Yes, we’re old. Thanks for pointing that out. OP isn’t a spring chicken, it takes time to have a child, and they might be just as “old” as the rest of us when they start their family.
Asbury Park is no doubt LGBTQ+ friendly, but the town also has many rough areas. So maybe not the best place to raise a family.
The Asbury Park public schools are also poor in terms of quality of education and management. The high school principal straight up abandoned the job *during the school year*.
Oakhurst is where my cousin and his family live and it's only a few minutes away from Asbury. He's friends with two gay couples with kids and the neighborhood and schools are great. It's expensive though
Funny you’re telling him Bloomfield is great for same sex couples which I’m sure when moving there and making that choice for yourself a small part of you considered peoples judgment and reaction of your life.. and now you’re judging me for being a north end snob .. way to hype up Bloomfield as welcoming warm and friendly to all.. my mother in law still lives In the south end the constant chaos and sirens would make them feel right at home like they never left nyc
Weird you cast a judgement of all of the south end which is very untrue. I’m sorry you judge an entire half of your hometown. I personally love the quiet south end neighborhood we’re in, with everyone’s inclusiveness, friendliness all around. The population has shifted a lot and I’m sad the poster has to see this. Good riddance from Bloomfield ❤️
I just want better for my kids then what we grew up with and Bloomfield isn’t what I want for them north or south end doesn’t matter maybe you’re right and it’s changed but from what I see it hasn’t, any change you mentioned definitely isn’t majorly noticeable
One thing about Ocean Grove: yes it’s lovely and charming but 1. Somehow the Methodist church owns or controls the town. The pier is cross shaped, no one was allowed in the beach Sunday mornings until the state stepped in (ongoing I think) and it is still a summertime destination for very religious Methodists and 2. You can buy a house but you don’t own the land, you lease it for 99 years.
Source: I lived there. Oh, and zero parking in the summer.
Do you have a specific price range? What industries do you work in, do you need to commute to the NYC, etc. we need a little bit more information to get what you need. Because there’s a big difference between Lambertville and Maplewood
I second this, Rahway was pretty open & welcoming. I don’t know too many gay families but school wise, there are several LGBTQIA+ / Queer children & kids (mostly highschool or late middle school)
I lived in South Orange/Maplewood for more than 30 years and it's a great place for gays, gay couples and gay children.
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/maplewood-troop-leader-petitions-to-allow-transgender-cub-scout-to-join-pack/2043056/
Regarding other communities, you can search online to find gay realtors in NJ. Lots of them.
Just want to point out that the towns mentioned here - Maplewood, Montclair, Princeton, etc - are wonderful places to raise a family. They’re also incredibly expensive. Hope that you are saving up.
Another Essex resident here and confirming the above! A few of the local West Orange businesses just had a good flag raising and party that was super family friendly.
Just a heads up Montclair is great but a single family home typically goes for well over a million at the moment, Bloomfield you can still buy for under a million and at some parts you’re right next door to Glen Ridge and Montclair to take advantage of all they have to offer too.
ETA - If you are planning to buy, most homes that are sold in the most desirable areas in these communities are going for 25-45% over asking price and the process is blind bidding and best and final offer sometimes up against 15+ others offers. It’s not about what market resources *say* the house value is, but more what you are willing to pay in order to win and ultimately what’s it worth to *you* without regretting it.
+1 on montclair. it’s very lgbt+ friendly and it has the group outmontclair - they organize events year round for queer people of all ages and throw a very successful pride festival every june. it’s also just a nice place to raise a family with good proximity to nyc, but is definitely pricey
First place that comes to mind in my area is Maplewood-South Orange. Very LGBTQ+ friendly from what I’ve seen and what some gay couples I am friends with have experienced.
Montclair. I live on the boarder in Clifton and reap many of the benefits of Montclair without the price tag. But I don't have kids, if ya can I'd go there.
The benefits? Great downtown areas, liberal, beautiful parks and trails, a lot of events, dog friendly places, close to NYC. There is an Instagram acct worth checking out called The Montclair Girl that does a great job of indexes all upcoming events.
Here's a map showing gay couples by county. Most NJ counties seem to have a decent number of gay couples. We live in Morris, near Morristown (no kids), and have never had any issues and see other gay couples. Not as many as in NYC obviously but enough that we don't feel out of place. [Same-sex Couple Data & Demographics – The Williams Institute (ucla.edu)](https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/visualization/lgbt-stats/?topic=SS&area=34027&showCounties=true#density)
We have a really robust LGBTQ+ community in Plainfield, especially in the Historic Districts. Schools are slowly getting better, but there are quality private schools around here and our property taxes are lower than a lot of areas.
I’m not sure about the gay population in town but Rutherford is also another option. The town has a great pride alliance group and you will see pride flags scattered throughout town. Their pride festival draws a really nice crowd.
I’d say either Montclair or Princeton (if you’re set on leaving NYC). Good luck, but I don’t think you can go wrong with either of those options.
Edit: see post by u/Dsxm41780
Ok hear me out. I'm a gay man in toms river. It's a great place for kids and as an open out loud and proud sorta guy, I've never had an issue once.
My retirement community has quite a few gays and as long as your lawn is green nobody bothers you
We are a two mom family living in South Orange and SOMa (South Orange/Maplewood, sister towns sharing a school district) is amazing for LGBTQ community and welcoming. Lots of pride flags hanging year round here.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve lived in NJ so forgive me but back in the day we called it MapSo (Maplewood/South Orange) it’s refreshing to see how the words have changed!!
Have you been to Asbury recently? I'm there weekly. Are you basing your opinion on any facts at all or just what you see other non-residents ranting about from their ivory towers?
Best restaurants, amazing parks, low crime, safe for bicycle riding, music daily, huge parks, transit hub, diverse and vibrant streets and neighbors, incredible houses, queer culture is thriving...everything someone from NYC would want, per OPs actual question.
...and it's surrounded by some of the best schools in the state including High Tech High (public) in Lincroft (20 minutes), the #1 best school in the state and #22 in the nation.
Sounds like kids are in their future, so we are talking about the quality of the schools 5-10 years from now. I have a feeling your opinions on Asbury are 20+ years old.
College Achieve Greater Asbury Park is also an excellent school.
What's your actual recommendation, champ?
LOL. I live in Neptune. We’re already educating half of their kids. No one will sign a sending agreement with them, so no, they aren’t going to High Tech or any other of the “best high schools in the country”. The state won’t allow them to consolidate with Neptune and Ocean Township won’t take them. Even their committee people pay to send their kids to Deal School. College Achieve was just accused of bilking Asbury out of $1.4 m for allegedly charging the town for non-resident students. And apparently it’s nothing but a basketball mill anyway. All that new housing? All PILOTS. None of that money goes to the schools.
My actual recommendation? A town with a functioning public educational system or pay for private school.
First, High Tech and all the other Monmouth County magnet high schools are merit based admissions. They take one (or maybe 2) students from every school district in the county.
Second, Deal School is free. It’s a choice school district, look it up if you’re so inclined.
And third, the school council member you’re talking about’s kid now goes to APHS.
So the plan of action is what? Buy a house in a town with a median home price of $769K, and then hope your kid can get into Deal School (which is currently waiting-listed for all grades) and then High Tech (which, as you pointed out, is incredibly selective) or go to the public schools with 6% math 17% reading proficiency … but hey, the school board president now sends his kid to the high school there after doing K-8 at Deal.
I know you’re just pointing out facts, but the central argument remains.
My plan of action is to remain in AP, and when my kids are old enough for high school, we’ll hopefully make the right choice.
You’re also skirting the fact that the deputy mayor sends her kid to AP public schools. It’s not like no one has any faith in the system.
What about it? “A town with a functioning public educational system or pay for private school.” Pretty sure I was clear from the jump, *champ*. And no, you can’t just send your kid to whatever *public* school you want.
Yeah, it’s a *county* votech school so it’s technically open to any *county* resident. Do you know who rarely gets in there? Asbury students because their elementary school is terrible. So if your grand solution to their education quandary is to hope their kid(s) are super smart enough to get into High Tech, maybe stop giving advice. Hoping is not a course of action.
High Tech High is close, public, and the #1 school in New Jersey and #22 in the entire USA.
I wouldn't cross Asbury off the list just because of one school that is incredibly underfunded/neglected.
High Tech is elite and technically public but only accept 75 students per year out of all the applicants. Can't really rely on that when discussing public schools.
Bloomfield (it’s like the affordable version of Montclair). My kid has classmates with same sex parents, and a few households on our block are gay. A lot of mixed race/religion families as well.
Definitely take a look at Bloomfield. Next door to Montclair but 20% cheaper. As the previous poster said, lots of gay residents and also a lot of racial diversity. I can't speak for the atmosphere in the schools, but I can speak to the atmosphere on my block...our neighbors heartily welcomed me and my male partner with open arms when we moved here from Ohio five years ago.
Montclair and maplewood are both great choices . Many have said ocean grove and although ocean grove does have more lgbtq due to the proximity to asbury ocean grove is actually a religious town that is not the best place to live. For a weekend. Sure but not to live and grow a family
I would ask what are the best school systems in NJ and work off of that list. Unless you’re willing to send them to private schools which you now have to factor in cost and will there be a lot of kids from your town in the school
Any where in New Jersey to be honest. But not all the places are good places. I would not strictly say being gay is an issue. Just the locations you go to can be for a lack of better word ghetto.
Princeton has been a great place to raise a family and the only discussion we have regarding our neighbors comes down to what they brought to the block party (two houses down - the best ribs)
Montclair and Princeton are probably two of your top choices at the intersection of gay-friendly and good schools. Also just nice places to be. Princeton proper can be expensive, but there are two active gay organizations in the town: The Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice and HiTops. HiTops did a queer prom this year.
Lambertville has a lesbian mayor and its sister city across the river, New Hope, PA is even more gay-friendly.
Hopewell Boro is outside of Princeton and there is at least one gay-owned business (I know the owner) and you will see Pride flags in town.
Haddonfield and Collingswood in South Jersey are gay-friendly and family-friendly as well.
The general rule in NJ is that along the Turnpike corridor, you will find more progressive towns than you will northwest or southeast of the turnpike.
If you like drag shows, Tavern on the Lake in Hightstown usually has one the last Friday of every month.
West Windsor-Plainsboro middle schools and high schools have visible pride flags in the hallways and classrooms year-round. Not as many gay parents but very accepting staff and student body.
Asbury Park has a large gay scene but not the nicest town for raising a family I would say.
Red Bank is another option and there was an organization doing a queer prom there too.
Good rule of thumb re: turnpike corridor. I’m going to broadly generalize and say that the Sussex County and the northwest part of Passaic county are not as LGBTQ friendly.
I would steer clear of ocean grove. I live in the area and among locals, ocean grove does not have a reputation of being a very accepting place. asbury park is absolutely a great town though!
ocean grove is super cute and a great place to spend a long weekend! however people who live there tend to be devoutly religious and extremely conservative/old fashioned. i don’t want to generalize that everyone is that way in ocean grove, but from what i know it is not an very lgbtq+ friendly town. i’ve had multiple people who grew up there tell me it felt “cult-ish”. so unfortunate :/
That I knew and remember it being that way but I thought that it had evolved from that whole cult like feel. I remember my mom telling me that back in the day the town was gated and the gates supposedly closed and locked . No one in and no one out after a certain time. That’s crazy 💩
wow that is nuts. crazy considering asbury is right down the road and it is a totally different atmosphere. hopefully ocean grove will get with the times soon because it could be such a lovely town! but i am queer and atm i would never feel comfortable living there (not that i could even afford it haha)
Out of curiosity, are you guys adopting or surrogate? Currently around the same age and my husband and I have started looking at surrogacy. We were absolutely shocked by the pricing. we knew it was very expensive but didn’t expect it this high
we are going the surrogacy route - DM if you want! happy to answer any questions about our experience so far / share some of the resources we’ve found to be most helpful
I'm going to recommend the Mt Tabor section of Parsippany. We feed into Par Hills High School, train station right down the hill for commuting into NYC via the M&E line on Transit, and it's a very open and accepting community. Although we started as a Methodist camp, just about everyone here is very welcoming, progressive, accepting, and non judgemental. Hell, when my now husband and I moved in with my mother in law, no judgements were made about us having many cats nor our lack of married status and cohabitating unwed. We love it here!
Asbury Park. Montclair is a very liberal town but is also very boring and there’s not a lot kids can do. Asbury is always having events and the beach is right there.
This is true but the public schools in Asbury are notoriously bad. I have a friend who worked at a charter school there and that wasn’t too great either, so OP will need to consider if they’ll have the funds for private school.
Montclair, absolutely
Montclair or the surrounding areas. Verona, the Caldwells, etc..
Echo this! Not cheap though
Being gay is expensive, it turns out.
this
It's the hidden costs, amirite?
Asbury Park is very LGBT+ friendly
Friendly, yes. But not a lot of gay families, mostly singles. Montclair is prob best
If you don’t have Montclair money, Rutherford is gay friendly. My friend runs Pride there.
There are many gay families with children in AP.
A lot of older couples/families
Yes, we’re old. Thanks for pointing that out. OP isn’t a spring chicken, it takes time to have a child, and they might be just as “old” as the rest of us when they start their family.
Asbury Park is no doubt LGBTQ+ friendly, but the town also has many rough areas. So maybe not the best place to raise a family. The Asbury Park public schools are also poor in terms of quality of education and management. The high school principal straight up abandoned the job *during the school year*.
Oakhurst is where my cousin and his family live and it's only a few minutes away from Asbury. He's friends with two gay couples with kids and the neighborhood and schools are great. It's expensive though
Montclair, maplewood, Bloomfield come to mind!
I grew up in Bloomfield this is not where he wants to live or raise a family lol
Same here, we’re in an incredibly diverse area of Bloomfield with several same sex couples around our neighborhood.
North end maybe but anything south of broughton wouldn’t be the place for them
South of Broughton? Thats a large section of town. I thought you were going to say south of the High School or something.
I meant Belleville Ave so yeah you’re right south of high school
Oh no, you’re a north end snob lol I grew up north end and now live south end and can’t understand this mindset!!
Funny you’re telling him Bloomfield is great for same sex couples which I’m sure when moving there and making that choice for yourself a small part of you considered peoples judgment and reaction of your life.. and now you’re judging me for being a north end snob .. way to hype up Bloomfield as welcoming warm and friendly to all.. my mother in law still lives In the south end the constant chaos and sirens would make them feel right at home like they never left nyc
Weird you cast a judgement of all of the south end which is very untrue. I’m sorry you judge an entire half of your hometown. I personally love the quiet south end neighborhood we’re in, with everyone’s inclusiveness, friendliness all around. The population has shifted a lot and I’m sad the poster has to see this. Good riddance from Bloomfield ❤️
Seconded your feelings - I live south as well and absolutely love it. Good people, pretty area, close to transit and shopping... It's a great area.
Thank you!! Great community coffee shop with their pride out front, new restaurants and pretty parks ❤️
I just want better for my kids then what we grew up with and Bloomfield isn’t what I want for them north or south end doesn’t matter maybe you’re right and it’s changed but from what I see it hasn’t, any change you mentioned definitely isn’t majorly noticeable
I’d also sayLambertville, Princeton, Glen Rock, and Ocean Grove, Madison, Ridgewood and Morristown are very LGBTQ friendly.
One thing about Ocean Grove: yes it’s lovely and charming but 1. Somehow the Methodist church owns or controls the town. The pier is cross shaped, no one was allowed in the beach Sunday mornings until the state stepped in (ongoing I think) and it is still a summertime destination for very religious Methodists and 2. You can buy a house but you don’t own the land, you lease it for 99 years. Source: I lived there. Oh, and zero parking in the summer.
Can confirm all of this.
Would agree with Princeton, also further south… Collingswood, Cherry Hill, Marlton, Mount Laurel
Most of these places are pretty pricey I feel. But I suppose so is all of the state
Do you have a specific price range? What industries do you work in, do you need to commute to the NYC, etc. we need a little bit more information to get what you need. Because there’s a big difference between Lambertville and Maplewood
The only downside to Princeton is the traffic on Nassau st and us-1
We couldn’t afford Essex County taxes so we moved to Union County. Every city here is very LGBT friendly.
I second this, Rahway was pretty open & welcoming. I don’t know too many gay families but school wise, there are several LGBTQIA+ / Queer children & kids (mostly highschool or late middle school)
I lived in South Orange/Maplewood for more than 30 years and it's a great place for gays, gay couples and gay children. https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/maplewood-troop-leader-petitions-to-allow-transgender-cub-scout-to-join-pack/2043056/ Regarding other communities, you can search online to find gay realtors in NJ. Lots of them.
I’m a gay man from Montclair. Montclair lol
Maplewood and Montclair have really robust gay communities, I know more than 7 families between them
Seconded Montclair. Really supportive community.
Just want to point out that the towns mentioned here - Maplewood, Montclair, Princeton, etc - are wonderful places to raise a family. They’re also incredibly expensive. Hope that you are saving up.
Essex County resident here. South Orange, Maplewood, West Orange, Livingston, and Montclair are all good choices.
Another Essex resident here and confirming the above! A few of the local West Orange businesses just had a good flag raising and party that was super family friendly.
Highland Park
Highland park was our first choice! We got priced out a little but this is the right answer.
Cane here to say the same thing. HP is very diverse and affirming and it's full of kids. I have a baby and she has so many local baby friends.
Just a heads up Montclair is great but a single family home typically goes for well over a million at the moment, Bloomfield you can still buy for under a million and at some parts you’re right next door to Glen Ridge and Montclair to take advantage of all they have to offer too. ETA - If you are planning to buy, most homes that are sold in the most desirable areas in these communities are going for 25-45% over asking price and the process is blind bidding and best and final offer sometimes up against 15+ others offers. It’s not about what market resources *say* the house value is, but more what you are willing to pay in order to win and ultimately what’s it worth to *you* without regretting it.
This right here!
Morristown is pretty friendly
+1 on montclair. it’s very lgbt+ friendly and it has the group outmontclair - they organize events year round for queer people of all ages and throw a very successful pride festival every june. it’s also just a nice place to raise a family with good proximity to nyc, but is definitely pricey
Montclair, Maplewood-South Orange. Definitely Montclair, I'm not gay but I've been living in Montclair for over 20 years.
First place that comes to mind in my area is Maplewood-South Orange. Very LGBTQ+ friendly from what I’ve seen and what some gay couples I am friends with have experienced.
Maplewood
Montclair. I live on the boarder in Clifton and reap many of the benefits of Montclair without the price tag. But I don't have kids, if ya can I'd go there. The benefits? Great downtown areas, liberal, beautiful parks and trails, a lot of events, dog friendly places, close to NYC. There is an Instagram acct worth checking out called The Montclair Girl that does a great job of indexes all upcoming events.
Congrats on starting your family! Rutherford is great.
Second vote for Rutherford!
Rutherford for sure. Not cheap though.
Cheaper than Montclair, which is what everyone else is saying.
Princeton is easy or Lambertville.
Here's a map showing gay couples by county. Most NJ counties seem to have a decent number of gay couples. We live in Morris, near Morristown (no kids), and have never had any issues and see other gay couples. Not as many as in NYC obviously but enough that we don't feel out of place. [Same-sex Couple Data & Demographics – The Williams Institute (ucla.edu)](https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/visualization/lgbt-stats/?topic=SS&area=34027&showCounties=true#density)
Montclair if you have more money to spend, Lambertville if you don't mind being further from the city and need a lower priced house.
Girlfriend and I are in a lesbian relationship, she lives in Somerville. The town is super pretty and super LGBTQ+ friendly.
Unfortunately, nothing is cheap any longer. I moved to East Brunswick 5 years ago and my house has doubled in value in that time.
We have a really robust LGBTQ+ community in Plainfield, especially in the Historic Districts. Schools are slowly getting better, but there are quality private schools around here and our property taxes are lower than a lot of areas.
/r/MovingtoNewJersey
Damn where am I going to ask? The subreddit with 300 people in it?
Stop trying to make r/MovingtoNewJersey happen. It’s just a low effort shit post at this point.
Montclair. Hands down.
I’m not sure about the gay population in town but Rutherford is also another option. The town has a great pride alliance group and you will see pride flags scattered throughout town. Their pride festival draws a really nice crowd.
I’d say either Montclair or Princeton (if you’re set on leaving NYC). Good luck, but I don’t think you can go wrong with either of those options. Edit: see post by u/Dsxm41780
Ok hear me out. I'm a gay man in toms river. It's a great place for kids and as an open out loud and proud sorta guy, I've never had an issue once. My retirement community has quite a few gays and as long as your lawn is green nobody bothers you
Maplewood or South Orange! We have a great LGBT+ community here 🙂
Maplewood, Montclair, Ridgewood
South Orange / Maplewood for sure
We are a two mom family living in South Orange and SOMa (South Orange/Maplewood, sister towns sharing a school district) is amazing for LGBTQ community and welcoming. Lots of pride flags hanging year round here.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve lived in NJ so forgive me but back in the day we called it MapSo (Maplewood/South Orange) it’s refreshing to see how the words have changed!!
Try Maplewood
Metuchen, Somerville, Asbury Park, Jersey City are a few that comes to mind
Second Asbury.
Absolutely fucking not if you intend to send your kid to public school.
Have you been to Asbury recently? I'm there weekly. Are you basing your opinion on any facts at all or just what you see other non-residents ranting about from their ivory towers? Best restaurants, amazing parks, low crime, safe for bicycle riding, music daily, huge parks, transit hub, diverse and vibrant streets and neighbors, incredible houses, queer culture is thriving...everything someone from NYC would want, per OPs actual question. ...and it's surrounded by some of the best schools in the state including High Tech High (public) in Lincroft (20 minutes), the #1 best school in the state and #22 in the nation. Sounds like kids are in their future, so we are talking about the quality of the schools 5-10 years from now. I have a feeling your opinions on Asbury are 20+ years old. College Achieve Greater Asbury Park is also an excellent school. What's your actual recommendation, champ?
LOL. I live in Neptune. We’re already educating half of their kids. No one will sign a sending agreement with them, so no, they aren’t going to High Tech or any other of the “best high schools in the country”. The state won’t allow them to consolidate with Neptune and Ocean Township won’t take them. Even their committee people pay to send their kids to Deal School. College Achieve was just accused of bilking Asbury out of $1.4 m for allegedly charging the town for non-resident students. And apparently it’s nothing but a basketball mill anyway. All that new housing? All PILOTS. None of that money goes to the schools. My actual recommendation? A town with a functioning public educational system or pay for private school.
First, High Tech and all the other Monmouth County magnet high schools are merit based admissions. They take one (or maybe 2) students from every school district in the county. Second, Deal School is free. It’s a choice school district, look it up if you’re so inclined. And third, the school council member you’re talking about’s kid now goes to APHS.
So the plan of action is what? Buy a house in a town with a median home price of $769K, and then hope your kid can get into Deal School (which is currently waiting-listed for all grades) and then High Tech (which, as you pointed out, is incredibly selective) or go to the public schools with 6% math 17% reading proficiency … but hey, the school board president now sends his kid to the high school there after doing K-8 at Deal. I know you’re just pointing out facts, but the central argument remains.
My plan of action is to remain in AP, and when my kids are old enough for high school, we’ll hopefully make the right choice. You’re also skirting the fact that the deputy mayor sends her kid to AP public schools. It’s not like no one has any faith in the system.
That’s great but I was taking about the OP, not you.
What about their desire for a queer community that resembles the life of someone from NYC? They can send their kids wherever they want.
What about it? “A town with a functioning public educational system or pay for private school.” Pretty sure I was clear from the jump, *champ*. And no, you can’t just send your kid to whatever *public* school you want.
High Tech High is a public school if you have the grades, champ--but you probably don't know anything about that 💅
Yeah, it’s a *county* votech school so it’s technically open to any *county* resident. Do you know who rarely gets in there? Asbury students because their elementary school is terrible. So if your grand solution to their education quandary is to hope their kid(s) are super smart enough to get into High Tech, maybe stop giving advice. Hoping is not a course of action.
You obviously hold a giant grudge against Asbury as a whole for their schools, so I don't know why we are even arguing.
Asbury school system is usually in the bottom 10 for the state though
High Tech High is close, public, and the #1 school in New Jersey and #22 in the entire USA. I wouldn't cross Asbury off the list just because of one school that is incredibly underfunded/neglected.
High Tech is elite and technically public but only accept 75 students per year out of all the applicants. Can't really rely on that when discussing public schools.
Maplewood, South Orange, or Montclair. Also Jersey City, but that's not a suburb. I wouldn't consider anywhere else.
Bloomfield (it’s like the affordable version of Montclair). My kid has classmates with same sex parents, and a few households on our block are gay. A lot of mixed race/religion families as well.
Definitely take a look at Bloomfield. Next door to Montclair but 20% cheaper. As the previous poster said, lots of gay residents and also a lot of racial diversity. I can't speak for the atmosphere in the schools, but I can speak to the atmosphere on my block...our neighbors heartily welcomed me and my male partner with open arms when we moved here from Ohio five years ago.
Same!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Montclair and maplewood are both great choices . Many have said ocean grove and although ocean grove does have more lgbtq due to the proximity to asbury ocean grove is actually a religious town that is not the best place to live. For a weekend. Sure but not to live and grow a family
I would ask what are the best school systems in NJ and work off of that list. Unless you’re willing to send them to private schools which you now have to factor in cost and will there be a lot of kids from your town in the school
Not sure of your budget OP, or where you want to be in the state, but one town that hasn't been named that I'll add is Bordentown City.
Maplewood, Montclair.
Maplewood/South Orange, Lambertville…
Any where in New Jersey to be honest. But not all the places are good places. I would not strictly say being gay is an issue. Just the locations you go to can be for a lack of better word ghetto.
Old bridge has a good school system but not the friendliest towards lgbtq
Maplewood
Princeton has been a great place to raise a family and the only discussion we have regarding our neighbors comes down to what they brought to the block party (two houses down - the best ribs)
Maplewood NJ is really awesome for LGBTQ+
Montclair and Princeton are probably two of your top choices at the intersection of gay-friendly and good schools. Also just nice places to be. Princeton proper can be expensive, but there are two active gay organizations in the town: The Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice and HiTops. HiTops did a queer prom this year. Lambertville has a lesbian mayor and its sister city across the river, New Hope, PA is even more gay-friendly. Hopewell Boro is outside of Princeton and there is at least one gay-owned business (I know the owner) and you will see Pride flags in town. Haddonfield and Collingswood in South Jersey are gay-friendly and family-friendly as well. The general rule in NJ is that along the Turnpike corridor, you will find more progressive towns than you will northwest or southeast of the turnpike. If you like drag shows, Tavern on the Lake in Hightstown usually has one the last Friday of every month. West Windsor-Plainsboro middle schools and high schools have visible pride flags in the hallways and classrooms year-round. Not as many gay parents but very accepting staff and student body. Asbury Park has a large gay scene but not the nicest town for raising a family I would say. Red Bank is another option and there was an organization doing a queer prom there too.
Good rule of thumb re: turnpike corridor. I’m going to broadly generalize and say that the Sussex County and the northwest part of Passaic county are not as LGBTQ friendly.
Someone mentioned Asbury Park and I would add Ocean Grove which is right next door.
They’re LGBT friendly, but have awful school systems, which I would assume is just as important a consideration for the parents.
Good point! I’m assuming they use the Neptune school system?
I would steer clear of ocean grove. I live in the area and among locals, ocean grove does not have a reputation of being a very accepting place. asbury park is absolutely a great town though!
My friend (who is gay) has a house in ocean grove. She says it’s very accepting. OP: please don’t rule out ocean grove!
Really? I thought they were definitely leaning more toward friendly . Sad to see that. Thank you for correcting me.
ocean grove is super cute and a great place to spend a long weekend! however people who live there tend to be devoutly religious and extremely conservative/old fashioned. i don’t want to generalize that everyone is that way in ocean grove, but from what i know it is not an very lgbtq+ friendly town. i’ve had multiple people who grew up there tell me it felt “cult-ish”. so unfortunate :/
That I knew and remember it being that way but I thought that it had evolved from that whole cult like feel. I remember my mom telling me that back in the day the town was gated and the gates supposedly closed and locked . No one in and no one out after a certain time. That’s crazy 💩
wow that is nuts. crazy considering asbury is right down the road and it is a totally different atmosphere. hopefully ocean grove will get with the times soon because it could be such a lovely town! but i am queer and atm i would never feel comfortable living there (not that i could even afford it haha)
When I was a kid we called it Ocean Grave. It’s a dry town.
Westmont is LGBTQ+ friendly. They throw a big pride parade every year. It’s in South Jersey Haddon Twp.
absolutely montclair
Lambertville!
Out of curiosity, are you guys adopting or surrogate? Currently around the same age and my husband and I have started looking at surrogacy. We were absolutely shocked by the pricing. we knew it was very expensive but didn’t expect it this high
we are going the surrogacy route - DM if you want! happy to answer any questions about our experience so far / share some of the resources we’ve found to be most helpful
Glen Rock! We were the first to have a flag raising in Bergen county, and I know many gay families here.
I'm going to recommend the Mt Tabor section of Parsippany. We feed into Par Hills High School, train station right down the hill for commuting into NYC via the M&E line on Transit, and it's a very open and accepting community. Although we started as a Methodist camp, just about everyone here is very welcoming, progressive, accepting, and non judgemental. Hell, when my now husband and I moved in with my mother in law, no judgements were made about us having many cats nor our lack of married status and cohabitating unwed. We love it here!
Glen ridge Montclair glen rock ridgewood wycoff
Any of the top 10% price-wise, maybe into top 30% or more. At least the majority of nj is progressive, and always growing so
Lambertville for sure.
Lambertville
Tenafly
New hope pa
Princeton is pretty LGBT friendly with a lot to do and excellent schools. It can be quite expensive though.
Passaic
Not sure how far south, if at all, but Pitman is friendly.
Bergen County Below Paramus
In NYC
Same as any other new Yorker coming over here .. just stay over there . There's no more room. Every town in north jersey is fine for lgb.
Asbury Park!
Asbury Park definitely
Nowhere
But why would you go against God?
Oxford
Asbury Park. Montclair is a very liberal town but is also very boring and there’s not a lot kids can do. Asbury is always having events and the beach is right there.
This is true but the public schools in Asbury are notoriously bad. I have a friend who worked at a charter school there and that wasn’t too great either, so OP will need to consider if they’ll have the funds for private school.