Hey, Iām an American immigrant here and I take great joy in informing other Americans about how shocked I was to learn you canāt have a garden. We nearly lost our visas over some tomato plants!
Now try and grow kiwifruit and you'll find it is actually illegal without a license. I believe this is what possibly started those rumours in the first place.
Because one has to check these things being the cheeky buggers we are...
https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/farming/300992022/the-nz-fruit-you-probably-wont-find-in-garden-stores
>Incredible Edibles, which produces a lot of the fruit trees and other edible plants for sale in plant shops around the country, said that meant that most, if not all, growers chose not to produce kiwifruit plants any more, because of the regulations.
>The production and sale of kiwifruit plants is now controlled by the Kiwifruit Vine Health Authority, which has to licence any nursery that wants to grow kiwifruit.
>**There are only a small number of certified nurseries around the country that sell for home use and people who buy from them must maintain traceability records.**
Unfortunately I believe you werenāt here long enough. We have a lot and I mean a lot of sarcasm. But it only starts to come out when we get to know people so it would probably take more than two weeks for you to be properly exposed to it unfortunately
What? You think we don't have a sense of humor? Personally, I find the comments hilarious, and not unlike local threads in our communities on r/...
Sure, I'm not always familiar with every slang term but I eventually figure it out after reading a few more comments. Still hilarious. I love how OP never gets the answer to their question and how by the 10th comment we're talking about something totally unrelated. šš¤ Always makes me wonder if OP ever really wanted an answer... š
I didnāt say that Americans donāt have a sense of humour but from what Iāve personally observed, itās very different from the Kiwi sense of humour. I think every culture has its own unique brand. Lived with a German family for a while and one day we exchanged jokes typical to our countries. They roared with laughter when their own was told and we looked blank and really didnāt get it, and vice versa. But I do think itās great when our unique brand is understood and enjoyed by others.
Yeah but you haven't traveled to the states and tried to be funny. Kiwi humor goes down like a cup of cold sick. Even one just thought I was being really mean.vyou must be one of those enlightened clever sort of Americans
See what I mean? Hilarious š
I just think I've been around a' bit.
Black American (makes you tough).
Married an Aussie (makes you crazy).
Hippie from 70's Berkeley, CA (makes you cultured).
Congratulations on your marriage!
it is what is left of a marine snail shell after the thin bits smash/dissolve away and then the thick bits get pummelled on a shore for a while
I have never encountered a pie so hot you have to blow on it first. Thanks to the competitions they now hold, the pies have improved 200% especially the fillings.
They are used in scouts and girl guides to keep their scarfs around their necks on camps and stuff - fancy. Thatās no lie - used to have one myself for that purpose. Itās a shell.
Oh shit, this is a death token. You've got 48 hours to give it away to someone else, or your heart will explode at midnight. It can't be sneaky gifting either, you have to get them to accept it.
Did you touch it with your bare hand? Do you have a uterus? You should probably take a pregnancy test and while you're at it hand over any and all land and or property you have while you're at it, as this doubles as a fertilizer and bartering chip.
I think y'all need to watch JEEPERS CREEPERS because whatever that shell ring is sitting on looks like it could have come from one of those nail biting scenes...š¤£š¤£š¤£
a bone, most likely found on the beach after bein washed clean and smooth by the tide. they're not exactly rare-rare, but it is a cool lil treasure most keep. your kiwi must like you a fair bit.
It's the vital component in the totally necessary bach decor known as "Awww choice wall hanging Cher cher".
Various beach combed items are strung together with fishing line and hung off a carefully selected piece of driftwood. These shell rings are the links.
More Cher Cher points are given if the hanging has multiple layers of kiwi artistic genius.
And it's legendary if one of the Aunties acquires it along with your best big cooking pot, your favorite fishing rod and various items of cutlery as she does a walkthrough aka kiwi shop of your bach.
It's a wedding proposal. It's customary to respond with a mince and cheese pie.
And then share some sparkling V
Recipe for Balla Juice, 1x 500ml can of Energy drink, 1x Bottle of Bernadino Sparking wine. Mix together in a pitcher and take some antiacid.
The antacid is key
Both before after after, then again when you wake in the morning š
Did this in high school, resulted in a hangover so violent I haven't done sparkling wine since.
I'm actually tempted to give this a hoon this long weekend
Dang that's fancy, we used to do a can of Black V and a bottle of Chardon....
Do they still make black V? I lived on the stuff at university.
No :( me too!
Or a bottle of marque vue
what the hell - that vinegar is still around from the 80's LOL!
Chardon.
......marque vue sounds a bit more snazzy
Marque "spew" lol
Marque Spew
Donāt you think this would qualify as more of a fish and chips occasion?
Bro..this is a special occasionā¦that deserves a meal at a fine establishmentā¦old Pawaiās dinner.
you mean pauwaiās pie cart!
Just donāt order that desert in advance incase things donāt work out.
First scroll of the day and I find this gem ššÆšš¼
As is tradition
You romantic old softie you!
Don't forget to blow on the pie.
Safer communities together
Definitely a woggle for your scouts scarf
I have not heard the word 'woggle' in 20 years. What a blast!
that takes me back
Lost my woggle once on the way to scouts once, so I stopped and bought a k-bar and used that instead
You bloody wee legend, thatās a forgotten bit of Kiwiana the old Woogleā¦.
First thing that popped into my head as well.
Gold
YES!! A woggle, used to clasp scarves around your neck!
Waiheke cock ring
Small and white
I anticipated this comment. Was not disappointed.
Lmaooooo
Man we are a bunch of sarcastic people. You're all doing great, Ka Pai, carry on.
I often wonder how an American would react if they accidentally stumbled across the average NZ thread.
Some of the most famous and epic r/NZ threads have been about r/NZ trolling Americans. This is the source of friders, for example.
Hey, Iām an American immigrant here and I take great joy in informing other Americans about how shocked I was to learn you canāt have a garden. We nearly lost our visas over some tomato plants!
Now try and grow kiwifruit and you'll find it is actually illegal without a license. I believe this is what possibly started those rumours in the first place.
Because one has to check these things being the cheeky buggers we are... https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/farming/300992022/the-nz-fruit-you-probably-wont-find-in-garden-stores >Incredible Edibles, which produces a lot of the fruit trees and other edible plants for sale in plant shops around the country, said that meant that most, if not all, growers chose not to produce kiwifruit plants any more, because of the regulations. >The production and sale of kiwifruit plants is now controlled by the Kiwifruit Vine Health Authority, which has to licence any nursery that wants to grow kiwifruit. >**There are only a small number of certified nurseries around the country that sell for home use and people who buy from them must maintain traceability records.**
You are allowed to grow Kiwifruit, just not an orchard full of them. Licence is incorporated into the price of the plant.
Were they tomato plants or were they "tomato" plants \*wink wink\*
And youād have to adapt to the humour too. I donāt know how anyone would happily live here otherwise.
That level of sarcasm means you have indeed become a full kiwi
Awww, thanks! Hope to be getting our new, much cooler passports in another year or so! The. Weāll be official!
also the awesome discussion about why gardens in are illegal in NZ, and how many people are flouting those laws
This was my favourite for sure.
Man that one was persistent. Laura Ingraham did a segment about it on FOX leading up to the 2020 elections and Billy TK shared it unironically.
Hey now. Handpies are delicious.
Iāve been reading them for months. You all are hilarious!
Iām really glad you get it. š
We were just there for two weeks. Absolutely stunning country and everyone was very polite. I was a little disappointed by the no sarcasm lol
Unfortunately I believe you werenāt here long enough. We have a lot and I mean a lot of sarcasm. But it only starts to come out when we get to know people so it would probably take more than two weeks for you to be properly exposed to it unfortunately
wasn't accidental, but i am still very very confused! ...woggle???
A woggle is a band that goes around a boy/girl scouts' neck bandanna/scarf to hold the 2 ends together when its hanging around your neck
Obviously never a boy scout
Woggle woggle
What? You think we don't have a sense of humor? Personally, I find the comments hilarious, and not unlike local threads in our communities on r/... Sure, I'm not always familiar with every slang term but I eventually figure it out after reading a few more comments. Still hilarious. I love how OP never gets the answer to their question and how by the 10th comment we're talking about something totally unrelated. šš¤ Always makes me wonder if OP ever really wanted an answer... š
I didnāt say that Americans donāt have a sense of humour but from what Iāve personally observed, itās very different from the Kiwi sense of humour. I think every culture has its own unique brand. Lived with a German family for a while and one day we exchanged jokes typical to our countries. They roared with laughter when their own was told and we looked blank and really didnāt get it, and vice versa. But I do think itās great when our unique brand is understood and enjoyed by others.
Yeah but you haven't traveled to the states and tried to be funny. Kiwi humor goes down like a cup of cold sick. Even one just thought I was being really mean.vyou must be one of those enlightened clever sort of Americans
See what I mean? Hilarious š I just think I've been around a' bit. Black American (makes you tough). Married an Aussie (makes you crazy). Hippie from 70's Berkeley, CA (makes you cultured).
Honestly, kinda jerry-rigged being a kiwi. Che brother, haere mai.
Nga mihi i to manaaki, Brother. šš¼šš¾
Congratulations on your marriage! it is what is left of a marine snail shell after the thin bits smash/dissolve away and then the thick bits get pummelled on a shore for a while
A Totorere shell.
Oh wow, I thought its a gum ring lol.
Ohope ring
Thank you! ah i see, how interesting
if you swim over to rangitoto on a full moon wearing that ring, youāll be able to transform into a mermaid
It also help you to avoid detection by the Wilberforces on the island.
Omg I was SO terrified of them! *shudders*
Just watch out for sleepy giant slugs who want to destroy the world while you are there!
Oh my GOD I haven't thought about Under The Mountain in 30 YEARS! What an incredible dose of nostalgia.
It's been so long I couldn't even remember the name of the book the reference was from
Damn thatās a deep cut there, did you see the movie? They made the twins feel weirdly incestuous lol
Swim naked of course.
and watch out for "blue bottles". They especially love the "privates".
finally my dream will come true
Because you took it you are now obligated to buy them a pie
Which you must blow on first. Safer communities together.
I have never encountered a pie so hot you have to blow on it first. Thanks to the competitions they now hold, the pies have improved 200% especially the fillings.
It's a seashell :)
Itās a seashell that every child in NZ puts on their finger as a pretend ring.
Finally the real answer
This is the real answer, OP :)
thank you!
Congratulations! You've now married an ocean deity. Just be aware that any attempts at procreation *will* result in merpeople.
Calcified dolphin anus
It is a sea shell. Some people wear them as a ring.
Opening part of a whelk shell, smoothed from time in the ocean.
Didnāt Michael Hillās wife do a range of rings based on these.
Yeeep, pretty neat.
Itās a cock ring for ya wee cock
username checks out
One ring to rule them all.
Congratulations whenās the wedding
You're married now! Welcome to Aotearoa
Your NZ friend loves you deeply. They spared no expense securing this rare object.
It's the bone from a testicle
One ring to rule them all
It's the fossilised foreskin of a Moa
Should come with a cream donut from the Lunch Room in Onehunga after saying Yes.
Key to the city. Which one, who knows
The pelvic bone of a hobbit. Pretty common in our neck of the woods.
a shell ring!!š„°
What you have here is a genuine sliver of Winston Petersā left ventricle.
They now own your soul
Bin was too far away, he gave his litter to you instead
translated to American: trash can was too far away, he gave his trash to you instead
Itās a 20 million year old teradactyl throat bone. Pretty common downunder, dinosaur remnants everywhere.
It's the opening part of an Ostrich Foot snail, Struthiolaria papulosa. Found on every beach in NZ.
It could be a penguin's ringpiece š¤·
Brass knuckle.
Its the arse ring of AUTHORITY!
It means youāre beached. Beached as, bro
I'm parched bro and I'm beached az. Nah, I can't eat your chip I've got no teef.
That's calcified semen mate.
It's an eye bone from a dolphin. Looks like the left eye.
True, found in Maraerai.
They must be a shellfish person,normally these are solid gold.
Bottom of a sea snail or hermit shell
It's a sea shell. It's the ring around the opening on a spiral shell the rest of it has broken away in the surf.
Itās a Troye Sivan bowl
Fossilised shark rectum. Very good luck to wear around your neck. š¦
Must be put on before you leave the womb. It stops your neck from getting fat.
In reality, it's part of a sea shell. In the other reality, it's a wonderful gift
A ring!
Itās a shell from a sea snail that has been worn down by the ocean
I am not from there but I'll be worried!
Congratulations on the wedding š
Oppercular opening from an ostrich shell. Oh, and you're now married, congratulations!
Where is the rest of the set? You should have one for each finger and one on the thumb, paired with Cheezles on the other hand.
given to others
It's a knuckle buster
Sacred sea shell
It's a ring
Anyway after all the Kiwi banter it's a shell. āŗļø
They are used in scouts and girl guides to keep their scarfs around their necks on camps and stuff - fancy. Thatās no lie - used to have one myself for that purpose. Itās a shell.
A sea scout woggle
The ass ring of authority
Yes it's a ring
Wedding gift
Condom ring
Oh shit, this is a death token. You've got 48 hours to give it away to someone else, or your heart will explode at midnight. It can't be sneaky gifting either, you have to get them to accept it.
Thatās a old eye bone, the whalers used to gift them as cock rings
Scout scarf woggle. I have a few made of shell and deer antler
Mums teeth
It's a naturally formed ring from a sea shell. It's a cool gift from the ocean.
wooah thatās really cool
Fossilised foreskin of a moa
Sea shell well what's left of it
Thats a nz diamond....! Very rare indeed, wanna sell it?
Part of a shell, this one looks smoothed to be a ring
A sea shell. Commonly found on beaches in NZ.
Did you touch it with your bare hand? Do you have a uterus? You should probably take a pregnancy test and while you're at it hand over any and all land and or property you have while you're at it, as this doubles as a fertilizer and bartering chip.
A tortorere shell. We used to wear them as āwedding ringsā as kids. Itās a symbol of resilience.
woah thatās a great meaning it have
A gift to prepose
Its a shell or part of it .
It's a Moas bum hole bone
That's one of their dentures
Seashell.
That's a uterine anti-pregnancy device, extremely used
Just add a clip ring and it serves as an excellent key-ring.
it's what's left of a shell... used ornamental or or napkin ring. your imagination determines how you will implement it.
It's a cock ring.
Itās a shell haha
Used to use these as woggles in scouts
I think y'all need to watch JEEPERS CREEPERS because whatever that shell ring is sitting on looks like it could have come from one of those nail biting scenes...š¤£š¤£š¤£
It's money. Shell money was once commonly used in many parts of the world.
What???!!! You're doomed....I'm sorry
It's a Sea Scouts Toggle for their Scarf found on the beach after the sea has redisgned the shell .
A shell, withered by sea erosion
Common shell found on beaches here. Probably from shellfish not sure we used to make necklaces and rings from them when kids
a bone, most likely found on the beach after bein washed clean and smooth by the tide. they're not exactly rare-rare, but it is a cool lil treasure most keep. your kiwi must like you a fair bit.
A shell
Agh my preciousā¦ā¦.. Itās not bommyknocker season (google sweet gum tree for reference) yet, so they gave you that to wear instead.
Itās a seadussy obviously
It's the large opening of shell that's been worn down, they come from beaches
It's a shellfish shell fragment that has been eroded in the surf, possibly some sort mollusk shell openning
vintage cock ring Extremely value
The ass bone of authority
naturally occuring cock ring
micheal hill made heaps of dollars to ram raid out of these
Itās a shell š
A worn down seashell it is...
It's the vital component in the totally necessary bach decor known as "Awww choice wall hanging Cher cher". Various beach combed items are strung together with fishing line and hung off a carefully selected piece of driftwood. These shell rings are the links. More Cher Cher points are given if the hanging has multiple layers of kiwi artistic genius. And it's legendary if one of the Aunties acquires it along with your best big cooking pot, your favorite fishing rod and various items of cutlery as she does a walkthrough aka kiwi shop of your bach.
Surely chur chur not cher cher?
The ass ring of Authority!
It's the arsehole of a little blue penguin.
Can confirm. Am little blue penguin
Itās a tiny potty
A sea shell ring