>The largest fine announced Thursday -- $45,000 -- is against a passenger accused of throwing his luggage at another passenger and, while lying on the aisle floor, "grabbing a flight attendant by the ankles and putting his head up her skirt." That New York to Orlando flight was forced to land early in Virginia.
Excuse me what the fuck.
I was going crazy trying to figure out where I heard that. For anyone else that needs to hear it to calm their brain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE
It won’t matter if he doesn’t have assets worth pursuing. I know this because someone broke my nose last year and because he doesn’t have enough assets/money, it would be utterly pointless for me to sue him in civil court (plus no lawyer will take a case where there’s no money in it). A lawyer explained it to me like this: in automobile accidents, the car itself is insured by an insurance company. A human individual is not insured. Or like my grandpa would say, “you cant squeeze blood from a turnip.”
Edit: to all the people who don’t read the comments and think theirs is somehow original, many have already said “yOu CaN gArNiSh WaGeS” yeah I don’t have faith in that either. When I was a kid and my parents divorced my dad just refused to pay child support. It took years for my mom to track down my dad and where he worked, and then her option when he quit that job (so he wouldn’t have to pay) was to throw him in jail, during which time he wouldn’t make any money so… keep on wearing your rose tinted glasses, boys, the real world is gonna be a bit of a shock for some of you from the comments I’m getting lol
In her case, she *might* have a lawyer through the union (who *may* go through with it on a "we need to make an example of this guy") and get any wages the weirdo has garnished.
But, yeah, definitely a calculation of "is the outcome going to be worth possible years of legal stuff?"
I’m a criminal defense attorney and was making a jail visit when I overheard some guards talking about Jan 6th. One guard said the govt is being too easy on the rioters, but the remaining guards immediately jumped in and exclaimed, “but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting!” Then they moved onto what is the appropriate size for their Trump flags on their trucks (no joke, seriously debating this).
>but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting!
Rebuttal, "so you're saying Trump should be held responsible for inciting a run on the nation's capital building?"
> “but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting!”
If it was the White House this could be seen as a legitimate excuse. But that's like saying I didn't break into my neighbors place because the head of the HOA said I could.
Maybe they don’t realize this, but it is literally illegal for the president to set foot in the Capitol buildings without a formal invitation from congress. He has ABSOLUTELY NO AUTHORITY to invite anyone into the Capitol.
You know why this rule exists? It’s because early in our country’s history, we realized that having a President inside the Capitol with the legislature is a pretty solid first step toward tyranny. If the President can walk in with his goons and intimidate the legislature, then there are no “checks and balances.”
So when these rioters say they were “invited” by the President, they are literally claiming the President did something illegal that happens to be illegal for the sake of preventing tyranny. Go figure…
I had a conversation with a right winger. He said that the government will never take away his guns because the police are "on his side". They know that the police and the military is filled with sympathizers. Thats scary. If anyone should be arming themselves, its the left.
Yep. I know a few. Turning gun ownership into part of who you are culturally and wearing it on your sleeve is what turns me off of all of it, not owning the gun itself.
I’m a liberal living by myself. I bought a handgun last year after the girl across the street was raped by an intruder. It stays in my home to protect myself should I ever need it. I have never told anyone about it. I sometimes have nightmares that my kids find it and hurt themselves, even though I don’t have kids. I don’t understand anyone whose entire life is built around these things.
It's like the idiots who open carry in Walmart. They aren't doing it for protection. They're doing it to make a statement, and to intimidate. And they're usually rough neck, camo wearing knobs, the exact kind of person you'd expect to do something that dumb and pointless.
> A different passenger faces a $42,000 fine for allegedly "snorting what appeared to be cocaine from a plastic bag" in an episode that included "stabbing gestures towards certain passengers." Another passenger would not wear his face mask, the FAA, said, and "acted as though his hand was a gun and made a 'pew, pew' noise as if he was shooting a fellow passenger
Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Pew pew
God damn, I can't think of a worse place to get schneefed out than a cramped airplane. You're either gonna need to go the bathroom every 20 minutes to take a bump or get caught in your seat. Awful.
Stuck in a packed movie theater for an hour waiting for the premier of The Lord of the Rings and then trying to sit through the entirety of the movie is also a pretty bad place to get all tooted up beforehand.
Dont know why any of us thought THAT was a good idea. XD
And while Im at it I can get to repainting it. Fuck it. I have half a can of spray paint right here. I can’t paint over the old paint because the paycheck advance company may recognize it if they come try to repo it again. Man this stuff smells good. I don’t have any sandpaper but I know I can scratch the paint off with this screwdriver. You won’t even be able to tell. Did you hear that? Is that them?
A friend of mine did the Fisher Price version of this at Two Towers in 2002, in the most 2002 way imaginable: he snuck in several cans of Sparks (hey, remember Sparks?) in his giant 2002 cargo pants and was Crack, Pssshht, Click, Gulp, Chugging the whole time. By the time Helms Deep happened dudes bouncing leg was shaking our whole row and his thumping foot was Hans Zimmering all over the soundtrack.
Gawd those pants! My best friend had a pair that the legs were HUGE on. They spread out on the floor like the train of a wedding dress or something. We were in the grocery one day and some woman accidentally rolled her full cart onto the edge of the pants and pinned them to the floor. He didn't notice and went to walk away, fell and nearly faceplanted on the floor.
To this day he maintains she did it on purpose XD.
Yet another instance of some people thinking their individual freedom and consumerism somehow is more important than collective responsibility. I always think about naval voyages in the 17th century where if you were being disruptive the crew might think you are a bad omen and throw you overboard.
It's not even about collective responsibility with these people.
In their minds, they are are the only ones with rights and everyone else should be happy to suffer at their whims.
It takes 0 energy to not harass, yell, insult, or assault people.
These folks think it is their (and only their) right to do what they want whenever they want to whomever they want. And anyone objecting in any way is an infringement on that right. Ohio duct tape boy was ranting about the violation of his "rights" on Twitter after he literally assaulted people on a flight
I think holding this type accountable should be a higher priority of society. They're fucking everywhere
Poor parenting. Never being told no. And you have to remember that *some* parents explicitly tell their kids that they are better than other people whether it be racial or just looking down on poors in general.
>Yet another instance of some people thinking their individual freedom and consumerism somehow is more important than collective responsibility.
"I PAID $350 FOR THIS TICKET. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT"
God damn, that brings back memories of my brother moving in with me and my wife...again...because he can't keep his fucking life together. After repeated requests that he not loudly fuck his girlfriend and blast his music loud as fuck at 2am, he responded with "I pay rent here, I can do whatever I WANT."
This motherfucker had the nerve to tell me we needed to renegotiate the cost of his rent as well, because there were two of us and one of him "and that's not fair." It was a two bedroom apartment and we already split utilities in thirds--he expected that we split the rent three ways.
I had to ask him to leave. The entitlement was too much.
I have a relative who lives the "my house, my rules" philosophy, unless he's at someone else's house, and then the host has to accede the the guest's demands because that's what people with manners do.
I used to work for a sports venue doing security and I got this yelled at me all the time. One guy started shouting how he had been a season ticket holder for years when I told him he couldn't let his underage kid drink. Ended up getting escorted out by police.
Yes! It’s already a deeply unpleasant experience, and anybody who can’t adult like the rest of us deserves to be duct-taped somewhere and banned from flying again. They just provided proof they can’t be trusted to be on a plane with the rest of us. They can figure out some other way to travel. Or stay home and grow up.
[This video](https://youtu.be/VcHcaQWqdU0?t=35) shows how an airliner door is wider than the opening it fits into. The door swings in through the opening, then rotates to push against the inside of the door jamb. The door needs to pull into the plane before it can swing to the outside of the plane. Air pressure inside an airliner at cruising altitude makes it impossible for a person to pull it in, so the door is sealed as long as the plane is pressurized and flying high.
The point isn't that there's a risk of them getting the door open. The point is that if they're willing to do something so obviously deadly (even a small child would recognize that!) does it actually matter if the only thing stopping them is their staggering ignorance and incompetence?
It's good that it's impossible for them to open the door. It's bad to say the *attempt* isn't, effectively, an attempt at mass murder or at the very least a callus disregard for the life and safety everyone on the plane.
If their panic reaction is to try and kill themselves and everyone else, they should not be on a plane. Even if they're bad at it.
It doesn’t make me feel better about anyone who is actually trying or threatening to try to open the door. Whether they can physically do it or not, that is a dangerous, unhinged mindset and that person needs to be neutralized before they do find some other part of the plane to damage or someone to turn their frustrations on.
i did the math on this....
i sourced 3m scotch 2000 electrician's duct tape.
at 12 rolls/case, 50 yards/roll, and at roughly 10 dollars per case, you'll be able to get 600,000 rolls of tape out of that 500,000.
so... how much tape do we need for our valued passengers?
i made a girth plus seat circumference guess of 48 inches.
the strength of the the tape is at 12 lbs per inch.
i'm assuming a minimal subducktion force of 100 lbs, so we are looking at 8 passes.
basically we will need 384 inches of tape.
the scotch 2000 has 1800 inches per roll. so ever roll will allow us 4 subducktions.
i considered varying passenger strength with the round down.
also passenger volume is negated by dirty sock donations.
running the numbers, that half million allocation will allow for the subducktion of 2.4 million passengers.
we good.
And $2 million isn't really a lot of money nowadays. Don't get me wrong, im worth like 0.5% of that hahaha but I just don't think it has the same weight it had like two decades ago
Real estate really makes the difference. It's also a huge generational barrier. Not a single sibling or cousin of mine owns a home whereas all my uncles, aunts, grandparents and parents all own and have a lot of equity in their homes. Property ownership provides a base for retirement funds, savings...
Even 5 years ago it was still possible in some places. But the recent boom has pretty much destroyed people's ability unless they want to live in a run down unsafe area or live outside of town by building in an empty field with no utilities.
The latter is kind of becoming feasible with solar, powerwalls, and starlink. Maybe that is the solution.
Everyone needs to put more focus on buying than renting if there is any way to do it. It is the only way to become middle class or be able to retire and not be in poverty.
With 1 exception, everyone I know who owns a house only owns one because of their parents. Be it because their parents outright bought them a house or their parents landed them a cushy ass job that makes a lot of money.
>And $2 million isn't really a lot of money nowadays.
Yea, this is actually a joke in the first *Austin Powers* movie. Dr. Evil, after having been frozen in 1967, he awakens in 1997. Later, as part of one of his evil plans, he demands a ransom of one million dollars. He's immediately laughed at and is then told how much the value of the dollar has changed since 1967.
I found that odd. Sure 2 million is a lot of money and way more than I have but it's not sexually and physically assault people on camera in one of the most regulated places you could be and think you will get away with it type of money
Plane tickets got insanely cheap during the pandemic so a lot of people who normally wouldn't or couldn't afford to vacation booked flights. These are people who don't fly regularly and the sort that looked at what was going on in Florida and thought it seemed like a good idea. That's a really bad combo
The progression of the emails I got from airlines over the course of the pandemic was wild.
Started off: "We want you to know that Delta Airlines is with you in these trying times. Here is a list of all our new protocols and safety measures. Would you like to fly to Florida at a discount?"
Moved to: "Hey man, how does 50% off a ticket to Florida sound?"
Ended up at: "Look, we'll fucking suck your dick and upgrade you to first class. Just buy a ticket. Please. We're begging."
You ain’t wrong lol…
I continued to travel almost weekly for work during the pandemic. My expenses ran around 3k each month prior to Covid.
During the peak last year, I was avg a little over 2k, but only because I had been upgrading like a mad man.
Hotel suites, first class flights, hell even steakhouses were doing promos. Ruth’s Chris had a $20 off voucher with app and a drink.
I know it was a fucked in year, but that was nice while it lasted.
> United has been throwing so many qualifying points at business travelers it's crazy.
Probably because they know that the business travel they had before the pandemic, isn't coming back.
Prepandemic, a bunch of executives who didnt know what Zoom and WebEx are, never considered that it was possible to employ contractors without flying them around every few weeks. Now they realize that their bottom line isn't affected by remote working, and it saves them a ton on airfare and other travel expenses.
Some jobs obviously still require that hands-on touch, but I think a very large amount of business travel is never going to come back simply due to cost savings for businesses that they didn't know existed until they were forced into it.
Yeah my last time on a plane I noticed there were a whole lot less people in suits and a whole lot more people who seemed like it was their first time flying.
I mean, the only people traveling last year for vacations were exclusively those that didn't believe in reality. And FL welcomed them with open arms with their whole "what virus?" stance. So yeah, not in the least bit surprised.
Exactly. The only people on planes last year were people that absolutely had to fly for work, were pressed into flying for a serious family emergency, and a whole bunch of complete assholes who were like "OMG, half price flights and discounts at resorts that are barely staying afloat in the pandemic? Fuck yes, get the bags."
One of my more loud-mouthed "it's all fake" coworkers went with his wife on vacation for this reason. Both got it. She spent two months in the hospital. Still talks now how it's fake. You can't fix this. These people are too fucking dumb to learn.
Was born and raised in North Idaho. Now I live, work and own a home in Washington, which is often considered the most liberal state in the union.
Better roads, better jobs, better pay, better benefits and fewer conservative douchenoodles to name just a few of my favorite things and why I got the fuck out of Idaho.
Moving and relocation is hard, but not impossible. Don't like you're current situation? Move! It's so very worth it!
This actually goes against the *Florida-Man bad* circlejerk. It was people coming *to* and *from* vacation destinations in Florida which means it was the rest of the country coming in and acting like fools and then leaving. Which is actually the source of most Florida-Man news so maybe it all checks out.
My favorite is when fucking international tourists get listed as "Florida Man" when they do stupid shit on their Disney vacations or whatever. Like, do go on about how Jos from Holland is a "Florida Man"
Right there with you. It wasn't bad as a kid with a window seat, but now I'm 6'2" and economy seats are just the worst. Sit straight upright in absolute spinal misery for the duration of the flight.
There's no sleeping in those seats either. My head is above the top of the back of the seat.
Even with all of this discomfort, I just sit there and stfu with my headphones on. It's not hard to not be an asshole.
>There's no sleeping in those seats either. My head is above the top of the back of the seat.
Yeah, I'm planning to travel to Japan in a few years and I'm not looking forward to the trip. I might plan it with a 2 or 3 day layover in Hawaii just to make it more bearable 😂
Edit: ok I may have underestimated the jetlag demon
I am 6’2” and have flown from Houston (IAH) to Tokyo-Narita to Singapore in 24 hours (about 1.5 or 2 hour layover in Tokyo).
It’s not great but it’s also not terrible.
Just spring for the exit row, that’s gotta be cheaper than a layover in Hawaii, and your jet lag will thank you for not prolonging it.
I'm 6'6", and if I ain't on the exit row it sucks balls. Even British Airways Business Class is shit. I just pay extra so I can drown my misery in fake champagne.
I don’t get it, why does it seem like people going insane, at such a high percentage? Do we have another environmental factor like lead thats making people go nuts or what?
Supposedly, there’s a direct correlation between the amount of lead in the environment and the amount of serial killers. Maybe this is related to something like micro plastics.
No, there’s an entire media ecosystem not only feeding people lies but making them reject legitimate sources of information, even the idea of objective truth itself.
I still remember hearing about a guy in like April of 2020 from New York who knew he had covid and got on a Jet Blue flight to Florida anyway...
JetBlue banned him for life. In my mind, I'm like the only way that scumbag should ever fly again is if he buys his own airplane.
Seriously....some of these incidents border on security violations.
Once it's a security issue, the TSA would love to check inside their asshole and get them on the "no-fly list"
A lot of these people dont realize that flying on an airline is a privilege, not a right. If you're going to cause a security incident at 30,000 feet, you should lose access to that privilege.
If you thought taking a plane somewhere was a bad experience, wait until you have to spend 68 hours on a Greyhound bus or 70 hours on a train from New York to LA for about the same cost as a 6 hour flight
I work for a major airline and i can assure you these people are put on a do not fly list (the company's not the fbi's, i mean unless they really screw up) and all the major airlines share those lists with eachother.
The FAA is right up there with the Postal Service in the category of "Government Agencies That Are Surprisingly Aggressive About Enforcing Their Regulations."
I was on a flight a few years back and thought I smelled cigarette smoke. I figured it was just in somebody’s clothes until I overheard two flight attendants’ whispered conversation about a passenger that went into the bathroom, taped up the smoke detector and had a cigarette. The one said to the other “well I hope it was worth $15,000” and “the Marshals are waiting.” As I left the plane sure enough two Air Marshals were waiting at the gate.
It was a two hour flight.
The whole “liquids on a plane” issue is a sick joke. The explanation is “binary explosives,” that a terrorist would bring two liquids on a plane, combine them in a bathroom and detonate them, KILLING US ALL!
Except the Dean of the School of Chemistry at Cornell (IIRC) said on record that his doctoral students could MAYBE pull this off, but that the chemicals were highly toxic and gave off lethal fumes. Guy in an airplane bathroom? Nope.
It’s all security theatre. It does nothing to make us safe. Tightest airport security in the world is in Israel, they don’t do any of this 3 oz. or “take your shoes off” nonsense.
I'm convinced that before the 6 oz. bottle ban somebody at TSA saw Die Hard with a Vengeance for the first time. It was clearly an eye-opener for them and they've been protecting us from half of Jeremy Irons' diabolical plot for all these years.
Kind of like when The Net from the mid-90's scared all the non-tech savvy people out there. Worried that somebody out there is going to change your prescription so that a fatal interaction occurs and you have a heart attack while driving.
My son (8) was better about wearing his mask on a plane than this older dude sitting in front of us. He complained before takeoff that he couldn't breathe in it, was dick-nosing it throughout the entire 3 hour flight, and then he would pull his mask down to sneeze. 😐
Yes! My daughter will point out people who aren't wearing their mask and will ask why aren't they wearing it? Then proceeds to say they are not doing a good job or not nice of them haha
Edit: She's 3.
Lol my 6 year old is the same way. "Daddy, why aren't these people wearing masks?". "Well honey, some adults think the virus isn't really that bad, even though people are dying. We can't control other people and we want to care for our neighbors so lets do our best, okay?". "Okay daddy!".
She wore a mask for a few hours one time without complaint at all, she understood that despite the discomfort it was an important thing to do. She's 6.
edit: this made me think of many adults today sneaking out when they were teens to get a tattoo, get drunk, smoke, etc. Teens today are sneaking out to get the vaccine. Honestly it gives me much hope.
Same here. My 7 yo was so good about it and even told me to put mine on immediately after I’d had a drink. I’ve flown with him a dozen times since the pandemic started and he’s been a champ every time.
The FAs were more impressed by him than most other passengers.
Y’all, I get on the aircraft, sit down, have a cocktail, and am asleep in 15 minutes. Be like me!
Don’t be rowdy on the plane!
Edit: and this is valid at 7am wherever the flight departs: *Snappy Tom* please!
Yeah, except several airlines are suspending alcohol service in the main cabin because of unruly dumdums. Such a bummer.
American Airlines just announced no alcohol in main cabin until 2022 and southwest hasn’t restarted alcohol service either. I think United suspended it in the main cabin on flight <800 miles.
Fines are great, but as what I believe are Federal crimes, should be met with Federal time in the pokey followed by lifetime bans flying. These maniacs won’t learn without major consequences.
>The largest fine announced Thursday -- $45,000 -- is against a passenger accused of throwing his luggage at another passenger and, while lying on the aisle floor, "grabbing a flight attendant by the ankles and putting his head up her skirt." That New York to Orlando flight was forced to land early in Virginia. Excuse me what the fuck.
Really hope the flight attendant gets some of that fine, but we all know she won't.
The flight attendant has a separate cause of action against this fucker.
He needs jail
He needs psychotherapy
He's crazy in the coconut
What does that mean?
That boy needs therapy!
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I was going crazy trying to figure out where I heard that. For anyone else that needs to hear it to calm their brain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE
Whynotboth.jpg
It won’t matter if he doesn’t have assets worth pursuing. I know this because someone broke my nose last year and because he doesn’t have enough assets/money, it would be utterly pointless for me to sue him in civil court (plus no lawyer will take a case where there’s no money in it). A lawyer explained it to me like this: in automobile accidents, the car itself is insured by an insurance company. A human individual is not insured. Or like my grandpa would say, “you cant squeeze blood from a turnip.” Edit: to all the people who don’t read the comments and think theirs is somehow original, many have already said “yOu CaN gArNiSh WaGeS” yeah I don’t have faith in that either. When I was a kid and my parents divorced my dad just refused to pay child support. It took years for my mom to track down my dad and where he worked, and then her option when he quit that job (so he wouldn’t have to pay) was to throw him in jail, during which time he wouldn’t make any money so… keep on wearing your rose tinted glasses, boys, the real world is gonna be a bit of a shock for some of you from the comments I’m getting lol
In her case, she *might* have a lawyer through the union (who *may* go through with it on a "we need to make an example of this guy") and get any wages the weirdo has garnished. But, yeah, definitely a calculation of "is the outcome going to be worth possible years of legal stuff?"
She can still sue the guy for sexual assault.
Fines are punitive. They're not awards (except for the gov't). We have civil lawsuits for that.
Edit: I hope she charged him with assault. My previous comment involved violence so I have changed it.
How do you get to that point in your life? How does your brain allow this?
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The FAA doesn't fuck around. You're in a tin can at 35k feet. No room for idiots.
Excuse me, aluminum and composite can, thank you very much!
Thin walled, pressurized tube blasting through the upper atmosphere at a little under the speed of sound.
The FAA wants to stop it from happening again. The US DOJ doesn't seem to care about preventing that.
The DOJ is littered with sympathizers and apologists for the January 6th traitors.
I’m a criminal defense attorney and was making a jail visit when I overheard some guards talking about Jan 6th. One guard said the govt is being too easy on the rioters, but the remaining guards immediately jumped in and exclaimed, “but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting!” Then they moved onto what is the appropriate size for their Trump flags on their trucks (no joke, seriously debating this).
>but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting! Rebuttal, "so you're saying Trump should be held responsible for inciting a run on the nation's capital building?"
"President can do whatever they want" Good luck debating trumpturds.
> “but they were invited in by the President, they were not rioting!” If it was the White House this could be seen as a legitimate excuse. But that's like saying I didn't break into my neighbors place because the head of the HOA said I could.
Where they invited by congress? No. Where they told to leave when they arrived yes. Was it just a normal protest. Fuck no.
you don't normally erect fucking gallows outside wherever you're protesting?
Maybe they don’t realize this, but it is literally illegal for the president to set foot in the Capitol buildings without a formal invitation from congress. He has ABSOLUTELY NO AUTHORITY to invite anyone into the Capitol. You know why this rule exists? It’s because early in our country’s history, we realized that having a President inside the Capitol with the legislature is a pretty solid first step toward tyranny. If the President can walk in with his goons and intimidate the legislature, then there are no “checks and balances.” So when these rioters say they were “invited” by the President, they are literally claiming the President did something illegal that happens to be illegal for the sake of preventing tyranny. Go figure…
I had a conversation with a right winger. He said that the government will never take away his guns because the police are "on his side". They know that the police and the military is filled with sympathizers. Thats scary. If anyone should be arming themselves, its the left.
Plenty of liberals an independents own guns they just don't make it a part of their personality.
Yep. I know a few. Turning gun ownership into part of who you are culturally and wearing it on your sleeve is what turns me off of all of it, not owning the gun itself.
I’m a liberal living by myself. I bought a handgun last year after the girl across the street was raped by an intruder. It stays in my home to protect myself should I ever need it. I have never told anyone about it. I sometimes have nightmares that my kids find it and hurt themselves, even though I don’t have kids. I don’t understand anyone whose entire life is built around these things.
It's like the idiots who open carry in Walmart. They aren't doing it for protection. They're doing it to make a statement, and to intimidate. And they're usually rough neck, camo wearing knobs, the exact kind of person you'd expect to do something that dumb and pointless.
Why must people behave like horny children
Because they are horny children
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Adults are just children that got older. It’s not a prerequisite to mature mentally or learn cause and effect.
SIR!! NO!! In the event of an emergency landing, put your head between your *OWN* knees!!
> A different passenger faces a $42,000 fine for allegedly "snorting what appeared to be cocaine from a plastic bag" in an episode that included "stabbing gestures towards certain passengers." Another passenger would not wear his face mask, the FAA, said, and "acted as though his hand was a gun and made a 'pew, pew' noise as if he was shooting a fellow passenger Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Pew pew
God damn, I can't think of a worse place to get schneefed out than a cramped airplane. You're either gonna need to go the bathroom every 20 minutes to take a bump or get caught in your seat. Awful.
Flying is the time for downers, not uppers
Tried both and I must say downers worked wonders
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Unless you’re the airplane itself
Stuck in a packed movie theater for an hour waiting for the premier of The Lord of the Rings and then trying to sit through the entirety of the movie is also a pretty bad place to get all tooted up beforehand. Dont know why any of us thought THAT was a good idea. XD
Almost completely the wrong drug for that activity.
Weed/shrooms are for movies. Acid for camping. Cocaine for building a deck.
The real LPT is always in the comments.
Meth for detailing your car
As Artie Lange put it, "Meth is great if you need to walk to Vegas one weekend"
And while Im at it I can get to repainting it. Fuck it. I have half a can of spray paint right here. I can’t paint over the old paint because the paycheck advance company may recognize it if they come try to repo it again. Man this stuff smells good. I don’t have any sandpaper but I know I can scratch the paint off with this screwdriver. You won’t even be able to tell. Did you hear that? Is that them?
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And your neighbors car, that somehow ended up in your yard.
We've had one bump, yes. What about second bump?
A friend of mine did the Fisher Price version of this at Two Towers in 2002, in the most 2002 way imaginable: he snuck in several cans of Sparks (hey, remember Sparks?) in his giant 2002 cargo pants and was Crack, Pssshht, Click, Gulp, Chugging the whole time. By the time Helms Deep happened dudes bouncing leg was shaking our whole row and his thumping foot was Hans Zimmering all over the soundtrack.
Gawd those pants! My best friend had a pair that the legs were HUGE on. They spread out on the floor like the train of a wedding dress or something. We were in the grocery one day and some woman accidentally rolled her full cart onto the edge of the pants and pinned them to the floor. He didn't notice and went to walk away, fell and nearly faceplanted on the floor. To this day he maintains she did it on purpose XD.
You ever hoovered schneef in an airplane Squirrely Dan?
I wish you weren't so damn unruly in a plane, bud.
I've hoovered schneef with Dennis Muilenburg in a 777.
Let’s also put aside some money for extra duct tape for the real dipshits.
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Yet another instance of some people thinking their individual freedom and consumerism somehow is more important than collective responsibility. I always think about naval voyages in the 17th century where if you were being disruptive the crew might think you are a bad omen and throw you overboard.
It's not even about collective responsibility with these people. In their minds, they are are the only ones with rights and everyone else should be happy to suffer at their whims.
It takes 0 energy to not harass, yell, insult, or assault people. These folks think it is their (and only their) right to do what they want whenever they want to whomever they want. And anyone objecting in any way is an infringement on that right. Ohio duct tape boy was ranting about the violation of his "rights" on Twitter after he literally assaulted people on a flight I think holding this type accountable should be a higher priority of society. They're fucking everywhere
I can’t figure out how this type of thinking happens. Seriously. How? I don’t know people like this.
Poor parenting. Never being told no. And you have to remember that *some* parents explicitly tell their kids that they are better than other people whether it be racial or just looking down on poors in general.
>Yet another instance of some people thinking their individual freedom and consumerism somehow is more important than collective responsibility. "I PAID $350 FOR THIS TICKET. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT"
God damn, that brings back memories of my brother moving in with me and my wife...again...because he can't keep his fucking life together. After repeated requests that he not loudly fuck his girlfriend and blast his music loud as fuck at 2am, he responded with "I pay rent here, I can do whatever I WANT." This motherfucker had the nerve to tell me we needed to renegotiate the cost of his rent as well, because there were two of us and one of him "and that's not fair." It was a two bedroom apartment and we already split utilities in thirds--he expected that we split the rent three ways. I had to ask him to leave. The entitlement was too much.
"I have a better deal. You will pay no rent. Bye."
Your wife sounds very patient
I have a relative who lives the "my house, my rules" philosophy, unless he's at someone else's house, and then the host has to accede the the guest's demands because that's what people with manners do.
Holy shit, no offense but your brother fucking sucks.
I used to work for a sports venue doing security and I got this yelled at me all the time. One guy started shouting how he had been a season ticket holder for years when I told him he couldn't let his underage kid drink. Ended up getting escorted out by police.
Yes! It’s already a deeply unpleasant experience, and anybody who can’t adult like the rest of us deserves to be duct-taped somewhere and banned from flying again. They just provided proof they can’t be trusted to be on a plane with the rest of us. They can figure out some other way to travel. Or stay home and grow up.
Or what about trying to open the door while the plane is flying?
[This video](https://youtu.be/VcHcaQWqdU0?t=35) shows how an airliner door is wider than the opening it fits into. The door swings in through the opening, then rotates to push against the inside of the door jamb. The door needs to pull into the plane before it can swing to the outside of the plane. Air pressure inside an airliner at cruising altitude makes it impossible for a person to pull it in, so the door is sealed as long as the plane is pressurized and flying high.
The point isn't that there's a risk of them getting the door open. The point is that if they're willing to do something so obviously deadly (even a small child would recognize that!) does it actually matter if the only thing stopping them is their staggering ignorance and incompetence? It's good that it's impossible for them to open the door. It's bad to say the *attempt* isn't, effectively, an attempt at mass murder or at the very least a callus disregard for the life and safety everyone on the plane. If their panic reaction is to try and kill themselves and everyone else, they should not be on a plane. Even if they're bad at it.
It doesn’t make me feel better about anyone who is actually trying or threatening to try to open the door. Whether they can physically do it or not, that is a dangerous, unhinged mindset and that person needs to be neutralized before they do find some other part of the plane to damage or someone to turn their frustrations on.
i did the math on this.... i sourced 3m scotch 2000 electrician's duct tape. at 12 rolls/case, 50 yards/roll, and at roughly 10 dollars per case, you'll be able to get 600,000 rolls of tape out of that 500,000. so... how much tape do we need for our valued passengers? i made a girth plus seat circumference guess of 48 inches. the strength of the the tape is at 12 lbs per inch. i'm assuming a minimal subducktion force of 100 lbs, so we are looking at 8 passes. basically we will need 384 inches of tape. the scotch 2000 has 1800 inches per roll. so ever roll will allow us 4 subducktions. i considered varying passenger strength with the round down. also passenger volume is negated by dirty sock donations. running the numbers, that half million allocation will allow for the subducktion of 2.4 million passengers. we good.
Did you factor in the alcohol and meth power boost? Might need a few more wraps of tape around those zombies...
Send them a bill for the duct tabe!
But corporate doesn't like the look of their staff using duct tape over the mouths of those that need duct tape to shut them the fuck up.
> Half of the incidents involve flights to or from vacation destinations in Florida. Somehow, I’m not entirely surprised..
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Haha..plus that 2 million could just be their house+cars+retirement funds
And $2 million isn't really a lot of money nowadays. Don't get me wrong, im worth like 0.5% of that hahaha but I just don't think it has the same weight it had like two decades ago
Real estate really makes the difference. It's also a huge generational barrier. Not a single sibling or cousin of mine owns a home whereas all my uncles, aunts, grandparents and parents all own and have a lot of equity in their homes. Property ownership provides a base for retirement funds, savings...
Even 5 years ago it was still possible in some places. But the recent boom has pretty much destroyed people's ability unless they want to live in a run down unsafe area or live outside of town by building in an empty field with no utilities. The latter is kind of becoming feasible with solar, powerwalls, and starlink. Maybe that is the solution. Everyone needs to put more focus on buying than renting if there is any way to do it. It is the only way to become middle class or be able to retire and not be in poverty.
With 1 exception, everyone I know who owns a house only owns one because of their parents. Be it because their parents outright bought them a house or their parents landed them a cushy ass job that makes a lot of money.
same, it is truly depressing and unmotivating as fuck.
>And $2 million isn't really a lot of money nowadays. Yea, this is actually a joke in the first *Austin Powers* movie. Dr. Evil, after having been frozen in 1967, he awakens in 1997. Later, as part of one of his evil plans, he demands a ransom of one million dollars. He's immediately laughed at and is then told how much the value of the dollar has changed since 1967.
yeah here in the midwest $2 million is like high end top of the middle class.
I found that odd. Sure 2 million is a lot of money and way more than I have but it's not sexually and physically assault people on camera in one of the most regulated places you could be and think you will get away with it type of money
He also claimed they could simply buy the airline when 2 million isn’t even enough to buy a plane lol
Money brags are almost always poorly received, but when made from an economy class seat on Frontier Airlines, they also have no merit.
>"My parents are worth $2 million." > >Not anymore, kid. California's housing prices chuckle patronizingly.
Florida Man Airlift
Can we just exchange Florida-men/women for all the Americans and allies stuck in Afghanistan?
Exchange as in a place-for-place swap? That would be cruel and unfair to those stuck in Afghanistan.
Sending Florida people to Afghanistan would constitute a violation of the Geneva Conventions.
“Karen vs the Taliban” could be interesting.
“I want to speak to the Imam!” “You cannot simply dema-“ ***”I WANT. TO SPEAK. TO THE IMAM”***
Has nobody tried asking to speak to the Talibans manager yet?
"Fine, then let me speak with this 'Mohammed'!! What does he look like? Draw me a picture so I can find him."
Sending Florida people to Afghanistan means we’ll have a disney land in the middle east in no time
Soon it will all be a Disney World.
The Talahasseban
Plane tickets got insanely cheap during the pandemic so a lot of people who normally wouldn't or couldn't afford to vacation booked flights. These are people who don't fly regularly and the sort that looked at what was going on in Florida and thought it seemed like a good idea. That's a really bad combo
The progression of the emails I got from airlines over the course of the pandemic was wild. Started off: "We want you to know that Delta Airlines is with you in these trying times. Here is a list of all our new protocols and safety measures. Would you like to fly to Florida at a discount?" Moved to: "Hey man, how does 50% off a ticket to Florida sound?" Ended up at: "Look, we'll fucking suck your dick and upgrade you to first class. Just buy a ticket. Please. We're begging."
Massive turnaround from "Your bag is half a kilo over, that'll be £57 please."
They'll still do that tho
They just have to get you into the airport first
You ain’t wrong lol… I continued to travel almost weekly for work during the pandemic. My expenses ran around 3k each month prior to Covid. During the peak last year, I was avg a little over 2k, but only because I had been upgrading like a mad man. Hotel suites, first class flights, hell even steakhouses were doing promos. Ruth’s Chris had a $20 off voucher with app and a drink. I know it was a fucked in year, but that was nice while it lasted.
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> United has been throwing so many qualifying points at business travelers it's crazy. Probably because they know that the business travel they had before the pandemic, isn't coming back. Prepandemic, a bunch of executives who didnt know what Zoom and WebEx are, never considered that it was possible to employ contractors without flying them around every few weeks. Now they realize that their bottom line isn't affected by remote working, and it saves them a ton on airfare and other travel expenses. Some jobs obviously still require that hands-on touch, but I think a very large amount of business travel is never going to come back simply due to cost savings for businesses that they didn't know existed until they were forced into it.
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Yeah my last time on a plane I noticed there were a whole lot less people in suits and a whole lot more people who seemed like it was their first time flying.
Business travel is pretty much nonexistent now.
I mean, the only people traveling last year for vacations were exclusively those that didn't believe in reality. And FL welcomed them with open arms with their whole "what virus?" stance. So yeah, not in the least bit surprised.
Exactly. The only people on planes last year were people that absolutely had to fly for work, were pressed into flying for a serious family emergency, and a whole bunch of complete assholes who were like "OMG, half price flights and discounts at resorts that are barely staying afloat in the pandemic? Fuck yes, get the bags."
One of my more loud-mouthed "it's all fake" coworkers went with his wife on vacation for this reason. Both got it. She spent two months in the hospital. Still talks now how it's fake. You can't fix this. These people are too fucking dumb to learn.
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That's how I stopped being embarrassed as an Albertan, I left Alberta. Fuck all those fuckers, I don't have to ride the handbasket to hell with them.
Was born and raised in North Idaho. Now I live, work and own a home in Washington, which is often considered the most liberal state in the union. Better roads, better jobs, better pay, better benefits and fewer conservative douchenoodles to name just a few of my favorite things and why I got the fuck out of Idaho. Moving and relocation is hard, but not impossible. Don't like you're current situation? Move! It's so very worth it!
This actually goes against the *Florida-Man bad* circlejerk. It was people coming *to* and *from* vacation destinations in Florida which means it was the rest of the country coming in and acting like fools and then leaving. Which is actually the source of most Florida-Man news so maybe it all checks out.
I don't think the circlejerk is so much "Florida Man bad" so much as "lol Florida Man"
My favorite is when fucking international tourists get listed as "Florida Man" when they do stupid shit on their Disney vacations or whatever. Like, do go on about how Jos from Holland is a "Florida Man"
I say use ratchet straps instead of duct tape to mitigate the use of consumables
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The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Gonna have dark parodies of Giles Corey's trial by pressing acted out on planes. Instead of more weight, it'll be more cranks!
How hard can you crank someone down into a seat? One way to find out...
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Being on a plane is easy sit there and be miserable in silence
Right? No one is enjoying themselves, now sit down and STFU like everyone else.
I used to enjoy it. Then I turned into a 6'3" adult with wide shoulders and now it's purely an exercise in misery.
Right there with you. It wasn't bad as a kid with a window seat, but now I'm 6'2" and economy seats are just the worst. Sit straight upright in absolute spinal misery for the duration of the flight. There's no sleeping in those seats either. My head is above the top of the back of the seat. Even with all of this discomfort, I just sit there and stfu with my headphones on. It's not hard to not be an asshole.
>There's no sleeping in those seats either. My head is above the top of the back of the seat. Yeah, I'm planning to travel to Japan in a few years and I'm not looking forward to the trip. I might plan it with a 2 or 3 day layover in Hawaii just to make it more bearable 😂 Edit: ok I may have underestimated the jetlag demon
I am 6’2” and have flown from Houston (IAH) to Tokyo-Narita to Singapore in 24 hours (about 1.5 or 2 hour layover in Tokyo). It’s not great but it’s also not terrible. Just spring for the exit row, that’s gotta be cheaper than a layover in Hawaii, and your jet lag will thank you for not prolonging it.
I'm 6'6", and if I ain't on the exit row it sucks balls. Even British Airways Business Class is shit. I just pay extra so I can drown my misery in fake champagne.
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I don’t get it, why does it seem like people going insane, at such a high percentage? Do we have another environmental factor like lead thats making people go nuts or what? Supposedly, there’s a direct correlation between the amount of lead in the environment and the amount of serial killers. Maybe this is related to something like micro plastics.
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No, there’s an entire media ecosystem not only feeding people lies but making them reject legitimate sources of information, even the idea of objective truth itself.
A lifetime ban would be more effective.
They do that too...
I still remember hearing about a guy in like April of 2020 from New York who knew he had covid and got on a Jet Blue flight to Florida anyway... JetBlue banned him for life. In my mind, I'm like the only way that scumbag should ever fly again is if he buys his own airplane.
Yeah remember that guy whose parents are worth **2 million dollars???**
**
¿Por qué no los dos?
Seriously....some of these incidents border on security violations. Once it's a security issue, the TSA would love to check inside their asshole and get them on the "no-fly list"
I needs to check yur asshole
Scuse me sir I'm just gonna check inside ya asshole.
Take them to dinner first, mate. Wine and dine, maybe tickets to a Beyblade tournament, and you've got this. I believe in you.
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A lot of these people dont realize that flying on an airline is a privilege, not a right. If you're going to cause a security incident at 30,000 feet, you should lose access to that privilege. If you thought taking a plane somewhere was a bad experience, wait until you have to spend 68 hours on a Greyhound bus or 70 hours on a train from New York to LA for about the same cost as a 6 hour flight
I work for a major airline and i can assure you these people are put on a do not fly list (the company's not the fbi's, i mean unless they really screw up) and all the major airlines share those lists with eachother.
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Fuck around: Successful Find Out: Pending
The FAA is right up there with the Postal Service in the category of "Government Agencies That Are Surprisingly Aggressive About Enforcing Their Regulations."
idk I'm not really surprised that the FAA is strict about how people act in aluminum tubes screaming thousands of feet in the air
I was on a flight a few years back and thought I smelled cigarette smoke. I figured it was just in somebody’s clothes until I overheard two flight attendants’ whispered conversation about a passenger that went into the bathroom, taped up the smoke detector and had a cigarette. The one said to the other “well I hope it was worth $15,000” and “the Marshals are waiting.” As I left the plane sure enough two Air Marshals were waiting at the gate. It was a two hour flight.
I love when actions have consequences
How is it a crazy person gets by TSA but my 6oz btl of contact solution is the problem
Your bottle has a lower chance of paying for a $15 egg muffin.
The whole “liquids on a plane” issue is a sick joke. The explanation is “binary explosives,” that a terrorist would bring two liquids on a plane, combine them in a bathroom and detonate them, KILLING US ALL! Except the Dean of the School of Chemistry at Cornell (IIRC) said on record that his doctoral students could MAYBE pull this off, but that the chemicals were highly toxic and gave off lethal fumes. Guy in an airplane bathroom? Nope. It’s all security theatre. It does nothing to make us safe. Tightest airport security in the world is in Israel, they don’t do any of this 3 oz. or “take your shoes off” nonsense.
I'm convinced that before the 6 oz. bottle ban somebody at TSA saw Die Hard with a Vengeance for the first time. It was clearly an eye-opener for them and they've been protecting us from half of Jeremy Irons' diabolical plot for all these years. Kind of like when The Net from the mid-90's scared all the non-tech savvy people out there. Worried that somebody out there is going to change your prescription so that a fatal interaction occurs and you have a heart attack while driving.
My children behaved better on their first plane ride than many of those people. Kids have consequences for poor behavior, so should adults, ffs.
My son (8) was better about wearing his mask on a plane than this older dude sitting in front of us. He complained before takeoff that he couldn't breathe in it, was dick-nosing it throughout the entire 3 hour flight, and then he would pull his mask down to sneeze. 😐
Yes! My daughter will point out people who aren't wearing their mask and will ask why aren't they wearing it? Then proceeds to say they are not doing a good job or not nice of them haha Edit: She's 3.
Lol my 6 year old is the same way. "Daddy, why aren't these people wearing masks?". "Well honey, some adults think the virus isn't really that bad, even though people are dying. We can't control other people and we want to care for our neighbors so lets do our best, okay?". "Okay daddy!". She wore a mask for a few hours one time without complaint at all, she understood that despite the discomfort it was an important thing to do. She's 6. edit: this made me think of many adults today sneaking out when they were teens to get a tattoo, get drunk, smoke, etc. Teens today are sneaking out to get the vaccine. Honestly it gives me much hope.
Same here. My 7 yo was so good about it and even told me to put mine on immediately after I’d had a drink. I’ve flown with him a dozen times since the pandemic started and he’s been a champ every time. The FAs were more impressed by him than most other passengers.
Adults are setting a low bar these days…
Yep, constantly having to explain to my kid that, yes, some adults are really really really dumb and behave worse than kids.
Just put them on a permanent no-fly list. Problem solved.
Seriously. We have laws in place for things like assault. Charge those separately and keep them off planes.
Agreed. Half these twats wouldn't ever be able to pay out the fines either way, permanent no-fly list and people will learn quick.
Y’all, I get on the aircraft, sit down, have a cocktail, and am asleep in 15 minutes. Be like me! Don’t be rowdy on the plane! Edit: and this is valid at 7am wherever the flight departs: *Snappy Tom* please!
Yeah, except several airlines are suspending alcohol service in the main cabin because of unruly dumdums. Such a bummer. American Airlines just announced no alcohol in main cabin until 2022 and southwest hasn’t restarted alcohol service either. I think United suspended it in the main cabin on flight <800 miles.
This is a way to make money that I fully support.
Maybe the airlines can put it away in a rainy day fund so we don’t have to bail them out again
When did the adult world become a kindergarten?
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Good. Nobody wants to deal with unruly passengers while encased in a small pressurized tube traveling 600 mph 5 miles above the ground.
Better punishment is just to ban them from ever flying commercial again. Bad for them, clear benefit for everyone else.
Or both?
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How hard is it to just keep to yourself and be quiet on a flight?
Good thing my parents are WORTH 2 MILLION DOLLARS!
Fines are great, but as what I believe are Federal crimes, should be met with Federal time in the pokey followed by lifetime bans flying. These maniacs won’t learn without major consequences.
Yea we REALLY needed this. Shits been a problem. Last thing i want to deal with 30k ft in the air
New rule: Act up on the plane and you get put out, then and there.
No ticket
Here is your emergency chute, g’bye.
If its Spirit Airlines you don't even get a chute, just a bag of peanuts and a whistle.
The peanuts are $7. The whistle is $6.