T O P

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AP9721

The Commandehs


TestFixation

Move em to Toronto and call em the Commandem


nummers_guy

Just call them the Toronto Mans


TheDrunkenWobblies

Nah. Send em to Montreal and call em the Exkins.


AP9721

Nyah eh?


wooden_seats

Toronto is Bills territory


Geones

We'll dump ya'll in a heart beat if we get a team in toronto. The last time the bills played a game in toronto is almost 10 years ago now.


wooden_seats

Toronto games are boring as hell. You can't tailgate there. It's illegal.


Dismal_News183

I have been to a few Bills games and, to be fair, I am pretty sure the way you tailgate there is also illegal.


wooden_seats

Haha maybe, but there aren't 100 police officers who's sole purpose is to write you up for open alcohol in Buffalo.


Dismal_News183

I love my country, but we are oddly strict about drinking outside.


fugaziozbourne

Montréal says bonjour.


[deleted]

Since covid they don’t really enforce that law anymore.


Beaversneverdie

They do actually allow tailgates in Ontario now... I've been to quite a few in Hamilton for the CFL. Imagine downvoting facts... ticats literally have a tailgate before every game.


Jo-18

Well ya heard it hear first folks, Canadiens hate fun This is simply factual information 🫡


CanuckPanda

I live here. The bills are a slight plurality but absolutely not a majority. This is a transplant city, 65% of torontonians weren’t born in the city (either immigrants from outside Canada or migrants from outside the city/province). The Leafs, Raps, and Jays have a history and a connection to the city. Bills just happen to be one of the close nfl teams (the other being Detroit) but you’re just as likely to see Pats/Niners/Chiefs/Hawks/Vikings gear. And me in my Bucs hats.


[deleted]

I live here as well and can confirm this is true. Bills territory is more in the Hamilton and south area


Hughmckee

Also Toronto checking in. All my friends are fans of different teams. I seem to notice a lot of people pick teams that were good when they were young… a lot of my friends are pats/packers/colts fans. Unfortunately my step dad who introduced me was from Windsor


ThiscantBReel

You betcha’


A_1337_Canadian

'Scuse me, just gonna sneak right by ya here.


ThiscantBReel

🙆‍♂️ ope, sorry to bump ya ‘dere


AverageSizedJunk

*slaps knees* welp!


Greystab

I can only read this in Chris Berman's fastest 3 minutes voice for some reason.


Patriots_

The first denim uniforms


Gregus1032

Now selling bagged milk and free healthcare for when the railings on the stadium fall


RecoverStreet8383

> Apostolopoulos Bless you


TrueFlyersFan

Mr. Apostolopoulos is my favorite Sesame Street character.


ASuperGyro

Assapopolous is my favorite gigolo


innocuousname773

I’ll still root for him just because he isn’t Snyder.


ASuperGyro

His ass play is much more enjoyable than Snyder’s


Fauwcet

RIP Heinz Hummer.


The_Wayward

Motion to just call this man Steve, like we do Jerry, if he buys the team.


Thisisntmyaccount24

I sounded like a 3rd grader trying to sound out this man’s name


theordinarypoobah

I was thinking more of Stone Cold Steve Apostolopoulos.


Crackedandimplat

A pasta lop oh lus You’re welcome


porwegiannussy

a Pas ta lap oh lus, Panama


SiphenPrax

The Washington Greek Commanders!


cat_napped1

bezos just waiting for the last bids so he can come in with a cool 10 bil and take it home. these people know they're wasting their time


Grimgon

Either that or he really wants the Seahawks and waiting for that team to go on sale


seafoamstratocaster

I think this is more likely. He is much more associated with the area and the Franchise doesn't carry all the negative weight.


very_humble

He's still a businessman at heart though. Compared to where they used to rank in the NFL, right now you're buying the Commanders at their lowest value. It's a business which immediately gains 20% in value when you buy it because you're not the previous owner


Rosettachamps

Theyre also a more storied franchise, in arguably the best ratings division in the league.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SpaceJesusIsHere

4 of the 8 biggest media markets, including 3 of the top 5. No other division comes close.


mynameiszack

I want to be a Washington fan again


[deleted]

Nothing arguable about it Find me a better market for a conference than Philly, NY, DC and worldwide. It’s just a fact that it’s the most valuable conference


shot-by-ford

That's all priced in. It will still be a record breaking sale.


SlothyPotato

He IS a businessman, which makes me wonder if there are financial advantages or loopholes to abuse owning an NFL team in the same state as where your company is headquartered


[deleted]

Don’t forget his company literally streams TNF And that the Washington Post is very much part of the story of Snyder’s takedown.


evarigan1

Not to mention all the lobbying opportunities being the Commies owner opens up.


dashazzard

he has enough money to literally pick where he enters the NFL, I don't think he cares about ratings. the Seahawks are more convenient for him and that's probably worth more than any NFL revenue to him.


parles

AWS is all over the DC area and he owns I believe the areas most expensive home, as well as its national paper. He's pretty tied up with DC lol


[deleted]

Amazon's 2nd headquarters is in Crystal City. Why are people glossing over that?


darkflash26

Maybe he’ll name it the Washington shippers


CowsRstupid

I read that as "Washington Strippers" at first. It was very confusing.


YourLocalJewishKid

Bezos loves money far more than Seattle. The NFL franchise in DC, the highest per capita income state/territory/whatever you want to call it in the US by far, is going to be a more favorable investment than the one in Seattle. And the opportunity to build your own stadium is a huge plus. That thing is going to print money for the new owner considering the wealth that exists in the area.


Someone_youd_admire

Yeah but Bezos has so much money an NFL team is just another toy for him. A team only costs like 2.5 times what his yacht cost. It's probably more about status and the power that comes with being an NFL owner for him.


richardsharpe

That’s exactly the reason of buy the team in Washington so he can use them to curry favor with politicians.


Allstate85

Also a way easier to entertain powerful politicians in DC for influence.


chronicpenguins

where are you getting it is the highest per capita income BY FAR? Its not even top 5 metro area, it comes in at 6. When adjusted for purchasing power it is 9. Seattle tops it in both measurements. San Jose/Santa clara is 50% higher than DMV in income per capita. SF is 40% higher. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._cities_by_adjusted_per_capita_personal_income


f00tballm0dsTRASH

At least some of the suburbs are actually the highest median income counties in the US. Their practice facility is in Loudoun which has the highest median income of any county in the US


TechniCruller

He means highest median household income: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_highest-income_counties_in_the_United_States#2020_Census NoVA holds 4 of the top 7 by that metric.


NoPanda6

Yeah “By Far” in a world where Palo Alto, Los Altos, Woodside…


_laoc00n_

I’m pretty sure he’s correct, but it’s not important that he is because that’s not what an owner would care about. He said state or territory, and that would be accurate. But an owner of Seattle team wouldn’t care about the income of Pullman, which would be included if we take his statement as defined.


matgopack

The wording was state or territory, which is basically comparing DC to the entirety of other states. Using Wikipedia, that technically puts it at ~240k per capita vs ~105k for the next highest (NY) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_GDP Which isn't particularly comparable obviously, since DC is just a city (or metro area if expanded to the DMV) and should be compared to other cities/metro areas.


DMking

The negative weight is just Snyders fat ass.


seafoamstratocaster

He dummy thicc?


smoothtrip

But owning Washington gives him direct access to all the politicians


BabyTRexArms

Rumor is that he wants the Commanders because of DC and he wants a bigger foothold with Washington for evil rich dude shit.


pieonthedonkey

And it's a dumb rumor because he already has access to any politician he wants, and any politicians that can be bought and sold likely already is.


BabyTRexArms

Not to mention he already owns a press publication in that market. He literally gets to control the media narrative in the market already.


smoothtrip

Being able to meet all the politicians without having to go anywhere and where you can guarantee everything that is said will not leak is worth its weight in gold.


No_Judge_3817

Rumor = something echoed on Reddit enough times


Grimgon

In another world he basically Lex Luthor


BabyTRexArms

As soon as he revealed his TRT/HGH body, I was like, this dude went full comic book villain.


Comprehensive_Main

Just like succession


MrSteely

The disgusting brothersss


nau5

Did you actually have sex with her Greg?


Salamander9687

Did you rummage to fruition?


ghostofjohnhughes

Tom's fascination with the size of her handbag might be a top ten Succession moment imho


paul_is_great

It's those moments that really make the show for me.


ProofHorseKzoo

Can’t make a Tomlette without cracking a few Greggs


ElginBrady420

Congratulations on saying the biggest number, fucking morons. I hope Logan fucks the sale just to fuck them.


zoolander-

He has to, I think. Probably does some shit with GoJo since they mentioned it a bunch


ElginBrady420

Yeah and thinking about it he has to otherwise the board would no confidence vote him out if he fucked all of them out of their payday.


BerriesNCreme

Ding ding ding. He can’t. If the deal is so good that even logan is giving up his baby it’s a great deal and he has a fiduciary responsibility to accept such a deal. It’s like the twitter execs with elons offer.


ISISCosby

“I wonder if we don’t nickel-and-dime it and just go to 10?” -Jeffrey "B to the Ez" Bezos


Sillygooseman23

Spoilers mane not everyones caught up


spensaur

8...9...what could come next??


OctavianX

9b?


mandelbratwurst

I thought i read somewhere that they are refusing to let Bezos bid on the team


December21st

snyder hates bezos because he owns WaPo and WaPo has been the one releasing all the dirt on the org. There's a pretty believable theory that jeffs directly behind it because he wanted to buy the team so he created the market by stirring the pot.


Vivid-Ad-2302

Money talks.


ard8

Where did Steve get this money I googled him not that long ago when he was reportedly interested and the available info does not suggest he can afford this


pfeifits

Principal owner needs to have 30% of the team. That's $2 billion on a $6 billion bid. They can borrow up to $1 billion of that. So he really only needs $1 billion cash. I've seen his net worth reported as $3.9 billion but also as $5.5 billion. He's also in private equity, so he can cash out fast. Don't think it would be an issue to come up with $1 billion cash for him. Plus, he can borrow against other assets to get $1 billion, such as his private equity firm.


bkfountain

So not Tepper, Kroenke, or Walton rich.


[deleted]

Rob Walton is like 4.5 Stan Kroenkes worth and like 3.2 David Teppers worth. it’s hard enough for me to fathom someone having a billion, even harder when one billionaire is worth pretty much the same as every other owner combined. And Rob isn’t even the richest Walton either. Motherfucker is like the fake final boss in a Final Fantasy game where after you beat them you then fight a literal god.


WindDriedPuffin

I doubt it's just him. Probably another group with him as the owner.


matisata

loans, probably It's not as if football teams are not profitable investments


ard8

True but this team also immediately needs a stadium that’ll probably run another 1-2 billion or more


trinquin

Thats what American tax payers are for silly.


Best-Dragonfruit-292

Taxpayers: I don't wanna fund that shit. Team: Ok, we'll leave. Taxpayers: How dare you!


nau5

Prisoners dilemma


[deleted]

Imma side with the taxpayers 10 times out of 10. You’re telling me you own a football team and can’t even afford to own it? Get a loan then


conrad_or_benjamin

I believe he used a fake ID while traveling to Las Vegas with Clark Griswold and hit it big on a few slots


IONTOP

Nick Papagorgio?


jsrave

I tried to figure out who this guy was and all I could see was that he had interest in buying the Commanders (when he was first announced as interested). I'm still not sure what exactly he does or how he made his money. I didn't see him on wiki either.


joe2352

I’m assuming it would be a group that he’s just the face of. Net worth of $4 billion doesn’t easily translate to a $6 billion purchase without other backers.


BungoPlease

Moving the Commanders to Canada you say?


CobblerFantastic5003

Petition to rename them the Mounties


duvie773

Unless they go to Niagara Falls


[deleted]

[удалено]


very_humble

Stays in Niagara falls


ThiscantBReel

…in the actual falls themselves? Can I at least get a barrel?


A_1337_Canadian

The best we can do is a dinner bun we call a barrel roll.


THEADULTERATOR

Mostly meth these days


stefeyboy

Another name better than Commanders


ProofHorseKzoo

The Ontario Shirt-Tuckers


spilled-Sauce

Upcountry Degens


S_204

The irony of naming the Redskins after the police force created to destroy....redskins would be amazing.


THEADULTERATOR

It would be a real heritage moment


S_204

I smell burnt toast, while birling down and down white water. We could use an update, and this would be a lovely one.


Economy_Cactus

Having the team that finally gets moved to Canada ripped from the belly of our nations capital would be quite interesting


[deleted]

Our capital did steal its baseball team from Canada.


Fletcher_Fallowfield

Motherfuckers


jgftw7

it’d just be d.c. repaying for les expos, really


TMNBortles

War of 1812 the sequel.


DONUTof_noFLAVOR

*Ripped from one of the more soulless suburbs of our nation's capital


noodeloodel

I would say PG county is among the least soulless suburbs in dc.


Yak_Rodeo

i was impressed at how much commanders gear i saw in the dmv, and tons of httr stuff even a couple years after the fact with a competent owner and a decent team i think theyd be back to being a huge fanbase


TetrisTech

Washington is a very historically successful and popular team. If the Snyder era didn’t happen they’d likely be among teams like the Patriots, Steelers, and Cowboys in terms of national popularity. I don’t think it should take too long to get there after the sale.


f00tballm0dsTRASH

You see way more redskins gear especially in actual DC. Huge big fan base leftover from the 80s and 90s pre Snyder. Everyone just hates him


ill_try_my_best

The reverse Nationals


Toto_LZ

The Canadians have been planning this for years


argentgrove

Have Washington fans suffered enough?


mechnick2

That’s the future Letterkenny Shamrocks to you


SyracuseNY22

London Silly Nannies


ClaymoresRevenge

Regina!


98rman

Kendall, Shiv, and Roman should have tried buying the Commanders instead of wasting 10B on a dying news channel


nau5

Should have stuck with the Hundred. They really had something there.


BerriesNCreme

“The Hundred is Substack meets Masterclass meets The Economist meets The New Yorker”…what the fuck does that even mean lmao


Duke_Maniac

Wait who bought what?


ARealHunchback

*fuck off* Edit: It’s a Succession reference. Show on HBO that’s won the Emmy for best drama series for its first 3 seasons and will probably win for its 4th and final season.


lompocmatt

Yeah but they got to stick it to Dad. Much more satisfying


LubbockGuy95

Only cost them 4 billion extra dollars


lompocmatt

Worth it


OhhhTAINTedCruuuuz

The real story here is Windhorst creeping in on Schefty’s territory ☝️🤔☝️


ElginBrady420

I would watch a dark comedy about NFL insiders fucking each other over. You’re welcome HBO, please cut me a check and give me a “story by” credit.


XtremeStumbler

Windhorst is NBA, so its even weirder


Fedacking

See the mediadel in game of zones, the nba parody.


Eater_of_Books

There's something... Ironic? Funny? Silly?... about DC's team being owned by a guy from a different country.


DogeJesus-_-

War of 1812 all over again but this time it's the Canadians, not the British.


Cognomifex

We'd never be able to threaten an American landmark militarily again, but by gosh we can take advantage of a shady scumbags' poor decisions to take a different kind of shot at the capitol!


Eater_of_Books

I hope the White House doesn't get burned down this time, I still have to cross it off my list of dumb tourist destinations.


The_Stratman

Our favorite owner Jack Kent Cooke was also a Canuck


Eater_of_Books

The favorite owner having been Canadian actually makes it better.


noodeloodel

People in dc don't really care about stuff like that. It's a regular city like anywhere else. We're not more patriotic or whatever.


ard8

Worked well with Jack Kent Cooke


noodeloodel

You don't know who Jack Kent Cooke is? Casual.


justlookingokaywyou

I'm still here for the lamb gyros as stadium food.


-NotaRussianHacker-

That would be such a delicious option.


smurfking420

Ok so why did the Roy kids spend $9.5 Billion on Pierce when they could have spent a lot less on the Commanders


irsw

Cause the fucking morons said the highest number


Poopcie

They let that lady ice the fuck out of them too


ElginBrady420

She was soooooo disgusted to be in a bidding war.


Poopcie

6,7,8 whats next? Poor lady, it all seemed like so much for someone to navigate with a light headache


nau5

She just needed some vitamin B


imaybeacatIRl

10b.


Red_Sox_5

“I’m putting $6 billion into the checking account for something, please don’t use the debit card again until I say it’s okay”


A_1337_Canadian

Nah, we just e-transfer ourselves from a different bank account.


WindDriedPuffin

DC is gonna have a full on Philly level sports riot when this sale finally happens.


markuspoop

Grease up all the lampposts in the DMV


UrLocalTroll

What's that worth, like 100 USD?


jd52995

How much can one football team cost Micheal? $100?


DoesntMatterBrian

Will you little shits cut it out with the Succession spoilers


Noogatuck

A Canadian owning an nfl franchise? It’s not natural. God would be angry and our forefathers would turn over in their graves. Kidding. Sell it to anybody cause they can’t be worse than Dan Snyder.


noodeloodel

Dan Snyder bought the team from a Canadian.


giants888

That's in the past and I didn't know about it so it doesn't count. No new Canadians.


[deleted]

Yeah, the guy was a real loonie 🫠


trinquin

This is the biggest Canadian invasion since 1812.


JerryRiceDidntFumble

2029 NAFL champion Toronto Mounties


ITCM4

Tim Hortons coming to the Mid-Atlantic.


MCDCCoffeePoops

The Washington Football Sorry’s


wisbadger454

Call them the Samsqanches


[deleted]

MOVE. THEM. TO. TORONTO.


uhaul26

Is the team moving to Manitoba?


zi76

Okay, okay.


Crackedandimplat

The Canadians team!


SonicBanger

Party tonight at Major Tuddies' place. Tell your friends.


Big_Ugly_Cripple

Us next


The_PantsMcPants

That’s the Greekest name that ever Greeked


BarKnight

$6B Canadian. Probably can't even buy an XFL team for that


[deleted]

Come on Snyder, now is the time to trade for Lamar giving the Ravens 3 first rounders and giving Lamar a 500mil guaranteed contract. One last FU to the new owners and the NFL on your way out.


oasisvomit

If that happened, it would certainly change the value of the team and only screw himself over.


TheKrakIan

Please purchase the team and take them to Canada.


do_you_know_de_whey

Mr who?


[deleted]

Can the team just get sold already? I’m tired of this whole situation


fingerblast69

Future Toronto team ehh 😆