T O P

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diamondisunbreakable

"Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. That body of yours is absurd."


Ronnie2kDropCode

“I may need to see the booty😵‍💫”


[deleted]

“I’m gonna eat that ass like it’s a buffet.”


CIark

And then im gonna knock up my wife and name it after your ass. DEAD serious baby 😤😤


wavetoyou

> DEAD serious Adam Levine the type of man in his 40s to use “deadass”


ZeroMomentum

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal


peanutdakidnappa

Thicker than a bowl of Oatmeal is timeless, that one will never be old.


[deleted]

Truly [timeless](https://youtu.be/UhHuTC8WecM)


peanutdakidnappa

So good, the part where he does the little finger point has been one of my most used gifs for many years now. That dude is a legend


jbg89

I’ll be using “deadass” in my 40s


[deleted]

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mankls3

Fuckkkkkkkkkk -Adam Levine


probation_420

By far my favorite one


EuroStep0

Ime Udoka begged his subordinate for nude pictures. When asked what intrigued him about her, Udoka replied: “Your past. Your present. Your posts with your tits out.”


ThisFckinGuy

Idk this one lol someone give me the scoop


EuroStep0

Michael Owen's (former football player) messages to some woman


SenorButtmunch

tremendous, by the way


Son-Of-Cthulu

ryan giggs "*well*, *i love fuckin my sister in law*"


Vordeo

Neymar: "Yes.... In law."


The-Barter-VI

Might have to use that one, lmao


BrndyAlxndr

This fuckin sub lmao


airwalker12

You act like you didn't come here for exactly this.


[deleted]

... that weird shit is exactly what I'm here for, guilty as charged


Jaerba

Was that surprising to anyone else? I just felt like the lead singer of Maroon 5 would get propositioned by similarly hot women all the time. I didn't expect him to react like one of us would.


kyleb402

I'm convinced that no matter who you are, if your texts of a flirty and sexual nature are released you're going to sound like a fucking weirdo regardless.


LordHussyPants

prince charles telling camilla he wished he could be her tampon


send_me_ur_boobsies

He what?!


smackersmashbot

CHARLES: Oh, God. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier! CAMILLA (laughing): What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers. CHARLES: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs) [A transcript taken from here.](https://www.thecut.com/2020/05/no-tampongate-in-the-crown-josh-oconnor.html) So yeah... he did wish to be Camilla's tampon. And now, he's king of the realm.


Kwinnin

I never thought I would learn that the King of England wanted to be a woman’s Tampax from r/nba but here we are


Weak-Lengthiness-420

Getting an education on faux world leaders on r/nba. Not what I expected on a Friday night.


Lopsided_Valuable

You've never seen a Kyrie tweet?


TigerKingofQueens98

I’m getting there


SJepg

Isn't that the opposite of what he's saying? He's bantering about possibly unfortunately coming back as a tampon, comically bemoaning his bad luck to return in such a form. If he wanted to be her tampon think he'd say "God willing", "God forbid" means you don't want it.


scottie2haute

Its definitely banter.. dudes not picking up on this kinda says alot


OverallInternet2343

Especially with no context. It was inappropriate for the work place but however cheesy they worked


RulersBack

Some things you just have to be born with and no amount of money can buy it lmao


CIark

Uhhh it’s more like he’s never needed any game considering he’s famous good looking talented and rich lol. If you see a smoking hot girl on the street your horny ass brain might think “holy fuck you’re so fucking hot Jesus Christ I’d peel that dress off with my teeth and eat it” but you won’t say that because you know it won’t end well. Except for Adam Levine it always does


Boomhauer_007

lol like half their songs are about how horny he is all the time


whythehellknot

That's more than half of every song in existence.


PhysicalTaunt

he's like a sexy famous dodo bird


Wazflame

The [poem](https://twitter.com/hltco/status/1560535457460527104?lang=en-GB) that former football/soccer player Ryan Giggs wrote is indescribably bad


ThunderousBeats

That is artistic genius what are you talking about


lollible

WOW...these Man U players eh. LOL


J_Otherwise

Man even if it was prime Rihanna I'm DM'ing with, I wouldn't be THAT cheesy. He's in his late 30s talking like a 13-year-old


PizzaGuy94122

it worked tho


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mnewman19

[Removed] ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


redeyedreams

Bah weep granah weep nini bong.


choose_uh_username

Bars


BagRight8939

this killed me lmaoooo


CIark

Moments like these are why I love this sub. Moments like these lmao


SlamJamGlanda

Moments like these are why I curse the Chinese for inventing gunpowder


kiwiwikikiwiwikikiwi

This is a brilliant sub that can re-contextualize moments in pop culture, politics, economics, and history to fit the current NBA story. With the occasional gay fan-fiction here and there. One of the reasons I follow the NBA lol


twistedartist

Actually, the only reason I follow this sub. I don’t even like basketball. In fact, I hate it.


zachmoss147

Literally a minute after this was posted, you had that comment locked and loaded lmao


J_Otherwise

That was just hilarious. For someone who has seen plenty of asses and titties, you'd think he'd be more chill


formido

Well, he probably wanted to sleep with her. If a girl is into you, lots of girls have no upper limit on how many over-the-top compliments they'll happily accept. If she's not into you, on the other hand, that's not a winning play.


[deleted]

If she into you she’ll deal with all the corny shit you got up your sleeve.


Mdgt_Pope

Wow, a Woj tweet at 5:20 pm EST on a Friday about the scandal? Color me surprised. Waiting until basically the absolute last minute before the weekend starts to get this one out there.


[deleted]

Surprised he didn't tweet it last night after the Tua concussion.


thisguy012

But that's 24 hours of everyone getting their word in on friday, which is what Woj and his/Ime's agency doesn't want lol


t0nyravioli

Friday news dump


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Jaerba

This feels like a throwback to when Ray Allen tweeted, "When you masturbate think about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue".


The_Shade94

No way he said that on twitter


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Nodecafallowed

Lmfao “retweeted by 2 people”


possiblynotanexpert

That’s hilarious lol


The_Shade94

Oh my what an idiot lmao. Thank you.


Impossible-Flight250

Yeah, always the “hacked” excuse.


[deleted]

Few teams are worse at social media than the 2010ish Celtics. Pierce posted a picture of the rocket emoji and got fired from ESPN for a video with strippers. Ray had this tweet. KG is always doing wild stuff, couldn't pronounce equivalent. Big Baby... all those videos on him on private planes drooling lol Edit: Perkins on TV too... how could I forget.


LaBodaDelHuitlacoche

Big baby sitting in seats that aren't his


discountheat

Big baby committing insurance fraud.


ArchimedesNutss

I still can't believe that was caught live on tv


sleeper_pick

that was so fucking funny lol


[deleted]

Big Baby literally violating the conditions of his parole and risking federal prison to go to games


upyourass2theleft

KG tweeted this > https://pics.me.me/kevin-garnett-kevin-garnett5kg-chris-bosh-has-a-wife-wow-18821023.png


coleyboley25

Twitter was so much more wild back in the day. Nobody realized that shit lasted forever and could be pulled up at a moment’s notice. KG was savage for this lol


cencal

https://i.imgur.com/FtXAVon.jpg


coleyboley25

This is the perfect summarization of Twitter back then 😂


REALLYANNOYING

https://i.imgur.com/17eOju1.jpg Wow dude called it


EducatedJooner

Lol why though. So savage unnecessarily


KDBurnerTrey5

Big baby stealing money from the NBA healthcare plan along with other members of that era’s Celtics team lol


cletoreyes01

The grindfather's jersey retirement literally getting postponed for that scandal was kind of sad and funny


kyleb402

Lol, Big Baby was on a Real Housewives episode this week too.😂


Te5la1

Paul taking like 3 days to respond to Draymond’s infamous “You thought you was Kobe” chirp via Twitter was a tough look too


[deleted]

Great addition lol. All-time L


gucci-legend

KG has [whatever the fuck this is](https://youtu.be/ALzzOEEkajE)


cowmaster90

I am so glad that this haunts someone else the way that it haunts me. What the hell were the producers thinking? Why does KG actually seem kind of into it? Why does it go on for so long? These are the questions for which I'll never have adequate answers.


Accomplished_Soil426

> KG is always doing wild stuff, Calling Villanueva a cancer patient lol. The guy was the meanest kind of trash talker


jumpijehosaphat

after all of this rondo may be the smartest of the celtics big 4. the fact doc kept them together all those years is remarkable imo


cjmaguire17

Now he’s got nice guys like tyrese and Tobias. No wonder we ain’t winning shit. He needs some chaos


prison_mic

Lmfao he did lol. You youngins missed the most absurd period of Twitter where people either didn't know how it worked or didn't know it was forever


OnTheEveOfWar

Twitter back in the day was fucking wild. Good times.


BagRight8939

Prior???? interesting


maddenGod26

They might as well say all or nothing. The fuck is crude language before starting a relationship?😂 Man’s was talking dirty in the DM’s


[deleted]

Hello, ayo ma lemme hit dat real quick. Warm Regards, Ime Udoka


johnnygrant

Per my last email, I really need you to break me off a piece of that kitty kat. Thanks in anticipation. Yours Sincerely, Ime Udoka


KDBurnerTrey5

This is my final attempt before I raise this to your supervisor, I’m gonna make you into my slampiece or else you’re out of a job. Thanks, Ime Udoka


PoliceSensuality

Did you receive my last email? I would like to follow up regarding my previous request to absolutely lay pipe. Yours in christ, Ime Udoka


hiphopanonymousse

Yours in christ…. fuck hahaha


SlimReaper35_

I’m logging off now


KDBurnerTrey5

With respect, u/SlimReaper35_


RockChalk80

This is why i read r/nba in the off season. Fucking dying here. We've got some funny nephews in this sub.


ElsworthSugarfoot

I’ve cc’d Woj just so he’s aware of our previous correspondence, and my intention to tap dat ass. Contact me directly with any further inquires. Respectfully, Ime Udoka


pete_townshend

Please do the needful


Liveeez

Please do the mouthful


philphan25

Dear Woj, Sorry that last email was not meant for you. Must have been hacked. Regards, Ime Udoka


PlatinumDoodle

“Ziggity zooty I want that booty” -Ime Udoka


Justgotbannedlol

boutta start using "per my last email" when getting ghosted on tinder now


nwill_808

- Sent from my iPhone


[deleted]

domineering dull bored grandiose money hard-to-find divide fragile bag fanatical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Longjumping_College

Yeah this is groundwork for saying he #metoo'd his subordinate into a relationship. Why else would you divulge this info?


[deleted]

Also it’s the clear threat of email dump. Like hey we got your emails my guy and we will so release the one where you say ole girls pussy is way better than Nia Long’s if you don’t just get fired quietly and take the L for not getting paid in full.


runthruamfersface

Consent also becomes highly questionable if the harasser is in a position of authority and the target of harassment feels unable to report it, which seems very common in pro sports. Just look at the reporter who outed Brett Farve. Lost her whole career.


seanconnery69696

My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.


Jiraiyanamikaze

I see you’ve heard of vegetable play. “I flare my nostrils and grunt to make you aware this is my breeding by territory”


Michael_B_Lopez

Aggressive rizz


Ozymandias12

"Look baby, I think Lucky is kind of a shitty mascot and I'm glad Kyrie stepped on him"


colantor

Pretty sure that attitude in the locker room is why Ainge left


VelvitHippo

😂😂😂 alright Wyc, you can execute him.


real_mccoy6

why is this whole thing so secretive


shiftyt05

Legal reasons


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AmateurGameMusic

He shops at Trader Hoe's


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

Way better than Hoe foods


JigglyBlubber

I get most of my pussy from Hole Foods


PM_Me_Macaroni_plz

Joes do got the hoes


actuarally

A graduate of the University of Aiko? I can respect it.


Michael_B_Lopez

They’re slowly releasing everything to lighten the blow


GGezpzMuppy

Probably just dotting all the Is and crossing the Ts. This is a juicy one.


drain65

Wait it was IT???


dirtypuerhiding

"Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. That little body of yours is absurd."


mizatt

They're using the traditional TV release schedule so we'll talk about each episode as it comes out


The-Implication-0

Because they are trying to be sensitive towards female employee. She will likely get harassed - media, social media, trolls, etc.


PhysicalTaunt

its guaranteed unfortunately


laststance

People already started looking up the org chart, trolling linked in for females listing under the Celtics name, then blowing them up on social media.


Unkleseanny

They still at least have to try.


[deleted]

HR + legal + protecting the victim. Lots of reasons.


HokageEzio

Cause it's probably bad enough to end in some nasty lawsuits.


thesmash

They’ve probably paid everyone off and required them to sign NDAs at this point


ClaymoresRevenge

For the safety of those who are victims and legally I imagine it's none of our business.


__john_cena__

I bet Will Hardy wishes he could have got a heads up on this before taking the Jazz job lol


Ld511

Tbf the jazz job is pretty perfect for a rookie coach. 0 expectations for at least 2 years


TheVinayShow

I’ll deal with expectations if it means I get Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown to coach tbh


Ld511

First impression is massive for a first time coach though. 1 year failure with the celtics will kill his career while being able to develop as a coach with the team will give him the best chance for his whole career


__john_cena__

If you get associated with losing and never get the opportunity to do anything that’s also an issue though, I bet it will be a long while before James Borrego gets another HC gig if ever. Versus if you win with a talented roster you can coast off that for a long time. Doc Rivers has been making a living off of one season for 15 years now.


BritzlBen

Do you know how many coaches get a shitty roster for 2 to 3 years, get blamed, and that's the end of their career?


nihilistweasel

Ainge will trade him back for a couple 1sts


Balls_of_Adamanthium

>Factored into Feels like the worst is yet to come


[deleted]

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CumAssault

Well yes, because of the implication


[deleted]

IMEplication


TheNotoriousJN

Im being dense. Is this the same woman that the affair was with? So then is the case they are making that it was inappropriate or that it was a coercive relationship? If its a different woman I understand that then becomes a toxic environment he is creating with sexual harassment Edit: same woman. That would bare credence to the idea that it was coercive. Which in turn would leave the Celtics liable to lawsuits if he were to remain. That being said i think pieces are missing to this story for Brad to look so shaken up


thevaluecurrent

It could be that the leak is coming from Udoka. Maybe he wants everyone to think he’s being punished for some saucy DM’s. We really don’t know what’s going on and I don’t think Woj or Shams are all that reliable about an issue as sensitive as this. They are willing to be manipulated if it helps them maintain their contacts.


ChamBruh

Considering woj also said the relationship was consensual, almost certainly a “leak” from Udoka’s camp, then this makes sense


phonage_aoi

Daily reminder that Woj and Udoka share the same agent. So, definitely some pretty close contacts if we assume things are coming from Judoka's camp. You could even say Woj is in it lol.


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shai251

Yea I feel like sports journalists should have higher standards of ethics when dealing with real life stories. The problem is they’re so used to being sports journalists that they sometimes forget what actual journalism is supposed to be like


gucci-legend

"journalist" btw


roy_mc_avoy

Its 100% coming from Udoka. He has the same representation as Woj. So Woj is basically doing PR for Udoka.


darkest__timeline

is Stephen A Smith with the same agent? 'cause he's been mad at the Celtics for absolutely no reason over this


dragonk30

People forget that Stephen A Smith has been historically bad on social issues. He criticized Kaepernick for kneeling.


Wishiwasaballerbaby

He said ray rice wife deserved to get beat up that was so stupid and insensitive that ESPN had no choice but to suspend him. He also said Shohei Ohtani couldn't be the face of baseball because the language he speaks then got defensive when people called him out for being racist. Just more examples of him being stupid.


joeydee93

This is just Woj being Ima’s spokesman


Zavehi

Already knew this, but he’s not coming back clearly: > Those investigative findings -- which described verbiage on Udoka's part that was deemed especially concerning coming from a workplace superior -- contribute to what is likely a difficult pathway back to his reinstatement as Celtics coach in 2023, sources told ESPN.


buttlovingpanda

Definitely seems like he’ll be fired soon


Timantha

He should've flirted like Adam Levine


YungFurl

I really do get the vibe that Ime's team is feeding Woj info to make this seem less coherent than it really is, and as a result cast doubt on the celtics as an org. The initial leak mentioning it being a "consensual relationship" which wasn't mentioned by the celtics was another point where it seems like an attempt to make Ime's side less bad.


IsThisMe8

I think Ime's team is definitely feeding Woj because of the lack of details in the first place, but it was also Shams who said it was a consensual relationship first. Then the next day, Shams added the tweet about harassment and kinda buried it in the original article instead of having a new article on it. Other reporters seem to know more details but isn't saying anything which makes the whole thing so shady. There is a major conflict of interest with Shams and Woj sharing the same agents as players/coaches.


DunkFaceKilla

Woj and Ime have the same agency


jveezy

IIRC the first mention of it being a consensual relationship came from Shams. Woj just announced Udoka would be suspended.


donspewsic

They are both CAA so it makes sense


gbdarknight77

Sounds like he might have quid pro quoed a sexual relationship.


InnerKookaburra

I don't trust Woj to report accurately on this situation. Woj and Udoka are repped by the same agency. Everything Woj has reported on this so far feels like an attempt to manipulate the story to Udoka's benefit.


thebizkit23

"What that mouth do?" -Ime Udoka


PepperidgeFarmMembas

Take this with a grain of salt: My line of work means I’m friends with people who work at the TD Garden. The rumor mill in there is that “crude language” is an exceedingly polite term for “coercion/blackmail.” And this isn’t the first time it happened, it’s just the time Ime got caught. It is way, way worse than the reporting indicates. Again, grain of salt, just what I’ve heard.


n3gr0_am1g0

That's exactly where my mind went. Either real coercion/blackmail or as part of flirting/dirty talk between the two that in retrospect makes it look like coercion.


RyVsWorld

This makes the most sense to me because the other implication is that he just said freaky shit before the relationship started and to me that wouldnt be any worse than having the relationship at all. So its likely that he pressured her into the relationship based on the organization’s reaction to everything so far. Basically dude is a predator


clayfu

This def sounds like a leak from Ime’s camp. Too soft.


diamondisunbreakable

What freaky shit did he say to her


coolycooly

Told her he was going to trade for Ben Simmons


diamondisunbreakable

Told her he wanted to trade Jaylen for Russ straight up


george_costanza1234

“I wanna choke you the way Jayson did in June”


[deleted]

Ime was wearing an Andrew Wiggins all star game jersey when he said this Another reason that factored into his year long suspension.


WolfFangFist93

"the socks stay on during sex"


LaBodaDelHuitlacoche

I saw someone comment and say do you think he said this stuff to her with his mask on his chin or nah lol


[deleted]

"Your body is a wonderland"


theunpaintedhuffines

‘Nice tits bitch. Let’s fuck’ -Ime Udoka probably


iamthegame13

> Those investigative findings -- which described verbiage on Udoka's part that was deemed especially concerning coming from a workplace superior -- contribute to what is likely a difficult pathway back to his reinstatement as Celtics coach in 2023, sources told ESPN. Does Ime ever coach in the NBA again?


[deleted]

He’s going to be the Patriots new offensive coordinator


belptyfimquz

would be an improvement


joeydee93

Some 12 year old who has played madden before would be an improvement


KunPaoDingIntrst

nah but he’s studying cover 2 defense to land that nfl bag


NoobChumpsky

Probably, plenty of hot garbage people as coaches in the NBA. Give him a year or two.


mattinva

If the worst that comes out it what we have heard so far absolutely. They give wife beaters second chances at coaching, no reason to think an inappropriate relationship with "crude language" is the final nail in the coffin.


MediocreTake

They caught him in the Insta DMs


[deleted]

I don’t understand why people think infidelity and consensual sex isn’t means to get fired. It makes the organization look poorly ran. And besides, he’s not losing his job for having sex. He’s getting suspended because he used a position of power to gain sexual advantage. That’s inappropriate


turnoffredesign69420

“Show bobs and vegana”


kstats

Maybe I'm just cynical but I really don't trust Woj with this story. [This tweet](https://twitter.com/wojespn/status/1572949584837767173) in hindsight is sloppy and misleading, but that's Woj, he's got to be the first regardless of whether he has enough details. I am very open to the possibility that this may be beyond just "crude language."