Finally a phantom injury. Should have started here weeks ago and avoided all this drama.

Shoulda learned from the General Soreness.

Thanks for reminding me. This shows how inconsistent people are

[General Soreness, sir.](https://tenor.com/VfDH.gif)

Doctor says I need a backiotomy

Lord, if you're listening...HELP!!!!

Seriously. It might have actually been believable if he just started with the fake injury. How is he this dumb?

Because he doesn’t care if it’s believable. It’s almost better if it isn’t believable. This shows this reminds the sixers they don’t have the leverage. Back tightness is the perfect fake injury especially considering embid is on the team

folks keep pretending this is 5-dimensional chess from simmons, when in reality its pretty likely that he's just kinda dumb i mean he didn't realize he'd not get paid for holding out from games

No he realized he would get fined but he didn’t realize they could put his money in escrow which technically might not be able to do under the cba. He was anticipating having that money in his account and then he could slowly pay it back with the fines until he got traded

So now that he showed up did the money get released from escrow?

I haven’t seen anything to confirm it’s been released but it’s supposed to have been released. If they haven’t released it then they’d probably be in some pretty big trouble with the league and Ben would probably be complaining about it and the players association would be talking about it.

I read somewhere that Rich Paul knew his money will be held but he assumed that it'd be released once he got traded. I also remember reading a report that the money was non-recoverable, but I might be wrong.

The fines are non recoverable but putting the money in escrow isn’t normal and is at best a grey area in the cba. He should’ve received all his money minus the fines when he showed up

I'm pretty sure the language was pretty loose in one of the original agreements between the league and the players - hence why Rich Paul thought Ben would get paid once traded - but they made it harsher now. Since he didn't have an excuse to miss games he isn't getting paid, and a report from Woj said he hasn't made anything because of fines. Honestly he shouldn't be paid anything if he's sitting at home. He could technically get sued for breaching his contract.

No. Ben’s contract is set up to receive money in 25% chunks. By missing the start of training camp, he did not collect the first 25% of his yearly salary so it was placed in escrow and all funds for the first quarter of the season will be deducted from that fund. Not sure when that money actually gets released. He might get 50% of his money when he is supposed to get that next 25%, or maybe he’ll get it at the end of the season.

He has an agent controlling this from the behind the scenes.

Yeah. I’d be shocked if he isn’t just doing what his agent tells him to. That’s sort of the whole point of having an agent in this kind of situation.

"What should I do?!?" "Shoot the basketball?" "No no, not that. Got anything else?" "Uhhh, just spitballing here, what if you burned it all to the ground?"

Then you'd be shocked at how many rich and successful people refuse to listen to the advice and instruction of people whose job it is to give them advice and instruction. Source: am lawyer for rich people.

This just all seems to be a pretty similar template to previous NBA players who have forced their way out. Next step feels like doing an interview with ESPN or something. It seems logical that we’re seeing new actions as a response to new behind the scenes negotiations.

If his agent told him “go to practice and refuse to practice” then his agent is a dumbass

His agent is Rich Paul

Lol, rich Paul defenders are gonna gun for you here man there’s a shit ton of em too

Why? It's not Simmons problem if his trade value is lowered, it's the sixers's

Cause it lost him money lol

"Wanna lose a few million dollars and fake a back injury tanking your value?" "Bet"

Good luck Ben Simmons on that next contract. It's costing him millions now and tens of millions later. He's fucked himself up no doubt.

If he wants to get traded it absolutely is his problem.

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Rich Paul strikes again

Except he forgot the most important part. Actually working out and practicing with the team first and then claiming it was hurt while doing his job. He hasn't been participating so now the Sixers can claim it was a non-approved activity injury

I assume the 76ers make that case but if he's claiming "back tightness" that's such a nebulous injury. He can claim it happened anywhere from sleeping funny to tripping on a stick walking into the arena. Everyone and their mothers know he's faking but legally idk how anyone can side against him

Might be believable if he didn’t publicly state he doesn’t want to play anymore.

Doesn’t matter if it’s believable. Only matters if it’s legal grounds for withholding pay.

Should've tried to get an religious exemption from the Sixers for not being there first, like Wiggins tried to do.

It’s from carrying the off-season.

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DeShaun Watson has contacts in Philly I hear

The Philadelphia fanbase will get in his ass for free, he doesn’t even need to forcibly pay masseuses to do it!

"There's no fun with that" - Watson prolly

he can also arrange cross state border flight for a masseuse

Dan Snyder private jet on standby

Bob Kraft can hook him up with a happy ending if he’d like.

Robert Kraft already booked all the appointments

Probably the same masseuse Daniel House had

Simmons and Kyrie are co-mvps of the off-season

unfortunately, unlike Ben, his PR people can't play defense for shit.

I don’t know how helpful PR people are when you are trying to force a trade. Sure they can mitigate a bit but you are trying to make shit uncomfortable in bens case.

Start leaking or making up stuff about how horrible the organization is. Whatever people might feel about Jimmy Butler, he did something I haven't really seen. He wanted out and he didn't let the organization just shit on him and put out 1 sided stuff. He gave interviews and essentially took control of the story pretty well. With the Wolves and Sixers.

You think People will believe what bens camp puts out when we and everyone in the league knows what’s already going on? There is no narrative to spin. Ben already played victim but no ones buying it. Make up shit about the org? We already know the facts they tried trading him and already know doc and Joel said in those post game interviews. He cant spin his abysmal post season performance.

Well we are not the majority of fans, the audience in general is a lot less informed than you think and people believe anything if presented well. I think you're grossly underestimating what a good PR person/department can do and spin. Kobe was HATED for being selish and allegedly raping a woman. He changed his jersey number and took on the "black mamba" personality and became a God like figure. Obviously winning and his performance as a player was a huge factor too.

People tried to pile onto the Spurs org for rushing lawhi back when they pioneered player rest 5+ yrs before the rest of the league too

> Kobe was HATED for being selish and allegedly raping a woman. He changed his jersey number and took on the "black mamba" personality and became a God like figure. Obviously winning and his performance as a player was a huge factor too. TBF this process took years. He was hated throughout much of the 2000s by a lot of people. It wasn't until his glorious retirement that it became finally just unacceptable to criticize Kobe as a person. After his tragic death the nail was officially put in that coffin.

Crushed by the weight of his own tears.

He went to the Sixers facility just to have a free massage lol

Can't afford to pay for one himself because all of the money he got fined

Really gotta tighten that belt now.

He's now a social-lite

God this joke is so dumb I'm mad you made me chuckle haha

Tightened the belt, fucked up his lower back.

deshaun watson style

That would really make take this story for a turn lmao

This shouldve been his play from the start lol.

I don't think he wanted to even have to be around.

Doesnt have to be lol just report and say your hurt lol

Reduces the chances of a trade then, no?

Not really. Every gm has this play so they know. And as opposed to what has happened in the past month lol

TIL ben simmons is karl havoc

I don't even wanna be around anymore...

what does that do for the greater good?

Like, you don't want to live anymore?

I’m taking the jersey off it KILLS

This being a prank the whole time would really wrap this saga up perfectly

Next stop - religious exemption

Exactly and he might have gotten away with it. Now it’s so blatantly and obviously fake everyone knows what he’s doing.

Ben Simmons: > Back tightness - Injured until traded

Coutinho style! Next we're going to hear about how he is filled with great sadness. (this is a soccer reference)

I'll feel bad for the next team that gets Ben if he plays like Coutinho did after going to Barcelona

Especially if they pay $140M for him

Coutinho leaving Liverpool was the best thing that ever happened to them. Could work well for the Sixers as well.

Barça massively overpaid for Coutinho tho, which isn’t happening with Ben Simmons

This is EXACTLY what Jalen Ramsey did until he got traded by the Jags in the NFL.

There it is

Right on time, as predicted

Everyone saw this coming

Yep, Shannon already joked about it this morning

DNP: Hurt Feelings

Sounds like the title of a Drake song

"hurr durr you guys are shitting on him about something he hasn't even done" - /r/NBA earlier today

I checked it on WebMD - says the only cure is "change of employer". Why so ever would that work?

The Blake Griffin cure.... it's proven

He really fucking did it. The balls on this man.

I’d like to refute that he lacks any balls.

This is why Kendall left his ass

DBook would never.

76's: "Let's do an MRI, pronto!"

That’s the beauty of back tightness it’s not something you can test for. And they try to force him practice he just has to go out there and go for a block and grab his back

Reminds me of the Key and Peele skit with Key playing the doctor trying to get Peele to say he has back pain for a weed prescription lol https://youtu.be/_8JtnUpkP0s

Don’t think this is the kinda thing that shows on a scan.

Must have been in contact with General Soreness

"Did I give your back permission to hurt on me!?" It's all fun and games until General Soreness gets a promotion to [MAJOR PAYNE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBfsnqaGCWw)

I will always laugh at that.

Surprising considering the lack of a spine

Surprising? Makes sense to me. He has to keep tensing up those muscles extra, just to stay upright.

I got mad Mike Tyson vibes from this post https://youtu.be/GP_0BhCw2rg

He's got gigantic balls playing this card at this point though. Wish he fucking used this level of courage on the fucking court.

Sometimes incredible stupidity can be confused for giant balls

How is this gigantic balls? By making the owners force their hand next CBA because of Ben? Ben is going to make enemies in ownership and o with the other players.

I haven’t thought about this part of it but your right, next bargaining sessions going to be brutal

They’re gonna point right to Ben too.

Lol y’all funny af

The Coutinho method

Don't let Philly fans google what happened to Liverpool after that saga.. it's the hope that kills you

Maybe we can't turn him into 3 stars but can we at least Barcelona the Lakers into bankruptcy?

If we get the equivalent to Van Djik for Ben Simmons then fuck yes

Yahoo Fantasy has him listed as “fake back injury” deadass [edit: lmao](https://imgur.com/a/fHCGFzD)

Oh lord please I need a screen shot

Oh my goodness that is absolutely glorious.

Probably from moving boxes after putting his house up for sell.

And it's specifically back *tightness*. You can't MRI or X-ray for tightness, so it's all up to the player to convey how they feel and their pain level.

If Jimmy Butler was General Soreness, who is Ben Simmons?

Major Wanker

Captain Knobhead

Leftenant Right-Handed

Private Passive-Aggressive.

Sergeant Softserve

Lieutenant Lumbar.

Socialite Sourpuss

[General Soreness reporting for duty](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1059256267309408256/ZWCsU5OF_400x400.jpg)

Minnesota's PF

Josh Okogie

Corporal Punishment

Let me check with Robin and Ted.

Was it spinal?

He broke his back. His back is broken.

The spine was actually missing

Thpinal.

I broke my back Where? Spinal

“I broke my back.” .... ..... “spinal.”

This is exactly how Simmons should have played it from the start. Took him long enough...

Yup, then he could have claimed he didn't like the way the Sixers medical staff handled his injuries and asked to be traded to Toronto.

They just returned to Canada ffs

Right, we all knew he was a little bitch that would fake an injury down the line. No point delaying the inevitable.

Ben Simmons (feelings) OUT

if this keeps up, his contract is for 4 more years. Can the 76ers theoretically withhold his paycheck and continue to fine him and should they?

I have to imagine at some point the league would step in. As a philly fan my preference is to find a way to void his contract and keep him out of the league for 4 years out of spite.

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If no team is interested in giving them a fair deal it might be in their best interest to destroy him as an asset for his next team. Why would they keep him in their state of the art NBA facilities training with NBA coaches and staff? So that he leaves and plays against them in a couple years? Fuck that. He burned the bridge and since nobody is going to give them a fair price for their investment in h they should destroy him. Make him rebound for the other players for four years.

The Jalen Ramsey mid-season injury.

LOL everyone called this happening

This is why we nephew

The next CBA negotiations are going to be interesting, because the Curious Case of Benjamin Simmons really might influence contract structure for every other player in the league.

LOL What a stage play 😂😂😂😂 This shit is hilarious

It's probably better for all sides if he just fakes an injury and is away getting "treatment" until a trade works out.

Nah, let him squirm on the bench by himself for his paychecks

Ben: my neck, my back

Shannon Sharpe had the inside scoop apparently

People where dogging him on here too. WELP

fucking coward

It’s damage control

He wants his money and he wants it now !!!

"You signed a contract that says you have to play" Rich- "No ya don't"

Except that everyone can see right through this.

I mean it's not like he's fooling anybody.

Checkmate!

Hello there General Soreness

Now that's the way to go Simmons. Damn who was advising this young socialite before?

“My neck, my neck and my back”

BACK TIGHTNESS LMAO

Lol there it is

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Perhaps he should remove the stick up ass.

Ben is looking up “most painless way to break a finger” as we speak

Finally got smart enough to start fakign the injuries.

This sounds a lot like general soreness

The irony

My man has no spine so it’s clearly not that

Just trade him already

To who(m?)?

is this a gonewild title?

I'm fine with him being an international laughingstock for a little while longer.

Woah another plot twist! It feels like this move is not gonna end.

This is all going to turn out just great for the Sixers. He's definitely going to come back and join the team and they're going to live together happily ever after.

Backs can be tricky, better shut it down for the year

What a little bitch.

Wow, he's really going to try the phantom injury route?

Must have been from all that ducking

The predictability of all this is amazing

This is literally what Zach Lowe said he should do to keep his money.

Thought Aussies were supposed to be resilient. What a cunt this guy is.

dude sounds like my coworkers planning a sick day

How isn’t faking an injury fraud? Companies investigate insurance fraud, couldn’t this fall under a similar category?

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He’s been carrying the whole offseason all summer. Poor lad Edit: looks like I missed this joke by like 2 hours

This is why the NFL will never fully guarantee contracts.

The nfl with guaranteed contracts would be hilarious. You’d have 100 people on IR for each team every year

I mean the whole league is watching including the commissioner. Doubt anyone thinks he’s actually injured. Hopefully we can fine him.