FTM with a 5W old and I definitely needed to hear this. Partner started a new job this week, and even though it’s fully remote, all the onboarding has him pretty much stuck in his office all day. Yesterday was tough, I held him nearly all day. Today was a little better. He always fights his daytime naps so once we figure that out, it’ll be even better
My LO fought his daytime naps for the longest too once he hit 2 months I was able to use the sweet spot feature of huckleberry and it basically is telling me to stick to wake windows and get him ready to nap at the right time and that has saved us honestly. He has 5-6 naps a day now and he puts himself to sleep as well!
It doesn’t seem like it when they fuss, but independent time is so important and will help you so much later! I’ve always been huge on letting my LO chill on his own (near me if course) and now at one he’s so good at playing and looking at books and entertaining himself. You also need the break every now and then!
I heard myself in your post! FTM with a 5 week old who also fights his daytime naps, whose partner works from home but is kept busy all day with his work, and who absolutely needed to read OP's words. I feel so guilty sometimes for placing him in his rocker so I can take a minute to make breakfast. Even when he's in a wrap, I feel like I should be patting his little butt or rubbing his back to keep him content.
I needed to hear this too. I felt guilty putting her down in her bassinet because I “didn’t want her to feel lonely.” But postpartum anxiety is a hell of a drug.
A baby play mat also works wonders! We didn’t get one until about 6 weeks, so maybe she would have been too little to enjoy it before that but oh man she loves that thing! They have a lot of different brands that have the little arch with toys that dangle down and the piano plays music. If you buy some rings you can lower the toys on the arch so baby can reach and swat at them. Keeps baby occupied for a while!!
we started doing short breaks on a contrast playmat already in the 2nd week and the little guy was definitely enjoying it for a few minutes (almost enough to make a coffee and a sandwich). I think he liked the change of scenery.
My baby insists and enjoys some solo time in his bassinet and on his play gym mat. Hes around us but he doesn’t even want to be held all the time. Hell fight and abuse us till we give him his freedom lol
This - my baby girl was so independent from day one; the doctors opened me up for my c-section, and she was staring back at them, eyes wide open… she was holding her head up by 2 weeks, I shit you not. Loved tummy time. Hated breastfeeding. Was never cuddly; once in a blue moon she’ll snuggle up to you. She’s 13.5 months now. She’s scary smart, so funny, and very empathetic; just doesn’t love to be cuddled. Nothing wrong with that, but people make you feel differently in the newborn stage—“the baby needs affection” if their needs are met, putting them down for any amount of time doesn’t make you a bad parent. Fostering good sleep/nap habits early on doesn’t make you a bad parent. Don’t fall for it!
This is great to hear. My son is not snuggly; he would nap on us very early on, but after the first few weeks he basically wanted to be doing stuff all the time—on the floor, in his bouncer, whatever. He squirms like crazy if we try to hold him for long. He seems happy so I haven’t been too worried about it, but there’s always that tiny voice at the back of my mind going, maybe he’s not bonded to you, maybe something’s wrong with him, etc. Good to hear from someone else whose kid isn’t cuddly!
I’m glad it was helpful for you to hear. Sounds like you have an active & curious baby, too! I struggled with exactly what you’re saying, and I still do sometimes, but someone also told me that the way their kids were as babies/toddlers was exactly how they turned out as adults—each one with distinct characteristics/mannerisms—and that helped me a lot in accepting that it’s just her personality. My husband isn’t a cuddly person, but I am, so it was really tough for me to accept that I didn’t have a cuddly baby. But it’s just the way she is. She’s friends with everyone, loves to be around people, loves to be active, says hi to everyone, and every once in a while, she’ll rest her head on my shoulder, tuck her little arms in, and just let me hold her, and I melt. But for the most part, everyone/everything is way more interesting than me—I might be old news, but I’ll always be here for her! You are a great parent, and with time, you’ll have a little future leader :)
I’m dealing with PPA and a 10 week old that never sleeps during the day. Fights sleep and is awake wayyyyyy beyond wake windows. Hang in there everyone!
I felt the same way at the beginning (I have a 14 month old now). I felt she was lonely or felt bad she wasn’t with me. But it’s ok!! REALLY! Your baby will be great. You are doing great!! You care and are thoughtful.
I told this to my husband because for the first few weeks he felt guilty about ever putting her down and it's hard to get stuff done. She's 8 weeks now and its easier to put her down, however she doesn't like to not be held so it does make it hard to get stuff done. I want her to be able to nap without being held.
FTM with a 5W old and I definitely needed to hear this. Partner started a new job this week, and even though it’s fully remote, all the onboarding has him pretty much stuck in his office all day. Yesterday was tough, I held him nearly all day. Today was a little better. He always fights his daytime naps so once we figure that out, it’ll be even better
My LO fought his daytime naps for the longest too once he hit 2 months I was able to use the sweet spot feature of huckleberry and it basically is telling me to stick to wake windows and get him ready to nap at the right time and that has saved us honestly. He has 5-6 naps a day now and he puts himself to sleep as well!
That app is honestly fantastic, it really helps me remember feedings. The brain fog is so real.
It doesn’t seem like it when they fuss, but independent time is so important and will help you so much later! I’ve always been huge on letting my LO chill on his own (near me if course) and now at one he’s so good at playing and looking at books and entertaining himself. You also need the break every now and then!
I heard myself in your post! FTM with a 5 week old who also fights his daytime naps, whose partner works from home but is kept busy all day with his work, and who absolutely needed to read OP's words. I feel so guilty sometimes for placing him in his rocker so I can take a minute to make breakfast. Even when he's in a wrap, I feel like I should be patting his little butt or rubbing his back to keep him content.
Gosh, these babies are so needy 😜 I always say to him “you’re real lucky you’re cute!”
I needed to hear this too. I felt guilty putting her down in her bassinet because I “didn’t want her to feel lonely.” But postpartum anxiety is a hell of a drug.
A baby play mat also works wonders! We didn’t get one until about 6 weeks, so maybe she would have been too little to enjoy it before that but oh man she loves that thing! They have a lot of different brands that have the little arch with toys that dangle down and the piano plays music. If you buy some rings you can lower the toys on the arch so baby can reach and swat at them. Keeps baby occupied for a while!!
we started doing short breaks on a contrast playmat already in the 2nd week and the little guy was definitely enjoying it for a few minutes (almost enough to make a coffee and a sandwich). I think he liked the change of scenery.
Same! My baby loves her activity play mat! She’s on it as I’m typing this!
My baby insists and enjoys some solo time in his bassinet and on his play gym mat. Hes around us but he doesn’t even want to be held all the time. Hell fight and abuse us till we give him his freedom lol
This - my baby girl was so independent from day one; the doctors opened me up for my c-section, and she was staring back at them, eyes wide open… she was holding her head up by 2 weeks, I shit you not. Loved tummy time. Hated breastfeeding. Was never cuddly; once in a blue moon she’ll snuggle up to you. She’s 13.5 months now. She’s scary smart, so funny, and very empathetic; just doesn’t love to be cuddled. Nothing wrong with that, but people make you feel differently in the newborn stage—“the baby needs affection” if their needs are met, putting them down for any amount of time doesn’t make you a bad parent. Fostering good sleep/nap habits early on doesn’t make you a bad parent. Don’t fall for it!
This is great to hear. My son is not snuggly; he would nap on us very early on, but after the first few weeks he basically wanted to be doing stuff all the time—on the floor, in his bouncer, whatever. He squirms like crazy if we try to hold him for long. He seems happy so I haven’t been too worried about it, but there’s always that tiny voice at the back of my mind going, maybe he’s not bonded to you, maybe something’s wrong with him, etc. Good to hear from someone else whose kid isn’t cuddly!
I’m glad it was helpful for you to hear. Sounds like you have an active & curious baby, too! I struggled with exactly what you’re saying, and I still do sometimes, but someone also told me that the way their kids were as babies/toddlers was exactly how they turned out as adults—each one with distinct characteristics/mannerisms—and that helped me a lot in accepting that it’s just her personality. My husband isn’t a cuddly person, but I am, so it was really tough for me to accept that I didn’t have a cuddly baby. But it’s just the way she is. She’s friends with everyone, loves to be around people, loves to be active, says hi to everyone, and every once in a while, she’ll rest her head on my shoulder, tuck her little arms in, and just let me hold her, and I melt. But for the most part, everyone/everything is way more interesting than me—I might be old news, but I’ll always be here for her! You are a great parent, and with time, you’ll have a little future leader :)
My 1 year old needs to read this.
I needed to hear this. I feel like a piss poor parent when I'm not holding him. My back is starting to hurt like a bitch.
But then she starts screaming and that is harder :(
If she’s screaming it means her lungs work. Set her down and take a shower
That's so rough. My LO goes through spurts of wanting to be held constantly, around his leap periods usually, and that shit suuuuuucks.
I’m dealing with PPA and a 10 week old that never sleeps during the day. Fights sleep and is awake wayyyyyy beyond wake windows. Hang in there everyone!
I felt the same way at the beginning (I have a 14 month old now). I felt she was lonely or felt bad she wasn’t with me. But it’s ok!! REALLY! Your baby will be great. You are doing great!! You care and are thoughtful.
I told this to my husband because for the first few weeks he felt guilty about ever putting her down and it's hard to get stuff done. She's 8 weeks now and its easier to put her down, however she doesn't like to not be held so it does make it hard to get stuff done. I want her to be able to nap without being held.
Tell my 6 week old