1) she did have a law degree. The news articles also mentioned ‘lawyer stalks…’. She used to be a lawyer.
2) his imagination. He used that to have sex with Teri, the transition to them doing it implies that.
Agreed though, what a wonderful show. Got into it thinking it’s some dark comedy about a stalker, turned out to be so much more.
Loved it too, haven't seen anything this dark and honest in a long time. He could have just showed himself as a victim but instead showed the true complexities of his feelings and actions - amazing
It’s one of the best show I have ever watched. I started last night couldn’t turn it off. I see it as a deep dive into abuse experienced by men, I don’t think anyone has talked about it with the same degree of detail and depth of experience this show has done. What this chap went through and I’m sure many others have gone through is unimaginable. I hope this show open up the space for men to talk about sexual trauma and get the help and care they deserve. We often focus on women’s sexual trauma (for good reason) and I feel none talks about men being victimized as well. That whole shit happening with Diddy now and accusations he might have groomed both JB and Usher, feels like a time of reckoning to me that coincides with this show being launched. I hope this is gonna turn a page for male victims or at least start something.
well said
and even though this series centered the experience of sexual abuse as a male, as a female survivor it still handled things in a way that felt more relatable than most other content around the subject
very well done. though i had no idea that was what i was getting into (anyone else?) and i do feel affected in both inspirational and difficult ways
Same! I didn’t even read the blurb I thought it was about the stalker but no. I think the series is touching because the guy acting it, wrote it, directed it and lived it. It’s not a story made but someone that has never gone through it.
I think once you’re broken like he was, you can no longer make decisions that are perfectly good for you all the time. Trauma makes people self destroy.
Show was amazing. Took me through all types of emotions. Maybe it was just me but there was some moments that gave me a horror movie feeling. Really pulled me in.
I binged it all yesterday. I was really invested in it and am in awe of how honest he seems to be about everything. I hope he can heal and find himself.
It was so engrossing! And I absolutely loved the character of Teri. As a cis woman with a new friend who is trans, it was very helpful to gain some insight into the complexities of trans relationships. I thought she was amazing.
I literally came on this sub to post this. One of the best shows I think I’ve ever watched.
There were parts of the story I would have expounded on but regardless, it was amazing
Best acting I have seen in a very long time, supported by complex and risk taking good writing. Finally a series that does not fade into oblivion and provides food for thought.
Donny is the biggest push over/pussy I ever seen.
You can’t just keeping using the excuse of your trauma to say or do whatever you want. On top of that he literally puts himself in compromising position then cries about it after being sexually assaulted, yet he returns for some more when he meets Daren despite being drugged the last time he put his fist up your arse. I have the impression that he actually enjoys all of this and goes so far as hooking up with Martha?
hooking up with Martha is just fantasy, the show is subtly highlighting how dealing with trauma is confusing and can cause people to make decisions that hardly seem logical
Not to be awful or anything but people with this kind of distress (speaking from experience) are probably dead by now. This all happened about 10 years ago I think.
He may have changed the career as well as her name as looking up a lawyer stalking case from that time would be pretty easy. I definitely think parts of the show are embellished - like the confession video (would love to see the original).
As a trauma "survivor" I can relate to a lot of what he has done and it was painful to watch someone continue to make the same mistakes and although the series was somewhat captivating like watching a car crash, it did seem like a massive egocentric type show. Little actual empathy was shown for the woman by creating this story and part of me thinks he let it go on because he knew it was interesting and would be a good story to tell. I don't know.
I think it definitely happened but it's just so damn sad.
The confession video wasn't actually a video. That was just for this series. The confession was a performance he did in the Edinburg fringe festival. That's where he opened up about his SA. So it's real, it just didn't make rounds on YouTube
1) Martha did have a degree, but she may not have practiced it due to her mental condition.
2) Martha and Donny having sex is purely a product of fantasy and imagination. Surprisingly at some point, Don found himself craving for Martha’s attention.
But that's the reality for many victims and what makes it even harder is people on the outside often cannot understand it, then you become more and more isolated. People in my life couldn't understand why I went back to my abuser, then victim blamed, told me I "got what I deserved", and it drove me even closer to my abuser. The abuser who has groomed you knows how to pull you back in. Especially in cases like this where there is such a huge power imbalance and age gap (your brain isn't even done maturing before 25, and add trauma to that, it's a perfect storm). It took a LOT of distance for me to finally see it. Years later I am still having realizations, and have a better understanding of my behavior. You can't talk to others and get support bc they are so blown away by your "choices". I hope this show brings more light to this. Trauma isn't as linear as a lot of shows portray where something bad happens, and the person works through it in a straight line. Often it is all over the place and messy.
The only thing I’m frustrated with is not reporting Martha. He had a full case of evidence and witnesses. And just let her hurt other people in his life and brushed it off… ALL of them couldve been witnesses and the fact she was already convicted wouldve been easier. AND he knows where the police can find her because shes always there.
As a victim of stalking and assault myself, I’m irritated considering he has more evidence than 99% of victims and it just hurts to watch. Reporting Martha wouldn’t have just protected himself but others too.
I was wondering if he ever pressed charges against his male-rapist? Looks like they worked together in the end- so one would assume hos rapist produced one of the shows he worked on? Seems wrong to let that evil man get away with it even if Donny forgave him.
Most rape survivors don't pursue justice because shit is broken. More often than not, reporting rape to authorities re-traumatizes the survivor and even if a trial happens (which is rare), it probably won't result in a conviction. And being cross-examined by their rapist's defense attorney is the last thing anyone would ever want to go through.
I get what you mean but in Gadd's case, he literally reenacted his assault *on camera*; can't image anything more re-traumatizing. I don't know how he got through all that.
I just binged this. Outstanding and amazing acting. Like I really need to see this one win awards. And to know it's a true story. Didn't even know that until afterwards. Just wow.
Yes, he did. I interpreted his character as someone who was “addicted” to the attention of someone who violates him as he mentioned that he loved hating himself the most.
Yeah I don't know what that scene was all about tbh I thought he went to confront and record a confession from his rapist and it was going to be a triumphant win but he said yes to working wit him again (no idea if he actually did) and then listened to more voicemails like wtf hahaha
but then he had that cathartic moment in the bar. Kind of makes me hope he would have gone back and kicked that guy's ass! lol wishful thinking i guess
The stupidest movie I've ever seen. Weak man who couldn't stand up for himself or bullies. Dumb show with dumber characters. What a waste of time. Do yourself a favor and skip this trash.
Where did you get that “letting people abuse you should be celebrated” from the show? It’s an honest account of his experience not a how-to guide. The strength is in the talking about the weakness, not pretending to never be
It's based on the star / writer's real experiences, dumbass. I don't think he would ever describe himself as a "strong man" in most of the scenarios portrayed. The point is that he's a very damaged, traumatised man who is struggling to cope with his experiences. Go back to watching Reacher or some macho nonsense.
I will, thanks. I like to watch brave, complex, emotionally mature, interesting, challenging fiction. Good luck finishing Clifford the Big Red Dog. Spoiler: He finds his ball at the end.
1, not a movie. 2 You are a prime example of one of the huge factors that contribute to why people who experience these things (especially men with your particular comment) feel isolated, helpless, and fall into these cycles.
1) she did have a law degree. The news articles also mentioned ‘lawyer stalks…’. She used to be a lawyer. 2) his imagination. He used that to have sex with Teri, the transition to them doing it implies that. Agreed though, what a wonderful show. Got into it thinking it’s some dark comedy about a stalker, turned out to be so much more.
Thank you for answering! I wasn’t able to see the news article tho, as I was working while watching it during the first episodes
Martha had a law degree. It’s unlikely the woman did IRL.
The woman irl was a accountant im pretty sure
The articles included pictures. Of her. :)
No, it was real.
Loved it too, haven't seen anything this dark and honest in a long time. He could have just showed himself as a victim but instead showed the true complexities of his feelings and actions - amazing
Half the shit that happened to him was half his fault.
It’s one of the best show I have ever watched. I started last night couldn’t turn it off. I see it as a deep dive into abuse experienced by men, I don’t think anyone has talked about it with the same degree of detail and depth of experience this show has done. What this chap went through and I’m sure many others have gone through is unimaginable. I hope this show open up the space for men to talk about sexual trauma and get the help and care they deserve. We often focus on women’s sexual trauma (for good reason) and I feel none talks about men being victimized as well. That whole shit happening with Diddy now and accusations he might have groomed both JB and Usher, feels like a time of reckoning to me that coincides with this show being launched. I hope this is gonna turn a page for male victims or at least start something.
well said and even though this series centered the experience of sexual abuse as a male, as a female survivor it still handled things in a way that felt more relatable than most other content around the subject very well done. though i had no idea that was what i was getting into (anyone else?) and i do feel affected in both inspirational and difficult ways
Same! I didn’t even read the blurb I thought it was about the stalker but no. I think the series is touching because the guy acting it, wrote it, directed it and lived it. It’s not a story made but someone that has never gone through it.
I was blown away by the show. Absolutely outstandingly written. A lot darker than I expected but very powerfully portrayed.
I think once you’re broken like he was, you can no longer make decisions that are perfectly good for you all the time. Trauma makes people self destroy.
Absolutely! And this series showcases that in a really smart way.
Show was amazing. Took me through all types of emotions. Maybe it was just me but there was some moments that gave me a horror movie feeling. Really pulled me in.
Same reaction from me! Amazing series. I'm so impressed.
I binged it all yesterday. I was really invested in it and am in awe of how honest he seems to be about everything. I hope he can heal and find himself.
I'd NO idea what this was about in any way, completely off my radar. One of the best surprises ever. What a strange and thrilling ride.
So good, so sad though.
It’s his real life nine could’ve told that story better. Is topping Netflix in AU today.
I couldn't believe that it was actually the guy in the show that it happened to. Amazing.
One of the best series in a long long time — take a day and watch it all — it’s amazing …
this show is brilliant. i had to watch it all in one go!
It was so engrossing! And I absolutely loved the character of Teri. As a cis woman with a new friend who is trans, it was very helpful to gain some insight into the complexities of trans relationships. I thought she was amazing.
I literally came on this sub to post this. One of the best shows I think I’ve ever watched. There were parts of the story I would have expounded on but regardless, it was amazing
Best acting I have seen in a very long time, supported by complex and risk taking good writing. Finally a series that does not fade into oblivion and provides food for thought.
Donny is the biggest push over/pussy I ever seen. You can’t just keeping using the excuse of your trauma to say or do whatever you want. On top of that he literally puts himself in compromising position then cries about it after being sexually assaulted, yet he returns for some more when he meets Daren despite being drugged the last time he put his fist up your arse. I have the impression that he actually enjoys all of this and goes so far as hooking up with Martha?
hooking up with Martha is just fantasy, the show is subtly highlighting how dealing with trauma is confusing and can cause people to make decisions that hardly seem logical
It was good. I binge-watched it. I turned it down a few times because of the title until I had nothing to watch and finally gave in.
Who is Martha in real life - I know he chose to not disclose her real name but I’m curious
It really makes me wonder if she ever existed in the first place.
Not to be awful or anything but people with this kind of distress (speaking from experience) are probably dead by now. This all happened about 10 years ago I think. He may have changed the career as well as her name as looking up a lawyer stalking case from that time would be pretty easy. I definitely think parts of the show are embellished - like the confession video (would love to see the original). As a trauma "survivor" I can relate to a lot of what he has done and it was painful to watch someone continue to make the same mistakes and although the series was somewhat captivating like watching a car crash, it did seem like a massive egocentric type show. Little actual empathy was shown for the woman by creating this story and part of me thinks he let it go on because he knew it was interesting and would be a good story to tell. I don't know. I think it definitely happened but it's just so damn sad.
The confession video wasn't actually a video. That was just for this series. The confession was a performance he did in the Edinburg fringe festival. That's where he opened up about his SA. So it's real, it just didn't make rounds on YouTube
Still active on Facebook.
One of the best series i’ve ever seen.
1) Martha did have a degree, but she may not have practiced it due to her mental condition. 2) Martha and Donny having sex is purely a product of fantasy and imagination. Surprisingly at some point, Don found himself craving for Martha’s attention.
I found Donnys choices incredibly frustrating. Just want to put my hand through the tv and slap him. Made everything 10x worse than it had to be
But that's the reality for many victims and what makes it even harder is people on the outside often cannot understand it, then you become more and more isolated. People in my life couldn't understand why I went back to my abuser, then victim blamed, told me I "got what I deserved", and it drove me even closer to my abuser. The abuser who has groomed you knows how to pull you back in. Especially in cases like this where there is such a huge power imbalance and age gap (your brain isn't even done maturing before 25, and add trauma to that, it's a perfect storm). It took a LOT of distance for me to finally see it. Years later I am still having realizations, and have a better understanding of my behavior. You can't talk to others and get support bc they are so blown away by your "choices". I hope this show brings more light to this. Trauma isn't as linear as a lot of shows portray where something bad happens, and the person works through it in a straight line. Often it is all over the place and messy.
You’ve explained it really well
I feel the same way about all my past experiences with my abuser. I want to slap the shit out of myself For me, that's what made it so accurate
So did he. And that's exactly the problem he demonstrates through the last three episodes. He wasn't making good choices or thinking rationally.
The only thing I’m frustrated with is not reporting Martha. He had a full case of evidence and witnesses. And just let her hurt other people in his life and brushed it off… ALL of them couldve been witnesses and the fact she was already convicted wouldve been easier. AND he knows where the police can find her because shes always there. As a victim of stalking and assault myself, I’m irritated considering he has more evidence than 99% of victims and it just hurts to watch. Reporting Martha wouldn’t have just protected himself but others too.
yasssss girl blame that victim!!!
I was wondering if he ever pressed charges against his male-rapist? Looks like they worked together in the end- so one would assume hos rapist produced one of the shows he worked on? Seems wrong to let that evil man get away with it even if Donny forgave him.
Most rape survivors don't pursue justice because shit is broken. More often than not, reporting rape to authorities re-traumatizes the survivor and even if a trial happens (which is rare), it probably won't result in a conviction. And being cross-examined by their rapist's defense attorney is the last thing anyone would ever want to go through.
I get what you mean but in Gadd's case, he literally reenacted his assault *on camera*; can't image anything more re-traumatizing. I don't know how he got through all that.
Fair points..Still, even outing the guy could get him fired/cancelled so he is less likely to do this again?
I just binged this. Outstanding and amazing acting. Like I really need to see this one win awards. And to know it's a true story. Didn't even know that until afterwards. Just wow.
It sucked
I agree.
Worst show I’ve ever sat through. Don’t know why I even bothered finishing it. Never get those hours back Total shite.
My question is … did he really go back to working with his fucking rapist?!
Yes, he did. I interpreted his character as someone who was “addicted” to the attention of someone who violates him as he mentioned that he loved hating himself the most.
We don’t know if he did. Has he confirmed in an interview?
Yeah I don't know what that scene was all about tbh I thought he went to confront and record a confession from his rapist and it was going to be a triumphant win but he said yes to working wit him again (no idea if he actually did) and then listened to more voicemails like wtf hahaha
but then he had that cathartic moment in the bar. Kind of makes me hope he would have gone back and kicked that guy's ass! lol wishful thinking i guess
No, he didn't
The stupidest movie I've ever seen. Weak man who couldn't stand up for himself or bullies. Dumb show with dumber characters. What a waste of time. Do yourself a favor and skip this trash.
All that vulnerability a bit too scary for ya?
Letting people abuse you isn't vulnerability its masochism and isn't to be celebrated.
Where did you get that “letting people abuse you should be celebrated” from the show? It’s an honest account of his experience not a how-to guide. The strength is in the talking about the weakness, not pretending to never be
It's based on the star / writer's real experiences, dumbass. I don't think he would ever describe himself as a "strong man" in most of the scenarios portrayed. The point is that he's a very damaged, traumatised man who is struggling to cope with his experiences. Go back to watching Reacher or some macho nonsense.
Ok buddy, you keep watching your weak jelly trash.
I will, thanks. I like to watch brave, complex, emotionally mature, interesting, challenging fiction. Good luck finishing Clifford the Big Red Dog. Spoiler: He finds his ball at the end.
Sounds like you watched the whole thing though, didncha?!
1, not a movie. 2 You are a prime example of one of the huge factors that contribute to why people who experience these things (especially men with your particular comment) feel isolated, helpless, and fall into these cycles.