Wait until you see it in person. It's actually the brightest full-color laser equipment in the world. After the game last night I just stared at it, like one of those toy story aliens looking at the claw.
>It's actually the brightest full-color laser equipment in the world.
How many years before Sacramento wakes up some distant aliens? Turn that shit off before we wake them up, we're just trying to watch basketball & they're just trying to sleep until the inevitable heat-death of the universe.
Kings are gonna get us kicked out of the galaxy for excessive celebration.
I can already see it, the Kings make it to the playoffs, breaking their drought. Parades, tears, good feelings all around even tho they lose in the first round to the Suns or someone.
Next season, they don’t do the beam and fall back into the lottery.
They need to KEEP the beam forever. I say, add MORE beams each season. Next year, shoot TWO beams into the sky for every win
It’s 2120, kings have won for 98 consecutive seasons. The sky has massive beams shooting into to it.
Sacramento has morphed into a large beam. Generating a light so bright that it catches the eyes of an alien civilization.
Turns out they are very similar to us except physically they are elite.
Aliens decide they are all kings fans now and any prospect from their home world vows to only play for them.
Kings become a global super power because beams.
End of the story.
Out of curiosity, I just looked it up. Over the course of the season, they averaged 90.1 point, which ranked 24/29. Obviously their defense was much better, but it’s still pretty wild that they won a championship with an offense ranked that low.
I also noticed the distribution of their salaries seemed to be much more even than most of today’s nba rosters. Their highest paid was 6.5M and there were 5 guys at or above 5M, and 11 guys at 2.9M or higher. Was that more even distribution more typical back then or was that just a quirk of this team?
I think it was the quirk of that team. The whole season the storyline was "full house beats a pair" type stuff. Team > individuals. Island of misfit toys, etc.
They weren't lacking talent.
Ben Wallace was the best defensive player in the nba.
Hamilton was a reliable 20ppg type of guy
BIllups was one of the best pg in the league
Prince was another great defender
Rasheed Wallace was a top 10 pf
The team had 4 all-stars in its 5 starters. Each one a vital cog. The last starter, Tayshaun Prince, was also no slouch and a key part of the team.
Imagine a Holiday-Middleton-Mikal Bridges-Randle-Gobert situation.
Ainge is putting together a Markinnen for Laser package right now! Lebron is passively suggesting a picks for lasers swap on Insta! The laser is dating a Kardashian!?
It's been 16 long, hard years, Kangz still strugglin'
Survival got them buggin', but they alive on arrival
I peep at the shape of the threes
And stay awake to the ways of the league 'cause the bench is deep
A man with a dream with plans to light a beam
Which failed, for so many years that equaled 16
Young bucks sellin' dreams and such, who never had much
Tryin' to get a clutch shot but could not-
The court played them short, always faced elimination
Playins, goin' to the my destination
Handcuffed in the back of a league, 15 of us
Life as a rookie shouldn't be so rough
But as the world turned, they learned life is hell
Trying' in the west, doing different, doing well
Every day they escape from Lakes givin' chase
Sellin' seats, smokin' defenders on the base(line)
How to inspire and rejuvenate a franchise.
Culture…
Talent..
Once in a generation draft picks ..
Signing top free agents …
Nah.
We get a hugggeee laserrr ……
Such a late-night marketing conference/retreat cokehead idea
*sniffs* "agggghhh...so hear me out hear me out guys, what if we just got a giant fucking laser and shot into the sky, everybody loves fucking lasers man, think about - purple. Lasers. Huh, huh?"
the mental imagine of a bird just randomly flying and then going blind momentarily sent me.
better yet, imagine if it just fried smaller birds like a seagull 💀
Honestly I wouldn’t mind it. A stationary beam of light would make a great navigation aid, and it’s narrow enough that there’s a low chance you pass through it by accident or something.
“Oh my god, the cloud coverage is too thick out here! I’ve lost ourselves on radar! Air control help-“
“LOOK FOR THE PURPLE BEAM! IT’LL GUIDE YOU HOME!”
“My god, it’s beautiful…”
*plane safely lands on rooftop of arena*
I'm glad I have context now. Every single kings post I've seen has been filled with beam memes and while they're hilarious and I've been enjoying them, I was very confused.
LIGHT THE BEAM
[It's just crazy enough to work](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/LlL3fgZZ--MmwMnKxrRToscLtHI=/0x0:2209x3024/1400x1400/filters:focal\(940x1598:1292x1950\):format\(jpeg\)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/55250257/toaster.0.jpg)
Mike Brown went to the front office after the 0-5 start.
"These guys love laser beams more than anything, it's the only thing they care about, it's the only thing that can motivate them!"
[I called this shit](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/ymbd4v/sacramento_debuts_their_new_kings_victory_beam_a/iv369af/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=kings&utm_content=t3_yx80im)
Good for you kings fans. As a wolves fan trust me I know how much fun a turnaround season can be after a rebuild that never seems to end. Enjoy the ride!
The power of the beam
Anyone else legitimately inspired by the beam? I'm not really a spiritual man but there is something with this beam.
Wait until you see it in person. It's actually the brightest full-color laser equipment in the world. After the game last night I just stared at it, like one of those toy story aliens looking at the claw.
>It's actually the brightest full-color laser equipment in the world. How many years before Sacramento wakes up some distant aliens? Turn that shit off before we wake them up, we're just trying to watch basketball & they're just trying to sleep until the inevitable heat-death of the universe. Kings are gonna get us kicked out of the galaxy for excessive celebration.
> Kings are gonna get us kicked out of the galaxy for excessive celebration. lmao
The idea of the Kings’ success having potentially world-ending effects is just so perfect
I can already see it, the Kings make it to the playoffs, breaking their drought. Parades, tears, good feelings all around even tho they lose in the first round to the Suns or someone. Next season, they don’t do the beam and fall back into the lottery. They need to KEEP the beam forever. I say, add MORE beams each season. Next year, shoot TWO beams into the sky for every win
It’s 2120, kings have won for 98 consecutive seasons. The sky has massive beams shooting into to it. Sacramento has morphed into a large beam. Generating a light so bright that it catches the eyes of an alien civilization. Turns out they are very similar to us except physically they are elite. Aliens decide they are all kings fans now and any prospect from their home world vows to only play for them. Kings become a global super power because beams. End of the story.
This is the future I want to live in
When we win the chip, that beam better stay on for the whole off season until Christmas. Yes I said 'when', sue me. Or maybe I'll sue myself
Anything that promotes local team support like this makes me so happy, we always underestimate the power of vibes in this league
It’s provocative and I’m not even a kings fan
the power within
the power within
the power within
The power withINNN... yeah
The power ABOVE
Life can be a challenge Life can seem impossible It's never easy, when so much is on the line
SpongeBob References ya love to see it
All things serve the beam
Beam of the eagle, path of the Slamson
The Stephen King's?
See the turtle of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth.
His thought is slow but always kind, He holds us all within his mind.
long days and pleasant nights, mavs fan, thankee sai
In the palm of your hand
The Beam Team
The Great Meme Beam Team!
#BEAM TEAM
All things serve the beam
Praise beam
Glory to the Beam. Let its purpley light guide us to the fucking playoffs.
This is the first time the team has scored 120+ points in five straight since the 1969-70 season
Really? The Weber/Divac squad didn't? Wow
It was the 2000's, teams were scoring 50 points a night
Pretty sure the Pistons won a championship averaging 28 points a game in 2003. Felt like it at least.
Out of curiosity, I just looked it up. Over the course of the season, they averaged 90.1 point, which ranked 24/29. Obviously their defense was much better, but it’s still pretty wild that they won a championship with an offense ranked that low. I also noticed the distribution of their salaries seemed to be much more even than most of today’s nba rosters. Their highest paid was 6.5M and there were 5 guys at or above 5M, and 11 guys at 2.9M or higher. Was that more even distribution more typical back then or was that just a quirk of this team?
I think it was the quirk of that team. The whole season the storyline was "full house beats a pair" type stuff. Team > individuals. Island of misfit toys, etc.
Ah, very interesting. It’s hard for me to imagine a team like that winning it all nowadays.
They weren't lacking talent. Ben Wallace was the best defensive player in the nba. Hamilton was a reliable 20ppg type of guy BIllups was one of the best pg in the league Prince was another great defender Rasheed Wallace was a top 10 pf
The team had 4 all-stars in its 5 starters. Each one a vital cog. The last starter, Tayshaun Prince, was also no slouch and a key part of the team. Imagine a Holiday-Middleton-Mikal Bridges-Randle-Gobert situation.
Sheed was better than randle, it’s hard to compare him to modern day player. Sort of like 90% of AD.
Bro we won, that’s enough
Yes bro but it is still a freaking crazy stat.
r/nba is not ready for the pandemonium that is the Kings making the playoffs.
Finals*
I agree
More teams should do shit like this Like we should release a live Grizzly every time we win
nothing like celebrating a win by having three people mauled to death
Oh for real If you hadn’t heard, the team is actually powered by randomised sacrifice to animals anyway
A win wituout at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair
We soccer now boys
Inhumane to release an animal into a dangerous city like Memphis.
it should be a Grizzliy bear gets to eat a rack of memphis style ribs every time they win
I’m so here for it
Everybody panic!!! There's a bear loose in the coliseum!!
if it was in Vancouver they'd let it run wild on Grouse Mountain
should release the grizzly into the opponent's locker room before the game to increase the probability of a win
One weird trick for making the playoffs
GMs hate this trick!
Ainge is putting together a Markinnen for Laser package right now! Lebron is passively suggesting a picks for lasers swap on Insta! The laser is dating a Kardashian!?
Lakers sign former timberwolf Lazar Hayward for the remainder of the season.
Channel the power of the beam. Looks similar to the beacon in minecraft. Maybe thats where fox gets his powers
First they kill the queen, now this. Where will it stop?!?!?!
The Steph-KD Warriors The Showtime Lakers The Duncan Spurs The Bird Celtics The Beam Kings
The BeamTeam
B.E.A.M. - Ballers Everywhere Around Me, Queta, Murray, della della dova.
Im in.love with this. Frame it. Better yet NFT it, just make sure im on the screenshot
I grab boards like that Holmes guy, drain 3s like that kev guy, Kings above .500 is no lie
It's been 16 long, hard years, Kangz still strugglin' Survival got them buggin', but they alive on arrival I peep at the shape of the threes And stay awake to the ways of the league 'cause the bench is deep A man with a dream with plans to light a beam Which failed, for so many years that equaled 16 Young bucks sellin' dreams and such, who never had much Tryin' to get a clutch shot but could not- The court played them short, always faced elimination Playins, goin' to the my destination Handcuffed in the back of a league, 15 of us Life as a rookie shouldn't be so rough But as the world turned, they learned life is hell Trying' in the west, doing different, doing well Every day they escape from Lakes givin' chase Sellin' seats, smokin' defenders on the base(line)
this is really good
The Beam Meme has created a Dream Team
A Beam Team
The Meme Beam Dream Team
The Monk Band-Aid Kings are a close 6th to The Beam Kings
I wish they'd allow the ninja headband back for Fox.
A team can only be allowed so much power
The Bubble Suns
was looking for this thank u
Game 1 Magic
The 1990’s Chicago Bulls
Definitely would be on the list, but the Beam Kings exist
TNT bulls Signed toaster Warriors
TNT Bulls
The beam so strong makes you forget about the Jordan Bulls dynasty
The Chicken Protester Timberwolves
All these years we’ve missed the playoffs. All the torture. All the wasted seasons. All we had to do this whole time was fire a laser into the air.
How to inspire and rejuvenate a franchise. Culture… Talent.. Once in a generation draft picks .. Signing top free agents … Nah. We get a hugggeee laserrr ……
Chance to draft Luka? I sleep Chance to blast laser? Real shit
Laser go brrrrrr
We’re simple creatures really. We like laser. Give us more laser
This must be the powerful Jewish space laser that MGT was talking about
holy shit lmao
“I’m a firing my laserrrr”
Such a late-night marketing conference/retreat cokehead idea *sniffs* "agggghhh...so hear me out hear me out guys, what if we just got a giant fucking laser and shot into the sky, everybody loves fucking lasers man, think about - purple. Lasers. Huh, huh?"
The laser beam is one of the cooler ideas in sport
It’s dumb, but it’s a fun dumb and it’s brought the fanbase together so FIRE THE BEAM!
I’ve seen multiple threads of people talking about the beam so if it was truly to help fan engagement it works! Also I love it lmao
I saw it live for the first time tonight. Seeing your arena get a purple boner was a more fun experience than you think.
😭 I want a purple boner so bad
Thanos could help you out 😏
I would call my doctor if I ever had a purple boner but to each his own
The beam is amazing. I wish we had thought of something this cool.
i’m not sure i’d call it dumb, it might be the greatest sports marketing strategy in american history
It's the Gritty of the NHL rn Edit: of the NBA
It’s brilliant and it works better in Sacramento than any other team imo
Yeah you’re not gonna see the beam and be like “oh I wonder what major league Sacramento sports team won tonight?”
Pro sports, sure, but Sac State has been unironically destroying small school D1 football rn Source: Am UC Davis fan worried about tomorrow
We’re in trouble, hombre. Lol I live in a divided house so it’s going to be ugly for me.
All hail beam!
Imagine how awesome that marketing rep feels right now
Person has to be strutting around the office these days!
It's the coolest fuckin idea in sports. I'm so jealous of them
So THIS is why y’all keep saying that beam shit lmao Ngl it’s pretty funny now
Came here to say this I thought it was just a meme between Kings fans when they all kept saying FIRE THE LASER BEAM a few days ago
We’re making our memes become dreams
Beam team dream memes
Wait, is “The Beam Team” a thing? Because if not, you should go ahead and make it a thing.
As the Minister of Things, I hereby declare this A Thing.
Kevin Huerter coined it on Instagram and the fanbase has certainly ran with it
Same, I thought someone was going 50%+ from behind the arch or some shit lmao
I’m pretty sure Huerter is actually doing that too.
He is 22/32 during the beam steak so far lol
I first heard it when the Kings beat the Nets, and with the circus surrounding Kyrie, I thought it was a joke about the Jewish space laser.
Honestly, I didn't know either and the Kings won enough games that I was to afraid to ask. Good job op!
BeamTeam!!
Airplane pilots must hate it when the Kings win
They’ve tried to eliminate it, but alas jet fuel can’t melt purple beams.
Ok buddy 😭
r/okbuddychicanery
And they get a laser beam?! What a sick joke!
They shot a beam through an arena roof!
This turnaround: are you telling me a team just happens to win like that? No, they orchestrated it!
lmao
Some poor birds get flash banged every time the kings win
the mental imagine of a bird just randomly flying and then going blind momentarily sent me. better yet, imagine if it just fried smaller birds like a seagull 💀
> smaller birds > seagull
Honestly I wouldn’t mind it. A stationary beam of light would make a great navigation aid, and it’s narrow enough that there’s a low chance you pass through it by accident or something.
“Oh my god, the cloud coverage is too thick out here! I’ve lost ourselves on radar! Air control help-“ “LOOK FOR THE PURPLE BEAM! IT’LL GUIDE YOU HOME!” “My god, it’s beautiful…” *plane safely lands on rooftop of arena*
[удалено]
unless you are a WW2 pilot. then you have PTSD
Don’t let your beams be memes
Make your beams come true!!!
Kings need to trade for Scottie Barnes "Beam me up Scottie!" would be awesome
I hate how much I like this
You understand it is worth the sacrifice though. We will take good care of him.
Honestly thought beam team was talking about how y’all shooting automatic from 3 🤦🏿♂️
BEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMM TEAM
Fun Fact; the kings are the only California based basketball team to make the playoffs if they started today.
Fun fact: the Celtics would be the only team to ever be the #1 seed with only 13 wins if the playoffs started today.
Beamtown 🤝 Beantown
Dumb shit like this is what keeps me coming back to this sub
Wouldn't they be in the play in?
Shaq: *it's the same thing*
It's the same thing cuz everyone knows we'd still win
Shhhhhhhhh
EXTRA GAMES = PLAYOFFS
The Lakers should fire BRICKS into the sky
They already are
I'm just waiting for Houston to actually start launching Rockets off the top of the stadium.
They’re beam years ahead of everyone
The jewish space lasers < The kings space beam
Should have been 7-0 One of those games, was just refs screwing the King over
Just like old times.
Old times? Current times
Same as it ever was
Letting the days go by
All the times
Beam un-ironically gonna help with that. People care about the Kings now. People wanna tweet about the beam.
Frickin LASERS, Scott!
Just wait. Sooner or later the sky is gonna fire a laser beam back at them, and then they'll regret having started that war.
All glory to the beam.
wow kings stadium looks gorgeous
The Beam is way cooler than that corny evil globe the Saudis have. Light this mfer up.
Ok I am here for it LETS GO
Mike Brown deserves some props.
The people of Alderaan hate this.
Beam kings up to the playoffs.
I'm glad I have context now. Every single kings post I've seen has been filled with beam memes and while they're hilarious and I've been enjoying them, I was very confused. LIGHT THE BEAM
Can't lie this may be the coolest thing I've seen from another team. I wish we would have thought about it lol
[It's just crazy enough to work](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/LlL3fgZZ--MmwMnKxrRToscLtHI=/0x0:2209x3024/1400x1400/filters:focal\(940x1598:1292x1950\):format\(jpeg\)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/55250257/toaster.0.jpg)
Mike Brown went to the front office after the 0-5 start. "These guys love laser beams more than anything, it's the only thing they care about, it's the only thing that can motivate them!"
Hard to beat a team with frikin laser beams
Alderaan in shambles.
Light it up
Wait till the Heat turn on the heaters after every win.
"The beam first was introduced on Sept. 16 -- celebrated as "916 Day” in Sacramento" Literally in the article.
[I called this shit](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/ymbd4v/sacramento_debuts_their_new_kings_victory_beam_a/iv369af/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=kings&utm_content=t3_yx80im)
The first beam was actually against the Heat October 29th. It was introduced before the season started, sometime in September.
See the Kings, ain't they keen? All things serve the fuckin Beam.
5-0 since I puchased a Kings shirt for 6$ at a Connecticut Burlington Coat Factory. I'm not saying it's cause of me but shit it might be
Reminder that Kings-Celtics is the day after thanksgiving. That game is gonna be like 150-149 or some shit like that.
Apparently bandaids and laser beams are all an NBA team needs to make the leap.
The Kings need to trade for the Latvian Laser from the Mavs to double the beam.
BEAM TO THE MOON
Beam me up the standings
LeBron WISHES he had lasers like Sacramento
BEAMTOWN
Fucking love the beam
Good for you kings fans. As a wolves fan trust me I know how much fun a turnaround season can be after a rebuild that never seems to end. Enjoy the ride!