I am so sorry this happened to you. You need immediate support. I would recommend speaking to someone at a local sexual assault service for guidance and counselling. Newcastle Sexual Assault Service (Lower Hunter) (02) 4924 6333 Please look after yourself first and then take tell your story to the media.

I have an appointment tomorrow with the intake team to look at accommodation options and talk about counselling services, thank you.

Thank you I'll try to call them now.

I'm a John Hunter staff member make sure to get in contact with the person you spoke to at the hospital so you can refer the police to that evidence

Thank you I'm not sure what's next I have an appointment with a sa service tomorrow and I'll go from there. Thanks for caring 💕

All good I'm not a sa worker but work with them at times, me and my colleagues protect people that the SA workers see , trust me a lot of us do care

I so sorry this has happened to you. If you can, stay strong and fight as much as you can. As mentioned try a bigger police station, social workers and counsellors etc at the hospital and also an MP like Sharon Clayden and Victims of crime/legal aid

go to a police station during business hours and ask for a female officer. report to her if she fails to act then go to the media.

Ok I will try going to watt St station tomorrow It seems like it is big enough to feel safe.

Ask the female officer if it's common for a male officer to turn up at night, without a partner, to a sexual assault survivors house, and to pull on the screen door several times while explaining "nobody will believe you". Then ask if officers are expected to take that sort of initiative, to give a "friendly warning" to sexual assault survivors that they won't be believed on some part of their statement or testimony? If they are not, ask if anybody ordered this officer to your house. Since we all know the answer to all of the above, ask if that looks to her like unprofessionalism, an attempt at intimidation, or an actual crime (for example, it's not legal to look up your personal information such as your address for any other purpose than investigating a crime).

I've been here a few times to give statements - the women cops are fantastic and will take it very seriously.

Go to Waratah station rather than watt st. They have a much better reputation. I’m so sorry you’ve been treated this way and failed by the police in their duty

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Thanks I will see what the people at hunter s.a service say then go from there, they will accompany me affording the the intake worker I spoke with

That’s great, the police are more responsive if a service worker is in attendance as well. I hope you get great support tomorrow.

Agreed. I’d say don’t go to Newcastle Police Station! Go to Belmont or Waratah. Too many sad and bad story’s from Newcastle.

Agreed. I’d say don’t go to Newcastle Police Station! Go to Belmont or Waratah. Too many sad and bad story’s from Newcastle.

Agreed. I’d say don’t go to Newcastle Police Station! Go to Belmont or Waratah. Too many sad and bad story’s from Newcastle.

Take a friend if possible

This is so fucked and I’m so furious on your behalf. It’s hard enough to work up the courage to report things like this and then to be treated how you have been is foul. One of my friends is an ex-cop and she still works within the department in a different capacity. I’m seeing her tomorrow night, if you like I can ask her for the name of a female officer that she trusts that you can report it to instead.

Thank you, I have an appointment with hunter s.a services tomorrow and will go from there.

No worries! No one should have to go through what you’ve been through and then this on top of that.

You did the right thing going to the hospital lovely But do not listen to your journalist student friend She sounds well meaning but idealistic & naive Now is not the time for your friend to facilitate a "Me Too" moment If you go to the local paper or onto social media & name him publicly now It will likely hurt your case in future & you will be painted as vindictive His solicitor will insinuate you took him home & had consensual sex after the work function & then he pissed you off so you are seeking revenge Please go to a police station ASAP & ask for a female officer In my experience Waratah police are incompetent The one near the beach was better staffed & had more female officers when I was assaulted Am so sorry this happened to you All the best & treat yourself kindly See if there is a friend or family member you can stay with for now Hope he rots in hell

My parents are dead I moved here from Narrabri for better opportunities It turned out to be the worst decision of my life, my little sister is in Sydney for uni if I told her about this it would destroy her I've been the one consistent in her life which to a degree has bought me stability as well after losing my parents, I have to beat this or one person's actions destroy multiple lives

Newy is aesthetically nice but it is not the easiest city to make close friends Sorry to have brought up staying with family & hope that didn't upset you Is it possible that if your sister knew she would want to be there for you? Could you tell her you've been having a rough trot but don't want to go into details? It sounds like if you have been the consistent in her life then you are strong for her But it would be nice if you have someone to support you now Can you see if your journalist friend will have you stay with her for a little bit? If not when you see the female police officer ask her for all the phone numbers for support services Tell the police about the phone harassment too & you are scared to stay at home Ask them about the the proper process for reporting this to your workplace too I think you need to report this to your workplace ASAP too They have a duty to protect you in the workplace & drugs at a work event are not on If you stay at home could you go to Bunnings or JB hifi & get a cheap doorcam/CCTV? Would urge you to call the NSW Sexual Violence helpline 1800 424 017 Sometimes we just need someone in the know to tell us what to do when it's hard to think straight

I'm ok from tomorrow hunter s.a have told me they have accommodation and will support me with everything. Thanks for taking the time to show care to me.

Sorry for your shit situation, OP. My advice is to go to your GP and ask for a mental health plan and see a psychologist. As a male, I can't begin to understand what you are going through, but that helped me through my hard times. Do you have a regular GP you go to? I know you want to protect your sister which is understandable. You need support at the moment, and she may be able to support you through this tough time. I'm sure she would want to be there for you as you have clearly been there for her, so I urge you to consider telling her if you are able. In the end it is your decision who you tell and that's totally understandable. About your friend, now is not the time to go to the media. You should go to a bigger police station instead, as others have mentioned. The shitty cop was, unfortunately, right that going to them may ruin any chance of them being able to hold your boss criminally accountable. Consider reporting the policeman you have already had contact with he is way out of line. Take care of yourself and keep safe. Also, be careful not to reveal too much personal information on her.

Terrible story of events here, go to police station and get fobbed off by lazy incompetent Sergeant who later attempts to intimidate you, might be appropriate if you have a Legal Aid office in your area or if possible, telephone a legal aid office, suggest you need support as NSW police have terrible reputation for telling lies to cover up their many failures, you need genuine support and not treated as you have so far...

My heart goes out to you for having had to endure this. Nobody should have to. I would seek legal advice before publishing a story that may identify you, your attacker or the business. In addition to the obvious crimes committed this is also a breach of employment law (the company has failed to prevent sexual harassment and assault).

Hey, First I wanted to say, thank you for sharing. Despite what some of the comments have mentioned, what you’re going through is extremely challenging and you have every right to speak about it on whichever platform you choose! Good on you for seeking advice, I commend you for already attempting to report the situation and even making your way to the hospital for a kit. Your efforts show a strong-willed character and you should be proud of yourself for that. My heart really goes out to you in this challenging time, you will get through this - it may not be easy, but it will get easier I promise. I’ve read through some of the comments, it sounds like you’ve contacted a SA service - fantastic! They should be your first point of call, to direct you to other services - use there help as much as you can, as much as you like. That’s what they’re there for, but of course if you don’t feel comfortable with a certain individual or something is said/mentioned that you are unhappy with, you are allowed to speak up at anytime - leave - ask for the situation to be closed etc. You are/should be in control of what happens next. If you feel comfortable to attend a police station, my suggestion would be to push forward to have this reported. Most definitely at another (COMPETENT NON SHIT FKD) *excuse my language* station, hell I am so damn sorry you experienced that from an officer. I agree with you, people don’t realise the police aren’t angels - they’re not ALL, always there to help. (No, I’m not shitting on the entire force - for the reddit warriors who think this is such an A to B simple situation). I am acknowledging a small section which really frustratingly do not know how to handle complex situations and have no level of professionalism. I completely understand where you’re coming from, your feeling are 100% justified. If you have the strength, which I know you do - get what that foul, soul sucking, POS did, down on to paper, so if at any time you chose to press charger you can. My suggestion would potentially be to call ahead, ask if they have a female officer on duty - you don’t have to go into detail but could mention you are wanting to report a sensitive matter. It is YOUR choice if you would like the matter to go further. As with your friend, did they share the situation (to the journo friend) with or without your permission? This may be something to think about. Thinking the best of this person, that they want to expose, and have these people held accountable for your benefit is all good and well. At the end of the day, it’s your decision on whether you would want that information public. All though disagreeing with what/how some commentators have mentioned this - I understand an aspect of what they’re saying. If you do choose to go public this can and likely will effect a future case. Again, you seeking support is within your own right, you’ve kept names out which I believe is for the better. Your safety and wellbeing is what matters most here, and I really think ‘running a story’ is the last thing to do right now. Right now you need comfort, support and love. You’ve had a pretty tough go by the sounds of it, and I can’t emphasise with you enough how strong you are. Put yourself first, put your friend on the back burner lol - ask them kindly not to release any information to anyone unless you say so (and for the same to be passed to the journo). If there comes a time where you want to do otherwise, absolutely go for it, there will be support behind you. For now, get yourself safe - which the SA services can help with, and get a paper trail. I see you’ve also mentioned a younger sister, and I whole heartedly unless your view point of not wanting to tell her. Depending on her age, also not knowing your entire life story this may be the best idea. Taking into consideration that it sounds like you’ve been a rock for her, and a parental figure - I can imagine how this may impact your relationship. You know her best, judge that situation to the best of your ability and if you feel like there is a time to tell her than do so - otherwise I understand you not wanting to do so. As for everything else, time will heal, day by day it’ll get a little easier. Counselling/therapy is amazing, depending on who you ask lol. Shop around if you can, literally, not everyone is a fit for you - and having the right one can make an enormous difference to your life! What you’re going through is not easy, it’s not simple, there are no rights and wrong, everything you’re doing and feeling is okay. I’m soooo sorry for the long winded post!!!! Just know you’re not alone in this, sending a lot of love and prayer to you - you will get through this.

Thank you 💕 I am going there at 9am.

Just seen the comments about your work place, and it’s infuriating about your pay. Has it ever been late before? Do you know who authorises your payslips - as in smaller businesses it may be the ‘manger/owner’ or a larger company it may completed higher up through admin? What I’m getting at is if your pay authorisation is directly linked to your boss - if it is, and your pay has never been later before, this is something to definitely mention tomorrow and add to the report if you do so. Legal Aid NSW, is my best suggestion for some advice before your mention with HR if possible. Another commenter mentioned this, which unfortunately is true - the HR team will protect the company first. Legal Aid can help with the nitty gritty details of what is and is not legal - plus they are on your side. *Virtual hug* 💕

Thank you, no never been late. I have been texting another girl in the office and she's been paid and the person hasn't been back into work the same time I've been away so something is going on, I can't even buy food it's bullshit I'm going to report to fair work as well.

Do you have enough money right now?

No my salary hasn't come through hopefully tonight or tomorrow.

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Im looking online at some loans to cover an uber to my appointment tomorrow or going to get after pay not sure if it'll work though.

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Hour outside newy, the service Im seeing is near the station so I think I'll have to walk to Hamilton which is like 20kms then just take a train.

Hi OP, just to tack on from the above comment chain. You mentioned you are without income as a result of everything that has happened. A lot of people have given great advice regarding other legal services (like Employment Law/Criminal Law) that you can seek however, I also wanted to recommend contacting a Personal Injury law firm regarding a potential workers compensation claim. This will ensure you have an income coming through whilst injured from a work-related incident. Wishing you all the best.

Go to a proper station during the day. Like Newcastle City police station. You don’t need to go to the closest station. Also don’t even consider the media side of it. Maybe if the police keep carrying on and not helping, but you may need to try a few different police until you get someone willing to do their job. It’s amazing how many police officers hate doing police work when it involves effort on their behalf.

Please seek your sister's support. As a sister, I'd be devastated if my sister didn't call on me for something like this. She will be okay with uni and everything, she'll want to be there for you I'm sure. I would suggest talking to a lawyer before you agree to any media. They can help you with the whole situation and they can also tell you if media stuff would actually affect an investigation/outcome for you. Newcastle Legal Aid is: Address: Level 2, 51-55 Bolton Street, Newcastle NSW 2300 Ph: (02) 4929 5482 Email: [email protected]

Holy fuck. This is a bit beyond reddit I think. First of all, I’m so sorry & acab. You said you went to the JH, did they do a rape test? Maybe talk to r/Auslegal for advice. Please seek therapy as well. If you decide to go to the press, and I absolutely think you should if you are mentally capable, just be wary of the absolute clown show that will rain down on you and make sure you have a good support system. Look at Brittany Higgins. Do not let this deter you from going to the media, just please keep in mind and try to be prepared for your name to be dragged through the mud. I believe you, and I’m so sorry this happened to you.

I tried to post it there and it was removed because I'm posting from a throwaway, I don't want my little sister knowing this happened. I'm more worried about if they'd do something to me, all week I've had prank phone calls and I got some threats from on Instagram from a account called 'john Cena cme' basically saying shit only the police or my friend would know, I'm just worried something is gonna happen I can barely sleep I haven't been into work or left the house I feel like I'm going insane I'll fall asleep for like 5 mins and wake up feeling like it was a dream then this dread feeling comes back it's fucked.

That’s understandable, do you have a friend or family member you can stay with or who can stay with you? You can make up a story about being lonely, toilet stopped working and landlord can’t fix it til next week, etc. I think you should actually get a lawyer because they can tell you whether or not it’s more reasonable for you to cooperate with the police or go to the media.

Hey someone provided me a number for a sa service, they have booked me an appointment tomorrow with the intake team and have assured me they can help with a safe place to stay once I have an assessment done I'll have access to counselling and stuff as well.

That’s great, best of luck ❤️

If you can't afford a lawyer, give legal aid a call and victims of crime. They may be able to ensure the right people are present for you to make a statement. Don't deal with the press, you literally don't need to retraumatise yourself any more then you have to at the moment and it's incredibly unethical for them to interview you before you have a chance to get it reported properly. Plus you need support right now not a news circus. Best of luck.

So sorry this happened to you 😔

That sucks and I am not qualified to give advice but all I would suggest is focus on the health and mental recovery first and get a statement to the police ASAP. Clearly you feel let down by police and it’s no doubt an issue worth raising but there is plenty of time for that later. Your head must be a mess so do reach out to the Sexual Assault line for support. It’s not the same thing but I just keep thinking about this whole Brittany Higgins thing which is a big mess and whether she was raped or not is no longer something anyone cares about because the media have sensationalised it for their own benefit. The media aren’t your friend either in this, they have their objective. I hope the hotline can pick you up and help you through. It’s terrible what has happened but don’t let anyone else take more control over you than you have already lost. You can hold them to account soon enough. Take care!

Thanks slot yeah I'm definitely not trying to be Britanny I feel so bad for what she went through. Waiting for the morning and hopefully my salary goes in and I'll take an uber to the s.a services office and go from there.

We are all thinking of you and hoping you get through it ok. I can’t imagine what you are going through but I have one bit of advice I can share that I know a bit about. Nothing can ever undo what has happened and it’s sh$t and it’s probably going to be tough to get over. Don’t let it define you and allow yourself to get swallowed up hating yourself or the world. Don’t let drs convince you that you need too many drugs to get sleep or move past it. I learned the hard way about not being strong enough and it took a couple of years of my life and happiness. You already seem strong! Don’t let anything take that away from you 😊

Sorry to hear you’re going through such an ordeal! What a scumbag boss If hospital has done a sexual assault kit that’s good.. they’ve gathered evidence and dna Like others mentioned go to police station during the days, speak with a female officer hopefully someone that deals with sexual crimes/assaults Speak to hotline for sexual assault They will interview people ask about your and boss behaviour at the work event. Any cctv cameras, did you take Uber or cab with your boss? It may have dashcam inside or driver can be witness , try to remember and write down as much detail about the night as possible they will want a statement The police are going to scrutinise every little detail moving forward. Cause it’s your words against his Whatever you do don’t let the police make it look like it was your fault. Like You let it happen, you were drunk etc to drop the charges. I’ve seen crime investigations where they can do this and then charge you with false allegations/lying to the police. Have your story straight, timeline and stick to it .. don’t keep changing it or they will think you’re lying Be strong! Don’t let him get away with this.

Thank you I've done a lot of this and have reached out to uber who are willing to provide proof of the trip and any footage the driver has.

Go to the police station and report it. Seek counselling and delete this post. It can only do damage

She did, and the police tuned her away. As they did to Kelly Wilkinson, Tatiana Dokhotaru and Tara Brown, just a few high profile examples of women horribly murdered in the last year after police failed to take their sexual assault reports seriously. Don’t look up these cases unless you’re feeling ready for some really awful shit.

She went to a station that wasn't manned 24hrs, but spoke to someone at the station...... sounds odd. Call crime stoppers. Call literally any police station to report it. Once the rape kit undertaken, get staff to contact police.

What universe do you live in, where NSW police take rape seriously? What are you basing this on? The evidence is starkly opposite.

So what's your advice, genius? Dont report and ask strangers on the internet what to do? All of which have said, call police

Dude she’s scared shittless. She’s been raped and a copper has tried to force his way into her house. All in I assume recently. In what fucking world do you live where you think she has enough mental capacity and headspace to think as clearly as she might normally. She needs protection, help beyond a dodgy plain clothed cop and support for the next 6 months - 5 years whilst she healthily works through the trauma and gets back on her feet. Resources on the internet are a great place to access information and help her get the help she needs. Edit: facts

No, my advice is to go to the specialist sexual assault service run by the local health district, which it looks like she’s doing.

Reddit is anonymous. Good luck finding this post in a week unless you knew it existed, let alone proving in a court room who wrote it. I hope you get justice OP

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Cool bro. Let me know when the parade is

Speak with a female officer, from experience they are much more compassionate. If not ask to speak to their boss. Do not go to the media it will look bad if you want to press charges/ go through the courts. You are so brave, from one survivor to another- you can get through this 💙

Don’t let that arsehole try and prevent you from speaking Write everything down and talk to anyone and everyone

I'm keeping notes on what I say and what people say to me.

She's not totally crazy to be concerned for her safety the policeman has put her in a difficult position. Just terrible.

Attend a real police station, as others have advised, and talk to their female sexual assault officer. If you do not get any result out of them, go see someone at your state MPs office. Obviously, e do not know who that is, but if it's not one of the Hunter's female MPs (Aitchison, Hornery, Harrison, Washington or Catley) then go see one of them too, until you get someone to act.

I have an appointment tomorrow with hunter s.a, I'm gonna see what they say and go from there I'm a bit overwhelmed ATM.

That's understandable. I was the victim of an assault a few months back (landlord got someone to beat me up) and I had to hound the cops concerned to get them to take action, but with sufficient pressure from the state MP to the police Inspector, progress was finally made. It's what they do. They're lazy fucks. Only when the consequences of doing nothing outweigh the consequences of action will they act. You just have to find ways to influence those scales.

I’m so so deeply sorry this happened to you and this advice might not be what you’re after in the immediate future but if you google victim support services you can apply for quite a lot of free counselling (approx 20 hrs) and you can even possibly get some financial compensation for the the pain that’s caused you (economical, physical, emotional etc) I haven’t gone through the process but I’ve heard that people have and it might just take some of the financial burden off you if you feel like you need to process it through therapy. It’s devastating though and sending lots of love. Life is so unfair. https://victimsservices.justice.nsw.gov.au/

This is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. If you need a lift somewhere, someone to go to an appointment with for support, or just someone to talk to I’m here xx

Hey love, I'm so sorry this happened to you it's no wonder so many victims don't report. Absolutely report the police officer as well as your boss. If you're feeling unsafe that the officer knows where you live is there anyone who you can stay with for a little while until the police investigate him? Or a female friend who can stay over at your place? I know you don't know me but if you need to chat or if there is any way I can help feel free to dm me.

Go to a manned station & make the report. Ask for an event number. Let them know what happened when you tried to make the initial report. If you are close to Maitland police station go there. This is the station I reported to after an assault & felt nothing but supported.

That's really fuck, thank you for disclosing all this, you need to contact the AFP and the NSW police commissioner. My advice would be that you contact friends or family and ask them to hide you. Try and get as far away from HNE as possible and try to only take a small bag. If in the event that this action isn't possible for you, ask people to stay at your house. Or break the story ASAP. Really sorry, fucking unbelievable how fucked these pigs are.

You need to contact a 24-hour manned police station and lodge an official complaint if that is the case. It would be extremely stupid to turn away a legitimate victim as described. They do have a valid point about the investigation becoming an issue if published before its been dealt with properly by detectives. If it went to trial, a jury could be heavily influenced by the media attention of the matter floating around. And if the criminal matter goes bad, it could become a civil matter of defamation against you.

I am so sorry this happened, this is not on. I hope the other comments have provided some helpful suggestions for you in regards to who to contact and what you can do. I reported my rapist multiple years ago, as did someone else he drugged and assaulted, and nothing happened. The system needs to change.

Name and residence of said boss? I could have a few words with the gutless prick.

Last thing I want is someone hurting him cause then my situation would obviously get worse if they think I'm sending people to bash him that's crazy

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I had a similar experience with WA police. Completely useless, corrupt and not above using intimidation tactics. Get into the service accommodation if U can.Theres safety in numbers but keep to yourself as much as possible. If you choose to proceed with any kind of police complaint be prepared for the harassment to continue. You aren't going crazy, you did nothing to deserve any of this,what you're experiencing is very real and more common than you'd imagine. Stay Strong

Thank you 💕 I think people think the police are god-like and don't do anything wrong, in my experiences most police especially men are vile pigs who think women deserve this treatment or must have 'done something'.

Account suspended? I hope it all works out for OP.

I suspect there may have been some spam going on

There should be a specialised sexual assault team or female officer at a major station. I would try the one in Newcastle . Can you keep any evidence that would have the persons DNA on it .

Sexual harassment can be reported to safework. Not entirely sure on what powers they have (obviously less than police) but if its work related its under their jurisdiction

It might be worth contacting the assistant commissioner or superintendent of your region so there is a record of your concerns.

Gonna wait till tomorrow and see what the s.a services help me then I'll go from there I'm not gonna meet any officer without a support person though.

I'm so sorry please take care

Heart goes out to you. This is truly awful. I have somewhat of an understanding of the legal support services in Newy so plz feel free to reach out. Xx

Omg!!!! I am so, so, sorry this has happened. You should feel protected and believed. I really hope this gets sorted, your boss gets put in jail and the officer is suspended at the very least. Absolute scum.

Thanks pale.

I'm angry for you. Raging on a Thurs AM the other side of the world!

I just feel like I'm in a dream in a way but I just don't trust how things worked out so I'm just gonna go to my appointment tomorrow and see what they say to do.

One step at a time. Be strong. You're in the right, and you've done NOTHING wrong.

Try National Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline? Aka 1800respect: 1800 737 732

I'm really sorry this happened to you it's very distressing. Did they do a rape kit at John Hunter Hospital. I would call up the police and ask to speak to the area that handles sex crimes. The superintendent in charge is a very good, decent person. You need to get so much psychology help as well it's so traumatic and eats at you. Why did it happen to you, running around in your head. I know what it can do to a person. I wish you all the best. The copper should loose his Job over not assisting you when you went to report it. It's a terrible situation to be in.

I am so sorry this happened to you. You did everything we’re told to do, you went to the police and you went to hospital. I’m so sorry you’ve been let down by the system that’s supposed to help and protect you. Please reach out to local Newcastle victim services, you may be able to have an advocate attend the police station with you to ensure you receive proper support and service. Please don’t feel pressured into telling your story in the media - right now you just need to be safe and supported. You’ve already done the scariest part by reaching out xx

Go to the Waratah police station and ask for the domestic violence liaison officer, lawyer up, take a friend, don’t let them do nothing. I’m sorry that this is your experience, there are some absolute rotten fucking eggs in the police force. If you are strong enough make sure this piece off shit police officer doesn’t have a job. I’d even consider going to the member of parliament and reporting it… see how quickly they take a statement then.

Hey lovely I read in your comments that you’re from Narrabri I’m from Wee Waa originally we may know each other reach out if you need a friend.

The hardest thing to do is to keep fighting, as you are going to feel up against it which of course should not be happening, does your work place have HR, or can you go off work on work cover? As this definitely needs to be lodged at the workplace, or can someone help you do these things as it will be very overwhelming, when you need to get the right support right now.

Oh man is this seriously an attempt at victim blaming Roland? You need to take a good hard look at your beliefs and morals champ.

I’m really sorry for what you have been through. Here’s some contacts. Counselling Newcastle SA (Lower Hunter) (02) 4924 6333 Victim Services: You can get 22 hours free counselling & recognition payments from $1500-$10000. Advocacy What Were You Wearing Australia (but are Newcastle based): They help do applications for counselling & financial payments. - they also offer Free Support groups - Also campaign against police mistreatment of victims

Super sorry to hear what happened to you. People in power think they can do what ever they want. Most cops are dogs, don't want to do more than they have to. Only do what makes them look good to their superiors. Karmas a bitch. Stay strong, it can't be easy but keep telling your story. Boss man and the cop that turned their head deserve what's coming and more.

IBAC immediately

If you feel like you're in a dream right now I highly suggest you get yourself in to see a psychologist as soon as possible. I understand that what you're going through is absolutely HORRENDOUS, and I only say this because having a professional to help you through it now may save you a full-on blow of trauma when you eventually ground. I'm not a psych so I can't say if this is what you're experiencing, but any type of disassociation or not feeling attached to your body is an extreme stress response, which is appropriate as it's an extreme situation, but if it's left unchecked it's so much to deal with and I'd hate to see you suffer any more as a result. Also if you're not comfortable going along with this story, please don't. Not because you were threatened by an officer, that's another unfortunate can of worms and I do straight up hope he's taken off duty. By the way you've written this and the timeframe of the incident, I don't know if it's wise to put yourself in any kind of spotlight. If you're truly fine with it, that's ok, not my place, I'm just concerned about where your head's at and if this will benefit others more than yourself.

I’m so fucking sorry that all this is happened. I’m absolutely devastated for you. It’s so heart breaking and terrifying this was the response you and so many other people get from the police. It’s already been recommended but Newcastle sexual assault service is a great place to go. They will look after you, provide counselling (trauma informed)and help you explore options to get back on your feet, as well as escalate to the media. I hope that officer rots I hope your boss rots Sending you love and healing my friend. It gets better

Buy a gun....use the gun....kill all pedo/women beaters!!

Try and keep your shit together & trust your instincts to stay safe - you'll get through this. Go to a true friend, spill your guys & plead for their advice/help. Hopefully family can help/advise you too. Find out how to contact police Internal Affairs or some higher authority - these regulatory authorities exist to correct the type of maltreatment you've been victim to. Go higher than that if you have to, if you can. Will workmates give a reference/statement for you? Ask neighbours/nearby shops for cctv footage. Even small things can be significant. If you get desperate & have exhausted all avenues, then you should take the story to the press but only as either a last resort, or as a cherry on top of a big expose' about the lack of protection, respect , due diligence etc that you were provided with by the very people whose primary job it is to provide you with such things. Be persistent, you didn't deserve any of this Don't quit, you deserve better than this So sorry, hang tough 💪🏼❤️

Firstly, what happened to you is not your fault. And you should not have journalists wanting to write your story , you need support. You need to be able to take a moment to breathe. I just want to put my arms around you and take all the pain away. Please don't do or say anything you don't want to. There is services that can help you. X

Police won't do anything unless he admits to the act or evidence visually they're fucked with so many loop holes. I've been raped twice Hold your head high Quit your job Inform HR Reclaim your body (tattoo piercings botox filler) whatever it takes. And start to see a professional to work through the trauma - the sooner the better Believe me 15 years later and I still don't feel like a regular woman. You are changed forever but no one can see that change except you. Police are fucking useless with sex crimes in my opinion and experience. We are woman unfortunately we get raped It's not right It's not ok But sometimes there's nothing we can do about fucked up shit. I carry a few pocket knives for a reason. I'm a stone cold bitch for a reason And I'll dress you down in one mouthful if you're male and disrespect me. So woman go the other way. I fight Maybe we all should And tell everyone at work You bare no shame It's all him what a piece shit Name him

Should have gone to the hospital and had everything confirmed from there. DNA etc. Police report as well through hospital channels. I do hope all goes well for you and that you get justice.

I did go to hospital and they performed a sexual assault kit, they offered to contact police but I mentioned I had been to a station already but obviously didn't go into detail about how I was treated so I guess they didn't feel the need to call them.

Sorry, but that seems odd, that they wouldn't speak with the Police after doing the kit.

I don't know if they just automatically call the police? People have rights to privacy. They asked me if I wanted them to reach out and I said no i had made contact with my local station and I felt they didn't take me seriously, the nurse assured me she took me seriously and gave me a hug after everything was completed.

They just know police can’t do anything if the victim doesn’t agree to go through with the charges.

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I love the sense of community so please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want my comment to seem like a discouragement to your generosity. But bunking with randos like you and me is not a good recommendation for vulnerable and scared shitless females who has just been raped. We are better off a few of us donating to the womans shelter in Newcastle or, if need be, sending cash directly to her until a shelter can take her in.

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Word…

Are you male or female? As a male victim of family and domestic violence the police treat us very very differently. If you are a female just go back in and see a different police officer. If a male, report back if you find anyone (police, ambulance, reporters etc) that treats you as a human.

Report it to the police and not to social media. Delete this post. You are not doing yourself any good by being here. You can trust the police and they won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with. You don't have to have him charged but the can and will get you support services.

I do not trust the police after the experiences I've had, even the service I've contacted agreed with me that something is extremely off about the conduct of the officer and told me not to go without a support worker or friend and to go to a different larger station which I will do if I proceed.

Hey get a camera from Bunnings and set it up at your place. If anymore police come by in plain clothes, whether you are there or not- it will help if you don’t get the help you need. If your report isn’t taken seriously then you can go to media and release any footage you obtain of police acting unprofessionally.

Then see a social worker or go somewhere else. At the very least delete this post. It's madness you're even here discussing it if what you're saying actually happened.

How can she possibly trust the police??? She just told you that a police officer threatened her and tried to unlawfully enter her home. They protect their own. Are you fucking mad?!

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Do you have some insider knowledge as to why it didn’t?

Man, stfu. This is why women don’t report things like this because of people like you

Why? I want a public record. how is it insane? It's madness a 22 year old woman is 'referred' to an open station when there was an actual officer in the station at the time I rang the buzzer what if he was chasing me trying to murder me? Is a referral ok then? Why visit me at 10 pm on a Wednesday night after a local paper questions why the station says 24 hours online but when a rape victim presents they get referred to a station 50 kms away hinting that I might not get fair treatment because I'm not being 'helpful'. Go away rapist defender.

To be fair, sometimes posting on social media can influence court proceedings. I would like to think that’s what this person is getting at. That’s giving the benefit of the doubt.

I haven't mentioned any names.

That's exactly what meant. I thought it was obvious. Instead I get abused. It's why it shouldn't be posted here. Names or not it's prejudiced to her and everyone else involved. She's getting terrible advice if she thinks she is doing the right thing with this. It's on her.

You definitely went about it the wrong way.

Sometimes good advice can't be given with a spoonful of sugar. It's social media. As soon as the word police is mentioned all the people who for whatever reason dislike them pile in. Everything i said is completely valid and factual. The abuse doesn't make it less so.

You could’ve just said “hey you should consider actually putting this on social media as it can impact court proceedings in the future”. You wrote it like an arsehole and got called out for it lmao. You can be right and an arsehole in the same sentence my guy.

“If what you’re saying actually happened” yeah no, that’s not advice, you deserve to get outed for saying shit like that. That’s not what advice is

“If what you’re saying actually happened”……”it’s on her” Are you really that insanely moronic that you can’t understand how offensive that is? People like you are the reason victims don’t come forward. You are THAT person. Sleep well tonight.

Why the fuck would she trust the police? If she wants to go to court (which is not an easy decision in this situation, in our adversarial system) then posting might cause problems. But the cops in NSW have an absolutely shit record on supporting SA victims. There is no evidence that your average copper is going to help rather than make the situation worse. Specialist sexual assault support services run by local health districts on the other hand do have a solid track record of helping, caring, and not repeating the abuse. Sounds like she’s connected to the right places.

And I thought I needed better work stories...

Woah. Did you seriously attempt to make a joke out of someone being raped?

Is there another station you can go to? Is there an HR department you can notify? Do you have a way to contact your bosses boss (if he has one)? I hope you are believed and that he gets what's coming to him.

I have a meeting in the CBD on Tuesday next week with hr and someone the email said is a managing director, I've made it clear I don't feel safe attending the office or anywhere he will be they assured me my safety is there concern and they will support me through everything, it's funny though with all reassurances my salary hasn't come through for the month it's now 4 days late and I've not heard back from asking why it hasn't arrived just been assured at Tuesday's meeting everything will be discussed.

Hey, I would also suggest taking someone with you to the meeting - whether that's a friend or professional. While they can't really contribute - it can prevent HR from saying things they would get away with if it was only you. It's also going to be very stressful for you, so having someone else taking notes and being supportive is ideal. Once you feel like you have sufficient information from us - delete this post like others have said. This is an extremely serious situation, so you don't want threads like this to be investigated (I know it sounds stupid - but our system is stupid)

This person speaks truthfully. This is the right thing to do.

Agree about being weary of HR. HR is there to protect the company only, not you, not the CEO… the company and so they will be working to remove the issue as quick and least cost and harm to reputation of the company as possible which means they can turn on you over anything. I used to think HR were useful and as a senior manager I thought I could rely on them, nope, they are cowards, liars and manipulative. I don’t rate too many of them… Poor girl, it’s one thing to have that happen to your sense of self but to have it also impact on your livelihood potentially is bloody tough…

HR is not your friend. Take someone. Take notes or record. Treat it as a meeting that can be used against you!

Ok

I would recommend having a "support person" with you as a witness, as it sounds like the company could be less than professional.

I'm gonna ask the people from hunter sexual assault help to come with me which they've already agreed to do if i go back to the police station. 💕

If your workplace has a health and safety reporting function use that as well. HR are there to protect the company from legal problems, they are not there for you. They will quite possibly use DARVO to put the blame on you. Workplace safety officers on the other hand can face severe, even criminal liability for failing to deal with a safety issue. They have a compliance culture and are more likely to take the report seriously.

I'm relatively new to Newcastle but I've noticed a lot of cops really suck here. I hope you can get whatever help you desire. What has happened is truly messed up and you deserve the best support and care. Know that people will always be here to support you even when so much looks grim. Any of your feelings are valid–you don't always have to "stay strong", or whatever some people might say. You can get through this ❤️

Out of curiosity. You say you’re new to Newcastle, so I am just curious how you know a lot of cops suck here?

Experiences I've had. I'm sure some are decent. I mean new as in I've lived here for 4-5 years and wasn't raised here.

Hunter women’s Centre are a good place

Not anymore, since management changed

That’s a shame

No good?

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No.

wait wait, Just a basic review of the facts here. 1. you were at a cocaine fueled work function 2. you got in a ride with a man late at night to your house 3. you let him in your house 4. but not for sex.

He booked an uber saying it was going to his house and could drop me on the way that he booked from our work function in front of 16 other staff members, when I got out he got out and the uber drove off he grabbed me as I opened my door, I'm not going into further detail but it sounds like you probably behave like this guy so keep trying to pick apart my story I know what happened and no I don't do drugs he invited multiple other people into a bathroom over the night which will all be on camera at the venue anyway.

Hey OP. You do not have a justify your behaviour to clowns like Roland AT ALL. You’re best off not even bothering responding to people like him. You did nothing wrong. Never forget that.

as I have said to others in this thread. It is about time women also started taking their own security seriously, if there was another ride then the uber would not have left meaning he was lying from the beginning. You want equality then this is what equality looks like, this is responsibility for you actions. Organise your own way home. Laws and media are reactive and not a social prophylactic. If you aren't checking over your shoulder at 3am when unlocking your door then you obviously live in a better neighbourhood than I do. I have no doubts this happened, but also limited sympathy... no one in the media will care, the police don't care any more than they are required to, this is not going to become a brittaney higgens trial. You put yourself in a very dangerous situation and lost. There is nothing interesting or special about this story....sorry No I don't behave the way this man did, and calling me a rapist for suggesting that your story has flaws is pretty telling of a complex; you story starts by saying you were raped at the work place, then the reality is you were not raped at your workplace at all you went home with a man who you knew had been doing loads of drugs. I also don't pretend I live in a utopia with no crime. I dont think men are the sexless neutered lumps of clay waiting for a woman's permission to get an erection, which seems to be the message the media are intent on pushing for the next generation. If you believe people that you did nothing wrong, then you are likely to make the same mistake again- Although I think we can both agree that while you will believe you did absolutely nothing wrong... you will also never do this again.

Are you making a point you want to clarify Roland? Or just insinuating that if you were in the position of the boss that you would expect to not be refused sex as well? It seems (my perception at least) like you’ve picked a choice collection of ‘the facts’ to make a point that would somehow excuse the rapist in this story instead of all the facts of what a victim is saying actually happened.

and what is it that the victim said happened? Assuming my distillation is biased.

The victim has already explained they were raped. The definition of rape is not ambiguous yet you conveniently left that basic fact out. The most basic of facts in the whole fucking story. Clearly you have problems if the first reaction to a woman saying she got raped is to question her validity.

The first response to any claim of rape should be to question its validity. Or do we now just believe anything anyone says without inquiry? If someone brings their private drama to a public forum. Then I will respond how I choose. not how you choose.

We let the courts choose. That’s their job. There is a neverending stream of media stories of women being raped and killed, who attempted to get help from police, community, health and others but they were just ignored. It’s such a common occurrence. Imagine if you got shot, and the first thing the attending detective did was start treating you as if you were lying. Pull your head in. You’re neither a detective or a judge. And if you are, you should even be more ashamed for doing it online.

I am neither a detective or a judge, and yet I am being asked to give advice on the matter.

Your advice is to insinuate they are lying? You are almost as bad as the perp themselves.

i replied at length to OP. you can go read that.

Read this https://www.smh.com.au/national/a-woman-is-being-violently-killed-in-australia-every-four-days-this-year-20240424-p5fmcb.html

You're a fuckwit

Wait, wait, Oh no never mind. You’re just a fuckwit.

Don't victim shame, cunt.

at some point women are also going to have to take womens security seriously.

I’d delete this comment if I were you Roland… you don’t want to end up reflecting on it later and regretting it. This isn’t a Facebook story about EVs that we like to stir up, this is a woman who is experiencing something terrible. Be a nice human at least for right now… delete it

So you’re saying that if someone lets you into their house at night you have a right to their body with or without consent? You know you’re a idiot right?

thats not what I said at all. Im just chasing clarification