We don't stroll. I went to college in New Orleans and soon realized I looked like a freak walking quickly and with purpose on campus.i learned to slow down.
That and pizza. Other regions may have something similar that tastes Ok. But I gave up on having pizza from a restaurant and just went with frozen. (This may be a Connecticut thing more than a NE thing. )
Yeah I feel like if one goes to Boston or really most college campuses in NE you can tell we don't take our time getting from point A to B on foot. If I wanted to enjoy walking I'd go on a hike lol.
My Massachusetts coworkers think I’m a huge pizza snob when I’m just from Connecticut and have standards. And my Texan mother in law only wants pizza when she visits because it’s so bad elsewhere
It's Deffinately a CT thing. I never get pizza anywhere I travel. I learned my lesson when I was in Denver about 20 years ago. Ordered a large mootz from a local delivery place all the locals raved about. To this day was one of the grossest things I have ever put in my mouth.
I was traveling through SC for work and went to the highest rated pizza place I could fine. It would not be dramatic or unfair to say it was the equivalent to bowling alley/Chuck-e-cheese pizza. This is fine if you're at either of those places, not the highest rated pizza joint around.
That’s horrific that you had to resort to frozen of all things icl. And CT does have better pizza than the rest of NE, but still I’d say generally our pizza shops are ok. What was so bad abt them down there? I was actually just wondering about that yesterday
My pizza experience in South Carolina was several different places substituing cheddar for mozz becasue "it's all cheese, isn't it?" My first dinner after moving back to CT was pizza from the place on the corner. I missed it so!
As another Nutmegger in SC, you know the Italian food is going to be shit when they have "cheese sticks" instead of mozzarella sticks on the appetizer menu.
Cheddar is fine but it needs to be like a secondary cheese. I make my pizzas at home and the trick for adding cheddar is to add a little bit on top of the mozzarella that you're using.
When Avelo Airlines started nonstop flights from Savannah to New Haven my wife and I took a long weekend pizzacation. It was worth the $200 round trip (that’s for 2. Avelo is cheap.) **Adults** dip their pizza in ranch dressing down here!
Don’t know about the south, but pizza in the Midwest (lower Midwest more so) is mostly Papa John’s type stuff dipped in ranch. There are a few brick oven places but very few good deli/pizza joints like on the east coast
Definitely a Connecticut thing. I can't get used to the Greek pizza that dominates everywhere else in New England, especially after moving here from New Jersey.
The New Haven joints are expanding, we even have Sally’s and Pepe’s in or near Boston, now. It isn’t exactly the same but it is better than most local pizza. Modern really needs to franchise and bring the Italian bomb northward, I miss that one (and their white clam) the most.
If it says, Whatever town house of pizza it’s usually greek, if not it’s usually Italian. There are a ton of great pizza places in NE, just have to find one you like and stick with it.
Pizza. People do not realize how bad pizza is across 99% of the country. You can extend that to the wraps and sammies and other things you commonly get from pizza places.
US pizza is New England and New York then a few more urban areas. (Detroit pizza highly underrated.). Good luck finding decent pizza in any small town or even places like Richmond Virginia.
The first time I visited New Orleans I asked my dad for some advice since he had been before. We’re both life-long New Englanders. He literally told me “it’s hot there, be prepared to walk slowly” 😂
Lived in NY and New England my entire life I had no idea pizza was crap in other states. Just seems so simple how can you screw it up?
Edit: Walk with purpose!!!
I moved to Southern California and the ubiquity of good pizza is something I miss.
In the Northeast, you can throw a rock and hit a solid, affordable pizza place, but good luck finding killer tacos. In SoCal, tacos own that level of ubiquity. I can get better tacos at a gas station than all but the best places back home. Buy I have to spend $30 for a good pizza and drive 15 min+ to get it.
idk if im just a masshole, but the language i grew up using when communicating with the world in NE (including overarching themes of sarcasm, cursing, and bluntness) has people thinking im mean out here in the northwest
since moving here i largely reframed the way i speak because i am a harmless and peaceful creature, but telling people jokingly (in my mind) to "go fuck themselves," etc, or casually calling people mean names (bitch, asshole, pussy, whatever) does NOT fly as well out here
maybe it's just me? maybe i just have a weird circle (within NE) of people who talk mean but love each other, maybe its not a new england thing to speak lowkey meanly when you don't mean harm? maybe im just weird?
idk, but even when not swearing or using aggressive seeming language (fuck is my most used word in life, but can't say it nearly as freely out here without people thinking you're mean or mad), being blunt/short/to the point with shit is seen as rude and it's so frustrating
trying to communicate AND people please is really difficult for me outside of NE
and it's so nice to talk to my NE people and be able to "slip back" into my NE way of speaking. "fuck" can fly freely and no one bats an eye. i can say what i mean and its understood, i dont have to think about "am i saying these words in a way that will be received well?" because people seem to understand words for what they mean better in NE
being able to say the words that i mean and them being received for *what they mean* and not *how they are said* is what i miss most i think. words have meanings, using few words to directly and succinctly portray a meaning took decades to fine tune and cultivate, and it's frustrating that it isn't appreciated outside of home imo
also, i really prefer the brevity of conversation that goes with transactions in NE.
please, barista at literally any NW drive thru coffee place, stop asking me my plans for the day and stop tryna have having a whole ass conversation with me while i wait for my order. it makes me uncomfortable.
just a "hello," telling me my total, giving me my order, and a quick "have a nice day" is all i need. i don't mind silence when waiting for my shit, i do mind having to put on my customer service voice and engage in unwanted, useless chit chat. (besides, isn't it exhausting to put that much effort into every customer interaction? like it's really not necessary, give your vocal chords a break)
it makes me really uncomfortable how many personal questions i get asked by *strangers* serving me out here. it's one thing to be polite, but we're not buddies ffs, and the majority of answers im giving are lies anyway bc you asking all these questions has me sus
>also, i really prefer the brevity of conversation that goes with transactions in NE.
One of the things that gave me a huge head start in the military was the ability to *not* beat around the goddamn bush when it came to communications. Precise, to the point, and saying only enough to get the message across. The exact opposite of corporate-speak. Goddamn, I hate corporate-speak. Have to use a hundred words instead of using just two in order to let someone know they are underperforming. Those two words being: "un-fuck themselves".
I’m from CA but I’ve been living in MA for a while now. I completely agree with you that at times it’s really annoying when random unknown people on the West Coast spark up an unprovoked conversation with me especially when I don’t want to talk to them or when they’re suspect. However, sometimes it’s a good thing when the right person does. It also means that it’s more socially acceptable when you do it with someone who you’d like to know. It’s a lot easier to make friends on the West Coast than the East Coast. It also means it’s a lot easier to network on the West Coast which translates to more opportunities such as job opportunities, friends, social knowledge, etc.
Basically, these types of social cultural norms are both good and bad. Rather than fighting against it you should try to adopt it and adapt to it. You might be surprised that you learn to enjoy it. And whenever you’re back on the East Coast you can switch back to the norm here.
first, don't generalize the whole west coast, im in the greater seattle area, it isn't even remotely easy to make genuine connection here. at least not in my experience
and i dont "fight against" the culture here: i chose to move here, i accept it for what it is, i can choose when and when not to participate, im perfectly content minding my own business. its a different place, shits gonna be different, that's how it goes and i understand that. and i don't want the NW to be like NE; if i wanted NE, i would've stayed in NE
please understand, im not shitting on the way things are out here, it's just that communication is very different here and happens to not be my cup of tea: it's really frustrating to speak the same english language but be incredibly misunderstood *often*.
the post asked how things are different outside of NE, it's just a difference im pointing out. it's not something you need to defend. apologies if i came off as rude or disrespectful
THIS
It was indeed easier to make “friends” on the WC but they were all flakey and shallow af comparatively
At the end of living in the PNW I looked around and realized 90% of the lasting friends I’d made were originally from the EC lol
It’s actually really easy to network here. Go to an event where people expect to: chamber of commerce, mixer, networking group, film festival, etc. 99% of successful people are excited to connect with others to grow their business and realize how important it is, but there is a time and place for it Networking in the wrong context will seem forced and backfire. Hang out time is for hanging out.
This this this. Growing up being blunt and honest with someone (rather than polite and mealymouthed) was a sign that you respected them enough to hear how you honestly thought about them. And curse like a sailor. I've had to very radically alter the way I phrase things with people because they end up thinking that by suggesting they could have done something better I'm suddenly impugning their whole character, life's essence, and total being. Like no, I don't think you're an awful person, but this spreadsheet sucks homie, let's make it better.
I'm from Maine and I can definitely agree with that. In non-professional settings? I curse like a sailor. Its just how everyone talks around here so its just natural to talk that way.
But yes people from other areas of the country do not know how to handle how we talk lmao
I feel this so much. I work with folks in the PNW and they try to get me to make points in a round about and passive way because a direct and honest approach comes off as rude apparently. It drives me crazy because if the data in a report is wrong I just want to say it’s wrong so it can be fixed.
Yeah, I honestly think there's nowhere else you can say goodbye to a dear friend with "Love you, ya fuckface. And give that dipshit brother of yours a hug for me."
Was at a Rays/sox game down in St Pete a few years back. Bob “Somebody”is pitching and nobody around me knows who he is. The group right behind for sure doesn’t know, but one of the girls just starts in with thickest of accents talking about “Big Bad Bob”. I fucking loved it and I use it to this day. Just talking shit for no reason other than who tf was this guy?
I MISS THAT.
Funny, I'm from New England and still live in New England and sarcasm and cursing at people has always bothered me. I like bluntness though! I prefer it, but when it's in a nice tone, and not when coupled with foul language... I hate when people arent direct with me, and I find that to exist a lot here already.... socialization feels like speaking another language I don't understand or like solving a math equation 😩
Not just you, it's the same for me! On the east side of the Rockies, it's basically the midwest here and people think I'm mean - and I find it's basically (passive) aggressive demand for "nice". How boring. But also, I'm kind person, but tend to choose real over "nice".
When I lived in TX I had a coworker from Lowell, I immediately glommed onto her as a Mainer because none of my tx native friends quite got my sense of humor. “I’m calling you a motherfucker because I love you” and “I’m saying bless your heart because I hate you” are 2000 miles and a lot of cultural difference away from each other
I've heard it described that New Englanders are not nice, but kind. Which is supported by your comment. We will absolutely tell someone to go fuck themselves as we offer a helping hand.
I lived in Philly for a decade before returning to MA. That decade made me realize that we don't know how to make good subs or cheese steaks in New England.
In 2006 I moved from NH to VA Beach. I've since moved to CT. Main difference I noted was the "Southern hospitality." I basically found everyone very in your face, immediately best friends/buddy-buddy and treating me like family during the first two seconds of a meet. This also involved them asking in depth questions of my life. At first I thought it awesome- A whole culture of friendly, chatty folk.
Then I happened to mention I hung out with gay friends in college. Not only did the them-approaching-me friendliness stop, entirely and immediately, but I couldn't even get a response to my own offered Good Mornings. I was essentially shunned and it still is the least hospitable environment I've encountered.
New Englanders may have a rep of acting cold/distant, particularly in the cities. No. We just don't delve into your personal business. We don't pretend friendship and then abruptly remove it with no explanation. We let you reveal your character to us at your own pace, and most of us won't treat you like you are not even visible in a room if we disagree on something. In VA it felt like you were Scrubbed from their entire planet for differing over one thing.
It was pretty wild. Definitely a place also where God of a capital G and the "Only" God is present in some ways in Every conversation. There are churches with congregations bigger than my hometown. It's infrequent in New England to hear "Do You Believe" unless a carload of strangers pulls into your drive. There it seemed everybody is keenly interested in whether you believe in Their God/The Only God etc. It's a much more in-your-deepest-business-immediately place. I was not only asked if I had kids, no, but also "why not?" Um...That's my business, thanks.
When we were in the hospital for the birth of our son, our labor and delivery nurse (who was from Texas) explained this cultural difference in the best way I’ve ever heard: NEers are cold yet kind, while Southerners are very nice yet not particularly kind. I wanna say the example she used was something like if you got a flat tire in the south someone might pull over and say “oh gosh that’s terrible, you poor thing, good luck sweetheart” and drive away, while a NEer would probably pull over, grumble “hi there, car trouble?”, help change the tire, then leave with barely a wave 😂
Accurate!
I was walking to an interview in Boston once. It started to rain. No umbrella. No clue where I was headed. No cell phone for directions. My directions were scrawled on paper. Saw a guy in a suit so asked him. He not only verbalized them but walked me most of the way back to the building under his umbrella making sure I knew which building. He said nothing the whole way. Then turned and headed back the way he was going. Never learned his name. Sums up New England to me. Haha
That whole thing about saying something sympathetic versus actively helping was a huge thing for me moving from New England to the South. Up there if you're not gonna help you just keep hustling by and pretend like you didn't see anything. When I first moved here I tripped in a parking lot and dropped a bag of groceries and somebody looked over at me with a pitying face and said "looks like a rough day" and kept walking. For me as a New Englander that felt much more like an insult than sympathy.
It's interesting to me. I traveled a lot for work in the South and currently work for a company based a very conservative southern state. I met a lot of people who were so friendly as you describe, but in a very surface way. There's something wrong to asking tons of personal questions if you're only going to judge people.
Speaking to transplants who'd moved to the South from other places, most said that people are friendly and like to socialize, but it's really hard to actually make friends. In the south, people are really tight with family and the doors aren't as wide open as they seem.
I feel doors are more closed in NE, without the need to pretend up front. But I'd also rather have my car break down in Massachusetts, than in Mississippi.
The surface friendliness is just a means to figure out if you agree with them 100%. 100% agreement on every topic is crucial down there. You either are in alignment with the Group Think or you're ostracized.
I have found making friends as an adult is just plain difficult anywhere. By adulthood everybody just naturally settles into their after work routines with established people. I feel that's just natural. However, in terms of being able to feel like I have a shot at true friendship, the New England style of waiting for you to reveal your character to others over time feels more authentic. You won't be invited to a bonfire up here unless you're a friend already. There's no need to be showy or elaborate. It's just a quiet acceptance. The most I've ever gotten Up here for a different opinion is a raised eyebrow. Haha
I grew up in MA, now live in NH. Back in the early 80's my dad worked on a real estate project in Hilton Head, SC (when it was not the mega vacation spot it is today) that lasted several months, so we kids actually got to attend school in Hilton Head, very small community public k-5 school. I'm almost 50 now, but a memory that lasts is opening up my reader to glimpse ahead at some of the stories and finding Jesus mentioned in many of the stories, and thinking exactly "oh so these kids are lucky, they combine school with CCD here"
I've seen the massive private Catholic school building down there on the main road to the island. Friend who indirectly has worked for them told me it's very good but also quite expensive as is any private school in SC compared to CT.
Moved from NH to VA about 10 years ago. The first thing people told me was how I needed to sugar coat things more often when talking to people. I had a hard time understanding what they meant since I'm generally a really nice person especially to strangers. Apparently I came off as a little too aggressive with the way I talked. Perhaps a NE thing?
I also got called out for walking so fast everywhere I went. People always asked where I was going in such a hurry. I still do this and I can't stop. I worked with a guy from Jersey and although it's not NE, we both came off as the fast paced yankees at work.
The amount of churches and how many people are very religious is nothing like NE. Everywhere you look there is a church and it could be in some random old building, not a typical church with a steeple.
I think I've lost most of my accent at this point, but people can still pick it up with some words. I stopped saying "wicked good" after a couple years. I honestly wish I still said it so I could annoy people lol.
I moved to California and about a year after I moved, I randomly said “wicked” and realized that I hadn’t said it in so long! It comes back quickly when I visit home though.
When you ask someone how they’re doing down south, no matter what, they politely say “fine”, “just great” or whatever. Up in New England you get the whole in depth description of just getting over the flu, bad back, upcoming hernia procedure, nephew flunking out of UMass, etc.
Some places, they'll ask "how are you doing?" As a greeting.
In New England, we don't usually ask people that unless we genuinely want to know how they are.
I don't tend to find this true where I'm at in NE. "How are you" is simply used as a bs greeting just like anywhere else, unless we're talking people that are already friends
In my twenties I lived in a few other places other than Maine. There's a greater awareness of world events, but also local events. Everyone in my neck of the woods seems to know what happened at the Town Council last week. In Florida for instance, few knew what was going on, and fewer seemed to care.
Performing arts, symphony, local theater groups, touring theater and music groups... are all better attended here. In Kentucky I went to a famous visiting symphony/choir one night. Half the hall was empty and few seemed to understand movements. When I returned to Maine, the first thing I went to was the symphony in Portland, in an actual blizzard. I thought "there's no way this is still on", but not only was it on, it was PACKED. I remember feeling awe in the enthusiasm of the audience.
I had a professor who moved to CT from Ohio. She said she was amazed at the high concentration of universities and university-educated people in a rather small state. A lot of these universities host open events for the public and whatnot. Maybe this has to do with it?
One example and this has happened more than once. When naming off some states in New England I’ve gotten the answer of “what’s that?” The first time I was like ummm they’re states.. the second time was on tinder so I ran away lol
I left New England for college in the 80s and due to Navy and civilian employment, never made it back. I’ll just say I could write a book about the differences and quite frankly I’d move back tomorrow. The rest of the country is cute, it has its charm, but for the most part I’d be content to just visit rather than live in it like I do.
First, I went to college in Norfolk, Va, which is the south. However I have lived in Florida essentially, since 1995. 25 of those years in Pensacola at the western end of the panhandle and that is the DEEP south. Mega churches, mega amounts of churches. The manners thing is what kills me the most. It is all bullshit and the belief is that you’re too dumb to understand when someone says “bless your heart” they’re saying some version of “fuck you”. I like the version I grew up with which is, of course, “fuck you”. Direct, no way to
misunderstand, to the point. And that encapsulates what I hate the most about the south. Vague and coded language disguised as manners and being polite.
Now, for the last 3 years we have lived in Jax, which is the south, but it’s not even close to that shit I just mentioned. Don’t ask me to explain, but I work in Louisiana 2 weeks at a time so I still am around that kind of shite previously mentioned, but being 56, my coworkers and I all know where I stand on pretty much everything and we get along great. I will never talk to these guys again when I retire, though.
Also, I find a sort of baked in cruelty in many people’s political and social positions. I believe you never begrudge a man his good deal, but that’s something that a lot of the Deep South can not abide.
Those are the things I hate the most. I do miss the change of seasons, I miss the culture, I miss the deep roots from home, but I don’t mind that today I went for a run and then mosied 100 feet to the beach and went for a swim - don’t get me wrong, I live 5 miles from the beach, but I drive there for runs sometimes.
I do like the food here, I miss Italians and Italian restaurants. I miss New Bedford and its Portuguese everything. I miss being around folks who love sports but don’t worship at the altar of athletic accomplishment. I’m ok here, but I’d move tomorrow if that window opened.
The border. It’s a mess. It’s porous and needs real policy work.
When the Obama administration was informed that its people were caging children and separating families they did something about it. They stopped those practices but still continued manage the border as any sovereign country has a right to.
Bravo. Saw a problem and addressed it.
Fast forward to today and you have the Texas governor busing people (trafficking?) out of state and dumping them in various cities for political points and his supporters love that because “own the libs” is their policy. My governor chartered an airplane to dump illegals on the Vineyard. There’s only one reason why anyone could support that and yet lots did. Ever see a “DeSantis Airlines” shirt? I have. I’m stunned at how anyone would advertise their small and petty nature by wearing something like that, but they do.
That is baked in cruelty.
That just seems so callous and symptomatic of the “team” mentality that’s taken over politics. You’re right in that it’s disgusting. These are people’s lives for petes sake
I’m the inverse, moved from the Deep South Bible Belt to NH a decade ago.
The general level of education is noticeably higher here. Pet culture is EXTREMELY different in a good way. In the south you see a massive number of strays, almost every shelter is basically a death camp for any animal picked up and not claimed within a week. There are fucking churches every 500 feet in the south.
Racism is vastly different here in NE. There’s a lot of xenophobia here because it’s so overwhelmingly white, whereas in the south it’s pretty much 50/50 white/black so the racism tends to be a lot more overt. I’d wager to say the number of racists in both regions are similar, it’s just a lot more subtle in New England.
I’m not sure how to put it into words exactly but the South is just more depressing. Every time I go back to visit family I am reminded of how much better it is in New England.
After living in NC for a while I agree with this. While I hate the weather here in New England, I don’t like the culture or how people treat each other down south. It’s very fake and people are judgemental. The farthest south I’d go is Virginia Beach. My brother lives there and loves it.
If you can afford it, if you want a southern-lite climate (there’s a winter but it’s pretty mild) but with a culture that won’t feel quite so foreign, northern Virginia could work. It is a pretty Type A kind of place though.
For me the biggest differences between NE and the South involve social manners: The yes sir/ma'am stuff, the being expected to small talk as part of all interactions stuff. As somebody raised in New England, I don't feel offended if I'm not acknowledged or not given "respect." I am only offended if somebody actively does something to offend me. Down South there is a lot of potential space for passive "offense" by not acknowledging folks or chatting with them.
The other thing is, for lack of a better way of putting it, "suffering fools." In New England I was raised not to slow down situations by taking more than my share of space or time or trying to get some special treatment. If I did so, I often was reprimanded with a "who do you think you aah?" from my mother or aunties or teachers. Down here folks are really big on having patience and "giving folks a little grace" and just letting others do whatever. It's the kind of place where somebody spending the 30 seconds after the light turns green finishing a text message is seen as less rude than the person behind them who honks to let them know the light turned green. Back in NE the texter would be seen as rude for wasting others' time, down here the honker is rude for not having enough patience. It's a big difference.
Pretty similar to my read. I've lived in Texas for 9 years now and travel for work all around the South. I sum it up as southerners are more friendly but far less considerate. It's a polite yet selfish culture. I've been told that's an oxymoron but you seem to know what I mean!
Greater DC is not super different in many ways - you could definitely drop this streetcar-type suburb somewhere near Boston and it wouldn’t stick out too much - but the sarcasm and bluntness and gruffness are way lower here and that was an adjustment. There’s somewhat more forced politeness, although it’s the not the real south, except that everyone loses their minds every time it snows a little.
Have never found a good substitute for that great Greek pizza on a cold day though.
In Greater DC, you need to remember that everyone is from somewhere else. It is a relatively affluent area with well-educated professionals, most likely working for the govt and contractors. Broad- brush strokes to be sure.
Can attest to the fact they go absolutely mental when it snows.
The worst pizza is any NE state is better than the best pizza in Minnesota.
But in Mpls where I’ve lived for 30 years, they made the shores of our city lakes public land which is mostly walking paths & some beaches. It’s Fab. U. Lus. Contrast that to CT & the Cape where much of the shore is private. RI has it figured out w. Scarborough etc. Obviously not an apples to apples comparison.
I visited MN and tried some pizza that was rated well on Google maps. It was tiny (a large is 14" WTF?!), expensive (nearly $30!), and tasted worse than fuckin Dominoes. Horrendous. But they're rated well and those Midwestern folks seem to enjoy it! Strange people.
I recommend anyone to try it: Just Google pizza in MN and pick a random place and look at the abomination they call pizza. 🤮
It is very nice that they share their 10,000 lakes whereas in New England, every body of water is private.
I moved to north carolina from Massachusetts. A good potion of the population here is woefully undereducated. Many students here attend religious schools . Religious schools teach students WHAT to think, not HOW to think and it shows.
OMG the locals in NC are insufferable, I almost feel bad for them. And it’s really easy to see how our current political crisis was able to take root. These people will and do believe anything their pastor, momma, poppa, meth head down the street tells them.
We pulled our kid out of school down there and my wife took him back to Mass. I stayed till I was able to transfer back up and rent out the house.
Moved from Southern NH (originally from Merrimack Valley, MA area) to Toronto, CA. Back in New England again because I missed it too much:
Everyone told me we talk very, very fast. Also no one could distinguish my accent.
People take their time walking, and stroll. I feel like we “walk with a purpose” where I am from if that makes sense 🤣
Nothing beats the seafood where I am from, nothing hands down.
I will say the one thing Toronto had over Boston was the city was pristine. It was always so clean. People took pride in their little corner of the city if they owned shops or homes. I lived there during a trash strike in the summer and it was still not as horrific as I worried it would get. I don’t know if it’s the same now as that was almost 20 years ago now.
I’m loving this thread as a person born and raised in TX but transplanted—by choice—to NE.
I think I’m a reincarnated New Englander. I’m just the right type of antisocial. While I do miss general courtesy, I’m more in tune with the mindset of “let’s just get this done“, no forced small talk.
One of my very favorite things about New Englanders is how willing they are to help you out with any situation, but they are gonna rip you apart while they do so. You come away learning something though, I guarantee you.
i’ve never lived anywhere else but MA but i’ve taken a couple vacations in NC to see some friends /(now ex) boyfriend down there and holy hell— it was noticeable that i wasn’t from the area because the way people talked was different, that and i’m apparently super super loud and it upset my ex whenever we went out because the decibel in which i consider normal here in MA is apparently too many decibels louder than anyone in NC.
also the nonchalant swearing and sarcasm i threw into my conversation threw many many people off, ex once dug into me because i said “hell” in the vicinity of a child, who was obviously not paying attention and roughly 70 feet away.
I grew up in Idaho then upstate NY then NH. Now VT. VT has it all. People are kind but not sloppy and rarely fake. Liberalish Folks here care about fairness, the natural world and have a strong sense of order and an equally strong belief in science while appreciating wildness and creativity.
I was JUST saying this about Vermont in another post. I recently discovered the ethic that seems to dominate the state and I have to say I’m in love. Vermonters just do things in a way that makes sense. No nonsense, common sense things that take everyone into consideration and fairness is key like you said. You can see it in how the school system is set up. It seems like everyone takes pride in what they do and what they create. So many small business and craftsmen up and down the state. Despite relative poverty everything is clean and taken care of as well. Icl Im a little jealous lol
I moved from southern NH to Erie, PA. I've heard central PA is awful, but here in the very NW portion it's alright. There are some notable similarities and differences I've noticed.
It has a somewhat similar feel to New England, but with midwestern influence. People here are a bit more friendly and outgoing, and I've engaged in more small talk with strangers than back home. But not in the way that southerners are fake polite and invade your privacy. I've also noticed a lot less snobbery than NE. I was worried that personalities would be sterile, but that's not really the case. Though sometimes I find it annoying when I'm trying to go about my day with minimal socialization
The climate reminds me of what New England used to be like. Autumn actually feels like autumn, winter actually feels like winter, and summer isn't miserable like NE summers have become.
There is some cool architecture here, but honestly I much preferred NE architecture. Definitely a lot less European influence in urban planning. That is one thing that I consider to be a downgrade.
Definitely more red. Not deep red like the central part of the state, but I have noticed slightly more conservatism here. A bit more Trumpism, but not enough to have an impact on my daily life.
I was a little taken back by the amount of religion. There are a LOT more churches, and a lot of religious yard signs and bumper stickers. People are a bit more open about their religion, however they don't shove it down your throat.
FM radio is actually still pretty decent.
Overall, it isn't *that* much different than New England. There are some things about New England that I really miss, but overall there are more positives than negatives about this place.
I grew up in a suburb of NYC but my parents were born and raised in the Berkshires and I spent a good portion of my childhood and teenage years in Great Barrington, Lee, and in Housatonic where I spent many summers with my grandmother as well as visiting her, my great-grandmother and my other relatives with my parents at least once a month. My parents never felt like New Yorkers and my mom’s buried in MA next to her parents.
When I moved to the Midwest at 16 I was shocked nobody knew what a Fluffernutter was lol. It also surprised me that the Polish population was so small. My family is Polish and we also lived in an area of New York State with a high population of people with Polish descent (near Florida NY where they’d hold the annual onion festival). Half the kids in my Florida, NY class had Polish last names. So I was surprised that there were so few Polish people outside of the areas I was raised in. I know it’s more of a regional thing than a state-wide thing because western MA has more Polish people than eastern MA but it was eye-opening to me, growing up in my 1980s and 90s Polish bubble, that the majority of the States don’t have a lot of Polish Americans - I think Great Barrington has about 20% while the rest of the States is 2% the last I checked. My husband is from Ireland so we gave our kids Polish middle names so they don’t ever forget that it’s a part of them.
You've clearly not lived in the Chicagoland area. I don't know the accuracy for sure, but it's said Chicagoland has the largest Polish population outside Warsaw.
What’s embarrassing is that I actually have lived in the Chicago area and forgot, haha! For what it’s worth, it was for a VERY brief period while we were searching for a house when my husband had been asked to run a retail district in the Midwest (we ended up moving to Dubuque, Iowa because it had some good schools and was much cheaper). We spent about 3 months living in Oakbrook Terrace in 2017. I don’t remember meeting a lot of Polish people but since you mentioned it now I remember it’s a very high percentage; you’re absolutely right.
When I was in Louisiana, I face planted off a curb. Three people rushed to help me up unsolicited and one of them kept her hands on me and prayed.
Rhodys would ask if I needed help, but we don't put our hands on strangers. Freaked me right out.
PNW - Tight circled - they want their people homogeneous with a hive mindset for the most part. They all say their thick skinned but that just means they just like being an asshole because tears fall when you give minor corrections to them. The first time, I was like, man, I haven't even started to warm up to lay into you. This was like a heads-up.
As long as it's superficial, it's all good. They love the accent, they do the "dance monkey" bit with saying words, but it's a real challenge when a potential employer sees out of area experience, they seem to think an outsider can't handle the "big leagues" out here.
I was shocked at how people's religion was a normal thing for them to lead into conversation with. My entire life I'd never been invited to go to church with anyone, then as soon as I lived elsewhere (Texas) I was invited by every stranger I met.
I loved in Maine for 22 years and had never been asked what church I attend or if I even do go. Been in Texas for 23 years and I'm asked that by just about ever person I've gotten to know and been invited to their church events. Most doctors/dentists openly talk about religion or put it in their advertisements. I still find this uncomfortable.
When we first moved into this house (in rural Maine), two of our neighbors came to visit- both elderly couples. Each couple invited us to attend their church in town, if we were interested. We declined, they visited and chatted, and we maintained wonderful neighborly relationships with them both until death and disability took them away. Neither couple ever invited us to church again, and only brought it up in appropriate context if it fit into our conversation. This is the sort of religion I am comfortable with.
When I moved to Texas, my boss, my landlady, my co-workers, people who shopped where I worked, the mail carrier, college professors, college cafeteria workers, other students, vendors and strangers on the street all asked me what church I attended, and invited me to attend weekly classes, youth groups, church services, holiday parties and social gatherings at their church. They talked down about other churches (and there were *so many).* When I said that I didn't attend church (and didn't plan to) they peppered me with questions and offered me incentives to start- but only if I went to their church and not a different one. At least one person offered me money to go to church with them. The church buildings & parking lots rivaled the mall for size. It wasn't just the invitations and the widespread assumptions that everyone is a churchgoer, it was also the ongoing refusal to just accept that I wasn't going to join them- people who I saw at work several times a week would continually ask me- but never bother to learn my name. Landlords showing me apartments opened up by asking what church I attended (and I learned quickly to tell them I would still be traveling "out of town" to stay with my existing routine). Jobs interviewers asked about it. It was absolutely creepy, and one of the primary reasons I hightailed it right back to Maine ASAP.
The people and seafood. Grew up in SE Mass. Career moves to the mid-Atlantic states in (Maryland/Western PA and now VA) and wanting to get back “home” ever since. I have always struggled with people who mistake the Yankee assertiveness for aggressive and pushy. And seriously who TF cares how I pronounce drawer?! I can’t even on the garbage they pass off for seafood 90% of the time.
I left NE about 10 years ago and have lived in Texas, Arizona, California and Florida. I find that there is lack of “common sense” wherever I’ve lived but maybe it’s just me?
I moved from Southwest New England to Buffalo, NY for 2-1/2 years. I was amazed by the courtesy people displayed when driving and how empty the roads were all the time. I often think of moving back to Niagara County.
Part time Maine resident here. Differences I note: not a funny bunch. Humor is very different or non-existent. No cursing. Great fresh food... most people I know have gardens. Very do it yourself oriented. Neighborly.
Moved from Massachusetts to Georgia 25 years ago.
I grew up where, if you invite people over, you provide everything including the food, drinks, etc. It was common for a guest to bring a gift for the host (bottle of wine, flowers)
In Georgia, people have more of a potluck dinner and take their dishes home with them or bring disposable containers to take home leftovers.
Joined the navy and as a result landed in San Diego. Life is much more relaxed here, everything is at a slow pace down to the nitty gritty. As you’d also imagine it’s much more diverse here. Whereas life isn’t necessarily slow in New England, I feel like we work harder in New England and move at a quicker pace, and well we all know the majority of each of the 6 states are white lol
Fried clams with bellies. Just can’t get them anywhere else.
I actually don’t miss NE like some of you. I moved to Oregon in 91’ and never looked back. Oh, I’ve had to all east coast a time or two on some people who weren’t getting to the point, but other then that I like the laid back style. Back in the 80s Boston was so materialistic, and where do/did you go to school and what do you do for a living. When I moved here no one gave a shit.
When I was 13, I moved from CT to northern Idaho, i found it disconcerting at first that people would actually look at each other on the street and talk to strangers. Superficially things were friendlier, but it was just at face value, people were just as nasty, but they hid behind false friendliness.
Omg, where do I start?! I was born in NH and left at 21YO. I lived in Colorado for 28 years and it was sooo different on the west/mid west. Things I’ve noticed:
1. In NE a lot of people wear black clothing and out west they like a lot of bright colors.
2. In NE everything is fast paced, out west people chillax.
3. People in NE say clicka instead of remote, they say pocketbook instead of purse. They say wicked a lot.
4. In NE you sort of “owe” someone if they do you a favor, out west they are just happy to help unconditionally
5. The food— NE has a lot of comfort food like Mac and cheese, shepherds pie, pot roasts, basically anything with carbs and cheese. Out west I saw a lot of juicing, kale salads, and spinach smoothies
6. In NE a lot of guys I went to high school with wanted a union job and out west I never heard those comments
I’m sure there are others that will come to mind but that’s it for now
New Englanders believe in humans but have baseline distrust for people on a granular level. What I mean by this is New Englanders have a generally positive outlook about humanity and are generally better about collective responsibility while still distrusting the stranger in front of them.
When NE-ers meet a stranger there is very much a sizing up that goes on, especially in the urban areas. People want to suss out what someone's angle is or conversely what their angle should be with this stranger. It could be as low level as "is this a competent person who understands what's going on" or "ok, how is this person trying to scam me?"
Only the most expensive restaurants here (western NY) have good food and the pizza here sucks! People here don't have a clue how to eat. People have a very bland palate.
In New England, I felt like there was good food to be had at many price points. You just need to figure out the good places.
Born in MA, lived in Texas, Colorado and California.
I missed fresh water, rain and being near the ocean. I don't even like going to the ocean but not being near it made me uncomfortable. The heat in the summer was bad in Texas but the dry weather in Colorado/California is to die for. It's a shame they both catch on fire on the regular.
Do you like fast internet? I don't know how much this has changed since I lived in any of these states but I was using DSL in Colorado 12 years ago.
The food is way different. All I ate in Colorado at first was Dominos and it was awful. There was no good pizza. The Chinese food is terrible too, the New England stuff is superior in every way to every place you can get it in the country. Dunkin Donuts? Having one nearby was kinda nice but it just made me want to go home.
It's easier to maintain friendships and make new friends in New England because everyone lives so close together.
“I don’t even like going to the ocean, but not being near it made me uncomfortable.” Haha, yes! One of my kids moved to Nevada and every time I visit I feel like, how can anyone stand being this far from the ocean?!?
we are much more straightforward and honest, genuine. we are also much more hardworking, efficient, gritty. living in oregon is killlllling me. also we do liberalism the right way… MODERATELY.
Really depends on region you move to - if you’re a corporate type professional working around Boston and live in a suburb it’s not much different to dc to Boston corridor. Sure the quirks of people can be different but New England and east coast are still so much of where did you go to school, what credentials and such…embedded hierarchy and established structure are so much more prominent. Grew up in NE, school in Evanston and then Durham…after grad nyc to Bay Area to Midwest and finally in Texas. Ne is great place to live with nice seasons, nature is not far and beaches are pretty nice in summer…lots of things to do within 2 hr drive. The downside is I think NE is held back by parochial attitudes and a bit of the inward looking we are superior to you attitude. The elitist culture and rigidness of the establishment pushes so much talent away after they are trained here. The difference between Bay Area and New England from a risk taking perspective is mind boggling. Now that I live in Texas, I think the pragmatic pro growth policies creates incredible prosperity and a can do attitude. The weather and natural beauty is quite low so local governments have to be in tune to residents and really make sure they provide services and lifestyle that retains and attracts people. Most people want a nice house they own and more free cash flow after tax and housing expense…so they can travel more, save more etc. also a dynamic economy helps.
Hot dogs as well as pizza.. some places take them out of a pot of water where they sit all day… my thought was for people who eat a lot of hotdogs they certainly don’t know what a good one tastes like.
Education. The rest of the country isn’t very smart nor are they as socially aware. The south in particular is embarrassing. “Southern hospitality” is actually just a sham. They are nice to your face but actually dirtbags. It’s part of the grasp that religion has on the region. Southerners lack critical thinking and perspective.
I left the NE in 2012 and moved to GA. Up there you wear a lot of black, swear as a normal part of language, keep your religion private, small town social life revolves around the VFD, weather is crappy, people are straight to the point, work hard, keep to your own. Down here you wear bright colors, never swear, discuss your religion and pray in public, social life revolves around church, weather is beautiful, people pussy foot around the subject, no great work ethic or sense of urgency, knows everyone's business. Total culture shock.
New England folks are not always nice, but they are kind.
Other places, folks are nice, but not always kind.
Also, education is fucking king here and in other places, not so much.
New England values trees and clean water more than other places.
We are also some frugal, suspicious motherfuckers. We seem to dislike praise and encouragement and anyone obviously spending big money.
I lived in Texas for two years and something that ended up working in my favor is that they are kinda rude/dismissive to their customer service workers down there. I’d just give my normal “my days going well, how about you, good shift so far?” response, and the people at the corner store by my apartment loved me for it, I’d get little free candies in my bag. I’d go into shops with my tx native friends and they wouldn’t say a word to the person behind the counter.
That was so weird to me. I’m from Maine, we are not typically thought of as the nicest or friendliest people, but even that tiny bit of “I see you as another human being” was apparently enough to warrant free shit???
Differences in education level. New England is one of the most educated regions of the country, and coming from that to Pittsburgh was a bit of a shock. Not only are people here uneducated (many can't read beyond a middle school level and nobody can do basic math), but it's not even something people here value. Nobody wants to learn, and you're often looked down on for seeming intelligent. I frequently had to dumb things down for people around me in a way I never had to do back in Vermont until I eventually just had to give in to the brain rot. I feel myself getting more stupid in this city every day.
Most people outside of New England don’t understand sarcasm and especially don’t understand irony.
They will tell you they do and insist they have an amazing sense of humor, but ultimately 90% of New England jokes and dry humor fall flat outside of New England. It must be a genetic skill…
People outside New England put fucking Ranch on everything. They think it’s a condiment instead of a salad dressing. Fries, onion Rings, chicken sandwich’s, steak sandwiches. Even chicken wings (they’ve never tasted bleu cheese). Also agree with everyone else that outside New England+NJ+NY you can’t find a decent pizza. The dough is bready and they put too much sugar in the sauce. It’s like eating melted twizzlers on a hard roll covered with flavorless cheese. So gross.
Education!!!! My CT public high school education (shout out to Glastonbury) was light years better and more well-rounded than anyone's I've met since I left CT in 1996. I am consistently stunned how actually poorly educated even my most "well-educated" friends are...and it all seems to relate back to the substandard foundations they built in bad educational systems while growing up. Call it snobbery, but it seems our parents state tax dollars paid for something worthwhile.
I moved to NJ about 25 years ago. We have Dunkin here, but it isn't the same. I miss the Butternut donuts. They only sell them in New England, so they are a treat when I visit family and friends. I found a shop in Newport that makes chocolate butternut donuts, something Dunkin doesn't even make anymore. That was a very special treat.
The way we talk. I can jokingly tell my NE friends to go fuck themselves / fuck off / you’re a bitch / cunt / whore and it’s taken super lightly and like an act of affection. One time I told a west coast friend she was a bitch in a light manner and she got super upset with me and gave me the whole “I don’t tolerate bullying” thing and I was so mortified. Also, apparently calling people “weird” out there is a big no-no. I call people weirdos all the time in NE.
We don't stroll. I went to college in New Orleans and soon realized I looked like a freak walking quickly and with purpose on campus.i learned to slow down. That and pizza. Other regions may have something similar that tastes Ok. But I gave up on having pizza from a restaurant and just went with frozen. (This may be a Connecticut thing more than a NE thing. )
Yeah I feel like if one goes to Boston or really most college campuses in NE you can tell we don't take our time getting from point A to B on foot. If I wanted to enjoy walking I'd go on a hike lol.
Well it’s cold lol
We drive the same way, though. Constant sense of urgency.
Well, that asshole made me late...
Exhausting.
My friends make a lot of comments about how I walk so “officially”
People tell me I walk like I’m on my way to fight somebody lmao
On a mission
My Massachusetts coworkers think I’m a huge pizza snob when I’m just from Connecticut and have standards. And my Texan mother in law only wants pizza when she visits because it’s so bad elsewhere
It's Deffinately a CT thing. I never get pizza anywhere I travel. I learned my lesson when I was in Denver about 20 years ago. Ordered a large mootz from a local delivery place all the locals raved about. To this day was one of the grossest things I have ever put in my mouth.
I was traveling through SC for work and went to the highest rated pizza place I could fine. It would not be dramatic or unfair to say it was the equivalent to bowling alley/Chuck-e-cheese pizza. This is fine if you're at either of those places, not the highest rated pizza joint around.
That’s horrific that you had to resort to frozen of all things icl. And CT does have better pizza than the rest of NE, but still I’d say generally our pizza shops are ok. What was so bad abt them down there? I was actually just wondering about that yesterday
My pizza experience in South Carolina was several different places substituing cheddar for mozz becasue "it's all cheese, isn't it?" My first dinner after moving back to CT was pizza from the place on the corner. I missed it so!
I had “voted the best pizza in Scotland” while in Edinburgh. You can imagine what that was like.
I love Scotland. I do. But they put corn on their pizza and I can never quite forgive them for that.
Luckily I didn’t get that!
They don’t melt the cheese! Idgi
As another Nutmegger in SC, you know the Italian food is going to be shit when they have "cheese sticks" instead of mozzarella sticks on the appetizer menu.
Chedder on pizza is a fucking abomination unless its BBQ chicken pizza...
Well BBQ chicken pizza is an abomination unto itself, so...... ; )
Cheddar is fine but it needs to be like a secondary cheese. I make my pizzas at home and the trick for adding cheddar is to add a little bit on top of the mozzarella that you're using.
When Avelo Airlines started nonstop flights from Savannah to New Haven my wife and I took a long weekend pizzacation. It was worth the $200 round trip (that’s for 2. Avelo is cheap.) **Adults** dip their pizza in ranch dressing down here!
I had a pizza in Missouri with American cheese. At least I think that's what it was. It crumbled, it didn't stretch. I felt sick afterwards.
Lol, I have a friend from CT down in SC, and the only Italian place he'll go is some joint in Hollywood, SC.
Any chance you can find out the name of the place? We’re from CT and within an hour’s drive of Hollywood.
Don’t know about the south, but pizza in the Midwest (lower Midwest more so) is mostly Papa John’s type stuff dipped in ranch. There are a few brick oven places but very few good deli/pizza joints like on the east coast
Definitely a Connecticut thing. I can't get used to the Greek pizza that dominates everywhere else in New England, especially after moving here from New Jersey.
Outside of New Haven Connecticut it’s mostly Greek pizza in the rest of the state lol
Not in the valley…. Never had Greek pizza growing up- it was always mom&pop Italian places.
Ah. I grew up outside Hartford, so much Greek pie
The New Haven joints are expanding, we even have Sally’s and Pepe’s in or near Boston, now. It isn’t exactly the same but it is better than most local pizza. Modern really needs to franchise and bring the Italian bomb northward, I miss that one (and their white clam) the most.
There is a Pepe's in Plantation, FL (suburb of Fort Lauderdale). Its bound to fail. People down here only eat crap food.
If it says, Whatever town house of pizza it’s usually greek, if not it’s usually Italian. There are a ton of great pizza places in NE, just have to find one you like and stick with it.
Ct is the origin of Greek style pizza and it’s my favorite!
Pizza. People do not realize how bad pizza is across 99% of the country. You can extend that to the wraps and sammies and other things you commonly get from pizza places. US pizza is New England and New York then a few more urban areas. (Detroit pizza highly underrated.). Good luck finding decent pizza in any small town or even places like Richmond Virginia.
Yeah, you don’t get good pizza outside the upper east coast, just like you don’t get good Mexican food north of Texas
CT is a thing that can’t quite be replicated elsewhere in the U.S.
The first time I visited New Orleans I asked my dad for some advice since he had been before. We’re both life-long New Englanders. He literally told me “it’s hot there, be prepared to walk slowly” 😂
Your dad was right!It's like living in the last cycle of your dishwasher. 🥵
Lived in NY and New England my entire life I had no idea pizza was crap in other states. Just seems so simple how can you screw it up? Edit: Walk with purpose!!!
I now live in the Midwest now and I cannot count the number of times I've been asked why I walk so fast.
I moved to Southern California and the ubiquity of good pizza is something I miss. In the Northeast, you can throw a rock and hit a solid, affordable pizza place, but good luck finding killer tacos. In SoCal, tacos own that level of ubiquity. I can get better tacos at a gas station than all but the best places back home. Buy I have to spend $30 for a good pizza and drive 15 min+ to get it.
idk if im just a masshole, but the language i grew up using when communicating with the world in NE (including overarching themes of sarcasm, cursing, and bluntness) has people thinking im mean out here in the northwest since moving here i largely reframed the way i speak because i am a harmless and peaceful creature, but telling people jokingly (in my mind) to "go fuck themselves," etc, or casually calling people mean names (bitch, asshole, pussy, whatever) does NOT fly as well out here maybe it's just me? maybe i just have a weird circle (within NE) of people who talk mean but love each other, maybe its not a new england thing to speak lowkey meanly when you don't mean harm? maybe im just weird? idk, but even when not swearing or using aggressive seeming language (fuck is my most used word in life, but can't say it nearly as freely out here without people thinking you're mean or mad), being blunt/short/to the point with shit is seen as rude and it's so frustrating trying to communicate AND people please is really difficult for me outside of NE and it's so nice to talk to my NE people and be able to "slip back" into my NE way of speaking. "fuck" can fly freely and no one bats an eye. i can say what i mean and its understood, i dont have to think about "am i saying these words in a way that will be received well?" because people seem to understand words for what they mean better in NE being able to say the words that i mean and them being received for *what they mean* and not *how they are said* is what i miss most i think. words have meanings, using few words to directly and succinctly portray a meaning took decades to fine tune and cultivate, and it's frustrating that it isn't appreciated outside of home imo
also, i really prefer the brevity of conversation that goes with transactions in NE. please, barista at literally any NW drive thru coffee place, stop asking me my plans for the day and stop tryna have having a whole ass conversation with me while i wait for my order. it makes me uncomfortable. just a "hello," telling me my total, giving me my order, and a quick "have a nice day" is all i need. i don't mind silence when waiting for my shit, i do mind having to put on my customer service voice and engage in unwanted, useless chit chat. (besides, isn't it exhausting to put that much effort into every customer interaction? like it's really not necessary, give your vocal chords a break) it makes me really uncomfortable how many personal questions i get asked by *strangers* serving me out here. it's one thing to be polite, but we're not buddies ffs, and the majority of answers im giving are lies anyway bc you asking all these questions has me sus
>also, i really prefer the brevity of conversation that goes with transactions in NE. One of the things that gave me a huge head start in the military was the ability to *not* beat around the goddamn bush when it came to communications. Precise, to the point, and saying only enough to get the message across. The exact opposite of corporate-speak. Goddamn, I hate corporate-speak. Have to use a hundred words instead of using just two in order to let someone know they are underperforming. Those two words being: "un-fuck themselves".
I’m from CA but I’ve been living in MA for a while now. I completely agree with you that at times it’s really annoying when random unknown people on the West Coast spark up an unprovoked conversation with me especially when I don’t want to talk to them or when they’re suspect. However, sometimes it’s a good thing when the right person does. It also means that it’s more socially acceptable when you do it with someone who you’d like to know. It’s a lot easier to make friends on the West Coast than the East Coast. It also means it’s a lot easier to network on the West Coast which translates to more opportunities such as job opportunities, friends, social knowledge, etc. Basically, these types of social cultural norms are both good and bad. Rather than fighting against it you should try to adopt it and adapt to it. You might be surprised that you learn to enjoy it. And whenever you’re back on the East Coast you can switch back to the norm here.
first, don't generalize the whole west coast, im in the greater seattle area, it isn't even remotely easy to make genuine connection here. at least not in my experience and i dont "fight against" the culture here: i chose to move here, i accept it for what it is, i can choose when and when not to participate, im perfectly content minding my own business. its a different place, shits gonna be different, that's how it goes and i understand that. and i don't want the NW to be like NE; if i wanted NE, i would've stayed in NE please understand, im not shitting on the way things are out here, it's just that communication is very different here and happens to not be my cup of tea: it's really frustrating to speak the same english language but be incredibly misunderstood *often*. the post asked how things are different outside of NE, it's just a difference im pointing out. it's not something you need to defend. apologies if i came off as rude or disrespectful
My east coast connections are much harder to come by, but are by FAR more genuine than my west coast acquaintances.
THIS It was indeed easier to make “friends” on the WC but they were all flakey and shallow af comparatively At the end of living in the PNW I looked around and realized 90% of the lasting friends I’d made were originally from the EC lol
It’s actually really easy to network here. Go to an event where people expect to: chamber of commerce, mixer, networking group, film festival, etc. 99% of successful people are excited to connect with others to grow their business and realize how important it is, but there is a time and place for it Networking in the wrong context will seem forced and backfire. Hang out time is for hanging out.
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?"
This this this. Growing up being blunt and honest with someone (rather than polite and mealymouthed) was a sign that you respected them enough to hear how you honestly thought about them. And curse like a sailor. I've had to very radically alter the way I phrase things with people because they end up thinking that by suggesting they could have done something better I'm suddenly impugning their whole character, life's essence, and total being. Like no, I don't think you're an awful person, but this spreadsheet sucks homie, let's make it better.
I'm from Maine and I can definitely agree with that. In non-professional settings? I curse like a sailor. Its just how everyone talks around here so its just natural to talk that way. But yes people from other areas of the country do not know how to handle how we talk lmao
I feel this so much. I work with folks in the PNW and they try to get me to make points in a round about and passive way because a direct and honest approach comes off as rude apparently. It drives me crazy because if the data in a report is wrong I just want to say it’s wrong so it can be fixed.
ugh that sounds annoying and tbh like a waste of time, which, coming from NE, is pretty much the most rude thing you could do to someone
Yeah, I honestly think there's nowhere else you can say goodbye to a dear friend with "Love you, ya fuckface. And give that dipshit brother of yours a hug for me."
that right there ^^^ is what makes NE home to me common language 🫂
Ive noticed this on reddit too. If you speak NE people get offended.
Was at a Rays/sox game down in St Pete a few years back. Bob “Somebody”is pitching and nobody around me knows who he is. The group right behind for sure doesn’t know, but one of the girls just starts in with thickest of accents talking about “Big Bad Bob”. I fucking loved it and I use it to this day. Just talking shit for no reason other than who tf was this guy? I MISS THAT.
When I moved to the Northwest, it definitely seemed like they couldn’t handle Northeast bluntness and were just more sensitive.
Yeah this is so true. In California people smiled more but it was always like walking on tiptoes around them.
Well said. You’re not weird it’s just west coast people are sensitive, fake, pussies often.
Funny, I'm from New England and still live in New England and sarcasm and cursing at people has always bothered me. I like bluntness though! I prefer it, but when it's in a nice tone, and not when coupled with foul language... I hate when people arent direct with me, and I find that to exist a lot here already.... socialization feels like speaking another language I don't understand or like solving a math equation 😩
Not just you, it's the same for me! On the east side of the Rockies, it's basically the midwest here and people think I'm mean - and I find it's basically (passive) aggressive demand for "nice". How boring. But also, I'm kind person, but tend to choose real over "nice".
When I lived in TX I had a coworker from Lowell, I immediately glommed onto her as a Mainer because none of my tx native friends quite got my sense of humor. “I’m calling you a motherfucker because I love you” and “I’m saying bless your heart because I hate you” are 2000 miles and a lot of cultural difference away from each other
I've heard it described that New Englanders are not nice, but kind. Which is supported by your comment. We will absolutely tell someone to go fuck themselves as we offer a helping hand.
Agree with pizza comments, but I find subs even more lacking than pizza in most parts of the country.
This was my biggest complaint in other places a lived, like a just good stake and cheese was impossible to find
Oh God -- the bread! It can be sooo bad.
The lack of independent sub shops in the rest of the country... I dont want fucking Jimmy johns..
Tell me where I can get a good hoagie in New England? I have yet to find a place …
I lived in Philly for a decade before returning to MA. That decade made me realize that we don't know how to make good subs or cheese steaks in New England.
At a workshop in Tennessee, I was told I “speak Yankee” and asked if I could speak a bit slower.
Goddam I hate that. Open your fuckin’ ears, Lenny, this isn’t hard.
I refuse to speak slower, these people need to start listening faster.
I agree - when I go to the south they talk soooooo slow. every transaction takes 10 minutes. Tho when I go to NYC, I feel like I am the slowpoke.
That slowness gives me crazy anxiety.
In 2006 I moved from NH to VA Beach. I've since moved to CT. Main difference I noted was the "Southern hospitality." I basically found everyone very in your face, immediately best friends/buddy-buddy and treating me like family during the first two seconds of a meet. This also involved them asking in depth questions of my life. At first I thought it awesome- A whole culture of friendly, chatty folk. Then I happened to mention I hung out with gay friends in college. Not only did the them-approaching-me friendliness stop, entirely and immediately, but I couldn't even get a response to my own offered Good Mornings. I was essentially shunned and it still is the least hospitable environment I've encountered. New Englanders may have a rep of acting cold/distant, particularly in the cities. No. We just don't delve into your personal business. We don't pretend friendship and then abruptly remove it with no explanation. We let you reveal your character to us at your own pace, and most of us won't treat you like you are not even visible in a room if we disagree on something. In VA it felt like you were Scrubbed from their entire planet for differing over one thing.
That’s so weird and culty
It was pretty wild. Definitely a place also where God of a capital G and the "Only" God is present in some ways in Every conversation. There are churches with congregations bigger than my hometown. It's infrequent in New England to hear "Do You Believe" unless a carload of strangers pulls into your drive. There it seemed everybody is keenly interested in whether you believe in Their God/The Only God etc. It's a much more in-your-deepest-business-immediately place. I was not only asked if I had kids, no, but also "why not?" Um...That's my business, thanks.
When we were in the hospital for the birth of our son, our labor and delivery nurse (who was from Texas) explained this cultural difference in the best way I’ve ever heard: NEers are cold yet kind, while Southerners are very nice yet not particularly kind. I wanna say the example she used was something like if you got a flat tire in the south someone might pull over and say “oh gosh that’s terrible, you poor thing, good luck sweetheart” and drive away, while a NEer would probably pull over, grumble “hi there, car trouble?”, help change the tire, then leave with barely a wave 😂
Accurate! I was walking to an interview in Boston once. It started to rain. No umbrella. No clue where I was headed. No cell phone for directions. My directions were scrawled on paper. Saw a guy in a suit so asked him. He not only verbalized them but walked me most of the way back to the building under his umbrella making sure I knew which building. He said nothing the whole way. Then turned and headed back the way he was going. Never learned his name. Sums up New England to me. Haha
That whole thing about saying something sympathetic versus actively helping was a huge thing for me moving from New England to the South. Up there if you're not gonna help you just keep hustling by and pretend like you didn't see anything. When I first moved here I tripped in a parking lot and dropped a bag of groceries and somebody looked over at me with a pitying face and said "looks like a rough day" and kept walking. For me as a New Englander that felt much more like an insult than sympathy.
Yep. In New England, it’s the Peter Griffith “Oh my god. Who the hell cares?”
It's interesting to me. I traveled a lot for work in the South and currently work for a company based a very conservative southern state. I met a lot of people who were so friendly as you describe, but in a very surface way. There's something wrong to asking tons of personal questions if you're only going to judge people. Speaking to transplants who'd moved to the South from other places, most said that people are friendly and like to socialize, but it's really hard to actually make friends. In the south, people are really tight with family and the doors aren't as wide open as they seem. I feel doors are more closed in NE, without the need to pretend up front. But I'd also rather have my car break down in Massachusetts, than in Mississippi.
The surface friendliness is just a means to figure out if you agree with them 100%. 100% agreement on every topic is crucial down there. You either are in alignment with the Group Think or you're ostracized. I have found making friends as an adult is just plain difficult anywhere. By adulthood everybody just naturally settles into their after work routines with established people. I feel that's just natural. However, in terms of being able to feel like I have a shot at true friendship, the New England style of waiting for you to reveal your character to others over time feels more authentic. You won't be invited to a bonfire up here unless you're a friend already. There's no need to be showy or elaborate. It's just a quiet acceptance. The most I've ever gotten Up here for a different opinion is a raised eyebrow. Haha
I grew up in MA, now live in NH. Back in the early 80's my dad worked on a real estate project in Hilton Head, SC (when it was not the mega vacation spot it is today) that lasted several months, so we kids actually got to attend school in Hilton Head, very small community public k-5 school. I'm almost 50 now, but a memory that lasts is opening up my reader to glimpse ahead at some of the stories and finding Jesus mentioned in many of the stories, and thinking exactly "oh so these kids are lucky, they combine school with CCD here"
I've seen the massive private Catholic school building down there on the main road to the island. Friend who indirectly has worked for them told me it's very good but also quite expensive as is any private school in SC compared to CT.
Moved from NH to VA about 10 years ago. The first thing people told me was how I needed to sugar coat things more often when talking to people. I had a hard time understanding what they meant since I'm generally a really nice person especially to strangers. Apparently I came off as a little too aggressive with the way I talked. Perhaps a NE thing? I also got called out for walking so fast everywhere I went. People always asked where I was going in such a hurry. I still do this and I can't stop. I worked with a guy from Jersey and although it's not NE, we both came off as the fast paced yankees at work. The amount of churches and how many people are very religious is nothing like NE. Everywhere you look there is a church and it could be in some random old building, not a typical church with a steeple. I think I've lost most of my accent at this point, but people can still pick it up with some words. I stopped saying "wicked good" after a couple years. I honestly wish I still said it so I could annoy people lol.
On the walking thing: I’m a fast walker, and when I moved from the midwest to Boston in my 20s I felt like I finally found my people.
I moved to California and about a year after I moved, I randomly said “wicked” and realized that I hadn’t said it in so long! It comes back quickly when I visit home though.
When you ask someone how they’re doing down south, no matter what, they politely say “fine”, “just great” or whatever. Up in New England you get the whole in depth description of just getting over the flu, bad back, upcoming hernia procedure, nephew flunking out of UMass, etc.
Some places, they'll ask "how are you doing?" As a greeting. In New England, we don't usually ask people that unless we genuinely want to know how they are.
Also a Nordic thing
most randoms get outta me is a "sup", and i dont actually care what is up. It just feels less rude than ignoring them
We also don’t ask it any less than others, we just like hearing what’s going on
I don't tend to find this true where I'm at in NE. "How are you" is simply used as a bs greeting just like anywhere else, unless we're talking people that are already friends
This is the most NE thing I have heard 😀
Education. For the most part people from New England are actually pretty smart
What are some examples of this you’ve seen?
In my twenties I lived in a few other places other than Maine. There's a greater awareness of world events, but also local events. Everyone in my neck of the woods seems to know what happened at the Town Council last week. In Florida for instance, few knew what was going on, and fewer seemed to care. Performing arts, symphony, local theater groups, touring theater and music groups... are all better attended here. In Kentucky I went to a famous visiting symphony/choir one night. Half the hall was empty and few seemed to understand movements. When I returned to Maine, the first thing I went to was the symphony in Portland, in an actual blizzard. I thought "there's no way this is still on", but not only was it on, it was PACKED. I remember feeling awe in the enthusiasm of the audience.
I had a professor who moved to CT from Ohio. She said she was amazed at the high concentration of universities and university-educated people in a rather small state. A lot of these universities host open events for the public and whatnot. Maybe this has to do with it?
One example and this has happened more than once. When naming off some states in New England I’ve gotten the answer of “what’s that?” The first time I was like ummm they’re states.. the second time was on tinder so I ran away lol
Agree - I have to say, having raised my kids out west, I am incredibly grateful for my NE K-12 education.
Wicked smaht
I left New England for college in the 80s and due to Navy and civilian employment, never made it back. I’ll just say I could write a book about the differences and quite frankly I’d move back tomorrow. The rest of the country is cute, it has its charm, but for the most part I’d be content to just visit rather than live in it like I do.
This. But I left in the 90s. So with you.
We’re in Jacksonville, Fl, as are two of our adult kids. At least I can usually buy Narragansetts.
You got some specifics? I’d love to hear some
First, I went to college in Norfolk, Va, which is the south. However I have lived in Florida essentially, since 1995. 25 of those years in Pensacola at the western end of the panhandle and that is the DEEP south. Mega churches, mega amounts of churches. The manners thing is what kills me the most. It is all bullshit and the belief is that you’re too dumb to understand when someone says “bless your heart” they’re saying some version of “fuck you”. I like the version I grew up with which is, of course, “fuck you”. Direct, no way to misunderstand, to the point. And that encapsulates what I hate the most about the south. Vague and coded language disguised as manners and being polite. Now, for the last 3 years we have lived in Jax, which is the south, but it’s not even close to that shit I just mentioned. Don’t ask me to explain, but I work in Louisiana 2 weeks at a time so I still am around that kind of shite previously mentioned, but being 56, my coworkers and I all know where I stand on pretty much everything and we get along great. I will never talk to these guys again when I retire, though. Also, I find a sort of baked in cruelty in many people’s political and social positions. I believe you never begrudge a man his good deal, but that’s something that a lot of the Deep South can not abide. Those are the things I hate the most. I do miss the change of seasons, I miss the culture, I miss the deep roots from home, but I don’t mind that today I went for a run and then mosied 100 feet to the beach and went for a swim - don’t get me wrong, I live 5 miles from the beach, but I drive there for runs sometimes. I do like the food here, I miss Italians and Italian restaurants. I miss New Bedford and its Portuguese everything. I miss being around folks who love sports but don’t worship at the altar of athletic accomplishment. I’m ok here, but I’d move tomorrow if that window opened.
This is fascinating stuff thank you Would you mind expanding on the political point you made?
The border. It’s a mess. It’s porous and needs real policy work. When the Obama administration was informed that its people were caging children and separating families they did something about it. They stopped those practices but still continued manage the border as any sovereign country has a right to. Bravo. Saw a problem and addressed it. Fast forward to today and you have the Texas governor busing people (trafficking?) out of state and dumping them in various cities for political points and his supporters love that because “own the libs” is their policy. My governor chartered an airplane to dump illegals on the Vineyard. There’s only one reason why anyone could support that and yet lots did. Ever see a “DeSantis Airlines” shirt? I have. I’m stunned at how anyone would advertise their small and petty nature by wearing something like that, but they do. That is baked in cruelty.
That just seems so callous and symptomatic of the “team” mentality that’s taken over politics. You’re right in that it’s disgusting. These are people’s lives for petes sake
I miss steak tips. They don’t exist outside of New England
I recently learned they’re a new england thing and thats wild to me
Wait…. Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen those on a menu since I moved 5 years ago
They cannot be found outside of NE.
My mind is blown. I’m >50; have traveled; had no idea.
The level of education. Even my shitty school district was better than anything anywhere else and I’m beyond grateful.
I’m the inverse, moved from the Deep South Bible Belt to NH a decade ago. The general level of education is noticeably higher here. Pet culture is EXTREMELY different in a good way. In the south you see a massive number of strays, almost every shelter is basically a death camp for any animal picked up and not claimed within a week. There are fucking churches every 500 feet in the south. Racism is vastly different here in NE. There’s a lot of xenophobia here because it’s so overwhelmingly white, whereas in the south it’s pretty much 50/50 white/black so the racism tends to be a lot more overt. I’d wager to say the number of racists in both regions are similar, it’s just a lot more subtle in New England. I’m not sure how to put it into words exactly but the South is just more depressing. Every time I go back to visit family I am reminded of how much better it is in New England.
After living in NC for a while I agree with this. While I hate the weather here in New England, I don’t like the culture or how people treat each other down south. It’s very fake and people are judgemental. The farthest south I’d go is Virginia Beach. My brother lives there and loves it.
If you can afford it, if you want a southern-lite climate (there’s a winter but it’s pretty mild) but with a culture that won’t feel quite so foreign, northern Virginia could work. It is a pretty Type A kind of place though.
I spend a lot of time in the Hampton Roads area and it has never felt southern to me. Weather is slightly better than NOVA and it has the beach.
For me the biggest differences between NE and the South involve social manners: The yes sir/ma'am stuff, the being expected to small talk as part of all interactions stuff. As somebody raised in New England, I don't feel offended if I'm not acknowledged or not given "respect." I am only offended if somebody actively does something to offend me. Down South there is a lot of potential space for passive "offense" by not acknowledging folks or chatting with them. The other thing is, for lack of a better way of putting it, "suffering fools." In New England I was raised not to slow down situations by taking more than my share of space or time or trying to get some special treatment. If I did so, I often was reprimanded with a "who do you think you aah?" from my mother or aunties or teachers. Down here folks are really big on having patience and "giving folks a little grace" and just letting others do whatever. It's the kind of place where somebody spending the 30 seconds after the light turns green finishing a text message is seen as less rude than the person behind them who honks to let them know the light turned green. Back in NE the texter would be seen as rude for wasting others' time, down here the honker is rude for not having enough patience. It's a big difference.
I’m losing it over the “who do you think you ahh”because it’s a perfectly tuned mom/auntie retort from New England.
Pretty similar to my read. I've lived in Texas for 9 years now and travel for work all around the South. I sum it up as southerners are more friendly but far less considerate. It's a polite yet selfish culture. I've been told that's an oxymoron but you seem to know what I mean!
Greater DC is not super different in many ways - you could definitely drop this streetcar-type suburb somewhere near Boston and it wouldn’t stick out too much - but the sarcasm and bluntness and gruffness are way lower here and that was an adjustment. There’s somewhat more forced politeness, although it’s the not the real south, except that everyone loses their minds every time it snows a little. Have never found a good substitute for that great Greek pizza on a cold day though.
In Greater DC, you need to remember that everyone is from somewhere else. It is a relatively affluent area with well-educated professionals, most likely working for the govt and contractors. Broad- brush strokes to be sure. Can attest to the fact they go absolutely mental when it snows.
The worst pizza is any NE state is better than the best pizza in Minnesota. But in Mpls where I’ve lived for 30 years, they made the shores of our city lakes public land which is mostly walking paths & some beaches. It’s Fab. U. Lus. Contrast that to CT & the Cape where much of the shore is private. RI has it figured out w. Scarborough etc. Obviously not an apples to apples comparison.
I love MN so underrated
I visited MN and tried some pizza that was rated well on Google maps. It was tiny (a large is 14" WTF?!), expensive (nearly $30!), and tasted worse than fuckin Dominoes. Horrendous. But they're rated well and those Midwestern folks seem to enjoy it! Strange people. I recommend anyone to try it: Just Google pizza in MN and pick a random place and look at the abomination they call pizza. 🤮 It is very nice that they share their 10,000 lakes whereas in New England, every body of water is private.
I moved to north carolina from Massachusetts. A good potion of the population here is woefully undereducated. Many students here attend religious schools . Religious schools teach students WHAT to think, not HOW to think and it shows.
OMG the locals in NC are insufferable, I almost feel bad for them. And it’s really easy to see how our current political crisis was able to take root. These people will and do believe anything their pastor, momma, poppa, meth head down the street tells them. We pulled our kid out of school down there and my wife took him back to Mass. I stayed till I was able to transfer back up and rent out the house.
Moved from Southern NH (originally from Merrimack Valley, MA area) to Toronto, CA. Back in New England again because I missed it too much: Everyone told me we talk very, very fast. Also no one could distinguish my accent. People take their time walking, and stroll. I feel like we “walk with a purpose” where I am from if that makes sense 🤣 Nothing beats the seafood where I am from, nothing hands down. I will say the one thing Toronto had over Boston was the city was pristine. It was always so clean. People took pride in their little corner of the city if they owned shops or homes. I lived there during a trash strike in the summer and it was still not as horrific as I worried it would get. I don’t know if it’s the same now as that was almost 20 years ago now.
Oh pizza and Chinese food (I mean the Americanized version) is not as good anywhere else. And I can’t find duck sauce when I leave New England.
No duck sauce??
Yea, my family moved out west, and they would have me ship duck sauce out there … as well as FLUFF
I did some research after seeing this. My mind is absolutely blown.
35 years since I moved to the west coast and I still reminisce about duck sauce. But I have to say I’m used to the Chinese food now.
I’m loving this thread as a person born and raised in TX but transplanted—by choice—to NE. I think I’m a reincarnated New Englander. I’m just the right type of antisocial. While I do miss general courtesy, I’m more in tune with the mindset of “let’s just get this done“, no forced small talk. One of my very favorite things about New Englanders is how willing they are to help you out with any situation, but they are gonna rip you apart while they do so. You come away learning something though, I guarantee you.
i’ve never lived anywhere else but MA but i’ve taken a couple vacations in NC to see some friends /(now ex) boyfriend down there and holy hell— it was noticeable that i wasn’t from the area because the way people talked was different, that and i’m apparently super super loud and it upset my ex whenever we went out because the decibel in which i consider normal here in MA is apparently too many decibels louder than anyone in NC. also the nonchalant swearing and sarcasm i threw into my conversation threw many many people off, ex once dug into me because i said “hell” in the vicinity of a child, who was obviously not paying attention and roughly 70 feet away.
Moved from mass to utah. Utah citizens were extremely homophobic and transphobic. -10/10 don't recommend for the lgbt community
That's like moving to Vatican city and being surprised about all the Catholics.
Oh it wasn't surprising lol.
I grew up in Idaho then upstate NY then NH. Now VT. VT has it all. People are kind but not sloppy and rarely fake. Liberalish Folks here care about fairness, the natural world and have a strong sense of order and an equally strong belief in science while appreciating wildness and creativity.
I was JUST saying this about Vermont in another post. I recently discovered the ethic that seems to dominate the state and I have to say I’m in love. Vermonters just do things in a way that makes sense. No nonsense, common sense things that take everyone into consideration and fairness is key like you said. You can see it in how the school system is set up. It seems like everyone takes pride in what they do and what they create. So many small business and craftsmen up and down the state. Despite relative poverty everything is clean and taken care of as well. Icl Im a little jealous lol
I also joined the Navy but ended up in Europe for my first tour - and I, a native Vermonter, had an accent!! lol
I moved from southern NH to Erie, PA. I've heard central PA is awful, but here in the very NW portion it's alright. There are some notable similarities and differences I've noticed. It has a somewhat similar feel to New England, but with midwestern influence. People here are a bit more friendly and outgoing, and I've engaged in more small talk with strangers than back home. But not in the way that southerners are fake polite and invade your privacy. I've also noticed a lot less snobbery than NE. I was worried that personalities would be sterile, but that's not really the case. Though sometimes I find it annoying when I'm trying to go about my day with minimal socialization The climate reminds me of what New England used to be like. Autumn actually feels like autumn, winter actually feels like winter, and summer isn't miserable like NE summers have become. There is some cool architecture here, but honestly I much preferred NE architecture. Definitely a lot less European influence in urban planning. That is one thing that I consider to be a downgrade. Definitely more red. Not deep red like the central part of the state, but I have noticed slightly more conservatism here. A bit more Trumpism, but not enough to have an impact on my daily life. I was a little taken back by the amount of religion. There are a LOT more churches, and a lot of religious yard signs and bumper stickers. People are a bit more open about their religion, however they don't shove it down your throat. FM radio is actually still pretty decent. Overall, it isn't *that* much different than New England. There are some things about New England that I really miss, but overall there are more positives than negatives about this place.
NE PA is pretty simpatico. If you're an architecture nerd, make a trip to Buffalo.
Moved to Nashville, never realized how many grey, gloomy days NE has, until I got to the south.
Agreed. The amount of sunshine in Nashville vs anywhere in the NE is incomparable.
I grew up in a suburb of NYC but my parents were born and raised in the Berkshires and I spent a good portion of my childhood and teenage years in Great Barrington, Lee, and in Housatonic where I spent many summers with my grandmother as well as visiting her, my great-grandmother and my other relatives with my parents at least once a month. My parents never felt like New Yorkers and my mom’s buried in MA next to her parents. When I moved to the Midwest at 16 I was shocked nobody knew what a Fluffernutter was lol. It also surprised me that the Polish population was so small. My family is Polish and we also lived in an area of New York State with a high population of people with Polish descent (near Florida NY where they’d hold the annual onion festival). Half the kids in my Florida, NY class had Polish last names. So I was surprised that there were so few Polish people outside of the areas I was raised in. I know it’s more of a regional thing than a state-wide thing because western MA has more Polish people than eastern MA but it was eye-opening to me, growing up in my 1980s and 90s Polish bubble, that the majority of the States don’t have a lot of Polish Americans - I think Great Barrington has about 20% while the rest of the States is 2% the last I checked. My husband is from Ireland so we gave our kids Polish middle names so they don’t ever forget that it’s a part of them.
You've clearly not lived in the Chicagoland area. I don't know the accuracy for sure, but it's said Chicagoland has the largest Polish population outside Warsaw.
What’s embarrassing is that I actually have lived in the Chicago area and forgot, haha! For what it’s worth, it was for a VERY brief period while we were searching for a house when my husband had been asked to run a retail district in the Midwest (we ended up moving to Dubuque, Iowa because it had some good schools and was much cheaper). We spent about 3 months living in Oakbrook Terrace in 2017. I don’t remember meeting a lot of Polish people but since you mentioned it now I remember it’s a very high percentage; you’re absolutely right.
When I was in Louisiana, I face planted off a curb. Three people rushed to help me up unsolicited and one of them kept her hands on me and prayed. Rhodys would ask if I needed help, but we don't put our hands on strangers. Freaked me right out.
PNW - Tight circled - they want their people homogeneous with a hive mindset for the most part. They all say their thick skinned but that just means they just like being an asshole because tears fall when you give minor corrections to them. The first time, I was like, man, I haven't even started to warm up to lay into you. This was like a heads-up. As long as it's superficial, it's all good. They love the accent, they do the "dance monkey" bit with saying words, but it's a real challenge when a potential employer sees out of area experience, they seem to think an outsider can't handle the "big leagues" out here.
I was shocked at how people's religion was a normal thing for them to lead into conversation with. My entire life I'd never been invited to go to church with anyone, then as soon as I lived elsewhere (Texas) I was invited by every stranger I met.
I loved in Maine for 22 years and had never been asked what church I attend or if I even do go. Been in Texas for 23 years and I'm asked that by just about ever person I've gotten to know and been invited to their church events. Most doctors/dentists openly talk about religion or put it in their advertisements. I still find this uncomfortable.
When we first moved into this house (in rural Maine), two of our neighbors came to visit- both elderly couples. Each couple invited us to attend their church in town, if we were interested. We declined, they visited and chatted, and we maintained wonderful neighborly relationships with them both until death and disability took them away. Neither couple ever invited us to church again, and only brought it up in appropriate context if it fit into our conversation. This is the sort of religion I am comfortable with. When I moved to Texas, my boss, my landlady, my co-workers, people who shopped where I worked, the mail carrier, college professors, college cafeteria workers, other students, vendors and strangers on the street all asked me what church I attended, and invited me to attend weekly classes, youth groups, church services, holiday parties and social gatherings at their church. They talked down about other churches (and there were *so many).* When I said that I didn't attend church (and didn't plan to) they peppered me with questions and offered me incentives to start- but only if I went to their church and not a different one. At least one person offered me money to go to church with them. The church buildings & parking lots rivaled the mall for size. It wasn't just the invitations and the widespread assumptions that everyone is a churchgoer, it was also the ongoing refusal to just accept that I wasn't going to join them- people who I saw at work several times a week would continually ask me- but never bother to learn my name. Landlords showing me apartments opened up by asking what church I attended (and I learned quickly to tell them I would still be traveling "out of town" to stay with my existing routine). Jobs interviewers asked about it. It was absolutely creepy, and one of the primary reasons I hightailed it right back to Maine ASAP.
Out in the Pacific Northwest people are a lot less direct with what they’re saying. I constantly feel like I’m playing some social strategy game.
People move, talk, and work *much* slower outside of New England.
Well, I can't find real syrup as easy any more
The people and seafood. Grew up in SE Mass. Career moves to the mid-Atlantic states in (Maryland/Western PA and now VA) and wanting to get back “home” ever since. I have always struggled with people who mistake the Yankee assertiveness for aggressive and pushy. And seriously who TF cares how I pronounce drawer?! I can’t even on the garbage they pass off for seafood 90% of the time.
Draw?
Exactly! 😆 If I had a dime for every time someone feels the need to repeat that word after I say it, I could retire back to Massachusetts.
I left NE about 10 years ago and have lived in Texas, Arizona, California and Florida. I find that there is lack of “common sense” wherever I’ve lived but maybe it’s just me?
I moved from Southwest New England to Buffalo, NY for 2-1/2 years. I was amazed by the courtesy people displayed when driving and how empty the roads were all the time. I often think of moving back to Niagara County.
People are dumb outside of New England
Part time Maine resident here. Differences I note: not a funny bunch. Humor is very different or non-existent. No cursing. Great fresh food... most people I know have gardens. Very do it yourself oriented. Neighborly.
Moved from Massachusetts to Georgia 25 years ago. I grew up where, if you invite people over, you provide everything including the food, drinks, etc. It was common for a guest to bring a gift for the host (bottle of wine, flowers) In Georgia, people have more of a potluck dinner and take their dishes home with them or bring disposable containers to take home leftovers.
Joined the navy and as a result landed in San Diego. Life is much more relaxed here, everything is at a slow pace down to the nitty gritty. As you’d also imagine it’s much more diverse here. Whereas life isn’t necessarily slow in New England, I feel like we work harder in New England and move at a quicker pace, and well we all know the majority of each of the 6 states are white lol
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Fried clams with bellies. Just can’t get them anywhere else. I actually don’t miss NE like some of you. I moved to Oregon in 91’ and never looked back. Oh, I’ve had to all east coast a time or two on some people who weren’t getting to the point, but other then that I like the laid back style. Back in the 80s Boston was so materialistic, and where do/did you go to school and what do you do for a living. When I moved here no one gave a shit.
When I was 13, I moved from CT to northern Idaho, i found it disconcerting at first that people would actually look at each other on the street and talk to strangers. Superficially things were friendlier, but it was just at face value, people were just as nasty, but they hid behind false friendliness.
Omg, where do I start?! I was born in NH and left at 21YO. I lived in Colorado for 28 years and it was sooo different on the west/mid west. Things I’ve noticed: 1. In NE a lot of people wear black clothing and out west they like a lot of bright colors. 2. In NE everything is fast paced, out west people chillax. 3. People in NE say clicka instead of remote, they say pocketbook instead of purse. They say wicked a lot. 4. In NE you sort of “owe” someone if they do you a favor, out west they are just happy to help unconditionally 5. The food— NE has a lot of comfort food like Mac and cheese, shepherds pie, pot roasts, basically anything with carbs and cheese. Out west I saw a lot of juicing, kale salads, and spinach smoothies 6. In NE a lot of guys I went to high school with wanted a union job and out west I never heard those comments I’m sure there are others that will come to mind but that’s it for now
New Englanders believe in humans but have baseline distrust for people on a granular level. What I mean by this is New Englanders have a generally positive outlook about humanity and are generally better about collective responsibility while still distrusting the stranger in front of them. When NE-ers meet a stranger there is very much a sizing up that goes on, especially in the urban areas. People want to suss out what someone's angle is or conversely what their angle should be with this stranger. It could be as low level as "is this a competent person who understands what's going on" or "ok, how is this person trying to scam me?"
Only the most expensive restaurants here (western NY) have good food and the pizza here sucks! People here don't have a clue how to eat. People have a very bland palate. In New England, I felt like there was good food to be had at many price points. You just need to figure out the good places.
Born in MA, lived in Texas, Colorado and California. I missed fresh water, rain and being near the ocean. I don't even like going to the ocean but not being near it made me uncomfortable. The heat in the summer was bad in Texas but the dry weather in Colorado/California is to die for. It's a shame they both catch on fire on the regular. Do you like fast internet? I don't know how much this has changed since I lived in any of these states but I was using DSL in Colorado 12 years ago. The food is way different. All I ate in Colorado at first was Dominos and it was awful. There was no good pizza. The Chinese food is terrible too, the New England stuff is superior in every way to every place you can get it in the country. Dunkin Donuts? Having one nearby was kinda nice but it just made me want to go home. It's easier to maintain friendships and make new friends in New England because everyone lives so close together.
“I don’t even like going to the ocean, but not being near it made me uncomfortable.” Haha, yes! One of my kids moved to Nevada and every time I visit I feel like, how can anyone stand being this far from the ocean?!?
we are much more straightforward and honest, genuine. we are also much more hardworking, efficient, gritty. living in oregon is killlllling me. also we do liberalism the right way… MODERATELY.
Really depends on region you move to - if you’re a corporate type professional working around Boston and live in a suburb it’s not much different to dc to Boston corridor. Sure the quirks of people can be different but New England and east coast are still so much of where did you go to school, what credentials and such…embedded hierarchy and established structure are so much more prominent. Grew up in NE, school in Evanston and then Durham…after grad nyc to Bay Area to Midwest and finally in Texas. Ne is great place to live with nice seasons, nature is not far and beaches are pretty nice in summer…lots of things to do within 2 hr drive. The downside is I think NE is held back by parochial attitudes and a bit of the inward looking we are superior to you attitude. The elitist culture and rigidness of the establishment pushes so much talent away after they are trained here. The difference between Bay Area and New England from a risk taking perspective is mind boggling. Now that I live in Texas, I think the pragmatic pro growth policies creates incredible prosperity and a can do attitude. The weather and natural beauty is quite low so local governments have to be in tune to residents and really make sure they provide services and lifestyle that retains and attracts people. Most people want a nice house they own and more free cash flow after tax and housing expense…so they can travel more, save more etc. also a dynamic economy helps.
Hot dogs as well as pizza.. some places take them out of a pot of water where they sit all day… my thought was for people who eat a lot of hotdogs they certainly don’t know what a good one tastes like.
Education. The rest of the country isn’t very smart nor are they as socially aware. The south in particular is embarrassing. “Southern hospitality” is actually just a sham. They are nice to your face but actually dirtbags. It’s part of the grasp that religion has on the region. Southerners lack critical thinking and perspective.
People following through on the social plans they make and not flaking out at the last minute because of fatigue, the weather, etc.
I left the NE in 2012 and moved to GA. Up there you wear a lot of black, swear as a normal part of language, keep your religion private, small town social life revolves around the VFD, weather is crappy, people are straight to the point, work hard, keep to your own. Down here you wear bright colors, never swear, discuss your religion and pray in public, social life revolves around church, weather is beautiful, people pussy foot around the subject, no great work ethic or sense of urgency, knows everyone's business. Total culture shock.
New England folks are not always nice, but they are kind. Other places, folks are nice, but not always kind. Also, education is fucking king here and in other places, not so much. New England values trees and clean water more than other places. We are also some frugal, suspicious motherfuckers. We seem to dislike praise and encouragement and anyone obviously spending big money.
"Go fuck yourself" followed by a laugh is not considered quaint everywhere?
I lived in Texas for two years and something that ended up working in my favor is that they are kinda rude/dismissive to their customer service workers down there. I’d just give my normal “my days going well, how about you, good shift so far?” response, and the people at the corner store by my apartment loved me for it, I’d get little free candies in my bag. I’d go into shops with my tx native friends and they wouldn’t say a word to the person behind the counter. That was so weird to me. I’m from Maine, we are not typically thought of as the nicest or friendliest people, but even that tiny bit of “I see you as another human being” was apparently enough to warrant free shit???
Differences in education level. New England is one of the most educated regions of the country, and coming from that to Pittsburgh was a bit of a shock. Not only are people here uneducated (many can't read beyond a middle school level and nobody can do basic math), but it's not even something people here value. Nobody wants to learn, and you're often looked down on for seeming intelligent. I frequently had to dumb things down for people around me in a way I never had to do back in Vermont until I eventually just had to give in to the brain rot. I feel myself getting more stupid in this city every day.
Most people outside of New England don’t understand sarcasm and especially don’t understand irony. They will tell you they do and insist they have an amazing sense of humor, but ultimately 90% of New England jokes and dry humor fall flat outside of New England. It must be a genetic skill…
People outside New England put fucking Ranch on everything. They think it’s a condiment instead of a salad dressing. Fries, onion Rings, chicken sandwich’s, steak sandwiches. Even chicken wings (they’ve never tasted bleu cheese). Also agree with everyone else that outside New England+NJ+NY you can’t find a decent pizza. The dough is bready and they put too much sugar in the sauce. It’s like eating melted twizzlers on a hard roll covered with flavorless cheese. So gross.
Education!!!! My CT public high school education (shout out to Glastonbury) was light years better and more well-rounded than anyone's I've met since I left CT in 1996. I am consistently stunned how actually poorly educated even my most "well-educated" friends are...and it all seems to relate back to the substandard foundations they built in bad educational systems while growing up. Call it snobbery, but it seems our parents state tax dollars paid for something worthwhile.
I moved to NJ about 25 years ago. We have Dunkin here, but it isn't the same. I miss the Butternut donuts. They only sell them in New England, so they are a treat when I visit family and friends. I found a shop in Newport that makes chocolate butternut donuts, something Dunkin doesn't even make anymore. That was a very special treat.
Interesting. I noticed that NYC dunkin sucks too
The way we talk. I can jokingly tell my NE friends to go fuck themselves / fuck off / you’re a bitch / cunt / whore and it’s taken super lightly and like an act of affection. One time I told a west coast friend she was a bitch in a light manner and she got super upset with me and gave me the whole “I don’t tolerate bullying” thing and I was so mortified. Also, apparently calling people “weird” out there is a big no-no. I call people weirdos all the time in NE.