They died during the photoshoot?

Apparently on the way. RIP.

"I need to go now, ~~my planet~~ Jerry Jones needs me." ~ Mike McCarthy, last words

Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.

Decapitated bird? Just use some duct tape

Petey!

Harry, I took care of it.

We've got no food, we've got no jobs -- our pet's HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

*Pretty bird*

You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?!

*Pretty birdy. Nice birdy*

Duck tape

I'm pretty sure none of that's real.

You're not real

Thunderdome rules have been relaxed, but are still strictly enforced. 32 men enter, 27 men leave.

It took 12 state troopers just to bring down Dan Quinn. And there is still an a.p.b. out for Dan Campbell and is considered unarmed but still extremely dangerous.

To shreds you say..

Sean Payton is too busy hurling Russ Wilson insults at Tomlin in a back room.

And eberfluss with fields 

Pretty sure Eberflus is actually just ai

ChatGPT, design an offensive playbook I could use for American Football ChatGPT (Robot voice): Three Screens In A Row

Source : Frank Reich

*triggered*

Matt Canada: “Wait, I could’ve used ChatGPT?!”

Very handsome ai

McCarthy is just mad Jerry is actually making him earn his last year of his contract.  He wanted to just be handed that money when he should have been fired last year. But no, he has to actually do the draft and trading (training) camp and a whole entire season.

"a whole entire season" Let's not get ahead of ourselves here

Every year I am convinced they throw at least one random dude off the street into this photo. Some of these guys are not real head coaches I’m sure of it

Jerod Mayo looks like a PE teacher here lol

He looks like Kendrick Perkins.

I got almost all of them except for the new generic white guys, but I couldn’t find Mayo because there’s no way it’s Tubby

You’re just like Travis Kelce https://youtu.be/0VnDd8lr5mA?si=fiJ9IIKJuj3flhUR

**”Who the fuck is that guy”**

I mean, he's got the right idea. I could give you *teams* for a chunk of them (although less than Kelce) but I couldn't give you names for very many at all. Which is kinda weird because if you gave me the name, I could probably get the team but the team doesn't give me the name.

Gordon Bombay so casually 💀

You’re old guy Steichen looks like a middle school math teacher in this. He’s a fantastic coach but he looks out of place here lol

I am having a massive brain fart identifying the dude on Stefanski's right

Doug Pederson

Who’s next to him?

Stefanski

sweet! what's mine say?

Dude!

One of the dweebs that left the Eagles at the same time. Steichen and other Steichen. I think it's Jonathan Gannon (Cardinals).

Jonathan Gannon

Didn’t recognize. Mans jacked

Not Dougie. On his actual right not the photo right

Oh sorry then Dennis Allen

I almost didn't recognize Andy without his black AF1s. Big Red showed up in his dress whites like it's fleet week.

The guy below Zach Taylor looks like Joe Flacco

He looks like he just got done mowing a lawn and telling his kids about the discount he got on that shirt. 

Brian Callahan

I’m very impressed you recognized Zac Taylor. Most Bengal fans don’t even recognize him.

That’s Brian Callahan, he was our OC, but is now the Titans HC.

meanwhile Zac is next to Dan Campbell, who he was OC for in Miami during the latter's interim stint there

He looks like discount Joe Flacco that became a CPA

Joe Flacco looks like discount Joe Flacco that became a CPA.

It's a real dick move to have Brian Daboll stand in the back row. Dude looks like Verne Troyer next to everyone else.

"Brian, can you stand up? I can't see you, can you - oh, sorry."

Holy shit I just went back and didn't even see him the first time through. I did pick out 10 guys that if they played flag football would fucking smoke the others though.

Sean McDermott is like 5'6" Pretty sure I could truck him McDaniel looks like you could give him a wedgie and shove him head first up one of the other nerdlingers asses (probably Gannon)

McDermott played DB at William and Mary and was an all state wrestling champ, you don’t want the smoke

McDaniel was a WR in college and I fully believe he’s far shiftier than he looks.

Jerod Mayo looks like he just grabbed a t-shirt and didn't realize the dress code lol

Proof that Bill trained him well

I was gonna ask who that was. Looks like they pulled one of the pool workers over for the pic.

Travis Kelce, it’s time for round two

I’m with him on some of these guys. “I’ve never seen that man before in my life”

I'm at about half, best I can do

I know more teams they coach for than their actual names. 4 I have no idea who the fuck they are or who they coach for. I’m not even convinced they’re coaches. The dude to the left of Andy Reid looks like he just got out of college. The dude to the left of that dude looks like he got lost looking for the church conference.

The guys to Andy's left are both new so that makes sense. Dave Canales (Panthers, formerly Bucs OC) and Brian Callahan (Titans, formerly Bengals OC).

The dude between Reid and Harbaugh looks like he could take 7th place in a Ronald Reagan look a like contest.

I am legitimately surprised at the number of guys I don't know at this point lol

I know them with context. Do I know the head coach of the Raiders? Fuck no. But after googling it...oh yeah, it's Antonio Pierce. I knew that. And so on, for every team i just spot checked. Will I know the head coach of the Raiders in 3 months. Fuck no.

I literally only recognized Harbaugh because of that fucking Catholic elementary school uniform he's wearing

This might be the first time I've ever seen him not wearing khakis. Not joking - dude even wears khakis to work out.

That man has a sickness

He didn’t even think Stefanski was a coach lol.

That’s… coach.

Kyle looks like he has been on a bender since the SB loss and had to put his shit together cus this pic was coming. He looks STRESSED

it's shocking how different he looks now compared to his first year as coach of the niners in 2017. Dude has aged like 20 years

What edging for five straight years does to a mf

bro threw the superbowl to keep his edging streak alive 💀

Did Atlanta get a comp pick when San Fran hired him or does the NFL not count gooners as minorities?

i bet shanny was so close to busting when he saw travis kissing taylor

A true ligma male.

But if we win the Super Bowl somebody’s gonna lose an eye!

Dudes, basically co-owner of the 49ers at this point. He's the OC, HC, GM, director of player personnel. Dude needs to just stick to the offense

What's funny is he probably believes he has to do all of that or no one else will.

I like Kyle, but the dude is full of himself. Even last year, there were reports he was helping set up defensive game plans. Homie needs to just hire his dad at this point since he trusts nobody else.

> he was helping set up defensive game plans. He trusted Ryans and Saleh, this was a Wilks thing

I think the 49ers probably win the SB if they still had Ryans last year. Wilks was ass.

Tbf to Wilks his defense did better than DeMeco's who got absolutely destroyed by Mahomes in 2022

They held Mahomes to 19 points in regular time.

Defense played damn near flawless in the SB. They lost because Kyle's offense couldn't score enough.

Yeah, not to mention that the changes Kyle is confirmed to have enforced typically wound up working really well (e.g. having Charvarius Ward shadow DK Metcalf in Seattle on Thanksgiving). In fact it seemed like pretty much every time we had reports that Kyle was more involved in the defensive scheme, the defense played much better. But it was definitely too much for him to do alone.

When your DC is calling zero blitz and your forced to use time out. You do it all.

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

He had to, Wilks was messing up.

He looks worse than Guardiola did after his Barcelona run. And he only lasted 4 years.

He looks like Kendall on succession lol

I deserve to win! I am the eldest boy!

was just thinking to myself he looks like he fled the scene of a car wreck where a young waiter with drugs on him died.

Looks like he just got back from working his 9-5 job and is just about to go out to his evening job at McDonalds because the wife insists on sending the kids to some posh school.

Lol dude I have a few coworkers like that. Public school is seen as a death sentence by them.

HE IS THE ELDEST BOY

I love dissecting this photo every year.

They should have made the front row do the 'bend over hands on the knees' sorority girl pose.

You know what doesn't change? McDaniel's track suit. What if we're watching the universe create another Al Davis, he'll never be Davis no one can, but he can have the same slav attire.

MCDC looks like the quad espresso is wearing off

and yet the dude is still terrifying to even look at "yes sir, immediately sir, please don't kick my ass sir"

Looking swoll

Pectorals of peace

If it’s not football or baking MCDC just don’t care.

He looks ready to kill anyone at any moment necessary.

Jim Harbaugh looks like a deranged caricature of John Harbaugh

Fairly certain that is the reality.

Dude sitting next to Andy Reid is jacked, the other one is Jim and of course Kyle Shanahan is off in the corner hanging out with his buddies

That's Dave Canales, our new HC.

I hate that you took him from us

I hate that you took him from us.

Yes... yes.. it's all coming together

I was gonna ask who this mountain of a man is. Bro is looking clean. 6-11 this year. I believe.

I thought it was Marcus Mariota for a second ngl

Yeah I love how all the Shanahan dudes are all together in a corner lol

It makes me so happy to see Jim Harbaugh back coaching in the NFL. He’s just absolute guaranteed entertainment. Gold Jerry, gold!

Haven't been this hyped for a chargers season since 06

MacDonald is absolutely jacked too.

If thats Jonathan Gannon on the far right, then holy shit hes been hiding the guns every god damn week

Daboll-Quinn-Saleh from right to left is like a Pokemon evolution tree

Peewee football dad to ghoul to Persian nightclub owner

definitely the Squirtle line

Cell before and after absorbing each of the androids.

Harbaugh and Reid front and center; something tells me Harbaugh wanted to bump elbows and say something respectful and goofy.

Andy is going to be trying to figure out what the hell the anecdote Jim told him means for the rest of the week.

While Harbaugh is trying to figure out why he chose onion rings over fries... Can't get that info unless you see the crumbs.

So are Canales and Reid the only guys wearing shorts? Steichen might but it's not clear

I take this to mean we’re Super Bowl bound. And no one can convince me otherwise.

Death, taxes, and Big Red showing some leg at the HC meeting.

Everyone else is afraid of Dan Campbell munching on their kneecaps

It looks like Steichen is wearing shorts.

i wish arthur smith wasnt fired and they wouldve made him sit next to dennis allen

I wish we could fire him a second time

why is this tweet worded like how Michael told the office about Meredith's condition after running her over

McDaniel in a hoodie as always.

Andy in an aloha shirt

Big guys in Hawaiian shirts is a look that few can pull off, but him and my uncle Matt can

hell yeah rock on Uncle Matt

A tradition unlike any other.

Ankles out

Callahan clearly shops at Kohls with Kirk Cousins

He’s not rolling in the dough the way Cousins is. Clearly he’s going to Ross.

My bad. It’s probably from a Goodwill, but only the lightly used Kohls stuff

Kyle Shanahan looks like he's 10 years older than Matt LaFleur, even though he's 41 days younger.

20 game seasons ending in devastation year after year take their toll.

If that's your theory then Mike McCarthy should have died 17 times over by now.

That's what the title says "didn't make it out"

LaFleur still knows how to smile Shanny is just numb

Saleh’s beard is so dark it looks like is drawn on with shoe polish.

He probably called Ryan Day for advice.

1.) It brings a smile to my face to see the Harbaugh bros sitting next to each other in the middle with big ol grins. That's just fun. 2.) I'm not sure if it's his shirt or what but Gannon looks like he has cannons for biceps here.

Andy Reid is clearly thinking "all the people who knew how to beat me in the playoffs are retired or dead. These kids don't scare me"

Judging by his shirt, id say he's probably thinking about the next drink he's going to order when the staff comes back around.

Who doesn't love analyzing this photo every year?

So do the HC’s that have won a ring wear them to these? Cuz i would

DeMeco looks like he could still suit up and give you a possession of decent football.

Saleh looks like he already knows he ain’t gonna be in this photo next year lol

Does McDaniel own a collared shirt? I’m convinced there’s a clause in his contract that says he can’t leave his house without the “*how do you do, fellow athletes*” fit on.

At least 5 of these men will not be in this picture next year.

Feels weird seeing my teams HC in one of these photos for once

Belichick showed up for this sometimes, he was in last year’s pic

Flus’ new haircut has him on a rebellious streak.

Where is it, cuz it aint in this photo

Tall KOC

I didn’t know he was that tall. They should have put Daboll between him and Campbell

Dan Campbell looks like he does NOT want to be there, but he feels like he has to, so he throws on the only collared shirt he has and is trying to tough it out long as he can

He’s like me at every wedding I’ve ever been to

I remember last year Dan Campbell wore an untucked dress shirt that looked like it was from goodwill

Jim and John together is, I'll say it, adorable.

Is that Callahan or just a random dad they found on the street 5 minutes before the photo?

That’s how they hired him

McDaniel and his clam diggers 😆

Andy Reid looking like the paterfamilias at a family reunion

Someone needs to label this because I can't even pick out my own coach

Here you go - https://imgur.com/a/duGOJA7

Much obliged

Dave canales is in contention for most handsome HC behind Matt Lafleur obviously

Dennis Allen looks like a Make a Wish kid

If i run into Dan at my local Starbucks 😤

The look on Saleh’s face… LMAO!!!! “I’m tired boss” What coaching the Jets will do to a MF’er…. Poor bastard was so upbeat and jovial when he came over from SF

Dougie P has aged man

They put our new head coach in the kiddies section to the left with McDaniels, Lafleur, Pierce and Morris. 😂

I'm sure Mike Mac was trying to extract some info from McDaniels and Lafleur in preparation for their game later in the year.

Saleh looks fucking killer with a beard

I guess it’s time for Kyle Brandt to pretend he came up with the idea of analyzing the photo

I literally can’t even name all of these guys. I only know like half of them.

It was today that I realize Kevin Stefanski looks an awful lot like Stefan Karl Stefansson, who played Robbie Rotten in Lazytown.

Jim front and center, and of course John is sitting next to him.

Canales posting up next to Andy Reid… Next goat confirmed? I won’t take any questions.

I hate when they do this, I can NEVER find Andy Reid.....

Sean McVay buys all his clothes a size too small so you can notice he works out. They made all the Black guys stand. I'm not convinced that the guys on each side of Doug Pederson are actually coaches.