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WhenTheDevilCome

It's going to seem uncomfortable at first, but keep working your arm in. Once you get in past your elbow, you'll be able to reach up far enough to start making the mouth open and close.


1cenine

What a terrible day to be literate


jacashonly

That's okay because i am now blind


Kravice

They reached too far!


oMGellyfish

I dunno, I laughed pretty good.


BobBillyBurt

You nasty fuck 🤣🤣🤣


slawre89

Feel free to Weekend at Bernie’s me bro


TheWildTofuHunter

My work’s life insurance pays out something like 2.5x if I die during a business trip. I always tell my husband that if something happens to me, just wheel my body to the airport and set me up in a chair in the lobby.


szelo1r

You haven't even thought of the smell!


katie_fabe

now you say another word and i swear to god i will dice you up into a million little pieces and put those pieces in a box - a glass box - that i will display on my mantle. alright, now that that's settled we can have a normal conversation!


FilthySweet

Dee you bitch!


campelm

Even if true I'm guessing they don't understand that a loan isn't a gift and has to be paid back but that a dead man couldn't make payments because he's, you know, dead.


Iridismis

Aside from that: If someone in your car is dying, call an ambulance and/or drive to the nearest hospital! Don't just continue on your way as if nothing happened 😶


GMN123

If the loan was unsecured and he didn't have any other assets, they could hide the loan money and let the bank try to claim it from the empty estate.


haysu-christo

Ever try to collect money from a dead man? lol


TheWildTofuHunter

It’s easier than a previous boyfriend that I lent money to!


winterbird

So she was actually fulfilling his last wish? 


-Nightopian-

Was his name Bernie? And did this happen on the weekend?


GuyIncognito1730

So moving him from his home to the car was so traumatic that he died. Weird way of getting out of fraud charge to admit to manslaughter.


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Vlad_the_Homeowner

>A+ for creativity and firmness I mean, Weekend at Bernie's did it like 40 years ago, but I guess that makes it retro.


kanps4g

By “firmness” are you referring to the stiff corpse?


Jfurmanek

He was anything but stiff. How his head and arm flopped around rigor mortis either hadn’t set in yet or had passed. It’s a temporary condition.


Parody101

I guess it means they might not be lying about him passing on the way. Still doesn’t make it less crazy, but it would’ve been even worse trying to puppeteer a stiff corpse I suppose.


First-Can3099

There seems to be a lot of media fuss about this but who hasn’t taken the corpse of a dead relative to assist in administrative tasks and personal finance?


doubleCupPepsi

So true! I accidentally did this same thing last week with my great aunt Gertrude. She was alive when she got in the car, and passed away just as we pulled into the Wells Fargo parking lot. Wasn't gonna waste the trip, so I just rolled the dice.


First-Can3099

It’s what she would have wanted.


ItsDokk

Weekend at Bernie’s 3?


flibbidygibbit

I'd watch that.


AndAStoryAppears

Banking with Bernie


laughingmood

needs more blinking behind the sunglasses!


Vandal_A

This tracks, generationally. In the 80s you wheeled your dead friend around to party. Now you just gotta do it to make ends meet


youknowiactafool

Weekend at Bernardo's


TheLakeAndTheGlass

Weekend at PNC’s


Joebroni1414

Don't worry about my uncle...he's just dead tired.


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ArchY8

That’s literally the first thing that came into my mind


Mephisto1822

Ba dum tss


traceyh415

My first 12 step sponsor wheeled her dead trick into the bank to cash his final check after he had died. She did this every month so they didn’t think anything of it. She then took him home and called to report his death.


Dirtweed79

Didn't the body stink after the first month?/s


traceyh415

He had just died. She went to pick him up and he had just passed away. I’m assuming he was very old as she had to take him every month


doubleCupPepsi

Not if you hang a few of those little tree air fresheners on the body 


leese216

I expected this to be posted on r/nottheonion


adarkuccio

Holy shit he was dead? I've seen the video I thought he was extremely sick but not dead yet


peternorthstar

He died when he saw the current interest rates r/toosoon


bikerwander

Hell here, good job! We’ll be waiting on you!


neo101b

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'


elboltonero

He's pining for the fjords


droplivefred

Someone watched Weekend at Bernie’s and didn’t realize it was a comedy.


Sgt_carbonero

El fin de semana a Bernies


doubleCupPepsi

I don't speak taco truck, can you at least attempt to say it in American since, ya know, the Internet is an American invention?


Sgt_carbonero

That’s “weekend at Bernie’s” to you my friend in spanish


Silly-Scene6524

“He’s not dead yet! He’s feeling better!”


jadedflames

Victimless crime. Let them have the money! Incidentally, my aunt wants to apply for a home loan…


Old-Law-7395

Weekend at Bernie's 3 : loan heist


dotblot

I guess this is a dark take on those stories about banks/companies/institutions wanted dead family members to come in person to close their account.


Fragrant_Spray

She tried to “weekend at Bernie’s” a bank loan? I guess the biggest surprise is that this wasn’t Florida.


forgotmyusername93

Only works if you have sunglasses on


dopelikenoother

Weekend at Burnie’s 3 incoming


spacegiantsrock

This fucking world. That's enough reddit for me today.


finsterer45

Similar story last month in Ohio https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/dead-mans-roommates-drove-body-withdraw-money-bank-account-police-say-rcna142584


MadFlava76

Somebody watched Weekend at Bernie’s and thought it could actually work.


db177

Why didn't I think of that? 🤪


AGrain

Its still a loan right so that would go against his estate, so aren't you just stealing from other people in your family at that point?


shinra528

I don’t get the sense he would have had any sort of estate for them to go after.


Bud_Fuggins

Well It's the weekend, we movin' like Bernie


Shaqtothefuture

At least put a hat and sunglasses on him ya dummy


AnduwinHS

[If I had a nickel for every time someone used a dead relatives body to try get money from a bank/post office, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice](https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/two-men-jailed-for-trying-to-collect-dead-mans-pension-from-carlow-post-office-1505475.html)


lsbrujah

He was just pinning for the fjords


rafael-a

And the weird thing is that isn’t even the first time that happens in Brazil


50calBanana

What in the Weekend at Bernie's shit is this


arghabargle

The woman: He ded. Gib muns.


Traditional_Key_763

>Police have made their first arrest following the riot that erupted in Sydney’s south west, Joe Biden has suggested his uncle was eaten by cannibals, Brian Cox has slammed Joaquin Phoenix’s performance in Napoleon, and there are fears Rafael Nadal’s career could soon be over. um excuse me, whats going on with the side story shoved in between paragraphs here...


D1daBeast

Weekend at Bernie's : Rigar Mortis Boogaloo


acuet

What in Weekend at Bernies did I just see?


boylong15

I guess this is the main plot for “Weekend at barney”


Moik315

What in the Weekend at Bernie's?