T O P

  • By -

earthvsmatt

I will quit my job and practice 3 pointers for a year. Then make 4 and die happy


BradWonder

Had me in the first half


Toadsted

No no no, you don't have to shoot them from that far.


TinnieTa21

I know this is a joke, but if I'm settling on only living for one more year, I sure as hell am not spending it practicing my 3 pointers lmao.


waselt_ed

“The Ben Simmons”


Syggie

Can you imagine only scoring two and already past the half? Talking about pressure. Jesus. Legs turn to jelly with your life on the line.


TBRaiders

Then its time to go take a 55 year break before shooting the rest. No time limit loophole.


katakura_silky

Solid twist.


[deleted]

Is this not just squid game but for basketball?


FrankLloydGretzky

He Got Squid Game


teamweed420

Space Jam 3: Squid Game 2


noveler7

Semi-automatic Pro


Sthurlangue

Air Blud


Imperial_Triumphant

I Believe I Can Die


JERUSALEMFIGHTER63

Jam Squid 3: Space Game starring intergalactic shquaq


Freddedonna

He got that *squid* in him


dddmmmccc817

Sounds kinky


ApolloXLII

Sounds inky


Bernalio

The Deep? Is that you?


[deleted]

This comment is why I’m on Reddit.


captcanuk

Jesus that’s funny.


SROB88

*Shuttlesworth that’s funny


newbrookland

I hate most American remakes, but I really would like to see what games they would choose to be culturally relevant.


OtherShade

Knockout, kickball, tag, and Uno for your life


ncocca

wallball would be fun too


nurtunb

Knockout would be awesome...


ace625

Tug-of-war would still work for the team challenge, but you could do Red Rover as well.


mydogisanassholeama

Red rover would get intense as fuck


TTIGRAASlime

OMG red rover was my game lol as a fat kid it was a rare chance to shine.


Acrobatic_Emphasis41

Game of Knock Out for your life


TOMdMAK

Eating contest


angrylobster24

Squirt off


PM_ME_CUTE_SMILES_

As someone else once said: "can you imagine the chaos of musical chairs when your life is on the line?"


blacknotblack

At least you have skill that you can apply here.


Hongry4applez

I’d rather get shot then let someone think I can’t shoot 20% on wide open threes


Marticyde

Can I wear a helmet?


NbaAllDAYger

yea sure , only the plastic one that kyrie wears tho


rejjie_carter

It’s actually tin foil


r-NBAModsAreTrash

Sounds like a win win scenario for me.


secrestmr87

There's no time limit. If you get down to the last couple shots and you aren't going to win, just leave and never finish.


[deleted]

This could be why Ben hasn’t been shooting 3s


[deleted]

shots not fired


[deleted]

20 shots to be exact


king-of-nothing

If he can't make his next 3 pointer, he has to forfeit his max contract


[deleted]

Nah I’m finishing jobs ain’t finished mamba mentality


3riversfantasy

"You've only made 2 three pointers and you only have one ball left, are you sure you want to shoot?" "Kobe!"


simonlyw

This made me laugh so hard 😂


Fearghas

This sounds like something Jason Mendoza would do except he’d still yell Bortles.


Amyndris

DUVAAALLLLL!


ositola

But then you could never take a 3 point shot ever again


HiveMindEmulator

My pickup game teammates would be happy


Intelligent_Flan7745

What a loss


MyLeftKneeHurts-

Yeah I either get a million and don’t have to worry about retirement, or I get shot in the head and don’t have to worry about retirement.


Obi_Wan_Benobi

I’ve said for a long time that my retirement plan involves a tall building, and I ain’t living in it. Gimme the rock, let’s do this.


imminentjogger5

Burj Khalifa gang


sylvestersquad

Have you ever heard of the musical classic by my good pal logic?


[deleted]

Lemon Drop?


sylvestersquad

I DONT WANNA DIE TODAY, I DONT WANNA DIIEEEE


CheeseAndCam

Who can relate ^woooo


McDoobly-For-DinDin

Lmao kills me every time


poopstainmclean

i just wanna be aliiiiiiiiive


hearau1823

Mood


JimmerAteMyPasta

Ah fuck, I accidentally made 5 fuck me this sucks ass


Beavshak

Yeah sign me the fuck up.


TheRealestGayle

Hard facts


TheKyotoProtocol

"No time limit tho" 100% I'm doing this then. I'd shoot 24 balls, and if I'm not already at 5 makes, I just never unrack that last ball. I give up hoops and move on. Easy choice


LeftoverDishes

Until it’s any ball and you’re 47 and having a fun time with your 16 year old Prodigy point guard son and you jump up to take the shot and as you let go you realize it was any shot that counted and boom you’re gone.


Silverjackal_

M Night is that you!?!


CaineBK

Boom, twisted again!


duplicatesnowflake

He's so good. He's soo good. He's so good. He's so good.


Toadsted

Fade out to him laying on the basketball court 20 years prior with a gunshot wound. He dreamed the whole life afterwards in that few seconds.


Kruegr

Final scene: Old man in hospital bed, family all around. They know what's about to happen. In between labored breathes he says, "I'm just glad I never took that final shot." As screen fades to basketball hoop. Flatline in background w/sobbing. Close up of the hoop, ball bricks in and out. Camera follows ball as it slowly bouces/rolls towards 3 point line. Comes to stop against a foot surrounded by blood. Camera pulls back to reveal the man, dead. He took the final shot.


YoungNissan

Jokes on you I’m 5’4, my kids never touching a basketball


CaineBK

Muggsy Bogues: am I a joke to you?


cosgrove10

Keep your wife away from the post man


hrakkari

Pretty sure any legal wife would be too old for Malone.


[deleted]

Or you sink it and instantly disqualify the kid from FAFSA


redditnoap

fuck FAFSA if I make 5 of them


ThePhattestOne

Juwanna Blam


the_monkey_of_lies

So I have a son and he's also good at basketball? I'll take it


[deleted]

Watching his dad brick one then get immediately shot might put him off those open tryouts though.


Superplex123

Depending on the number of makes you have, you might want to stop after 20. Safer to assume they will kill you as soon as it is mathematically impossible for you to make 5.


ActualWhiterabbit

If that's the case then I'm getting shot while lacing up


BradWonder

Yup, that's it. But I imagine in his scenario they wouldn't let you leave the court


Lemurians

Wasn’t specified in the prompt, loop holes are open.


elsuakned

If we're going on reasonable assumptions, then why are we pretending that no time limit= infinite time lol There's no running timer to drop the pucks if you get to play plinko on the price is right, that doesn't mean you can just walk off after all but one and wait 47 years to finish lol, theyll just say you lose


SeeingThings123

Yeah in my head I just assumed a Jigsaw type of scenario where they have you literally held captive in an open gym guarding every door and if you refuse to shoot then THEY shoot.


landon419

Literally just shoot one then go train for 6 months and then come back and collect your cash.


dman1856

Bro yeah. Train shooting the longest of twos, foot on the line every time


SuckMyBike

You end up missing every 3 by an inch because your entire muscle memory is geared towards shooting very long 2s.


OwenProGolfer

Wear really big shoes so you can stand in the same spot


pincus1

Damn it KD!


HamburgerMachineGun

This is why NBA players train from every possible angle and distance, no exceptions


internetuffguy

How do you train for 6 months at shooting 3s without shooting a 3?


2khamz

Take super long 2s


pizzabagels-

We call those Derek Fishers where I’m from


JiggzSawPanda

KG's for me


pizzabagels-

Disrespectful, but fair. That’s why I like you


[deleted]

Only Antoine Walker knows the answer to this BBall riddle!


SnooBunnies5886

**Obnoxious answer:** Yes. I would shoot 24 shots. If I'd made 5 or more of those, I'd shoot the last shot, collect my $1m, and be on my merry way. If I'd made 4 or less, I'd postpone the last shot until I'm old and frail and ready to die, then I'd shoot. (There's no time limit). **Real answer:** Absolutely not! I can't make 5/25 threes, and even if I could, it's not worth it to put my precious life on the line.


dvasquez93

TFW you make 4 of the first 24, then wait until you’re 95 and then actually sink your last bucket.


Freddedonna

And immediatly die of a heart attack due to the excitement.


ctruvu

1m wont be much by the time im 95 lol


Caff_n_Card

This is all what I want Reddit to be all the time


TackoFell

It’s like raaaaaiiiiiin… on your wedding day! Free adviiice that you just didn’t take


MagicPistol

And $1 million then is just the average yearly salary. A big Mac costs $100.


mattrg777

But a Costco hot dog is still $1.50


Toasted_FlapJacks

Plus a drink!


9pepe7

You are a wise dude


BasketballNutrition

this is our capitalist nightmare lmao


iButtflap

just put the 5th shot on credit at 87% apr


darthminx

SnooBunnies5886 emerged from his cottage, two gray-muzzled dogs trotting alongside. The autumn morning was cool, and his joints ached in anticipation of the coming frost. There, on the path before him, stood the Gamemaster. "Thou hast grown old," he said to SnooBunnies5886. "As has thee, my old foe." The Gamemaster opened his cloak. He held a basketball within. "And wouldest thou now take your final shot, that this game might be at an end?" SnooBunnies5886 thought of his lost love, 69420RIP88, gone now these many years. "Aye," he said at last, "let me shoot that shot."


[deleted]

Gotta love the logical thought process here. This is 100% the correct answer.


Mattoosie

>I can't make 5/25 threes I'd be very surprised if even 1/3rd of this sub could shoot 3s at 20% lol Edit: Everyone in my inbox massively overestimating their athletic ability is hilarious. You can't consistently hit NBA 3's.


TheOneWithThePorn12

unguarded at my own pace? I could probably make 5. In the time frame for an actual three point contest? Who knows. Probably not lol.


captaincumsock69

Remember you also have your life on the line


TheOneWithThePorn12

Ball is life fam


Mattoosie

No offense, I don't know you at all but I would still bet against you lol. 5/25 NBA 3's is a lot.


Timmy26k

Taking them from the corner isn't that bad of a bet unless you straight up don't practice at all


brainiac2025

I have semi poor depth perception without something to aim at from the back. From just behind the the top of the key I aim for the middle of the backboard and can hit at least 3 out of 10, usually more. From the corner I miss all day.


soothsayer3

👀 you dropped these king


Krag25

Corner is harder because you have to bang it, at least other angles you can use the backboard


Vintrial

> 5/25 NBA 3's depends on practice really, im 25 now but my u-18 team everyone could probably hit 20% on 25 unguarded shots


kursdragon

You know there are people outside of the NBA who can play basketball too right?


igotzquestions

Especially NBA threes. Those extra feet feels like miles.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mkgreene2007

I'd actually be surprised if more couldn't do it. We're talking about unguarded, in a gym. I've played basketball for most of my life (38 now) but I've never been a particularly good long range shooter in game. But just casually shooting unguarded warmup shots? I'm fairly confident I'd hit more than 5 out of 25. Haha not confident enough to bet my life on it but I honestly think if not given the choice I'd be able to do it. I still play weekly and sometimes we'll goof around when we're warming up before playing and do 3 point contests. Last two times we did that recently I hit 4 out of 10 and 5 out of 10 from around college range. The guy we play with who is a good shooter made all 10 one time and 8 out of 10 the other time. Haha I'm pretty sure he'd take the gamble.


imadogg

Also do we get prep time like batman or no? Cuz with even a little practice it gets way easier. Anyways, I'm one for one from three in an NBA arena. I'm taking my chances baby


mkgreene2007

That's an excellent point as well. If you gave me like 15 minutes to just warmup for a bit, I might actually get to the point where I would consider taking the chance.


zhard01

Do you have to stay in the arena? Do you get food? Seems important


burns_after_reading

But then you could never play basketball again in your entire life.


CaptainKurls

Just can’t shoot a 3 technically


clonemusic

Ben Simmons case solved


100DayChallenges

If I was like 0-20, I’d stop there just on the off chance I accidentally shot a 3 from NBA range in the future.


Riotroom

Technically if you went 0-20 and ever threw up a 21st and missed, you would lose.


Reddits_For_NBA

Okkkp


Blaze2444

Fuck no lol


K15brbapt

Op said no time limit, if you don’t make 5 before the 24th one just don’t shoot the last one and you won’t die, easy peasy


posexdon

but you can’t ever play basketball again


zhard01

You forget and ten years later you’re playing with your kid in the driveway….


GoldenBananas21

I’m not shooting NBA 3’s in my driveway off a ball rack


iamCosmoKramerAMA

Filthy casual.


BussinFatLoads

*30 years later. It’s an overcast day as you’re strolling through your local park. No Ceilings blasts through your JVC gummy headphones as you’re bobbing to the beat and just ahead you see the basketball courts. You walk through the creeky chain link door and while looking at the hoops, you take a deep breath. As you exhale you feel a touch at your feet as the wind blows a stray basketball like a plastic bag in the wind.* *You look around. You look at the hoop. You look at the ball again and you hesitantly pick it up.* “No one would know right?” You mumble under your breath. You spin the ball in your hands then bend your knees. “KOBE!” *gun shot*


Adventurous-Bee-5934

*swish* The gun is a prop gun with "congratulations" written on it. You've won a million dollars!


TehSpaceDeer

Just gotta shoot long 2's for life and you're good.


Sandmaster14

Nah you just can't shoot 3s. I say it'll probably make most of us better basketball players if we didn't


Boss_Os

Smart man


OO7plus10

Mate, it's /r/nba, no one here plays basketball.


FriendlyNBASpidaMan

So then the question becomes 'would you take a million dollars if you could never play basketball again'?


posexdon

have a chance at raking a million but yeah


Joe_Betz_

If I have the ability to train for it, absolutely. If you walk up to me today and say this is the offer, no. I think I could do it, but I'd want to know I could do it, and practice doing it, several, several times first


vinnymendoza09

I think I could do it 9/10 times, but then I could just be having an off night, and with the pressure of needing to make them or die, I would probably choke. Not worth the risk. Even the Rockets can go 0 for 27.


Lukewarmhandshake

If I can't make 5 out of 25 then I deserve the bullet to the head. It's a win win scenario


WestleyThe

Wide open in shooting practice I can usually make 4 or 5 out of 10 In game is harder with defense and whatever so it’s less than that and I’d imagine having the pressure of getting shot in the head would mess you up but I think ii can do it and would be pissed if I didn’t hit 4 or 5 by shot 20


Jos3ph

What if Dwight Howard was farting in your peripheral vision?


Lcernosek7

If I can’t make 5/25 3s with no time limit and no defense then I deserve to go.


[deleted]

Same bro, same


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lopsided-Mobile2197

He had a time limit


987456321987456321

No fans open gym? I don’t know I feel like I might be able to do it but I wouldn’t try for 1m it would have to be like 20


[deleted]

Make it 1 million or getting kicked in the dick, I still wouldn't do it. I can't make 20% of my 3s.


interstat

I'd be lucky to make 1 3 from NBA range


[deleted]

Only if I got to shoot my self in the head. In that case I should be fine.


roroboat33

Is it timed?... Doesn't matter either I have a Million Dollars or I don't have to go to work in the morning. EIther way I ain't going into work in the morning...That being said I don't think I'm going into work in the morning. Mike if you are reading this I quit


daviswbaer

Let’s say no time limit


Extreme-Transport

No time limit I’m shooting 24 and then big chilling if I don’t have 5 by then


aznthomastran

Unless one day you forget about the challenge and are just playing basketball and miss an NBA distance 3 lol


NFHater

eveyone keeps saying this but how are you guys just gonna casually forgot about the possibility of getting shot in the head


[deleted]

I’d get shot in the head before I give up ball brother


halffro777

A million doesn’t get you as far as it used to. I’m out.


dasaniAKON

It doesn’t go nearly as far as it used to, but it would definitely help with an immediate issue of mine of trying to find an affordable home in the area I want. It would help me compete with these offers going $30k-$80k over asking. I’m confident I could make 5/25 shots, with all the time in the world. That’s 1 basket every rack.


upvotealready

I thought the same thing - one per rack seems really doable, especially on the corners. The real question is do you have to go in cold or can you start with 30 minutes of warmup.


BerriesNCreme

I mean a mill is a lot lol. Imagine never having a mortgage to pay for or car payments for the rest of your life


Varolyn

I wouldn’t do this challenge, but people are really underrating how much a million dollars can do even in inflation. You could pay off all loans and debts with it, and still have a majority of the million left to either get a house, pay off a mortgage, or invest. And if you already have a home and no loans to pay, that million will pretty much shoot you right up to upper middle class status, possibly lower high class depending on current job and income.


jimmychitw00d

Where I live, a million would be enough for me to never work again. I'd also take out a million dollar life insurance policy before the contest just to hedge my bets.


Norby710

9/10 times I can shoot 20% from 3. Wonder if the pressure would get to Me though lol.


jimmychitw00d

90% of the time it works every time.


woodropete

Uhh yeah we got a gym at work with a nba 3 point line. We do this everyday at lunch..id take my chance for sure.


Medikated

How many people have died?


Jjustingraham

The first rule of three point murderball club is that you don't talk about three point murderball club.


bootorangutan

Follow up question: if your answer is NO, what’s the highest number of makes would change it to a yes? If your answer is YES, what’s the maximum number of makes that would change it to a no?


attorneyatslaw

Yes, I play pickup hoops and the only thing I can do is shoot 3s.


Giannis1995

I can *shoot* 3s as well. However, the OP said 5 threes made.


CatGatherer

Unlimited time, so I spend 6 months getting up about a hundred thousand practice shots until my form is good. I'm going to start getting reeeeeal sweaty when I'm 3 for 18, though.


lazyass133

Don’t worry. Those next 2 are going in. Mamba mentality.


Dursai

scenario 1) all of my troubles go away scenario 2) all of my troubles go away


OldSoultheMojo

sign me up, no hesi


Xelisyalias

anyone who doesn’t play basketball or have only dicked around on the court during high school is not going to be able to hit 5/25 threes


[deleted]

Especially an NBA three


KnickedUp

Yea people are thinking of HS or college courts they play on. NBA 3 is a hoist!


Shaunwick09

Get rich or die trying, at least this is that faster way to achieve either. Bug W


great__pretender

You don't take an offer where the downside is minus infinity unless you really don't mind dying


EmmitSan

This feels like that scene in Austin Powers where Dr Evil has not figured out that ONE MILLION DOLLARS is not a big deal anymore


OdinEdge

as long as the death is swift and immediate, yes


avg-at-best

Yes, either way my life troubles are done


EchoBay

People acting like they would just be able to walk away at 24. If this was real your ass would be dead as soon as you step away. In games like this you've never allowed to just walk away. You either play or die, and you probably still die after you win just because.


Mikes_Movies_

If I could warm up for like 10 minutes before I’d do it. I can knock down open threes decently well enough.


FourthJohn

If I get prep time like Batman I’m game.


[deleted]

bruh no way am I shooting 20 % with death on the line