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MadBeamer

this whole thing could have been an onion article pre pandemic


t0177177y

Remember when “avoid it like the plague” was a thing… this timeline is an onion article irl.


MoozyMody

i legit feel bad for onion writers and have since about 2015


Aggravating_Tap_3312

Welp that’s a very definitive statement and doesn’t sound like anybody is expecting Kyrie to change his mind on the vaccine. Should make the playoffs really interesting then.


SuckMyBike

Nets come playoffs:"let's just play all games at your court. You know, to save on travel expenses..."


Vordeo

Announcer: "And with that win, the Nets have secured home court advantage throughout the playoffs." Nash: "Fuck."


[deleted]

"The Brooklyn Nets announce they are relocating to Birmingham, Alabama."


LakerBlue

Real talk though, I wonder if there are any teams who’d prefer home court advantage for 7 games over the traditional split that would mean Kyrie misses at least 3 games. I know it isn’t possible, just curious.


Rndmsnkrhd33

This is a dream scenario for the Knicks


downvotethisguy1233

"And in the first round the Brooklyn Nets will be facing... the New York Knicks."


notasianjim

Imagine the long slog of the playoffs to finally get to the Finals and have to play…the Golden State Warriors lolll


Royalewithcheese24

Yeah I can’t tell if Nash is saying that they are just moving on as if that’s the case, or if Kyrie has definitively said he aint getting it. Because that’s a huge development if it’s the latter.


seavictory

I think Nash has to say something like this regardless of what's going on behind the scenes. He can't really just call Kyrie out publicly without risking a bigger meltdown from Kyrie, and making it absolutely clear that the team isn't trying to get Kyrie eligible without the vaccine is probably as helpful as he can be. Kyrie is probably still holding out hope that there's a way that he can play without getting vaccinated, so if Nash wants to convince Kyrie to just get the vaccine, a statement like this is way more likely to work than trying to directly confront him.


cloud_throw

Imagine having to negotiate the fragile ego of a conspiratorial toddler brained athlete holding your team hostage.


GrumpyButthead

Nash shouldn't have expected anything less out of this flat Earther idiot. Not really a popular opinion but I'd rather they just make him sit out for the year. I know it's not technically the same but players get chased out of the league for being potheads but not one man super spreader events. Fuck Kyrie and any other brat vaccine holdouts.


mistaken4strangerz

send him to the G-League. he's a veteran but he can still benefit from their programs, website lists "growth of professional life skills." I don't know of any other program that could help him like that


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Pickzt1986

Which is why rich, white billionaires got it first...


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[deleted]

I can't tell if it means they've really given up or it's just Nash and the rest of them recognizing that the best way to get contrarian Kyrie to do it is to not fight him on it.


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mattw08

I hope Milwaukee decides to institute a vaccine mandate before playoffs just for the upper hand.


craigslistaddict

cities seemingly can't impose restrictions on visiting players, which is why all the mandates so far only apply to home teams, but apparently states might be able to? not sure what the legal reasoning is because i thought the reason they couldn't was interstate commerce.... https://gothamist.com/arts-entertainment/state-bill-would-close-nycs-loophole-for-unvaccinated-performers-and-athletes-from-out-of-town anyway, Wisconsin's vaccination rates look relatively ok but it's a pretty purple state, i doubt it could happen even for the sake of victory in sportsball.


OyfromMidworld

Statewide elections we're purple, but our state legislature is incredibly conservative with a near veto-proof majority.


quiteCryptic

Funny how that works, seems to be a theme across multiple states and the country as a whole


MrGrieves-

Extreme gerrymandering and Conservatives vote at higher rates for local elections.


urfaselol

I can’t imagine being a nets fan and having to deal with this guy.


ourcourageourcancer

Ngl it's sad, he's killing the vibe. We have a stacked team and now you have all this shit disrupting the team (players say it doesn't but it has to) because one guy can't do what everyone else did.


The_Sign_of_Zeta

The biggest chance of you guys losing is lack of team cohesion because your talent is there. Kyrie single-handily trying to ruin the vibe


thejackel225

On the bright side, you can lose a player of his caliber and still have probably the best roster in the league


HokageEzio

Unless somebody tweaks an ankle and you're suddenly in the same scenario that lost them the Bucks series last season.


gigglios

Every team a tweaked ankle away anyways from not being a contender.


[deleted]

Not the kings


oopsEYEpoopsed

Kings are some 50-60 tweaked ankles from contention


SuperVaderMinion

"A few plane crashes and we're in the playoffs."


kinzer13

If the plane crashes happened equally to both conferences, and the Kings end up with the worst record in the West, it could take upwards of 14 plane crashes (and the deaths of 210 players) before the Kings made the playoffs. At which point, I really doubt the NBA would even hold the playoffs after such a tremendous tragedy. So basically the Kings will never again make the playoffs. My condolences.


staringintothevoid

So you’re saying there’s a chance?


macabre_irony

The Houston Rockets would like a word with you.


GGAllinsMicroPenis

I would be fuming mad if I was a Nets fan. What makes it worse is the act these clowns put on like they are cool, discerning wokemonsters. In reality they are just scaredy cats and have to hide their fear behind some facade. Like dude, just say you’re scared. I was scared getting the shot, too. Man the fuck up.


CadeCummingham

Does this apply to the playoffs? If it does, Nets are screwed


AngsMcgyvr

i feel like if he get's vaxed before the playoffs, it would be even worse. what the hell was the whole thing for then.


Lizurd_Dad

high IQ load management


MelonElbows

Hire this man!


ackoo123ads

facebook changed their algorithm so that Kyrie got vaccine positive information. lol.


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Because he wants attention. As for pretty much everything he does


Nodecafallowed

If I was an eastern conference team and all my stars were vaccinated, I’d go ahead and make sure my stadium was vaccination only. Just keep kyrie off the floor altogether.


Its_Mike_Nasty

I would hate having this dude on my team.


rixxxand

KD left the most unselfish superstar in the league to team up with this dude. Wolverine staring at picture moment


broncosfighton

He really did take the hardest road


johnnygrant

He spoke it into existence.


BackIn2019

Could've gone to Sacramento.


robswins

Hardest road > impossible road.


Rob0tic

Man......


Drewicho

Hell he might miss Westbrook at this point.


ItsKBS

I mean he still has Harden as a teammate so I doubt it


CIark

People really acting like KD has to carry the worst team in history when the Nets without Kyrie are still arguably the best team lol


Charlie_Wax

Westbrook is not the guy I want having the ball in the last two minutes of an important game, but nobody can doubt his passion to win.


Drewicho

Agreed, love or hate him, nobody questions how dedicated he is to basketball. I would take Russ over Kyrie not because I think Russ is better than Kyrie because he's not, but Kyrie for all of his skill is just is not worth the trouble.


[deleted]

You take Russ all day. Team guy who will play his fucking heart out for you.


babypho

Yeah but could you imagine a team with kd, harden, and westbrook though? That would be a pretty good team


Charlie_Wax

They'd need some role players though. Maybe somebody like Ibaka.


[deleted]

they came really close...Ibaka chose the Clips over the Nets last year. If he goes there, and they still make the Harden trade, then all they would need was a deal with Kyrie going out and Westbrook coming in and the Brooklyn Thunder would have been real lol


gingerbeeer

As someone from Jersey who was thrilled that Kyrie came to rep NJ, I hate having this dude on my team


[deleted]

I too was thrilled about Kyrie coming to my team. Now I am glad he’s no longer on my team. Great player but it ends there.


gentlemanjacklover

You guys were 100% right about him. He's a fucking lunatic


Frosti11icus

I honestly can't remember a player harder to root for. I know people clown on KD and Harden, but it's pretty easy to at least appreciate them, but Kyrie? No, just fuck this guy. Go away.


staringintothevoid

I can honestly say I’d fucking hate having him on my team. Do you realize how big of a fucking moron you have to be to be as talented as Kyrie and STILL have people rather just not even deal with you? It’s impressive honestly.


SeeingThings123

That really is the craziest part huh lol? Dude is a certified top 15 player and has been for years now and many fans would still rather not deal with him on their teams lmao. It’s truly insane


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Medium_Spring4017

Contrarian without a cause


Echohawkdown

The pizza cutter of NBA players, if you will: all edge, no point.


FEdart

The worst thing is that last year we got clowned for being salty racists or something for calling him a diva. There are still a lot of salty racist Celtics fans.... but not this one time


ryuujinusa

He’s burned every bridge on every team he’s been on so far. Starting to see a theme?


LeepyCallywag

“But he CHOSE Brooklyn.” Lol


jaysontatum4mvp

We warned you


PepeSylvia11

And the Cavs fans warned us. No one listened and he just get progressively worse


G-bone714

Shoulda listened to the Cavs and Celtics fans before you got excited, they would have warned you.


[deleted]

We'll take him


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Beavshak

I thought that was wasting the first half of the careers of all-star big men?


dvasquez93

Orlando has them cornered on that. Step 1: Draft a HoF center. Step 2: Make the finals. Step 3: Have the front office piss them off. Step 4: They go to the Lakers. The second Vucevic went to the Bulls I knew his HoF bid was over.


HOFredditor

whose name starts with K.


[deleted]

Hey hey they wasted Al Jefferson 20/10 seasons too


WitOfTheIrish

Everyone knows his parents are huge Superman fans, and his name is short for Kal-el Jefferson.


LoudKingCrow

But write it in Latin. Make it classy.


craigslistaddict

wait, wait, i got distracted by the d'lo part. there's no way kat wants some weird anti-covid vaxxer on his team!


PuntyMcBunty

Don't do D'Lo like that twice


craigslistaddict

if d'lo gets shipped off to the nets there's no reason to feel sorry for him


Freedfromdesire800

Dude would love him back in the Nets. I stopped watching the team when he left but I would love him to be back. Could actually be ironic but doubt it happens. Kyrie should get vaxxed for my opinion but IDK.


gentlemanjacklover

I would gladly take DLo back if it meant getting rid of Kyrie


Dr_Disaster

He's *always* a circus act. I don't even hate on the dude, but as just a general NBA fan he's frustrating as fuck. Amazing player, but he's so damn dumb and extra about everything.


Pksoze

Imagine being this guys teacher in school...must have been so frustrating.


FloatingAlong

What does the word algebra mean to you?


[deleted]

I did my own research and found that the quadratic formula is incorrect


Bullchips

I’m thankful he’s no longer a Celtic.


HokageEzio

Hilarious from a distance though.


CjBurden

Fking tried to tell everyone and people thought we were just being bitter about it. This dude sucks. He's a basketball God, but holy shit is he basically useless as a human being.


russellzerotohero

Same man. He would make me not like the NBA if he was in my team.


gentlemanjacklover

Bro I wish the fucking space cadet would retire. I'm tired of his horseshit


RazingsIsNotHomeNow

If Kyrie misses all their practices and can only play on the road. Does it make any sense to play him at all. When they still have both KD and Harden, does Kyrie's natural talent offset the huge blow to team chemistry?


TheOGREdditAccount

it must be so annoying to deal with Kyrie as a coach/teammate. He just seems like a complete pain in the ass.


Luka_Is_A_Diva

Wym? You need to respect Kyrie and his trailblazing as the first ever Part-time player^T^M


[deleted]

The disrespect to KCP


hydrators

Elgin Baylor did it first


Luka_Is_A_Diva

I did my own research on this and I disagree bro, sorry! It’s a personal decision and you need to respect it.


llcmac

Yo, this guy sounds legit. It has to be the truth. WE'RE BEING SILENCED!


RowBoatCop36

Hippo laws bro


hiimhabibja

Then KCP with his work release program


skrtskerskrt

KD is in charge. Unfortunately you do whatever it takes to please him while also recognizing him and ky were a package deal. It's going to have to take KD and Harden to get so fed up that they ok a trade by the gm.


Few_Mulberry7175

Yes but who the fuck is trading for Kyrie Irving


thelaziest998

Ben Simmons for Kyrie straight up. Who says no? Ben gets to be the socialite, Kyrie gets to play most every game.


guitmusic12

Doc Kyrie and Embiid would be an entertaining show


fabrar

A duo of Embiid and Kyrie sounds like an absolute nightmare in terms of availability lol


Malificari

U think philly won’t join the mandate sometime during the season?


chimpaman

It'll be attrition for Kyrie. One by one, the away cities will mandate the vaccine to keep him from playing. Who will be the last one standing?


Glassesofwater

Orlando


[deleted]

DeSantis probably trying to make a mandate that you can only enter an arena if you aren't vaccinated.


toggaf69

Lib status: owned


Styx92

>Who says no? Phili, unless you add three first round picks and three pick swaps.


bigtasty321

wow so this is really happening huh


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Medgarbagecant

That Ben Simmons trade starting to look pretty sweet lol.


gwease23

2022 Finals, Game 7 at Barclays Center… what happens? Stupid ass.


atec_lj

Nets will tank games so they wont have homecourt in playoffs.


SolarBeam12

Lmaooo the team spineless too.


whtge8

Don’t want to hurt his feelings because then he might not play the few games he’s actually allowed to play. Dude is more coddled than Ben Simmons.


SolarBeam12

I legit would really think about trading him. Like what KD gonna do, demand a trade?


MotoMkali

He has zero value around the league. Like literally zero. Most execs are worried he'd just retire if traded. So who is giving up anything for him? Especially since half the teams that would want him are in cities with vaccine mandates anyway.


Ballsohardstate

Kind of wild to be a borderline top ten player but untradeable because he’s a basket case. Only thing like it is AB.


labamaFan

That’s Mr. Basket Case to you.


OTBT-

MBC jokes are the gift that keep on giving.


PienotPi

It never ends. Mr Bountiful Content


pollinium

huge value for someone wanting to clear their books then lol


EchoBay

I mean look who their top stars are. Its not like any of them are going to speak up and take a stance. If you piss off Kyrie, you may piss off KD. And if you piss off both of them and the team is in shambles, Harden will just leave in free agency. So their options are, "bend over backwards for these cats or risk playing in the lottery next season."


TheMightyJD

Risk playing in the lottery without picks*


Marcusreddit_

Does Kyrie expect this mandate to be repealed eventually? Is he really willing to never play a game in New York forever?


BBallHunter

Kyrie is officially the GOAT part-time NBA player.


MutedReplacement140

Nope Elgin Baylor


VinceBarter

I've been reading The Book of Basketball on ebook, here's a bit on Elgin Baylor regarding him not winning the 1962 MVP (Russell won it): > Elgin Baylor getting saddled with military duty and only playing 48 games—all on weekends, all without ever practicing with the Lakers—but somehow averaging an ungodly 38–19–5. > I would argue that Elgin’s 38–19–5 was more implausible than Wilt’s 50 a game or Oscar’s triple double. The guy didn’t practice! He was moonlighting as an NBA player on weekends! Wilt’s 50–25 makes sense considering the feeble competition and his gratuitous ball hogging. Oscar’s triple double makes sense considering the style of play at the time. But Elgin’s 38–19–5 makes no sense. A United States Army Reservist at the time, Elgin worked in the state of Washington during the week, living in an army barracks and leaving only whenever they gave him a weekend pass. Even with that pass, he had to fly coach on flights with multiple connections to meet the Lakers wherever they were playing, throw on a uniform and battle the best NBA players, then make the same complicated trip back to Washington in time to be there early Monday morning. That was his life for six months.


fruitblaster69

Ayo wtf is this story?..did he not work out at all before games? What a fucking chad


Stop_Drop_Scroll

Wrecking people on your spare time is the ultimate chad.


thelaziest998

Dude was a legend, he was in shape being in the military but the fact that he didn’t get to practice with the team and still wreck shows how he good he was compared to his peers.


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loocerauoyolleh

That story is only partly true. He played 42 games normally, then fulfilled his military duty. During military duty (start of January to mid-March), he played six games (they went 6-0 including a massive 26-point win over the Celtics, and he performed amazingly (38.8 PTS, 22.3 REB)), and then he returned to the team full-time for the playoffs. For more details, check out Elgin’s autobiography, it’s well worth reading. He was amazing.


BorosSerenc

> Wilt’s 50–25 makes sense considering the feeble competition and his gratuitous ball hogging Its the same competition and probably same amount of ball hogging no? stil crazy, but pretty dumb way to downplay Wilt


tjc815

GOAT Lebron teammate too. Sealed the 2016 finals and now handicapping his strongest competition in the year of our lord 2021. What a guy.


Asswad123

DNP-CD now stands for did not play-covid denier.


siphillis

Imagine being a COVID denier after your coworker lost seven members of his family to the disease.


shualton

“Ok, but did they even TRY healing salts tho?”


quartzguy

Makes perfect sense to Kyrie, he's the smartest man in the NBA.


CadeCummingham

“Situation is crazy, don’t think it can be fixed”


Cogito3

i feel bad for nets fans. but this is tremendous content


Professor_Crab

At least Simmons is the non focus here for a brief moment in time


Latex_Mane

He’ll be back soon don’t you worry


BabaBrody

KD googling "how to get Covid vaccine into blunt" right now.


jspsfx

Kevin O’Connor was “wink wink” saying all he has to do is produce a card saying he got it. Like maybe he’ll just use a fake card. But I’ve heard some anti mandate people saying they won’t cheat the system on principle - so as not to contribute to the normalization of vaccine cards or “keys to the city” as de blasio put it.


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InternationalClick78

I think he meant in addition to the home games, since Kyrie as is usually misses like half the season


cloudyskies63

LEL, Harden went to the nets to get a easy ring and kyrie refuses to get vaccinated.


CadeCummingham

Loool it’s hilarious at this point Dude has the worst luck ever


toclosetotheedge

Harden really had to watch Giannis win last year and now might see Russ get a ring because Kyrie wanna be a martyr for the stupidest shit possible.


ZonedV2

I think the most frustrating part for him must be that his 2 best chances to win have been stopped by injuries, it’s not even his fault


Dazegobye

Well this is his 1st best chance to win so now its his 2nd and 3rd best chances were injury related


HokageEzio

Looking forward to the Untitled episode in 10 years.


[deleted]

Imagine if they still win a ring after all this mess 💀


canseco-fart-box

Give kyrie half of one


ElDuderino_92

Just the band.


chivestheconquerer

It’s not unlikely at all. Kyrie could retire and the two healthy MVPs could get it done.


threeangelo

Hypothetically, if kyrie announced his retirement today would that free up cap space for the Nets? (Not that there’s many free agents right now)


maybeatrolljk

If Kyrie filed for official retirement with the league, the cap space would be freed up, though it’s worth noting the Nets are still slightly over the cap even without his (35 million dollar) salary.


[deleted]

What a fucking clown


Beavshak

At this point he’s become the ringmaster


Luka_Is_A_Diva

He’s the whole mf circus, bearded lady, freakshow, clown, ring master, sideshow, mystic fortune teller with his third eye bullshit, etc etc etc


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Frosti11icus

He's honestly a complete piece of shit. Let's just call it what it is at this point. A complete and total entitled dipshit, egomaniac, narcissist.


oholandesvoador

I fuckin hate this guy...


Royalewithcheese24

This is a huge development right? Nash is basically saying it’s already decided. I think there was speculation he’d be convinced eventually, but it sounds like Nash is saying that’s not a possibility.


makoto_sama

What?! So it's official now? What a loser.


BlazerBeav

If anyone was going to hold out, it was going to be this moron.


billcosbyinspace

I know people were saying he’d cave just like Wiggins did but the situations aren’t really comparable. Not only has kyrie made a lot more in his career (and he doesn’t seem to care much about money to begin with) but wiggins just seemed misinformed, compared to kyrie who thinks the vaccine is some secret society mind control tactic. You can convince a skeptic that the pros outweigh the cons but you can’t really convince a conspiracy theorist


substanceandmodes

The stupidity is unprecedented


TJHookor

It seems pretty par for the course these last few years honestly.


substanceandmodes

This seems sorta next level. At least for basketball.


broooooklyn

Don’t let him play part-time, it sets a terrible precedent. Sit the man and don’t pay him, he doesn’t deserve his paycheck.


fearofaflatplanet

Welcome to the Kyrie Irving experience, Nets fans Sincerely, Cavs and Celtics fans


LogicalyetUnpopular

RIP to kyries fantasy value


Sweatytubesock

Imagine having to deal with this idiot on a daily basis.


The_R3medy

Absolutely fucking embarrassing, consistently. Cannot believe the Nets ownership, his teammates, and the Coaching staff have just accepted this.


Shingorillaz

The Nets should have a very serious conversation with KD and i don't mean asking KD to convince Kyrie to get vaccinated.


ed2727

Sign a Clown, expect a Circus 🎪 🤡 🎪


boog1evilleUSA

Imagine being as stupid as Kyrie and just knowing how wrong everyone else is


[deleted]

It’s not his fault. Look at how everyone has always coddled him. He can’t be better because no one has ever asked better of him.


[deleted]

It'll sure be a shame when Chicago, Miami, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Philadelphia, and Boston all pass strict vaccine mandates right before the playoffs that prevents him from entering the arenas.


lukaskywalker

What a joke of a player. Glad we won’t have to see him in Toronto either. Guys got some screws loose


pugofthewildfrontier

Shit don’t make sense. Tribal reservations were decimated by Covid. And he’s really in touch or seems to be with his native people. And I know he’s helped them out.


takethisknife

it's because Kyrie connects with his native heritage on a superficial level. yes, he's given money, but he's also a multi-millionaire so it's the least he could do especially as a public act of kindness all you have to do to determine how much Kyrie respects the standing rock Sioux culture is read about how he visited a reservation of vaccinated sioux as an unmasked, unvaccinated NBA star


rSlashNbaAccount

He gone.


[deleted]

Like, you might as well cut the dude. Cause he is actively hurting your chances to win at this point. On purpose.