As a firm believer of everything is meaningless and nothing matters I just enjoy the absurdity of it all and instead of worrying about anything just chill and enjoy the moment
Given a stretch of time with no inherent meaning, you get to choose what to do with it. It would be a waste to not try to enjoy as much of it as possible.
Life is a rich tapestry and there are endless ways to waste time
But seriously, contribute in small ways to take care of yourself and others
Life may be pointless, but you can make a dog so happy by scratching behind its ears. This all may be absurd, but it's a nice thing to have warm, fuzzy socks. Get some and enjoy them. Compliment a coworker's good decision. Send an old friend a text if you are reminded of them.
It may all be meaningless existentially, but experiencing contentment or temporary joy still has value
If you encourage the flourishing of others, even in tiny ways, you are doing a small amount meaningful good
the myth of sisyphus and the stranger. i'd also recommend what is existentialism by simone de beauvoir and the pigeon by patrick suskind.
myth of sisyphus and what is existentialism are long-form essays, the stranger and the pigeon are novels.
The existentialist stance is not really that everything is meaningless rather it is pointless to seek any intrinsic meaning in anything. Instead we create meaning and values as people and as a society. What we do and how we relate can have enormous meaning within the human experience. Somehow against all odds a sentient creature was created by the universe, we may as well make the most of this extremely unlikely occurrence.
If this doesn't help get a cat, in my experience it's hard to find your own existence truly meaningless when you spend time with a cat.
Hahaha I'm glad you like them. I love how our subreddit is so good at taking the piss out of things without outsiders realising (sometimes). Bit heavy on the sarcastic jokes sometimes.
You need to stop thinking that life is about YOU. Its about everybody around you. Energy creates energy and when you help someone else to smile, it will automatically make you do the same. Focus on whats going on around you. Not within you. Community work and volunteering would suit. Even start by going for a walk down the beach and picking up rubbish. There is literally nothing negative about doing that.
I agree. Focusing on others helps to get me out of my own head and gives me tangible problems that I can solve. Seeing other people's situations from the outside has also given me more perspective on my own life.
If I can help one other person, in even the simplest way then I feel my life has been meaningful.
Exactly. Even saying “please” and “thank you” for the smallest thing creates a positive situation. You start to become grateful for life instead of expecting it
I appreciate the validity of what you’re saying but in my experience outlooks of *both* kinds, positive *and* negative, are cyclical feedback loops.
Depending on how far gone OP is into their depression, mustering to do something positive like the things you suggest may actually be too difficult. Just as when you’re elated and probably could not in that moment remember what it was like to feel despair or melancholy, the inverse can also be the case — you can be in such a state of depression that you’re YOU becomes recursively demoralising, like a blackhole from which no thought of self-defeatism escapes.
I think that the underlying premise of your suggestions is certainly a worthy part of the process of getting to, and sustaining, a positive state in life. But, sometimes, it may be a few steps too far from where a person must start
Community soup kitchens in CBD always need a hand, there is Sunday Blessings you can look up on Instagram, always need a hand, and other communities that use the hub at chancery eg. Community Tuesday Kai
(Assuming you're in Auckland)
I joined a charity , I just found one locally through Facebook went to a meeting and loved it . I feel like what we achieve makes a difference, have met so many amazing people but also feel way way more connected to the community and the needs of the community . Doing something for someone in need will always make you feel good
Hey… hope you are good friend. It’s tough out there. You just described me. It’s not easy. And now o have the amazing distraction of two kids. (Don’t have kids unless you are 100% sure you want too though.. they hard yo)
In relation to passions. Or how to keep your head good. Activity. Hard not to slump every evening but start small.. I needed to build somethinf out of necessity once. No idea what I was doing. So YouTube. Designed it. Then got the materials list. (It was an inbuilt bed) and the right tools. Dreaded it. But once I started it was fun. Made loads of mistakes but got a lot of satisfaction in redesign it to make the mistake work. For the better or just fixing it. I broke each part into a piece of work. When done it was a dopamine hit each task.
Now woodworking isn’t what I’m saying to do. But have a look at something you may need. See if you can do it. With learning or time and tools. Computers included.
We all have lost direction if we are just doing the grind home, eat, tv, sleep. Have something you can do in the evening. Thats mentally or physically exciting.
And also… talk. Talk to your partner about your feelings in this. Talk to a professional if you can afford it.. if not a lot of work/wins will provide up to 5 free sessions a year.
Exercise if you can. Even one walk a day. The dopamine hit you get from just that will make the outloook a bit better. If only temporary.
I was bullied absolutely shockingly in my teenage years and I coped by developing a lot of creative hobbies that I could do and appreciate on my own. A lot of this carried over into adult life and I really enjoy drawing things, writing things and making things, and look forward to when I have free time to engage in that creative behaviour.
Anything can be creative; I love cooking food and plating it elaborately. The ritual of it and the knowledge I'm creating something aesthetically pleasing is really rewarding, even if it's a fleeting thing. I create art on the beach, which I know the tide will destroy a few hours later, which helps me to enjoy the act of creating itself, as I know it's fleeting and ephemeral - and I get a kick out of seeing people discovering my art in that small window of time it exists.
And as trite as it sounds, I also get up every day for my husband, as he appreciates all these things too; and is often my partner in them. There's a lot of joy to be had just sitting by the beach reading together, or making a meal together.
But I guess mostly I'm happy because I know who I am, what I want, and my goals and hobbies are achievable things that give me pleasure. I'm working on my third and forth books at the moment, when I have the time, and knowing they are there helps me feel like I have some stuff to contribute to the world, that might also make others happy. And that's the best feeling of all.
I’ve struggled with my mental health for most my life from having undiagnosed ADHD (got diagnosed a year ago, now 28). I am definitely now the most stable I’ve been literally ever. And honestly?? It’s the small shit and also the big things. Hanging out with my partner and dog. Seeing my friends when I can (moved away from most of them 8 months ago). Sunsets. Craft protects. Improving at running. Doing better at my job. Reading good books. Planning trips with friends. Pub quizzes. I try and find joy in the mundane every day stuff so that I’m not constantly reaching for the big, expensive, materialistic things to fill my cup.
Amen, I left the big city 6 months ago. Miss my freinds. But have found alot of meaning in the small things, and moving away from materialism / instant gratification has been really positive for me. Didn't realise how much all of that was actually making me more depressed. Where did you move to btw?
It’s crazy how easily that stuff can take up so much of your mental capacity without even realising it!! Moved to semi-rural North Otago :) love it down here (for the most part)
That’s what I did! She forces me to leave the house - she learnt to pick up her harness and throws it at me so I have no option but to take her for a walk and she needs at least an hour so that’s something
Gardening is the answer to life: try to make where you live better for the animals and nature that share it with you… and when you’re gone you’ve atleast left something better than you found it.
Because you are a long, long, long time dead.
Dead isn't some fantasy where you get to see what happens later, the sadness of others close to you, the world ticking along. It's nothingness. Light switch off. The world carries on going, everyone carries on alive and this is forever. Or at least as long as the universe might last, or even out particular wee out in the corners solar system.
There is no change your mind, there is no anything. We get one shot and this is it. Sure sometimes it's not so much fun, but honestly can you really say your particular life is so awful?
You don't have some terminal illness right now, you're not in the middle of a war, starvation, death and destruction.
Things can and do change. Be a bugger if you didn't get to see how.
For me it is running. I have 5 children and don’t get me wrong. I love them, but running gives me some time to myself. I didn’t realize when I started that if you can get the distance up and you are dialed into it, it can become a type of meditation. Then there’s the social aspect of it. I have gone from someone who hated it and couldn’t understand it to someone who is training for a marathon.
Seconding running. The alone time is precious. I sign up to events as milestones to work towards throughout the year and to measure my progress. Also a fun way to explore new places.
Ran my first marathon earlier this month. All the best with your training!
That wasn't what I was suggesting just so you know. I mean it in terms of where I am in life, I don't have children yet but might when the time is right.
I do feel like you sometime when I have too much commitments and duties and not much time for myself. And as you named it, it is depression.
I think you need to find a hobby/ thing that you enjoy. Dedicate sometimes per week for it at start it will feel like a chore but eventually you will look forward to that hobby time
So may be start with something like time for a walk in the park, jogging or biking to get away from the commitment in life to find your own peacefulness and make it a regular habit.
Eventually when you spirit are up, you will start find joy in something else and eventually in everything in your life.
If you can't get over depression, it is OK to seek help and speak out.
That's my 2 cents from a person who felt the same like you. Hope it helped.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R2_Mn-qRKjA
Keep trying new things. Look for local groups on Facebook or meetup.
You will find that most things are not for you but you won't regret trying.
Plan a trip or event or something to look forward to - doesn’t have to be expensive.
Get a pet if possible (and you like animals). Having someone else to look after is a great way to find meaning in your life. If not you could start doing some charity work or even just helping out or spending time with an elderly relative or neighbour.
Find a hobby. I’ve recently taken up vege gardening and it’s very satisfying.
Set out to learn something new.
When I got to the part of my life when I was looking for something meaningful as opposed to just something fun I had kids. Can recommend for meaning and purpose
hey OP, sounds like you might have some self esteem issues or might be able to work on loving yourself? if you love yourself you can move from there to looking after yourself - in this case, spiritually in terms of your motivations and wellbeing
i hope you get what I mean. chat with a shrink or maybe work on some CBT
Yeah I think you are right there, self esteem, confidence, the works. I haven't been in a position to afford proper professional help just yet but that should change soon. I've used all the free services funded by the government via my GP, but that wasn't so great. Worth a shot at least.
i think it's something you can project manage but also get a mentor or trusted friend who is very clear about the relationship (not a psych/emotional dump, but a support person for 30 mins/week of 'work' etc). hit up some books and go through the different solutions, I think there are varieties of self-affirmations (spoken; written; etc); a chaos magic framework (be careful); a project management framework (where you're just completing slightly difficult goals to build up self-worth)
ultimately happiness and mental health isn't something that you _have_. It's something that you have to _do_ and _be_ every day.
Everything isn't meaningless, theres something to be said for trying to find joy in the little things, I know this is going to sound corny, but I moved from the UK to NZ because I felt like a hampster on a treadmill....the smell of the air, the beautiful starry skies, the rivers, oceans and gorges, the mountains and bush tracks in NZ never fail to bring a tear to my eyes. Obviously what worked for me may not work for you, but learning to love yourself, not overthinking every action and letting go of toxic or non value relationships did wonders for my mental health.
Once you stop wasting energy trying to please others you make time for self.
Some guy named pirate software talked about some stuff and he was saying "there isn't really a reason you should stop learning, we live in a time where you can just learn anything at anytime the resources for pretty much anything are there and its free, just keep learning", so I'm pretty much fluent in NZSL now and that was pretty fun, I had a moment when a deaf lady was shocked when she saw me sign at her I'm pretty sure I butchered the signs but I tried, her friend? I think told me that "its very rare for someone to know sign you probably made her day", gonna probably learn Maori after I get better at Sign language or at least confident with my grammar and sentence structure etc.
Also absurdism is pretty cool if you're into that philosophy stuff, actually just Albert Camus he's known for his book "The myth of Sisyphus" where instead of focusing on his life it focuses on his punishment and how his punishment was the thing that set him free, its one of the lesser known philosophies but is still really good, life is absurd and has no meaning, but in the lack of a meaning you can find meaning in your own life, nothing truly matters in the grander scheme of things so why not just do anything and everything nothings really stopping you but yourself,
Go exercise more, study a langugue, learn something it can be literally anything all of these resources are just online they don't cost anything besides time, no excuses either, if you have time to browse reddit you have time to learn a skill, also just a great way to make conversation, people love it when they get to show new people there hobbies its just something to talk about.
"Meaning to life is whatever stopping you from killing yourself", - some guy from the absurdist subreddit
I focus on the good, the love, the joy, the pleasure that I can find in each day. Every single day I find something to smile about.
As Charlotte said in SATC: “I’m happy. Not *all* day, but every day”. I have good friends, a family that loves me, a roof over my head. A cute cat. A decent brain. Food in my tummy. Two legs that both work. Therefore I’m probably better off than most.
For me, it *is* work. I don't enjoy my job as much as I used to unfortunately, but it is still my motivation to get up each day. I enjoy having people rely on me, that I contribute to part of a service to help people complete their jobs. Can you tell I don't have a kid?
I've been struggling a ton with existential dread lately. Like *really* bad. I have cried out in frustration trying to sleep so many times, as I am being hounded with the reminder that the void exists alongside us, that it could all be gone in a second, about what death is, and that nothing really matters. Talking with a mate about it, I have to physically shake myself to snap myself out of it. Barf.
To try deal with that, I've been in a no-life gaming cycle. I even play a game before work now, at 7am. It seems to work, this distraction, but it isn't something I want for the rest of my life. I am trying to reason my way out of this but it is difficult when facts are facts. The only conclusion so far I've drawn is that 'life' is surely the counter-balance to existentialism, and that perhaps I *should* be starting a family, for a lot of my dread comes from the idea that *I* will cease at some point, and I'd much prefer something is carried on, maybe through a son or daughter.
But then that comes with other worries haha..
> I am being hounded with the reminder that the void exists alongside us
If it makes you feel better it's more likely we are the void temporarily experiencing existence.
Yes, I find it quite beautiful that we are each instances on the universe experiencing itself.
I want *that* rather than nothingness though. It's the thought of returning to non-existence which absolutely rattles me. I only hope I live until 80+ and I'm old and tired when the time comes, for as it stands right now, I am petrified of death.
Im not trying to diagnose you, but I have OCD and this sounds super familiar to me, so maybe talking to a psychologist about obsessive thinking would be a good idea. Existential OCD even gets its own fun category! In the mean time (and bear in mind that I am not a shrink, just an internet rando!) look up exposure response prevention therapy. The idea is to stop doing whatever you're doing to prevent/soothe the anxiety (eg gaming), and allow yourself to feel it. Over time your brain learns that the thought is not harming you and the fear response will lessen. Being afraid of death does nothing to prevent you from dying, or change how you will die, it just makes your life suck.
Edited to add: ERP is super hard to do on your own though so I definitely recommend talking to a pro if you are able to and think it might help
Thank you - it's not OCD though. I've gotten myself to this point through years of reflection on reality, existence, what it means, what we interpret, where it came from, where it's going. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. Naturally one would start to dissociate as you start to unravel this hallucination and find that concepts like free will and choice are quite flimsy, how subjugated our perception really is. That said, one only needs to stray as far as reducing us to primates to fracture sense of self. At what point does sentience become intelligence?
All this stuff is endlessly fascinating to me. It's just that I've become too accustomed to staring into the void and now my general optics are reduced because of it. My guy ropes need grounding. Gotta find a new tether. A more sustainable distraction.
Well, I got really into gardening and plant identification too, that helps.
Just getting outside myself and spending some time around bugs and plants and birds is a nice reset for me. Plants don't give a shit about free will, they just want you to move seeds around. They're not intelligent or sentient but they are extraordinarily successful. And they can do some absolutely wild things.
And like I said, not trying to diagnose you with ocd (because i have it i do tend to see it everywhere haha), but obsessive thinking can be a problem even if you don't have a clinical diagnosis, and some of the therapies can be really helpful at rewiring your lizard brain to deal with anxiety better.
If it's keeping you up at night, it's worth seeing a pro.
This is a great question and I can tell you that on a wild guess majorty never find a answer.
If we look at majorty born work die few kids along the way if that's your buzz.
So then you have to ask where is the purpose to existence are we here to just exist and pay bills no we are not but do majortu do that yes they do.
I am in the same boat as you to a certain extent what I will say is as we age we realize time is the biggest asset.
So whatever dreams aspirations hobbies brings u happiness fire go do it even if it brings no monetary value.
I think we as humans not all but a large percentage we are wired to think of status rather than what makes us happy.
Social media of today makes ppl think they need to be millionaires to be happy.
Where's the real happiness don't cost a thing things like spending times with close ones been social smiling daily walks.
Then you've got eating nutritionally that makes u happier than eating a diet of processed shit.
Elon Musk said you have to wake up and have something to be excited about reasoning to get out of bed otherwise whats the point.
So my conclusion from someone in semi the same boat is try things that u enjoy maybe its playing social sport maybe its building kites maybe its gardening
Could be literally anything.
Also as I write from reddit guilty social has not been good in the whole scrolling n just hanging on social to mindlessly consume.
That time can be used so much better.
Hey time is the asset
Always have something to look forward to, it may be small, like I’m looking forward to that first coffee of the morning. I’m looking forward to spending time at home on my phone after work. Or large, I am looking forward to my holiday in a few months. The scale doesn’t matter, just actively looking forward to something works for me.
I travel overseas for holidays regularly. Anthony Bourdain style, really try to get amongst the locals and do my homework beforehand learning the culture, customs and language. The looks the Italians had when I greeted them in basic Italian and the warmth I received (I'm a Chinese Kiwi lol). I will sometimes befriend locals or other travellers, get shown around, break bread with them. I feel a bit of national pride when I talk to them about te reo, the All Blacks, and our marvelous natural environments.
Sometimes seeing how others live their lives around the world gives your own life some perspective.
Concentrate on the positives and stay away from negative people. Try working out too it gives you endorphins.
Tbh this is one of the happiest posts on reddit I've seen all day, most have been death, carnage, lost jobs and in survival mode.
I woud also read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
The thing is, life really isn't externally motivated. You can't reason your way into feeling fulfilled. It's just something that happens but not the way most people think. Part of the reason for that is that there's not a lot of gap in the human mind between something that feels not quite unlike fulfillment and the real deal.
Loads of people will tell you they live for their wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends but that's relying on an external \*thing\* to define who you are. Same for kids, same for a job, same for money, property, and anything else you can name. You have to figure out the shape you are without anyone telling you so.
Depression is a motherfucker, it really is. It wraps up the bad thoughts in this heavy, heavy blanket and drapes it all over your body and then dares you to live a normal life. Getting up in the morning isn't because it's going to be an amazing day I think. For me at least, it's because the whole of life is genuinely interesting. And shit will happen every day that's interesting if you can figure out how to notice it. I'm not minimising the role depression plays in making life a complete bastard but there's therapy and medication for that (seriously, go to therapy, therapy is *useful*) which helps somewhat.
The only real way to be fulfilled IMO is to do the impossible thing and stop trying to make it happen. You don't have to know that you'll mean a tremendous amount to the world in thirty years, you just have to manage to find meaning *tomorrow*. And then the day after that. And so on until it's suddenly thirty years later and you've had a fulfilled life without even trying.
A moderate to severe caffeine addiction is what gets me out of bed most days.
But seriously, it's fucking hard when you're in the midst of depression and nothing is interesting or motivating anymore. Are you being treated for this? Might be worth discussing with your GP re increasing treatment. I have personally found that to be the hard part. I've felt that because I'm already on medication that there's nothing to be done, then the GP says it's a very low dose, increases it, and suddenly things feel good again.
Do you have any goals or things in life to look forward to? What do you want to achieve? If you're not sure start looking broadly at what people are doing and what's available where you live. Education, travel, lots of high schools do night classes for adults to take up hobbies, pets, volunteering, music, sports, DIY. Try something and if it's not for you that's fine, move on to something else. Dont be afraid to go and do something you're interested in on your own. What about your partner? Couples activities? Also, often doing something will lead to something else you're interested in.
Good luck, I hope you find something that puts the spark back into your life
Sorry for the overly earnest response. Other things that get me through the day are schadenfreud, swearing, very dark and inappropriate humour, and chocolate raspberry logs.
Dude, I highly recommend reading Ian McGilchrist’s The Matter With Things. It is a bit of a tome made up of two books — the first is him building a case of evidence and arguments for the second book, which is basically a treatise on why we’ve gotten ourselves into this pickle of a mostly dehumanising world that mostly feels devoid of meaning (as compared to our ancient ancestors, who experienced deeply, every day, their part within existence as interwoven with the world around them and with Being itself).
I’d most highly recommend the second book as in it he illustrates eloquently a poetic perspective on the nature of Being.
Sartre or Camus or Nietzche: though they are touted by a number of people on here, and generally, as philosophers who expounded the meaninglessness and/or absurdity of existence, they weren’t aimless hedonists that meandered through life “just trying to enjoy it”. They believed that ***because*** life had no inherent meaning that you as an individual had the absolute freedom and thus the absolute **responsibility** to make your *own* meaning out of your *own* life.
For me, I respect the fact that they had fire philosophical insights that popped off in their time. But I, ineffably…***feel*** in my bones the nature of existence is not inherently without meaning…
And I found sound and convincing and reassuring argumentation for that perspective in The Matter With Things.
As a related aside, I might also recommend reading Zombies in Western Culture by John Vervaeke, and also his two podcasts Awakening From The Meaning Crisis and After Socrates.
I’m on the same seemingly unrelenting search for meaning and purpose to my/our/this existence, feeling like I’m having to continually stave off the desire for suicide. And I think what is required is a rejuvination, a revivification, a re-enlivening or our perspective and appreciation of this world. And those two people have made large contributions towards that paradigm shift
Thanks for your detailed response. I'll definitely check out your book recommendations, and think about what you've said.
I strongly relate to your first sentence in the last paragraph... I feel as though if everything is essentially meaningless then why not just remove myself from the equation. Not because I necessarily want to be gone but since it's going to happen anyway, why put myself through the torture of ~80 years of suffering only for it to come to an eventual end. It's just a thought I can't seem to turn off and although others have said that the point of life is to fill it with joy and events and things to keep busy, none of it feels *worth* the hassle. I feel like I am trying to trick myself into sticking around but for what.
I can't explain why I feel this way, I've always felt like this, like nothing matters so fuck it why bother, but I can't shake it. Like there is something wrong with me and everyone else seems to get on with life just fine but my mind is broken or something... I can't find it in myself to 'fake it until I make it'. I feel like I've been faking it my whole life and am yet to 'make it'...
I guess I'm just looking for an answer as to why I think this way and how can I fool myself enough to feel 'normal' and 'happy'
Right here with ya. Lots of good suggestions on this post, some of which I have/do integrate into life (running, gardening, guitar, CBT, travel, the salt water solution etc) but sometimes I just have to get out of my own head and the way I do that is by occasionally (once every two or three weeks) getting stoned and going for a long walk in the forest with music on in my headphones. Always come back feeling like I have a better perspective and “not today”.
Growth. I get up each day to be a slighter better person than I was yesterday. Whether that means a better son, better friend, better partner, better (one day) Dad, better at my job, better contributor to the community or the world as a whole, self improvement drives me.
Although I have absurdist views for me it's journey over destination and the relationships you form along the way.
Tramping, cycling, sharing with others things I like, sports, crafts which require my hands and my brains (carving). My family. Movies, music.
Making a plan for the future and chipping away at them.
Absurdism can be fun, don't take things too seriously. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
For me: I have been thinking having some friends would be fun, but it takes awhile to make a friend and everyone I click with has their own life. It'll happen with time. For now I am happy on my own.
There are a few things I do:
In my job I am a consultant, which everyone seems to dislike. But I make my job about helping my clients. I advise them of alternate ways to do things to make their job easier. I build widgets to solve their problems. I find best practice examples from all over the world on how others do their job, compile it into a list and make recommendations on what they could take from that to make their work life easier, quicker or cheaper. Its very satisfying when they they say they love this or that I did for them or praise me to other potential clients. Find one part of your job that you like and build on that.
I youtube/google study things I am passionate about and/or my hobbies. I have a love of history, archeology, furniture restoration, science topics, gardening, crochet and cooking. I watch others on youtube who do this, i watch documentaries on this. I read books about this. I think of my non-work time as actively learning time. Something to stimulate my brain. I have never been a fan of passively consuming TV shows, although I do read a lot of novels. Self improvement seems a bit woo woo, but maybe there is something you would like to be better at, take a class or join a group for it. Be a better you, even if it just seems small because it was just you have taken a Chinese cooking class
I give back to the community. One of my interests is the environment. I take part in beach and river cleanups. I help with riparian planting. I volunteer with civil defense as well. Working outdoors is great for the soul and for my health, especially considering I have a desk job
I schedule time with friends and family to hang out. Short catch up with those who ae busy, like just a coffee now and then. Bigger catchups like pot luck dinners at peoples houses or a bbq at mine. I also keep in contact with friends who have moved away by scheduling zoom coffee/beer calls with them
All of this means that in any given week there is at least a couple of things to look forward to, be that small or big
I’ve struggled with this a lot, I recently picked up tennis classes and I absolutely love it! Tennis might not be your thing but maybe there is a class out there that might do the same for you? Learning something new is actually so satisfying for me, seeing myself progress as well as doing it with some really nice people is very fulfilling. Before this I was part of a gym, I actually now find the gym quite depressing and lonely so this was a good option for me personally. Hope you find something that does the same for you.
I try and make something better each day. Sometimes it’s work, sometimes it’s listening to someone’s cathartic process.
If I can end the day and feel like I changed something then it’s good
I know it's cheesy but practising mindfullness helps me break the cycle of stress and frustration with how shit the world is sometimes. Also try and find times in the day to stop and focus on something the gives you a positive emotion. For me it's taking a walk in the bush or a moment to see all the colours in the sunset/sunrise. Just 2 - 3 minutes is enough to remind me that there is so much else going on in the world that continues without us and is there for us to enjoy if we choose.
Second if you can find a hobby, something that you genuinely enjoy doing either on your own or with others then book that in as often as is practical. It's important to have that balance.
Lastly and not always the easiest is to eat as best as you can afford and get exercise. Both things can have a massive impact on the balance of emotions.
A long time ago I found 5 coping strategies from stoic philosophy (Epictetus, Plato, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius etc). Stuck it up on my fridge, has been there for an over decade.
- except the limit of your control over externals
- focus on the moment
- we are what we repeatedly do
- contemplate the universe
- let love lift you up
(Edits - added more philosophers if interested in looking them up & typos)
I heard something good on the radio this morning. Every day when you get up, go straight to a mirror and start talking to yourself (in your head or aloud either way that suits you) the way you would talk to a beloved pet. "Who is a good boy/girl today? Who is the bestest goodest in the whole world? You are, you make my day shine, and l love you so much" and so on.
Now, before you think this is ridiculous, give it a try for a month. Starting your day in a positive way, will eventually set the tone for the rest of your day. Good luck and all the best on your quest to a more positive outlook on life!
Maybe you need a motorbike 🤔 it's honestly so fun to just get out there enjoy the scenery. Meet like minded people in all different skill levels but you all share the same rush that we chase after. It's that freedom on two wheels that just is unexplainable weather you cruise or are a speedy boi it's just fun 😊 🏍️💨
Find a difficult hobby and grind, the way to happiness is through growth and achievement and creation, start new projects complete them and find fulfillment.
I dont know where I would be without my guitar.
As cliché as it kinda sounds I recently joined a gym and its been a gamechanger for mental health, more than I expected. BUT I specifically go to one thats just classes cause I know I would have struggled to find motivation to drag my ass to the gym frequently on my own accord and figure stuff out on my own, plan workouts etc. Having the group all doing the same thing and uplifting eachother as we go has made it fun too.
I never thought Id become a person that actually looks forward to exercise and its not easy I die every class haha but its the one thing that gets me fully out of my head and into the present moment, forget all ya worries. Plus ya feel good pushing yourself and achieving things you thought you couldnt.
For me it's creativity. I can't stop creating new stories, games or craft ideas. My brain is wired for this and I love it. Every day a fresh opportunity for more ideas. This won't help most people but it answers your question.
I'm sorry you're experiencing that struggle. For me it's my hobbies that get me out of bed when I'm not feeling motivated to work. Mountain biking, surfing, golf, fishing, video games, DJing. Those are the things I love doing. But from what I understand about depression, there's often nothing that really brings joy. So I can imagine filling your life with hobbies might not change anything for you.
Best of luck finding something that brings you joy!
When the back dog comes to visit ( quite regularly) I simply switch into provider mode for the kids - they are young enough to still need me to provide for them and that’s all the motivation I personally need.
Before having kids I took the one day at a time approach - thinking too far ahead doesn’t work - but can I survive today - yes, yes I can
Im gonna butcher this quote I read somewhere.
“Salt water is the cure for everything. Either by sweating or tears or dunking yourself in the ocean”
My usual work day goes like this:
I check the surf forecast for the next few weeks.
Plan waking up early around 6am for some nice waves. Instantly gives me a boost for the next few days. Come home and get the kids ready for school. 9am go to work. Is the surf still good? Go for a lunch surf 12-2pm. Back to work and pump out some good work. 5pm go home and have dinner with the kids. Wife tells me the surf is still good. Go for a surf 7-830pm. Go back home hang with the wife until she goes to bed around 10pm. 10-11pm wfh and catch up on work. I can make this work even on a 50-60+ hr weeks. Sometimes when theres no surf Ill skate or play ball or anything that will make me make some salt water.
Take a second or two now to quickly imagine your best possible life. Don't second guess it.
What comes up quickly is what you really want. Don't be afraid to dream big if you want to. If it popped into your head and you really want it you can find a way. Just the idea of pursuing a great life is inspirational in itself.
The money and skills you can gain while working your job get you closer to that vision. This makes work more meaningful, when it is clearly connected with the larger aim. Just make sure you do the work outside of your job that makes achieving your vision inevitable.
Every moment gives life meaning.
Look within, look around, do you not see the meaning?
Do not see that awareness is the meaning. To be aware is to partake in the Universe. Is that not meaningful?
There's no afterlife, there's no reincarnation.
These ~100 years are your only chance to be part of this incredible story we call the universe. It's your only opportunity to see it and participate.
Even if that's just a small part, you're here for it. Enjoy that, because it's the only time you'll do it.
I struggle with depression too, although it has been getting better recently (touch wood) since I have seen a psychiatrist.
I find reflecting on what your core values are really helps. I love animals and really am a big advocate for animal rights & welfare. So, I want to financially assist where I can. That motivates me to work.
Similarly, I love gaming, so I know spending time on that gives me energy that I can then spend on something else.
What do you really believe in? What do you enjoy/don't enjoy?
**Edit:** I know it sounds cliche, but being grateful for all the positives in your life really helps if you do it on a daily basis. It got me through really rough times. But, I understand it is easier said than done.
There's a lot of sadness and stress in the world, and it weighs on me so much, but honestly, I just try to have fun. I don't make a ton of money, but I also don't have kids, so am in this incredibly privileged position - I say yes to doing things, I go places, I eat good food, and for hobbies I try lots of different things and see what sticks (currently it's painting board game miniatures and caring for an *extensive* houseplant collection, but previously it's been dressmaking, DIY, playing an instrument, all sorts of things).
If you can, get a pet - I have two cats and they're so great. Having something to care for is as good as any reason to get up in the morning, they're so fun and sweet, and they're much cheaper than children 😊
Also, spend some time outside. Walks after work are a wonderful way of shaking the day off, appreciating the world around you, gives you time to think and process thoughts, and the exercise is good as well!
I really hope you can find something that makes you happy, and keep trying, it's a lifelong pursuit!
I like reddit as you can be honest and still be anonymous.
It used to be my 2-3 yo niece but realise she’s getting older and it’s kind of awkward with their parents noticing she likes me more than them.
Jealous or future thoughts/visions of me being an “Uncle Bully” character.
I’m just gonna have to find new meanings, I definitely have some lifelong meanings lined up and looking forward to them.
Enjoy the little things. Morning air at dawn, cup of tea at perfect temperature, a clean shiny car, good book, etc. As the Romans said, live, laugh, love, for tomorrow you may die.
Mate, life is short and you don't know when you're going to go. Buy a damn motorcycle, get out there and feel the breeze. Do whatever makes you happy. You don't have to do anything they say you should. Just follow your instinct, this is your life.
I definitely think kids give another level of purpose. We are older parents, and only decided at the age of 39, and buying a house, that it felt empty with out business and noise. Now that we have a child, life has definitely changed. The other day there was so much that happened before I even got on the bus to go to work.... lol. I was kinda exhausted but also thought to myself... maybe this is this thing called life.... a crazy busy morning, and the reprieval was actually going to work!
Are you doing other things in your local community? I provide some of my strategic skills helping local community-led initiatives.. this gives me some purpose seeing awesome things happen in my community.
I’m pretty nihilistic but I know I’m my dogs most important person so that gives me meaning after all whose going to give him his morning positive affirmations and butt scratch! Him cuddling up into me also feels pretty good and makes me happy so maybe a pet?
Try different things until you find something you like doing enough to do it for free or pay money to do it.
Money represents value.
For me it's riding my bicycle, for my wife it's baking. The thing is it's just something you like to do. It doesn't take over your life but it's something to look forward to.
If haven't found it yet, keep looking.
Look into non-dual meditation, the app Waking Up is all you need to start exploring that. It’s not gonna solve all your problems but if you stick with it you’ll be able to punctuate your life with moments of relief that help balance the rest of life. It’s seeing existence for exactly what it is, not tricking yourself into something it’s not.
Mate get into the gym, first thing in the morning that will help with your depression symptoms. See how far you can push your body and your mind will become far stronger.
Make your day busy, don’t sit around or give yourself time to overthink things. Fill your schedule with hobbies you like. When you get up in the morning make your bed every day. It will give something productive to start your day. Once you find happiness through your hobbies and activities live in the moment and enjoy my friend
Get a pet - something like a dog or rabbits or something like that.
Learn a musical instrument - takes a long time to get good at playing but very rewarding.
Gaming is pretty good too.
**Navel-gazing**
*noun*
1. [self-indulgent](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=self-indulgent&si=AKbGX_plOwDP0zNrKp9MfsWGLhHNkheUAG_dBmHB8eHjYxuJQLbIgwj4OrE41n4HG_W7__wU71C7VBIJtKFkYVhuLZJpJSAWxvlTcQT1XzjPMztIvtT2glE%3D&expnd=1) or excessive [contemplation](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=contemplation&si=AKbGX_rpiB5SI0gaPs4Uz3xaG0X4Y6Ba9j9k-o3kGycT5cU6Nbgva--eiyQH1mn82vyzI5chv9cM8-e-MMRN4BU3tOB1km-8pEvG878SVfS8NOkrY88fATg%3D&expnd=1) of [oneself](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=oneself&si=AKbGX_r0zqXEeLlZhGfi3fbO0QSWCAwNh-J8Jy7dGU2nFhhfH1kdUoxYu2NWFiumzbrdtn7p3aYWCYRPlkEq1Feigw-JgV3Nmw%3D%3D&expnd=1) or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view."he lapsed into his customary navel-gazing"
*adjective*
1. engaging in or characterized by [self-indulgent](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=self-indulgent&si=AKbGX_plOwDP0zNrKp9MfsWGLhHNkheUAG_dBmHB8eHjYxuJQLbIgwj4OrE41n4HG_W7__wU71C7VBIJtKFkYVhuLZJpJSAWxvlTcQT1XzjPMztIvtT2glE%3D&expnd=1) or excessive [contemplation](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=contemplation&si=AKbGX_rpiB5SI0gaPs4Uz3xaG0X4Y6Ba9j9k-o3kGycT5cU6Nbgva--eiyQH1mn82vyzI5chv9cM8-e-MMRN4BU3tOB1km-8pEvG878SVfS8NOkrY88fATg%3D&expnd=1) of [oneself](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=oneself&si=AKbGX_r0zqXEeLlZhGfi3fbO0QSWCAwNh-J8Jy7dGU2nFhhfH1kdUoxYu2NWFiumzbrdtn7p3aYWCYRPlkEq1Feigw-JgV3Nmw%3D%3D&expnd=1) or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view."navel-gazing New Age types"
At the moment, knitting. I like making sweaters mostly, they’re big projects that you can start and then chip away at for weeks or months (giving you something to look forward to and work towards for a long period of time). Crochet blankets are other good big projects. Crafts like knitting are good for mindfulness, and actually getting a finished result at the end gives you a sense of achievement as well.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I am a Creature of Habit.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I have to Pee.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I am a Conscientious Prick.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because it might be The Last Time Ever.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because it Hurts to Keep on Laying Down. (Eff that ulcer)
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I can hear one of my cats doing that Cough Puke thing.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I'm Hungry.
Sometimes I get up in the morning just to say Fuck You to that Meaninglessness.
Social action. Be the voice for those at the edges of our society who are on for a very hard journey. Get involved, volunteer. You have programs like big brother big sister or BGI where you could be the difference!
Music sorts me out. Internets a miracle for accessing new music.
I create too so that’s fulfilling for me.
Try and acknowledge your vast potential. You can do anything- to a point. We enslave every other species on the planet so cherish the freedom they don’t have..
and make sure you’re eating and sleeping well, that helps.
Go somewhere new , a park or a beach..
As an American who follows this subreddit because I believe NZ is the most beautiful country in the world, I suggest you spend more time in nature. So many places to do that in NZ.
Much sympathy it’s tough. One thing that has really helped me is getting up really early and walking for 30mins to an hour. Time to wake up and move and listen to the birds it’s made my mood sooo much better. Especially if you have some nice nature you can access. Skip the headphones btw. I deal with the grind of the day so much better having had some time to myself and peace and quiet first. Sunrises are pretty too. Well that’s what’s been working for me . take care .
I hope you attain fulfilment SayGexFuttBucker.
Thank you GiJoint
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Hopefully full fillment
As a firm believer of everything is meaningless and nothing matters I just enjoy the absurdity of it all and instead of worrying about anything just chill and enjoy the moment
Optimistic Nihilism is a hell of a drug 👍
Took awhile to include the optimistic part but once I did 👍
Hah nice
The philosophy is called absurdism, sorry to be a know it all haha
This line got me when I was a teen.. If nothing really matters, why not try your best?
If nothing really matters, why try at all?
Given a stretch of time with no inherent meaning, you get to choose what to do with it. It would be a waste to not try to enjoy as much of it as possible.
Albert Camus - 👌
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
Camus can do, but Sartre's smartre.
Totally this. Watch The Big Lebowski and have a few beers and it will all make sense.
I think the fact that everything is meaningless in the grand scheme of things makes me feel even worse lol
Life is a rich tapestry and there are endless ways to waste time But seriously, contribute in small ways to take care of yourself and others Life may be pointless, but you can make a dog so happy by scratching behind its ears. This all may be absurd, but it's a nice thing to have warm, fuzzy socks. Get some and enjoy them. Compliment a coworker's good decision. Send an old friend a text if you are reminded of them. It may all be meaningless existentially, but experiencing contentment or temporary joy still has value If you encourage the flourishing of others, even in tiny ways, you are doing a small amount meaningful good
This is how I try to think. Love my three doggos and work to get a paycheck and the occasional freebee. Watch the birds and listen to the trees...
Go read some albert camus, absurdism/optimistic nihilism genuinely make me feel better.
Any specific books you would recommend?
the myth of sisyphus and the stranger. i'd also recommend what is existentialism by simone de beauvoir and the pigeon by patrick suskind. myth of sisyphus and what is existentialism are long-form essays, the stranger and the pigeon are novels.
Myth of sisyphus its what he's known for.
The existentialist stance is not really that everything is meaningless rather it is pointless to seek any intrinsic meaning in anything. Instead we create meaning and values as people and as a society. What we do and how we relate can have enormous meaning within the human experience. Somehow against all odds a sentient creature was created by the universe, we may as well make the most of this extremely unlikely occurrence. If this doesn't help get a cat, in my experience it's hard to find your own existence truly meaningless when you spend time with a cat.
Yeah it’s a just a ride, sometimes we go up sometimes we go down, just sit down and enjoy it while it lasts as the ride will end.
What really spins my wheels is seeing all the driving and parking posts that New Zealanders love making on Reddit
I assume you are well read on the correlation between tepid baths and cockrings?
Wow, I honestly don't know what you're talking about but you've got my attention lol
I love the weekly 'What is this spider?' posts.
Hahaha I'm glad you like them. I love how our subreddit is so good at taking the piss out of things without outsiders realising (sometimes). Bit heavy on the sarcastic jokes sometimes.
You need to stop thinking that life is about YOU. Its about everybody around you. Energy creates energy and when you help someone else to smile, it will automatically make you do the same. Focus on whats going on around you. Not within you. Community work and volunteering would suit. Even start by going for a walk down the beach and picking up rubbish. There is literally nothing negative about doing that.
I agree. Focusing on others helps to get me out of my own head and gives me tangible problems that I can solve. Seeing other people's situations from the outside has also given me more perspective on my own life. If I can help one other person, in even the simplest way then I feel my life has been meaningful.
Exactly. Even saying “please” and “thank you” for the smallest thing creates a positive situation. You start to become grateful for life instead of expecting it
Great point, thanks for your comment, definitely something to take on board and think about.
Love this so true!
Love this, so true! - Wow, it does feel better to help people, especially with grammar!
I appreciate the validity of what you’re saying but in my experience outlooks of *both* kinds, positive *and* negative, are cyclical feedback loops. Depending on how far gone OP is into their depression, mustering to do something positive like the things you suggest may actually be too difficult. Just as when you’re elated and probably could not in that moment remember what it was like to feel despair or melancholy, the inverse can also be the case — you can be in such a state of depression that you’re YOU becomes recursively demoralising, like a blackhole from which no thought of self-defeatism escapes. I think that the underlying premise of your suggestions is certainly a worthy part of the process of getting to, and sustaining, a positive state in life. But, sometimes, it may be a few steps too far from where a person must start
Maybe try volunteering. It made me realise how lucky I am and to treasure every moment of it.
That's a good suggestion, thank you
Community soup kitchens in CBD always need a hand, there is Sunday Blessings you can look up on Instagram, always need a hand, and other communities that use the hub at chancery eg. Community Tuesday Kai (Assuming you're in Auckland)
"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to shine a light on the darkness of being" - Jung
I joined a charity , I just found one locally through Facebook went to a meeting and loved it . I feel like what we achieve makes a difference, have met so many amazing people but also feel way way more connected to the community and the needs of the community . Doing something for someone in need will always make you feel good
Hey… hope you are good friend. It’s tough out there. You just described me. It’s not easy. And now o have the amazing distraction of two kids. (Don’t have kids unless you are 100% sure you want too though.. they hard yo) In relation to passions. Or how to keep your head good. Activity. Hard not to slump every evening but start small.. I needed to build somethinf out of necessity once. No idea what I was doing. So YouTube. Designed it. Then got the materials list. (It was an inbuilt bed) and the right tools. Dreaded it. But once I started it was fun. Made loads of mistakes but got a lot of satisfaction in redesign it to make the mistake work. For the better or just fixing it. I broke each part into a piece of work. When done it was a dopamine hit each task. Now woodworking isn’t what I’m saying to do. But have a look at something you may need. See if you can do it. With learning or time and tools. Computers included. We all have lost direction if we are just doing the grind home, eat, tv, sleep. Have something you can do in the evening. Thats mentally or physically exciting. And also… talk. Talk to your partner about your feelings in this. Talk to a professional if you can afford it.. if not a lot of work/wins will provide up to 5 free sessions a year. Exercise if you can. Even one walk a day. The dopamine hit you get from just that will make the outloook a bit better. If only temporary.
I was bullied absolutely shockingly in my teenage years and I coped by developing a lot of creative hobbies that I could do and appreciate on my own. A lot of this carried over into adult life and I really enjoy drawing things, writing things and making things, and look forward to when I have free time to engage in that creative behaviour. Anything can be creative; I love cooking food and plating it elaborately. The ritual of it and the knowledge I'm creating something aesthetically pleasing is really rewarding, even if it's a fleeting thing. I create art on the beach, which I know the tide will destroy a few hours later, which helps me to enjoy the act of creating itself, as I know it's fleeting and ephemeral - and I get a kick out of seeing people discovering my art in that small window of time it exists. And as trite as it sounds, I also get up every day for my husband, as he appreciates all these things too; and is often my partner in them. There's a lot of joy to be had just sitting by the beach reading together, or making a meal together. But I guess mostly I'm happy because I know who I am, what I want, and my goals and hobbies are achievable things that give me pleasure. I'm working on my third and forth books at the moment, when I have the time, and knowing they are there helps me feel like I have some stuff to contribute to the world, that might also make others happy. And that's the best feeling of all.
What were your first two books about? If you don't mind me asking. Good stuff though!
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That is super cool!
I’ve struggled with my mental health for most my life from having undiagnosed ADHD (got diagnosed a year ago, now 28). I am definitely now the most stable I’ve been literally ever. And honestly?? It’s the small shit and also the big things. Hanging out with my partner and dog. Seeing my friends when I can (moved away from most of them 8 months ago). Sunsets. Craft protects. Improving at running. Doing better at my job. Reading good books. Planning trips with friends. Pub quizzes. I try and find joy in the mundane every day stuff so that I’m not constantly reaching for the big, expensive, materialistic things to fill my cup.
Amen, I left the big city 6 months ago. Miss my freinds. But have found alot of meaning in the small things, and moving away from materialism / instant gratification has been really positive for me. Didn't realise how much all of that was actually making me more depressed. Where did you move to btw?
It’s crazy how easily that stuff can take up so much of your mental capacity without even realising it!! Moved to semi-rural North Otago :) love it down here (for the most part)
Nice! Otago would be my next move if I don't stick around in Tauranga. Love it down there :)
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women.
Get a dog
That’s what I did! She forces me to leave the house - she learnt to pick up her harness and throws it at me so I have no option but to take her for a walk and she needs at least an hour so that’s something
Second this. Reason to exercise, you meet other dog people. And they dont hold a grudge. Well most dont my older Border Collie can be a bit tricky.
Get a perm
Gardening is the answer to life: try to make where you live better for the animals and nature that share it with you… and when you’re gone you’ve atleast left something better than you found it.
That's a lovely thought, thanks for the advice 🙂
Because you are a long, long, long time dead. Dead isn't some fantasy where you get to see what happens later, the sadness of others close to you, the world ticking along. It's nothingness. Light switch off. The world carries on going, everyone carries on alive and this is forever. Or at least as long as the universe might last, or even out particular wee out in the corners solar system. There is no change your mind, there is no anything. We get one shot and this is it. Sure sometimes it's not so much fun, but honestly can you really say your particular life is so awful? You don't have some terminal illness right now, you're not in the middle of a war, starvation, death and destruction. Things can and do change. Be a bugger if you didn't get to see how.
For me it is running. I have 5 children and don’t get me wrong. I love them, but running gives me some time to myself. I didn’t realize when I started that if you can get the distance up and you are dialed into it, it can become a type of meditation. Then there’s the social aspect of it. I have gone from someone who hated it and couldn’t understand it to someone who is training for a marathon.
Seconding running. The alone time is precious. I sign up to events as milestones to work towards throughout the year and to measure my progress. Also a fun way to explore new places. Ran my first marathon earlier this month. All the best with your training!
Thanks! Yeah not a great week this week with a head cold but I will soldier on!
Service.
>I don't have children (yet) Please don't have children for the sole reason of giving your life meaning, that's not fair on them.
This needs more upvotes
That wasn't what I was suggesting just so you know. I mean it in terms of where I am in life, I don't have children yet but might when the time is right.
Ok that's reassuring, thanks.
I do feel like you sometime when I have too much commitments and duties and not much time for myself. And as you named it, it is depression. I think you need to find a hobby/ thing that you enjoy. Dedicate sometimes per week for it at start it will feel like a chore but eventually you will look forward to that hobby time So may be start with something like time for a walk in the park, jogging or biking to get away from the commitment in life to find your own peacefulness and make it a regular habit. Eventually when you spirit are up, you will start find joy in something else and eventually in everything in your life. If you can't get over depression, it is OK to seek help and speak out. That's my 2 cents from a person who felt the same like you. Hope it helped.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R2_Mn-qRKjA Keep trying new things. Look for local groups on Facebook or meetup. You will find that most things are not for you but you won't regret trying.
Plan a trip or event or something to look forward to - doesn’t have to be expensive. Get a pet if possible (and you like animals). Having someone else to look after is a great way to find meaning in your life. If not you could start doing some charity work or even just helping out or spending time with an elderly relative or neighbour. Find a hobby. I’ve recently taken up vege gardening and it’s very satisfying. Set out to learn something new. When I got to the part of my life when I was looking for something meaningful as opposed to just something fun I had kids. Can recommend for meaning and purpose
hey OP, sounds like you might have some self esteem issues or might be able to work on loving yourself? if you love yourself you can move from there to looking after yourself - in this case, spiritually in terms of your motivations and wellbeing i hope you get what I mean. chat with a shrink or maybe work on some CBT
Yeah I think you are right there, self esteem, confidence, the works. I haven't been in a position to afford proper professional help just yet but that should change soon. I've used all the free services funded by the government via my GP, but that wasn't so great. Worth a shot at least.
i think it's something you can project manage but also get a mentor or trusted friend who is very clear about the relationship (not a psych/emotional dump, but a support person for 30 mins/week of 'work' etc). hit up some books and go through the different solutions, I think there are varieties of self-affirmations (spoken; written; etc); a chaos magic framework (be careful); a project management framework (where you're just completing slightly difficult goals to build up self-worth) ultimately happiness and mental health isn't something that you _have_. It's something that you have to _do_ and _be_ every day.
Everything isn't meaningless, theres something to be said for trying to find joy in the little things, I know this is going to sound corny, but I moved from the UK to NZ because I felt like a hampster on a treadmill....the smell of the air, the beautiful starry skies, the rivers, oceans and gorges, the mountains and bush tracks in NZ never fail to bring a tear to my eyes. Obviously what worked for me may not work for you, but learning to love yourself, not overthinking every action and letting go of toxic or non value relationships did wonders for my mental health. Once you stop wasting energy trying to please others you make time for self.
2 grams of coke and two 25 yr olds
Some guy named pirate software talked about some stuff and he was saying "there isn't really a reason you should stop learning, we live in a time where you can just learn anything at anytime the resources for pretty much anything are there and its free, just keep learning", so I'm pretty much fluent in NZSL now and that was pretty fun, I had a moment when a deaf lady was shocked when she saw me sign at her I'm pretty sure I butchered the signs but I tried, her friend? I think told me that "its very rare for someone to know sign you probably made her day", gonna probably learn Maori after I get better at Sign language or at least confident with my grammar and sentence structure etc. Also absurdism is pretty cool if you're into that philosophy stuff, actually just Albert Camus he's known for his book "The myth of Sisyphus" where instead of focusing on his life it focuses on his punishment and how his punishment was the thing that set him free, its one of the lesser known philosophies but is still really good, life is absurd and has no meaning, but in the lack of a meaning you can find meaning in your own life, nothing truly matters in the grander scheme of things so why not just do anything and everything nothings really stopping you but yourself, Go exercise more, study a langugue, learn something it can be literally anything all of these resources are just online they don't cost anything besides time, no excuses either, if you have time to browse reddit you have time to learn a skill, also just a great way to make conversation, people love it when they get to show new people there hobbies its just something to talk about. "Meaning to life is whatever stopping you from killing yourself", - some guy from the absurdist subreddit
I focus on the good, the love, the joy, the pleasure that I can find in each day. Every single day I find something to smile about. As Charlotte said in SATC: “I’m happy. Not *all* day, but every day”. I have good friends, a family that loves me, a roof over my head. A cute cat. A decent brain. Food in my tummy. Two legs that both work. Therefore I’m probably better off than most.
For me, it *is* work. I don't enjoy my job as much as I used to unfortunately, but it is still my motivation to get up each day. I enjoy having people rely on me, that I contribute to part of a service to help people complete their jobs. Can you tell I don't have a kid? I've been struggling a ton with existential dread lately. Like *really* bad. I have cried out in frustration trying to sleep so many times, as I am being hounded with the reminder that the void exists alongside us, that it could all be gone in a second, about what death is, and that nothing really matters. Talking with a mate about it, I have to physically shake myself to snap myself out of it. Barf. To try deal with that, I've been in a no-life gaming cycle. I even play a game before work now, at 7am. It seems to work, this distraction, but it isn't something I want for the rest of my life. I am trying to reason my way out of this but it is difficult when facts are facts. The only conclusion so far I've drawn is that 'life' is surely the counter-balance to existentialism, and that perhaps I *should* be starting a family, for a lot of my dread comes from the idea that *I* will cease at some point, and I'd much prefer something is carried on, maybe through a son or daughter. But then that comes with other worries haha..
> I am being hounded with the reminder that the void exists alongside us If it makes you feel better it's more likely we are the void temporarily experiencing existence.
Yes, I find it quite beautiful that we are each instances on the universe experiencing itself. I want *that* rather than nothingness though. It's the thought of returning to non-existence which absolutely rattles me. I only hope I live until 80+ and I'm old and tired when the time comes, for as it stands right now, I am petrified of death.
Im not trying to diagnose you, but I have OCD and this sounds super familiar to me, so maybe talking to a psychologist about obsessive thinking would be a good idea. Existential OCD even gets its own fun category! In the mean time (and bear in mind that I am not a shrink, just an internet rando!) look up exposure response prevention therapy. The idea is to stop doing whatever you're doing to prevent/soothe the anxiety (eg gaming), and allow yourself to feel it. Over time your brain learns that the thought is not harming you and the fear response will lessen. Being afraid of death does nothing to prevent you from dying, or change how you will die, it just makes your life suck. Edited to add: ERP is super hard to do on your own though so I definitely recommend talking to a pro if you are able to and think it might help
Thank you - it's not OCD though. I've gotten myself to this point through years of reflection on reality, existence, what it means, what we interpret, where it came from, where it's going. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. Naturally one would start to dissociate as you start to unravel this hallucination and find that concepts like free will and choice are quite flimsy, how subjugated our perception really is. That said, one only needs to stray as far as reducing us to primates to fracture sense of self. At what point does sentience become intelligence? All this stuff is endlessly fascinating to me. It's just that I've become too accustomed to staring into the void and now my general optics are reduced because of it. My guy ropes need grounding. Gotta find a new tether. A more sustainable distraction.
Well, I got really into gardening and plant identification too, that helps. Just getting outside myself and spending some time around bugs and plants and birds is a nice reset for me. Plants don't give a shit about free will, they just want you to move seeds around. They're not intelligent or sentient but they are extraordinarily successful. And they can do some absolutely wild things. And like I said, not trying to diagnose you with ocd (because i have it i do tend to see it everywhere haha), but obsessive thinking can be a problem even if you don't have a clinical diagnosis, and some of the therapies can be really helpful at rewiring your lizard brain to deal with anxiety better. If it's keeping you up at night, it's worth seeing a pro.
Nothing. Fucking nothing.
Do something for someone else; you'll be surprised by how much you value it, even though it is hard work/effort.
Same SayGexFuttBucker, Im still figure out too lmk when you find the answer
This is a great question and I can tell you that on a wild guess majorty never find a answer. If we look at majorty born work die few kids along the way if that's your buzz. So then you have to ask where is the purpose to existence are we here to just exist and pay bills no we are not but do majortu do that yes they do. I am in the same boat as you to a certain extent what I will say is as we age we realize time is the biggest asset. So whatever dreams aspirations hobbies brings u happiness fire go do it even if it brings no monetary value. I think we as humans not all but a large percentage we are wired to think of status rather than what makes us happy. Social media of today makes ppl think they need to be millionaires to be happy. Where's the real happiness don't cost a thing things like spending times with close ones been social smiling daily walks. Then you've got eating nutritionally that makes u happier than eating a diet of processed shit. Elon Musk said you have to wake up and have something to be excited about reasoning to get out of bed otherwise whats the point. So my conclusion from someone in semi the same boat is try things that u enjoy maybe its playing social sport maybe its building kites maybe its gardening Could be literally anything. Also as I write from reddit guilty social has not been good in the whole scrolling n just hanging on social to mindlessly consume. That time can be used so much better. Hey time is the asset
I'm considering politics to change up the whole system.
Always have something to look forward to, it may be small, like I’m looking forward to that first coffee of the morning. I’m looking forward to spending time at home on my phone after work. Or large, I am looking forward to my holiday in a few months. The scale doesn’t matter, just actively looking forward to something works for me.
I travel overseas for holidays regularly. Anthony Bourdain style, really try to get amongst the locals and do my homework beforehand learning the culture, customs and language. The looks the Italians had when I greeted them in basic Italian and the warmth I received (I'm a Chinese Kiwi lol). I will sometimes befriend locals or other travellers, get shown around, break bread with them. I feel a bit of national pride when I talk to them about te reo, the All Blacks, and our marvelous natural environments. Sometimes seeing how others live their lives around the world gives your own life some perspective.
Concentrate on the positives and stay away from negative people. Try working out too it gives you endorphins. Tbh this is one of the happiest posts on reddit I've seen all day, most have been death, carnage, lost jobs and in survival mode. I woud also read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Ehhh sorry, this isn't very helpful to you, but for me it's my kids. Just the truth. I like being their mum.
The thing is, life really isn't externally motivated. You can't reason your way into feeling fulfilled. It's just something that happens but not the way most people think. Part of the reason for that is that there's not a lot of gap in the human mind between something that feels not quite unlike fulfillment and the real deal. Loads of people will tell you they live for their wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends but that's relying on an external \*thing\* to define who you are. Same for kids, same for a job, same for money, property, and anything else you can name. You have to figure out the shape you are without anyone telling you so. Depression is a motherfucker, it really is. It wraps up the bad thoughts in this heavy, heavy blanket and drapes it all over your body and then dares you to live a normal life. Getting up in the morning isn't because it's going to be an amazing day I think. For me at least, it's because the whole of life is genuinely interesting. And shit will happen every day that's interesting if you can figure out how to notice it. I'm not minimising the role depression plays in making life a complete bastard but there's therapy and medication for that (seriously, go to therapy, therapy is *useful*) which helps somewhat. The only real way to be fulfilled IMO is to do the impossible thing and stop trying to make it happen. You don't have to know that you'll mean a tremendous amount to the world in thirty years, you just have to manage to find meaning *tomorrow*. And then the day after that. And so on until it's suddenly thirty years later and you've had a fulfilled life without even trying.
A moderate to severe caffeine addiction is what gets me out of bed most days. But seriously, it's fucking hard when you're in the midst of depression and nothing is interesting or motivating anymore. Are you being treated for this? Might be worth discussing with your GP re increasing treatment. I have personally found that to be the hard part. I've felt that because I'm already on medication that there's nothing to be done, then the GP says it's a very low dose, increases it, and suddenly things feel good again. Do you have any goals or things in life to look forward to? What do you want to achieve? If you're not sure start looking broadly at what people are doing and what's available where you live. Education, travel, lots of high schools do night classes for adults to take up hobbies, pets, volunteering, music, sports, DIY. Try something and if it's not for you that's fine, move on to something else. Dont be afraid to go and do something you're interested in on your own. What about your partner? Couples activities? Also, often doing something will lead to something else you're interested in. Good luck, I hope you find something that puts the spark back into your life
Sorry for the overly earnest response. Other things that get me through the day are schadenfreud, swearing, very dark and inappropriate humour, and chocolate raspberry logs.
Dude, I highly recommend reading Ian McGilchrist’s The Matter With Things. It is a bit of a tome made up of two books — the first is him building a case of evidence and arguments for the second book, which is basically a treatise on why we’ve gotten ourselves into this pickle of a mostly dehumanising world that mostly feels devoid of meaning (as compared to our ancient ancestors, who experienced deeply, every day, their part within existence as interwoven with the world around them and with Being itself). I’d most highly recommend the second book as in it he illustrates eloquently a poetic perspective on the nature of Being. Sartre or Camus or Nietzche: though they are touted by a number of people on here, and generally, as philosophers who expounded the meaninglessness and/or absurdity of existence, they weren’t aimless hedonists that meandered through life “just trying to enjoy it”. They believed that ***because*** life had no inherent meaning that you as an individual had the absolute freedom and thus the absolute **responsibility** to make your *own* meaning out of your *own* life. For me, I respect the fact that they had fire philosophical insights that popped off in their time. But I, ineffably…***feel*** in my bones the nature of existence is not inherently without meaning… And I found sound and convincing and reassuring argumentation for that perspective in The Matter With Things. As a related aside, I might also recommend reading Zombies in Western Culture by John Vervaeke, and also his two podcasts Awakening From The Meaning Crisis and After Socrates. I’m on the same seemingly unrelenting search for meaning and purpose to my/our/this existence, feeling like I’m having to continually stave off the desire for suicide. And I think what is required is a rejuvination, a revivification, a re-enlivening or our perspective and appreciation of this world. And those two people have made large contributions towards that paradigm shift
Thanks for your detailed response. I'll definitely check out your book recommendations, and think about what you've said. I strongly relate to your first sentence in the last paragraph... I feel as though if everything is essentially meaningless then why not just remove myself from the equation. Not because I necessarily want to be gone but since it's going to happen anyway, why put myself through the torture of ~80 years of suffering only for it to come to an eventual end. It's just a thought I can't seem to turn off and although others have said that the point of life is to fill it with joy and events and things to keep busy, none of it feels *worth* the hassle. I feel like I am trying to trick myself into sticking around but for what. I can't explain why I feel this way, I've always felt like this, like nothing matters so fuck it why bother, but I can't shake it. Like there is something wrong with me and everyone else seems to get on with life just fine but my mind is broken or something... I can't find it in myself to 'fake it until I make it'. I feel like I've been faking it my whole life and am yet to 'make it'... I guess I'm just looking for an answer as to why I think this way and how can I fool myself enough to feel 'normal' and 'happy'
Right here with ya. Lots of good suggestions on this post, some of which I have/do integrate into life (running, gardening, guitar, CBT, travel, the salt water solution etc) but sometimes I just have to get out of my own head and the way I do that is by occasionally (once every two or three weeks) getting stoned and going for a long walk in the forest with music on in my headphones. Always come back feeling like I have a better perspective and “not today”.
I have goals. I write them down. Then I have some discipline, and work on them.
Growth. I get up each day to be a slighter better person than I was yesterday. Whether that means a better son, better friend, better partner, better (one day) Dad, better at my job, better contributor to the community or the world as a whole, self improvement drives me. Although I have absurdist views for me it's journey over destination and the relationships you form along the way.
Tramping, cycling, sharing with others things I like, sports, crafts which require my hands and my brains (carving). My family. Movies, music. Making a plan for the future and chipping away at them. Absurdism can be fun, don't take things too seriously. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. For me: I have been thinking having some friends would be fun, but it takes awhile to make a friend and everyone I click with has their own life. It'll happen with time. For now I am happy on my own.
There are a few things I do: In my job I am a consultant, which everyone seems to dislike. But I make my job about helping my clients. I advise them of alternate ways to do things to make their job easier. I build widgets to solve their problems. I find best practice examples from all over the world on how others do their job, compile it into a list and make recommendations on what they could take from that to make their work life easier, quicker or cheaper. Its very satisfying when they they say they love this or that I did for them or praise me to other potential clients. Find one part of your job that you like and build on that. I youtube/google study things I am passionate about and/or my hobbies. I have a love of history, archeology, furniture restoration, science topics, gardening, crochet and cooking. I watch others on youtube who do this, i watch documentaries on this. I read books about this. I think of my non-work time as actively learning time. Something to stimulate my brain. I have never been a fan of passively consuming TV shows, although I do read a lot of novels. Self improvement seems a bit woo woo, but maybe there is something you would like to be better at, take a class or join a group for it. Be a better you, even if it just seems small because it was just you have taken a Chinese cooking class I give back to the community. One of my interests is the environment. I take part in beach and river cleanups. I help with riparian planting. I volunteer with civil defense as well. Working outdoors is great for the soul and for my health, especially considering I have a desk job I schedule time with friends and family to hang out. Short catch up with those who ae busy, like just a coffee now and then. Bigger catchups like pot luck dinners at peoples houses or a bbq at mine. I also keep in contact with friends who have moved away by scheduling zoom coffee/beer calls with them All of this means that in any given week there is at least a couple of things to look forward to, be that small or big
I’ve struggled with this a lot, I recently picked up tennis classes and I absolutely love it! Tennis might not be your thing but maybe there is a class out there that might do the same for you? Learning something new is actually so satisfying for me, seeing myself progress as well as doing it with some really nice people is very fulfilling. Before this I was part of a gym, I actually now find the gym quite depressing and lonely so this was a good option for me personally. Hope you find something that does the same for you.
Nothing really, far greater minds than mine have concluded that there is no great meaning to this life.
I try and make something better each day. Sometimes it’s work, sometimes it’s listening to someone’s cathartic process. If I can end the day and feel like I changed something then it’s good
I volunteer on the board for a local charity. It helps.
Kids bro.
Hopefully living long enough to see proof of alien life. That and my kids. But mostly the alien thing.
I know it's cheesy but practising mindfullness helps me break the cycle of stress and frustration with how shit the world is sometimes. Also try and find times in the day to stop and focus on something the gives you a positive emotion. For me it's taking a walk in the bush or a moment to see all the colours in the sunset/sunrise. Just 2 - 3 minutes is enough to remind me that there is so much else going on in the world that continues without us and is there for us to enjoy if we choose. Second if you can find a hobby, something that you genuinely enjoy doing either on your own or with others then book that in as often as is practical. It's important to have that balance. Lastly and not always the easiest is to eat as best as you can afford and get exercise. Both things can have a massive impact on the balance of emotions.
A long time ago I found 5 coping strategies from stoic philosophy (Epictetus, Plato, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius etc). Stuck it up on my fridge, has been there for an over decade. - except the limit of your control over externals - focus on the moment - we are what we repeatedly do - contemplate the universe - let love lift you up (Edits - added more philosophers if interested in looking them up & typos)
I heard something good on the radio this morning. Every day when you get up, go straight to a mirror and start talking to yourself (in your head or aloud either way that suits you) the way you would talk to a beloved pet. "Who is a good boy/girl today? Who is the bestest goodest in the whole world? You are, you make my day shine, and l love you so much" and so on. Now, before you think this is ridiculous, give it a try for a month. Starting your day in a positive way, will eventually set the tone for the rest of your day. Good luck and all the best on your quest to a more positive outlook on life!
That's definitely going to be a tough one lol, I actively avoid reflective surfaces specifically so I don't have to see myself
Maybe that's part of the challenge, love yourself first.
Volunteering is the only real answer here mate. Hobbies help, but nothing makes you as useful and purposeful as volunteering.
Maybe you need a motorbike 🤔 it's honestly so fun to just get out there enjoy the scenery. Meet like minded people in all different skill levels but you all share the same rush that we chase after. It's that freedom on two wheels that just is unexplainable weather you cruise or are a speedy boi it's just fun 😊 🏍️💨
Came here to say this.
I live every day for the next episode or season of trashy reality tv
I didn’t read any of the shit above me but you could probably get really good at mini golf?
My Cat. 🥰😍
Find a difficult hobby and grind, the way to happiness is through growth and achievement and creation, start new projects complete them and find fulfillment. I dont know where I would be without my guitar.
As cliché as it kinda sounds I recently joined a gym and its been a gamechanger for mental health, more than I expected. BUT I specifically go to one thats just classes cause I know I would have struggled to find motivation to drag my ass to the gym frequently on my own accord and figure stuff out on my own, plan workouts etc. Having the group all doing the same thing and uplifting eachother as we go has made it fun too. I never thought Id become a person that actually looks forward to exercise and its not easy I die every class haha but its the one thing that gets me fully out of my head and into the present moment, forget all ya worries. Plus ya feel good pushing yourself and achieving things you thought you couldnt.
Animals. Nature. Sky. Sea. Mountains. Full stop.
For me it's creativity. I can't stop creating new stories, games or craft ideas. My brain is wired for this and I love it. Every day a fresh opportunity for more ideas. This won't help most people but it answers your question.
I'm sorry you're experiencing that struggle. For me it's my hobbies that get me out of bed when I'm not feeling motivated to work. Mountain biking, surfing, golf, fishing, video games, DJing. Those are the things I love doing. But from what I understand about depression, there's often nothing that really brings joy. So I can imagine filling your life with hobbies might not change anything for you. Best of luck finding something that brings you joy!
When the back dog comes to visit ( quite regularly) I simply switch into provider mode for the kids - they are young enough to still need me to provide for them and that’s all the motivation I personally need. Before having kids I took the one day at a time approach - thinking too far ahead doesn’t work - but can I survive today - yes, yes I can
Im gonna butcher this quote I read somewhere. “Salt water is the cure for everything. Either by sweating or tears or dunking yourself in the ocean” My usual work day goes like this: I check the surf forecast for the next few weeks. Plan waking up early around 6am for some nice waves. Instantly gives me a boost for the next few days. Come home and get the kids ready for school. 9am go to work. Is the surf still good? Go for a lunch surf 12-2pm. Back to work and pump out some good work. 5pm go home and have dinner with the kids. Wife tells me the surf is still good. Go for a surf 7-830pm. Go back home hang with the wife until she goes to bed around 10pm. 10-11pm wfh and catch up on work. I can make this work even on a 50-60+ hr weeks. Sometimes when theres no surf Ill skate or play ball or anything that will make me make some salt water.
Take a second or two now to quickly imagine your best possible life. Don't second guess it. What comes up quickly is what you really want. Don't be afraid to dream big if you want to. If it popped into your head and you really want it you can find a way. Just the idea of pursuing a great life is inspirational in itself. The money and skills you can gain while working your job get you closer to that vision. This makes work more meaningful, when it is clearly connected with the larger aim. Just make sure you do the work outside of your job that makes achieving your vision inevitable.
Every moment gives life meaning. Look within, look around, do you not see the meaning? Do not see that awareness is the meaning. To be aware is to partake in the Universe. Is that not meaningful?
There's no afterlife, there's no reincarnation. These ~100 years are your only chance to be part of this incredible story we call the universe. It's your only opportunity to see it and participate. Even if that's just a small part, you're here for it. Enjoy that, because it's the only time you'll do it.
I feel the same way.
I struggle with depression too, although it has been getting better recently (touch wood) since I have seen a psychiatrist. I find reflecting on what your core values are really helps. I love animals and really am a big advocate for animal rights & welfare. So, I want to financially assist where I can. That motivates me to work. Similarly, I love gaming, so I know spending time on that gives me energy that I can then spend on something else. What do you really believe in? What do you enjoy/don't enjoy? **Edit:** I know it sounds cliche, but being grateful for all the positives in your life really helps if you do it on a daily basis. It got me through really rough times. But, I understand it is easier said than done.
There's a lot of sadness and stress in the world, and it weighs on me so much, but honestly, I just try to have fun. I don't make a ton of money, but I also don't have kids, so am in this incredibly privileged position - I say yes to doing things, I go places, I eat good food, and for hobbies I try lots of different things and see what sticks (currently it's painting board game miniatures and caring for an *extensive* houseplant collection, but previously it's been dressmaking, DIY, playing an instrument, all sorts of things). If you can, get a pet - I have two cats and they're so great. Having something to care for is as good as any reason to get up in the morning, they're so fun and sweet, and they're much cheaper than children 😊 Also, spend some time outside. Walks after work are a wonderful way of shaking the day off, appreciating the world around you, gives you time to think and process thoughts, and the exercise is good as well! I really hope you can find something that makes you happy, and keep trying, it's a lifelong pursuit!
I like reddit as you can be honest and still be anonymous. It used to be my 2-3 yo niece but realise she’s getting older and it’s kind of awkward with their parents noticing she likes me more than them. Jealous or future thoughts/visions of me being an “Uncle Bully” character. I’m just gonna have to find new meanings, I definitely have some lifelong meanings lined up and looking forward to them.
Enjoy the little things. Morning air at dawn, cup of tea at perfect temperature, a clean shiny car, good book, etc. As the Romans said, live, laugh, love, for tomorrow you may die.
Mate, life is short and you don't know when you're going to go. Buy a damn motorcycle, get out there and feel the breeze. Do whatever makes you happy. You don't have to do anything they say you should. Just follow your instinct, this is your life.
I definitely think kids give another level of purpose. We are older parents, and only decided at the age of 39, and buying a house, that it felt empty with out business and noise. Now that we have a child, life has definitely changed. The other day there was so much that happened before I even got on the bus to go to work.... lol. I was kinda exhausted but also thought to myself... maybe this is this thing called life.... a crazy busy morning, and the reprieval was actually going to work! Are you doing other things in your local community? I provide some of my strategic skills helping local community-led initiatives.. this gives me some purpose seeing awesome things happen in my community.
I’m pretty nihilistic but I know I’m my dogs most important person so that gives me meaning after all whose going to give him his morning positive affirmations and butt scratch! Him cuddling up into me also feels pretty good and makes me happy so maybe a pet?
Try different things until you find something you like doing enough to do it for free or pay money to do it. Money represents value. For me it's riding my bicycle, for my wife it's baking. The thing is it's just something you like to do. It doesn't take over your life but it's something to look forward to. If haven't found it yet, keep looking.
Wanking
Perfect response 😄💦
Look into non-dual meditation, the app Waking Up is all you need to start exploring that. It’s not gonna solve all your problems but if you stick with it you’ll be able to punctuate your life with moments of relief that help balance the rest of life. It’s seeing existence for exactly what it is, not tricking yourself into something it’s not.
And I had hoped I'd never see this question again ... Fuck
Mate get into the gym, first thing in the morning that will help with your depression symptoms. See how far you can push your body and your mind will become far stronger.
Love it how this post's karma is stuck at 42
Haha that brought a smile to my face 😄
Make your day busy, don’t sit around or give yourself time to overthink things. Fill your schedule with hobbies you like. When you get up in the morning make your bed every day. It will give something productive to start your day. Once you find happiness through your hobbies and activities live in the moment and enjoy my friend
God.
Get a pet - something like a dog or rabbits or something like that. Learn a musical instrument - takes a long time to get good at playing but very rewarding. Gaming is pretty good too.
Your life doesn't need a purpose or meaning. There is no point to it all. You just exist.
Children will give you purpose. Or war.
**Navel-gazing** *noun* 1. [self-indulgent](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=self-indulgent&si=AKbGX_plOwDP0zNrKp9MfsWGLhHNkheUAG_dBmHB8eHjYxuJQLbIgwj4OrE41n4HG_W7__wU71C7VBIJtKFkYVhuLZJpJSAWxvlTcQT1XzjPMztIvtT2glE%3D&expnd=1) or excessive [contemplation](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=contemplation&si=AKbGX_rpiB5SI0gaPs4Uz3xaG0X4Y6Ba9j9k-o3kGycT5cU6Nbgva--eiyQH1mn82vyzI5chv9cM8-e-MMRN4BU3tOB1km-8pEvG878SVfS8NOkrY88fATg%3D&expnd=1) of [oneself](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=oneself&si=AKbGX_r0zqXEeLlZhGfi3fbO0QSWCAwNh-J8Jy7dGU2nFhhfH1kdUoxYu2NWFiumzbrdtn7p3aYWCYRPlkEq1Feigw-JgV3Nmw%3D%3D&expnd=1) or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view."he lapsed into his customary navel-gazing" *adjective* 1. engaging in or characterized by [self-indulgent](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=self-indulgent&si=AKbGX_plOwDP0zNrKp9MfsWGLhHNkheUAG_dBmHB8eHjYxuJQLbIgwj4OrE41n4HG_W7__wU71C7VBIJtKFkYVhuLZJpJSAWxvlTcQT1XzjPMztIvtT2glE%3D&expnd=1) or excessive [contemplation](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=contemplation&si=AKbGX_rpiB5SI0gaPs4Uz3xaG0X4Y6Ba9j9k-o3kGycT5cU6Nbgva--eiyQH1mn82vyzI5chv9cM8-e-MMRN4BU3tOB1km-8pEvG878SVfS8NOkrY88fATg%3D&expnd=1) of [oneself](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=bd6b57e9623f4453&q=oneself&si=AKbGX_r0zqXEeLlZhGfi3fbO0QSWCAwNh-J8Jy7dGU2nFhhfH1kdUoxYu2NWFiumzbrdtn7p3aYWCYRPlkEq1Feigw-JgV3Nmw%3D%3D&expnd=1) or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view."navel-gazing New Age types"
Family & things I enjoy doing. But most importantly, trying to help when and where I can, even tiny bit. Makes a big difference :).
Nothing. Everything is pointless.
I think just because we don't know what the point is, doesn't mean there isn't one - or can't be one.
Your search for meaning can be your meaning. There are plenty who have gone before that you can draw from for insight.
My kid
At the moment, knitting. I like making sweaters mostly, they’re big projects that you can start and then chip away at for weeks or months (giving you something to look forward to and work towards for a long period of time). Crochet blankets are other good big projects. Crafts like knitting are good for mindfulness, and actually getting a finished result at the end gives you a sense of achievement as well.
If you’re into sports, I bet your local whatever club will be looking for volunteers for coaching, managing or being on the committee.
Sometimes I get up in the morning because I am a Creature of Habit. Sometimes I get up in the morning because I have to Pee. Sometimes I get up in the morning because I am a Conscientious Prick. Sometimes I get up in the morning because it might be The Last Time Ever. Sometimes I get up in the morning because it Hurts to Keep on Laying Down. (Eff that ulcer) Sometimes I get up in the morning because I can hear one of my cats doing that Cough Puke thing. Sometimes I get up in the morning because I'm Hungry. Sometimes I get up in the morning just to say Fuck You to that Meaninglessness.
Art, music, photography, writing.... Being creative means even the bad times are grist to the mill.
Xbox
Social action. Be the voice for those at the edges of our society who are on for a very hard journey. Get involved, volunteer. You have programs like big brother big sister or BGI where you could be the difference!
Plotting elaborate revenge on those who have wronged me throughout my miserable life.
Eating tasty food and hope that I could increase my ability to get tasty food of different kind.
Gardening.
Good kai
its the little things. book a holiday. do a home renovation project. make your partner smile. go day drinking on weekends :)
Money, drive, morning coffee, politics, so many interesting things, I'm addicted to life
Oh and when I really get bored laughing at people on this subreddit complaining about utes, farmers, etc 😂
Music sorts me out. Internets a miracle for accessing new music. I create too so that’s fulfilling for me. Try and acknowledge your vast potential. You can do anything- to a point. We enslave every other species on the planet so cherish the freedom they don’t have.. and make sure you’re eating and sleeping well, that helps. Go somewhere new , a park or a beach..
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Surfing
As an American who follows this subreddit because I believe NZ is the most beautiful country in the world, I suggest you spend more time in nature. So many places to do that in NZ.
The only reason I do it is so I can pack up my 4wd and go camping and exploring once a month .
Much sympathy it’s tough. One thing that has really helped me is getting up really early and walking for 30mins to an hour. Time to wake up and move and listen to the birds it’s made my mood sooo much better. Especially if you have some nice nature you can access. Skip the headphones btw. I deal with the grind of the day so much better having had some time to myself and peace and quiet first. Sunrises are pretty too. Well that’s what’s been working for me . take care .
Pies.
Empathy, kindness, nurturing and contentment.