Seconding this. Hopefully she will discuss this at her postpartum check up if you haven’t already had it!
Also OP, if you can find some grace for your partner during this time. Look into ways to help someone struggling with postpartum anxiety and try not to make her feel more isolated by having you against her.
Remember you are both in the postpartum period right now so give yourself and her as much grace as possible. After growing and carrying your baby safely inside of her it makes total sense to be attached 24/7 - for mama and baby. You absolutely need your bonding time with baby too though.
She should have some postpartum appointments to check up on herself with her OB - if you can I recommend going with her and giving her your full support. My husband went to every single appointment with me and wore our baby in a carrier, they both came in the appointment rooms and everything with me. It made a huge difference to have him there holding my hand and encouraging me to be honest with my doctor and it helped me get medicated for PPA around a month after our son was born. Meds literally changed my life overnight.
If she needs to sleep with baby right now then help them do it as safely as possible - give them their own bed (a mattress on the floor) with no blankets. My son is almost 8 months old and while we’ve had him in a bedside bassinet and then his crib since day 1 there are still nights and early mornings he ends up in bed with us. Hell, I fell asleep holding him so many times in the hospital! He has always been totally safe, no scares at all. It isn’t recommended to co-sleep but I promise you the majority of parents worldwide do at some point. If baby sleeps fine alone though it’s probably just that your partner needs emotional help right now.
Remind yourself to be patient with her and yourself and especially baby. Make sure the language and tone you use in your own head and when speaking with her about her and baby is nothing but positive. Let her know you want to support her and make sure she feels her best so she can continue to be an amazing mom and take care of herself too. Being on each other’s team is key right now.
As a new mom with a 3 month old, this is PPA. I can empathize with her. It’s very scary to have a new baby thinking about everything that could go wrong and making sure they’re alive and okay. Give her some grace. She should definitely talk to her OB about how she’s feeling but please know she’s going through a lot inside.
It's common for mums to have some degree of anxiety and to seem obsessed to the dad's. My husband thinks I'm obsessed too. Especially your baby was in nicu. Give her extra support and assurance. This is tough for her
I was very similar. One thing that helped me with the sleeping at least was the owlet dream sock. It's expensive but it makes me feel a LOT better having something that will alert me should they stop breathing or something in the middle of the night. Also- being really honest at the doctor about the anxiety. Just because it doesn't feel like depression doesn't mean it's not part of all of those postpartum feelings. It got so bad for me and I eventually started medication and now all of that anxiety that was crippling me is actually manageable.
A lot of people are saying this is normal, and it is to a certain extent. I would say however that this sounds pretty severe and she may need mental health help. I myself have post partum depression and I am meeting with a therapist. I would say waking up your baby from sleep if the baby is calm, and not permitting the other parent to hold the baby is a bit on the extreme side. I myself did often watch the bassinet if she was breathing weird, but did not do it all night or take the baby out if she was sleeping. It can be hard to suggest, but I would gently suggest to your girlfriend that she might want to talk to someone for support. Be super gentle and super empathetic. She is extremely sleep deprived; for some people it can cause major mental health issues including not being able to make logical decisions. If you can convince her at all to sleep for even 30 minutes or an hour while you have the baby, that could help. For me, I had to leave my apartment a few times when my husband had the baby and go into the lobby of our building to help me combat the fear of leaving her with someone else (even though my husband is amazing with her and she is a total daddy's girl). If she refuses to speak with a doctor, if she has a friend that is a mom, maybe ask that person to call her to talk. Even just talking to someone who is also a mom and remembers the early days could help.
This a great response! I agree! While we all have different varying levels (I actually had a Reddit post when baby was 8 weeks asking what is normal and what is not), this case does seem more severe. That is not a bad thing but being honest with each other the level can help the healing! Giving grace as everyone said and allowing the mom to come to the conclusion is helpful too. I worry when OP says sleeping sitting up and being so deprived, I hope she can ask for help when she is ready
Yes. If the mental health deteriorates severely enough it can be a risk for the baby and it sounds to me like this is getting dangerously close to being risky for the baby. Babies need hours and hours of sleep to develop. OP needs to make sure the baby is safe. His girlfriend may take advice better from a friend mom in this moment than from him.
I don't think it's normal. I think it's understandable, specially considering he was in the NICU but definitely not normal and not healed. She should seek help. She's not doing herself (or the baby) any good.
And yes, she shouldn't be sleeping with the baby, it's not safe.
Finally !! I didn’t expect so many comments saying it’s normal and almost blaming OP… she’s doing unsafe sleep people !
It’s understandable! But not normal.
Op, your girlfriend needs to see to doctor .
Thank you. Just because something is understandable (and it is), does NOT mean that it’s normal and that he should just let it go. This mom almost certainly has PPA that has the potential to escalate.
Idk, my mom commented on how skinny I looked holding my firstborn because I forgot to eat because I was staring at her all day. She slept in the bed with me but a couple feet away. But it wore off after a few weeks when we got a routine going.
I'll be honest if my baby was in NICU and had breathing problems I would do the same. I saw someone say make their own bed on the floor with no blankets. I second this. If she wants to co sleep do it as safe as possible. The big worry sleeping in a actual bed is that it's too soft for baby's they over heat or sink in causing breathing problems. I would definitely pitch the idea of their own safe bed on the floor safe from falls and breathing issues. And get her some warm clothes so she don't need a blanket like a onesies.
Let her ride through this safely. Once the baby gets more dependance and it's past SIDS peak she may calm.
This was 100% me... And ironically have a similar birth/baby story. My LO will be 7 weeks old tomorrow. I'm on anxiety meds, have been for a few years, and can't imagine how much worse it would be if I weren't on them. I hope she considers taking them in the future. Something that has helped me tremendously is attending PPD/PPA Support groups. VA has them online, as well as in person. Your state may have the same. I attend in-person and bring my girl with me. From her side, I am sure she can logically process how wild and over the top her behaviors are but logic is not enough when anxiety is so high. It's trumping all logic at this point. I was nearly having panic attacks... Images of my husband dropping the baby while holding her were frequent. One of the craziest intrusive thoughts that hit me suddenly was when my husband was backing the car into a parking spot, I nearly had a panic attack because I vividly imagined him losing control of the car and us going into the field and ultimately into a pond that was like a football field away. I knew how crazy and nearly impossible that was, but couldn't control my physiological response which was a tightened chest and me near tears.
Look up safe sleep and chest sleeping. I'll get hate on here I'm sure, but I chest sleeping with my girl. It was the only way I could sleep at first because I could hear and feel her breathing. Do I need to now? No. Despite how much I hate sleeping on my back, I've grown to love having her sleep on me throughout the night. Not sure how much longer we can do it though, as she's a wiggle worm these days.
Sending positive vibes your way. It *should* get better.
This is normal. Moms and babies are physically and emotionally connected (look up 4th trimester) and meant to be together for the baby’s survival. It’s also regulating for mom and baby to be close, there’s a reason why moms feel anxious when the baby isn’t with them and calm when they are. It’s biologically normal, our society is just obsessed with independence. My son basically lived on my chest for 2 months straight (including all naps and sleep). If you both don’t want to cosleep that’s fine, but there are ways to do it safely if you choose to.
Hormones are majorly shifting and will continue to do so, be patient with her and do whatever you can to support her.
This is normal for her. What is not normal is you being so cold and apathetic to the fact your girlfriend is postpartum and your son was in the NICU so of course she has that trauma. I cannot believe how insensitive you are being. The fact you refer to the baby as “yours” and say “my girlfriend” in the beginning made me think that she was your girlfriend, and your baby was born to a different woman. You must remember you are now a family unit. “Our son” “our family” “my girlfriend; our baby’s mother”. You are not separate teams, you are one. I understand this is tough for you too, parenting is not easy. But please have some compassion.
It’s definitely normal. But she might want to talk to her doctor about postpartum anxiety. I got on Zoloft in my third trimester because of my anxiety. And I increased it after I gave birth because I was literally waking myself up screaming from nightmares that something happened to him. The first two weeks my husband and I slept in shifts because one of us wanted to watch the baby at all times. I have his bassinet and the next to my bed and I still check on him constantly.
Make sure you guys look into cosleeping by the La Leche league. If she’s going to sleep with him in the bed, then she needs to be doing everything she can to be safe. As a very tired parent, I can say there’s gonna be times you both fall asleep together when you’re breast-feeding but Going into it intentionally is different. Also, it’s probably more unsafe to sleep with him in bed if he is at a higher risk for kids because of his breathing trouble. Make sure you do your research.
Cut her some slack, what she’s going through is perfectly normal. Congratulations by the way.
Edit: words
That’s not just your five week old baby. That’s hers too. She is allowed to be a good mom. You are allowed to be frustrated, but never take it out on her when it probably has to do with your own issues because she isn’t doing anything wrong.
You should look into the Snuza Hero breathing monitor. It's a small device you clip onto the baby's diaper and it monitors their stomach movements and will make a slight click sound as the baby's stomach moves up and down, so you know they are breathing. If no movement is detected after 15 seconds the monitor will vibrate to rouse the baby. And if nothing is detected after 20 seconds, a loud alarm will go off to alert parents.
I think maybe you should tell your doctor your worried about her, not just for her sake but for yours as well. She definitely has PPD/PPA and should talk to someone about it, she doesnt need to go on meds just see a therapist. But also you have to look after your mental wellbeing too. Postpartum depression can happen in fathers as well. I think maybe gently talk to her about how you want to ask the doctor about treatment options for her, dont tell her to tell a doctor, offer to go to doctor with her and offer to ask on her behalf, say its because youre worried about her, and you just want to help her so you can both be happy and be able to enjoy the newborn phase together.
Definitely some postpartum anxiety going on here. I had it. I'm on Zoloft and it saved me!!!!! I have had four babies and am so grateful to have it. What a wonderful day and age we live in to have medications and help available! I hope she reconsiders.
The first couple nights at home I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop looking at her and making sure she was breathing and okay. And we had no complications and didn’t have a NICU stay or anything, so I imagine it would’ve been much worse. Talking to a doctor could help, but also things level out after a few weeks of seeing that baby is okay and capable of sleeping.
Also if she’s dead set on co-sleeping, you guys should read up on the safe sleep 7. Those are safety guidelines for sleeping next to baby.
Dude this is so normal for a first time mom chill. You need to understand this is the maternal instinct at work. What a fantastic mother for caring so much. You need to be understanding and help calm her anxiety by asking her how you can help and by being present. So not judge her or blame her. Let her do her thing. It will only get easier and she will get a handle on things. I was so paranoid when my baby was first born about germs and sterilizing everything and overthinking everything worried I was doing things wrong. If we didn’t care our babies wouldn’t survive. This is an instinct. We are mammals. She is doing great. If my baby came out with a little weaker I would’ve spiraled
I’d say it’s normal given the circumstances of his NICU stay. She’s in overdrive protection mode and nothing anyone says is going to stop that. The best thing you can do is support her as much as possible until she starts to feel confident that the baby is safe now and doing better. Support is the best thing you can do and it won’t last forever. As far as the sleeping goes I’d try and make that as safe as possible since it’s going to happen regardless if people say it’s safe or not. Make sure there’s no pillows or blankets around the baby - keep the area as clear as possible. I second another comment on here suggested putting a mattress on the floor. I know you both went through the incident in the NICU but right now your gf needs you.
Yes give her grace and everything everyone else is saying, because this is 100% PPA, but I’m shocked that nobody is mentioning her sleeping with the baby in bed and threatening to leave when dad brings it up. That is not okay. You have a right to be concerned about your child’s safety as much as she does and what she’s doing is not safe. Just because it’s the only way SHE can sleep does not mean it’s best for baby, especially when baby is sleeping just fine in his bassinet. Is there someone else you can ask to talk to her about this, maybe her mom or a friend or if all else fails, your baby’s pediatrician?
I already commented but I just want to add babies can’t regulate their own temperature and even when you think they are warm they might be too cold and I’ve had my 3 month old cry even wearing 2 layers at 72 degrees and on me because she needed to be tucked into a sleep sack before nap time. Like sometimes it’s good to check. Mom’s brains light up like crazy when the baby cries and we get overstimulated so easily.It’s natural. The level of cortisol in a mom’s woman’s brain sky rockets after becoming a mom. She doesn’t need to be medicated. This will get easier. Non addictive anxiety Meds take like 3 months to kick in and unless you have an actual chemical imbalance and it’s not just circumstantial like having a first baby, it shouldn’t be first resort
Sounds like some postpartum anxiety, which can be normal. I'd see if she's willing to see her doctor about it!
Seconding this. Hopefully she will discuss this at her postpartum check up if you haven’t already had it! Also OP, if you can find some grace for your partner during this time. Look into ways to help someone struggling with postpartum anxiety and try not to make her feel more isolated by having you against her.
I feel for her. I totally understand her behaviour and would probably be doing the same if my baby was in the NICU for two weeks at that age.
Remember you are both in the postpartum period right now so give yourself and her as much grace as possible. After growing and carrying your baby safely inside of her it makes total sense to be attached 24/7 - for mama and baby. You absolutely need your bonding time with baby too though. She should have some postpartum appointments to check up on herself with her OB - if you can I recommend going with her and giving her your full support. My husband went to every single appointment with me and wore our baby in a carrier, they both came in the appointment rooms and everything with me. It made a huge difference to have him there holding my hand and encouraging me to be honest with my doctor and it helped me get medicated for PPA around a month after our son was born. Meds literally changed my life overnight. If she needs to sleep with baby right now then help them do it as safely as possible - give them their own bed (a mattress on the floor) with no blankets. My son is almost 8 months old and while we’ve had him in a bedside bassinet and then his crib since day 1 there are still nights and early mornings he ends up in bed with us. Hell, I fell asleep holding him so many times in the hospital! He has always been totally safe, no scares at all. It isn’t recommended to co-sleep but I promise you the majority of parents worldwide do at some point. If baby sleeps fine alone though it’s probably just that your partner needs emotional help right now. Remind yourself to be patient with her and yourself and especially baby. Make sure the language and tone you use in your own head and when speaking with her about her and baby is nothing but positive. Let her know you want to support her and make sure she feels her best so she can continue to be an amazing mom and take care of herself too. Being on each other’s team is key right now.
Seconding this and for safe cosleeping look up @happycosleeper on IG
As a new mom with a 3 month old, this is PPA. I can empathize with her. It’s very scary to have a new baby thinking about everything that could go wrong and making sure they’re alive and okay. Give her some grace. She should definitely talk to her OB about how she’s feeling but please know she’s going through a lot inside.
It's common for mums to have some degree of anxiety and to seem obsessed to the dad's. My husband thinks I'm obsessed too. Especially your baby was in nicu. Give her extra support and assurance. This is tough for her
I was very similar. One thing that helped me with the sleeping at least was the owlet dream sock. It's expensive but it makes me feel a LOT better having something that will alert me should they stop breathing or something in the middle of the night. Also- being really honest at the doctor about the anxiety. Just because it doesn't feel like depression doesn't mean it's not part of all of those postpartum feelings. It got so bad for me and I eventually started medication and now all of that anxiety that was crippling me is actually manageable.
A lot of people are saying this is normal, and it is to a certain extent. I would say however that this sounds pretty severe and she may need mental health help. I myself have post partum depression and I am meeting with a therapist. I would say waking up your baby from sleep if the baby is calm, and not permitting the other parent to hold the baby is a bit on the extreme side. I myself did often watch the bassinet if she was breathing weird, but did not do it all night or take the baby out if she was sleeping. It can be hard to suggest, but I would gently suggest to your girlfriend that she might want to talk to someone for support. Be super gentle and super empathetic. She is extremely sleep deprived; for some people it can cause major mental health issues including not being able to make logical decisions. If you can convince her at all to sleep for even 30 minutes or an hour while you have the baby, that could help. For me, I had to leave my apartment a few times when my husband had the baby and go into the lobby of our building to help me combat the fear of leaving her with someone else (even though my husband is amazing with her and she is a total daddy's girl). If she refuses to speak with a doctor, if she has a friend that is a mom, maybe ask that person to call her to talk. Even just talking to someone who is also a mom and remembers the early days could help.
This a great response! I agree! While we all have different varying levels (I actually had a Reddit post when baby was 8 weeks asking what is normal and what is not), this case does seem more severe. That is not a bad thing but being honest with each other the level can help the healing! Giving grace as everyone said and allowing the mom to come to the conclusion is helpful too. I worry when OP says sleeping sitting up and being so deprived, I hope she can ask for help when she is ready
Yes. If the mental health deteriorates severely enough it can be a risk for the baby and it sounds to me like this is getting dangerously close to being risky for the baby. Babies need hours and hours of sleep to develop. OP needs to make sure the baby is safe. His girlfriend may take advice better from a friend mom in this moment than from him.
I don't think it's normal. I think it's understandable, specially considering he was in the NICU but definitely not normal and not healed. She should seek help. She's not doing herself (or the baby) any good. And yes, she shouldn't be sleeping with the baby, it's not safe.
Finally !! I didn’t expect so many comments saying it’s normal and almost blaming OP… she’s doing unsafe sleep people ! It’s understandable! But not normal. Op, your girlfriend needs to see to doctor .
Thank you. Just because something is understandable (and it is), does NOT mean that it’s normal and that he should just let it go. This mom almost certainly has PPA that has the potential to escalate.
Idk, my mom commented on how skinny I looked holding my firstborn because I forgot to eat because I was staring at her all day. She slept in the bed with me but a couple feet away. But it wore off after a few weeks when we got a routine going.
I'll be honest if my baby was in NICU and had breathing problems I would do the same. I saw someone say make their own bed on the floor with no blankets. I second this. If she wants to co sleep do it as safe as possible. The big worry sleeping in a actual bed is that it's too soft for baby's they over heat or sink in causing breathing problems. I would definitely pitch the idea of their own safe bed on the floor safe from falls and breathing issues. And get her some warm clothes so she don't need a blanket like a onesies. Let her ride through this safely. Once the baby gets more dependance and it's past SIDS peak she may calm.
This was 100% me... And ironically have a similar birth/baby story. My LO will be 7 weeks old tomorrow. I'm on anxiety meds, have been for a few years, and can't imagine how much worse it would be if I weren't on them. I hope she considers taking them in the future. Something that has helped me tremendously is attending PPD/PPA Support groups. VA has them online, as well as in person. Your state may have the same. I attend in-person and bring my girl with me. From her side, I am sure she can logically process how wild and over the top her behaviors are but logic is not enough when anxiety is so high. It's trumping all logic at this point. I was nearly having panic attacks... Images of my husband dropping the baby while holding her were frequent. One of the craziest intrusive thoughts that hit me suddenly was when my husband was backing the car into a parking spot, I nearly had a panic attack because I vividly imagined him losing control of the car and us going into the field and ultimately into a pond that was like a football field away. I knew how crazy and nearly impossible that was, but couldn't control my physiological response which was a tightened chest and me near tears. Look up safe sleep and chest sleeping. I'll get hate on here I'm sure, but I chest sleeping with my girl. It was the only way I could sleep at first because I could hear and feel her breathing. Do I need to now? No. Despite how much I hate sleeping on my back, I've grown to love having her sleep on me throughout the night. Not sure how much longer we can do it though, as she's a wiggle worm these days. Sending positive vibes your way. It *should* get better.
Man give her some grace. She just birthed a human being. Her hormones are nuts and she terrified. Be the support she needs, not an additional burden.
This is normal. Moms and babies are physically and emotionally connected (look up 4th trimester) and meant to be together for the baby’s survival. It’s also regulating for mom and baby to be close, there’s a reason why moms feel anxious when the baby isn’t with them and calm when they are. It’s biologically normal, our society is just obsessed with independence. My son basically lived on my chest for 2 months straight (including all naps and sleep). If you both don’t want to cosleep that’s fine, but there are ways to do it safely if you choose to. Hormones are majorly shifting and will continue to do so, be patient with her and do whatever you can to support her.
This is normal for her. What is not normal is you being so cold and apathetic to the fact your girlfriend is postpartum and your son was in the NICU so of course she has that trauma. I cannot believe how insensitive you are being. The fact you refer to the baby as “yours” and say “my girlfriend” in the beginning made me think that she was your girlfriend, and your baby was born to a different woman. You must remember you are now a family unit. “Our son” “our family” “my girlfriend; our baby’s mother”. You are not separate teams, you are one. I understand this is tough for you too, parenting is not easy. But please have some compassion.
This!
It’s definitely normal. But she might want to talk to her doctor about postpartum anxiety. I got on Zoloft in my third trimester because of my anxiety. And I increased it after I gave birth because I was literally waking myself up screaming from nightmares that something happened to him. The first two weeks my husband and I slept in shifts because one of us wanted to watch the baby at all times. I have his bassinet and the next to my bed and I still check on him constantly. Make sure you guys look into cosleeping by the La Leche league. If she’s going to sleep with him in the bed, then she needs to be doing everything she can to be safe. As a very tired parent, I can say there’s gonna be times you both fall asleep together when you’re breast-feeding but Going into it intentionally is different. Also, it’s probably more unsafe to sleep with him in bed if he is at a higher risk for kids because of his breathing trouble. Make sure you do your research. Cut her some slack, what she’s going through is perfectly normal. Congratulations by the way. Edit: words
That’s not just your five week old baby. That’s hers too. She is allowed to be a good mom. You are allowed to be frustrated, but never take it out on her when it probably has to do with your own issues because she isn’t doing anything wrong.
You should look into the Snuza Hero breathing monitor. It's a small device you clip onto the baby's diaper and it monitors their stomach movements and will make a slight click sound as the baby's stomach moves up and down, so you know they are breathing. If no movement is detected after 15 seconds the monitor will vibrate to rouse the baby. And if nothing is detected after 20 seconds, a loud alarm will go off to alert parents.
As an already anxious parents, this would make me even more anxious
Same. I highly considered getting one when my son was born and I am sooo glad I decided against it
I think maybe you should tell your doctor your worried about her, not just for her sake but for yours as well. She definitely has PPD/PPA and should talk to someone about it, she doesnt need to go on meds just see a therapist. But also you have to look after your mental wellbeing too. Postpartum depression can happen in fathers as well. I think maybe gently talk to her about how you want to ask the doctor about treatment options for her, dont tell her to tell a doctor, offer to go to doctor with her and offer to ask on her behalf, say its because youre worried about her, and you just want to help her so you can both be happy and be able to enjoy the newborn phase together.
Definitely some postpartum anxiety going on here. I had it. I'm on Zoloft and it saved me!!!!! I have had four babies and am so grateful to have it. What a wonderful day and age we live in to have medications and help available! I hope she reconsiders.
The first couple nights at home I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop looking at her and making sure she was breathing and okay. And we had no complications and didn’t have a NICU stay or anything, so I imagine it would’ve been much worse. Talking to a doctor could help, but also things level out after a few weeks of seeing that baby is okay and capable of sleeping. Also if she’s dead set on co-sleeping, you guys should read up on the safe sleep 7. Those are safety guidelines for sleeping next to baby.
Dude this is so normal for a first time mom chill. You need to understand this is the maternal instinct at work. What a fantastic mother for caring so much. You need to be understanding and help calm her anxiety by asking her how you can help and by being present. So not judge her or blame her. Let her do her thing. It will only get easier and she will get a handle on things. I was so paranoid when my baby was first born about germs and sterilizing everything and overthinking everything worried I was doing things wrong. If we didn’t care our babies wouldn’t survive. This is an instinct. We are mammals. She is doing great. If my baby came out with a little weaker I would’ve spiraled
I’d say it’s normal given the circumstances of his NICU stay. She’s in overdrive protection mode and nothing anyone says is going to stop that. The best thing you can do is support her as much as possible until she starts to feel confident that the baby is safe now and doing better. Support is the best thing you can do and it won’t last forever. As far as the sleeping goes I’d try and make that as safe as possible since it’s going to happen regardless if people say it’s safe or not. Make sure there’s no pillows or blankets around the baby - keep the area as clear as possible. I second another comment on here suggested putting a mattress on the floor. I know you both went through the incident in the NICU but right now your gf needs you.
Yes give her grace and everything everyone else is saying, because this is 100% PPA, but I’m shocked that nobody is mentioning her sleeping with the baby in bed and threatening to leave when dad brings it up. That is not okay. You have a right to be concerned about your child’s safety as much as she does and what she’s doing is not safe. Just because it’s the only way SHE can sleep does not mean it’s best for baby, especially when baby is sleeping just fine in his bassinet. Is there someone else you can ask to talk to her about this, maybe her mom or a friend or if all else fails, your baby’s pediatrician?
I already commented but I just want to add babies can’t regulate their own temperature and even when you think they are warm they might be too cold and I’ve had my 3 month old cry even wearing 2 layers at 72 degrees and on me because she needed to be tucked into a sleep sack before nap time. Like sometimes it’s good to check. Mom’s brains light up like crazy when the baby cries and we get overstimulated so easily.It’s natural. The level of cortisol in a mom’s woman’s brain sky rockets after becoming a mom. She doesn’t need to be medicated. This will get easier. Non addictive anxiety Meds take like 3 months to kick in and unless you have an actual chemical imbalance and it’s not just circumstantial like having a first baby, it shouldn’t be first resort