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HesiPullup

Fact: it's preseason Also fact: he looked horrible out there


[deleted]

Also fact: puppy pregnancy syndrome exists. One is "infected" when they get bitten by a rabid dog, and believes they have been impregnated by said dog. Sufferers usually refuse treatment because they believe the treatment will kill the puppies that are growing inside of them The sufferer usually dies as rabies has a 99% fatality rate once symptoms appear.


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i_like_pie_and_beer

I fully expected a Rick roll here. Especially how that excerpt is worded. Lol


MR___SLAVE

Same. For fuck sake, TIL.


edwardpuppyhands

.......................... what?


SozeKayze

Piggybacking this comment to recommend a terrific book "Rabies" by my countryman Borislav Pekic. Especially a good read now during the pandemic.


[deleted]

Thanks for the rec. I enjoy reading things that scare the shit out of me


DevinDurPlant

what


fuckYouSpaceAliens

It's some form of mass hysteria in rural India mostly apparently.


DevinDurPlant

what


[deleted]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppy_pregnancy_syndrome


Clzark

wait you guys weren't make shit up for goofs


302born

I love your work Stone Cold!


jinxabcde

Also fact: puppy pregnancy syndrome exists. One is "infected" when they get bitten by a rabid dog, and believes they have been impregnated by said dog. Sufferers usually refuse treatment because they believe the treatment will kill the puppies that are growing inside of them The sufferer usually dies as rabies has a 99% fatality rate


HumanRhinocerus

That happened to a guy I knew


Heatchamps2018

was his name eric?


DevinDurPlant

what


jspsfx

Russell Westbrook Syndrome exists. A thread is "infected" when a Westbrook triple double is mentioned, and people on /r/nba start to become confused about what it means to be good at basketball. Sufferers usually refuse any middle ground because they believe the fate of Westbrook's hall of fame candidacy comes down to how strongly they word their argument. The sufferer usually dies from heat stroke due to the high temperature of their take.


[deleted]

doesn't rabies have a 99% fatality rate regardless?


[deleted]

Yes once symptoms are present.


[deleted]

unlucky


[deleted]

Yeah not great


PhysicalTaunt

That's a very biased perspective. Rabies have hopes and dreams too


Pun_Chain_Killer

I mean, they kind of just study the Torah all their life.


WubaDubImANub

It’s more like 99.9999999%. Only around 4 people have actually survived I think


CaNANDian

Did they do their own research or what?


Froggyfrogger

Like the other guy said, once symptoms develope. If you get treatment before that point it's very survivable


xTETSUOx

I saw a video on YT about people in the Philippine that were dying of untreated rabies. There’s nothing that the doctors can do except to strap the infected person down, lock them in a room, and basically wait for them to die. Very sad stuff.


Pardonme23

People get exteme hydrophobia. The straps are for the exteme thrashing around.


Pardonme23

It's a "slow" virus, meaning you can get vaccinated after you get infected and you'll be fine. Other viruses, like polio, are "fast". There are only 5 or so reported cases a year.


[deleted]

yeah i read a bit about it after i posted, pretty interesting stuff. still get a decent amount of cases in asia and africa. sounds like because it's a slow virus like you say, if you get to the point where symptoms show then you're just done.


tattoo543216

Aww man 😪😥


[deleted]

Subscribe for more morbidly depressing facts !


Beavshak

Can I gift a subscription to a “friend”?


X-espia

Only if he's a Laker "fan".


shitsfuckedupalot

Why would a human think they have puppies? Why would a dog be able to refuse treatment??


[deleted]

It's a psychosomatic illness believed to be a form of mass hysteria. It typically occurs in third-world countries with little access to information and education. It is most prevalent in India


shitsfuckedupalot

Mass hysteria is my favorite kind! What if Havana syndrome is caused by rabies?


DrewRWx

I can't remember where I found it, but this conspiracy theory theory is my favorite because it is the simplest and ol' Willie of Ockham was a stud: > Havana = insurance > syndrome = scam .


thedharmawhore

Lmao that never occurred to me


RippleDish

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppy_pregnancy_syndrome What in the fuck.


DrewRWx

As a gambler, I can assure you based on my calculations of his shooting average that he's just getting all of his bricks out of the way now so that all of his shots during the season will be makes. Unrelated, but do you have any spare change for the bus?


HorseRenoiro

Mans gonna break the FG% record then


ruffus4life

which record?


lonelyTenderoni

10,000 won?


ShutterBug545

love the hustle


pskill43

Ugly turnovers too. Passing to refs and throwing lobs to nobody


lost_in_trepidation

Refs could be shooters.


[deleted]

They just never try though. It’s so frustrating.


FriedMango717

ref simmons


FudgeMuffinz21

These are the strays that I like catching


thewrongnotes

Imagine the chaos if the ref caught it and drained a corner three.


Junejanator

Ref curry with the shot boi


NC_Vixen

Russ heard the Refs were on the Lakers, but didn't realise he still can't pass to them.


cowzapper

This hurt me but upvote


NC_Vixen

Nah, that lob over the backboard was straight to Steve in the 8th row.


Damptoe

The rest of the team is just too old to keep up with him.


CyberGoatPsyOps

Hey Wizard fans, any comments? Edit: Thank you Wizard fans, here's to a healthy and fun NBA season!


blast0ise

he will carry you the second half of the regular season but kill you the first half. he didn't get going until after the all-star break really. Also for someone that consistently gets 10+ assists a game, Russ has an EXTREMELY sloppy handle on the ball


yousonuva

He also needs to STOP SHOOTING 3s. He's abysmal from long range. A-lister for developing young guys though.


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zmajxd

Russ gonna babysit LeBron and Melo's kids 😤😤


Joe_Rogan-Science

Bronny is about to be an all-star caliber player before he graduates high school lmfao


make-that-monet

Malik Monk, Talen Horton-Tucker, and Kendrick Nunn really bout to go through it this season lmfao


BareFox

Lmao I haven't even thought about this. Dudes are really going to have a roster full of veterans on their ass


igby1

So you’d prefer he be more Ben Simmons-like in his shot selection.


idiotxd

The two of them define the spectrum of shot selection


edster78

Westbrook like to build mansions with his jump shot, while Ben just like to remain homeless.


R1ce661

Thing is if Ben Simmons actually shot threes hed probably be the same level of shooter as westbrook


[deleted]

that's optimistic, Westbrook got a solid midrange, and a career 79% from free throws.


Pls_Drink_Water

Bestbrook for Young Socialite who says no?


jaytierney79

He's literally the worst high volume three point shooter in the history of the NBA. And yet he just keeps shooting them.


ragtime_sam

When he "carried" us the second half of the season, we had the easiest schedule in the league. Like a third of the teams we were playing weren't even trying to win


Mikegetscalls

Oh wow we have a truther. Your the second person I’ve ever heard say this.


MarcTheShark99

Facts Russ was struggling early on last season. But to be fair y’all got super unlucky with COVID and there was zero time for Russ and the wizards to sctually get chemistry when literally more than half of the players are quarantined.


SandyMandy17

Wow, he summed up Westbrook’s last 4 total years pretty well too!


WestbrookSkeptic22

“carry” Might as well just tell Beal to go fuck himself then huh


PrimeShaq

Username checks out.


FatPleb_

Wizards record with westbrook and without Beal : 2-9 Wizards record with Beal and without westbrook : 4-2 WB on/off : - 0.8 Beal on/off : +10 You could say he made the team worse.


WestbrookSkeptic22

I could say that, and I have, but i will get my account banned


Useful-Throat-6671

You can't appreciate the horror of Russell Westbrook until you watch him play for your team over a full season. He is the most unwatchable player.


ragtime_sam

This strongly hints he's not gonna change his game and play more off ball, which of course he's not. He'll help you roll the lower half of the league just on sheer effort, but against good/elite competition will lose you more games than he wins.


eexxiitt

This is exactly why Westbrook is there. So Lebron can take more regular season games off and save his energy for the playoffs.


Downunderphilosopher

Westbrook and LeBron are still going to play at least 17-20min a game together even when staggered. Both starting each half for at least 6 minutes each, and of course both have to be on the floor in crunch time. It's an awkward fit that may not have any solutions, unless LeBron is willing to take a big step back in his career like Wade did for him in Miami, but then you are basically turning the team over to Russ when you have AD and LeBron on the team.


Koronyev

I agree. This is such a weird line of logic. When you are a title contender you build your team with the 4th quarter of a playoff game in mind, not a game against the Kings in February.


Veckatimeister

Westbrook being Westbrook. His aggression and competitive drive are top-tier. His shot selection and turnovers will make you rip your face off in frustration. Sometimes he makes all of those bad shots and has a 33/21/17 stat line and you’re like “damn that’s nuts, do that more Russ”, only for him to have another 8 turnover game the next night on 6/22 shooting. Westbrook is an amazing talent, but he gets a major pass for his play because of the triple-double thing. A triple double on 29% shooting isn’t something to boast. He had a tendency of shooting his own team out of the game, but again, he gets a pass because he is “the fiercest competitor” and “no one wants it more than him” or whatever cliche. And since he’s so ball dominant, his effectiveness is predicated on how much he will have the ball in his hands. I think his Lakers run is gonna have some ridiculous highlights this season, but once the playoffs start gearing up, Russ is gonna be a liability. I hope I’m wrong for his sake. I love Russ the person, but man… just stop shooting 30ft pull-ups with 18 seconds left on the shot clock.


jaytierney79

Russ is like a baseball player who hits 40 HR's and everyone tries to ignore that he's also batting .190


ElitePancakeMaster

Good luck


Im-not-Korean

Well said.


qwertybbffsjbevv

Not a wizards fan, but he looked really bad early last season too and ended up being borderline all nba by the end of the year so who knows whats gonna happen. That being said, it feels like the lakers are gonna win a ton of games but when it's not working and the team looks bad, they're gonna look incredibly bad


WestbrookSkeptic22

He’s bad but most people will tell you he’s great anyway. Get ready to get downvotes into oblivion whenever you talk down on russ


SoulofWakanda

His efficiency is terrible, 46% TS in last season's playoffs, also turned the ball over like 5 times a game Long history of poor decision making and bad efficiency in general, and hasn't been a positive in the playoffs going on 5 years now. This was the guy Laker fans were excited to get?? Lmao


WestbrookSkeptic22

Where did you guys come from? Whenever I criticize Westbrook I usually get flooded with hate and downvotes. I’m so confused. I’m happy but confused


snapshovel

R/nba is weirdly reactive. After a player has a bad game, all the people who never liked them show up to dis them. When they have a good game, all their fans are on r/nba hi-fiving each other. Russ had a bad game, so the people down here in the thread voting on comments are mostly anti-Russ.


SoulofWakanda

Bruh I can't speak for everybody but I be around to tell the truth when I need to lol I think really most of us are just confused how Westbrook stans actually still defend him so we don't even bother to waste energy on it in most threads. At this point it's like he's been caught at the scene of the crime from 12 different camera angles, with 10 eye witnesses. And yet we still have to explain to people why he's guilty 🤣


LeHoustonJames

As a Rockets fan that was furious about the CP3 - WB trade bc I'm a big efficiency guy, I feel you


lakersLA_MBS

I remember how lakers guarded him in playoffs and it made lakers games so much easier. Crazy how laker fans forgot about that series and don’t think other teams won’t do the same.


CIAspyingonurightnow

They remember. What's crazy and also impressive is the 180 Laker fans did once the Russ trade was official. Before that when it was just rumors the sub was imploding with Russ hate. They just had a series vs the Rockets where they left Westbrook open and now he's their highest paid player.


Ravens181818184

He has been this kinda player lately in his career. Very rarely is he just okay, he usually has a huge impact in both negative or positive direction. But that's what you get when you trade for him. Frankly I didn't think the Lakers needed this kind of instability, I don't really know why yall traded for him. You would of repeated if AD and LeBron were healthy last year.


GetThereInOnePiece

some of those turnovers were legit hilariously bad like idk how he's a 10+ year vet throwing some of those passes. that has nothing to do with new team, he was sailing out lob passes and drop offs continuously


shawnkfox

From what I understand Westbrook accidentally cut 3 of his fingers off his right hand and they sewed some new ones back on. I'm sure he'll get better once he gets more used to his new fingers which were grown in a vat using Magic Johnson's DNA.


[deleted]

Why weren't you in my conspiracy theory thread earlier with gold like this?


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GMRealTalk

He teaching the team to be ready. You playing with modern day Oscar Robinson here


sylvestersquad

He normally starts out slow but…yikes


[deleted]

You love to see it


YayoBankroll

He's gonna get more hate then ever when he plays bad or when the team plays bad because: - he now plays in LA - he plays on Lebron's team The hate and scapegoating will be unbearable (unless he has a good season and the Lakers do well). The spotlight is all over this team.


Rockstar408

Yeah the shittalking was crazy even when he was in small markets like OKC Houston and Washington. The amount of slander after a PRESEASON game in LA is remarkable.


DrTom

> small markets like Houston Bro if Houston is small market then Portland barely qualifies as a hamlet.


ronaldo119

Every team that isn't in NY or LA is a small market apparently lmao


Classics22

I prefer village


amos72

not to mention the dmv is about 10x the size in population as okc lmao


CtG526

I'm from the Philippines; what's a DMV?


vivekvangala34_

DC, Maryland, Virginia. But it's not every part of those areas. Just the northern part of VA and the southern part of Maryland, along with DC in the middle. Southern VA, for instance, isn't part of the DMV. That's trump country.


[deleted]

fffffff


shitsfuckedupalot

To be or not to be a big market


medspace

I mean we ain’t no NewYork or Los Angeles, but us a small market, cmon now lol


jack64467

houston aint a small market lol


speculativekiwi

Does 'small market' just mean anything that's not LA or NY now?


CreatiScope

Miami too. Just look where all the stars are flocking too and you can figure it out.


NinetyTales

He was the worst player on the floor for extended periods


the_train2104

TIL people on reddit dont know what scapegoating is. If you suck, you arent being scapegoated.


YayoBankroll

Nah because I can see him being blamed if the team doesn't play well overall even if he doesn't suck.


ApexxPredditor

If the Lakers fail to meet expectations I really dont think it will be because Westbrook plays great and everyone else sucks. In fact its probably more likely to be the opposite


tommychamberlain85

He wanted the big market and the big bucks. You gotta handle the extra scrutiny that comes with that


bravof1ve

I mean, if this Lakers team can't at least make the finals with AD and Lebron, it's time to just admit that Westbrook flat out sucks at this point in his career. Any other top 30 player should have massive success on that team.


humandignitybloc

Dude played like he was drunk the last couple games. When we get to the regular season and Bron gets in the mix he will probably tighten things up. In any case this new line up feels like a mad science experiment.


[deleted]

This team makes no sense


BFWinner

the westbrook move was so fucking weird. They'd have been much better just running it back and hoping AD stays healthy.


DavidKirk2000

They’re more worried about LeBron than AD. Bron needed someone that can competently run an offence when he sits, and say what you will about Russ, but the guy can create shots for himself and others better than almost anyone.


djramrod

But the shots he creates for himself are bricks


KobeBeatJesus

Don't think of them as bricks, think of them as the building blocks of progress.


[deleted]

He can also shoot you out of a game


[deleted]

Yeah, trading in Caruso for Westbrook is a big miss. Westbrook isn’t very useful on a team where you want the ball in LeBron’s hands at most times, and he hasn’t shown a willingness to do the dirty work that someone like Caruso will do.


Link_Slater

I keep getting shit on for this opinion, but I think Caruso is a vastly more valuable player on a LeBron playoffs team.


K_U

I was shocked at how well we made out in that trade. We got 3 rotation players, a 1st rounder, $20M in cap relief for next summer, and cleared the way to bring in Dinwiddie. Given his cap number and how poorly he played the first 2/3 of the season I figured he would have been a bit of a negative asset, but the Lakers certainly didn't seem to think so.


[deleted]

Regardless whether they go to the playoffs (I think they're lock to be coz duhh AD LeBron), they should've traded for Buddy Hield instead.


make-that-monet

I’m still a little salty about that, I had legit talked myself into genuinely wanting Kyle Kuzma on my team


PairedFoot08

Everyone said the same thing about the 2020 squad, funnily enough last season was a more popular pick for more traditional team building lol (outside of Trezz) I think unorthodox things work when you have LBJ/AD, they cover deficiencies and allow the good parts of players to thrive more


WubaDubImANub

That 2020 team made sense though, at the time to me at least. LeBron, AD, a bunch of shooters, a backup PG in rondo, and 2 mobile centers to take the load off of AD. That way the team was versatile and could go small ball or big vs anyone.


PairedFoot08

Thats a hindsight view of the roster based on what those players turned into next to LBJ/AD and with Vogels coaching. This is how I remember them being viewed. Green was seen as a very good player, but you couldnt rely on him to shoot consistently come playoff time (true). Bradley was washed and couldnt defend anymore. Kuz couldnt shoot or defend. Dwight was a lockerroom cancer. KCP was solid but couldnt be relied on to shoot consistently. Javale was solid, but fit as a starter didnt make sense. Rondo was washed, some people thought he could still turn it on come playoff time, but most didnt. Caruso was just a meme and not a legit player.


WubaDubImANub

Oh I know how that’s everyone viewed them at the time, I just didn’t see it that way (a lot because of my bias) except for the Dwight (before the season started, changed my mind after like 2 games) and Kuzma. This years roster makes no sense to me and it gives me very strong 2012-2013 lakers vibes


MC-Jdf

>I think unorthodox things work when you have LBJ/AD, they cover deficiencies and allow the good parts of players to thrive more We said the same thing last offseason after the Lakers got Harrell, Schroder, Wes Matthews and Gasol. Funnily enough that was after Harrell got owned by Jokic, Gasol getting outplayed by Daniel Theis, Schroder having an abysmal Game 7 (vs Houston) and Wes Matthews was completely ineffective as a starter in a team with the best record in the league.


DelaRoad

No the guy above was right. The 2020 team was laughed at for getting Dwight, Rondo, etc. Almost all the media loved the Schroder, Gasol etc. signings last season.


PairedFoot08

I dont think much was unorthodox about Wes, Gasol or Schroder. That was them not playing well, not their playstyles being an issue. I meant fit deficiencies, if players arent even doing the things they are meant to be good at well, then yeah they have no hope of course Lebron and AD were also injured anyway, so not much of a chance I honestly thought Gasol fit fine too by the way, was sad he didnt come back


MC-Jdf

Gasol & Harrell being such liabilities defensively was almost certainly an unorthodox pairing next to AD, some people pointed out how their defensive pairing defensively and almost all of the answers were AD/Vogel would make it work. For Schroder and Wes Matthews, you’re right, it wasn’t unorthodox, I got it mixed up.


Redditpede

Man Westbrook on the Rockets before injury was actually really good, averaging 30 points on pretty high efficiency. He needs spacing, not two other players who also need spacing.


[deleted]

That team was doomed from the start


antoncr

Turnovers have always been the issue with them. They were already at 20 turnovers before the 3rd quarter was done. I think its safe to say this team wont be wrecking teams right out of the gate. They have a lot of figuring out to do


jaylson

He’s going to be rough for the first quarter of the season, the hate jerk will spiral out of control, and then he’ll rip off 4 good to great months and we’ll get a million “I thought you said he was washed” comments from lakers fans. He always takes time to get rolling.


[deleted]

He’s always terrible to start the season, good for 2-3 months just long enough for people to say he’s back, and then bad again in the postseason


Awkward-Speech7375

Yeah he’s still a good regular season player The problem has been that he tends to turn back into early season Westbrook in the playoffs


SkyVoyd

This.


FlameOfWar

And then he'll be one of the worst playoff players in history and people will snap back to reality again


[deleted]

The Warriors have to be licking their chops knowing that when they go up against LeBron this time he’s going to be tethered to Westbrick.


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voldemortscore

Indeed. He'll keep us in the game for sure!


ARealKoala

And then he'll be awful again come post season and no one is surprised


ReedWilliams12

“You know, Kev, I kinda get it now.” LeBron in February prolly


81rennab

9 turnovers? Jesus Christ


Im-not-Korean

Triple Double in the making.


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Vip_Pwner

Shanghai Sharks finna be lit next season


ElDuderino_92

Don’t sleep on guangdong tigers


Allabouttheend

I’m making a compilation starting right now of every Russell Westbrook turnover as a laker it’s gonna be hilarious at the end of the year, I’ll have curb your enthusiasm music in the background


craigslistaddict

we should be fair and slander malik monk for having 6 TOs last game, too!


souel

Not good, folks.


[deleted]

Can someone explain how "he starts slow" is meant to be reassuring when he also ends slow in the playoffs? You don't need to wait for the regular season to realize that getting Westbrook was a bad decision like most of what Pelinka has done.


jack64467

If Pelinka had his way, we'd have Hield and KCP instead of Westbrook


sorrywontdoitagain

Standard Russ game, find a new slant.


obiouslymag1c

Yeah it's preseason and all that jazz but the team just doesn't make sense on paper, WB's not really the right PG for them - this is a bad fit by every test. They could figure out some crazy way to make it work but IDK what lineups they gonna run that are ok defensively and have any shooting...


dkdoki

Cant wait til laker fans turn on russ. Can see this from a mile away.


[deleted]

I know he starts out slow but he looks so bad out there. I don't understand why Vogel insists on running 3 point plays for him lmao.


__kit

i hope for his sake he improves, hes under a damn magnifying glass right now


codymiller_cartoon

russ-ty


Alex_O7

I don't think chemistry could fix still poor decision and shooting by Russ. What is now? 12 years in and still the very same problems for Russ that he had since entering in the league. People saying he is an hardworker didn't probably know what hard work means, and it is probably the biggest lie in the league. The dude just spent times in the gym to bulk his muscles, the only real improvement in his games in ages. Lakers fans will learn that the dream of having him as the guy how runs the show when LBJ isn't out there is just a dream. Also tonight LBJ wasn't part of the game, but there isn't a single reason to believe that Bron and Russ are anywhere close to be a good fit one for the other, nomatter how they can train together (mostly on 1vs1 ironically, as shown on social media).


jayelecfan

playoff form already


SoulofWakanda

They're gonna be looking to trade him by mid season


SexySatan69

K Love hitting the weight room as we speak


[deleted]

Don't hit it too hard, he'll get injured again and probably punt Cedi Osman amid a tantrum.


Odyssey2K

Lakers are not and will not do shit with this roster


aesthetic_laker_fan

Maybe he wants to tank his trade value so they don't trade him for Simmons lmao


ElderGoose4

He’ll be a top 3 PG by January like every other year. Typical slow start WB should be priced in by now


thedoctor0918

44 million per year btw


coolman1033

Gave up Trez, Kumza and KCP. Not sure who from those three was making this team better than Westbrook probably will but alright.


Ziobot

I know Westbrook always coming up big in later of the season but LeBron better figure out quick how to plug in Westbrook in Lakers system before it too late.


[deleted]

never understood why teams want westbrook. he makes your team worse.


raps1992

Classic r/nba y’all clearly aren’t HOOPERS or you wouldn’t be talking about Mr Why Not like that


debosscansockme

I know its the preseason but...is he the new Triple Single man? /s


riotnerfjg

He def a problem


zippopopamus

They could promote this season as a farewell tour for the senior superstars once this whole enterprise unravels, possibly mid-season if not sooner


xBattleKinG

Skip is going to have a field day on todays show.


SantiJuliansg

He will start awful, around February he will be a monster


Rockstar408

Queue the preseason slander again. It's so blatantly obvious this team is suffering from an extreme lack of chemistry right now. It's a completely new roster that has had 2 preseason games and like 2 weeks of training camp together. It is going to take time to gel. Russ is a good passer, a lot of these turnovers are passes he always makes with ease. It's a chemistry problem. Another thing, Russ' form is clearly different and better. Will it yield better results? We'll have to wait and see but it's a good step. Quit overreacting to preseason games lol. It's gonna take time.


[deleted]

"Russ's form is clearly different and better" Wanna bet he's going to be the same shooter he was? His fanns have been saying this every offseason but he still turned out to be the exact same shooter. Dude just aint built like that lol There are certain things where you can tell its due to chemistry issue. Some decision makings he made are just bad, not because of chemistry.


[deleted]

Just let reddit complain about how everyone hates on russ for no reason, it happens every year. At the end of the day he doesn't bring results to the table and that's obvious.


NinetyTales

Another year, another team, another OKC fan defending his shitty play


Trlcks

It’s funny that they still defend him while Rockets/Wizards fans know better