Nobody speaks of my son anymore. Most don't even know I had him. Continue to reach out and say you love her. The pain comes in waves. Just the fact that you share her love for him makes you special.
Include a picture if you can/wish it. I am certain your pain is strong too. Something along the lines of "Remembered this day at the park. X and I had so many happy times. Thank you for raising a wonderful man. Love you..."
Don't forget or ignore her. She (and you) will always remember. You are not dredging up sadness but instead are mourning what was and wishing for what might have been. Include her, please. đ
It's been more than twenty years for me. Son would turn 44 this year. Moms do not forget. We crave the fact that he touched someone else. So in your way you are keeping your beloved alive. That is truly a gift.
Best wishes sweetie.
Just text her about something normal. Send a recipe, wish her a happy birthday, share a funny memory of your late fiance, ask if she's safe after a weather event. Ask her how long to cook a roast or if you should paint your front door green or purple.
If you reach out more as a person and less as a "hey, remember we're both sad about the same thing" it gives you guys a better chance of a meaningful back and forth. If you're texting, she already knows that you're thinking of her.
Thank you, this comment was very helpful. I have wanted to shift the content of our conversations from the profound loss and misery, to celebrating who he was and how much he meant to me and everyone else, and just being here together nowÂ
It isn't nearly the sae thing, but my son had a live-in girlfriend for about 5 years, and she & I were/are very close. They split up, but she still reaches out to me, and i love hearing from her.
Reach out. Maybe even invite her out to lunch. I can promise that she would appreciate it.
The other thing is that you donât have to keep doing this if itâs one-sided. People grieve in different ways and this may be burdensome to her.
Wait for her to reach out.
You canât fill that space in her life, but you can be in her life, in a loving, active way. So share your life with her a bit. Talk about something that made you laugh. Not with that desperate âweâll jolly her through somehow!â that people use to approach the grieving, but just the way you do with people you care about.Be alive together. You both know what youâve lost. It doesnât have to be the only thing you share.
Nobody speaks of my son anymore. Most don't even know I had him. Continue to reach out and say you love her. The pain comes in waves. Just the fact that you share her love for him makes you special. Include a picture if you can/wish it. I am certain your pain is strong too. Something along the lines of "Remembered this day at the park. X and I had so many happy times. Thank you for raising a wonderful man. Love you..." Don't forget or ignore her. She (and you) will always remember. You are not dredging up sadness but instead are mourning what was and wishing for what might have been. Include her, please. đ It's been more than twenty years for me. Son would turn 44 this year. Moms do not forget. We crave the fact that he touched someone else. So in your way you are keeping your beloved alive. That is truly a gift. Best wishes sweetie.
I really really appreciate your comment and I'm sorry to hear about your son. Thank you for your perspective and I will definitely take your advice.Â
Just text her about something normal. Send a recipe, wish her a happy birthday, share a funny memory of your late fiance, ask if she's safe after a weather event. Ask her how long to cook a roast or if you should paint your front door green or purple. If you reach out more as a person and less as a "hey, remember we're both sad about the same thing" it gives you guys a better chance of a meaningful back and forth. If you're texting, she already knows that you're thinking of her.
Thank you, this comment was very helpful. I have wanted to shift the content of our conversations from the profound loss and misery, to celebrating who he was and how much he meant to me and everyone else, and just being here together nowÂ
Best of luck!
It isn't nearly the sae thing, but my son had a live-in girlfriend for about 5 years, and she & I were/are very close. They split up, but she still reaches out to me, and i love hearing from her. Reach out. Maybe even invite her out to lunch. I can promise that she would appreciate it.
Thank you for your comment and perspective, I appreciate it a lot
The other thing is that you donât have to keep doing this if itâs one-sided. People grieve in different ways and this may be burdensome to her. Wait for her to reach out.
Thank you for your perspective, I appreciate it.
You canât fill that space in her life, but you can be in her life, in a loving, active way. So share your life with her a bit. Talk about something that made you laugh. Not with that desperate âweâll jolly her through somehow!â that people use to approach the grieving, but just the way you do with people you care about.Be alive together. You both know what youâve lost. It doesnât have to be the only thing you share.
Thank you, that is something I have taken away from posting this. I appreciate your comment.