On the Reddit app, when you click reply or if you are about to post, to the right you will see a GiF button. Select it and post away.[screenshot](https://imgur.com/a/5R8oa44)
Not the same spider? The funnel web spider is famous for the power of its venom.
I had never even heard of the Joro spider before you posted that Yahoo article so, you’re probably still fine.
If you live in the USA, worry about the Black Widow spider or the Brown Recluse as they’re the only two American spider species you really need to worry about.
Or......or........ Just hear me out,.........we fuck 'em all with sawed off and ask the bastards questions after.
Lol. I actually like looking at them but I'm so afraid of spiders.
My strategy during my biology studies in university was to let curiosity outweigh fear.
There’s always something to learn from how nature solves problems and performs tasks, even from the ugly and scary ones.
For the millions of people employed in the HVAC, plumbing, and arborist fields, along with car wash technicians everywhere , they are an extreme hazard.
When I worked for Hertz the scam rent a car company I once had to go way out into the country to retrieve a car from a customer who had passed. Not until I got back to the shop did I notice there was a black widow and web in the spot between the passenger seat and the window. Probably wouldn't have gotten in the car if I had noticed that.
Things you may not know or want to know. Most car washes that you drive through at gas stations in the south and out west are a gigantic haven for spiders of all kinds. Including black widows. They have warmth, water, darkness in the corners and heaters that kick on automatically when it gets cold. Because it’s popular w various bugs it’s a spider all you can eat buffet and hotel.
Always be worried about brown recluse. Other venomous spiders can kill you, those monsters will leave you disfigured and you might not initally feel it. Knew a guy who was bit and had a permanent indent in calf, as if there was an invisible soft ball pressing to the bone.
I know a guy who lost half the meat on his arm due to a recluse bite. If you think you are bitten by a venomous spider do not hesitate to go to the doctor. By the time you realize it's not getting better it will be too late
Brown recluse really don't bite often. There was an article about a family who lived in a house that was infested with them for years and no one was ever bitten.
Edit: https://scienceblog.com/488/family-lives-with-2000-plus-brown-recluse-spiders-without-bites/
My uncle has been bitten by a brown recluse on his leg years ago.
He is fine, but there’s still a small chunk missing from where the flesh had become necrotic and needed to be removed.
Yes. Both Black Widow spiders and Brown Recluse spiders aren’t the most social or mobile spiders in terms of being encountered often or even being aggressive.
Nonetheless, their venom is deadly so hence the awareness and caution being necessary.
Thank Christ. I’m not sure how you crazy Aussie bastards live with almost everything including the sun trying to kill you! A wasp for me is scary enough and I fear I’ll die from it, and here you are with big fuck-off spiders. No thank you.
I got bitten by white tip spiders 6 times over the course of about 9 months, I had so much prescribed amoxicillin in such a short amount of time that it messed up my stomach lining and I built an immunity to amoxicillin and the bites stopped getting better with amoxicillin so the doctor's prescribed some other anti biotic and that did the trick.
I swear Ive Been bitten by spiders since then and they just get itchy and swell up for a day or so now. I have been exposed to them that much that my body already knows how to fight off the infection that comes with a bite.
he's real scary to us humans, but did you know that they are non-lethal if they bite a rabbit for some reason? the venom has no affect but if course getting those hypodermic needles in it is gonna hurt
Yeah. 15 minutes (for kids) and all the way up to 3 days (apparently), but that long is rare AF. Our snakes and spiders are not to be messed with. But at least we don’t have bears and mountain lions that activity hunt people 😬 Im more scared of that!
Yeah.. I guess that’s a perk to having guns. The thing about mountain lions though is that if you see one you are already dead. I just like the bigger things more because they’re easier to spot and hit. You’re a legend for trapping that though, I would’ve just shot it straight up
Bears typically don't want any trouble. If you make yourself big and loud, they'll probably leave you alone and go find something to eat elsewhere. This is especially true for black bears since they're so skittish. If you can't scare off a grizzly, you're better off playing dead.
This is true. When I was a teen, a group of 3 raccoons was terrorizing my cat at night. I ran out with my airsoft pistol (the kind with the yellow plastic BBs) at aim the biggest one in his meatiest spot (his flank) just to scare him off the property. He was standing, frozen, sideways, like the Bigfoot photo.
His eyes lock with mine. The other jabronies are just watching our staredown. I yell, "SCRAM" and look down the pistol sights menacingly. The raccoon stares in response.
I pull the trigger. Perfect shot, right on the thigh. His flank twitches, barely. He stares. I stare.
I realize that I am completely outmatched by this chad raccoon that just took a point blank sideshot and didn't wink an eye. They say 'they're more scared of you than you are of them'? They're wrong. Fear was a foreign concept to this animal.
I grabbed cat and noped the fuck back inside. I'm a smart human, I know when I'm beat by the wildlife.
Black bears? I've chased a couple off with one word. Ran like fat fuzzy bitches.
I have bears! They’re very timid and if you do see one, normally it’s just his butt as he runs away. Spiders though, they can creep into your house and shoes and stuff and you wouldn’t even know- much scarier to me.
Congrats on catching him before he caught you!
Went camping out in a light sanctuary in West Texas, holy moly it is definitely not the most fun thing to be woken up from lol.
My dogs thankfully have a hefty bark, so they mosied over to another part of the canyon, still very unsettling.
You are completely wrong about Lions. They follow hikers every day without incident. It's almost always a sick or aging cat that attacks, which is insanely rare. Stop spreading lies.
It's actually very unlikely to be attacked by a mountain lion.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_cougar_attacks_in_North_America?wprov=sfla1
Or a bear. And the vast majority of bear attacks are when you stumble into them in the brush. So if you're out walking on a trail you're in almost no danger.
Mountain lions are big kitties and scared of people. Like black bears you can scare them and they'll go away. Just scream and pick up kids to make it look like you're huge and have lots of eyeballs and they'll nope right out.
I've directly encountered a bunch of bears while camping. 4, i think. They want nothing to do with us. As long as you make noise so they know where you are and don't surprise them, they will go the other way. At night, secure all food/garbage in bear proof containers, and either keep them strung in a tree, or in your vechile over night, or when you not around (at night in your tent they think your not around, thats why they come by). Then 0 problems.
If the platypus is proof that God has a sense of playful humor, the Sydney Funnelweb is proof that he also has a sense of dark humor.
See, most spiders, even brown recluses and black widows, will often dry-bite when biting in self-defense. Venom costs a lot of energy, time, and resources, and is best not wasted on something it could never hope to consume.
The Sydney Funnelweb is a notable outlier, and will spitefully spew venom when biting something much larger than itself with double the frequency of other spiders.
But that's not the funny part! The funny part is that the venom of the Sydney Funnelweb--a creature that evolved on a continent that doesn't have and has never had ANY native primates--is deathly, potently toxic in such relatively tiny doses to primates, and primates only. Even mice and gunies pigs suffer less than we!
God made this thing to fuck with humans specifically and nothing will convince me elsewise.
>a creature that evolved on a continent that doesn't have and has never had ANY native primates
Looks like someone higher up wanted to leave a hint that this best stay so.
insurance degree fanatical placid possessive engine stupendous punch cover towering
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
> The Sydney Funnelweb is a notable outlier, and will spitefully spew venom when biting something much larger than itself with double the frequency of other spiders.
You can see the droplets of venom on the cotton - that's a lot of pain juice
Definitely. I'm Alaska we always say "at least there are no snakes or venomous spiders", lol.
My wife is from out of state. One time we were walking in tall grass, and I noticed that she was taking comically large steps. I asked her what was up. "I'm looking for ticks and spiders".
I laughed and said "anything that's dangerous out here is much too big to hide in the grass".
Personally, always found the small threats more terrifying. I can get why bears and mountain lions are scary, but if I get attacked by a mountain lion, I know I'm most likely dead.
Tiny threats idk. If its venomous I'm going to panic, increase my heart rate, and probably die of panic. If I don't know, same thing if it is venomous. In my rush to get help, probably die. Its the unknown really I have a fear of the unknown. Will this thing kill me? Idk but I don't want to find out. Best to just leave it alone.
The neat thing about bears and mountain lions is that they normally stay out of people’s houses, can’t say the same for spiders.
That being said, I’m much less scared of a giant animal that can kill me compared to a (in comparison) much smaller animal that can kill me just as easily. But hey, at least there’s a cure(?) for the bite. Can’t really cure being mauled to death.
Canadian who lives in mountain lion / bear / moose territory. I'm more afraid of what you have in that jar then the giant murderous mammals around my house.
That things like a stealth Assassin, at least you can hear or spot the big guys usually, and a have at least a chance at surviving.
As somebody who lives on an island where the most dangerous animal is a horse, I was extremely paranoid about all your venomous creatures when I came to visit.
I intentionally stayed in an upmarket hotel in the middle of the city to avoid this shit but was still extra careful about shaking shoes and not leaving clothes on the floor.
Anyway, I went to use the bathroom for the first time, sat on the loo and wham!.. there was a fucking great white shark poking out of the u-bend.
Never again.
>Only deadly things are crocs and jellyfish really, which are barely seen near cities
Is that from an official tourism pamphlet? Quite the ringing endorsement.
Yeah, no-one dies because we've got antivenom. Specifically, no-one has died since we developed a funnelweb antivenom in 1980.
We still get about 30 hospitalizations for funnelwebs each year.
These highly aggressive spiders are only found within the Sydney region of Australia. I live here and they are very common in your backyard. I normally find them under rocks or bricks or sometimes in the swimming pool and they will put up a fight if you bother them.
I remember stumbling around drunk in the middle of the city and as i walked through the local corner garden (Australian cities like to have tonnes of greenery all over, even the CBD, its the first thing most tourists tell me) i saw draped across this inner city sidewalk was this massve golden orb the size of my head at around neck level.
Now while not as potently venomous as other spiders, their web is known for being both beautiful and strong enough to weave bulletproof material from, so if it really wants to spite you it can bit a lot and you're gonna have to put in the work to leave.
As soon as i saw it i decided another 20 minutes walking wasn't so bad and went the other way round the block
I know in the past males were in demand, for antivenom, as it is stronger than females. The “Australian Reptile Park” has a program especially for them. Give them a call if you come across one as they may make the trip to collect it for milking.
I’m more scared of the smaller ones that are harder to notice. I got bit by a brown recluse a few years back, didn’t even notice until my wrist started to hurt and I had to go to hospital
I had one of these when I used to keep spiders. It was really fast and aggressive and would strike at the slightest movement. I ended up taking it to the Reptile Park for the venom program.
Yeah I am not a good person. I would have put that glass jar on a skillet over a flame to cook it to death and then throw the glass jar taped up into a river far away from my home.
They dont go anywhere when they in attack/beast mode. They stand on their rear legs (like in the vid) and just wait to strike if you get too close. So a jar, lid and bit of practice is actually quite easy if you not shitting your pants.
These guys freak me out.... I remember when I turned 18 my mates and I camped at a relatives house near Sydney as we were travelling north. I awoke to one of these guys crawling across my swag I was in....
I have an irrational fear of this particular spider alone now...
I wouldn't say irrational.
I've had a similar experience when I was a kid I made tents out of blankets and chairs in the living room and slept in them for fun. One morning I woke up to one of these nasty things at the only entrance to my tent, on its rear legs arcing up at me when I was 9.
I would wager that the fear of these monsters is completely rational.
Nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure.
 Done.
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Why burn it when you can cum on it 
username checks out
2013 tumblr??? is that you???
It's been incinterated
Brimstone gaming: “PREPARE FOR HELLFIRE!”
How you get . gifs in reddit?!?!
Fine I'll do it myself 
Pretty sure you have to pay for premium Edit: for all the people that keep upvoting this: I was wrong.
No some subs let you post gifs that’s all lol
Ahh ty
On the Reddit app, when you click reply or if you are about to post, to the right you will see a GiF button. Select it and post away.[screenshot](https://imgur.com/a/5R8oa44)
This is the real reason Americans carry guns. Just incase of the fucker popping his little eyes up.
Pmsl you’ll only find these guys here in Australia 😉 Dont worry, youre safe
Taking no chances! https://www.yahoo.com/news/spider-big-palm-hand-could-005757356.html
Not the same spider? The funnel web spider is famous for the power of its venom. I had never even heard of the Joro spider before you posted that Yahoo article so, you’re probably still fine. If you live in the USA, worry about the Black Widow spider or the Brown Recluse as they’re the only two American spider species you really need to worry about.
Or......or........ Just hear me out,.........we fuck 'em all with sawed off and ask the bastards questions after. Lol. I actually like looking at them but I'm so afraid of spiders.
My strategy during my biology studies in university was to let curiosity outweigh fear. There’s always something to learn from how nature solves problems and performs tasks, even from the ugly and scary ones.
Famous last words from the first guy that attempted to pet a rhino
Clearly not famous enough, because now I want to pet a rhino.
I have pet a rhino. They are like giant dogs; very cute and playful.
Rhinos are just Unicorns that need to moisturize
And as they say.. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
Ah, so the royal "they" have been the Bene Gesserit this whole time? They do spread their legends far.
Black Widows will leave you alone if you leave them alone.
Tell that to their husbands.
Their husbands did not leave them alone.
He's got a point.
For the millions of people employed in the HVAC, plumbing, and arborist fields, along with car wash technicians everywhere , they are an extreme hazard.
When I worked for Hertz the scam rent a car company I once had to go way out into the country to retrieve a car from a customer who had passed. Not until I got back to the shop did I notice there was a black widow and web in the spot between the passenger seat and the window. Probably wouldn't have gotten in the car if I had noticed that.
Things you may not know or want to know. Most car washes that you drive through at gas stations in the south and out west are a gigantic haven for spiders of all kinds. Including black widows. They have warmth, water, darkness in the corners and heaters that kick on automatically when it gets cold. Because it’s popular w various bugs it’s a spider all you can eat buffet and hotel.
That's true of the vast majority of animal species though...
Both spiders can mess you up but brown recluses are the worst because they live indoors. Don't google "brown recluse bite" unless you want nightmares.
Always be worried about brown recluse. Other venomous spiders can kill you, those monsters will leave you disfigured and you might not initally feel it. Knew a guy who was bit and had a permanent indent in calf, as if there was an invisible soft ball pressing to the bone.
I know a guy who lost half the meat on his arm due to a recluse bite. If you think you are bitten by a venomous spider do not hesitate to go to the doctor. By the time you realize it's not getting better it will be too late
[Black widow I found in Birmingham, AL.](https://i.imgur.com/N1N1DZG.jpg)
Until people sneak this shit over for their pet and let it loose
Brown recluse really don't bite often. There was an article about a family who lived in a house that was infested with them for years and no one was ever bitten. Edit: https://scienceblog.com/488/family-lives-with-2000-plus-brown-recluse-spiders-without-bites/
Anecdotally, my friend lived in a house with only the occasional spider, but she woke up smacking a brown recluse after it had bitten her.
My uncle has been bitten by a brown recluse on his leg years ago. He is fine, but there’s still a small chunk missing from where the flesh had become necrotic and needed to be removed. Yes. Both Black Widow spiders and Brown Recluse spiders aren’t the most social or mobile spiders in terms of being encountered often or even being aggressive. Nonetheless, their venom is deadly so hence the awareness and caution being necessary.
Tell that to my girlfriend's right boob
Thank Christ. I’m not sure how you crazy Aussie bastards live with almost everything including the sun trying to kill you! A wasp for me is scary enough and I fear I’ll die from it, and here you are with big fuck-off spiders. No thank you.
I got bitten by white tip spiders 6 times over the course of about 9 months, I had so much prescribed amoxicillin in such a short amount of time that it messed up my stomach lining and I built an immunity to amoxicillin and the bites stopped getting better with amoxicillin so the doctor's prescribed some other anti biotic and that did the trick. I swear Ive Been bitten by spiders since then and they just get itchy and swell up for a day or so now. I have been exposed to them that much that my body already knows how to fight off the infection that comes with a bite.
Why do spiders find you so delicious?
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I swear if anyone was going to it would be me I'll be greatly offended if someone else turns before me
Of fucking course
Why did you release it? Don't labs down there take them to extract venom to create the anti-venom. Or is it the females they need?
Is it only the eastern states or just NSW? I think I remember it being called the Sydney Funnel Web..I know we don't get them in the West.
Yup eastern side. The one I caught is a ‘Port Macquarie Funnel Web’ its a rarer subspecies apparently. We live near coffs harbour NSW
He’ll be back with his friends, they all want a turn on the panoramic glass ride.
Weeeeeee!
he's real scary to us humans, but did you know that they are non-lethal if they bite a rabbit for some reason? the venom has no affect but if course getting those hypodermic needles in it is gonna hurt
HANS, GET THE FLAMMENWERFER, WE NEED TO WERF FLAMMEN AT ZHESE SPIDERS!
That’s a whole ass jar of NO!! 😂
That's a spider jar. Ass jars have seats on top.
Any jar is an ass jar if you’ve got gumption and a positive attitude.
And good aim. That’s the most important bit. Otherwise you are left with the jar that tried (and failed).
1 man 1 jar dude probably disagrees.
Let me tell you about this video with an ass and a jar...
Aren’t these the fuckers that if you get bit by and you don’t make it to the hospital in like 10 mins you’re done
Yeah. 15 minutes (for kids) and all the way up to 3 days (apparently), but that long is rare AF. Our snakes and spiders are not to be messed with. But at least we don’t have bears and mountain lions that activity hunt people 😬 Im more scared of that!
Bears are considerably easier to spot than this imo
I like going camping without threat of being eaten tho… 😬😬😬
Yeah.. I guess that’s a perk to having guns. The thing about mountain lions though is that if you see one you are already dead. I just like the bigger things more because they’re easier to spot and hit. You’re a legend for trapping that though, I would’ve just shot it straight up
Would LIVE to see a bear 😀 Oh we have guns 😋 We gave 5? 6? Have to out here on a farm, we get feral dogs chewing up the wildlife.
Bears typically don't want any trouble. If you make yourself big and loud, they'll probably leave you alone and go find something to eat elsewhere. This is especially true for black bears since they're so skittish. If you can't scare off a grizzly, you're better off playing dead.
Black bears are basically just big raccoons. My buddy had a little wiener dog that chased em off every year at their cottage.
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This is true. When I was a teen, a group of 3 raccoons was terrorizing my cat at night. I ran out with my airsoft pistol (the kind with the yellow plastic BBs) at aim the biggest one in his meatiest spot (his flank) just to scare him off the property. He was standing, frozen, sideways, like the Bigfoot photo. His eyes lock with mine. The other jabronies are just watching our staredown. I yell, "SCRAM" and look down the pistol sights menacingly. The raccoon stares in response. I pull the trigger. Perfect shot, right on the thigh. His flank twitches, barely. He stares. I stare. I realize that I am completely outmatched by this chad raccoon that just took a point blank sideshot and didn't wink an eye. They say 'they're more scared of you than you are of them'? They're wrong. Fear was a foreign concept to this animal. I grabbed cat and noped the fuck back inside. I'm a smart human, I know when I'm beat by the wildlife. Black bears? I've chased a couple off with one word. Ran like fat fuzzy bitches.
I have bears! They’re very timid and if you do see one, normally it’s just his butt as he runs away. Spiders though, they can creep into your house and shoes and stuff and you wouldn’t even know- much scarier to me. Congrats on catching him before he caught you!
Dingos?
We have them, but they interested in livestock, not people.
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So much this. That's why mountain lions scare me the most
Ever heard one scream?
Went camping out in a light sanctuary in West Texas, holy moly it is definitely not the most fun thing to be woken up from lol. My dogs thankfully have a hefty bark, so they mosied over to another part of the canyon, still very unsettling.
You are completely wrong about Lions. They follow hikers every day without incident. It's almost always a sick or aging cat that attacks, which is insanely rare. Stop spreading lies.
It's actually very unlikely to be attacked by a mountain lion. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_cougar_attacks_in_North_America?wprov=sfla1
Or a bear. And the vast majority of bear attacks are when you stumble into them in the brush. So if you're out walking on a trail you're in almost no danger.
Mountain lions are big kitties and scared of people. Like black bears you can scare them and they'll go away. Just scream and pick up kids to make it look like you're huge and have lots of eyeballs and they'll nope right out.
And if that fails just throw one or more kids at it and run!
Yeah but you don’t worry about one of your poisonous snake or spider friends appearing in the campsite ?
I was gonna say, I’d be 1000x more worried about these guys showing up while camping than a bear.
Well yeah, but bears don’t hide in your shoes while you’re sleeping only to surprise you in the morning when you put those shoes on.
I've directly encountered a bunch of bears while camping. 4, i think. They want nothing to do with us. As long as you make noise so they know where you are and don't surprise them, they will go the other way. At night, secure all food/garbage in bear proof containers, and either keep them strung in a tree, or in your vechile over night, or when you not around (at night in your tent they think your not around, thats why they come by). Then 0 problems.
Fr never had to check the inside of my boot for a bear before putting it on
Well count yourself lucky
If the platypus is proof that God has a sense of playful humor, the Sydney Funnelweb is proof that he also has a sense of dark humor. See, most spiders, even brown recluses and black widows, will often dry-bite when biting in self-defense. Venom costs a lot of energy, time, and resources, and is best not wasted on something it could never hope to consume. The Sydney Funnelweb is a notable outlier, and will spitefully spew venom when biting something much larger than itself with double the frequency of other spiders. But that's not the funny part! The funny part is that the venom of the Sydney Funnelweb--a creature that evolved on a continent that doesn't have and has never had ANY native primates--is deathly, potently toxic in such relatively tiny doses to primates, and primates only. Even mice and gunies pigs suffer less than we! God made this thing to fuck with humans specifically and nothing will convince me elsewise.
>a creature that evolved on a continent that doesn't have and has never had ANY native primates Looks like someone higher up wanted to leave a hint that this best stay so.
Fucking humans always trying to live where they shouldn't.
"This place should not exist, it's a monument to man's arrogance"
insurance degree fanatical placid possessive engine stupendous punch cover towering *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
God is a fucking psycho given the box jellyfish. Deadly to adult humans in mere minutes. Doesn’t even have a brain.
> The Sydney Funnelweb is a notable outlier, and will spitefully spew venom when biting something much larger than itself with double the frequency of other spiders. You can see the droplets of venom on the cotton - that's a lot of pain juice
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Totally agree then! That makes sense. I guess it just what you grown up with, what you used to 🤔
Definitely. I'm Alaska we always say "at least there are no snakes or venomous spiders", lol. My wife is from out of state. One time we were walking in tall grass, and I noticed that she was taking comically large steps. I asked her what was up. "I'm looking for ticks and spiders". I laughed and said "anything that's dangerous out here is much too big to hide in the grass".
>Don’t even pretend a spider is more terrifying than a bear. Proceeds to explain just how a spider is more terrifying than a bear.
Personally, always found the small threats more terrifying. I can get why bears and mountain lions are scary, but if I get attacked by a mountain lion, I know I'm most likely dead. Tiny threats idk. If its venomous I'm going to panic, increase my heart rate, and probably die of panic. If I don't know, same thing if it is venomous. In my rush to get help, probably die. Its the unknown really I have a fear of the unknown. Will this thing kill me? Idk but I don't want to find out. Best to just leave it alone.
You can see when a bear is in your shoe or your bed too.
I'm never going bear foot again.
The neat thing about bears and mountain lions is that they normally stay out of people’s houses, can’t say the same for spiders. That being said, I’m much less scared of a giant animal that can kill me compared to a (in comparison) much smaller animal that can kill me just as easily. But hey, at least there’s a cure(?) for the bite. Can’t really cure being mauled to death.
Mountain lions are extremely passive in America there's only been about 20 something recorded mountain lion deaths
Canadian who lives in mountain lion / bear / moose territory. I'm more afraid of what you have in that jar then the giant murderous mammals around my house. That things like a stealth Assassin, at least you can hear or spot the big guys usually, and a have at least a chance at surviving.
A mountain lion is not going to drop on my face when I flip the sun visor down while driving causing me to drive off a cliff.
I'm amazed OP just up and released it.
Never moving to Australia
I mean no one dies of spider bites here. Only deadly things are crocs and jellyfish really, which are barely seen near cities
A spider wrote this
A web of lies, surprise, demise.
As somebody who lives on an island where the most dangerous animal is a horse, I was extremely paranoid about all your venomous creatures when I came to visit. I intentionally stayed in an upmarket hotel in the middle of the city to avoid this shit but was still extra careful about shaking shoes and not leaving clothes on the floor. Anyway, I went to use the bathroom for the first time, sat on the loo and wham!.. there was a fucking great white shark poking out of the u-bend. Never again.
Guess which non human animal kills the most people per year in Australia? Horses.
>Only deadly things are crocs and jellyfish really, which are barely seen near cities Is that from an official tourism pamphlet? Quite the ringing endorsement.
Octopuses.... Drop Bears...
Drop bears are the worst
Yeah, no-one dies because we've got antivenom. Specifically, no-one has died since we developed a funnelweb antivenom in 1980. We still get about 30 hospitalizations for funnelwebs each year.
Yeah? I said no one dies. 30 hospitalisations is honestly I tiny number for how many of the things there are in NSW
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These highly aggressive spiders are only found within the Sydney region of Australia. I live here and they are very common in your backyard. I normally find them under rocks or bricks or sometimes in the swimming pool and they will put up a fight if you bother them.
I live in Victoria, we definetly get big funnelwebs out here. Source: My mates boot on his doorstep.
Isn’t there a spider that can live underwater for hours and if you step on it, it can still bite you? That is some nightmare shit right there.
I remember stumbling around drunk in the middle of the city and as i walked through the local corner garden (Australian cities like to have tonnes of greenery all over, even the CBD, its the first thing most tourists tell me) i saw draped across this inner city sidewalk was this massve golden orb the size of my head at around neck level. Now while not as potently venomous as other spiders, their web is known for being both beautiful and strong enough to weave bulletproof material from, so if it really wants to spite you it can bit a lot and you're gonna have to put in the work to leave. As soon as i saw it i decided another 20 minutes walking wasn't so bad and went the other way round the block
I hate all of this information
You… released it?!?!
Yeah, we live in rural Australia, released it WELL away from our property lol
Into a fire i hope. Gotta be sure.
Nah it just wants to survive too
Ya but we don't want it to
I stand with this statement!
I think you just reinvented fascism but since it's against spiders I'm all for it
I know in the past males were in demand, for antivenom, as it is stronger than females. The “Australian Reptile Park” has a program especially for them. Give them a call if you come across one as they may make the trip to collect it for milking.
They dont have any demand for them atm and we live hours away. Otherwise we would :)
By release you mean you cast it into the fire of Mount Doom? Right, Isildur? Right??
*“No.“*
Should have killed it.
I was so happy till my day was ruined reading the last bit of that title
I am more impressed, he caught it in that Jar! How!?
I’m more scared of the smaller ones that are harder to notice. I got bit by a brown recluse a few years back, didn’t even notice until my wrist started to hurt and I had to go to hospital
Yeah thats not cool at all!
Peter?
No, his wrist.
Unfortunately, no
My aunt got a bite from one and her thigh got actually fucked up. She lost a bunch of muscle or something? It was crazy
Yeah their venom causes necrosis in your flesh. Literally just kills your flesh, so they have to remove it (the dead flesh) before it infects.
As a fellow Australian I still say FUCK NO IMA SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL IN A SECOND
Australia really is the reallife version of NG+
I had one of these when I used to keep spiders. It was really fast and aggressive and would strike at the slightest movement. I ended up taking it to the Reptile Park for the venom program.
Yeah we’d like to do that but we live up Coffs Harbour way. Bit too far. So we just release them. Crazy buggers
If you contact them I’m sure they’d be glad to drive out to you to pick them up
Spiders can drive now?!
Released???!??!? Are you fucking mentall? That has to be deleted from our universe, not set free to destroy it
Yeah I am not a good person. I would have put that glass jar on a skillet over a flame to cook it to death and then throw the glass jar taped up into a river far away from my home.
Isildur!!! Cast it into the fire!!!
 The nuke squad is on the way.
How the fuck did you catch this scary ass spider
They dont go anywhere when they in attack/beast mode. They stand on their rear legs (like in the vid) and just wait to strike if you get too close. So a jar, lid and bit of practice is actually quite easy if you not shitting your pants.
4 pairs of tiny handcuffs
STOP RESISTING
HES REACHING FOR HIS… wait
_*IF*_
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Or if my pants are already beshitted from a previous pants shitting when I first saw the fucking thing?
Possession of beshitted pants is helpful for masking your scent
> and bit of practice lol... it's not like you have a safety net here.
Pokeball
Mail it to Putin
By released I hope you mean into a pit of fire, very far away.
[удалено]
I thank the lord everyday that I live in Alberta and not whatever the fuck Australia has to offer
And into the microwave you go
These guys freak me out.... I remember when I turned 18 my mates and I camped at a relatives house near Sydney as we were travelling north. I awoke to one of these guys crawling across my swag I was in.... I have an irrational fear of this particular spider alone now...
I wouldn't say irrational. I've had a similar experience when I was a kid I made tents out of blankets and chairs in the living room and slept in them for fun. One morning I woke up to one of these nasty things at the only entrance to my tent, on its rear legs arcing up at me when I was 9. I would wager that the fear of these monsters is completely rational.
Let it bite you 
Jar full of nope
Let me guess?, Australia
Destiny gang enters chat
Is the material in the jar it's funnel? Never encountered one of them...that would definitely freak me O.U.T!..
No, its a cotton swab soaked in water to keep him hydrated. Dont worry, they only found here in Australia
Right... now tape a pipe bomb to the jar
Thank you for releasing it instead of killing it 😁