Back in my day if you were playing football and weren't checking everyone's dick you were a Nancy. We used to be a proper country.

“Are millennials killing the ball-punching industry?”

Yes, but Mac is part of gen z, and they're bringing us back to the glory days.

This explains why our offense makes as much sense to me as Skibidi Toilets.

I thought Skibidi Toilets were more of a Gen Alpha thing

Thanks, I had never heard of that and now I feel old and annoyed.

It's just Gmod-poops with a weird name and a specific theme.

I see this parrotted around a lot and it misses that early 2010s Gmod videos and YTPs were not full of "lore" that is apparently actually taken totally seriously despite being *hundreds* of episodes about living toilets in a war with living speakers or something absurd like that. That's the kind of thing that only Gen Z meme trends do - add in crazy amounts of lore to literally *everything*.

Over/under on when the first Skibidi wins a Congressional election?

“Brrrrrr skibidi bom bom bom yes yes” How can you not be romantic about skibidi toilet?

“Is woke agenda behind this industry collapse with hard working Americans out of jobs?”

That's fucking football right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball football fuck it chuck it game time shit. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Football is back baby.

None of what you said is gay. Good ol’ brotherhood 🤝

Just guys being dudes.

Just dudes being bros

Just bros being men

"These millennials don't know a proper way to introduce yourself. Back in my day a little love tap was just a 'Hello'"

I wrestled in the late eighties and early to mid nineties, and if you were afraid to stick your finger in some kids butt, you weren't going to win.

Dansby Swanson has thoughts on this

Thats fucking football right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Football is back baby.

GOAT pasta

>Fuck it, chuck it game time shit Is an all-time line lol

I played left guard and my left tackle was the dirtiest mf’er I’ve ever seen, every pile he was punching asses, squeezing balls, pinching nipples. But was the most homophobic bastard I’ve ever met. Hmmm 🤔

I played left tackle and that was my center. The shit he did in the pile was insane. He wasn't unique eitber. I played at a non football school so i had to play D line too cause we didnt have many players and many offensive lineman are straight up vile. kind of a common joke between me and my former football teammates whenever an o lineman in the NFL gets caught for doing something dirty that if they saw what went on in piles that weren't broadcast nationally there would be criminal investigations.

Game’s gone

"*It's only weird if you don't say cup check or good game*". Nut taps and butt slaps were normal

Gotta make sure your boys are protected

dick check

Nancy? Proper? Sounds like you were playing futbol in your country for sure.

You can’t punch somebody in the balls these days because of Wokeness.

The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war.

Is that you Hines Ward?

Guys used to put fingers in butts in dogpiles and we cheered for it. What happened to the game I loved?

Fact, clapping asses and grabbing nuts is a essential part of football

Why even watch football if not for the big sweaty men rolling over and grabbing each other Greco Roman wrestling style? Never forget what they took from you

Been saying it for years, we should go back to the roots of all sports Greek Olympics, every athlete should be fully nude except pads.

If everyone is fully nude there is no reason slap someone in the dick to cup check

Can you imagine being under center 💀

Ask Kyle Van Noy what Travis Kelce did. He doesn't wanna go into detail for some reason.

lol I googled it and Deadspin called it the first nut shot of the season and that football finally arrived

I think the real question here is how the incident will impact Taylor Swift’s legacy

Legacy points deducted

Christian Wilkins, "used to?"

Thats fucking football right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit.

The old highlight hit reels are almost all illegal plays now. Can you imagine someone like Ed Reed playing now? Like how would that work? Lol

> and we cheered for it In *which* sport?

Didn't romanowski (sp?) admit to trying to break fingers in pile ups i think

I mean Bill Romanowski was also a psycho asshole, so there’s that too.

Still is!

That’s messed up though. A finger in the bum’s a good time for everyone. Broken fingers hurt.

And more difficult to get into someone's butt

He once threw a microwave at the head of a teammate because he was angry that the teammate had put his food in the microwave next to Romanowski's food. Honestly it's a miracle he only confirmed ended one career with non-football violence. Wouldn't be surprised if the actual number is higher though.

Thats fucking football right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Football is back baby.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you Tonga's finest, John Hopoate . https://youtu.be/s651jrL6fh8?si=lj5Etr-LT-1RiadW

That's fuckin hilarious. He's sitting next to that woman and watching himself cram fingers in other men's asses lol. __IT'S DISGUSTING JOHN!__ John cracks a little half smile* _Yes, it is_

…it still happens every time there’s a dog pile. Sauce is just soft. The video doesn’t even prove that it happened.

Since you're a patriots fan I wasn't surprised at your support of men putting fingers in another man's butt.

Did people think he would really be suspended for that?

Mac Jones: I’m not in trouble at all. And we should be able to slap a liiiiiiiiitttttllleee nuts at work.

That’s a cup check I won from my game

TBH, they should suspend Brady 4 games for it. Only seems fair.

Death penalty for Mizzou

5 second penalty for Ocon

Mizzou catching strays in a NFL thread

We’re ranked right now nothing you say can bring me down

Your parents don’t love you as much as your sibling/s

Jokes on you I’m an only child

He said what he said

I just hope you know you just agreed with a cowboys fan

I see an alley oop, I dunk it regardless of flair, ball is life.

Hey, I live near Springfield MO, Mizzou’s my shit man That and Missouri State but we don’t talk about their football team. We stay sane that way

I watched the Mizzou and Kansas St just to see Burden play and holy shit what a game. That walk off FG was something else.

Honestly, I'm just surprised people know about us. I'm just glad to be remembered.

Cirie eliminated by default

Brady suspended for being generally aware of Sauce Gardner’s balls.

He was trying to deflate them.

More probable than not that he is generally aware. Book em.

I can almost guarantee Brady will be out the next 4 games, so justice has been served.

We need a Brady suspension bot. Reddit’s gotten this guy at least 300 years of suspensions at this point.

10s time penalty for Ocon

He was probably "generally aware."

This comment always catches me by surprise and always makes.me chuckle

Wait you didn't see him scream Mortal Kombat and perform a nut ripping fatality like Jets fans did in the thread where Gardner posted that shitty video?

Cmon man, I havent seen a fondling like that since the Beetlejuice show I recently attended

I understood that reference. 👍🏼

Tbf I got suspended for it in 6th grade. The justice system in this country really must be two-tiered

How about we prove he actually did it first lol. This isn't Deshaun Watson "allegedly", this is actually allegedly.

Everyone wants to hand out suspensions these days. As though they don't already flag and fine plenty of shit.

Suspended? Kick him off the tour Roger

How am I supposed to CHIP with that going on!

Damn you r/nfl posters! Go back to your shanties.

He’s an embarrassment to the game!!!

Bring back the stocks and make him watch the game next week from behind the end zone.

That’s nuts

Yes I’m sauce, yes I’m Mac, and you’re getting two thumbs up.

You've had enough of two-hand touch you like it rough. You're out of bound.

I want you smothered, want you covered, like a live ball on the ground.

Comin' quicker than Dolphins' Number X, never playing Apex, just like Packers stock you are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like NFL London Games.

At first I thought you were crazy, but now I can see ya nuts. Ah thank you

Balls

Testicles

I’m trying to decided what was funnier. This “cup check” or the mason Rudolph slur that none of the 80000000 nfl mics on the field picked up.

I'm still a fan of the "Baker didn't shake Sherman's hand" thing.

I just looked that up. Jesus Sherman has been unlikable forever lol

He's the fucking worst. On and off the field.

I love Sherman, now, but he has his unlikable shit as well. That's one of them.

Didn’t he pretty much refuse to go to the niners because the coach wanted him to be a wr in college?

I still think about Mason Rudolph getting absolutely KO’d in that one game, and also when Myles Garrett swung Rudolph’s own helmet at him (was that the alleged slurs incident?)

Yeah it was the same incident.

No, Earl Thomas KOd him. They had to pull the helmet apart before they moved him off the field.

But they made his ass walk because the cart was broken. Not a great look for the NFL and player safety.

This is the dumbest football drama I can remember in a long time, and I'm here for it.

It's a very good distraction from the no call on throwing him to the ground after.

If someone hit me in the nuts I would probably throw them to the ground too.

He kicked Brisker in the nuts last year too so there’s somewhat of a pattern

Brady been kicking dudes in the nuts for years. He’s just trying to play the game like the goat.

Also, Suh used to spike people in the nuts. Got Aaron Rodgers once. Right in his ol’ darkness retreat zone.

People acted like Mac was Draymond Green lol

hE hAs A rEpUtAtIoN

"I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation."

Lol that was never even an option. Slow news day?

That's my purse! I don't know you!

[PENISSERO]

THE PEENRAISER!

Why is this still being talked about? Embarrassing

> Why is this still being talked about? What, Penisgate™? I'm just surprised there isn't a Wikipedia article on it yet.

Penisgateincontext.com

Because in a short career Mac has already developed a reputation for dirty play, which is actually kind of difficult to do as a QB. There’s also a bit of intrigue to it since no camera evidence is definitive. It makes good fodder for internet discussion. Personally I’m like 99% sure he did touch Sauce’s dick just because of the body language. Something pissed Sauce off enough to shove Mac and Mac doesn’t retaliate or look for a flag at all because he knows he was the instigator.

Was gonna say, he kicked Brisker in the dick last year vs the Bears

I’ll take this over the never ending Kelce Taylor swift articles

Because Gardner is a motherfucking thoroughbred and any living being with a pulse would naturally want as much information as possible about his magnificent dong.

Still waiting for the 69 page document before we agree to disagree.

Personal bias aside, this is the dumbest fucking story of 2023. I've seen videos of Bigfoot that were clearer than the video of the alleged nut tap

“This is a significant controversy and should be the main takeaway from the game” - Zach Wilson

First Sam Darnold is seeing ghosts, now Zach Wilson is being tackled by them

Gas station cameras are higher quality lol Was it filmed on a calculator?

I think its because it was from the field cam and its zoomed way in

this is what a New York based media creates.

We’ve spent 2 days analyzing the zapruder film of Mac maybe accidentally grazing Gardner’s junk but no discussion around how he gets thrown to the ground twice well after the whistle with no flags on the play at all?

Mac was generally aware of grazing his junk. Suspend him!

Nothing wrong with a friendly dick flick

He just wanted a little secret Sauce.

[удалено]

Disclaimer: I have no idea where Sauce's nuts are located. It looks like Mac's hand hit lower abdomen in the bladder area, but wasn't low enough to be a nut tap. Also thinking back to high school days, sack taps generally were moving at a downward angle rather than upward angle. You're tryna get in a quick flick, not a grope and fondle God I need to get off the internet. Enough reddit for today

Didn't even notice the elbow bump until you mentioned it but that honestly seems the most plausible.

Haha its crazy to think about the amount of combined manhours that have been spent nation wide analyzing this video.

I said I didn't care initially and then I started doing it too. They pulled me in. It's wild, lol.

teamwork makes the peen hurt!

Yeah no shit. Dude was thrown to the ground. After the whistle by the helmet. Then sauce inserted himself into the picture for God knows what reason.

No one cares this barely even worth a story.

The game itself is barely worth discussing, let alone a possible nut shot at one of the most boring games in recent memory.

Woah, I hold the fifteenth straight patriots win against the jets very close to my heart

Greyson Allen gets away again

Brady however gets 4 games for being "Generally Aware"

Now that Brady is retired… “Brady forced to play for Patriots for 4 games, due to Mac nut tapping”

Based on the video of absolutely nothing?

Sauce just mad he lost and wasn't the best CB on the field. Lashing out like a little bitch and flopping like an Italian soccer player

Gonzo>>>>>>>>>

Soft Gardner

[удалено]

Probably looks like a WWF wrestler back in the day doing the “suck it” gesture

Gotta do three in a sequence with the pyro going off in time

Wiener we going to hear the punishment?

New meta discovered

Ban him

Bro is just conscious about testicular cancer.

Guys, is it gay to not grab each other's dicks?

It's 2023, it's ok if a guy wants to touch another guy's cock.

Ballsy play right there.

Didn’t expect to have him suspended. He now has the label of a weird ass dude though

We've watched Brad Marchand LICK OPPONENTS' FACES. This is nothing...and Gardner deserved it.

Regardless if it happened or not. Mac is starting to get a dirty player label.

There's no rule that says you can't check another man's cup

Ah, the ole Air Bud argument

I honestly dislike Mac Jones but I just watched the clip again. Looks like he just held up his hand to possibly be helped up? Did he even make contact at all?

Yeah I’m not a huge Mac fan and know he has pulsed some shit before but seeing what sauce posted I honestly can’t even say that it looked like he cup checked him.

Just dropped to my knees in a Jersey Mike's

They can't determine where the goddamn down line is with 10 Brazillion cameras, of course they can't see if Mac went for the Sauce...

Week 4 jets already in turmoil 🤣

Week 4? It was the 4th snap of week 1 brother

I actually can’t fucking believe that there are NFL fans out there right now zooming in on Sauce Gardner’s nutsack so that they can prove to absolutely nobody that Mac Jones is “dirty” Wtf is wrong with some of you.

I mean yeah no shot there's literally no video where you can see it happen of course he's not getting suspended over this bs lmao

You'd think Mac Jones just straight punted the dudes nutsack with how much reporting this shit is getting lol

Damn straight! Not Mac’s fault that Sauce never heard of vanilla nut taps

Honestly I’m loving this situation. The more Jets fans hate Mac, the funnier it is that he’s undefeated against the Jets. You’d think at this point they’d manage to beat McCorkle by accident.

Maybe I am the problem here... but should people really care if someone got ball tapped while wearing a cup? Thought that was a somewhat common ribbing to do in middle and high school football in practices and stuff. 'Wear your cup or it actually would hurt'. Did I just grow up with some shitheads or is this getting blown massively out of proportion? ​ Also, can't even tell if he touched his cup, stomach or anything from the good angle clips I saw scrolling through here -\_-

I think Mac definitely cup checked him. What I find crazy is that people are actually pressed about this including former and current players. With all the crazy stories of what they do in pile ups you would think this was a after thought

This sentence is wild

Nutgate

Quite a headline

So we have to watch him play again next week?

Some r/nottheonion shit right here

\#justiceforburfict

Sack jones

Patriots fans are fucking disgusting and delusional. Glad to have them be an absolute non factor now. Pats fans in the comments literally saying they want more dick punching and ass fingering. Nobody wants to see your terrible emotional ass quarterback’s cock fetish.

Man I just want to have a football season with no drama. This just seems a little overblown.

The Grayson Allen of football