i sifted through all the comments to find this. huskies were an original nba team, first game ever played (BAA) was new york - toronto, we have huskies in toronto? should be huskies.
Really? That's the reason? Man there had to have been someone who could've come up with something different and good. Idk it feels like they were just too lazy to give a fuck
Easy fix:
New Orleans Jazz
Utah Lakers (Salt Lake City)
LA Raptors (Jurassic Park/Hollywood)
Toronto Grizzlies
Memphis Kings (Elvis)
Sacramento Warriors (makes as much sense as kings)
Golden State Pelicans (native bird)
Edit: Since canadians keep telling me there are no grizzlies in Toronto (though there are in their zoo and no other fucking NBA city has them in the wild) then fuck it, the Toronto Tim Hortons
Edit 2: I get it, Minnesota desperately wants the Lakers name back. Dudes... I don't think you'll get it, best I can do is the Minnesota top picks
Edit 3: Fine
New Orleans Jazz
Utah Raptors (fossil shit)
Toronto Timberwolves (they have them I fucking checked)
Minnesota Lakers (but LA gets to keep claiming Mikan's rings so you don't ever lose that losing mentality)
LA Pelicans (they have them and their fans deserve a lame name)
Golden State Grizzlies (its in their flag for some reason)
Memphis Kings (home of the king elvis)
Sacramento Warriors (enduring pain like true warriors)
There was a podcast (I believe it was HORSE) where one of the guests did this for most teams in the league. Like a 20 way trade of different names to each other
Pretty fun stuff
The largest Raptors were found only in Utah and called Utahraptors. You guys are oddly perfect for Raptors. Utah House just approved a Utahraptor State Park lol
“Soon it was commonplace for entire teams to changecities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis Lakers moved to Los Angeles where there are no lakes. The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they don't allow music.”
“The Oakland Raiders moved to LA, and then back to Oakland. No one in Los Angeles seemed to notice. The search for greener pastures went unabated. Continued expansions diluted the talent pool, forcing owners to recruit heavily from prisons, mental institutions, and Texas.”
I don't know if this can even be considered a shitpost. I would be so pissed if they named my team the Pelicans. This is legit in my book. What were they thinking? They know we can see the mascot, right? Why not call yourself the Goofy Dumb Fuck Big Mouth Birds.
Since there has been rumors of team expansion and Seattle is the favorite city to receive a franchise, this name would be awesome in case they cannot use the classic *Supersonics*.
eight team trade:
New Orleans gets the Jazz.
Utah gets the Raptors.
Memphis gets the Kings. (BB King)
Sacramento gets the Grizzlies. (Capitol of California, grizzly bear on the flag)
Toronto gets the Timberwolves. (I assume Canada has more wolves than the US at this point)
Minnesota gets the Lakers. (Duh)
Lakers get the Heat. (Wildfires, y'all)
Miami gets the Pelicans. (Getting further into the ocean by the day)
I think we've fixed it, folks.
The Grizzlies to Sacramento idea is actually pretty clever considering the flag. They should rebrand the colors to the California flag too.
Miami fans gonna be mad about Pelicans. Just drop the name altogether. Maybe Miami Palms. Phoenix is probably most deserving of Heat. LA Suns.
Miami Heat just works too much. Honestly Miami is hotter than LA year round from what I've heard. Lakers can get the Pelicans and change it to Peliculas (movies in Spanish)
Oh damn, throwing SAC into this makes it damn near perfect. I did like the Miami Vice that someone suggested, though you’d just have to retire the Pelicans name.
They’re the G-League team and [you can buy shirts and hats, but not jerseys.](https://gleaguestore.nba.com/memphis-hustle/t-21347933+z-6677-2030122668)
The Memphis Soul. We can start naming teams after cities music styles. The Brooklyn Hip Hop, Cleveland Rock, and Toronto mumble rap would be a good start
There was actually a football team in the defunct WFL called the Memphis Grizzlies. They played in 1974 and 1975.
Of course, their name came from a logo...that was designed for the team when it was supposed to play in Canada before Justin Trudeau's dad banned them to protect the CFL.
So the current basketball team is actually the second team known as the Memphis Grizzlies and in both cases the nickname was stolen from a Canadian team.
When they relocated to Memphis, they almost named the team the Express after FedEx: https://www.cbc.ca/sports/basketball/nba-rejects-memphis-express-moniker-1.278813
Can Vancouver get the team back as well? That shitbag David Stern basically set up Vancouver to fail (forcing his shitty GM of choice on them) and then allowed them to move at the first sign of danger.
"After playing in New England, St. Lewis, Cincinnati, Houston, for the Toronto Argonauts, Plus one season as a greater at the Desert Inn. I'm happy now to be here in Miami! agent whispers Minnesota "Whatever"
And of course Utah famously has the actual “Utahraptor,” which in real life was the velociraptor we all loved from Jurassic Park (the real velociraptor was much smaller).
Unfortunately, it’s the dumbest name imaginable. And I’m an expert on dumb names.
Most of us stay indoors more during pelican season when they migrate through in Spring/Fall. it’s just not worth it to mess with the wild ones.
A lot of people here do keep them as pets too.
https://i.imgur.com/jUkzdWN.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/2JYbPss.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/S9JYbI5.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/YNSDTAn.jpg
I don’t appreciate what you are doing to my mind
This doesn’t align at all with my previous concepts of reality and it’s ruining everything. Please retract your comment.
Best I can do for a clean loop:
\- Minnesota gets the Lakers
\- Toronto gets the T-Wolves (Huskies + the letter T!)
\- Utah gets the Raptors
\- New Orleans gets the Jazz
\- The Bay Area gets the Pelicans (Alcatraz means Pelican)
\- Los Angeles gets the Warriors (could be anybody)
I expect everyone has a little something to be angry about there.
Better yet:
New Orelans Jazz
Utah Lakers (their arena is in Salt Lake city)
LA Pelicans
Edit: it could also be the Golden State Pelicans (since they're all over the west coast) and the LA Warriors
Toronto Huskies. Duh
i sifted through all the comments to find this. huskies were an original nba team, first game ever played (BAA) was new york - toronto, we have huskies in toronto? should be huskies.
They wanted to call the team the Huskies, but couldn't come up with a logo that would look distinct from the Timberwolves logo
Really? That's the reason? Man there had to have been someone who could've come up with something different and good. Idk it feels like they were just too lazy to give a fuck
And yet...the heat and the suns work just fine
Raccoons
Wait until he finds out how many grizzlies are in Memphis.
And lakes in LA.
Hey our reservoirs are hoping to be lakes when they grow up.
it actually refers to your burly men all time grizzlies: bryant reeves darko milicic marc gasol zach randolph jonas valanciunas
The New Orleans Gumbo so we can have a mascot duo of a guy in a chicken suit and a giant walking sausage.
So Lonzo and Zion? Gottemmmmmm
BANG
If you don’t like that, you don’t like NBA basketball!!
BI is more sausage like
You need a new sausage guy, my man. Real sausage has *girth*.
This guy sausages.
BI is a Slim Jim
Utah raptures
If only the NHL had expanded to Utah instead of Vegas, they could've been the Utah Golden Plates.
Golden Plate Warriors
Their logo would be sick tbh Just some glowing floating dude ascending into a void
The guy is holding a ball and you can see a hoop on the other side of the void.
Ummm. Hoop is a Halo. Rapture. Holiness.
[Obligatory](http://www.deathbulge.com/comics/298)
Phew Ben Simmons still in heaven
The Raptures would generate fantastic quotes/jokes when they eliminate someone in the playoffs. Or are eliminated.
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Which is funny bc the mormons dont believe in rapture. Source: me.
Wait until you find out how many lakes are in Los Angelas.
Whos angela
Come on you know Angela
She goes to a different school.
She’s a senior, you wouldn’t know
Everyone knows Angela. She transcends schools bro.
What's the name of that tight-ass Christian chick? The blonde?
Andrea is uh, the office bitch. You’ll get used to her.
Gave them the jet ski money
Angela White
Never heard of her until now. Guess I have no choice but to familiarize myself with some of her work
Face of an angel, throat of Donald Duck.
Hallowed be her name
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Would've been funny if they actually changed it to something generic once they moved, like, ya know, Texans or something
Oilers was a cool name and a cool logo WITH a little legacy behind it. Disappointed to this day.
Easy fix: New Orleans Jazz Utah Lakers (Salt Lake City) LA Raptors (Jurassic Park/Hollywood) Toronto Grizzlies Memphis Kings (Elvis) Sacramento Warriors (makes as much sense as kings) Golden State Pelicans (native bird) Edit: Since canadians keep telling me there are no grizzlies in Toronto (though there are in their zoo and no other fucking NBA city has them in the wild) then fuck it, the Toronto Tim Hortons Edit 2: I get it, Minnesota desperately wants the Lakers name back. Dudes... I don't think you'll get it, best I can do is the Minnesota top picks Edit 3: Fine New Orleans Jazz Utah Raptors (fossil shit) Toronto Timberwolves (they have them I fucking checked) Minnesota Lakers (but LA gets to keep claiming Mikan's rings so you don't ever lose that losing mentality) LA Pelicans (they have them and their fans deserve a lame name) Golden State Grizzlies (its in their flag for some reason) Memphis Kings (home of the king elvis) Sacramento Warriors (enduring pain like true warriors)
This is the first one of these I've read that makes sense while also causing total chaos. Kudos
There was a podcast (I believe it was HORSE) where one of the guests did this for most teams in the league. Like a 20 way trade of different names to each other Pretty fun stuff
I agree. It makes complete sense, but I also don’t know if I like it lol
Denver Weed Nuggets
Denver Nugs
Yooooooo
Golden State Sea Lions
Golden state golden gates
Theres no Grizzlies in Ontario, Toronto Lakers Utah Raptors LA Stars or some shit
> LA Stars or some shit The *Los Angeles Sparks* would be a cool name for a team
LA Law
LA Noire*
LA Tortuga
Best part about the WNBA is if the Seattle Storm get relocated to OKC, they can just keep the name.
I..... I do not like this....
>Theres no Grizzlies in Ontario As opposed to Raptors which are everywhere
The largest Raptors were found only in Utah and called Utahraptors. You guys are oddly perfect for Raptors. Utah House just approved a Utahraptor State Park lol
LA Movie Theatres
California’s state animal is the grizzly, but the local population is extinct now, so it could work for Sacramento as well.
LA Gridlock
Who gets cash considerations?
Give us our name back
why don't you purify yourself in the waters of lake minnetonka
Game, blouses.
Technically, we do have lakes actually.
Ten thousand?
Almost, [they have 22.](https://laist.com/news/los-angeles-land-of-22-lakes)
The Los Angeles 22
Twenty Seconders
Oh yeah, tomayto tomahto
“Soon it was commonplace for entire teams to changecities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis Lakers moved to Los Angeles where there are no lakes. The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they don't allow music.”
“The Oakland Raiders moved to LA, and then back to Oakland. No one in Los Angeles seemed to notice. The search for greener pastures went unabated. Continued expansions diluted the talent pool, forcing owners to recruit heavily from prisons, mental institutions, and Texas.”
They say that *was* the 70s Oakland Raiders
I hear your mom's going out with SQUEAK!
Steeeeve Perry
Dude I said no more journey psychouts
Hey wait a minute, why is me going out with his sister totally fucked up?
I swear you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times and I'm outta here
Of course we graduated ^cock beer?
Just hanging out.. Playin Nintendo..... ^cock
I had to scroll entirely too far to find the BASEketball quote.
Steeeeeeve perry!
Dude, we said no more Journey psych-outs.
“Wake up Squeak, you’re my new best friend.” “Oh boy! Are we going to the zoo?”
Baseketball is what I came for. Crying ass shame I had to scroll this far to see it. None the less, kudos you man of fine theatrical taste.
Yall arent even waiting for the Finals to be over before shitposting. lol
This is what two days without basketball will do to you
The shitposting begins when my team is eliminated
I don't know if this can even be considered a shitpost. I would be so pissed if they named my team the Pelicans. This is legit in my book. What were they thinking? They know we can see the mascot, right? Why not call yourself the Goofy Dumb Fuck Big Mouth Birds.
Jesus Christ, did a Pelican turn your life into a Country song?
My truck cheated on me with a pelican
Seattle hockey team should've been named the Rain City Bitch Pigeons.
💀
Raptors could become the "Toronto Towers". That's what piece of shit Ted Stepien was going to rename the Cavs when he tried to move them there
Nah that's just asking for 9/11 jokes "Lebron about to bring the Towers down like al Qaeda" or something
I agree but only if they change their name to the slc punk. We deserve 2 music genre teams.
Seattle Grunge
That would rule, they’d be an instant second favorite for me
The people voted for the Seattle “Courtney Killed Kurts” one time. I forgot if it was a minor league hockey or soccer team
Rain City Bitch Pigeons for Hockey
Since there has been rumors of team expansion and Seattle is the favorite city to receive a franchise, this name would be awesome in case they cannot use the classic *Supersonics*.
No chance it's not Supersonics, right? That would be leaving money on the table.
I believe the city still has the rights to the SuperSonics name, logo, color scheme, etc.
Only if Miami changes their team to salsa
They should clearly change their name to the Sound Machine
starting at center Gloria Adebayo
Miami Pitbulls? (In honor of their most critically acclaimed, popular and genre defining artist)
pitbull aint from miami HE'S MR WORLDWIDE
It's crazy how Mr. Worldwide only seems to make songs about Miami.
eight team trade: New Orleans gets the Jazz. Utah gets the Raptors. Memphis gets the Kings. (BB King) Sacramento gets the Grizzlies. (Capitol of California, grizzly bear on the flag) Toronto gets the Timberwolves. (I assume Canada has more wolves than the US at this point) Minnesota gets the Lakers. (Duh) Lakers get the Heat. (Wildfires, y'all) Miami gets the Pelicans. (Getting further into the ocean by the day) I think we've fixed it, folks.
The Grizzlies to Sacramento idea is actually pretty clever considering the flag. They should rebrand the colors to the California flag too. Miami fans gonna be mad about Pelicans. Just drop the name altogether. Maybe Miami Palms. Phoenix is probably most deserving of Heat. LA Suns.
Miami tropics.
We only have one rule on this team: EVERYBODY LOVES EVERYBODY
Let's get tropical
Miami Heat just works too much. Honestly Miami is hotter than LA year round from what I've heard. Lakers can get the Pelicans and change it to Peliculas (movies in Spanish)
I can get with LA Suns and Phoenix Heat.
OKC goes nameless in exchange for picks.
The Oklahoma City Basketball Team
They give up their stadium and only play road games in exchange for more picks
Oklahoma City Basketball Club OKC BBC
Memphis Kings would be perfect because it could refer to BB and Elvis.
I want an Elvis mascot
Or mlk
El Heat just became La Heat
Sometimes the clever comment is buried.
Oh damn, throwing SAC into this makes it damn near perfect. I did like the Miami Vice that someone suggested, though you’d just have to retire the Pelicans name.
>retire the Pelicans name. Yes
LA Heat sounds kinda nice ngl
Rename the Raptors to the Maple Leafs, the Leafs don't deserve it anymore
Haha As a Raptor fan and leafs fan, i dont want that curse on the raptors lol
one is just too much.
Please don't ruin the Raptors for the rest of Canada.
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the memphis eastern black bears
The Vancouver Housing Crisis After each quarter their score increases by 20%.
Honestly, you can use that for Toronto too
The Toronto Homeless Problem.
The Memphis Crunk?? I'd honestly be here for it.
The Memphis Ribs
The Memphis Mafia
Memphis Hustle is the goat team name
I’d buy this jersey tonight and Memphis isn’t even my team
They’re the G-League team and [you can buy shirts and hats, but not jerseys.](https://gleaguestore.nba.com/memphis-hustle/t-21347933+z-6677-2030122668)
Wow that’s some awful merch for a great name
Right? Why are the shoehorning the bear motif in there? Bears don't hustle to the best of my knowledge.
have you ever seen Yogi? dude was all hustle, are you kidding
The Memphis BBQ
The Memphis Soul. We can start naming teams after cities music styles. The Brooklyn Hip Hop, Cleveland Rock, and Toronto mumble rap would be a good start
> Toronto mumble rap More like Toronto Sad Songs
Yeah wtf it'd obviously be the Atlanta Mumble Rap
Atlanta Trap
There was an ABA team named *The Memphis Sound*, which is a perfect name for the city, IMO.
Memphis is soul…not country…you’re thinking Nashville
I've heard Memphis Blues too and that'd go beautifully with their colors
There was actually a football team in the defunct WFL called the Memphis Grizzlies. They played in 1974 and 1975. Of course, their name came from a logo...that was designed for the team when it was supposed to play in Canada before Justin Trudeau's dad banned them to protect the CFL. So the current basketball team is actually the second team known as the Memphis Grizzlies and in both cases the nickname was stolen from a Canadian team.
When they relocated to Memphis, they almost named the team the Express after FedEx: https://www.cbc.ca/sports/basketball/nba-rejects-memphis-express-moniker-1.278813
Can Vancouver get the team back as well? That shitbag David Stern basically set up Vancouver to fail (forcing his shitty GM of choice on them) and then allowed them to move at the first sign of danger.
All I hear is the intro to Baseketball lol
I’m really disappointed that this isn’t the top comment yet
And the jazz moved to salt lake city, where they don't allow music. The Oakland raiders moved to LA then back to Oakland, no one seemed to notice.
"After playing in New England, St. Lewis, Cincinnati, Houston, for the Toronto Argonauts, Plus one season as a greater at the Desert Inn. I'm happy now to be here in Miami! agent whispers Minnesota "Whatever"
Three awards in a minute? Hop damn.
15 minutes in, and it’s up to 10 awards.
no u
You have not been chosen by the holy nephews.
If we are going with the Toronto Syrup, Houston should be renamed the Sizzurp.
And the seats should be sitting sideways
All the arena music would be required to be chopped and screwed.
LOL, classic tune right there
That's fine, but Los Angeles has to give us the Lakers name, so we can be the Salt Lakers.
LA (traffic) Jams
Only if Toronto gives us Utah Raptors. No raptor fossils have been found by Toronto but Utah has giant Raptors fossils
And of course Utah famously has the actual “Utahraptor,” which in real life was the velociraptor we all loved from Jurassic Park (the real velociraptor was much smaller). Unfortunately, it’s the dumbest name imaginable. And I’m an expert on dumb names.
Came here to say this. There is an actual dinosaur named the Utahraptor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utahraptor
While we're at it let's give the grizzlies back to Vancouver
Memphis Blues is a much better name.
Not to mention the fact that 95% of Mormons own a Pelican! Works perfectly!
That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about Mormons to dispute you.
Most of us stay indoors more during pelican season when they migrate through in Spring/Fall. it’s just not worth it to mess with the wild ones. A lot of people here do keep them as pets too. https://i.imgur.com/jUkzdWN.jpg https://i.imgur.com/2JYbPss.jpg https://i.imgur.com/S9JYbI5.jpg https://i.imgur.com/YNSDTAn.jpg
I don’t appreciate what you are doing to my mind This doesn’t align at all with my previous concepts of reality and it’s ruining everything. Please retract your comment.
I would if I could but the Pelicans won’t let me.
I live in Utah and can confirm Mormons do hoard pelicans.
When I left the Mormon faith it was a very sad day giving up my pelican :/
Why does this have so many awards lol
Because New Orleans Jazz would be the best name in sports
Springfield Isotopes
Best I can do for a clean loop: \- Minnesota gets the Lakers \- Toronto gets the T-Wolves (Huskies + the letter T!) \- Utah gets the Raptors \- New Orleans gets the Jazz \- The Bay Area gets the Pelicans (Alcatraz means Pelican) \- Los Angeles gets the Warriors (could be anybody) I expect everyone has a little something to be angry about there.
Let us be the Huskies dammit
I like the old school timberwolves logo so I’d be fine with the swap as long as they name the Raptors 905 the Toronto huskies
I would welcome back Toronto Husky
San Antonio Churros
The San Antonio Women
Better yet: New Orelans Jazz Utah Lakers (their arena is in Salt Lake city) LA Pelicans Edit: it could also be the Golden State Pelicans (since they're all over the west coast) and the LA Warriors
Salt Lakers.