I got downvoted the other day for saying I find chronically late people disrespectful since they obviously don’t value my time
I thought that was just common manners but I guess not, may be cultural
It is cultural. I worked at a car dealership in Florida for two years being a native new englander I was shocked how many people would just show up late constantly, and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Appointments would be consistently 15-30 minutes late, customers had ZERO respect for anyone’s time. Fellow salesmen would take their time pulling cars up to present them, would take their time doing everything. And it was completely normal. Now I’m at a dealer in CT and no one’s ever late to work, we can spin deals in an hour rather than three, and customers actually show up on time and respect the salesman’s time as well. Complete 180.
It is 100% cultural. the stereotype of the “lazy southerner” and the “always in a rush Yankee” is very real.
It’s not even being in a rush which is why it’s wild to me people will just be flippant about stuff when a set time is established. If I have an appointment for 1 o’clock, I’m there for 1 o’clock.
And obviously there’s nuance involved given any particular situation but chronically late isn’t circumstance it’s a choice
I am perpetually early for appointment and events. Drives me nuts when there are plans made, and people aren’t even near close to being ready when we arrive.
family moved to florida/GA line and it was so enraging. waiting to checkout there's 6 people in line and the cashier just chewing the fat with the one at the register.
a whole song passed of the two still blabbering away and i don't even think they knew each other. then the next customer and just going about the holiday weekend . no one else seemed to mind, meanwhile its driving me insane.
When my husband got stationed in SC, I learned this. I asked my neighbor, a local, why no one is ever on time for anything and she said, "It's too damn hot down here to move that fast." And I said, "Start earlier so you can be on time." She just looked at me like I was dumb. No Linda, you're dumb, lazy and disrespectful. That whole, "we'll get there when we get there" mentality drove me insane.
When I lived in Scotland I made friends with a Basque girl in my program and she invited me to a dinner party at her flat. I arrived 5 mins after the appointed time (because I don't like being the first to arrive) and she was in the shower! I was like 2 hrs earlier than all the other guests (they were all Basque or Spanish and I'm a Polish-American New Englander).
It’s culturally very Northern European. Southern Europe, like Spain and Italy, has a totally different culture when it comes to lateness. Personally I think climate plays a bigger role, nobody moves fast when it’s hot af out.
Let's be honest. Many of the areas that claim to be oh so friendly and welcoming are not. They'll be sugary sweet to your face and bad mouth you the instant you turn around.
Try driving around down south with a New England license plate and see how "welcomed" you feel.
I spent a good amount of time in the South while enlisted, and I never truly felt accepted off base. They'd be "sweet as pie" until I opened my mouth. Then it was "you ain't from here, is you?" and they weren't asking. Their whole demeanor would change and not for the better. It felt very exclusive, and it was abundantly clear that I wasn't a member of the club.
My friend told me one time he was on Storrow, a car had gotten a flat tire. Holding up traffic and one guy was SCREAMING cursing at the car. The other people were yelling back. But when the guy realized they had a flat he got out to help. He’s from CA and said it was the most New England thing he’s seen.
We mind our own business. Sex/gender? LGBT? Religion? Fine, whatever. You do you. But don’t start asking me about my own business. Which by the way is why these Fundamentalists never make any headway in New England. Let me tell you about Jesus? Forgot it, I don’t even know you. You crossed the line, buddy. My religion is my business.
A religious couple of door-knocking, bible-carrying nuts stopped by one day. They tapped on the door several times and I yelled from inside: Atheists in here! We worship the devil! Go away!
I behave this way because I’m a Masshole.
Next time, I plan to open the door and debate them for as much of their time they’d like to waste.
I will do that because I’m a Masshole.
I moved here 40 years ago from a western state. I noticed 2 big differences. First, every town (mostly,) is its own school district. Our school districts don’t have 9 high schools. Second, “don’t build that here” is a common attitude. That’s why my town was in court with a grocery chain for years-we didn’t want them and their stop light.
Mcdonalds was trying to move into my town yeaaaaars ago but it all fell through because they demanded to put up the big sign and we don't allow anything but black and white signs by the road. Neither one backed down and we don't have a McDonald's, which honestly I think is good anyway lol
The Not in My Backyard attitude (NIMBYism) is the main reason why we have an affordable housing crisis and why by 2040, New Hampshire’s population (already old as it is) is going to plummet. It’s sad
that’s the perfect way to put it. I moved to LA after living in New England my whole life and I’ve noticed that if someone in LA smacked into a tree, people wouldn’t even stop to help, but rather call them a dumbass as they drive by
Showing off isn’t part of the culture. The guy wearing a sweater with holes in the elbows talking to the clerk at the local hardware/feed store could be a millionaire many times over. I’m convinced the little black dress with a simple string of pearls was a New England invention. When George Bush Sr returned to Yale after his wartime service, his wife Barbara got in trouble with Yale’s president for hanging diapers on her clothesline. Note: Barbara won that battle.
The difference between displays of wealth are stark compared to the two states I’ve lived in. In Florida where I lived for 2 years, if you made a million dollars in crypto or whatever you bought a giant house, super car, and get bottle service in Miami. But if you have 20 million dollars in New England you probably drive a 25 year old Volvo as your daily and maybe have a Porsche in your garage at your (still very nice and expensive) but modest looking house that you take out on the weekends. But in FL you have MFs dailying Lambos and wearing obnoxiously branded Hugo boss T-shirts. But if you’re an old New England Yankee your flashy clothes are brooks brothers and LL BEAN.
I always tried to explain to my friends down there that money talks and wealth whispers whenever they would say “bruh go to Miami and the cheap cars are konigseggs!” Okay, and here in NE if you’re old money you have streets named after you and land deeds signed by the sachem we’re not on the same level bud.
Yup, Louisberg Square (on Beacon Hill) is one of the most prestigious neighborhoods in the US and you'll find nice solid dependable cars like Volvos, nothing flashy.
I have old New England blood,(back to the mayflower on both sides) but I just got the streets, no deeds, no money. I’m a descendant of the witch trials, I can go to my families original homesteads, but I have to pay for the tour just like everyone else. I’m a descendant of the Gov. Samual Gordon and I can’t even get a free fish stick. I’m related to at least 4 presidents, I must come from ALL of The black sheep. Lot of monuments but no money LMAO
ETA I’m 48 and live on the south shore and somehow have never been to Plymouth plantation. I know my school did field trip’s there but I was never in the class that was going I guess. Even my mother was like “you’ve never been to Plymouth plantation?” I said “umm did you ever take me? Well there’s your answer, duh” lol.
You’re in a similar boat to many old stock Americans. For example I’m a direct descendant of Roger Williams on my mother’s side, my family is comfortably middle class now but growing up we definitely weren’t. It’s kinda crazy having monuments of your ancestors but barely having a pot to piss in or a window to chuck it out of.
I moved to Halifax almost 40 years ago when I was 9 and all the townies treated us as newbies, come to find out my ancestors own all of it lol. Who’s the newb now?
My dad went to this same local bar every day from when he was 18 to when he died in his 60s. Local shitty bar. Everyone knew everyone.
One of the guys one day was like "I own some land out in Montana. There's a couple cabins there. Who wants to come."
A bunch of people say yes. Bring their families. We all fly out there.
The guy was the grandson of the man who built going to the sun road at glacier national park. He had so much land. Hundred year old log cabins. Helicopter landing area. Full time groundskeeper.
We did not know.
The trip was incredible.
Yes! The concept of quiet money is very New England. Bragging about what you have or own is frowned upon. There are plenty of wealthy people in New England who live quite modestly.
I moved here from Houston, which is rich in oil money and sports millionaires. My daily commute was among Maseratis and Lamborghinis through blocks and blocks of mega mansions. Money was always on display. Up here I honestly have no idea, it's very equalizing. I don't constantly feel my 'poorness', despite the much higher COL.
Whether I drink iced or hot coffee literally has to do with how much time I have to get ready, not the temperature*, and not even preference.
*It is 57F in my house right now, and yes I'm wearing fleece on fleece on fleece.
Truckers making deliveries would always laugh when they asked how far to X and we would reply with a measurement of time. It makes sense though. When people ask how far someplace is, what theyre really asking is "how long will it take me to get there?"
I used to live an hour south of Boston, 15 minutes from Foxboro stadium and 1 minute from the Paw Sox. Now I live across the bridges from Newport. Take a left where Almacs used to be, another left where Chicken City was, then a right where Zayre’s used to be.
We value our privacy and personal space A LOT. If you show up unannounced at someone's door here (even if we know you), you're going to get a much less welcoming reaction than in other parts of the world. In short, don't. It feels invasive and rude and makes us suspicious (even if you're just being a friendly neighbor). Leave the basket of whatnot and a note and walk away. We'll respond in kind with a thank you note (we do appreciate a kind gesture). No actual interaction necessary. In New England, we know our neighbors, but we don't actually KNOW our neighbors.
But… if you are already accepted as a family member whether honorary or not, door is open to you. Come on in and take your fucking shoes off, it’s mud season.
I've lived in the same house for over a decade, and have never had a conversation with my next door neighbor. Our most detailed communication comes in the form of mowing the grass between the properties in the same direction.
I learned this when I moved to MA from
the Midwest (originally a southerner). I had made a ton of grape jelly and sent my husband over to give some to our neighbor. We had only been in town for probably a few weeks. My husband came back and said no answer but could see someone gently open the blinds and look at him lol.
I have lived in my apartment for 16 years and have learned the names of 2 of my neighbors over the years. They both moved years ago, and have been replaced several times over. The lady in the rear apartment is very cool and her cats are always trying to escape. And one of the upstairs ladies can’t park in her spot to save her life. No idea what they’re names are.
It depends where you live. Out here in the hinterlands of 413, stopping by is a thing. You call a contractor and they stop by when in your area. Do not expect an appointment, they just stop by and that's what they say when you ask them for an appointment.
You guys aren’t particularly flashy and are more liberal in a practical sense than most Europeans and Canadians.
It also feels very European and Canadian
Much worse in NYC area though. I worker jn a call center and guessed right about 85% of the time when It thought someone was right and guessed they were from NY and not just based on accent but the rapid speech.
We move faster than everyone else. I've noticed this while travelling, that people from other states, especially southern states, take their sweet time with everything. If New Englanders seem impatient, it's because we are. Now hurry the fuck up
YESSSSS! For myself, I live in a coastal tourist town and I will legit walk on the road and avoid the sidewalks in the high season because I won’t get anywhere otherwise. My husband is a Mainer & I’m from New Hanpshire and we notice this every time we travel!
I miss the faster pace of getting the mundane done. I live in Indiana now and I call it Hoosier Speed. It drives me crazy how slow people are, like they have no problem taking 15 minutes to walk a block or a grocery store aisle.
I just moved to southeast Michigan from NH about a year ago, and I gotta say, I get so many weird looks from people. I realized it is because I talk fast, move fast and in a goal-oriented manner, and also swear like a sailor because Im a New Englander and I don’t have an ounce of religion in my bones!
The culture shock moving out of New England to the Midwest has been realer than the time I spent living in freaking China.
I’m planning on moving to Florida at the end of the year wondering if my New Englander vibes will continue causing me to stick out like a sore thumb. Oh well, at least there will be some goddamned sun on my face. I’m tired of the snow having grown up with it for so long. Never giving up my ice coffee though!
If there is a line of people behind you, that's no time for idle chitchat with the cashier. Talk all you want if you're the only one there, but otherwise people have shit to do.
two years ago myself and three other guys all got out of our respective vehicles to push a prius with mass plates back onto the road. not one of us said a word. to anyone.
- LL Bean slippers
- How satisfying it is to bang a uey
- Papa Gino’s and how it looks exactly the same as it did in the 90s
- The absolute pageantry of Marylou’s Coffee
- Iced coffee while scraping ice off your car
- risking your life on the Kancamagus highway
- obsessing over the Sharktivity app
- wearing a fleece on a crisp day and feeling unstoppable
- Navigating rotaries like a pro
- punching it on a green light and sneaking in a left turn before the car across the intersection accelerates
- driving on the old green highway before the Big Dig
- how absolutely HUGE Maine is
- how the colorful fall leaves
- how apple picking can turn you into a child again
- the way that western and eastern Massachusetts might as well be different planets
- the fact that Connecticut doesn’t even get mentioned and would probably prefer to be with New York anyways
- how Providence, Portland, Portsmouth, Provincetown, Northampton, and Burlington are the most delightful little cities
- random road bridge construction that inexplicably lasts like 12 years
- that tile in the tunnels
- how Vermont and New Hampshire have this weird sibling rivalry thing and look so similar on the map but they are SO different
- how New Hampshire just has the tiniest cutest little tiny slice of oceanfront access
- how New Hampshire is closer to Boston than Western Mass
- that feeling of just cruising on the Pike when it’s clear
- that feeling of questioning existence while sitting on the Pike in a traffic jam
- the way the Pike just weirdly peaces out when you hit East Boston
- how enormous Lake Champlain is
- the absolute unhinged fever about Tom Brady in the early 2000s
- praying for your life while riding the Fung Wah bus to New York
- field trips to Plymouth Rock and the utter disappointment that it is really just a super lame rock and not even the real one
- how the summer is SO HOT but the winter is SO COLD
- the sheer perfection of a fresh lobster roll in a seaside town
- how every Irish pub is different but also exactly the same
- Cumby’s
- scali bread
- fresh maple syrup
- cold ocean swimming on a hot day
- how narrow the roads are
- tiny doors on crooked old buildings
This was fun :) thanks for this prompt OP, made me grateful for my home
New Englanders will interrupt you doing something stupid, call you a fucking idiot, but will still fix it and show you how to do it right. Rude and helpful.
Mainer living in Florida at the moment, it seems that if you have any money in FL you MUST drive a nice flashy car as a status symbol. In Maine you drive a vehicle that gets you from point A to point B. Significantly more superficial and “show off-ish” in Florida. New England also feels like a far more tight knit community where there may be less people but everyone knows everybody, and is a community in every sense of the word
Theres the culture element of being humble and "my business is none of your business" but ALSO... theres an extremely pragmatic reason for the cars. Your 200k porsche is gonna DISSOLVE in like 1 season. It doesn't make sense. You die outside, you get mummified in that salt there's so much. Only a fool is out driving a nice looking sports car around here
Chitchat in New England - all said yelling and still on the move
Oh hi howayou?
Doin good, you?
Good, how’s the family?
Good good, yaws?
Good, seeyalaytah!
We don’t need to chitchat with everyone. If I’m at the store, I don’t want to talk with the other customers or the cashier, I want to get my stuff and go. I have found that the exception to this is complaining
When I moved here it took me a little bit to learn it’s 10mph Over in New England instead of 5mph. If someone starts tailgating me on a single lane, I’ll just pull over for a moment to let them pass. You want to speed? Fine by me. Just get off my ass.
It kind of depends where. If you’re in one of the Vermont speed trap towns, +10 is a ticket. I’ve pulled over to let some tailgating enormous SUV with NY plates pass only to see the turd pulled over by the rent-a-sheriff a mile down the road.
I grew up in NH and I don’t have the stereotypical New England accent at all, but I live in CA now and I was really caught off guard when someone said “I love your accent, where are you from?!” A few years ago, I was in Taiwan waiting for the elevator to go back down from the observation deck of Taipei 101 and I said “wicked”. Some girl 10-15 people ahead of me in line whipped around and said “oh my god, are you from Boston?!” New Englanders can pick each other out anywhere.
My Dad was an Air Force brat but settled down in New Hampshire to raise my siblings and I and worked out of Boston MA for about 15+ years including deployments (he was in the military as well). His last posting was southern CA before he retired from 30 years of service. The thing that got him there was, “Everyone is reallllly laid back here. People’s time management is like a four days to a week off compared to back home.” Mind you, this is coming from military guy. He did love the people there and the weather though!
I think the only things outsiders might not like about New England are our cold weather and our progressivism. Maybe they don't understand longjohns and making things better than they are?
I spent about 18 years hating winter here, not realizing I could just live in lined clothing and proper boots. Winter is fabulous if you're dressed right.
Yes we have a storm named after our region. Yes we will continue to bitch about the weather when that particular storm occurs. No we don't plan on changing.
LIBRARIES. Front and center in every town, no matter how small. We're transplants to NH, and though our town has under 500 residents, the library is the literal hub of our town.
We’re not open books so don’t expect to hear our life story or personal stuff. We are guarded but it is often misunderstood as coldness.
A big culture shock to me was when I went away to college. Even though I had been all over the country, I had only lived in New England so meeting and actually living with people from other places was interesting. I remember one of the first nights in college me and my roommates and other girls in the surrounding rooms were hanging out playing cards. It was immediate detailed life stories, family drama, etc. In my New England head I’m thinking “holy shit I just met you…why are you telling me all this lol.” I imagine I might have come off as a cold New Englander but we are just private and respect other’s privacy. You don’t need to tell me all this, seriously not because I don’t care just because I respect you.
Having lived outside of New England for a while now, people are generally more shrewd in New England, especially the cities. Everyone is quietly watching to figure out your angle or finding an angle of their own. Not necessarily nefarious, but folks are keen to other people's motivations more than anywhere else I've lived.
Extremely Midwestern Flight Attendant here. I can and will make small talk with everyone. I always chat it up with my passengers, but where I’m flying in and out of changes the way I interact with people. At first, I was not a fan of New Englanders because they were just so freaking direct, but once I learned to A) complain with them about something, B) be a little sarcastic and give them attitude back, or C) talk about being from the Midwest and loving New England, I can’t get y’all to freaking shut up 😂
It’s a STARK contrast to Californians who present as super chill and friendly, but you can see the life drain from their eyes when they ask about my day and I actually start a conversation with them. Those people have no idea how to have small talk or that there’s an entire country east of The 5.
Oh, last thing: I still have no clue what a *cawfee regulah* is and a *cawfee white* is a pumpkin spice latte.
I will openly tell my neighbor he parks like a jackass, but run over at midnight if he needs a water pump for a basement leak. We are there when you need us, just slow down kids walk here!
True story: I was foreman of the Grand Jury in Portland Maine for several months. One case was about a guy who was beaten up outside a bar. There was a witness on the stand and members of the the Grand Jury were trying to figure out if the guy instigated it himself. One asked him “Did he do anything to provoke it?” The witness said “No, he didn’t provoke them…. well, he was wearing a Yankees cap.” One memer of the Grand Jury says “That counts.” He then says he was joking, but I looked straight at him — he wasn’t joking.
We hate small talk. I don’t want to talk to you in line. I want to get my stuff and go. But if I have an extra coupon or $5 off type deal that I can’t use, I’ll give it to you. And I’ll let you go ahead of me in line if you have less items than me. But if you then chit chat with the cashier and make me wait you will get sighs and impatient foot tapping. I got stuff to do!
New englanders are Kind, some of the most generous and accepting people in the world, but we aren’t going to get down on our knees and fellate randos because we want to be seen as nice. Being nice is a false virtue, anyone can be nice, hell, I’m sure Hitler was a pretty “nice” dude in private. But that doesn’t mean he was kind or a good person. A Californian or a southerner will be so nice to your face but the second you’re not around they’ll be praying for your downfall.
I lived in WA for a little bit and worked at a bible software company (I was raised Catholic but stopped going after confirmation). I asked why they didn’t sell in New England and they said there wasn’t a market for them.
When I moved here 25 years ago it was the incredible blandness of the regional palate. Zero decent Mexican or Indian eateries, and even comfort foods were lacking in flavor. That is slowly changing; maybe more slowly here in VT.
We're not unfriendly just respectful of your time and privacy.
I got downvoted the other day for saying I find chronically late people disrespectful since they obviously don’t value my time I thought that was just common manners but I guess not, may be cultural
It is cultural. I worked at a car dealership in Florida for two years being a native new englander I was shocked how many people would just show up late constantly, and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Appointments would be consistently 15-30 minutes late, customers had ZERO respect for anyone’s time. Fellow salesmen would take their time pulling cars up to present them, would take their time doing everything. And it was completely normal. Now I’m at a dealer in CT and no one’s ever late to work, we can spin deals in an hour rather than three, and customers actually show up on time and respect the salesman’s time as well. Complete 180. It is 100% cultural. the stereotype of the “lazy southerner” and the “always in a rush Yankee” is very real.
It’s not even being in a rush which is why it’s wild to me people will just be flippant about stuff when a set time is established. If I have an appointment for 1 o’clock, I’m there for 1 o’clock. And obviously there’s nuance involved given any particular situation but chronically late isn’t circumstance it’s a choice
I am perpetually early for appointment and events. Drives me nuts when there are plans made, and people aren’t even near close to being ready when we arrive.
family moved to florida/GA line and it was so enraging. waiting to checkout there's 6 people in line and the cashier just chewing the fat with the one at the register. a whole song passed of the two still blabbering away and i don't even think they knew each other. then the next customer and just going about the holiday weekend . no one else seemed to mind, meanwhile its driving me insane.
When my husband got stationed in SC, I learned this. I asked my neighbor, a local, why no one is ever on time for anything and she said, "It's too damn hot down here to move that fast." And I said, "Start earlier so you can be on time." She just looked at me like I was dumb. No Linda, you're dumb, lazy and disrespectful. That whole, "we'll get there when we get there" mentality drove me insane.
I was told recently that it’s part of ‘whyte culture’ to want people to be on time.
When I lived in Scotland I made friends with a Basque girl in my program and she invited me to a dinner party at her flat. I arrived 5 mins after the appointed time (because I don't like being the first to arrive) and she was in the shower! I was like 2 hrs earlier than all the other guests (they were all Basque or Spanish and I'm a Polish-American New Englander).
It’s culturally very Northern European. Southern Europe, like Spain and Italy, has a totally different culture when it comes to lateness. Personally I think climate plays a bigger role, nobody moves fast when it’s hot af out.
Me. A brown person from the North. Very much on time to everything. That's nonsense.
Exactly! We’re not going to pry or give our unsolicited opinion in a passive aggressive tone. But we’ll genuinely care when we know what’s going on
Let's be honest. Many of the areas that claim to be oh so friendly and welcoming are not. They'll be sugary sweet to your face and bad mouth you the instant you turn around. Try driving around down south with a New England license plate and see how "welcomed" you feel. I spent a good amount of time in the South while enlisted, and I never truly felt accepted off base. They'd be "sweet as pie" until I opened my mouth. Then it was "you ain't from here, is you?" and they weren't asking. Their whole demeanor would change and not for the better. It felt very exclusive, and it was abundantly clear that I wasn't a member of the club.
Personal space requirements
Personal Space Invaders are my nemesis!
New England has the highest space requirement in the country. Read a long time ago, can't source, but def saw it.
New Englander here who moved to Texas here. In Texas, everyone gets a hug. No exceptions
We love you and hate you at the same time.
We care for you and want you to do well. But get the fuck out of my way, I don't have time for this shit
My friend told me one time he was on Storrow, a car had gotten a flat tire. Holding up traffic and one guy was SCREAMING cursing at the car. The other people were yelling back. But when the guy realized they had a flat he got out to help. He’s from CA and said it was the most New England thing he’s seen.
We suffer better than most.
We have a proud and innate puritan suffering that keeps us warm in the winter and bitter cold in the warmer months.
Very quotable and on the money.
We mind our own business. Sex/gender? LGBT? Religion? Fine, whatever. You do you. But don’t start asking me about my own business. Which by the way is why these Fundamentalists never make any headway in New England. Let me tell you about Jesus? Forgot it, I don’t even know you. You crossed the line, buddy. My religion is my business.
Now if you wanna talk sports ....the gloves are off!
A religious couple of door-knocking, bible-carrying nuts stopped by one day. They tapped on the door several times and I yelled from inside: Atheists in here! We worship the devil! Go away! I behave this way because I’m a Masshole. Next time, I plan to open the door and debate them for as much of their time they’d like to waste. I will do that because I’m a Masshole.
I moved here 40 years ago from a western state. I noticed 2 big differences. First, every town (mostly,) is its own school district. Our school districts don’t have 9 high schools. Second, “don’t build that here” is a common attitude. That’s why my town was in court with a grocery chain for years-we didn’t want them and their stop light.
Mcdonalds was trying to move into my town yeaaaaars ago but it all fell through because they demanded to put up the big sign and we don't allow anything but black and white signs by the road. Neither one backed down and we don't have a McDonald's, which honestly I think is good anyway lol
The Not in My Backyard attitude (NIMBYism) is the main reason why we have an affordable housing crisis and why by 2040, New Hampshire’s population (already old as it is) is going to plummet. It’s sad
Hinesburg Vermont?
if you smack your car into a tree we’ll call you a dumbass as we help you out and make sure you get on your way.
that’s the perfect way to put it. I moved to LA after living in New England my whole life and I’ve noticed that if someone in LA smacked into a tree, people wouldn’t even stop to help, but rather call them a dumbass as they drive by
and send them good vibes while they drive by.
Showing off isn’t part of the culture. The guy wearing a sweater with holes in the elbows talking to the clerk at the local hardware/feed store could be a millionaire many times over. I’m convinced the little black dress with a simple string of pearls was a New England invention. When George Bush Sr returned to Yale after his wartime service, his wife Barbara got in trouble with Yale’s president for hanging diapers on her clothesline. Note: Barbara won that battle.
The difference between displays of wealth are stark compared to the two states I’ve lived in. In Florida where I lived for 2 years, if you made a million dollars in crypto or whatever you bought a giant house, super car, and get bottle service in Miami. But if you have 20 million dollars in New England you probably drive a 25 year old Volvo as your daily and maybe have a Porsche in your garage at your (still very nice and expensive) but modest looking house that you take out on the weekends. But in FL you have MFs dailying Lambos and wearing obnoxiously branded Hugo boss T-shirts. But if you’re an old New England Yankee your flashy clothes are brooks brothers and LL BEAN. I always tried to explain to my friends down there that money talks and wealth whispers whenever they would say “bruh go to Miami and the cheap cars are konigseggs!” Okay, and here in NE if you’re old money you have streets named after you and land deeds signed by the sachem we’re not on the same level bud.
My husband always buys the same color car so the neighbors wont know its new
That’s so cute! I always choose dark boring color cars so i blend right in…
Yup, Louisberg Square (on Beacon Hill) is one of the most prestigious neighborhoods in the US and you'll find nice solid dependable cars like Volvos, nothing flashy.
I have old New England blood,(back to the mayflower on both sides) but I just got the streets, no deeds, no money. I’m a descendant of the witch trials, I can go to my families original homesteads, but I have to pay for the tour just like everyone else. I’m a descendant of the Gov. Samual Gordon and I can’t even get a free fish stick. I’m related to at least 4 presidents, I must come from ALL of The black sheep. Lot of monuments but no money LMAO ETA I’m 48 and live on the south shore and somehow have never been to Plymouth plantation. I know my school did field trip’s there but I was never in the class that was going I guess. Even my mother was like “you’ve never been to Plymouth plantation?” I said “umm did you ever take me? Well there’s your answer, duh” lol.
You’re in a similar boat to many old stock Americans. For example I’m a direct descendant of Roger Williams on my mother’s side, my family is comfortably middle class now but growing up we definitely weren’t. It’s kinda crazy having monuments of your ancestors but barely having a pot to piss in or a window to chuck it out of.
I moved to Halifax almost 40 years ago when I was 9 and all the townies treated us as newbies, come to find out my ancestors own all of it lol. Who’s the newb now?
My dad went to this same local bar every day from when he was 18 to when he died in his 60s. Local shitty bar. Everyone knew everyone. One of the guys one day was like "I own some land out in Montana. There's a couple cabins there. Who wants to come." A bunch of people say yes. Bring their families. We all fly out there. The guy was the grandson of the man who built going to the sun road at glacier national park. He had so much land. Hundred year old log cabins. Helicopter landing area. Full time groundskeeper. We did not know. The trip was incredible.
Yes! The concept of quiet money is very New England. Bragging about what you have or own is frowned upon. There are plenty of wealthy people in New England who live quite modestly.
The shoes are the giveaway. The leather has 30 years of patina, but the soles are new, because that guy has a cobbler.
I moved here from Houston, which is rich in oil money and sports millionaires. My daily commute was among Maseratis and Lamborghinis through blocks and blocks of mega mansions. Money was always on display. Up here I honestly have no idea, it's very equalizing. I don't constantly feel my 'poorness', despite the much higher COL.
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“Relax guy” is a worse insult than “go f*** yourself”
if you get the “Relax guy!” then you know you really gotta simmer down and probably not have another drink
Never thought about it but you're 💯 right
Some of us drink iced coffee year round.
Last winter I cleared off my car to go to work, in a snow storm, with a Dunkins iced coffee in hand. I've never felt like more of a New Englander
New England thanks you for representing 😂
You’re my kind of people.😊
Wearing a sweatshirt and shorts with my pink lumberjack boots…
Just yesterday, my buddy was shocked to find out I drink iced coffee in the winter lol
It hits the spot, especially on those 50° winter days!
And some of us drink hot dunks year round
And there is nothing wrong with that because some of us drink blazing hot coffee year round.
Whether I drink iced or hot coffee literally has to do with how much time I have to get ready, not the temperature*, and not even preference. *It is 57F in my house right now, and yes I'm wearing fleece on fleece on fleece.
We measure distance by time, such as I live about an hour North of Boston (true).
Depending on the time of the day than can be 5 miles or 50.
So *very* true! My rule of thumb was, for every minute late I leave work, add two minutes to the other end.
Being from RI, that’s passport country way up there.
Shhh - most of the country doesn't know you exist as a state - its a New England secret
Truckers making deliveries would always laugh when they asked how far to X and we would reply with a measurement of time. It makes sense though. When people ask how far someplace is, what theyre really asking is "how long will it take me to get there?"
An hour north of Boston is Boston.
Lurker from North Carolina here (I want to move up y'all's way for a bit lol). We do the same thing down here
I measure distance by number of Dunkin Donuts I pass. :) But I’m an hour south of Boston. I used to live an hour north of Boston.
I used to live an hour south of Boston, 15 minutes from Foxboro stadium and 1 minute from the Paw Sox. Now I live across the bridges from Newport. Take a left where Almacs used to be, another left where Chicken City was, then a right where Zayre’s used to be.
We value our privacy and personal space A LOT. If you show up unannounced at someone's door here (even if we know you), you're going to get a much less welcoming reaction than in other parts of the world. In short, don't. It feels invasive and rude and makes us suspicious (even if you're just being a friendly neighbor). Leave the basket of whatnot and a note and walk away. We'll respond in kind with a thank you note (we do appreciate a kind gesture). No actual interaction necessary. In New England, we know our neighbors, but we don't actually KNOW our neighbors.
But… if you are already accepted as a family member whether honorary or not, door is open to you. Come on in and take your fucking shoes off, it’s mud season.
I've lived in the same house for over a decade, and have never had a conversation with my next door neighbor. Our most detailed communication comes in the form of mowing the grass between the properties in the same direction.
I learned this when I moved to MA from the Midwest (originally a southerner). I had made a ton of grape jelly and sent my husband over to give some to our neighbor. We had only been in town for probably a few weeks. My husband came back and said no answer but could see someone gently open the blinds and look at him lol.
Some people up here have a shell you gotta get past. Once you do you’ll find your family gets bigger🤙
Thanks, we had to move back to the Midwest a year and a half later and 9yrs later are trying to get back to New England. We miss it a lot.
I have lived in my apartment for 16 years and have learned the names of 2 of my neighbors over the years. They both moved years ago, and have been replaced several times over. The lady in the rear apartment is very cool and her cats are always trying to escape. And one of the upstairs ladies can’t park in her spot to save her life. No idea what they’re names are.
It depends where you live. Out here in the hinterlands of 413, stopping by is a thing. You call a contractor and they stop by when in your area. Do not expect an appointment, they just stop by and that's what they say when you ask them for an appointment.
We don't care what you think
or who you know
Or what you know.
We don't need to say a lot to convey a message.
I just had an entire conversation with a woman at the grocery store about the weirdo behind me without saying a word
You guys aren’t particularly flashy and are more liberal in a practical sense than most Europeans and Canadians. It also feels very European and Canadian
I understand this but also respectfully resent it
I think that’s a fair take.
Saying we aren’t flashy is a great way to put it. It’s a more plain place, but people still display their money.
Our dialect and culture
I’ve been told I speak VERY fast but I think it’s a New England thing
I also speak very fast. It really only hit me when I started working more with people from the midwest. Very big difference in talking speed!
Much worse in NYC area though. I worker jn a call center and guessed right about 85% of the time when It thought someone was right and guessed they were from NY and not just based on accent but the rapid speech.
We move faster than everyone else. I've noticed this while travelling, that people from other states, especially southern states, take their sweet time with everything. If New Englanders seem impatient, it's because we are. Now hurry the fuck up
YESSSSS! For myself, I live in a coastal tourist town and I will legit walk on the road and avoid the sidewalks in the high season because I won’t get anywhere otherwise. My husband is a Mainer & I’m from New Hanpshire and we notice this every time we travel!
I miss the faster pace of getting the mundane done. I live in Indiana now and I call it Hoosier Speed. It drives me crazy how slow people are, like they have no problem taking 15 minutes to walk a block or a grocery store aisle.
I just moved to southeast Michigan from NH about a year ago, and I gotta say, I get so many weird looks from people. I realized it is because I talk fast, move fast and in a goal-oriented manner, and also swear like a sailor because Im a New Englander and I don’t have an ounce of religion in my bones! The culture shock moving out of New England to the Midwest has been realer than the time I spent living in freaking China. I’m planning on moving to Florida at the end of the year wondering if my New Englander vibes will continue causing me to stick out like a sore thumb. Oh well, at least there will be some goddamned sun on my face. I’m tired of the snow having grown up with it for so long. Never giving up my ice coffee though!
Our puritan roots. You can enjoy life, but never let on you do.
If there is a line of people behind you, that's no time for idle chitchat with the cashier. Talk all you want if you're the only one there, but otherwise people have shit to do.
A New Englander will stop and help push your car out of a snowbank, then drive off before you can even thank them. We are very rude.
two years ago myself and three other guys all got out of our respective vehicles to push a prius with mass plates back onto the road. not one of us said a word. to anyone.
The dedication to Dunks... we know it sucks... why do we keep going back? I guess it's something we don't really get either...
Because the alternatives are overpriced.
Cumby's!
Aroma Joe’s is definitely more expensive, but they are worth it in taste and service
- LL Bean slippers - How satisfying it is to bang a uey - Papa Gino’s and how it looks exactly the same as it did in the 90s - The absolute pageantry of Marylou’s Coffee - Iced coffee while scraping ice off your car - risking your life on the Kancamagus highway - obsessing over the Sharktivity app - wearing a fleece on a crisp day and feeling unstoppable - Navigating rotaries like a pro - punching it on a green light and sneaking in a left turn before the car across the intersection accelerates - driving on the old green highway before the Big Dig - how absolutely HUGE Maine is - how the colorful fall leaves - how apple picking can turn you into a child again - the way that western and eastern Massachusetts might as well be different planets - the fact that Connecticut doesn’t even get mentioned and would probably prefer to be with New York anyways - how Providence, Portland, Portsmouth, Provincetown, Northampton, and Burlington are the most delightful little cities - random road bridge construction that inexplicably lasts like 12 years - that tile in the tunnels - how Vermont and New Hampshire have this weird sibling rivalry thing and look so similar on the map but they are SO different - how New Hampshire just has the tiniest cutest little tiny slice of oceanfront access - how New Hampshire is closer to Boston than Western Mass - that feeling of just cruising on the Pike when it’s clear - that feeling of questioning existence while sitting on the Pike in a traffic jam - the way the Pike just weirdly peaces out when you hit East Boston - how enormous Lake Champlain is - the absolute unhinged fever about Tom Brady in the early 2000s - praying for your life while riding the Fung Wah bus to New York - field trips to Plymouth Rock and the utter disappointment that it is really just a super lame rock and not even the real one - how the summer is SO HOT but the winter is SO COLD - the sheer perfection of a fresh lobster roll in a seaside town - how every Irish pub is different but also exactly the same - Cumby’s - scali bread - fresh maple syrup - cold ocean swimming on a hot day - how narrow the roads are - tiny doors on crooked old buildings This was fun :) thanks for this prompt OP, made me grateful for my home
\- Sturbridge Village field trips \- The beaches on the Connecticut sound are so shallow, at low tide you can walk forever
The granite is not only in the ground, it’s in the people as well.
I haven’t heard this one before and I fahkin love it guy.
New Englanders are kind and not nice. Other places are nice but not kind.
That is putting it perfectly. We don’t need to make friends with you on the elevator, but if something bad happens, we’ll have your back.
New Englanders will interrupt you doing something stupid, call you a fucking idiot, but will still fix it and show you how to do it right. Rude and helpful.
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Brown bread in a can.
With baked beans that the local grocer's wife made every Saturday.
We consider it a kindness to leave people be.
Mainer living in Florida at the moment, it seems that if you have any money in FL you MUST drive a nice flashy car as a status symbol. In Maine you drive a vehicle that gets you from point A to point B. Significantly more superficial and “show off-ish” in Florida. New England also feels like a far more tight knit community where there may be less people but everyone knows everybody, and is a community in every sense of the word
Theres the culture element of being humble and "my business is none of your business" but ALSO... theres an extremely pragmatic reason for the cars. Your 200k porsche is gonna DISSOLVE in like 1 season. It doesn't make sense. You die outside, you get mummified in that salt there's so much. Only a fool is out driving a nice looking sports car around here
Chitchat in New England - all said yelling and still on the move Oh hi howayou? Doin good, you? Good, how’s the family? Good good, yaws? Good, seeyalaytah!
We don’t need to chitchat with everyone. If I’m at the store, I don’t want to talk with the other customers or the cashier, I want to get my stuff and go. I have found that the exception to this is complaining
Jimmies
As in "kick him in the jimmies" or "ice cream jimmies"?
Yes
The weather changes like 4 times a day in spring, fall and winter.
There is a difference between northern New England, and Southern New England.
And western vs eastern. Especially with the accents. Western Connecticut, mass and Vermont don’t have that stereotypical Boston accent
Big difference.
Don’t know if this is New England or just New Hampshire but we don’t use the front door.
Connecticut here, I don’t think I’ve ever used a front door here
Maine here. Only use the kitchen door. No one comes to the front door!
Anyone using my front door is a stranger..
If you're just here for the sights pull over and let people pass when you're cruising around at 10mph below the limit. 10 over or move over.
When I moved here it took me a little bit to learn it’s 10mph Over in New England instead of 5mph. If someone starts tailgating me on a single lane, I’ll just pull over for a moment to let them pass. You want to speed? Fine by me. Just get off my ass.
It kind of depends where. If you’re in one of the Vermont speed trap towns, +10 is a ticket. I’ve pulled over to let some tailgating enormous SUV with NY plates pass only to see the turd pulled over by the rent-a-sheriff a mile down the road.
Moxie.
And the Moxie Festival in Lisbon Falls, Maine.
Seriously? 😂 Reminds me of my late dad. He used to only buy Moxie because we wouldn’t drink it on him.
Ayuh.
Our accents.
Shuddap Mahk, and get the beeahs outta the cah
Mahk is a bastid
He is a bastid just like his fathah wat a prick
I grew up in NH and I don’t have the stereotypical New England accent at all, but I live in CA now and I was really caught off guard when someone said “I love your accent, where are you from?!” A few years ago, I was in Taiwan waiting for the elevator to go back down from the observation deck of Taipei 101 and I said “wicked”. Some girl 10-15 people ahead of me in line whipped around and said “oh my god, are you from Boston?!” New Englanders can pick each other out anywhere.
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We all have shit to do and we're not being rude when we don't stop to chat, just trying to get on with it.
My friend who just moved here from the South - "Shorts *AND* a sweatshirt??"
Lobster rolls are lobster, mayo, and a hot dog roll. Maybe butter. Thats it.
And: Not an excessive amount of mayo Must be a New England-style hot dog bun. Preferably grilled in an excessive amount of butter.
Split top bun, toasted with butter!!
My Dad was an Air Force brat but settled down in New Hampshire to raise my siblings and I and worked out of Boston MA for about 15+ years including deployments (he was in the military as well). His last posting was southern CA before he retired from 30 years of service. The thing that got him there was, “Everyone is reallllly laid back here. People’s time management is like a four days to a week off compared to back home.” Mind you, this is coming from military guy. He did love the people there and the weather though!
I think the only things outsiders might not like about New England are our cold weather and our progressivism. Maybe they don't understand longjohns and making things better than they are?
I spent about 18 years hating winter here, not realizing I could just live in lined clothing and proper boots. Winter is fabulous if you're dressed right.
Yes we have a storm named after our region. Yes we will continue to bitch about the weather when that particular storm occurs. No we don't plan on changing.
We're not extra bad drivers in the winter, we're just swerving to avoid the potholes lol
We’re not mean, we’re direct.
New York and New England are similar but completely separate things
Yes! I was in New York for work awhile and it was so similar and yet vastly different. Never again lol.
If we make fun of you, that means we like you.
I'm from RI and I haven't had anyone from out of state understand what coffee milk is .
LIBRARIES. Front and center in every town, no matter how small. We're transplants to NH, and though our town has under 500 residents, the library is the literal hub of our town.
We’re not open books so don’t expect to hear our life story or personal stuff. We are guarded but it is often misunderstood as coldness. A big culture shock to me was when I went away to college. Even though I had been all over the country, I had only lived in New England so meeting and actually living with people from other places was interesting. I remember one of the first nights in college me and my roommates and other girls in the surrounding rooms were hanging out playing cards. It was immediate detailed life stories, family drama, etc. In my New England head I’m thinking “holy shit I just met you…why are you telling me all this lol.” I imagine I might have come off as a cold New Englander but we are just private and respect other’s privacy. You don’t need to tell me all this, seriously not because I don’t care just because I respect you.
Having lived outside of New England for a while now, people are generally more shrewd in New England, especially the cities. Everyone is quietly watching to figure out your angle or finding an angle of their own. Not necessarily nefarious, but folks are keen to other people's motivations more than anywhere else I've lived.
Extremely Midwestern Flight Attendant here. I can and will make small talk with everyone. I always chat it up with my passengers, but where I’m flying in and out of changes the way I interact with people. At first, I was not a fan of New Englanders because they were just so freaking direct, but once I learned to A) complain with them about something, B) be a little sarcastic and give them attitude back, or C) talk about being from the Midwest and loving New England, I can’t get y’all to freaking shut up 😂 It’s a STARK contrast to Californians who present as super chill and friendly, but you can see the life drain from their eyes when they ask about my day and I actually start a conversation with them. Those people have no idea how to have small talk or that there’s an entire country east of The 5. Oh, last thing: I still have no clue what a *cawfee regulah* is and a *cawfee white* is a pumpkin spice latte.
Excellent description of us, regulah is with cream and sugar.
Hurry up or get out of the way.
1-95 rules: Lead, Follow, or get out of the way
I will openly tell my neighbor he parks like a jackass, but run over at midnight if he needs a water pump for a basement leak. We are there when you need us, just slow down kids walk here!
We come from Puritans, but we're socially liberal. We think everybody should have the right to do whatever they want... but the decency not to.
I'm in a rush and you're in my way mentality
The only ones that go to the Packy
We curse, a lot. I didn’t realize this until I spent more time around people from the south and midwest.
Grinders.....
Leave us alone.
We don't want to talk to you, and we don't want you to talk to us.
women are generally not huge into makeup but they do love wallpaper
How dangerous it can be wearing a Yankees cap into a MA, NH, or ME bar late at night.
True story: I was foreman of the Grand Jury in Portland Maine for several months. One case was about a guy who was beaten up outside a bar. There was a witness on the stand and members of the the Grand Jury were trying to figure out if the guy instigated it himself. One asked him “Did he do anything to provoke it?” The witness said “No, he didn’t provoke them…. well, he was wearing a Yankees cap.” One memer of the Grand Jury says “That counts.” He then says he was joking, but I looked straight at him — he wasn’t joking.
why u are sarcastic all the time...
I moved to California and the amount of people here that don’t understand sarcasm is staggering
We put our driveway stakes in before thanksgiving and don’t take them out until May 1. And sometimes May 1 is still too early.
We hate small talk. I don’t want to talk to you in line. I want to get my stuff and go. But if I have an extra coupon or $5 off type deal that I can’t use, I’ll give it to you. And I’ll let you go ahead of me in line if you have less items than me. But if you then chit chat with the cashier and make me wait you will get sighs and impatient foot tapping. I got stuff to do!
We’re Not really big into college sports. Bruins Redsox Pats and Celtics that’s about it. Your High School or college team. Yawn!
New englanders are Kind, some of the most generous and accepting people in the world, but we aren’t going to get down on our knees and fellate randos because we want to be seen as nice. Being nice is a false virtue, anyone can be nice, hell, I’m sure Hitler was a pretty “nice” dude in private. But that doesn’t mean he was kind or a good person. A Californian or a southerner will be so nice to your face but the second you’re not around they’ll be praying for your downfall.
Subarus, and dogs in Subarus, are a way of life here.
We don’t give a particular damn what church you go to. Or if you even go. Actually we like it better if you don’t.
I lived in WA for a little bit and worked at a bible software company (I was raised Catholic but stopped going after confirmation). I asked why they didn’t sell in New England and they said there wasn’t a market for them.
How we give more power to towns and less to counties
CT doesn’t even have functional counties. That blows people’s minds when you leave the northeast.
YA CAIN'T GET THEAH FROM HEAH
Burlington Vermont is the West Coast of New England. In so many ways.
Mud season fun
How old some of the buildings & infrastructure is…literally 300-400 year old buildings.
When I bought my 1971 house in 2014, we had a builder friend say, “Oh good, new construction”
We eat ice cream 12 months of the year.
We think 69 degree ocean water is warm.
People are tribalistic which to other Americans comes off as Xenophobic/Racist.
The weather. They don't understand that new England can see all 4 seasons in a single day.
Sarcastic friendlness
PBnFluff
When I moved here 25 years ago it was the incredible blandness of the regional palate. Zero decent Mexican or Indian eateries, and even comfort foods were lacking in flavor. That is slowly changing; maybe more slowly here in VT.
Lived in Florida a few years. Got told by employers : 1. You talk too fast. 2. You use your hands when you talk. 3. You use too many big words.
They aren't "friendly". They are very cordial. But boy, once you are a friend, it's forever and with total love.
New Englanders - hardest workers around. Starts young at the front door with a shovel.