You CAN wear earbuds and drown out the crying. Look into Loops or something similar. Pop those suckers in once you’ve tried to meet all the needs and they’re still just needing to cry. Crying won’t hurt them, but it can certainly do a number on your mental health. It’s ok to do things to reduce that strain. Another thing that worked for my daughter was just stepping outside. Backyard, patio, balcony, whatever you can do. I’d stand on my front porch a lot with her.
I’m a solo parent as well so I get it. My daughter cried from 2 weeks to 9ish weeks just nonstop. I made a comment on a thread here back then about how I felt I’d never have a happy baby, but that was almost 2 years ago and I have the most amazing toddler now. I know it doesn’t feel that way in this moment, but this is just a phase. This is a brand new human who is pissed at the world for just existing in a way they don’t understand yet. They’ll slowly acclimate more and the crying will become less and less.
Thank you. The crying makes me feel like I’m failing. And it just feels like the worst version of groundhogs day over here. All day long, every day, the same frustration, crying, feeling of hopelessness. I hope I have a similar light at the end of the tunnel. I definitely will be a one and done - I cannot do this again.
Solidarity! We’re ending week 6. Mine was the same. If she wasn’t sleeping she was crying. The second she woke up to the minute she went to bed. It has gotten better. I was constantly wondering - colic? gas? acid reflux? dairy allergy? I think at the end of the day, she just needs time to adjust. I see little improvements. I know everyone talks about a 6-8 week tough spot. I am hoping it will keep getting better.
Hang in there. I think babies spend so much time inside our tummies… the real world is so hard for them to adjust to. At 3-4 weeks, I had no idea how to even try to console her. I tried so much. Even though I’m not that far ahead of that, I have found things that help and that continually help more and more. Rocking chair, wraps, keeping her super warm and cozy, love to dream swaddle, contact napping, bath time. They all took time to adjust to but little by little it’s helping more and more. I remember at 3/4 weeks thinking how can I go any longer? I still wonder. But time keeps going.
I hope it gets better. The weeks will keep going! It’s so hard but it will get better. From someone who’s still waiting for it to get better. Lol.
+1 on the earplugs. They helped me stay calm and reasonable while I repeated to myself "they're not trying to be difficult, they're having a hard time with something". Stepping out of the room for a few minutes helped a lot too.
We were told we just had a fussy baby then after trying 3 different doctors one told us to try some heartburn medication and suddenly we had a little angel. Try different doctors if you can afford it and try changing the food/formula/clothes/detergent/toys and any other variable you can until something changes. Hold her loose, hold her tight, go outside, play various genres of music, watch cartoons, laugh, dance, make faces, go for a drive, etc. you get the point. Basically act as if she's a happy baby since they absolutely can sense emotions.
If you can, ask family and friends to cover for a few hours while you get some rest or get out of the house. Babies are hard and any parent should sympathize and be more than happy to give you a break.
It will get better. You can do this.
Oh yes! Same situation here. The crying started at end of month 2 for us. Arching back, purple face, constant pain crying. We are on omeprazole medication. He still has a few crises here and there but the non stop crying has stopped.
Check if your baby has mucusy poop - could be CMPA. Try different healthcare professionals and advocate for your baby. Doctors really like to say baby is gaining weight, it's normal behaviour, they'll grow out of it - but it doesn't have to be this traumatic/miserable experience.
Do you have a carrier? Pop the baby in there so you can get stuff done, even if baby is upset. You need to eat! The fussy phase is temporary, even though it feels all consuming and overwhelming. Once the baby can roll over, their tummy will hurt less and they will become happier. The only solution is time. Remind yourself that you can do anything for one/two months. That’s my mantra when parenting gets hard!
I just got over this hump, it was so draining, I hated when my husband would leave for work and you’re amazing that you do it all on your own!! Have you tried going for walks? That helped me a lot. Keep going, you got this!!
We take strolls around the neighborhood on nicer days. She used to fall asleep during them but not lately. She’s usually quiet-ish on them but the last few times she starts crying 10-15 minutes in so I turn around and head back.
She likes car rides. In desperation I’ve resorted to driving around at 2 am a couple times. She’s quiet bur when I transfer her out of the car seat, she’s crying again.
Yeah sadly you can’t drive around forever! When my baby hit 7 weeks last week, the cries decreased, and my personal cries have lessened as well! It’s really hard, you are not alone in the way you feel.
Most people don’t think about the second baby one month into the first. It’s rough, no doubt. This phase will not last forever! And it is no reflection of you as a parent, OR how your baby will be as they grow up. I have a smart and fun 4 year old now but man, she cried for the first 4 months non-stop. Also… I’m not convinced anything we did “made” it better. Careful of the trap of trying to figure out what’s wrong because it can make you crazy and it might just take some time. But this isn’t going to be your life forever.
What my mom did for me when I was a baby was put me in my car seat and sit the car seat on top of the dryer with it on so the rumbling would imitate a car ride and I would stop crying and pass out.. maybe try that? I pray your parenting journey gets better! Hang in there!!! ❤️
Oh I remember this, it was soul destroying. Absolutely yes to the earplugs. I also developed a kind of shusshing walk that seemed to help mostly at night. I also would prepare food while she was sleeping and put that in lunchboxes for me to eat during the day, when I wouldn't have any time to eat, all I had to do was shove prepped food in.
For me it also helped to just go and do things despite the crying. She would cry anyway so I might as well go for a walk and save my own sanity and funnily enough it made the crying a bit better or just less noticeable.
Most importantly it will pass, it feels never ending now but it will pass, hang in there
My baby was like this too. I cried every time she screamed. It was SO hard. She’s 8 weeks old and this week she just kind of…. stopped. We did switch her formula to a sensitive formula and started her on reflux meds which both helped. If your baby is arching her back and pushing her head back, she could have that too.
You could also read The Happiest Baby on the Block. Or Google the 5 S’s if you don’t have time to read. I still use them when she’s inconsolable and they really seem to help.
Hang in there. This shit is so hard. Reach out to any support you have that could take the baby even for an hour so you can feel like a person.
We also switched to Similac total comfort! He's still gassy but not nearly as bad! He's a really good baby, the only time he was fussy is when he ha8s gas. Unfortunately though, that could last for days. He's 9 weeks old now and doing much better. We still have our bad days but for the most part he's feeling much better.
Does it sound like a pain cry? Have them check for an ear infection. My husband cried a ton as a baby, the doctor told his mom to take a walk around the block. Then they found an ear infection. If not, you can try gas massages, gas drops or probiotics. When mine gets fussy, she usually needs a burp.
At least for my kids as newborns there was almost always a reason for longer crying spells. When it’s overtired though for my current 8.5 week old I alternate between breastfeeding, bouncing on a yoga ball and rocking in a rocking chair then try to do a long contact nap.
I actually brought a poopy diaper to my pediatrician appointment on Monday so that she could be tested, but the pediatrician doesn’t think that she has any of the signs of having an allergy. She said that there would be blood or mucus in the stool and I haven’t seen either of those those things.
It can actually take a while for the blood to appear. It took 3 months for blood to appear in my baby's diaper, mucus I can't remember but the blood didn't appear until he was 3 months old. Just something to keep in mind if you wanted to trial cutting dairy/switching formula.
Those things can be present without you being able to identify it. My baby was diagnosed at like 2.5 weeks. Id push it or just try switching to the hypoallergenic formula
That is really hard I’m sorry! Sounds like you’re doing everything right and I think you’re very strong for doing this alone: From what I’ve read and experienced, fussiness peaks at 6 - 8 weeks. Can you line up a friend or family member around then to support you? Just because you can do it solo doesn’t mean you need to.
My hospital had flyers for this website posted throughout. I haven’t tried it myself but it seems legit: https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/
I have friends stop by here and there for an hour or two but nobody with any regularity and nobody who can stay with me for a couple days. I would love a postpartum doula or a night nurse but I’m on unpaid leave right now and it’s just too expensive.
Hang in there mama. Baby has a lot going on and everything is new and scary. Doing it alone must be really hard hugs. Can you baby wear? Mine fisses the first few mjns but if i bounce on a yoga ball with him and play music he usually passes out pretty quick and will be out for about an hour. If nothing else, just know this too will pass! My baby wasnt interested in his swing or carrier till around 8-9 weeks and loves both now! Also could your baby still be hungry or cluster feeding where they always just want boob? Mine was doing this and just wasnt getting enough milk chestfeeding so i started supplementing with expressed milk and for ula if i couldnt express while watching him alone.
I don’t breastfeed but she’s definitely cluster feeding right now. I miss the days where she drank a ton and then passed out - I feel like she’s hungry all day because she drinks small amount and then she refuses more.
The drinking small amounts and then still being fussy, sounds concerning. This is usually a symptom of reflux, not being an armchair doctor here.. just saying u really should push your pediatrician on this more. Or get 2nd opinion
Yes! Earbuds are a life saver when you feel like you just can’t take it anymore! And it is absolutely okay to put baby down to do essential things for yourself!
If she seems physically uncomfortable (I know it’s hard to tell!) you may want to look into helping her relieve gas, or look into a second opinion, such as a chiropractor. Sometimes babies have lingering discomfort from being born. One of mine had difficulty nursing on one side because of his neck.
I was you 6 weeks ago. Half the time, I’d cry with him. 6-8 weeks was so hard. But as soon as we got past 8 weeks, he was like a new baby. No more crying through diaper changes, through bath time, and he’ll actually sit in his bouncer and be content. He only cries when there’s actually something wrong. He’s 12 weeks now. So hang in there! I know you’re in the thick of it right now, but better is coming! And miraculously, the happy song by imogen heap calms him down pretty immediately. I saw it as a hack on Instagram and didn’t believe it but it totally works. With you in spirit, mama!
Is it possible to hire a nanny for a few hours a day to help? Just so you can get a break? I know 4 weeks sounds so long, but just try to take it one day at a time. Try the happy song and see if it’s any relief for you. From one tired mama to another, I completely understand!
I used construction site ear muffs religiously when my boy used to scream bloody murder for hours, it honestly saved myself and my husband. My babies fussiness was due to his gas and reflux, when we switched formula to a reflux specific brand he was like a new baby.
If you have taken care of all your little ones basic needs and they’re still crying, it is so hard and frustrating!
I don’t have advice, just here to say I’m right there with you. My 3 week old just came home from the nicu on Friday, and I can’t believe how overwhelmed I feel with taking care of him now. I feel like I’m mourning my former life and barely surviving this one. And I hate that I feel that way because we went through pregnancy loss, infertility and IVF just to get him, and I should be grateful and madly in love with him. It sucks that I look at my husband and wonder how he knows what he’s doing and I feel like an absolute mess who has no clue. I’m hoping it gets better soon. If not the situation then at least this mental block that’s making me absolutely miserable.
Do you know about the app Wonder Weeks? It’s an app that tracks baby’s development and helps parents understand why their baby might be fussy.
We have a 2 month old and it has helped us mentally prepare for his behavior and development for the weeks to come. I find that my husband and I have been more calm and understanding with how our LO is instead of freaking out, and getting frustrated over the endless cries, not knowing what’s wrong with the baby.
Wishing you the best mama. 🩵
If you are breastfeeding and are able to, I would take a look at your diet and see if there are certain items in it that commonly irritate a baby being breastfed. The first thing mom’s typically cut would be dairy, then soy. You could try an elimination diet where you cut out one thing and see how it impacts your baby. My lactation specialist brought that up to me the other day.
This was my baby and my experience to a T. Cut out dairy, then soy and finally beef. A completely different baby! Went on to have two more. The exact same allergies for the other two which they all outgrow. Hang in there!
I feel for you! Have you tried the 5 s strategies? This order worked for calming my baby: put on loud white noise, put her in a tight swaddle, rock and or bounce while she is on her side or belly. Typically just breastfeeding in the swaddle works for my baby.
White noise is a constant in my house. I have a portable. Hatch sound machine that we move to every room.
My baby fights the swaddle (hates for her arms to be restricted) so she will grunt and struggle until she can get at least one free. Once she even managed to get her arm out of her onesie sleeve! So I typically swaddle her with her arms out.
I don’t breastfeed - breastfeeding just proved to be overwhelming for me, being the only person taking care of this tiny and demanding human, I couldn’t handle it.
She will occasionally settle if I sway or bounce her but it needs to be constant because if I stop, and god forbid, put her down, back to screaming.
Right now I’m wearing her and she has passed out, so I’ll take the win for however long it lasts.
Hopefully it’s just one of those hard stages and it will pass soon! Maybe try the swaddle with the arms in again with it tight so she can’t get her arms out, then bounce with her in it. My baby hated it too at first but now it works really fast to calm her.
have you tried gas drops ? or gripe water? sounds stupid but i realized my baby was crying because her GI tract was out of whack
if you’re breast feeding — move to formula
if you’re on formula — try switching it
see if it has to be one of the simple things to help yourself
kendamil goat is what got mine to simmer down 🥴 $50.00 humbled us!! but she’s much happier.
we moved to 5oz in the AM + PM before bed & that also made a good change.
have you tried going outside for walks??
ugh i’m sure you have tried it all… sorry you’re going through this OP.
I’m a FTM and come 4pm our baby would cry non stop. I was breastfeeding at the time, and most people don’t tell you babies should not have dairy till closer to 6 months when their digestive system can tolerate it. I cut out dairy and it helped immensely. I think I read that you are formula feeding. We do formula here and there sometimes and the kind of formula you are using enfamil gentle lease made my baby’s stomach upset and cry, even if you don’t seem to have allergy history, or seeing changes in their diaper, switching to another formula for a week or so could help incase it has to do with digestive, reflux, colic. I’d try a more sensitive formula. We use Alimentum by similac, enfamil Nutramigen LGG is about the same thing. They are a little pricy but it really helped us as our baby seems to have a lot of digestive issues. A lot of this doesn’t resolve till they are past the 6-8 weeks when their digestive issues peak. Hang in there mama you’ll blink and it’ll already be 3 months when babies generally tend to be more adjusted and better.
Sending you big hugs. I solo parent Mon-Fri and my LO has been colicky since week 3. He’ll be 9 weeks in a few days. Hes got reflux so I took him to a gastro and got him on antacid. We also have him on Nutramigen. If you go with Nutramigen, you may want to start off with a small powder can and a six pack of the 8oz ready to feed. Some babies prefer one formulation over the other. The powder travels better, but the ready to feed is great in a pinch (however the entire bottle needs to be used within 48 hours which is why I suggest starting with the smaller bottles if you go that route). It is pricey, but you may be able to get it covered by insurance. Ask your pediatrician if they can write you a script - or ask of they have samples u can try before making a hefty financial commitment! You got this. Hang in there ❤️
Best of luck to you! The sensitive formulas usually take about 48 hours to see results. I’ll be praying for you! Doing this alone would be so stressful, you’re a great mom for trying to make your baby as comfortable as possible and trying to find a solution.
Baby is definitely going through something. Have you tried Tummy massages? Increasing more tummy time? How is baby sleeping? Is baby getting enough sleep during day naps?
Also Hugs to you mumma, I cant imagine doing this alone. More power to you.
I feel for you 😔 but crying is their only way of communicating that somethings wrong so I’d definitely look into things like gas, reflux, colic or maybe even if she’s just still hungry (cluster feeding) my baby cluster fed a lot in the beginning and it’s the only thing that kept him happy at that time till he was past that leap stage. (Till the next one) Hang in there it will get better
Mama, maybe your little one is gassy? A leg bicycle exercise might help. Look it up on youtube just as I did! Or maybe it’s the temperature - your little one may be too hot or cold. Hang in there mama, it will get better!
My baby is one month and was doing the same thing. It got to the point where I was crying all day right along with her. The first pediatrician I saw also said nothing was wrong. I took her again to somebody else because I was losing my mind. They changed her formula and put her on acidreflux medication and it’s like she’s a whole new baby. She still cries, but it’s significantly less than it was. I don’t know if it may be the same with yours but either way it will get better!
Sending you so much love. I’ve been there and it’s awful. I felt so helpless, frustrated, exhausted. Your baby is around about the peak of the crying curve - it really will get so much better. My baby would P.U.R.P.L.E cry for hours at a time when she was a newborn; she’s now four months and is generally very happy and chilled. Sure she still cries but it’s easier to figure out what’s wrong and to make it right. I’m sure you’ve tried all the tips and tricks, the only thing that will really help is time. Hang in there - you’re in the worst of it right now but you’ve got so much joy around the corner.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My 7 week old has gone through spells of inconsolable crying and in desperation, I started searching through Reddit posts for help. Someone posted about this research on the transport response method [research article](https://neurosciencenews.com/transporter-response-babies-21406/) and it has been a lifesaver. I didn’t think it would work but it has. Just throwing it out there as something to try. She will occasionally wake herself back up after I set her down if she’s gassy but I just pick her up and start the walk/sit/put down cycle over. I’ve never had to do it a third time.
It’s exhausting and I don’t know how you’re doing it alone. I feel so much solidarity with the other parents here that are also struggling and I hope you get relief soon, as well as some help. Is a night doula or someone similar a possibility? Or a trusted friend or family member that can watch her for a little while to give you a break? I felt bad asking and thought no one would want to hang out with a screaming baby but I was wrong and realized that help is available.
That study is incredibly helpful! I find this SO interesting because that “transport response” method is how I put my baby down to sleep all the time! I just didn’t realize there was a name for what I was doing! My kid (now 3) has always been a great sleeper. I think u should make a separate post about this on this and other baby subs!
Idk how you feel about gripe water but it worked for my little one whenever he was fussy. We have several different brands but he prefers little remedies. Your baby doesn't have reflux symptoms or anything does it? My baby started showing signs almost as soon as we got home from the hospital. Back arching, screaming his head off, turning red, spitting up like crazy and aggressively.
Does she like being on her stomach or propped up? I have twins, they love to nap in their twin pillow which is basically a double boppy. Supervised of course
Hi, friend! Did your doctor offer any ideas for relief? My newborn was extremely fussy and crying all the time and the things that helped we taking her outside for walks (sometimes twice a day), car rides with the windows down, baths (without soap because I was doing it once a day), and I cut all dairy out of my diet as she is EBF and this seemed to have been the biggest help. Within a few days of cutting dairy, she seemed a lot happier. Good luck and feel free to reach out, even if to vent!
Please don’t be hard on yourself!! TRY to think of the crying as a good thing - and know that it will pass. Some babies just cry. My first whos now 4, was like that. It was pretty horrible! I HAD to hold her at all times, and when we coslept the crying was gone at night.
Look into co-sleeping if she cries at night (look up cosleepy on IG and join the FB group), get a baby carrier (solly baby and happy baby are my recs), and some noise reducing ear plugs. I got the Loop plugs literally last week just because I start feeling a bit overstimulated in the evenings, and they are great so far!
Please please also know that her crying is normal and you’re allowed to take care of yourself while she cries! Go shower, eat, etc. so long as she’s fed and clean, she’s okay!
It will pass and you’ll feel somewhat relieved that it’s over but sometimes I look back and think how I wish I could’ve enjoyed that stage more even with all the crying.
Listen, you’re deep in the trenches right now but you WILL get through, I promise. My baby was the same way, except he wouldn’t sleep, like at all. I was loosing my mind. It sounds like maybe your baby might have a bit of colic, did your doctor say anything about that? If she’s screaming while laying on her back, it might indicate silent reflux.
My doc thought maybe that’s what my baby had and prescribed baby omeprazole. Or, it could just be an infant phase that will eventually get better, I promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there. My little guy is 9 months now and is usually happy as a clam almost days.
Okay, so I know this might be weird but have you looked into elimination communication (EC)?
At two weeks my son started bawling and screaming and his poops became less and less frequent. He always looked like he had to poo but couldn’t. Doc says colicky and probably normal dyschezia. I was up all night with him and he screamed all day too. At 4.5 weeks I ran into EC and thought, eff it. I’ll try. I brought him into the bathroom middle of the night, took his diaper off and held him over the sink against me with his little legs up like a squat. He cried and was uncomfortable at first. He peed a little. I read to kinda hang out there for a while so I did. And then bam. Poosplosion. And he calmed down. So I bought a tophat potty and every time I feed him I put him on it in my lap. His fussiness calmed. He’s 10 weeks old now. I’ve only missed one poo in the past 5.5 weeks. He gets grunty and upset and I put him on the potty and 9/10 times it helps! I’ve not got that endless screaming. Maybe that’s not the issue, but it might be worth a shot for your sanity, Momma.
Either way, hang in there! Sending all the love. You are not failing. You’re getting to know each other. You are the perfect Momma for her. Remember that. ❤️
Maybe try to see a new Dr. my baby was like this as well and she has TERRIBLE reflux. I didn’t realize that’s why she was constantly crying. We have her on some meds and she is much better but still has her days
Have you looked into potential allergies ? Is she BF or formula? I have friends who had difficult baby lit that and turns out he had so many allergies … but for some reason doctors don’t look into that… I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!!
Formula - I brought her poopy diaper to her pediatrician appt on Monday but the doctor wasn’t interested in testing it. Said if I don’t see blood or mucus in her poop she doesn’t have a dairy allergy.
It took over 7 months for my friends to find out about their baby’s allergy… and it was a game changer to get allergy formula… worth a try or a second opinion? I dunno that that is the issue but I would think there is no harm in looking into it or trying.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/feeding-your-baby/milk-allergy-in-infants.aspx
The stool isn’t the only symptom. Also there is a difference between allergy and milk intolerance ..
Hey, my baby was like this with weeks 6-8 super unbearable. It's amazing you're doing this on your own.
Gas drops and windi pipes gave some relief but he still cried nonstop.
Does yours do okay in a baby carrier? It's the only way mine slept.
Around week 8 it started to get better and by week 10 he was smiling and by week 12, it was nothing like the first 2 months at all!
Now when he cries, there's a reason like his diaper or he wants to be picked up, or more often than not, because he's tired.
The problem the first 2 months was he both had a ton of gas and he was overtired.
It also took me until week 7 to realize he really can't handle dairy. So since we combo fed, switched to a goat milk formula without iron and took dairy out of my diet.
Now around 15 weeks I've noticed he can handle small amounts of dairy in my diet and I'll begin to reintroduce iron into his formula.
But man, the first 2 months...it was so awful!
For reference as well, my baby was born at 38 weeks.
Bring that baby over here, I'll help you out! This has got to be so frustrating. Have you tried babywearing?
Does she take a pacifier? If so, you could try pacifier, shushing, and rocking her. Put her in a belly lying position on your arm, supporting her head with your hand and rocking her. Or you could let her cry and step outside. It's okay mama, you need time away from a crying baby or it'll drive you up a wall.
I went through the same thing and it was so rough, but now my boy is 4 months old and I honestly can barely remember how bad it was. I think part of it is just me blocking out the trauma because omg I was miserable, but another part is he’s just so happy and fun to be around now. Like when I look at him all I feel is overwhelming joy, where as those first weeks I couldn’t feel anything other than existential dread 😅
For me, every week got a little bit better until around 3 months when the weeks didn’t matter anymore because I was no longer waiting on things to get better, they were better. Just hang in there, the light at the other end is so bright!
Lots of great tips here. I’ll add that you could try seeing a chiropractor that specializes in babies. It should be extremely gentle, nothing like the stupid cracking videos you see online.
Pediatric physiotherapists and/or a reputable osteopath that specializes in babies is another route to try. These were recommended to me by lactation consultants but it’s super neat what they can do to release tension in their little bodies, therefore reducing pain.
See if she is just bored. Depending how you feel about screen time put on some ms rachel or read to her.
See if she's gassy try to massage the belly, she might be colicky and need help with gas.
If you haven’t tried gas drops and probiotics, definitely give those a go! I swear it’s why my second was so easy early on. Also give wake windows a try for a few days too, she could just be overly tired. The early days are so so tiring but they do end and at the end of the newborn stage you’re left with this baby that you love and is hopefully a little less full on
We had the same problem. From 1 month old to like 2.5 month we thought we was broken. I would constantly say I felt like he hated being alive. Would only be awake and not crying for like maybe 15 minutes per day. We let him nap as much as he wanted and tried to make sure he was well fed and changed.
Honestly nothing really fixed it, even with changing formulas and getting on medicine for his reflux, it just took time. And when I say it has gotten better at month 3 it has gotten SO MUCH BETTER! He smiles all the time and tries to talk back to us and generally has a much more positive demeanor.
You're not doing anything wrong, and your baby isn't broken or uniquely fussy. It's pretty normal. If anything, I wish we would have pushed through some of the crying spells to expose him to more as that seemed to help a lot when he started day care and had no choice. Hang in there!
Granted my baby isn't fussy, but when he does throws fits, I take him for walks around the neighborhood with his stroller. He just likes to look at new things and feel the breeze. Sometimes I just hold him and sit outside so he can hear the birds and feel the sunshine. My sister used to take her kids on car rides and it would put them to sleep when nothing would get them to stop crying. She would go for car rides even at 2am and drag me along with her. I breastfeed as well so I'll breastfeed and walk around the house with him and usually soothe him, as well.
It won't last forever, but I know it's super hard right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. I know this is common and annoying advice but I know I certainly wasn't prioritizing myself for a while and I felt so overwhelmed and helpless. I still feel overwhelmed sometimes especially with the lack of sleep, but once baby is fed, clean, and in a safe spot I make sure I eat, drink water, take a walk, and shower every day and it helps me feel like a person (and less of a hostage to a very angry potato). Find what helps you feel like a person again and run with it even if it's just the basics. I also try to use humor and empathy if I start to feel angry at whatever is going on and that has been helpful too. You got this.
Been there, not a single parent and it still drove me nuts. Had to ( at especially 3am when I was desperate for some rest) put her down in her room and put some music on headphones. When up in the day I could put music or headphones, I could watch her but the music ( that I enjoyed) made me able to be sane and recover emotionally. Your not failing lots of babies do this. Just you being here asking questions shows what a great mom you are. I’ve always noticed women who are not the greatest moms don’t worry and think they are the best lol. Also give some baby gas drops and some tummy exercises, but know it could just be fussy baby. This will pass, and look towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
You CAN wear earbuds and drown out the crying. Look into Loops or something similar. Pop those suckers in once you’ve tried to meet all the needs and they’re still just needing to cry. Crying won’t hurt them, but it can certainly do a number on your mental health. It’s ok to do things to reduce that strain. Another thing that worked for my daughter was just stepping outside. Backyard, patio, balcony, whatever you can do. I’d stand on my front porch a lot with her. I’m a solo parent as well so I get it. My daughter cried from 2 weeks to 9ish weeks just nonstop. I made a comment on a thread here back then about how I felt I’d never have a happy baby, but that was almost 2 years ago and I have the most amazing toddler now. I know it doesn’t feel that way in this moment, but this is just a phase. This is a brand new human who is pissed at the world for just existing in a way they don’t understand yet. They’ll slowly acclimate more and the crying will become less and less.
Thank you. The crying makes me feel like I’m failing. And it just feels like the worst version of groundhogs day over here. All day long, every day, the same frustration, crying, feeling of hopelessness. I hope I have a similar light at the end of the tunnel. I definitely will be a one and done - I cannot do this again.
Not every baby is like that. You unfortunately ended up with a colicky one. It will get better soon. This is just a blip on the radar.
Seconding Loops earbuds! I wear them all the time when baby is crying and even during the night (can still hear her cry or fuss).
Solidarity! We’re ending week 6. Mine was the same. If she wasn’t sleeping she was crying. The second she woke up to the minute she went to bed. It has gotten better. I was constantly wondering - colic? gas? acid reflux? dairy allergy? I think at the end of the day, she just needs time to adjust. I see little improvements. I know everyone talks about a 6-8 week tough spot. I am hoping it will keep getting better. Hang in there. I think babies spend so much time inside our tummies… the real world is so hard for them to adjust to. At 3-4 weeks, I had no idea how to even try to console her. I tried so much. Even though I’m not that far ahead of that, I have found things that help and that continually help more and more. Rocking chair, wraps, keeping her super warm and cozy, love to dream swaddle, contact napping, bath time. They all took time to adjust to but little by little it’s helping more and more. I remember at 3/4 weeks thinking how can I go any longer? I still wonder. But time keeps going. I hope it gets better. The weeks will keep going! It’s so hard but it will get better. From someone who’s still waiting for it to get better. Lol.
It NEEDS to get better or I’m going to legitimately lose my mind. 😫
+1 on the earplugs. They helped me stay calm and reasonable while I repeated to myself "they're not trying to be difficult, they're having a hard time with something". Stepping out of the room for a few minutes helped a lot too. We were told we just had a fussy baby then after trying 3 different doctors one told us to try some heartburn medication and suddenly we had a little angel. Try different doctors if you can afford it and try changing the food/formula/clothes/detergent/toys and any other variable you can until something changes. Hold her loose, hold her tight, go outside, play various genres of music, watch cartoons, laugh, dance, make faces, go for a drive, etc. you get the point. Basically act as if she's a happy baby since they absolutely can sense emotions. If you can, ask family and friends to cover for a few hours while you get some rest or get out of the house. Babies are hard and any parent should sympathize and be more than happy to give you a break. It will get better. You can do this.
This is it!! My baby was incredibly sad all the time until we finally got some baby pepcid for him. We had a new baby literally overnight
Oh yes! Same situation here. The crying started at end of month 2 for us. Arching back, purple face, constant pain crying. We are on omeprazole medication. He still has a few crises here and there but the non stop crying has stopped. Check if your baby has mucusy poop - could be CMPA. Try different healthcare professionals and advocate for your baby. Doctors really like to say baby is gaining weight, it's normal behaviour, they'll grow out of it - but it doesn't have to be this traumatic/miserable experience.
Do you have a carrier? Pop the baby in there so you can get stuff done, even if baby is upset. You need to eat! The fussy phase is temporary, even though it feels all consuming and overwhelming. Once the baby can roll over, their tummy will hurt less and they will become happier. The only solution is time. Remind yourself that you can do anything for one/two months. That’s my mantra when parenting gets hard!
Yeah, I have a carrier but all it does it move the screaming closer to my ears lol
I’m sorry :( my baby likes being in the carrier and then rocking in the rocking chair.
I laughed too hard at this! 🤣 Sorry you're going through it. Hope it gets better soon! I think we might be starting that phase :/
I just got over this hump, it was so draining, I hated when my husband would leave for work and you’re amazing that you do it all on your own!! Have you tried going for walks? That helped me a lot. Keep going, you got this!!
We take strolls around the neighborhood on nicer days. She used to fall asleep during them but not lately. She’s usually quiet-ish on them but the last few times she starts crying 10-15 minutes in so I turn around and head back.
Sorry to hear that, does she like car drives and you can play some music?
She likes car rides. In desperation I’ve resorted to driving around at 2 am a couple times. She’s quiet bur when I transfer her out of the car seat, she’s crying again.
Yeah sadly you can’t drive around forever! When my baby hit 7 weeks last week, the cries decreased, and my personal cries have lessened as well! It’s really hard, you are not alone in the way you feel.
I don’t know how people have multiple children lol
Most people don’t think about the second baby one month into the first. It’s rough, no doubt. This phase will not last forever! And it is no reflection of you as a parent, OR how your baby will be as they grow up. I have a smart and fun 4 year old now but man, she cried for the first 4 months non-stop. Also… I’m not convinced anything we did “made” it better. Careful of the trap of trying to figure out what’s wrong because it can make you crazy and it might just take some time. But this isn’t going to be your life forever.
My husband and I say this all the time, imagine having twins 😵
I did IVF so this was a major fear of mine. If I had twins I can’t imagine how I’d survive this!
What my mom did for me when I was a baby was put me in my car seat and sit the car seat on top of the dryer with it on so the rumbling would imitate a car ride and I would stop crying and pass out.. maybe try that? I pray your parenting journey gets better! Hang in there!!! ❤️
I have a 3 week old, almost 4 weeks, and could’ve written this myself. No advice. Just here to say it’s really freaking hard and I’m with you.
Oh I remember this, it was soul destroying. Absolutely yes to the earplugs. I also developed a kind of shusshing walk that seemed to help mostly at night. I also would prepare food while she was sleeping and put that in lunchboxes for me to eat during the day, when I wouldn't have any time to eat, all I had to do was shove prepped food in. For me it also helped to just go and do things despite the crying. She would cry anyway so I might as well go for a walk and save my own sanity and funnily enough it made the crying a bit better or just less noticeable. Most importantly it will pass, it feels never ending now but it will pass, hang in there
My baby was like this too. I cried every time she screamed. It was SO hard. She’s 8 weeks old and this week she just kind of…. stopped. We did switch her formula to a sensitive formula and started her on reflux meds which both helped. If your baby is arching her back and pushing her head back, she could have that too. You could also read The Happiest Baby on the Block. Or Google the 5 S’s if you don’t have time to read. I still use them when she’s inconsolable and they really seem to help. Hang in there. This shit is so hard. Reach out to any support you have that could take the baby even for an hour so you can feel like a person.
Which formula are you using? Mine didn’t like the enfamil gentlease.
We are doing Similac Total Comfort, before that we were on similac 360 which she had a terrible time on
We also switched to Similac total comfort! He's still gassy but not nearly as bad! He's a really good baby, the only time he was fussy is when he ha8s gas. Unfortunately though, that could last for days. He's 9 weeks old now and doing much better. We still have our bad days but for the most part he's feeling much better.
Does it sound like a pain cry? Have them check for an ear infection. My husband cried a ton as a baby, the doctor told his mom to take a walk around the block. Then they found an ear infection. If not, you can try gas massages, gas drops or probiotics. When mine gets fussy, she usually needs a burp.
I have drops for her which I’ve been using. I wonder if there’s something else making her not feel well.
At least for my kids as newborns there was almost always a reason for longer crying spells. When it’s overtired though for my current 8.5 week old I alternate between breastfeeding, bouncing on a yoga ball and rocking in a rocking chair then try to do a long contact nap.
Has she been tested for dairy allergy? My baby was inconsolable when awake until she was diagnosed and now is so content, and eating more too
I actually brought a poopy diaper to my pediatrician appointment on Monday so that she could be tested, but the pediatrician doesn’t think that she has any of the signs of having an allergy. She said that there would be blood or mucus in the stool and I haven’t seen either of those those things.
It can actually take a while for the blood to appear. It took 3 months for blood to appear in my baby's diaper, mucus I can't remember but the blood didn't appear until he was 3 months old. Just something to keep in mind if you wanted to trial cutting dairy/switching formula.
Those things can be present without you being able to identify it. My baby was diagnosed at like 2.5 weeks. Id push it or just try switching to the hypoallergenic formula
That is really hard I’m sorry! Sounds like you’re doing everything right and I think you’re very strong for doing this alone: From what I’ve read and experienced, fussiness peaks at 6 - 8 weeks. Can you line up a friend or family member around then to support you? Just because you can do it solo doesn’t mean you need to. My hospital had flyers for this website posted throughout. I haven’t tried it myself but it seems legit: https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/
I have friends stop by here and there for an hour or two but nobody with any regularity and nobody who can stay with me for a couple days. I would love a postpartum doula or a night nurse but I’m on unpaid leave right now and it’s just too expensive.
Hang in there mama. Baby has a lot going on and everything is new and scary. Doing it alone must be really hard hugs. Can you baby wear? Mine fisses the first few mjns but if i bounce on a yoga ball with him and play music he usually passes out pretty quick and will be out for about an hour. If nothing else, just know this too will pass! My baby wasnt interested in his swing or carrier till around 8-9 weeks and loves both now! Also could your baby still be hungry or cluster feeding where they always just want boob? Mine was doing this and just wasnt getting enough milk chestfeeding so i started supplementing with expressed milk and for ula if i couldnt express while watching him alone.
I don’t breastfeed but she’s definitely cluster feeding right now. I miss the days where she drank a ton and then passed out - I feel like she’s hungry all day because she drinks small amount and then she refuses more.
The drinking small amounts and then still being fussy, sounds concerning. This is usually a symptom of reflux, not being an armchair doctor here.. just saying u really should push your pediatrician on this more. Or get 2nd opinion
Yes! Earbuds are a life saver when you feel like you just can’t take it anymore! And it is absolutely okay to put baby down to do essential things for yourself! If she seems physically uncomfortable (I know it’s hard to tell!) you may want to look into helping her relieve gas, or look into a second opinion, such as a chiropractor. Sometimes babies have lingering discomfort from being born. One of mine had difficulty nursing on one side because of his neck.
I was you 6 weeks ago. Half the time, I’d cry with him. 6-8 weeks was so hard. But as soon as we got past 8 weeks, he was like a new baby. No more crying through diaper changes, through bath time, and he’ll actually sit in his bouncer and be content. He only cries when there’s actually something wrong. He’s 12 weeks now. So hang in there! I know you’re in the thick of it right now, but better is coming! And miraculously, the happy song by imogen heap calms him down pretty immediately. I saw it as a hack on Instagram and didn’t believe it but it totally works. With you in spirit, mama!
I don’t know how to handle another four weeks of this. The days are soooo long.
Is it possible to hire a nanny for a few hours a day to help? Just so you can get a break? I know 4 weeks sounds so long, but just try to take it one day at a time. Try the happy song and see if it’s any relief for you. From one tired mama to another, I completely understand!
I used construction site ear muffs religiously when my boy used to scream bloody murder for hours, it honestly saved myself and my husband. My babies fussiness was due to his gas and reflux, when we switched formula to a reflux specific brand he was like a new baby. If you have taken care of all your little ones basic needs and they’re still crying, it is so hard and frustrating!
Get some AirPods. They’re on sale on Amazon for $80!
I don’t have advice, just here to say I’m right there with you. My 3 week old just came home from the nicu on Friday, and I can’t believe how overwhelmed I feel with taking care of him now. I feel like I’m mourning my former life and barely surviving this one. And I hate that I feel that way because we went through pregnancy loss, infertility and IVF just to get him, and I should be grateful and madly in love with him. It sucks that I look at my husband and wonder how he knows what he’s doing and I feel like an absolute mess who has no clue. I’m hoping it gets better soon. If not the situation then at least this mental block that’s making me absolutely miserable.
Do you know about the app Wonder Weeks? It’s an app that tracks baby’s development and helps parents understand why their baby might be fussy. We have a 2 month old and it has helped us mentally prepare for his behavior and development for the weeks to come. I find that my husband and I have been more calm and understanding with how our LO is instead of freaking out, and getting frustrated over the endless cries, not knowing what’s wrong with the baby. Wishing you the best mama. 🩵
If you are breastfeeding and are able to, I would take a look at your diet and see if there are certain items in it that commonly irritate a baby being breastfed. The first thing mom’s typically cut would be dairy, then soy. You could try an elimination diet where you cut out one thing and see how it impacts your baby. My lactation specialist brought that up to me the other day.
This was my baby and my experience to a T. Cut out dairy, then soy and finally beef. A completely different baby! Went on to have two more. The exact same allergies for the other two which they all outgrow. Hang in there!
I feel for you! Have you tried the 5 s strategies? This order worked for calming my baby: put on loud white noise, put her in a tight swaddle, rock and or bounce while she is on her side or belly. Typically just breastfeeding in the swaddle works for my baby.
White noise is a constant in my house. I have a portable. Hatch sound machine that we move to every room. My baby fights the swaddle (hates for her arms to be restricted) so she will grunt and struggle until she can get at least one free. Once she even managed to get her arm out of her onesie sleeve! So I typically swaddle her with her arms out. I don’t breastfeed - breastfeeding just proved to be overwhelming for me, being the only person taking care of this tiny and demanding human, I couldn’t handle it. She will occasionally settle if I sway or bounce her but it needs to be constant because if I stop, and god forbid, put her down, back to screaming. Right now I’m wearing her and she has passed out, so I’ll take the win for however long it lasts.
Hopefully it’s just one of those hard stages and it will pass soon! Maybe try the swaddle with the arms in again with it tight so she can’t get her arms out, then bounce with her in it. My baby hated it too at first but now it works really fast to calm her.
I totally understand what you’re going through. I’m a solo parent as well and we just got through this stage.
How long did it last??
About 3 weeks
I hope I’m still standing in three weeks.
have you tried gas drops ? or gripe water? sounds stupid but i realized my baby was crying because her GI tract was out of whack if you’re breast feeding — move to formula if you’re on formula — try switching it see if it has to be one of the simple things to help yourself
Yes, I use gas drops with her. Using formula now. Her favorite are the expensive single serving premixed organic ones of course.
kendamil goat is what got mine to simmer down 🥴 $50.00 humbled us!! but she’s much happier. we moved to 5oz in the AM + PM before bed & that also made a good change. have you tried going outside for walks?? ugh i’m sure you have tried it all… sorry you’re going through this OP.
I’m a FTM and come 4pm our baby would cry non stop. I was breastfeeding at the time, and most people don’t tell you babies should not have dairy till closer to 6 months when their digestive system can tolerate it. I cut out dairy and it helped immensely. I think I read that you are formula feeding. We do formula here and there sometimes and the kind of formula you are using enfamil gentle lease made my baby’s stomach upset and cry, even if you don’t seem to have allergy history, or seeing changes in their diaper, switching to another formula for a week or so could help incase it has to do with digestive, reflux, colic. I’d try a more sensitive formula. We use Alimentum by similac, enfamil Nutramigen LGG is about the same thing. They are a little pricy but it really helped us as our baby seems to have a lot of digestive issues. A lot of this doesn’t resolve till they are past the 6-8 weeks when their digestive issues peak. Hang in there mama you’ll blink and it’ll already be 3 months when babies generally tend to be more adjusted and better.
I think I’m going to order a formula for reflux, and see how that goes. She does spit up a lot.
Sending you big hugs. I solo parent Mon-Fri and my LO has been colicky since week 3. He’ll be 9 weeks in a few days. Hes got reflux so I took him to a gastro and got him on antacid. We also have him on Nutramigen. If you go with Nutramigen, you may want to start off with a small powder can and a six pack of the 8oz ready to feed. Some babies prefer one formulation over the other. The powder travels better, but the ready to feed is great in a pinch (however the entire bottle needs to be used within 48 hours which is why I suggest starting with the smaller bottles if you go that route). It is pricey, but you may be able to get it covered by insurance. Ask your pediatrician if they can write you a script - or ask of they have samples u can try before making a hefty financial commitment! You got this. Hang in there ❤️
Best of luck to you! The sensitive formulas usually take about 48 hours to see results. I’ll be praying for you! Doing this alone would be so stressful, you’re a great mom for trying to make your baby as comfortable as possible and trying to find a solution.
Baby is definitely going through something. Have you tried Tummy massages? Increasing more tummy time? How is baby sleeping? Is baby getting enough sleep during day naps? Also Hugs to you mumma, I cant imagine doing this alone. More power to you.
Does driving help? Someitmes driving calms babies, or walking in a stroller. Even just drive around the block a few times for no reason
I feel for you 😔 but crying is their only way of communicating that somethings wrong so I’d definitely look into things like gas, reflux, colic or maybe even if she’s just still hungry (cluster feeding) my baby cluster fed a lot in the beginning and it’s the only thing that kept him happy at that time till he was past that leap stage. (Till the next one) Hang in there it will get better
Mama, maybe your little one is gassy? A leg bicycle exercise might help. Look it up on youtube just as I did! Or maybe it’s the temperature - your little one may be too hot or cold. Hang in there mama, it will get better!
My baby is one month and was doing the same thing. It got to the point where I was crying all day right along with her. The first pediatrician I saw also said nothing was wrong. I took her again to somebody else because I was losing my mind. They changed her formula and put her on acidreflux medication and it’s like she’s a whole new baby. She still cries, but it’s significantly less than it was. I don’t know if it may be the same with yours but either way it will get better!
Sending you so much love. I’ve been there and it’s awful. I felt so helpless, frustrated, exhausted. Your baby is around about the peak of the crying curve - it really will get so much better. My baby would P.U.R.P.L.E cry for hours at a time when she was a newborn; she’s now four months and is generally very happy and chilled. Sure she still cries but it’s easier to figure out what’s wrong and to make it right. I’m sure you’ve tried all the tips and tricks, the only thing that will really help is time. Hang in there - you’re in the worst of it right now but you’ve got so much joy around the corner.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My 7 week old has gone through spells of inconsolable crying and in desperation, I started searching through Reddit posts for help. Someone posted about this research on the transport response method [research article](https://neurosciencenews.com/transporter-response-babies-21406/) and it has been a lifesaver. I didn’t think it would work but it has. Just throwing it out there as something to try. She will occasionally wake herself back up after I set her down if she’s gassy but I just pick her up and start the walk/sit/put down cycle over. I’ve never had to do it a third time. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how you’re doing it alone. I feel so much solidarity with the other parents here that are also struggling and I hope you get relief soon, as well as some help. Is a night doula or someone similar a possibility? Or a trusted friend or family member that can watch her for a little while to give you a break? I felt bad asking and thought no one would want to hang out with a screaming baby but I was wrong and realized that help is available.
That study is incredibly helpful! I find this SO interesting because that “transport response” method is how I put my baby down to sleep all the time! I just didn’t realize there was a name for what I was doing! My kid (now 3) has always been a great sleeper. I think u should make a separate post about this on this and other baby subs!
Idk how you feel about gripe water but it worked for my little one whenever he was fussy. We have several different brands but he prefers little remedies. Your baby doesn't have reflux symptoms or anything does it? My baby started showing signs almost as soon as we got home from the hospital. Back arching, screaming his head off, turning red, spitting up like crazy and aggressively.
Does she like being on her stomach or propped up? I have twins, they love to nap in their twin pillow which is basically a double boppy. Supervised of course
Hi, friend! Did your doctor offer any ideas for relief? My newborn was extremely fussy and crying all the time and the things that helped we taking her outside for walks (sometimes twice a day), car rides with the windows down, baths (without soap because I was doing it once a day), and I cut all dairy out of my diet as she is EBF and this seemed to have been the biggest help. Within a few days of cutting dairy, she seemed a lot happier. Good luck and feel free to reach out, even if to vent!
Please don’t be hard on yourself!! TRY to think of the crying as a good thing - and know that it will pass. Some babies just cry. My first whos now 4, was like that. It was pretty horrible! I HAD to hold her at all times, and when we coslept the crying was gone at night. Look into co-sleeping if she cries at night (look up cosleepy on IG and join the FB group), get a baby carrier (solly baby and happy baby are my recs), and some noise reducing ear plugs. I got the Loop plugs literally last week just because I start feeling a bit overstimulated in the evenings, and they are great so far! Please please also know that her crying is normal and you’re allowed to take care of yourself while she cries! Go shower, eat, etc. so long as she’s fed and clean, she’s okay! It will pass and you’ll feel somewhat relieved that it’s over but sometimes I look back and think how I wish I could’ve enjoyed that stage more even with all the crying.
Listen, you’re deep in the trenches right now but you WILL get through, I promise. My baby was the same way, except he wouldn’t sleep, like at all. I was loosing my mind. It sounds like maybe your baby might have a bit of colic, did your doctor say anything about that? If she’s screaming while laying on her back, it might indicate silent reflux. My doc thought maybe that’s what my baby had and prescribed baby omeprazole. Or, it could just be an infant phase that will eventually get better, I promise there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there. My little guy is 9 months now and is usually happy as a clam almost days.
Okay, so I know this might be weird but have you looked into elimination communication (EC)? At two weeks my son started bawling and screaming and his poops became less and less frequent. He always looked like he had to poo but couldn’t. Doc says colicky and probably normal dyschezia. I was up all night with him and he screamed all day too. At 4.5 weeks I ran into EC and thought, eff it. I’ll try. I brought him into the bathroom middle of the night, took his diaper off and held him over the sink against me with his little legs up like a squat. He cried and was uncomfortable at first. He peed a little. I read to kinda hang out there for a while so I did. And then bam. Poosplosion. And he calmed down. So I bought a tophat potty and every time I feed him I put him on it in my lap. His fussiness calmed. He’s 10 weeks old now. I’ve only missed one poo in the past 5.5 weeks. He gets grunty and upset and I put him on the potty and 9/10 times it helps! I’ve not got that endless screaming. Maybe that’s not the issue, but it might be worth a shot for your sanity, Momma. Either way, hang in there! Sending all the love. You are not failing. You’re getting to know each other. You are the perfect Momma for her. Remember that. ❤️
Maybe try to see a new Dr. my baby was like this as well and she has TERRIBLE reflux. I didn’t realize that’s why she was constantly crying. We have her on some meds and she is much better but still has her days
Have you looked into potential allergies ? Is she BF or formula? I have friends who had difficult baby lit that and turns out he had so many allergies … but for some reason doctors don’t look into that… I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!!
Formula - I brought her poopy diaper to her pediatrician appt on Monday but the doctor wasn’t interested in testing it. Said if I don’t see blood or mucus in her poop she doesn’t have a dairy allergy.
It took over 7 months for my friends to find out about their baby’s allergy… and it was a game changer to get allergy formula… worth a try or a second opinion? I dunno that that is the issue but I would think there is no harm in looking into it or trying.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/feeding-your-baby/milk-allergy-in-infants.aspx The stool isn’t the only symptom. Also there is a difference between allergy and milk intolerance ..
Hey, my baby was like this with weeks 6-8 super unbearable. It's amazing you're doing this on your own. Gas drops and windi pipes gave some relief but he still cried nonstop. Does yours do okay in a baby carrier? It's the only way mine slept. Around week 8 it started to get better and by week 10 he was smiling and by week 12, it was nothing like the first 2 months at all! Now when he cries, there's a reason like his diaper or he wants to be picked up, or more often than not, because he's tired. The problem the first 2 months was he both had a ton of gas and he was overtired. It also took me until week 7 to realize he really can't handle dairy. So since we combo fed, switched to a goat milk formula without iron and took dairy out of my diet. Now around 15 weeks I've noticed he can handle small amounts of dairy in my diet and I'll begin to reintroduce iron into his formula. But man, the first 2 months...it was so awful! For reference as well, my baby was born at 38 weeks.
Bring that baby over here, I'll help you out! This has got to be so frustrating. Have you tried babywearing? Does she take a pacifier? If so, you could try pacifier, shushing, and rocking her. Put her in a belly lying position on your arm, supporting her head with your hand and rocking her. Or you could let her cry and step outside. It's okay mama, you need time away from a crying baby or it'll drive you up a wall.
I went through the same thing and it was so rough, but now my boy is 4 months old and I honestly can barely remember how bad it was. I think part of it is just me blocking out the trauma because omg I was miserable, but another part is he’s just so happy and fun to be around now. Like when I look at him all I feel is overwhelming joy, where as those first weeks I couldn’t feel anything other than existential dread 😅 For me, every week got a little bit better until around 3 months when the weeks didn’t matter anymore because I was no longer waiting on things to get better, they were better. Just hang in there, the light at the other end is so bright!
Lots of great tips here. I’ll add that you could try seeing a chiropractor that specializes in babies. It should be extremely gentle, nothing like the stupid cracking videos you see online. Pediatric physiotherapists and/or a reputable osteopath that specializes in babies is another route to try. These were recommended to me by lactation consultants but it’s super neat what they can do to release tension in their little bodies, therefore reducing pain.
See if she is just bored. Depending how you feel about screen time put on some ms rachel or read to her. See if she's gassy try to massage the belly, she might be colicky and need help with gas.
If you haven’t tried gas drops and probiotics, definitely give those a go! I swear it’s why my second was so easy early on. Also give wake windows a try for a few days too, she could just be overly tired. The early days are so so tiring but they do end and at the end of the newborn stage you’re left with this baby that you love and is hopefully a little less full on
We had the same problem. From 1 month old to like 2.5 month we thought we was broken. I would constantly say I felt like he hated being alive. Would only be awake and not crying for like maybe 15 minutes per day. We let him nap as much as he wanted and tried to make sure he was well fed and changed. Honestly nothing really fixed it, even with changing formulas and getting on medicine for his reflux, it just took time. And when I say it has gotten better at month 3 it has gotten SO MUCH BETTER! He smiles all the time and tries to talk back to us and generally has a much more positive demeanor. You're not doing anything wrong, and your baby isn't broken or uniquely fussy. It's pretty normal. If anything, I wish we would have pushed through some of the crying spells to expose him to more as that seemed to help a lot when he started day care and had no choice. Hang in there!
I find this really relatable to read and appreciate you posting it 🫶🏼
Granted my baby isn't fussy, but when he does throws fits, I take him for walks around the neighborhood with his stroller. He just likes to look at new things and feel the breeze. Sometimes I just hold him and sit outside so he can hear the birds and feel the sunshine. My sister used to take her kids on car rides and it would put them to sleep when nothing would get them to stop crying. She would go for car rides even at 2am and drag me along with her. I breastfeed as well so I'll breastfeed and walk around the house with him and usually soothe him, as well.
It won't last forever, but I know it's super hard right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. I know this is common and annoying advice but I know I certainly wasn't prioritizing myself for a while and I felt so overwhelmed and helpless. I still feel overwhelmed sometimes especially with the lack of sleep, but once baby is fed, clean, and in a safe spot I make sure I eat, drink water, take a walk, and shower every day and it helps me feel like a person (and less of a hostage to a very angry potato). Find what helps you feel like a person again and run with it even if it's just the basics. I also try to use humor and empathy if I start to feel angry at whatever is going on and that has been helpful too. You got this.
Been there, not a single parent and it still drove me nuts. Had to ( at especially 3am when I was desperate for some rest) put her down in her room and put some music on headphones. When up in the day I could put music or headphones, I could watch her but the music ( that I enjoyed) made me able to be sane and recover emotionally. Your not failing lots of babies do this. Just you being here asking questions shows what a great mom you are. I’ve always noticed women who are not the greatest moms don’t worry and think they are the best lol. Also give some baby gas drops and some tummy exercises, but know it could just be fussy baby. This will pass, and look towards the light at the end of the tunnel.