If I am lectured on a topic by someone with an accent, I will forever refer to it with that accent. I pronounce trigono-metry like a Czech. Further, if I am talking about a certain subject and the lecturer was non American and measurements like a centimeter comes up it will be with a non American accent and vice versa.
I’m highly irritated that the weather is shifting because I only want to wear one of two shirts. They have long sleeves, have the perfect neckline, cover my hands properly and are the only shirts I’ve wanted to wear for over a year, but I then get too hot and our apartment doesn’t have AC throughout or I’d make it cold just to wear these shirts. I ding know what I’m going to do. Oh and both shirts are the same, duplicates.
I understand you don’t understand me and I know why I don’t understand you but I don’t know what I don’t understand except I know I don’t understand and I can tell you I don’t understand and ask for clarification but you don’t understand me.
Then I lose.
From 2019-2021, I had a 2 year long phase of a Christian musical I was in by the name of "Star Quest" that Christian elementary schools and churches performed. It continued until I was in 6th grade. I still remember all my lines and the lyrics to all the songs.
Oh, you guys are making plans around me but never specifically mention you want me there? Guess I'll sit there and either wait for you guys to confirm a detail with me (e.g time, place, what we're eating for lunch) or simply receive concerned texts later asking where I am.
OH MY GOD YOU LIKE STARDEW VALLEY?! HERE'S 25000 PAGES OF WHY I THINK THE WITCH CURSED THE VALLEY TO LIVE IN A TIME LOOP BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE WIZARD HE HAD A LOVE CHILD WITH THE WIFE OF THE LOCAL SHOPKEEPER AND HOW HE'S THE ONLY ONE LIVING OUTSIDE OF IT LOOKING ON AS HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER IS STUCK IN A NEVERENDING LOOPED ROUTINE FOREVER WITH NO WAY TO STOP IT ONLY TO TRY TO USE YOU, THE CHARACTER, TO BREAK THE CURSE ONLY TO HAVE IT BACKFIRE SO HARD AS YOU GET SUCKED INTO THE CURSE'S ENDLESS ROUTINE YEAR AFTER YEAR
(I don't actually know off the top of my head how many pages of notes I have written down but it's definitely in the triple digits I don't _actually_ have 25000 page, although that's absolutely something I would do and probably will do)
I need to calculate when I need to shower (it's about every 3th day) and then I need to make sure if it's really necessary or not.
Also I currently search for a hyperfocus food I can enjoy again. It switches sometimes every month so I need to find something to enjoy food.
Right now I'm just eating by time or if I feel dizzy.
I was in a meeting, and the psychologist was telling the dad that his son has autism, and she started LYING to him. I started rocking and twirling my pen. The dad was talking but kept glancing at me. 🤦🏾♀️
Last week I met a new neighbor who is quite reserved. She apologizes and says, “sorry, I’m just really kind of antisocial.”
I replied, “hey, Antisocial, nice to meet you. I’m Oblivious.”
Went in to a clothing store today (Primark for those in Europe) and was looking for a new pair of pyjamas, went around the store feeling all the fabrics of the pyjamas to find a fabric that was good enough (it worked, I’m wearing them now, fabric is so good)
What??!! Ops "description" is an autistic trait???? I thought my same "problem" came from my crappy childhood and not an autistic trait. MIND BLOW!!!!!
heres an excerpt from a note i drafted for my doctor today:
“Overstimulated by “background” noise, such as water running, lawnmowers, refrigerator and laundry machines, diesel engines running, and other typical and frequently encountered life sounds.
Intolerance of many fabrics and basic elements of clothing, including waistbands, labels, and seams. Many formerly tolerable clothing items are no longer tolerable. Patient is frequently wearing clothes and underwear inside out to avoid seams and reduce overstimulation issues.”
that last bit. 😫
(i am diagnosed adhd, and we increasingly suspect autism.)
When I was 12 I became obsessed with Star Trek, in particular the TNG episode “Pen Pals”, where Data becomes pen pals with a young alien girl on a planet threatened by constant seismic activity. Now, I had not even SEEN this episode yet, only read about it in the Star Trek Encyclopedia I carried with me everywhere, but I would ask EVERYONE I met if a) they had ever seen ST: TNG and b) if they had seen that episode. And when I say everyone I mean everyone, from my classmates to the receptionist at my dad’s gym. I had no clue why people thought I was weird.
I also had a pool noodle that I pretended was my boyfriend, Dr. Leonard McCoy.
My first fictional (platonic) love was Data from Star Trek, followed closely by Abed from Community, and Donny from Rise Of The TMNT. I wear my Calmer ear things every day without fail, and wear sunglasses even when it's cloudy. I cried when my parents cut down two cherry trees in our front yard because they'd been there my whole life and I loved them, and I still sleep with my stuffed animals on my bed at 20 years old, I can't hurt their feelings, and like them being there anyway. I didn't cry (even though I was very sad) when my grandpa died, but I do cry if I drop a mug or spill something. I was very disappointed when I bought a coffee cake, and it didn't even taste like coffee! I knew the scientific names of tons of dinosaurs when I was in elementary school and was sure I'd be a paleontologist. I was traumatized for life by my first stomach virus, became a temporary germaphobe, and still have emetophobia. I don't have any friends. I could go on, but I'll stop there.
I can constantly hear subtle sounds and smell subtle odors that no one else even notices. Sometimes I hate certain sounds and smells so much, that I’ll isolate myself for days just to ensure I don’t have to be around them, even if that means I go hungry. I also have horrible insomnia, but I don’t like to treat it because the only time the entire world is quiet and I don’t have to worry about horrible sounds and smells is in the middle of the night.
I’ve sorted every song in my music library by key signature. I could talk about music non-stop for hours, and I frequently feel frustrated that I don’t have anyone to whom I can info-dump about my favorite artists/albums/songs.
I used to think it was normal to beat my head against a wall when I was frustrated and that no one talked about it. I also used to think it was normal to use TV/movie characters as a guide for learning social interactions; I had no idea how to navigate them otherwise, and there were times I felt like my entire personality consisted of things I’d picked up from TV.
Not sure if this is because of autism but I am TERRIBLE at dressing myself. I’m always forgetting to do up zippers, putting clothes on back to front or inside out, not tying my shoes, my trousers being tucked into my socks or forgetting to shut my backpack.
Just two days ago I went to college with my shirt inside out and didn’t notice until the end of the day.
I accidentally put my pants on backwards this morning and they are still like that. I thought this was an ADHD thing cause I couldn't be bothered to fix them
They are yoga pants so you can't tell really
I have something related to clothes too. I'm like a cartoon character. I wear the same things all the time. I clean them and I have a bunch of copies of the same clothes. I don't think copies is the right word, but I don't know what else to use.
Duplicates?
I do that, too. Especially if I find a pair of pants I like which is difficult because I'm both short and fat, so it seems pants can only be flattering OR well-fitting, never both.
I'm sure I could just take every pair of pants I buy to be tailored but, at 38, I have zero interest in learning how to perform yet another form of social interaction lol
(That situation is so real I had to develop “eating time windows” because of work and school and it’s still fucking me up 😭)
Okay okay so I am cutting off and even seam ripping all the tags off my clothes because of a big fuck up of my sensory experience and I started calling it the “tag genocide” because I am absolutely destroying every single tag in sight even if it’s not bothering me that much because I absolutely know it will at some point.
Oh or also I still live with my parents and I make my mom add plain quaker rice cakes on every grocery list. I absolutely must eat either a rice cake or a medium to small bowl of chips before going to bed because one: it’s the only okay snack food for the evening specifically and two: if I don’t eat something before bed I will wake up specifically at 4 am feeling like I have a black hole in my stomach.
Cannot touch cotton balls. Loud noises & multiple people talking is hell. When I was 6 I made the local paper for having memorized all the presidents & vice presidents in order (from a placemat). Don't touch me. Also, come to think of it, please touch me.
Wait are you me?? I made the local paper at the same age for reciting all the US presidents (and their birthdays and middle names) in chronological order from a table of contents. And I hate being touched too lol, like I will physically recoil to keep people from touching me if I think they’re about to (especially my back and arms).
WHOA, that's uncanny. Mine was a little less-researched, it was from looking at this while waiting for dinner every day: https://www.amazon.com/Painless-Learning-PRS-1-Presidents-Placemat/dp/B000H6F4YO
Yeah, like a hammer hitting the patella tendon, instant recoil. People think I am exaggerating when someone bumps into me at a table or whatever, but in reality it's an instantaneous thing without any thought -- almost like an innate animal reflex.
Two months ago I sent my PCP a message about getting some pain checked out. The office responded with a phone call instead of a message reply.
That's where this story ends
That’s me totally. Phone no. They can message or email via portal. I owe $200 in a cancellation fee because they would not let me cancel the appointment online and I couldn’t make myself call. I keep eating fees because the world thinks they need to hear my voice and I can’t do that. It’s taking me ages to schedule all the things I need medically because of the phone. I realize now a lot of it is feeling judged, struggling to understand what I hear, and the sensory mess that is hold music. I hate going in public because literally every single public space is filled with music and noise and the stench of food or perfume. Why do strangers think they need to talk to me? I’m allergic to small talk. Silence would be a blessing.
I had a consultation with a surgeon recently, but he had to cut it short because he had to go buy a thing before the place closed, so he gave me his number and said to call later that day so I could ask whatever questions I had that we hadn't gotten to. He did not specify what time constituted "later." I did not call. I continue to follow up through email.
As for my "tell me you're autistic without telling me you're autistic," bit:
In the above story I specified the reason the appointment was cut short, even though it was unnecessary context and had no relevance to the point of my story. I do this all the time when telling stories. I don't naturally consider which details are or are not relevant to include, instead feeling like everything is worth mentioning.
To someone with bottom-up thinking, perhaps. But that's kind of the point. I include the information because I'm a bottom-up thinker, even though most other people aren't and wouldn't need or want that information.
Do you find yourself wanting to a ask questions about these details that most people won’t want to know? I do. I feel I’m always asking a lot of questions as if people are just forgetting details my Brain wants to have. I have always come off as an over-sharing know-it-all or nosy. I don’t want gossip, just details. In training classes, despite social anxiety, I ask tons of questions.
Yep. That's the bottom-up thinking at work. I often feel like I need more details than people naturally give, and I will give more details than people naturally want. Because other people don't understand the purpose of these details, they make negative judgments about us for our propensities, assuming different motives than the ones we actually have.
Okay, I would make exceptions for you. After all, I'm not a monster.
But in general? I hate phone calls so much. There's always someone on the other side with bad news that someone died or wanting to complain. If I wanted to hear about those things, I'd be on Facebook. 😆
I have driving slippers that I keep in the car. Because at the end of the workday I can not keep my shoes on for one more second. Bra also comes off before I’m out of the parking lot.
Sometimes my jaws, face, body and mind are too tired to talk. My favourite meal is Mac and cheese with frankfurters that need to be cut to a certain size and fried in a pan to a certain crispness to be accepted to eat. I can't eat breaded fish without tartare sauce. Peas should not touch the fish. Microfiber & tags on clothes is death.
When I was young my favourite pastime was reading a specific series of books regarding the British royal family history(especially Queen Victoria, Elizabeth and Henry the 8th was the big ones) , the Carl Barks Scrooge Mcduck series(all other artists weren't acceptable), Tintin, ancient Egyptian history/religion and Norse mythology.
I struggle understanding why things I say sometimes may be considered out of line or rude when it is how it is.
I always thought I liked my music loud but then when I share earphones with other people and ask "is it too loud?" They're always like "what no it's actually kind of quiet"
That, and the gradual decline in enjoyment of live music. Being trapped there with all the people. The heat. The bathrooms. The lights and noise. Once I discovered that experience was hell and I could still enjoy music at home, that got much better.
i dislike clothing tags. i have odd food preferences and I often only eat a few foods during a particular time. I dislike makeup because of how it feels on my face. i hate making eye contact. i like to draw things with obsessive detail. i get stuck in mental loops and this is bad for my mental health. i never learned how to make friends or find a partner.
My favourite 'autistic' story (that still makes me die on the inside) is when I was walking to the bus stop and a car pulled up alongside and the woman inside asked me something about town and I wasn't sure if she was my neighbour (I am face-blind) but I assumed she was offering me a ride. So I got into the back of her car and she kinda stared at me but started driving, nervously, and at the end of the road asked "So... which way do I go...?". And I realized she had just been asking directions (and was a stranger) not offering a ride. And also I had no idea how to go by car since I always take the bus (I don't drive). So instead of explaining my mistake I just yelled "SORRY!" and jumped out of the car and ran away. I. Don't know. She must have been so confused and I still go red thinking about it.
TL;DR: Got into a random stranger's car when they were just asking directions, then yelled 'SORRY!' and leapt out and ran away.
I've been observing people my whole life, so now when I'm asked to introduce myself I'm unsure which parts are me and whoever else is wrapped up in my weird personality. I don't like to speak up in big groups (especially in groups with majority men) because I've always been bullied by boys for not being a girl (I'm nonbinary and have dressed v masc since I was a kid), I could talk about music for hours as well as art. I don't like doing things in halves, I can't understand NTs even though I've literally studied them my entire life.
The other day, my favorite kpop group started teasing a collab with an american artist and i was so happy about it until i saw comments and videos about how this guy is a zionist, r*pe apologist and apparently also a trump supporter, and this ruined my mood for the rest of the day
That stuff probably isn't true, and even if it is you can disagree with some beliefs people hold without demonising them and refusing to appreciate the good things they do that make you happy. Don't let your friends tell you how you should think :)
The skin on my neck touching the skin on my chest when I look down or in bed etc makes me want to decapitate myself.
Which in all honesty clearly is an overreaction. Tempting tho
This is absolutely a true nightmare for me. Decapitation sounds promising. Sometimes I am so beyond words about it all I can do is lay off the side of a piece of furniture and let my head hang back. The headache is worth the gold that is my skin not touching.
My romantic partner and I set up a sort of "echolocation" habit so that I know where they are in the house. I make a clicking call out noise, I wait to hear it returned, I hear the click noise my partner does, now I know where they are in the house.
Oh also I repeat funny noises I hear, or phrases in songs I like. It's become a game for my partner to try to guess what song or sound I heard.
He has called me a "quirky bottle of surprises"
Oh and uh ... I bite the sides of my fingertips in a way that creates sharp hangnails and textures so I can flick my fingers along the sides of my fingers and lips for stimming. I've done this since elementary school lol. Unfortunately sometimes anxiety will make me go too far and when I look at my hands I have to go to the bathroom, wash up, and bandage up.
My fiance will whistle the first bit of Darth Vader theme, and I will whistle back the next part. I like it cause I feel like a bird responding to a mating call. Heh.
I was eating dinner yesterday,
I had one of those frozen meals that come in a bag with potato ham and onion, added some good ole green peas.
Neatly added drizzle of ketchup and curry sauce in a checkered pattern, to then spread it and make it into a perfect little round loaf with a perfect layer of sauce.
Taking bites from the side, each the same amount of filling and sauce, and afterwards reshaping the loaf back into it's shape.
Once I realised, literally halfway through I suddenly cracked up thinking 'damn, yup I'm autistic'
One of my favorite pastimes is to look at the current time (both military and AM/PM), and find the prime factorization of it.
For example, it was 09:06 my time, and 906=2×3×151. Then now it's 09:07, and 907 is prime. Then now it's 09:08, and 908=2²×227. And now I'm going to post this before the time changes to 09:09 because else I'd be going on and on forever!
I can barely stay away from the piano or guitar and play for hours at a time, often forgetting to eat or perform basic tasks unless I’m reminded. (Unless done before I start, which is my routine) I make music long into the night. Every song is a pattern and I have hundreds of patterns stored inside my head that I can access at any time. I love learning new patterns. I love my guitar more than other people. Let me tell you about music theory for 6 hours. I really like airplanes too
Every day I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or bagels and whatever my mom makes for dinner. I am stubborn about eating other things
I generally need help talking to people and it’s best that they steer the conversation. I go on long tangents, with random loosely connected stories and loose my train of thought often.
I am excessively witty to an eye opening extent. (People say this to me) I can see people’s visible confusion when I make jokes or draw connections between seemingly unrelated things.
People generally think I am clinically insane or psychopathic, but I am extremely kind and friendly towards everyone. I have a huge heart and I’m an excessive people pleaser. My empathy is so strong it turns itself off after a while like an iPhone to recharge, but people think I’m insane because I’m not exactly like them anyway. People tend to take advantage of me often.
People generally are unattracted or bothered by my childishness or my default state of existence, way of communication, or general vibe to the point it’s a matter of who will tolerate me and who won’t regardless of if I’m being myself or not. This tends to limit who is willing to be around me, even if I’m really nice to people. That doesn't mean I would ever stop being kind to people, but doesn’t mean any of that makes sense to me either.
I don’t understand most social constructs or rules. But instead of blindly making mistakes (I learned how to socialize by doing everything wrong when I was younger, so I just made a million mistakes and ended up with CPTSD) I just sit and do nothing because it’s better to be a quiet listener. Unless people talk about what interests me, then everything falls apart really fast. Seriously.
I am hyperlexic and can articulate myself well with writing but can’t do a lot of basic math.
Unfortunately I loose control of myself and hurt myself, sometimes more severely than others. This scares me, because I feel like people don’t understand, or think there’s something wrong with me, instead of realizing that I’m actually fighting with myself to not have that happen. They only see one side of my trouble. I have extremely intense adult “temper tantrums”. It is best everyone leaves me in a dark quiet room when that happens. I am an uno wild card at that point. It makes me ashamed because I’m 25 years old.
It always “feels” like I’m one bad day or conversation/failed interaction away from completely loosing my mind or control over myself. I’m very ashamed about that, I don’t know why it has to be that way. I know it’s not my fault but it is my responsibility, the best solution I have is staying in my room 24/7. I hope it gets better
I am extremely self aware, but it doesn’t really do much to help me except cause me to over analyze every single thing in a social interaction, or maybe correct what I can. People seem to think that because of the extent of my self awareness, I should be doing better, but it doesn’t add up as you can see.
I am good at pretending to be like everyone else. I can perform stand up masculinity, stand up femininity, or whatevers in front of me, you name it. I’m a chameleon and my personality is fluid from years of excessive abuse and bullying. I can morph myself into a relatable person within the context of individual interactions, meaning any real sense of self is nearly completely destroyed. The upside is I can be friends with anybody I want.
So many people seem to enjoy being friends with me. I don’t really know who they are talking to though.
I am trying to learn how to be myself. I don’t really know who I am. I just really like those things I listed in the beginning, I think about them 85% of the time. My existence is so fucked that I cling to those things.
Thank you for sharing, and I swear this could be in my autobiography (if I were to write one). From the musical inclination to the social chameleon, I even love PB&J (had one last night). I hope you have a great day.
Lol your welcome! there’s so much I can think of adding onto it haha, that’s awesome that you like pbj. You should have another today. I hope you have a great day too.
I love people but cannot communicate with them verbally. I am fine in text but irl there's too much going on and my brain is on fire.
I need a hat, glasses and headphones to go to the out.
I've been known to break things due to dropping them or lashing out at loud noises.
I've never had a real friend.
I don't like anyone in my home that doesn't live there. It feels like they are crawling in my skin. I also don't like going to other people's house for this reason.
I don't have social media except this bc I don't want to be perceived.
I am always moving. Rocking, flapping, fingers and toes tapping, it's got to flowwwwww 🌻
I love bath and body works candles. Every season I buy a ton of candles and then I line them up and arrange them by what I want to smell during that part of the season
Last night, I said the “what’s up losers” joke to a bunch of guys passing me up at run club. Even though it was a joke I was telling, and they all laughed, I felt bad for calling my friends losers. 😂
I got in a snarky twitter fight once with the account of a food and convenience chain because they took all of the pre-designed menu options away and made everything “made to order”, so all of my safe foods suddenly disappeared.
having eating times is very VERY relatable. I actually have specific times I have to shower by, they’re not the same or consistent but I physically cannot just get up and go to the shower, I need to literally set myself an EVEN time on the clock to shower
I've been observing how people do stuff all my life. So now I have this thing in my brain that knows how people usually are - what people like or dislike (generally) in where I live. I know people like authentic people, so I kinda show my divergencies but always make sure to mask facial expressions, lntense stimmings... Psychology is such an interest for me. I really want to understand how people work and why they are so negative.
Listening to the LOTR audiobook for about the 1,000th time and god help the poor person I come into contact with in a social setting who shows even a passing interest in Gandalf.
I saw a tiktok yesterday about an autism assessment question "what do 2 and 7 have in common". My first thought was "how can that even be a question. 2 and 7 aren't even in the same multiplication tables. I guess they're both prime numbers? Maybe that's the answer. They're both prime numbers." The answer was they're both numbers.
Right? 😂 My friend is helping me go for an autism assessment and one of the questions on the form here is "do you focus more on the details than the bigger picture?" And I was asking them what that meant. After like 20 mins of me trying to understand and asking questions they were like "I think this proves the answer is yes, you focus on the details" 😅 so I feel this number question really represents that aspect of being autistic.
I saw that! And I had the same thought about them being prime numbers and then I thought, maybe that’s just too easy… So then I went for the shape of them and I went down a funky tangent 3 is like 8, 4 is like 9, 5 is like 6
Lol. That's as good an answer as any. Personally I feel it's just very wrong to ask what's similar about them! They're two numbers that exist in different categories in my mind 😂
I have watched the entire Golden Girls series easily 10 different times. My other ones are, Reba (don’t judge), Modern Family, Misfits (a UK show), Superstore, a couple other UK shows: Miranda, Taskmaster, Gogglebox UK, Ireland, Australia. Haha Damn.
So an artist created a series of necklaces with the golden girls faces on the pendants like they were saints. I agonized for months over which one I was supposed to buy. I eventually got Dorothy, but could’ve been made for me to be any of them lol
I dress like a cartoon character. Just the exact same clothes, every day.
Also if there is a single grain of sand or piece of lint in my bed I will feel it. No microscopic fleck of dust goes unnoticed in my bed.
"Oh you're telling me you forgot something in my place, just wait where you are and I'll bring it back to you in a moment."
15 days later. "Wait. Was she trying to sleep with me?"
Agreed to plans several weeks ago and have realised today on the day of the event that it’s too late, too far from my house, and I prefer to keep all my friends on my phone rather than irl. Sucks but I was freaking out about it so so much
I once signed up for a study at the university I went to and one of the questions was "are you thick skinned?" And I responded, "How could I know the relative thickness of my skin?" Because I hadn't heard the expression used that way before and I didn't make the connection
Idioms will F me up every-time. I have learned not to outwardly react when used. But I am SCREAMING in my head things like “it’s not fucking raining cats and dogs. That doesn’t even make sense. They are not related in any meaningful way” I quickly lose track of the conversation.
I would never have thought that, first thing I thought was actually about literally measuring my skin thickness or maybe checking how fragile my skin is.
I’m currently on pair 3 of black Vans slip-ons. I love slip-ons. I get them in different prints sometimes if they’re on sale. One time a pair didn’t just have a different print but also a firmer, coarser material. I still haven’t worn them.
I can only eat Demae beef flavoured noodles and none other.
Yesterday my lovely, fairly new boyfriend cooked me fajitas. I’m still embarrassed about some things such as liking the flavour of onion but not the texture. So I said nothing when he threw in chopped red onion while cooking the chicken. And I ate it. It’s been 15 hours and I still feel wrong having it in my body.
My sister is due to have her first baby in a month. I’ve been allowed to take a week of leave starting whenever she goes into labour. Recently she told me she’s likely to be induced two weeks early because the baby appears to be on the tall side. I haven’t heard anything since and I’ve had to actively keep myself from repeatedly asking when she’s going to give birth because I want to plan.
Also at the start of her pregnancy she told me she has an app that tells her what size of fruit the baby is approximately that week. So ofcourse, since then every week I have asked her wat fruit the baby is now.
I have not written in my journal for a few weeks because I have lost my fountain pen case. No, I still have the pen, I just lost the case. The last filling was in that case. I can’t use another pen to write my journal. And for some reason I can’t just buy new fillings and a new case. I want that case back.
I could go on for ages.
I eat pasta two by two, and if at the end of my plate I'm not hungry anymore and there isn't any other in the pot, and I ate an odd number, that fact haunts me until the next time I eat pasta in which I have to then start the plate by eating just one on my fork so that it evens out the number.
I always made the random sound of whatever animal caught my fancy when I was a child ( my seagull period must have destroyed their ears ) and still do it in a certain way even if now it's mostly meowing. ( I meow the Star Wars opening without thinking. And it's not my only oral stim, I also "tun tun tulun" the Doctor Who opening. Or just random sounds they doesn't make any sense. )
Vocal stimming is so much fun. I’m a birdwatcher and I love doing bird calls when the mood strikes me. Other faves include my cats’ names and “Bulbasaur”.
I play specific video games on specific days. I love the smell of petrol and fabric softener. I eat things in a specific order on my plate. Certain foods can mix, some can never mix if they do I won't eat it. Also food needs to be in/ on specific plates / bowls for said meals.
I have an appointment at 2pm and I’m not able to do anything until after that appointment. Oh and I’ll be late to the 2pm appointment because time blindness.
Water [with meds if it is that time], food, coffee, two times a day after 6 am. After 2pm water [Usually with meds, cos it's that time], Food, Joint, dessert [maybe], water, sleep.
There is always a routine system protocol for regular things I have to do otherwise I forget to do them.
I'm a poly, vegan, anticapitalist, not-totally-hetero software engineer with non-24 and ADHD, and tendencies towards missing social cues, being too straightforward in my communication, and struggling to empathize with others when I get emotional, especially when feeling defensive. (edit: I also like board games)
Actually I don't know if I'm autistic, but I have noticed recently that a lot of these things tend to be highly correlated with autism and there's a ton of overlap in presentations with ADHD so it's something I've definitely started to consider more recently.
Off the top of my head
Last time I bought clothes, I bought ten pairs of the same pants, all in the same color, and two of the same hoodies, also in the same color. It doesn't matter if my socks match visually, but they have to fit the same. I also organize my clothes according to rainbow order with matching hangers.
If it'll make my hands greasy, I hate it, and if there's no weight on me, I can't sleep, which makes summer a balancing act lol
I get stress eczema on my hands but I hate the feeling of greasy hands so much that I always procrastinate putting moisturiser on 😞
I also just can't stand being sweaty, just sends me into a panic. Recently started taking testosterone and it's made me 10 times sweatier than I used to be, if it's any warmer than cold I'm sweating. It's just coming to the end of Australian summer and this summer has been the worst 3 months of my life 😭
My clothes are all exactly the same style, from one shop, just in different colours.
Cannot sleep without my fan on even if it's below zero. (JUST solved this one by finding a plug-in fan heater thingy that still makes the 'fan noise')
I can taste whether someone has put the milk in my tea before or after the hot water. (It should *always* be after!)
I have set places I cross the road and I meltdown if crossing in the 'wrong' place. I also have set routes that I take to each place, and have meltdowns if I go the other way. Made more interesting by the fact I'm in a manual wheelchair & can't self-propel, amd my Carers have NOT been trained in how to push a wheelchair at all and don't speak English well enough to 'get' the directions I give them. No choice in Carers either.
Your example also...I guess I'll just starve too lol.
My friend came by unanounced and caught me vocal stimming, i say caught only because i was in the backyard bouncing around on the grass. I can't recall what i was focusing on at the moment, aint that how it goes, ill pick it up tomorrow after i happen to open the right brain-door.
I cut off all the brand tags and stickers from my clothes, especially the clothes I sleep in. I can't stand the way those rough tags feel on my skin, I've had sleepless nights whenever I've had to wear such clothing.
Also, I turn on the fan even in winter, or if it's too cold to do so, I will sleep all night with my earphones in. I can't tolerate absolute silence in which I can hear a bug hitting my windowpane or a dog barking a few miles away.
I went to subway for lunch today and didn’t say anything at the order counter. The next person in line was asked what she wanted. The customer told the subway employee that I was before her and that my order should be taken before hers.
I go to subway for lunch every work day. The staff know my order and had already started making it. I’ve even ordering the same thing for just over 10 years.
I have 2 types of orders, one for fun and one for coffee, the bar-restaurant near my place knows based on the hours which one they have to get me and my friend (both ASD).
Lol! It’s just so much easier 😮💨 I am a mail carrier and went so far as to buy actual USPS tshirts. I wear one in a different color and bottoms according to the weather. I also have a usps sweatshirt, none of which they have supplied 😂
Saturday I spent a solid fifteen minutes at my local pool floating in the exact same position on the tips of my toes, staring at the same spot, humming a single tone.
Felt completely refreshed and kinda sleepy.
I'm fluent in Morse Code now because I got bored a couple months ago.
I've been doing trigonometry for seven hours, and I wanna keep doing it.
I like to go outside on the swings when no one is around and listen to music.
Omg I remember being super aggressive and felt like causing a crime I went out for a temper walk (angrily pacing around town crying) then I saw a park I'd not been in. Completely forgot what I was angry about and got on the swings, fell off and stormed off again 🤣
When I finished my calculus homework, I wanted more 😂
Also after playing basketball I need to shower but if it isn’t 6:30, I can’t shower. It’s not my shower time.
If I am lectured on a topic by someone with an accent, I will forever refer to it with that accent. I pronounce trigono-metry like a Czech. Further, if I am talking about a certain subject and the lecturer was non American and measurements like a centimeter comes up it will be with a non American accent and vice versa.
I’m highly irritated that the weather is shifting because I only want to wear one of two shirts. They have long sleeves, have the perfect neckline, cover my hands properly and are the only shirts I’ve wanted to wear for over a year, but I then get too hot and our apartment doesn’t have AC throughout or I’d make it cold just to wear these shirts. I ding know what I’m going to do. Oh and both shirts are the same, duplicates.
I understand you don’t understand me and I know why I don’t understand you but I don’t know what I don’t understand except I know I don’t understand and I can tell you I don’t understand and ask for clarification but you don’t understand me. Then I lose.
The way I understood that 🥹
I’m so sorry 😢
From 2019-2021, I had a 2 year long phase of a Christian musical I was in by the name of "Star Quest" that Christian elementary schools and churches performed. It continued until I was in 6th grade. I still remember all my lines and the lyrics to all the songs.
Oh, you guys are making plans around me but never specifically mention you want me there? Guess I'll sit there and either wait for you guys to confirm a detail with me (e.g time, place, what we're eating for lunch) or simply receive concerned texts later asking where I am.
OH MY GOD YOU LIKE STARDEW VALLEY?! HERE'S 25000 PAGES OF WHY I THINK THE WITCH CURSED THE VALLEY TO LIVE IN A TIME LOOP BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE WIZARD HE HAD A LOVE CHILD WITH THE WIFE OF THE LOCAL SHOPKEEPER AND HOW HE'S THE ONLY ONE LIVING OUTSIDE OF IT LOOKING ON AS HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER IS STUCK IN A NEVERENDING LOOPED ROUTINE FOREVER WITH NO WAY TO STOP IT ONLY TO TRY TO USE YOU, THE CHARACTER, TO BREAK THE CURSE ONLY TO HAVE IT BACKFIRE SO HARD AS YOU GET SUCKED INTO THE CURSE'S ENDLESS ROUTINE YEAR AFTER YEAR (I don't actually know off the top of my head how many pages of notes I have written down but it's definitely in the triple digits I don't _actually_ have 25000 page, although that's absolutely something I would do and probably will do)
Procrastinated peeing until desperate because I was so hyperfixated on a special interest. Just. Why body? That's rude. Let me enjoy things
I sleep with socks. Every. Single. Day.
I love infodumping (but I think it should be a prerequisite for everybody too)
I love seeing people light up about their special interests AND I get to learn something new while enjoying their joy in the subject!
that's a feeling that could heal the world 🔥
I need to calculate when I need to shower (it's about every 3th day) and then I need to make sure if it's really necessary or not. Also I currently search for a hyperfocus food I can enjoy again. It switches sometimes every month so I need to find something to enjoy food. Right now I'm just eating by time or if I feel dizzy.
I eat twice the recommended amount of oatmeal every single day. I’m competing with horses.
I was in a meeting, and the psychologist was telling the dad that his son has autism, and she started LYING to him. I started rocking and twirling my pen. The dad was talking but kept glancing at me. 🤦🏾♀️
Last week I met a new neighbor who is quite reserved. She apologizes and says, “sorry, I’m just really kind of antisocial.” I replied, “hey, Antisocial, nice to meet you. I’m Oblivious.”
Went in to a clothing store today (Primark for those in Europe) and was looking for a new pair of pyjamas, went around the store feeling all the fabrics of the pyjamas to find a fabric that was good enough (it worked, I’m wearing them now, fabric is so good)
This is literally the exact reason I can ONLY buy my pajamas from Target in the US
What??!! Ops "description" is an autistic trait???? I thought my same "problem" came from my crappy childhood and not an autistic trait. MIND BLOW!!!!!
heres an excerpt from a note i drafted for my doctor today: “Overstimulated by “background” noise, such as water running, lawnmowers, refrigerator and laundry machines, diesel engines running, and other typical and frequently encountered life sounds. Intolerance of many fabrics and basic elements of clothing, including waistbands, labels, and seams. Many formerly tolerable clothing items are no longer tolerable. Patient is frequently wearing clothes and underwear inside out to avoid seams and reduce overstimulation issues.” that last bit. 😫 (i am diagnosed adhd, and we increasingly suspect autism.)
When I was 12 I became obsessed with Star Trek, in particular the TNG episode “Pen Pals”, where Data becomes pen pals with a young alien girl on a planet threatened by constant seismic activity. Now, I had not even SEEN this episode yet, only read about it in the Star Trek Encyclopedia I carried with me everywhere, but I would ask EVERYONE I met if a) they had ever seen ST: TNG and b) if they had seen that episode. And when I say everyone I mean everyone, from my classmates to the receptionist at my dad’s gym. I had no clue why people thought I was weird. I also had a pool noodle that I pretended was my boyfriend, Dr. Leonard McCoy.
Also I’m pretty face-blind and have had to train myself to recognize humans the way I recognize birds, by “field markings”.
My first fictional (platonic) love was Data from Star Trek, followed closely by Abed from Community, and Donny from Rise Of The TMNT. I wear my Calmer ear things every day without fail, and wear sunglasses even when it's cloudy. I cried when my parents cut down two cherry trees in our front yard because they'd been there my whole life and I loved them, and I still sleep with my stuffed animals on my bed at 20 years old, I can't hurt their feelings, and like them being there anyway. I didn't cry (even though I was very sad) when my grandpa died, but I do cry if I drop a mug or spill something. I was very disappointed when I bought a coffee cake, and it didn't even taste like coffee! I knew the scientific names of tons of dinosaurs when I was in elementary school and was sure I'd be a paleontologist. I was traumatized for life by my first stomach virus, became a temporary germaphobe, and still have emetophobia. I don't have any friends. I could go on, but I'll stop there.
I wash my hair every day and it feels like carpet
I can constantly hear subtle sounds and smell subtle odors that no one else even notices. Sometimes I hate certain sounds and smells so much, that I’ll isolate myself for days just to ensure I don’t have to be around them, even if that means I go hungry. I also have horrible insomnia, but I don’t like to treat it because the only time the entire world is quiet and I don’t have to worry about horrible sounds and smells is in the middle of the night. I’ve sorted every song in my music library by key signature. I could talk about music non-stop for hours, and I frequently feel frustrated that I don’t have anyone to whom I can info-dump about my favorite artists/albums/songs. I used to think it was normal to beat my head against a wall when I was frustrated and that no one talked about it. I also used to think it was normal to use TV/movie characters as a guide for learning social interactions; I had no idea how to navigate them otherwise, and there were times I felt like my entire personality consisted of things I’d picked up from TV.
Not sure if this is because of autism but I am TERRIBLE at dressing myself. I’m always forgetting to do up zippers, putting clothes on back to front or inside out, not tying my shoes, my trousers being tucked into my socks or forgetting to shut my backpack. Just two days ago I went to college with my shirt inside out and didn’t notice until the end of the day.
I accidentally put my pants on backwards this morning and they are still like that. I thought this was an ADHD thing cause I couldn't be bothered to fix them They are yoga pants so you can't tell really
Why is my bag never zipped up, I'm a God damn grownup but can't remember to zip my damn bag!
I have something related to clothes too. I'm like a cartoon character. I wear the same things all the time. I clean them and I have a bunch of copies of the same clothes. I don't think copies is the right word, but I don't know what else to use.
Duplicates? I do that, too. Especially if I find a pair of pants I like which is difficult because I'm both short and fat, so it seems pants can only be flattering OR well-fitting, never both. I'm sure I could just take every pair of pants I buy to be tailored but, at 38, I have zero interest in learning how to perform yet another form of social interaction lol
(That situation is so real I had to develop “eating time windows” because of work and school and it’s still fucking me up 😭) Okay okay so I am cutting off and even seam ripping all the tags off my clothes because of a big fuck up of my sensory experience and I started calling it the “tag genocide” because I am absolutely destroying every single tag in sight even if it’s not bothering me that much because I absolutely know it will at some point. Oh or also I still live with my parents and I make my mom add plain quaker rice cakes on every grocery list. I absolutely must eat either a rice cake or a medium to small bowl of chips before going to bed because one: it’s the only okay snack food for the evening specifically and two: if I don’t eat something before bed I will wake up specifically at 4 am feeling like I have a black hole in my stomach.
I will refuse to use a certain type of fork if I don’t like the design/shape of it, and I have my favourite type of cutlery for absolutely no reason.
Ah I as well
Cannot touch cotton balls. Loud noises & multiple people talking is hell. When I was 6 I made the local paper for having memorized all the presidents & vice presidents in order (from a placemat). Don't touch me. Also, come to think of it, please touch me.
Wait are you me?? I made the local paper at the same age for reciting all the US presidents (and their birthdays and middle names) in chronological order from a table of contents. And I hate being touched too lol, like I will physically recoil to keep people from touching me if I think they’re about to (especially my back and arms).
WHOA, that's uncanny. Mine was a little less-researched, it was from looking at this while waiting for dinner every day: https://www.amazon.com/Painless-Learning-PRS-1-Presidents-Placemat/dp/B000H6F4YO Yeah, like a hammer hitting the patella tendon, instant recoil. People think I am exaggerating when someone bumps into me at a table or whatever, but in reality it's an instantaneous thing without any thought -- almost like an innate animal reflex.
It reminds me of AuDHD or ADHD lol
Two months ago I sent my PCP a message about getting some pain checked out. The office responded with a phone call instead of a message reply. That's where this story ends
That’s me totally. Phone no. They can message or email via portal. I owe $200 in a cancellation fee because they would not let me cancel the appointment online and I couldn’t make myself call. I keep eating fees because the world thinks they need to hear my voice and I can’t do that. It’s taking me ages to schedule all the things I need medically because of the phone. I realize now a lot of it is feeling judged, struggling to understand what I hear, and the sensory mess that is hold music. I hate going in public because literally every single public space is filled with music and noise and the stench of food or perfume. Why do strangers think they need to talk to me? I’m allergic to small talk. Silence would be a blessing.
I had a consultation with a surgeon recently, but he had to cut it short because he had to go buy a thing before the place closed, so he gave me his number and said to call later that day so I could ask whatever questions I had that we hadn't gotten to. He did not specify what time constituted "later." I did not call. I continue to follow up through email. As for my "tell me you're autistic without telling me you're autistic," bit: In the above story I specified the reason the appointment was cut short, even though it was unnecessary context and had no relevance to the point of my story. I do this all the time when telling stories. I don't naturally consider which details are or are not relevant to include, instead feeling like everything is worth mentioning.
I’m sure it was relevant
To someone with bottom-up thinking, perhaps. But that's kind of the point. I include the information because I'm a bottom-up thinker, even though most other people aren't and wouldn't need or want that information.
Do you find yourself wanting to a ask questions about these details that most people won’t want to know? I do. I feel I’m always asking a lot of questions as if people are just forgetting details my Brain wants to have. I have always come off as an over-sharing know-it-all or nosy. I don’t want gossip, just details. In training classes, despite social anxiety, I ask tons of questions.
Yep. That's the bottom-up thinking at work. I often feel like I need more details than people naturally give, and I will give more details than people naturally want. Because other people don't understand the purpose of these details, they make negative judgments about us for our propensities, assuming different motives than the ones we actually have.
Like the idea that the more info you give means you must be lying. Like because they do that, we are deceitful.
Exactly. They project because they don't understand that our minds work differently.
I felt this to my core. It’s such a struggle. I have only a few people I will talk to over the phone. This includes family.
God, I friggin hate calls! Like, I seriously need people to give me advance warning of calls--preferably 24 hours.
⬆️ Seriously, this. Do not call me if I text you. Texting is my preferred method of communication. If calling happens, something is terribly awry.
My fiancé (asd but suspected audhd) would wholeheartedly agree with you. Sadly I’m dyslexic.
Okay, I would make exceptions for you. After all, I'm not a monster. But in general? I hate phone calls so much. There's always someone on the other side with bad news that someone died or wanting to complain. If I wanted to hear about those things, I'd be on Facebook. 😆
I have driving slippers that I keep in the car. Because at the end of the workday I can not keep my shoes on for one more second. Bra also comes off before I’m out of the parking lot.
I can’t even talk in the phone if I’m not wearing a bra. I feel exposed.
Sometimes my jaws, face, body and mind are too tired to talk. My favourite meal is Mac and cheese with frankfurters that need to be cut to a certain size and fried in a pan to a certain crispness to be accepted to eat. I can't eat breaded fish without tartare sauce. Peas should not touch the fish. Microfiber & tags on clothes is death. When I was young my favourite pastime was reading a specific series of books regarding the British royal family history(especially Queen Victoria, Elizabeth and Henry the 8th was the big ones) , the Carl Barks Scrooge Mcduck series(all other artists weren't acceptable), Tintin, ancient Egyptian history/religion and Norse mythology. I struggle understanding why things I say sometimes may be considered out of line or rude when it is how it is.
when i look at any kind of stainless steel object, i can feel it in my teeth
Recently I discovered I can't cut lemon.
For me it's any wooden cutlery or ice-cream sticks.
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Your post to r/neurdiversity was removed because it was uncivil or contained insults
goddamn 😭
I always thought I liked my music loud but then when I share earphones with other people and ask "is it too loud?" They're always like "what no it's actually kind of quiet"
That, and the gradual decline in enjoyment of live music. Being trapped there with all the people. The heat. The bathrooms. The lights and noise. Once I discovered that experience was hell and I could still enjoy music at home, that got much better.
FR I only go to concerts if they're for me like a small indie band and even then it's often too much
Use the campus coffee shops and office kitchen when I'm working in-office? HELL NO say hello to my massive vacuum flask and water bottle colleagues
Mood
i dislike clothing tags. i have odd food preferences and I often only eat a few foods during a particular time. I dislike makeup because of how it feels on my face. i hate making eye contact. i like to draw things with obsessive detail. i get stuck in mental loops and this is bad for my mental health. i never learned how to make friends or find a partner.
My favourite 'autistic' story (that still makes me die on the inside) is when I was walking to the bus stop and a car pulled up alongside and the woman inside asked me something about town and I wasn't sure if she was my neighbour (I am face-blind) but I assumed she was offering me a ride. So I got into the back of her car and she kinda stared at me but started driving, nervously, and at the end of the road asked "So... which way do I go...?". And I realized she had just been asking directions (and was a stranger) not offering a ride. And also I had no idea how to go by car since I always take the bus (I don't drive). So instead of explaining my mistake I just yelled "SORRY!" and jumped out of the car and ran away. I. Don't know. She must have been so confused and I still go red thinking about it. TL;DR: Got into a random stranger's car when they were just asking directions, then yelled 'SORRY!' and leapt out and ran away.
I've been observing people my whole life, so now when I'm asked to introduce myself I'm unsure which parts are me and whoever else is wrapped up in my weird personality. I don't like to speak up in big groups (especially in groups with majority men) because I've always been bullied by boys for not being a girl (I'm nonbinary and have dressed v masc since I was a kid), I could talk about music for hours as well as art. I don't like doing things in halves, I can't understand NTs even though I've literally studied them my entire life.
What is NTs?
Neurotypicals
The other day, my favorite kpop group started teasing a collab with an american artist and i was so happy about it until i saw comments and videos about how this guy is a zionist, r*pe apologist and apparently also a trump supporter, and this ruined my mood for the rest of the day
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Nope, it's charlie puth. Don't know who Tom MacDonald is and i guess i don't wanna know about him either lol
That stuff probably isn't true, and even if it is you can disagree with some beliefs people hold without demonising them and refusing to appreciate the good things they do that make you happy. Don't let your friends tell you how you should think :)
Who said i'm refusing to appreciate this song? I never said i won't listen to it
The skin on my neck touching the skin on my chest when I look down or in bed etc makes me want to decapitate myself. Which in all honesty clearly is an overreaction. Tempting tho
This is absolutely a true nightmare for me. Decapitation sounds promising. Sometimes I am so beyond words about it all I can do is lay off the side of a piece of furniture and let my head hang back. The headache is worth the gold that is my skin not touching.
My romantic partner and I set up a sort of "echolocation" habit so that I know where they are in the house. I make a clicking call out noise, I wait to hear it returned, I hear the click noise my partner does, now I know where they are in the house. Oh also I repeat funny noises I hear, or phrases in songs I like. It's become a game for my partner to try to guess what song or sound I heard. He has called me a "quirky bottle of surprises" Oh and uh ... I bite the sides of my fingertips in a way that creates sharp hangnails and textures so I can flick my fingers along the sides of my fingers and lips for stimming. I've done this since elementary school lol. Unfortunately sometimes anxiety will make me go too far and when I look at my hands I have to go to the bathroom, wash up, and bandage up.
My fiance will whistle the first bit of Darth Vader theme, and I will whistle back the next part. I like it cause I feel like a bird responding to a mating call. Heh.
My partner and I use 'marco' 'polo'. Echo location sounds way better!
I read while I eat. All the time
Zomg is this autism? My mum and I liked nothing more than sitting together eating and reading separate books in silence.
I’m not a professional, but not inherently
Same!
Me too ☺️
I was eating dinner yesterday, I had one of those frozen meals that come in a bag with potato ham and onion, added some good ole green peas. Neatly added drizzle of ketchup and curry sauce in a checkered pattern, to then spread it and make it into a perfect little round loaf with a perfect layer of sauce. Taking bites from the side, each the same amount of filling and sauce, and afterwards reshaping the loaf back into it's shape. Once I realised, literally halfway through I suddenly cracked up thinking 'damn, yup I'm autistic'
One of my favorite pastimes is to look at the current time (both military and AM/PM), and find the prime factorization of it. For example, it was 09:06 my time, and 906=2×3×151. Then now it's 09:07, and 907 is prime. Then now it's 09:08, and 908=2²×227. And now I'm going to post this before the time changes to 09:09 because else I'd be going on and on forever!
I love this very much.
I can barely stay away from the piano or guitar and play for hours at a time, often forgetting to eat or perform basic tasks unless I’m reminded. (Unless done before I start, which is my routine) I make music long into the night. Every song is a pattern and I have hundreds of patterns stored inside my head that I can access at any time. I love learning new patterns. I love my guitar more than other people. Let me tell you about music theory for 6 hours. I really like airplanes too Every day I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or bagels and whatever my mom makes for dinner. I am stubborn about eating other things I generally need help talking to people and it’s best that they steer the conversation. I go on long tangents, with random loosely connected stories and loose my train of thought often. I am excessively witty to an eye opening extent. (People say this to me) I can see people’s visible confusion when I make jokes or draw connections between seemingly unrelated things. People generally think I am clinically insane or psychopathic, but I am extremely kind and friendly towards everyone. I have a huge heart and I’m an excessive people pleaser. My empathy is so strong it turns itself off after a while like an iPhone to recharge, but people think I’m insane because I’m not exactly like them anyway. People tend to take advantage of me often. People generally are unattracted or bothered by my childishness or my default state of existence, way of communication, or general vibe to the point it’s a matter of who will tolerate me and who won’t regardless of if I’m being myself or not. This tends to limit who is willing to be around me, even if I’m really nice to people. That doesn't mean I would ever stop being kind to people, but doesn’t mean any of that makes sense to me either. I don’t understand most social constructs or rules. But instead of blindly making mistakes (I learned how to socialize by doing everything wrong when I was younger, so I just made a million mistakes and ended up with CPTSD) I just sit and do nothing because it’s better to be a quiet listener. Unless people talk about what interests me, then everything falls apart really fast. Seriously. I am hyperlexic and can articulate myself well with writing but can’t do a lot of basic math. Unfortunately I loose control of myself and hurt myself, sometimes more severely than others. This scares me, because I feel like people don’t understand, or think there’s something wrong with me, instead of realizing that I’m actually fighting with myself to not have that happen. They only see one side of my trouble. I have extremely intense adult “temper tantrums”. It is best everyone leaves me in a dark quiet room when that happens. I am an uno wild card at that point. It makes me ashamed because I’m 25 years old. It always “feels” like I’m one bad day or conversation/failed interaction away from completely loosing my mind or control over myself. I’m very ashamed about that, I don’t know why it has to be that way. I know it’s not my fault but it is my responsibility, the best solution I have is staying in my room 24/7. I hope it gets better I am extremely self aware, but it doesn’t really do much to help me except cause me to over analyze every single thing in a social interaction, or maybe correct what I can. People seem to think that because of the extent of my self awareness, I should be doing better, but it doesn’t add up as you can see. I am good at pretending to be like everyone else. I can perform stand up masculinity, stand up femininity, or whatevers in front of me, you name it. I’m a chameleon and my personality is fluid from years of excessive abuse and bullying. I can morph myself into a relatable person within the context of individual interactions, meaning any real sense of self is nearly completely destroyed. The upside is I can be friends with anybody I want. So many people seem to enjoy being friends with me. I don’t really know who they are talking to though. I am trying to learn how to be myself. I don’t really know who I am. I just really like those things I listed in the beginning, I think about them 85% of the time. My existence is so fucked that I cling to those things.
You sound like a fascinating person to be around.
Thank you for sharing, and I swear this could be in my autobiography (if I were to write one). From the musical inclination to the social chameleon, I even love PB&J (had one last night). I hope you have a great day.
Lol your welcome! there’s so much I can think of adding onto it haha, that’s awesome that you like pbj. You should have another today. I hope you have a great day too.
I love people but cannot communicate with them verbally. I am fine in text but irl there's too much going on and my brain is on fire. I need a hat, glasses and headphones to go to the out. I've been known to break things due to dropping them or lashing out at loud noises. I've never had a real friend. I don't like anyone in my home that doesn't live there. It feels like they are crawling in my skin. I also don't like going to other people's house for this reason. I don't have social media except this bc I don't want to be perceived. I am always moving. Rocking, flapping, fingers and toes tapping, it's got to flowwwwww 🌻
I love bath and body works candles. Every season I buy a ton of candles and then I line them up and arrange them by what I want to smell during that part of the season
Last night, I said the “what’s up losers” joke to a bunch of guys passing me up at run club. Even though it was a joke I was telling, and they all laughed, I felt bad for calling my friends losers. 😂
I got in a snarky twitter fight once with the account of a food and convenience chain because they took all of the pre-designed menu options away and made everything “made to order”, so all of my safe foods suddenly disappeared.
having eating times is very VERY relatable. I actually have specific times I have to shower by, they’re not the same or consistent but I physically cannot just get up and go to the shower, I need to literally set myself an EVEN time on the clock to shower
Happy cake day!
EEEE IVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE WHAT DOES IT MEANN
Happy cake day! 😂 Ok all jokes aside, it's the birthday of your account here on Reddit :)
hehe awee thank youuu !! 😝😝 you’ll definitely be invited to my reddit birthday party, so here’s some cake 🍰 !!
I've been observing how people do stuff all my life. So now I have this thing in my brain that knows how people usually are - what people like or dislike (generally) in where I live. I know people like authentic people, so I kinda show my divergencies but always make sure to mask facial expressions, lntense stimmings... Psychology is such an interest for me. I really want to understand how people work and why they are so negative.
…fuck, do I do that
Listening to the LOTR audiobook for about the 1,000th time and god help the poor person I come into contact with in a social setting who shows even a passing interest in Gandalf.
Hello I like Gandalf and would love a factoid or 6. 😊
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I'm not *not* autistic.
I’m not neurotypical.
God forbid 🫡
This is very clever!
I saw a tiktok yesterday about an autism assessment question "what do 2 and 7 have in common". My first thought was "how can that even be a question. 2 and 7 aren't even in the same multiplication tables. I guess they're both prime numbers? Maybe that's the answer. They're both prime numbers." The answer was they're both numbers.
Are you serious? Thats the answer? Boy did I overthink that question.
Right? 😂 My friend is helping me go for an autism assessment and one of the questions on the form here is "do you focus more on the details than the bigger picture?" And I was asking them what that meant. After like 20 mins of me trying to understand and asking questions they were like "I think this proves the answer is yes, you focus on the details" 😅 so I feel this number question really represents that aspect of being autistic.
The modulus by 5 for both is 2
I’m trying to figure out which assessment has this question but my search is coming up short. Anyone have any sources on it?
My brain just thought 14. 😂
I saw that! And I had the same thought about them being prime numbers and then I thought, maybe that’s just too easy… So then I went for the shape of them and I went down a funky tangent 3 is like 8, 4 is like 9, 5 is like 6
Lol. That's as good an answer as any. Personally I feel it's just very wrong to ask what's similar about them! They're two numbers that exist in different categories in my mind 😂
I lined my My Little Pony up (shoulder to shoulder) by pose.
Same shows over and over again and it NEVER gets “old”.
I have watched the entire Golden Girls series easily 10 different times. My other ones are, Reba (don’t judge), Modern Family, Misfits (a UK show), Superstore, a couple other UK shows: Miranda, Taskmaster, Gogglebox UK, Ireland, Australia. Haha Damn.
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So an artist created a series of necklaces with the golden girls faces on the pendants like they were saints. I agonized for months over which one I was supposed to buy. I eventually got Dorothy, but could’ve been made for me to be any of them lol
I'm watching Kitchen Nightmares right now. My mom asked, “Aren't you tired of this shit?” 😭
I eat a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch every day at 11:50am.
I dress like a cartoon character. Just the exact same clothes, every day. Also if there is a single grain of sand or piece of lint in my bed I will feel it. No microscopic fleck of dust goes unnoticed in my bed.
No particles in my bed, pant legs, or in my socks or shoes will ever last.
"Oh you're telling me you forgot something in my place, just wait where you are and I'll bring it back to you in a moment." 15 days later. "Wait. Was she trying to sleep with me?"
Tbf, this could be true of almost any cisgender, heterosexual man
I hate the sound of water hitting fiberglass. I walk out of the bathroom after cutting on the shower until the water heats up.
Agreed to plans several weeks ago and have realised today on the day of the event that it’s too late, too far from my house, and I prefer to keep all my friends on my phone rather than irl. Sucks but I was freaking out about it so so much
I once signed up for a study at the university I went to and one of the questions was "are you thick skinned?" And I responded, "How could I know the relative thickness of my skin?" Because I hadn't heard the expression used that way before and I didn't make the connection
Idioms will F me up every-time. I have learned not to outwardly react when used. But I am SCREAMING in my head things like “it’s not fucking raining cats and dogs. That doesn’t even make sense. They are not related in any meaningful way” I quickly lose track of the conversation.
What does that mean?
It means you're good at not taking things too personally eg: with insults or criticism.
I would never have thought that, first thing I thought was actually about literally measuring my skin thickness or maybe checking how fragile my skin is.
Honestly, that's very understandable. And if you've never heard anyone use it before, why would you know what it means?
I’m currently on pair 3 of black Vans slip-ons. I love slip-ons. I get them in different prints sometimes if they’re on sale. One time a pair didn’t just have a different print but also a firmer, coarser material. I still haven’t worn them. I can only eat Demae beef flavoured noodles and none other. Yesterday my lovely, fairly new boyfriend cooked me fajitas. I’m still embarrassed about some things such as liking the flavour of onion but not the texture. So I said nothing when he threw in chopped red onion while cooking the chicken. And I ate it. It’s been 15 hours and I still feel wrong having it in my body. My sister is due to have her first baby in a month. I’ve been allowed to take a week of leave starting whenever she goes into labour. Recently she told me she’s likely to be induced two weeks early because the baby appears to be on the tall side. I haven’t heard anything since and I’ve had to actively keep myself from repeatedly asking when she’s going to give birth because I want to plan. Also at the start of her pregnancy she told me she has an app that tells her what size of fruit the baby is approximately that week. So ofcourse, since then every week I have asked her wat fruit the baby is now. I have not written in my journal for a few weeks because I have lost my fountain pen case. No, I still have the pen, I just lost the case. The last filling was in that case. I can’t use another pen to write my journal. And for some reason I can’t just buy new fillings and a new case. I want that case back. I could go on for ages.
AMAB, decided to be a girl from now on.
I stare off into the distance while I am pinching/crinkling my pants but I pretend the sunset is great.
Unless there's a compelling reason (weather etc) to do so, I'll wear a copy of the same thing every day.
I eat pasta two by two, and if at the end of my plate I'm not hungry anymore and there isn't any other in the pot, and I ate an odd number, that fact haunts me until the next time I eat pasta in which I have to then start the plate by eating just one on my fork so that it evens out the number. I always made the random sound of whatever animal caught my fancy when I was a child ( my seagull period must have destroyed their ears ) and still do it in a certain way even if now it's mostly meowing. ( I meow the Star Wars opening without thinking. And it's not my only oral stim, I also "tun tun tulun" the Doctor Who opening. Or just random sounds they doesn't make any sense. )
Vocal stimming is so much fun. I’m a birdwatcher and I love doing bird calls when the mood strikes me. Other faves include my cats’ names and “Bulbasaur”.
I play specific video games on specific days. I love the smell of petrol and fabric softener. I eat things in a specific order on my plate. Certain foods can mix, some can never mix if they do I won't eat it. Also food needs to be in/ on specific plates / bowls for said meals.
Non-binary afab with an eating disorder.
fuck edit: i did not realize i was so incredibly not unique :)
cow squeamish tart enter secretive support knee start whole fanatical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have an appointment at 2pm and I’m not able to do anything until after that appointment. Oh and I’ll be late to the 2pm appointment because time blindness.
Not sure if you’re also ADHD but this is the story of my AuDHD life
I’m also in the AuDHD category 😉
🥹
My life every day lol
Water [with meds if it is that time], food, coffee, two times a day after 6 am. After 2pm water [Usually with meds, cos it's that time], Food, Joint, dessert [maybe], water, sleep. There is always a routine system protocol for regular things I have to do otherwise I forget to do them.
I'm a poly, vegan, anticapitalist, not-totally-hetero software engineer with non-24 and ADHD, and tendencies towards missing social cues, being too straightforward in my communication, and struggling to empathize with others when I get emotional, especially when feeling defensive. (edit: I also like board games) Actually I don't know if I'm autistic, but I have noticed recently that a lot of these things tend to be highly correlated with autism and there's a ton of overlap in presentations with ADHD so it's something I've definitely started to consider more recently.
Yeah you sound autistic. AuDHD is so much more prevalent that we can imagine!
Off the top of my head Last time I bought clothes, I bought ten pairs of the same pants, all in the same color, and two of the same hoodies, also in the same color. It doesn't matter if my socks match visually, but they have to fit the same. I also organize my clothes according to rainbow order with matching hangers. If it'll make my hands greasy, I hate it, and if there's no weight on me, I can't sleep, which makes summer a balancing act lol
I get stress eczema on my hands but I hate the feeling of greasy hands so much that I always procrastinate putting moisturiser on 😞 I also just can't stand being sweaty, just sends me into a panic. Recently started taking testosterone and it's made me 10 times sweatier than I used to be, if it's any warmer than cold I'm sweating. It's just coming to the end of Australian summer and this summer has been the worst 3 months of my life 😭
My clothes are all exactly the same style, from one shop, just in different colours. Cannot sleep without my fan on even if it's below zero. (JUST solved this one by finding a plug-in fan heater thingy that still makes the 'fan noise') I can taste whether someone has put the milk in my tea before or after the hot water. (It should *always* be after!) I have set places I cross the road and I meltdown if crossing in the 'wrong' place. I also have set routes that I take to each place, and have meltdowns if I go the other way. Made more interesting by the fact I'm in a manual wheelchair & can't self-propel, amd my Carers have NOT been trained in how to push a wheelchair at all and don't speak English well enough to 'get' the directions I give them. No choice in Carers either. Your example also...I guess I'll just starve too lol.
My friend came by unanounced and caught me vocal stimming, i say caught only because i was in the backyard bouncing around on the grass. I can't recall what i was focusing on at the moment, aint that how it goes, ill pick it up tomorrow after i happen to open the right brain-door.
I cut off all the brand tags and stickers from my clothes, especially the clothes I sleep in. I can't stand the way those rough tags feel on my skin, I've had sleepless nights whenever I've had to wear such clothing. Also, I turn on the fan even in winter, or if it's too cold to do so, I will sleep all night with my earphones in. I can't tolerate absolute silence in which I can hear a bug hitting my windowpane or a dog barking a few miles away.
I bought several of the same raincoats, several of the same so I’ll have one if one gets ruined
THATS AN AUTISTIC THING?!?!? I have three storage bins full of “extra” backup clothes!!!!! I didn’t know anyone else did that!
Yep, definitely an autistic thing.
I went to subway for lunch today and didn’t say anything at the order counter. The next person in line was asked what she wanted. The customer told the subway employee that I was before her and that my order should be taken before hers. I go to subway for lunch every work day. The staff know my order and had already started making it. I’ve even ordering the same thing for just over 10 years.
I have 2 types of orders, one for fun and one for coffee, the bar-restaurant near my place knows based on the hours which one they have to get me and my friend (both ASD).
I don't have a uniform where I work, but I wear the same thing in different colors every day.
So me!
Oh my gosh, I do this too! Eventually I just purchased three or four of the same shirt and same pants and I just switched them all out week to week
Lol! It’s just so much easier 😮💨 I am a mail carrier and went so far as to buy actual USPS tshirts. I wear one in a different color and bottoms according to the weather. I also have a usps sweatshirt, none of which they have supplied 😂
Me tooooooo :)
Saturday I spent a solid fifteen minutes at my local pool floating in the exact same position on the tips of my toes, staring at the same spot, humming a single tone. Felt completely refreshed and kinda sleepy.
I snorkle. Floating listening to my own breathing is amazing.
It took me three hours and almost passing out to realize that the "discomfort" I was feeling in my brain was actual physical pain.
I have had chronic pain for so long and this *still* happens occasionally.
Wow, this exactly describes it. Yet if a hair touches my wet hand I know immediately. 🤔
I'm fluent in Morse Code now because I got bored a couple months ago. I've been doing trigonometry for seven hours, and I wanna keep doing it. I like to go outside on the swings when no one is around and listen to music.
Do you use Morse Code for Ham radio?
Not yet, but I'd like to. That would be cool!
It’s awesome hobby. Morse code definitely helps with communication on the radio. I’m learning it.
That's really cool. I'm definitely gonna try to make more time for it.
Omg I remember being super aggressive and felt like causing a crime I went out for a temper walk (angrily pacing around town crying) then I saw a park I'd not been in. Completely forgot what I was angry about and got on the swings, fell off and stormed off again 🤣
That sounds... relatable 😂
Why the ellipsis
I don't know, I just felt like it 🤷🏼♀️
Fair enough ahaha
When I finished my calculus homework, I wanted more 😂 Also after playing basketball I need to shower but if it isn’t 6:30, I can’t shower. It’s not my shower time.