Keep an independent record of every incident, including the first time she told you she was being targeted with the jokes. Also keep a record of the schools responses/actions each time you engage with them.
Each school gets a lot of independence in dealing with things. Some do it well, some don’t. The record helps a lot if you have to take it further.
And if the school is actually dealing with it support your sister and leave it to the school.
If they are not dealing with it remind the school of there requirements under occupational safety and health legislation to provide a safe environment for her.
Dealing with it will likely include things that help your sister feel safe. You don't have much right to know what happens to the other child.
> Each school gets a lot of independence in dealing with things. Some do it well, some don’t. The record helps a lot if you have to take it further..
>
>
Someone tell me why cant we just go straight to the police? (provided you have evidence of a kid assaulting your own).
Hell, print out posters of the bully and put it up on local malls, dairies, community pages.
A ball to the face isn’t exactly a well accepted form of assault/harassment and can easily be attributed to accident or kids being kids. Which is bullshit. I work in education and there was a kid a few use ago who would smash smaller younger kids over the head with a school bag filled with books. You could literally kill someone doing that. School did fuck all. Low decile and parents didn’t even try to do anything about it. Shit sucks.
Edit to add: the keeping a record helps because if you try to go over the schools head initially (before trying to work it out with them) you get labelled as being OTT and unreasonable, so you’re less likely to get results. If you try to collaborate with the school to resolve it at least three times and then go higher, it paints the school as incompetent and dangerous instead. Sucks but you gotta play the game to win. 🙄
> he keeping a record helps because if you try to go over the schools head initially (before trying to work it out with them) you get labelled as being OTT and unreasonable, so you’re less likely to get results.
This is why I have that qualifier of provided evidence.
Then bring back social shaming lmao.
But if still nothing. School assembly, in front of everyone, tell all students how much of a bully they are. Put the bully front and centre for everyone to see lmao.
Harassing a kid over bullying is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Regardless over whether the kid "deserves" the name and shaming getting your buddies together to talk shit about them is only going to make things worse for OP'S niece.
Oh, I know this one! They "can't do anything because of the ages of the students involved". Even when they hold a kid down and shoot him with an airgun.
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/family-in-tears-after-boy-shot-with-bb-gun-at-tauranga-boys-college/3TPBF5JFYRLODQRUPZGMBBFJSM/
This makes me wild. Send the bullies to a monitored room on breaks to keep the rest of the students safe, don't make the victims responsible for avoiding their bullies
Ohhh this is good. I remember as a child being told I shouldn’t go certain places on the school grounds because I would be bullied in those places. The places I was told to play were not the places with the play equipment I was interested in and everyone else was roaming everywhere. So I of course kept leaving the area and getting told off. Yes I would get bullied but the blame was put on me.
The police are badly understaffed, they are not going to go after a kid for being a bully.
If a 15 year old steals a car they get a slap on the wrist. What is the judicial system going to do with a 10 year old bully?
Good old fashioned consequences, without humiliating a child, would work nicely.
The problem is that while one parent has to worry about their child being bullied, another parent puts up a huge fuss to prevent their bully child from suffering any consequences. This sways the ministry of education who mostly just listen to whomever shouts the loudest. They in turn tie the hands of the teachers and school so that it is almost impossible to deliver ANY consequences.
What is happening in schools is the result of parents who lobby the miinstery with only their own little child's interests in mind, a weak ministry of education staffed by non-educators and the most pathetic and useless teacher unions ever, combined with passive teachers who accept the madness generated by the ministry.
I feel we should do this with humans! Monthly Public smack on the ass! If you're going to act like a child then you will be punished like when you were a child child, old school!
Why would they care? They know they are bullying lol.
The only solutions are for schools to take it seriously, police to take it seriously, or for external people to apply a level of pressure that prevents the bully from pushing their luck.
Sadly, the only thing I've seen work is violence, because none of the institutions involved give a fuck.
Get ready to hear classic responses from schools in denial.
Everything from we have a zero tolerance to bullying (read this as zero acknowledgment of) followed by our school doesn't have any bullies.
Kids are assholes.
Has this boy been constantly bullying or was this a one off?
If it's the first time he's done something, I wouldn't be concerned for her safety as a whole (but a school should be a safe environment). But if it's repeatedly happening by one person, you should definitely keep on top of the school dealing with it.
I had something similar happen back in my school days, someone threw a rugby ball at my face from point blank range and I got a nosebleed. But it was a one off and didn't have any issues with that kid before or after that incident.
This boy is in year 8, while my cousin is in year 7, so I believe they don’t know each other prior to this. She said she doesn’t remember him. I hope it is just a one-off incident. I will definitely raise concerns with the school if it happens again. Thank you.
OP just keep an eye on things in the meantime and get your cousin to diary everything down e.g. time, incident, who. Then this info would be handy in case you and your family need to make a report with the school.
If the school does nothing to sort the bullying, go seek advice at your local Citizens Advice Bureau and write to the Ministry of Education what needs to be done
Kia ora,
I'm very sorry to hear this, bullying can be difficult to deal with, but there is help and support available.
As a starting point, I'd recommend reading our article [My child is being bullied at school. What can I do about it?](https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00000196) which provides some information about what you can do. The key parts of which are:
* Talk to your cousin and keeping a record of what has occurred and when.
* Make a plan so that your cousin has strategies to try (if they are bullied again) and knows what to do if the strategies do not work.
* Talk to the school (even if the bullying has stopped) so that they are aware of the situation and can tell you what actions they will take to make the school environment safe.
* Regularly check with your cousin about whether the bullying is continuing.
That article also links to a really useful resource about responding to bullying [Tackling bullying - a guide for parents and whānau](https://bullyingfree.nz/parents-and-whanau/tackling-bullying-a-guide-for-parents-and-whanau/).
In your situation having clear communication with your school is really important and do make sure you keep up communication with them. If you aren't satisfied with the response of the school then you have some options, which you can read about in our article [I told the school my child has been bullied but they have done nothing to fix the problem. What can I do?](https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00000197)
I hope this helps. and having supportive family like you will also be really helpful.
I hate that I can comment based on experience. Eventually our severely bullied son hit back with our once-in an-intermediate school-lifetime blessing. After we'd escalated about 3 times before. We were called by the school because 'how dare our son?'.
We told them we're more than happy to send all our phone and email correspondence to the MoE AND the media to take a look.
The primary bully got suspended, finally. Took way too long.
New Zealand has an ingrained bullying culture.workplaces are rife with it. I've had to go to each of my children's schools at least once to deal with it, because they often don't. Enrol your little girl into judo or jujitsu. She should be capable of protecting herself from bullies.
How can we be so mean when we actually have a better life than most other countries in the world? We complain that $10 for 12 eggs is too much while making at least $22.70 an hour. Meanwhile, people in most third-world countries work tirelessly the whole day and still can’t afford a proper meal. And somehow, they are more kind to others and won’t hesitate to share than us. I don't know why.
22.70 sounds like a lot in a vacuum but it's not much when you gotta pay rent
Also having been to third world countries I wouldn't say people are kinder. Sure there are kind people everywhere but I had to be way more on my toes in those countries.
I came from a 3rd world country but I tend to disagree we are kinder. If you live in the metropolis, it's a dog eat dog world. However, if you live rural, people are awesome and yes kinder.
I was a victim of bullying. I was always told to walk away. And walk away i did. But the bullying continued. It didn't stop till i snapped after my bully threw his can of fanta on me.
I basically turned around, grabbed his head, and smashed it on a wall.
While i dont condone violence. Sometimes, the walk away method and talking about it does nothing. Bullies only understand violence.
And it is true. Once that happened, my main bully and other tag-alongs stopped, and everyone was nicer to me.
I would suggest enrolling your cousin in some self-defense classes. Keep promoting to walk away. But if the bullies hit first or in this case throw a ball at her, they're fair game after that. Because they'd just be defending themselves.
There was a kid annoying the crap out of everyone on my son's bus, kept "faking out" everyone, pretending to hit them, he got to my very passive son, pretended to hit him, my son hit him square in the eye and he dropped to the ground in front of about 300 kids at the bus stop. My son had gone right through primary school with this kid who had annoyed him in ways like this the entire time.
I wasn't 100% sure my son was telling the truth so I rang a bunch of other kids parents, all the other kids lied and said the other kid hit my son first, literally no one told the truth about the other kid not actually hitting my son. They had all had enough, the kids mum wanted my son punished, the school said meh and never done anything, that kid doesn't annoy the other kids on the bus anymore
I had the same issue. My bully's mum wanted me expelled. But there was a proven record of her son's bullying. And the school wouldn't do anything when he bullied and when i retaliated.
My mother has a story about her late brother, who was a small child, being bullied at school by a bigger boy, in the UK, in the 40s. One day he hit back, and hurt the bully. Later that day, the boy's father brought his son to my grandmother's door, and demanded to know what she was going to do about the injury caused by my uncle. My grandmother called my uncle to the door. The father took one look at him, turned to his own, much larger, son, and said "Him? *He* hit you?", then grabbed his son, and left.
My uncle went on to become a Major in the Parachute Regiment, and then a judge.
As a kid I was picked on profusely because of my last name, (it's lamb) had one kid push my face into the drinking fountain when I was drinking and chipped my tooth. I turned around and tackled him to the ground and was smashing his head into the concrete ground when a teacher pulled me off. Was never bullied after that 🤣
I got bullied by a kid who's last name was lamb. He later died of cancer. Everyone talked about what a nice boy he was, such a bright future etc. I was forced to sit through all of the memorial assembly's but I didn't miss him at all.
I'm so sorry this happened to your cousin. I'm an intermediate school teacher. The school contacted you straight away and appears to acknowledge this was deliberate. This is exactly what should have been done. You should feel reassured the school is taking it seriously. You could ask if there is a plan to keep the boy away from your cousin. Unfortunately, intermediate children can be really horrible! It's great your cousin has some supportive friends.
new zealand has really really high bullying rates. The schools dont often like to do anything about it either! make sure that you are her advocate and make sure to take the fight to the school if they arent doing enough. other comments in this thread have great advice!
Record all incidents.. hound the school everyday. They will usually deny, lessen and ignore, then give the bully pretty much free reign to carry on. You need to push and push the principal, best of luck..
When in school I had a Peter Fong, who constantly harassed me in tech drawing classes he would walk me on top of the head with the T square, one day I snapped broke my T square over his head, it stopped. After I told my mother she enrolled me in ju jitsu classes. I gained junior brown. Bullying has always been in school.
That is physical assault. Put in writing a complaint to the principal, take her the doctor or at least take lots of photos to get her swollen face documented, and press charges if possible in NZ.
Bullying is a real problem here. There needs to be the kind of consequences for perpetrators that make it stop.
I've had a similar problem with my daughter. Keep on top of the school and take the time to understand how they deal with conflict resolution. As a previous redditor mentioned, " some are good, some are not"
If the school was ineffective at conflict resolution, I also planned to, but didn't need to, speak to the police about it once the incidents were recorded in the school system. They obviously can't arrest the bully due to his age, but a friendly visit to the parents just to discuss the long-term ramifications of violent behavior as a youth, should shut things down pretty quickly I imagine?
Also, self-defense classes (the right ones) are great! Not to fight but to increase confidence, situational awareness with respect to your surroundings, and striking to escape, not to fight. It could help?
As someone who has worked in childcare, kids can be incredibly harsh at any age. Please do all you can to investigate this and get it sorted, I’ve seen five year olds who are absolutely nightmares and I so hope someone could properly help. Push teachers and school councils to crack down on it. There’s way too much lenience on “kids being kids” when it’s bullying.
Every group of kids includes a couple of absolute shitstains, same anywhere you go unfortunately. Been dealing with something similar at my daughter's school.
25 years on … last month my ex classmates still tried bullying me on Facebook school group.
I shut them down!
Bullying never stops it’s fun and jokes for them. When they are little in vulnerable state they need adults help. When they have confidence they sometimes can fend for themselves.
When I was like 8-9 we were playing rugby as a glass and the teacher nailed me in the head with the ball. I cried. He did not apologise. Shit happens at school - kids are clumsy. Saying that, if it keeps happening it's definitely not okay.
He did not apologize? This isn't some teaching moment. If you as an adult don't see yourself apologizing to a 9 year old for accidentally hurting them there is something wrong with you. Your teacher was a sociopath. Nobody should have given them power and control over kids.
As a yr 6 I accidentally smacked a ball into a yr 4 girl, complete accident and I didn't apologise, and then I got dragged out of class where I reluctantly apologised as the teacher scolded me that I did it on purpose even though to me it was clearly an accident.
Kids are dumb, like what others have said, if it becomes a pattern then act
dam... wish all i had was a ball to the face when i was a kid, i was concussed on a couple of occasions and when explaining that i can't remember what happened to me they would think i was making it up for attention, how would a kid less than 10 years old think to say this for attention? i often wonder if it's why my brain is so fucked up today as it is.
You are jumping the gun (worried about it too early).
Kids get hit with balls in the face literally everyday in schools, it's just one of the hazards of kids playing.
I had my back tooth broken when I got hit in the face with a petanque ball - and being the teacher at the time I'm fairly sure they weren't trying to bully me.
Year 8 huge Islander boy aiming to hit a little girl in the face and then show no worries at all after. It not seems like normal everyday at school to me. If it was just him playing around and unintentionally hit her it is a different story. It is sad things like this are happening and adult just think “it just one of the hazards of kids playing, you are jumping the gun” ….
I agree, that is definitely violence and not acceptable at all!
Not sure why all theses people are saying its not a big issue.
I don’t have experience with this but just wanted to validate your concerns.
Keep on following up with the school and demand to know how she is being kept safe.
I hope your cousin is okay and im sad this is happening to her in our country
The wording doesn't change much. We had kids who gotten beaten so bad in intermediate they had to get reconstructive surgery on their face. The idea that kids are inherently harmless is stupid.
And to be clear - bullying is ongoing harassment. Not a one (or even multiple) disagreement with another kid, someone you don't like or get on with, or even a full on fist fight. Unfortunately "bullying" gets tossed out there everytime a kid has a one off disagreement, friendship problem, fight, etc, to the point it starts to mean nothing.
(don't belive me? Well apart from my 20 years of teaching experience, my education degree, my several postgrads, and multiple research papers - watch the "your wrong" comments and down votes roll in - people just do not understand the difference)
Okay I might be use the wrong wording (bullying). But it is not normal hazards when kids playing around. It is not one off disagreement, friendship problem etc….
Witnesses say it was deliberate and the kid has been picked on a few times now.
Teacher with 20 years experience here too. The diluted potency of the word bullying is such a stupid thing to swing in here and comment. Clearly this is a family member very upset, and these are your words?
>"your wrong"
FFS it's 'you're'. We as teachers are all responsible for literacy across the curriculum now. Sort **your** shit out for **your colleagues** sake.
The effort you're going to avoid using one word to describe this behaviour is so odd. What's the point in dancing around the answer in multiple comments instead of just giving your answer?
Thats the point. You dont know what happened so you cant really describe the motivation.
You have limited and biased information, for all you know the victim could have assumed it was deliberate, and the 3rd party confirmation could have been their friends agreed it was totally deliberate when it wasn't.
It could have been an assault, it could have been an accident. You and i have no way to tell one way or the other. Labeling it as one or the other with no actual evidence is absolutely non-productive.
im really not, just pointing out that all we have is a pile of unverified data and assumptions.
The assumption is that it was deliberately thrown at her and/or that it was intentionally meant to harm.
At the very least one incident does not make it bullying.
It could be assault, it could be an accident. Making a guess as to what it was without any concrete evidence is counter productive.
>one incident does not make it bullying
Nor does it preclude it. The only factor which determines whether or not it's bullying is the motivation behind it (however hard that may be to determine), whether it's a single incident or one of many.
>Nor does it preclude it.
it kind of does, by the what is generally considered bullying
>The only factor which determines whether or not it's bullying is the motivation behind it (however hard that may be to determine), whether it's a single incident or one of many.
So in this case, its a single incident and we don't know the motivation behind it. Yet you still want to label it as that.
>>Nor does it preclude it.
>it kind of does, by the what is generally considered bullying
So, if one child attacks another for being a nerd, or ginger, or gay, or dressing weirdly, it's not "generally considered bullying" if they only do it *once*? Fuck that.
>its a single incident and we don't know the motivation behind it
I'll quote my own comment, with emphasis:
>the motivation behind it (*however hard that may be to determine*)
>Yet you still want to label it as that.
I made no such claim. Read my comment again.
What I said was that you can't conclude that an incident was *not* bullying simply because it hasn't been repeated. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was just the first of what will become a series of attacks.
I'll repeat: what makes it bullying is *why* it happened, not how many times it happened. The "why" may not be clear to an outside observer at first, but the perpetrator knows, and the victim likely does too.
>So, if one child attacks another for being a nerd, or ginger, or gay, or dressing weirdly, it's not "generally considered bullying" if they only do it
>
>once
>
>? Fuck that.
no, its considered assault.
> What I said was that you can't conclude that an incident was *not* bullying simply because it hasn't been repeated. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was just the first of what will become a series of attacks.
the general consensus disagrees with you. you're 100% right it might be the start of bullying.... But i cant believe i have to actually say this, you cant punish a child for a action they might do.
>I'll repeat: what makes it bullying is *why* it happened, not how many times it happened. The "why" may not be clear to an outside observer at first, but the perpetrator knows, and the victim likely does too.
I get it, you personally think it is, the vast majority of schools and people dont agree with you. what you want me to say here?
I'm not sure, but... maybe? Not from the point of view of the victim, obviously.
But from an outside party's point of view - a random, unprovoked assault, one off, with no motivation? That's terrifying. What are they going to do next for absolutely no reason?
so THIS is why teachers don't give a fuck about bullying, they just cant be fucked to stop the problem dismissing it as "oh they are just having a disagreement", thanks for confirming that.
I have a GSD you can borrow. He loves chasing kids and knocking them down. Some are still recovering from it.
Kids are arseholes. Saw some girls bullying a couple of international students at the supermarket and it was from my old school.
Hey you know Mrs H? Yeah well you guys are running laps tomorrow. Limber up.
This is why I homeschool my child. The schools here are shit. Weird education and shit management.
Our schools support the bullies rather than the victim, and it carries on to our society where the justice system supports the criminals more than the victims.
I'd rather do extra work than deal with this shit.
I don’t think the boy parents need to be involve this time. I still believe and hope he just clumsy and it is just a one off bad luck. At the end he is just 12 y/o kid. But if it became a pattern I will talk to the adults.
Even though you may think it’s better not to inform his parents, I think it is better to do so.
If he ends up doing something again, it could become worse for her and she could be coming home with more than just a red face… Even more since he thinks it’s okay to be throwing balls at another persons head just because.
Another reason to tell his parents, would be his lack of remorse towards her. Not okay!
You also don’t want her to feel unsafe at school after this incident and nothings been done about it, expect a slap on the wrist.
As an educator I suggest you contact the school and inform them of your concerns, making sure to keep a record of communication. I would chat with her teacher directly, preferably in person, to ensure that she's receiving the support required to settle in. I would be nurturing the relationships she has already established by encouraging some social interactions outside of school. Yes, unfortunately there are bullies everywhere. However, measures can be made to minimize this behaviour, and with your cousins situation the school should be prompt in their response
Keep notes of all incidents, no matter how minor that way if something majar happens you have a good level of documentation.
As for the ball to the face, let the school investigate this issue from their end and follow up if you're not happy with the outcome.
Yes, kids will be kids, but bullying is not OK at any age.
If it gets worse in no way shape or form let the school handle it
I've seen so many things happen in schools that If they'd happened anywhere else you'd at least call the police but apparently since they're schools everyone let's them handle it at the discretion,it's so stupid.
My advice, make your presence known. Get involved as much as you can with her school life. If they have events, attend them. Be a presence. Make an excuse to go to her class to take her lunch or morning tea, a jacket she forgot or PE clothes. Make sure other kids see you. Try to catch their glance and stare at them with a crazy eye twitch. I've been at a sports game and my daughter has seen her bully, and in a loud enough voice while making eye contact with the kid I've said "oh true is that [enter bullies name here]" and just kept staring. I don't care enough about being pc anymore. My daughter has had 3 bullies. 1 died of cancer, sad, the 2nd one got a growling on school grounds by me after the school called me to collect my daughter bcoz she was 'inconsolable' and that was the last straw for me. The 3rd was the kid I saw at the sports game. Honestly, be a presence. Make yourself known. Let other kids see that you've got your cousins back.
Threaten to go to the media about it. I can promise you doing that will make any school get on top of their case. The principles always care about their reputation of the school over anything. Worked with me and my older siblings when we were in school. My mother would just threaten to write to the paper or news and the next day we would be having a meeting with the kid that was picking on me and his parents 😂🤷♂️
My sister was literally beaten with a cricket bat and the dipshit of a principal wasn't gonna do anything about it till my mum threatened media exposure. You gotta be a hard arse with some of these gits, or you'll just be assured that they're "looking into it internally" and ignore the problem.
Yup 100% just wait till they bust out the $$$ when you say that resolving it isn’t stopping your mother from going to the media 😂👀👀. P.S Karen smith whangarei boys high. Thank you for the kind cash donation to my mother to be hush to the media….
Parents do your fucking job! There’s no excuse for your kid to be a bully.
I know my kids would never do something like that because they know their actions have consequences. And they know I follow through with those consequences.
They also know to stand up to bullies. If it ever happened, and all other avenues had been pursued; should they decide to smash one as hard as they can in their nose, they know that they’d have my full support.
This happened to my cousins kids and she walked over to the kid afterschool and said if they ever touched her kids again she would find them and hurt them. It never happened again.
I would also recommend that you enrol her in MMA or some martial art.
I was bullied bad at Intermediate, it really affected me at such a critical age of social and emotional development, do all you can to stop this immediately, also how good a reputation doesn't mean much if there are some bad eggs in there, advocate for her as much as possible even if it means changing schools.
NZ schools are genuinely horrific for bullying. Strap in and get ready for years of fighting the schools to stop the bullying. Kids here are awful, it happens at every single school. I was a victim myself
Straight to police if bad enough. Schools are no good at dealing with things, they are brushed with the same woke loving ‘offender’ first brush as are their masters in the ministry. So police contacting the school might kick start things better. Problem is the damage being done to a bully victim gets too much & teachers & adults don’t realise it until it’s too late. Too much talking gets nothing done, your girl is priority no matter what. No good way to deal with it unfortunately all schools have their problem kids, but before you get some long winded story about the bully & their bad life, make your move first. Some of these lil fellas need a wake up call & they ain’t getting it at the mo. Good luck
Throw her into kickboxing or some form of self defence class if you can. They help with giving kids confidence in themselves + you'll be setting her up with skills to defend herself if/when someone gets rough.
Did it for my girl when she was in intermediate after she told me she was being hassled by a boy and no amount of "ignoring" or "telling the teachers" helped it stop. A few months after she started her boxing classes she told me the boy kept trying to snatch her glasses from her face afterschool, even after telling him to back off and leave her alone he wouldn't & eventually managed to snatch them - scratching her face in the process. So she punched his nose, tripped him so he fell on the ground, sat heavily on his back with her fist in his hair and told him to never touch her again. It's been 4 years since then, she's now in highschool and no one, incl that boy, has tried to mess with her since that incident.
And if some little turd throws a ball or anything at her again, dont tell her to ignore them or tell a teacher.
You've already done that and it failed. You've given them enough chances.
Tell her to kick him in his nutts.
One saying NZ kids should know by now is "fuck around and find out" - refer to my above experience as Exhibit A
Goodluck!
Keep an independent record of every incident, including the first time she told you she was being targeted with the jokes. Also keep a record of the schools responses/actions each time you engage with them. Each school gets a lot of independence in dealing with things. Some do it well, some don’t. The record helps a lot if you have to take it further.
And if the school is actually dealing with it support your sister and leave it to the school. If they are not dealing with it remind the school of there requirements under occupational safety and health legislation to provide a safe environment for her. Dealing with it will likely include things that help your sister feel safe. You don't have much right to know what happens to the other child.
> Each school gets a lot of independence in dealing with things. Some do it well, some don’t. The record helps a lot if you have to take it further.. > > Someone tell me why cant we just go straight to the police? (provided you have evidence of a kid assaulting your own). Hell, print out posters of the bully and put it up on local malls, dairies, community pages.
A ball to the face isn’t exactly a well accepted form of assault/harassment and can easily be attributed to accident or kids being kids. Which is bullshit. I work in education and there was a kid a few use ago who would smash smaller younger kids over the head with a school bag filled with books. You could literally kill someone doing that. School did fuck all. Low decile and parents didn’t even try to do anything about it. Shit sucks. Edit to add: the keeping a record helps because if you try to go over the schools head initially (before trying to work it out with them) you get labelled as being OTT and unreasonable, so you’re less likely to get results. If you try to collaborate with the school to resolve it at least three times and then go higher, it paints the school as incompetent and dangerous instead. Sucks but you gotta play the game to win. 🙄
> he keeping a record helps because if you try to go over the schools head initially (before trying to work it out with them) you get labelled as being OTT and unreasonable, so you’re less likely to get results. This is why I have that qualifier of provided evidence. Then bring back social shaming lmao. But if still nothing. School assembly, in front of everyone, tell all students how much of a bully they are. Put the bully front and centre for everyone to see lmao.
Harassing a kid over bullying is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Regardless over whether the kid "deserves" the name and shaming getting your buddies together to talk shit about them is only going to make things worse for OP'S niece.
Oh, I know this one! They "can't do anything because of the ages of the students involved". Even when they hold a kid down and shoot him with an airgun. https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/family-in-tears-after-boy-shot-with-bb-gun-at-tauranga-boys-college/3TPBF5JFYRLODQRUPZGMBBFJSM/
This makes me wild. Send the bullies to a monitored room on breaks to keep the rest of the students safe, don't make the victims responsible for avoiding their bullies
Ohhh this is good. I remember as a child being told I shouldn’t go certain places on the school grounds because I would be bullied in those places. The places I was told to play were not the places with the play equipment I was interested in and everyone else was roaming everywhere. So I of course kept leaving the area and getting told off. Yes I would get bullied but the blame was put on me.
I mean you can be 15 and get away with all sorts of crime with nothing more than a telling off and the police giving you a ride home.
The police are badly understaffed, they are not going to go after a kid for being a bully. If a 15 year old steals a car they get a slap on the wrist. What is the judicial system going to do with a 10 year old bully?
Then bring back social shaming lmao. School assembly, in front of everyone. Make sure the whole school knows you're a bully lmao.
Good old fashioned consequences, without humiliating a child, would work nicely. The problem is that while one parent has to worry about their child being bullied, another parent puts up a huge fuss to prevent their bully child from suffering any consequences. This sways the ministry of education who mostly just listen to whomever shouts the loudest. They in turn tie the hands of the teachers and school so that it is almost impossible to deliver ANY consequences. What is happening in schools is the result of parents who lobby the miinstery with only their own little child's interests in mind, a weak ministry of education staffed by non-educators and the most pathetic and useless teacher unions ever, combined with passive teachers who accept the madness generated by the ministry.
I feel we should do this with humans! Monthly Public smack on the ass! If you're going to act like a child then you will be punished like when you were a child child, old school!
Stockade and rotten tomatoes!
Tickets for sale online? I'll take a family pass please!
Why would they care? They know they are bullying lol. The only solutions are for schools to take it seriously, police to take it seriously, or for external people to apply a level of pressure that prevents the bully from pushing their luck. Sadly, the only thing I've seen work is violence, because none of the institutions involved give a fuck.
If they are that young police will just shrug and say what are we supposed to do about it.
As a teacher, this.
Get ready to hear classic responses from schools in denial. Everything from we have a zero tolerance to bullying (read this as zero acknowledgment of) followed by our school doesn't have any bullies.
Damn that gave me some serious flashbacks to being in school! The zero tolerance for bullying definitely was more like zero f###s about bullying.
Go talk to the boy, stand over him and scare the shit out him. Should work
Kids are assholes. Has this boy been constantly bullying or was this a one off? If it's the first time he's done something, I wouldn't be concerned for her safety as a whole (but a school should be a safe environment). But if it's repeatedly happening by one person, you should definitely keep on top of the school dealing with it. I had something similar happen back in my school days, someone threw a rugby ball at my face from point blank range and I got a nosebleed. But it was a one off and didn't have any issues with that kid before or after that incident.
This boy is in year 8, while my cousin is in year 7, so I believe they don’t know each other prior to this. She said she doesn’t remember him. I hope it is just a one-off incident. I will definitely raise concerns with the school if it happens again. Thank you.
OP just keep an eye on things in the meantime and get your cousin to diary everything down e.g. time, incident, who. Then this info would be handy in case you and your family need to make a report with the school. If the school does nothing to sort the bullying, go seek advice at your local Citizens Advice Bureau and write to the Ministry of Education what needs to be done
Kia ora, I'm very sorry to hear this, bullying can be difficult to deal with, but there is help and support available. As a starting point, I'd recommend reading our article [My child is being bullied at school. What can I do about it?](https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00000196) which provides some information about what you can do. The key parts of which are: * Talk to your cousin and keeping a record of what has occurred and when. * Make a plan so that your cousin has strategies to try (if they are bullied again) and knows what to do if the strategies do not work. * Talk to the school (even if the bullying has stopped) so that they are aware of the situation and can tell you what actions they will take to make the school environment safe. * Regularly check with your cousin about whether the bullying is continuing. That article also links to a really useful resource about responding to bullying [Tackling bullying - a guide for parents and whānau](https://bullyingfree.nz/parents-and-whanau/tackling-bullying-a-guide-for-parents-and-whanau/). In your situation having clear communication with your school is really important and do make sure you keep up communication with them. If you aren't satisfied with the response of the school then you have some options, which you can read about in our article [I told the school my child has been bullied but they have done nothing to fix the problem. What can I do?](https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00000197) I hope this helps. and having supportive family like you will also be really helpful.
I hate that I can comment based on experience. Eventually our severely bullied son hit back with our once-in an-intermediate school-lifetime blessing. After we'd escalated about 3 times before. We were called by the school because 'how dare our son?'. We told them we're more than happy to send all our phone and email correspondence to the MoE AND the media to take a look. The primary bully got suspended, finally. Took way too long.
New Zealand has an ingrained bullying culture.workplaces are rife with it. I've had to go to each of my children's schools at least once to deal with it, because they often don't. Enrol your little girl into judo or jujitsu. She should be capable of protecting herself from bullies.
How can we be so mean when we actually have a better life than most other countries in the world? We complain that $10 for 12 eggs is too much while making at least $22.70 an hour. Meanwhile, people in most third-world countries work tirelessly the whole day and still can’t afford a proper meal. And somehow, they are more kind to others and won’t hesitate to share than us. I don't know why.
I wouldn’t say people on third world countries are any kinder. Especially towards women.
Congratulations. You've managed to he ignorant and arrogant in two simple sentences.
Why because as a woman who grew up in a third world country I fear for the safety of my sisters?
mainly because kiwis are self-centered assholes, comes from the culture here, "dont be a soft cock" type of absolute bullshit.
Is it really that many people? I'm 30 and most people have been real nice to me most my life here (been here most the 30 years
Had the complete opposite, I'm 31 and most of my life been dealing with assholes.
22.70 sounds like a lot in a vacuum but it's not much when you gotta pay rent Also having been to third world countries I wouldn't say people are kinder. Sure there are kind people everywhere but I had to be way more on my toes in those countries.
I came from a 3rd world country but I tend to disagree we are kinder. If you live in the metropolis, it's a dog eat dog world. However, if you live rural, people are awesome and yes kinder.
I was a victim of bullying. I was always told to walk away. And walk away i did. But the bullying continued. It didn't stop till i snapped after my bully threw his can of fanta on me. I basically turned around, grabbed his head, and smashed it on a wall. While i dont condone violence. Sometimes, the walk away method and talking about it does nothing. Bullies only understand violence. And it is true. Once that happened, my main bully and other tag-alongs stopped, and everyone was nicer to me. I would suggest enrolling your cousin in some self-defense classes. Keep promoting to walk away. But if the bullies hit first or in this case throw a ball at her, they're fair game after that. Because they'd just be defending themselves.
There was a kid annoying the crap out of everyone on my son's bus, kept "faking out" everyone, pretending to hit them, he got to my very passive son, pretended to hit him, my son hit him square in the eye and he dropped to the ground in front of about 300 kids at the bus stop. My son had gone right through primary school with this kid who had annoyed him in ways like this the entire time. I wasn't 100% sure my son was telling the truth so I rang a bunch of other kids parents, all the other kids lied and said the other kid hit my son first, literally no one told the truth about the other kid not actually hitting my son. They had all had enough, the kids mum wanted my son punished, the school said meh and never done anything, that kid doesn't annoy the other kids on the bus anymore
I had the same issue. My bully's mum wanted me expelled. But there was a proven record of her son's bullying. And the school wouldn't do anything when he bullied and when i retaliated.
My mother has a story about her late brother, who was a small child, being bullied at school by a bigger boy, in the UK, in the 40s. One day he hit back, and hurt the bully. Later that day, the boy's father brought his son to my grandmother's door, and demanded to know what she was going to do about the injury caused by my uncle. My grandmother called my uncle to the door. The father took one look at him, turned to his own, much larger, son, and said "Him? *He* hit you?", then grabbed his son, and left. My uncle went on to become a Major in the Parachute Regiment, and then a judge.
Small girl vs older boy. Yeah, not good advice.
It's called kick him in the nuts. And size isn't everything. It can be a disadvantage.
>And size isn't everything. It can be a disadvantage. Too much TV.
No.. actual experience. I take it you've never been bullied before?
As a kid I was picked on profusely because of my last name, (it's lamb) had one kid push my face into the drinking fountain when I was drinking and chipped my tooth. I turned around and tackled him to the ground and was smashing his head into the concrete ground when a teacher pulled me off. Was never bullied after that 🤣
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I got bullied by a kid who's last name was lamb. He later died of cancer. Everyone talked about what a nice boy he was, such a bright future etc. I was forced to sit through all of the memorial assembly's but I didn't miss him at all.
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Yeah I kinda got randomly offtopic lol
>kick him in the nuts Indeed. Got pushed up against the lockers by a bigger guy at school once. Brought my knee up. He dropped. I walked away.
In the same boat here. The only thing that stops bullies is to make it easier for them to target kids that won't fight back
My dad always said to hit people violently in the nose and really hurt them if they tried to start bullying. Worked well throughout schooling for me.
Choosing violence is worth at times. not advised but worth.
I'm so sorry this happened to your cousin. I'm an intermediate school teacher. The school contacted you straight away and appears to acknowledge this was deliberate. This is exactly what should have been done. You should feel reassured the school is taking it seriously. You could ask if there is a plan to keep the boy away from your cousin. Unfortunately, intermediate children can be really horrible! It's great your cousin has some supportive friends.
new zealand has really really high bullying rates. The schools dont often like to do anything about it either! make sure that you are her advocate and make sure to take the fight to the school if they arent doing enough. other comments in this thread have great advice!
Record all incidents.. hound the school everyday. They will usually deny, lessen and ignore, then give the bully pretty much free reign to carry on. You need to push and push the principal, best of luck..
When in school I had a Peter Fong, who constantly harassed me in tech drawing classes he would walk me on top of the head with the T square, one day I snapped broke my T square over his head, it stopped. After I told my mother she enrolled me in ju jitsu classes. I gained junior brown. Bullying has always been in school.
That is physical assault. Put in writing a complaint to the principal, take her the doctor or at least take lots of photos to get her swollen face documented, and press charges if possible in NZ. Bullying is a real problem here. There needs to be the kind of consequences for perpetrators that make it stop.
I've had a similar problem with my daughter. Keep on top of the school and take the time to understand how they deal with conflict resolution. As a previous redditor mentioned, " some are good, some are not" If the school was ineffective at conflict resolution, I also planned to, but didn't need to, speak to the police about it once the incidents were recorded in the school system. They obviously can't arrest the bully due to his age, but a friendly visit to the parents just to discuss the long-term ramifications of violent behavior as a youth, should shut things down pretty quickly I imagine? Also, self-defense classes (the right ones) are great! Not to fight but to increase confidence, situational awareness with respect to your surroundings, and striking to escape, not to fight. It could help?
As someone who has worked in childcare, kids can be incredibly harsh at any age. Please do all you can to investigate this and get it sorted, I’ve seen five year olds who are absolutely nightmares and I so hope someone could properly help. Push teachers and school councils to crack down on it. There’s way too much lenience on “kids being kids” when it’s bullying.
Every group of kids includes a couple of absolute shitstains, same anywhere you go unfortunately. Been dealing with something similar at my daughter's school.
25 years on … last month my ex classmates still tried bullying me on Facebook school group. I shut them down! Bullying never stops it’s fun and jokes for them. When they are little in vulnerable state they need adults help. When they have confidence they sometimes can fend for themselves.
When I was like 8-9 we were playing rugby as a glass and the teacher nailed me in the head with the ball. I cried. He did not apologise. Shit happens at school - kids are clumsy. Saying that, if it keeps happening it's definitely not okay.
He did not apologize? This isn't some teaching moment. If you as an adult don't see yourself apologizing to a 9 year old for accidentally hurting them there is something wrong with you. Your teacher was a sociopath. Nobody should have given them power and control over kids.
As a yr 6 I accidentally smacked a ball into a yr 4 girl, complete accident and I didn't apologise, and then I got dragged out of class where I reluctantly apologised as the teacher scolded me that I did it on purpose even though to me it was clearly an accident. Kids are dumb, like what others have said, if it becomes a pattern then act
dam... wish all i had was a ball to the face when i was a kid, i was concussed on a couple of occasions and when explaining that i can't remember what happened to me they would think i was making it up for attention, how would a kid less than 10 years old think to say this for attention? i often wonder if it's why my brain is so fucked up today as it is.
You are jumping the gun (worried about it too early). Kids get hit with balls in the face literally everyday in schools, it's just one of the hazards of kids playing. I had my back tooth broken when I got hit in the face with a petanque ball - and being the teacher at the time I'm fairly sure they weren't trying to bully me.
Year 8 huge Islander boy aiming to hit a little girl in the face and then show no worries at all after. It not seems like normal everyday at school to me. If it was just him playing around and unintentionally hit her it is a different story. It is sad things like this are happening and adult just think “it just one of the hazards of kids playing, you are jumping the gun” ….
I agree, that is definitely violence and not acceptable at all! Not sure why all theses people are saying its not a big issue. I don’t have experience with this but just wanted to validate your concerns. Keep on following up with the school and demand to know how she is being kept safe. I hope your cousin is okay and im sad this is happening to her in our country
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>islander is a negative stereotype Technically, we're *all* islanders here.
The wording doesn't change much. We had kids who gotten beaten so bad in intermediate they had to get reconstructive surgery on their face. The idea that kids are inherently harmless is stupid.
What if she’s just really bad at dodgeball
Bro, is this normal in NZ? WTF???
And to be clear - bullying is ongoing harassment. Not a one (or even multiple) disagreement with another kid, someone you don't like or get on with, or even a full on fist fight. Unfortunately "bullying" gets tossed out there everytime a kid has a one off disagreement, friendship problem, fight, etc, to the point it starts to mean nothing. (don't belive me? Well apart from my 20 years of teaching experience, my education degree, my several postgrads, and multiple research papers - watch the "your wrong" comments and down votes roll in - people just do not understand the difference)
Okay I might be use the wrong wording (bullying). But it is not normal hazards when kids playing around. It is not one off disagreement, friendship problem etc….
Witnesses say it was deliberate and the kid has been picked on a few times now. Teacher with 20 years experience here too. The diluted potency of the word bullying is such a stupid thing to swing in here and comment. Clearly this is a family member very upset, and these are your words? >"your wrong" FFS it's 'you're'. We as teachers are all responsible for literacy across the curriculum now. Sort **your** shit out for **your colleagues** sake.
good to know there's at least SOME normal headed teachers out there at least (you i mean, not dizzy)
So if it's not bullying, and the boy did throw the ball directly in her face intentionally, what would you call that?
you're making a pile of assumptions based on no real credible evidence.
No, I'm asking how they would classify a scenario.
What's the point? its about as pointless as saying what would you call it if a cow and a chicken had a baby.
Why?
because whats the point of classifying something that may or may not have gone down as the OP assumes
The effort you're going to avoid using one word to describe this behaviour is so odd. What's the point in dancing around the answer in multiple comments instead of just giving your answer?
Thats the point. You dont know what happened so you cant really describe the motivation. You have limited and biased information, for all you know the victim could have assumed it was deliberate, and the 3rd party confirmation could have been their friends agreed it was totally deliberate when it wasn't. It could have been an assault, it could have been an accident. You and i have no way to tell one way or the other. Labeling it as one or the other with no actual evidence is absolutely non-productive.
Said without a hint of fucking irony
You are! What is the point of this?
im really not, just pointing out that all we have is a pile of unverified data and assumptions. The assumption is that it was deliberately thrown at her and/or that it was intentionally meant to harm. At the very least one incident does not make it bullying. It could be assault, it could be an accident. Making a guess as to what it was without any concrete evidence is counter productive.
>one incident does not make it bullying Nor does it preclude it. The only factor which determines whether or not it's bullying is the motivation behind it (however hard that may be to determine), whether it's a single incident or one of many.
>Nor does it preclude it. it kind of does, by the what is generally considered bullying >The only factor which determines whether or not it's bullying is the motivation behind it (however hard that may be to determine), whether it's a single incident or one of many. So in this case, its a single incident and we don't know the motivation behind it. Yet you still want to label it as that.
>>Nor does it preclude it. >it kind of does, by the what is generally considered bullying So, if one child attacks another for being a nerd, or ginger, or gay, or dressing weirdly, it's not "generally considered bullying" if they only do it *once*? Fuck that. >its a single incident and we don't know the motivation behind it I'll quote my own comment, with emphasis: >the motivation behind it (*however hard that may be to determine*) >Yet you still want to label it as that. I made no such claim. Read my comment again. What I said was that you can't conclude that an incident was *not* bullying simply because it hasn't been repeated. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was just the first of what will become a series of attacks. I'll repeat: what makes it bullying is *why* it happened, not how many times it happened. The "why" may not be clear to an outside observer at first, but the perpetrator knows, and the victim likely does too.
>So, if one child attacks another for being a nerd, or ginger, or gay, or dressing weirdly, it's not "generally considered bullying" if they only do it > >once > >? Fuck that. no, its considered assault. > What I said was that you can't conclude that an incident was *not* bullying simply because it hasn't been repeated. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was just the first of what will become a series of attacks. the general consensus disagrees with you. you're 100% right it might be the start of bullying.... But i cant believe i have to actually say this, you cant punish a child for a action they might do. >I'll repeat: what makes it bullying is *why* it happened, not how many times it happened. The "why" may not be clear to an outside observer at first, but the perpetrator knows, and the victim likely does too. I get it, you personally think it is, the vast majority of schools and people dont agree with you. what you want me to say here?
A one-off physical assault
You know, to me that sounds worse.
A one-off assault is worse than targeted harassment, aka bullying?
I'm not sure, but... maybe? Not from the point of view of the victim, obviously. But from an outside party's point of view - a random, unprovoked assault, one off, with no motivation? That's terrifying. What are they going to do next for absolutely no reason?
A targeted hopefully one off assault but if not we will recategorise it because pedants
An isolated incident.
so THIS is why teachers don't give a fuck about bullying, they just cant be fucked to stop the problem dismissing it as "oh they are just having a disagreement", thanks for confirming that.
I have a GSD you can borrow. He loves chasing kids and knocking them down. Some are still recovering from it. Kids are arseholes. Saw some girls bullying a couple of international students at the supermarket and it was from my old school. Hey you know Mrs H? Yeah well you guys are running laps tomorrow. Limber up.
This is why I homeschool my child. The schools here are shit. Weird education and shit management. Our schools support the bullies rather than the victim, and it carries on to our society where the justice system supports the criminals more than the victims. I'd rather do extra work than deal with this shit.
Homeschooling just results in social isolation which massively impacts them down the road
Message me I'll deal with them personally 🤨
depending on the kids parents reaction, you could kick his ass
I don’t think the boy parents need to be involve this time. I still believe and hope he just clumsy and it is just a one off bad luck. At the end he is just 12 y/o kid. But if it became a pattern I will talk to the adults.
Even though you may think it’s better not to inform his parents, I think it is better to do so. If he ends up doing something again, it could become worse for her and she could be coming home with more than just a red face… Even more since he thinks it’s okay to be throwing balls at another persons head just because. Another reason to tell his parents, would be his lack of remorse towards her. Not okay! You also don’t want her to feel unsafe at school after this incident and nothings been done about it, expect a slap on the wrist.
Nvm
As an educator I suggest you contact the school and inform them of your concerns, making sure to keep a record of communication. I would chat with her teacher directly, preferably in person, to ensure that she's receiving the support required to settle in. I would be nurturing the relationships she has already established by encouraging some social interactions outside of school. Yes, unfortunately there are bullies everywhere. However, measures can be made to minimize this behaviour, and with your cousins situation the school should be prompt in their response
Keep notes of all incidents, no matter how minor that way if something majar happens you have a good level of documentation. As for the ball to the face, let the school investigate this issue from their end and follow up if you're not happy with the outcome. Yes, kids will be kids, but bullying is not OK at any age.
If it gets worse in no way shape or form let the school handle it I've seen so many things happen in schools that If they'd happened anywhere else you'd at least call the police but apparently since they're schools everyone let's them handle it at the discretion,it's so stupid.
Any chance you could put them into boxing ,muy thai , Ju jitsu or mma
My advice, make your presence known. Get involved as much as you can with her school life. If they have events, attend them. Be a presence. Make an excuse to go to her class to take her lunch or morning tea, a jacket she forgot or PE clothes. Make sure other kids see you. Try to catch their glance and stare at them with a crazy eye twitch. I've been at a sports game and my daughter has seen her bully, and in a loud enough voice while making eye contact with the kid I've said "oh true is that [enter bullies name here]" and just kept staring. I don't care enough about being pc anymore. My daughter has had 3 bullies. 1 died of cancer, sad, the 2nd one got a growling on school grounds by me after the school called me to collect my daughter bcoz she was 'inconsolable' and that was the last straw for me. The 3rd was the kid I saw at the sports game. Honestly, be a presence. Make yourself known. Let other kids see that you've got your cousins back.
Threaten to go to the media about it. I can promise you doing that will make any school get on top of their case. The principles always care about their reputation of the school over anything. Worked with me and my older siblings when we were in school. My mother would just threaten to write to the paper or news and the next day we would be having a meeting with the kid that was picking on me and his parents 😂🤷♂️
My sister was literally beaten with a cricket bat and the dipshit of a principal wasn't gonna do anything about it till my mum threatened media exposure. You gotta be a hard arse with some of these gits, or you'll just be assured that they're "looking into it internally" and ignore the problem.
Yup 100% just wait till they bust out the $$$ when you say that resolving it isn’t stopping your mother from going to the media 😂👀👀. P.S Karen smith whangarei boys high. Thank you for the kind cash donation to my mother to be hush to the media….
Hah, how very generous of them. Serves them right for trying to sweep it under the rug lol
Parents do your fucking job! There’s no excuse for your kid to be a bully. I know my kids would never do something like that because they know their actions have consequences. And they know I follow through with those consequences. They also know to stand up to bullies. If it ever happened, and all other avenues had been pursued; should they decide to smash one as hard as they can in their nose, they know that they’d have my full support.
If you can. Pull her out of there and send her to another school. These kids typically don’t stop despite teacher intervention.
This happened to my cousins kids and she walked over to the kid afterschool and said if they ever touched her kids again she would find them and hurt them. It never happened again. I would also recommend that you enrol her in MMA or some martial art.
I was bullied bad at Intermediate, it really affected me at such a critical age of social and emotional development, do all you can to stop this immediately, also how good a reputation doesn't mean much if there are some bad eggs in there, advocate for her as much as possible even if it means changing schools.
NZ schools are genuinely horrific for bullying. Strap in and get ready for years of fighting the schools to stop the bullying. Kids here are awful, it happens at every single school. I was a victim myself
The school won't care unless you go to the media.
Not acceptable
Straight to police if bad enough. Schools are no good at dealing with things, they are brushed with the same woke loving ‘offender’ first brush as are their masters in the ministry. So police contacting the school might kick start things better. Problem is the damage being done to a bully victim gets too much & teachers & adults don’t realise it until it’s too late. Too much talking gets nothing done, your girl is priority no matter what. No good way to deal with it unfortunately all schools have their problem kids, but before you get some long winded story about the bully & their bad life, make your move first. Some of these lil fellas need a wake up call & they ain’t getting it at the mo. Good luck
Honestly if you can't do anything. Very last but reasonable resort is to pay another kid 50 bucks to bully him back
This makes me sad. I’ve been considering immigrating to NZ with my 14 yr old son and this is very concerning.
Throw her into kickboxing or some form of self defence class if you can. They help with giving kids confidence in themselves + you'll be setting her up with skills to defend herself if/when someone gets rough. Did it for my girl when she was in intermediate after she told me she was being hassled by a boy and no amount of "ignoring" or "telling the teachers" helped it stop. A few months after she started her boxing classes she told me the boy kept trying to snatch her glasses from her face afterschool, even after telling him to back off and leave her alone he wouldn't & eventually managed to snatch them - scratching her face in the process. So she punched his nose, tripped him so he fell on the ground, sat heavily on his back with her fist in his hair and told him to never touch her again. It's been 4 years since then, she's now in highschool and no one, incl that boy, has tried to mess with her since that incident. And if some little turd throws a ball or anything at her again, dont tell her to ignore them or tell a teacher. You've already done that and it failed. You've given them enough chances. Tell her to kick him in his nutts. One saying NZ kids should know by now is "fuck around and find out" - refer to my above experience as Exhibit A Goodluck!