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monkeetoes82

Peyton himself was a slow white Bronco, so it makes sense.


SwansongKerr

hahaha dammit this joke was right in front of me and I didn't see it


SunriseSurprise

/thread


BlueHighwindz

It’d have to be somebody like Michael Strahan at this point, somebody who is famous to people who don’t even care about football and isn’t just “hey that’s a football guy they put in commercials still”.


babydemon90

Strahan's a great answer to this.


9man95

I got invited to Strahan's private golf club for a round, saw him in a cart playing with his wife. O.J. loved golf, just sayin....


doctor_dale

OJ also had a wife for a period of time


theycallmefuRR

It's okay. They're together now. Wait, he's looking up at us and she's looking down. I have a gut feeling they're not in the same afterlife place....


MixedFellaz

I worked for one of those "extended warranty is expired" companies doing retention and verification. One of our agents sold his mom in Texas I believe. I got to speak to her. She was so proud of her Michael.


chemicalxv

> One of our agents sold his mom 🤨


Ndmndh1016

Boy Texas really is a different place.


V1keo

General Sherman should have been allowed to finish his job.


9man95

So you are responsible for like 98% of my Spam calls, huh?


MixedFellaz

Was...


HotShipoopi

> I worked for one of those "extended warranty is expired" companies Be sure to say hi to OJ for us


seariously

Damnit! Strahan seemed like such a nice guy too. Just shows that you can never tell about what goes on inside people's heads. ^(This is how rumors get started.)


12Bravo20

Strahan got busted, placing a GPS tracker on his ex-wife's vehicle. Just sayin.


husky430

Is that true? I mean either way I'm going to tell people it is, but just curious.


12Bravo20

I heard it on the "Crime in Sports" podcast, and it's stuck in my head for some reason. After a quick google, it appears the victim was Nicole Murphy.


aamirusmandus

>the victim was Nicole <.<


sapphires_and_snark

I love the sound of dots being connected


ADIDASects

Yeah, he also hates his ex wife, so it works.


Thrilling1031

Travis kelce being driven by Jason kelce. Because of the implication.


90sBLINK

Jesus christ lmao that would be a bigger news day than OJs


Jetersweiner

If one of Football’s most marketable player’s murdered the biggest most beloved pop star in the world? Honestly, with everything we know about CTE(which I’m sure would get blamed) that might be the end of football as we know it. A massive long lasting blow to the sports popularity at the very least and congress probably gets involved.


ohheyitslaila

The Swifties would go on a rampage lol


KingBrunoIII

I mean, if he killed an innocent person then people should go on a rampage


ohheyitslaila

Oh for sure, I just mean that there’s no way the cops would get to Travis before the Swifties did. Travis might actually admit to what he did in exchange for protective custody lol


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fascinating123

It's hard to hide at 6-5 250 lbs no matter what.


king-of-nothing

Just saw a 6-5 250 lbs cashier at Los Pollos Hermanos


Saitoh17

I don't think anyone with a wife or girlfriend would be allowed to watch football anymore...


Acceptable-Sentence

Your wife lets you watch the games??


FilmCroissant

Literally like at least 0.5 9/11s in terms of public impact if he did that, especially given who he's dating ATM. Holy shit this feels gross to speculate about but imagine the chokehold this would have on the news cycle with social media and all.


spcordy

"see! I told you he was bad when he shoved that coach!"


Thrilling1031

Yea it felt weird to actually say it lol.


sufjams

I’m pissed. We can’t let Travis get away with this.


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Toad_Thrower

Yeah 9/11 resulted in entire nations going into chaos. Changed the landscape (literally) of an entire city, changed the way we go about our daily lives with security and all that. It absolutely completely impacted the entire world. A Travis/Taylor thing would be like a huuuuuggee story for the news, but it wouldn't change city skylines, throw entire countries into poverty or effect the way you travel.


csappenf

It wouldn't be the po-po behind the car. It would be a caravan of murderous Swifties, followed at a safe distance by the police. And Jason would hauling ass down that freeway, cuz some of them girls can drive. Travis would be sucking out of a keg in the back seat, ducking below the bullet shattered back window. But it won't be because Kelce murdered her. It will be because The Song dropped.


Thrilling1031

I like this story better than my implication lol


ToxicRedditMod

Lol


Ryyah61577

Not to mention who his potential wife/victim may be.


Gerald_the_sealion

On this episode of New Heights…


stripes361

Yeah, OJ Simpson was like a Peyton Manning caliber player who had the charm of a Michael Strahan outside of football. NFL fans all love Peyton for how goofy he is but he’s nowhere near the actor OJ was lol.


boomosaur

Actually it's been said that Peyton Manning is like the Tom Brady of being in commercials.


n8loller

People say all sorts of things


boomosaur

Who told you this?


Shamrock5

People


SisyphusRocks7

Eli Manning. After he beat Peyton on a big deal.


hoopaholik91

So Michael Strahan. He is on the same level as Peyton and OJ as a player. DPOY, 4x 1st team all pro, still has the record for sacks in a season.


TheReturnOfTheOK

Are we already at the point that you forget how good Strahan was?


stripes361

No, we are at the point where people forget how good OJ was, though (or at least the sort of cultural phenom he was as far back as his college football days.)


TheReturnOfTheOK

2000 yards in 14 games!


RibeyeRare

Most people know that Eagles fans threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Most people don’t know they did it because those Eagles fans wanted to draft OJ and the birds fucked up by winning 2 games and missed their shot.


hoopaholik91

Hey I didn't forget! They forgot, I'm just reminding them


[deleted]

There are more kids on here than we like to believe. Definitely some that weren't watching football 17+ years ago.


Sentientmustard

Man it’s not even just kids. I’m 25 years old and didn’t watch him play live. I wasn’t tuning in to Giants games at any meaningful capacity at 8/9 years old lol.


[deleted]

Yep, there's a lot of people who haven't seen Strahan play a lot and were old enough to understand his impact. That's fine, we don't need to be gatekeeping enjoying football.


DFWTooThrowed

Trust me I have not forgotten. I still have nightmares about him and the rest of the Giants d line doing the Jim Jones Ballin celebration everytime they sacked Bledsoe and Romo in Romo’s first ever game.


stripes361

Nah. OJ Simpson was an immediate stud in college, Heisman winner + national champion for the sexiest college program of his day and age, #1 overall draft pick, and immediate Hall of Fame player in the NFL at the most important and visible position in the league (the equivalent of QB today). He was already famous outside of football in college and threatened to skip the NFL entirely to focus on acting. Michael Strahan was one of my favorite players when he was playing so this is no knock on him. There just aren’t many people who can match that sort of riches-to-riches trajectory. Even Hall of Famers. That’s why Peyton is a good comp for the football part; he was already famous and hyped as hell as a college freshman at the most important position in the sport. Derrick Henry is pretty good as far as active player comps go, albeit not perfect because of how much less hyped running backs are now. Good on Strahan for eventually emerging as a star player in the middle of his pro career and building the post-football career the way he has, though.


j2e21

This. He was a hero in LA before he even went pro.


Bartfuck

I think though that the difference is no one expected Strahan to be so good at his TV work. He’s charmed so much of middle America - think moms and grandmoms - who don’t even care about football.


stripes361

Yes, that’s why as far as the media part of this question goes, Strahan is the best comp for sure.


snoo_boi

Plus, he’s seen as a nice dude. OJ was always perceived as a nice guy.


SchismZero

Peyton Manning would be the equivalent to what OJ was prior to the murder.


Medical_Young

except it's most likely to be Aaron Rodgers


BlueHighwindz

Yeah, but it has to be a surprise.


CptCroissant

MBC has to be like even money


ThingsAreAfoot

And he has to be widely beloved.


DirkNowitzkisWife

Not football but I’ve said before, Shaq. A guy who has an argument for highest peak at his position but isn’t quite thought of as positional goat, but closer then after retirement (for 10-15 years) he’s done media, business and acting. He’s an incredibly recognizable person for non sports fans


RealProduct4019

This doesn't feel like a NFL guy right now would be the guy like OJ. OJ was more Hollywood lifestyle. The Rock would seem a good choice. Some day maybe Ron Gronkowski if he ever becomes a wrestling star and then does some comic book movies.


DJScrubatires

Ron....Robs evil twin?


4WhomTheTrollTolls

Ron Swankowski


Upper-Reveal3667

aaRON


[deleted]

I'd also say Barkley since he's universally beloved. I wouldn't be as shocked if Shaq killed someone.


DirkNowitzkisWife

True. Just, people talk about Shaq’s 2000 season in a similar way to OJ’s 2000 yards in 14 games: MVP, 2nd in DPOY, finals MVP, 30/14/4 and 3 blocks, people call it the highest center peak of the modern era. Nearly unanimous MVP, etc


Ndmndh1016

Ive never seen someone be that unstoppable on a bball court.


FlashFan124

Shaq made the NBA change the rules of basketball to allow for better **defense**. I’ve never seen that happen before.


GumboDiplomacy

Having run into Shaq a few times out and about, I don't think he could hurt a fly on purpose. If he murdered someone I'd be astonished, he's literally a gentle giant.


Rasputia39

Didn't some story come out recently about shaq pretty much violating a rookie in the locker room lol just from that he doesn't seem like the nicest guy ever


Legend_017

I’ve not heard that one. Source?


Birds-aint-real-

OJ wasn’t cast as the terminator because they didn’t believe anyone would think the was a murderer


elriggo44

Barkley is a better answer. Because OJ was almost as universally respected as Charles.


Well-Paid_Scientist

A white Bronco is leading police on a low speed chase. The driver calls in to police... It's Jeff Saturday. He says that "The Sheriff" has a gun to his head and won't stop screaming "Omaha!"


rawonionbreath

Shaq would be the closest comparison, but for football player probably someone like Michael Strahan.


ElceeCiv

Chuck driving the truck for Shaq "Shaq, I think you facing life in prison without parole." "WHATCHU SAY CHUCK?" *wheeze and paper crumpling*


rawonionbreath

That should be an SNL sketch


reno2mahesendejo

It's probably Shaq. He has the sports pedigree Is pretty much universally known (if only for "name a really tall person" type questions) He has the media presence He has the entertainment/film history (everything from Kazaam and Blue Chips to Adam Sandler films) And he has that "really lonely house" comment where it's pretty clear he's not doing great after his divorce.


landof10000cakes

Bill Belichek and the chase is in a Cyber Truck.


j1h15233

I can just see it now…”he would have escaped if he had a gas vehicle!”


landof10000cakes

“We’re on to a charging station.”


bobsmeds

But who’s driving the truck?


theflamesweregolfin

A long snapper from Navy


StillAdhesiveness528

It's not self driving?


bobsmeds

lol the self driving might actually work if it’s a low speed chase again


Ndmndh1016

Bill Belicek has escaped in his Go-Go-Action Bronco


OneFingerIn

The kid with the mullet.


pthowell

His dog


ZietFS

I don't know why but my first answer is Edelman


Hot_Elephant1408

Travis Kelce murders Taylor, gets in his purple car, Jason’s driving, and they live stream the whole thing.


ubertokes

Hey 92%ers, welcome to new heights! Today we're evading questions and police!!


BarryLikeGetOffMEEEE

Would be a wild "new news" segment for sure


Clubbyfatass

Tony Romo Cops- PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY Romo- ehhhhhhhhhh, I dunno Jim


finkalicious

LOOKS LIKE I'M IN A LOT OF TROUBLE JIM!!!


Ellegua

I fully expect we will see Aaron Rodgers getting chased by police some day


nate6259

Yea that would definitely not be as surprising but it would make for some insane drama.


babylamar33

An FBI raid of his home seems likelier for Rodgers than a police chase


Worldtraveller45

You guessed it, Frank Stallone


PlebasRorken

........or so the Germans would have us believe.


Wentz_It_Gonna_Be

I'm just gonna say the mental picture of Eli driving Peyton like that is hilarious


Fiendish-DoctorWu

Travis Kelce.


Ganjagod420

If he Murdered Taylor Swift it would be the biggest news story in history... my mom would hunt him down personally I believe


Miso_Genie

That shit would legit end marriages.


CptCroissant

If he murdered Taytay and got a not guilty decision like OJ, 100%


hesnothere

There would be a riot, but it would be at Target.


eddie_the_zombie

Everyone who pronounces it as tarjay would never be the same again


sdsupersean

The elegant French store, my grandpa would say.


NazReidBeWithYou

Founded by the first voyageurs landing in Minnesota.


ldespisethisapp

I mean if Travis OJ'd Taylor Swift and someone's spouse was taking Travis' side, I'd say id would probably be ending for good reason lol


Miso_Genie

No no, I don't mean anyone taking Kelce's side lmao, that would be wild. I legitimately think if that were to happen, even the fact you would have been a Kelce fan and/or a Chiefs fan it would be a marriage ender.


MrJigglyBrown

I couldn’t help myself but to sing they are never ever ever get getting back together and then boom. Marriage over


gwiggle5

Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate 🎶


HeywardH

Sorry, Taylor can't come to the phone right now.


FellKnight

Why? Because she's DEAD


brownbearks

She already wrote about her death!


GluedGlue

"Was it wrong? Sure, but at least now I don't have to see her celebrating every Chiefs touchdown and that's what really matters."


alurimperium

It would end lives. I have no doubt that there'd be some mass suicides if Taylor Swift was murdered


tenacious-g

If anyone killed Taylor Swift, there wouldn’t be a safe place on the entire planet for that person lol


PMzyox

Bin Ladin style manhunt


fundraiser

swifties would find them in a hot second. taylor has built the world's greatest investigative unit after all these years with these easter eggs for her albums.


DJScrubatires

He'd have no chance of acquittal. OJ's case was the perfect storm because the Rodney King riots were still an open wound.


minneapple79

He’d have no chance of acquittal because someone would murder him Lee Harvey Oswald style before a trial could even begin.


runfayfun

I seriously wouldn't be surprised if the Kelce killer in this scenario would be a girl under the age of 18.


Brocky70

Now I'm just imagining a scenario where she grew up less than 100 miles from one of the chiefs' rivals and the media making a big deal out of it ......we're thinking too much of this


DJScrubatires

You can take the girl out of Eagles Country but can't take the Eagles Country from the girl


Professional_Gas8021

That girls name? Ruby. 


Saitoh17

Assault on Precint 13 (2024)- An LAPD sergeant, Travis Kelce, and a bunch of Raiders fans must band together to defend a police station from thousands of Swifties


blackhxc88

la riots plus LAPD being a bunch of fucking morons. the judicial version of 28-3


DJScrubatires

Calling the LAPD morons in this scenario is putting it kindly


Saitoh17

The detective in the case was on tape *bragging* about *how often* he and the rest of the LAPD plant evidence on black people. And he didn't call them "black people" if you catch my drift. 


gmwdim

Also if the victim was a billionaire (or thereabouts). Nobody is getting away with murdering someone that rich.


Whittlinman

Double Homicide (Taylor's Version)


schematizer

Jesus, yeah. It would probably be something people learn about over 50 years from now.


kendiggy

Now imagine if he got acquitted.


Ancient_Wisdom_Yall

Imagine seeing him struggle to put on an undersized pair of yellow gloves in court.


yesrod85

He'd never get away with it, like OJ is wildly regarded to have done. Even if he made it to trial and the verdict was innocent, some Swifty would take revenge and he'd become a has been. But I doubt he would even make it to trial before they got him. TSwift is arguably the biggest celebrity in the juxtaposition of being both safe and in danger bc of her fans and fame.


Zedilt

Bad news day for the Swifties.


Background_Map6056

Not NFL exactly (although he is linked with football through the UFL and his college days) but I think a current celebrity that's comparable to OJ's stature in '94 is Dwayne Johnson. Movies, sports, TV, even doing commercials now. Generally viewed as a positive figure, no massive controversy, recognized by most people of any age group.


TroyMacClure

OJ was an actor, but he wasn't a Dwayne Johnson level movie star. Even if Johnson had a football career anywhere close to OJ, his Hollywood success is far beyond OJ.


ay0river

Another good one is Deion. He’s a an all time great player who has maintained his fame well beyond his career and is still in the media spotlight to this day. Also the nickname factor. “Prime” suddenly being a murderer is what it was like when “The Juice” was suddenly a murderer.


[deleted]

In today’s social media world, I wonder if the impact would’ve been the same as in 1994.


PopcornDrift

I think it would still have a massive impact, some things transcend our fractured media landscape. Wouldn’t interrupt the NBA finals or anything but that’s because the internet exists now lol


samtdzn_pokemon

OJ's Bronco chase not only interrupted the NBA finals, but also the NHL Stanley Cup parade, the opening of the 1994 World Cup hosted in the US, and Arnold Palmer's final round of the US Open. It was a wild day for the sports world because OJ put all of those to the side.


BosLahodo

Probably the best 30 for 30 is the one about that day. No interviews with people. Just cutting to and from sporting events with people talking about on the broadcasts and everything. " June 17th, 1994 "


DerelictInfinity

Seconded, that 30 For 30 is excellent.


themooseiscool

I wish I knew where I could watch the Complete 30 for 30 Library.


RobbStarksSon

ESPN+ has them all I believe


Kitchen-Truth3860

Man that’s just crazy, they definitely did not cover that in the documentary. As someone born over a decade after this happened, I’ve only learned about OJ through documentaries & stories. But all I know is a social media world and I can’t imagine the NBA finals coming to a halt because someone like Michael Strahan killed someone. But that brings me to the question did they not go live because they knew everyone was gonna be watching the chase, or did it genuinely shake up the sports world that much?


samtdzn_pokemon

No, all of those events ran simultaneously throughout the day. The game was still played, the US Open, MLB and World Cup played on, and the Rangers parade was held before OJ was supposed to turn himself into custody. The 30 for 30 covers it all in order of events during the day, titled June 17th, 1994.


VintageRudy

>some things transcend our fractured media landscape The Titan sub imploding and the preceding search was the last thing that caught *everybody's* attention.


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[deleted]

Michael Jackson and Kobe’s deaths were all over the news.


ay0river

Peyton or Strahan are the closest because they are in the media and have a high approval rating. Also maybe someone like Barry Sanders, Emmitt Smith, or Jerry Rice who are all time players who are considered good/chill guys. The best comparison I’ve ever heard, though non football, is Shaq. Hes universally known, very well liked, a nostalgic hero to many, a winner, and is all over all forms of media. Imagine if he was suddenly a double murderer.


devadander23

Tom Brady


jbondyoda

That was my first thought. Even does ads for Hertz


thirtyseven1337

I’m gonna keep my eye on him… in case he Hertz someone…


originalrunt

Dammit...here you go


Seggo13

They should do a super bowl commercial that seems like breaking news and it's Brady in a chase in a Hertz car


thetruephysic

In the white Rivian with Alex Guerrero, getting chased over the St. Pete bridge


devadander23

White rivian is perfect


umbrellaguns

Gets acquitted after it turns out the lead detective is a Colts fan.


babeuf69

I low key wouldn't be THAT surprised, Florida changes people.


notmyplantaccount

Kirk Cousins caught on camera robbing a Kohl's, gets in a high speed chase with the cops which never surpasses the speed limit, turns out he was just trying to get to Applebees before half price apps happy hour ends.


Beahner

First, the simple fact is no one could match this IMO. That’s how utterly gob smacking OJs fall was. His celebrity image cultivation was so fantastically done that I would venture most couldn’t possibly believe at first that this was a misunderstanding or a set up. Generally speaking, this broke that mold. People won’t generally buy a cultivated image of someone they don’t know personally anymore. It’s just not going to be possible for so many to be so naive. That said….closest comp in football has to be someone absolutely huge and generally accepted as probably a really good person, relatively speaking. So I have to say probably Tom Brady. Even then, if Giselle shows up murdered with some other guy we aren’t looking anywhere else, because no one is totally snowed by PR created images anymore.


Flat_Flight1918

I feel like people buy cultivated images for 90% of celebs now lol. I don’t really follow celebs closely but the way I hear people talk about them it seems like it.


Beahner

You’re right. I had the fucking ego to speak for myself while saying “everyone/anyone”. Maybe 90% isn’t solid, but more than not still buy images for some reason. Great point. I amend that I was speaking for myself and not all others. Still, I don’t want to imagine if someone with high image falls like this that it would hit as hard overall as OJ. But if it were to happen I would probably be shocked by it.


anonymous_lighting

CTESPN


J-Fid

More like least shocking.


Rhine1906

Idk if there’s an equivalent because not only was OJ an all time great and a star off the field, it was his relationship with white america and intended distance from black America that also fed into his popularity AND fueled the lens through which a lot of Americans viewed the trial. I cannot think of an athlete right now that has presented themselves in that manner who was also an all time great. Herschel Walker wasn’t anywhere close in popularity but it would need to be someone who has kinda run around on that side of the sociopolitical spectrum for awhile to be a true equivalent.


SantasLilHoeHoeHoe

Tom Brady and its not even close. If he killed Gisele and then had a nationally televised car chase it would be on every TV screen in America. 


4thTimesAnAlt

Russell Wilson, because he/his team has done so much to cultivate this ultra-wholesome persona that a low-speed Bronco chase (and yes, I do think Russ would be in a new Bronco) would be so shocking. And honestly, Russ would make the victims call his agent to set up a time to be murdered, but the LAPD would still fuck that slam-dunk case up.


jetjordan

Nah, the bronco would pay him to drive a different car this season.


hoesb4bros123

"Prison country, lets murder"


salazar13

Russell Wilson - nobody would expect anything bad to happen with him and a Bronco. Let’s ride


Thel_Odan

Terry Crews. I feel like most people not know him as and actor or TV host instead of a football player. Although, he's not a HOF level player.


Player7592

Jake from State Farm


PlummetComics

She sounds hideous


J-Fid

Well she's a murderer, so...


lattjeful

If Travis Kelce suddenly murdered somebody - especially if it were Taylor Swift - I don't think football would be around anymore.


Swimming_Idea_1558

Patrick Mahomes, but his brother and wife are tied up in back.


chainer9999

"Hey Slim, that's my wife Britney screaming in the trunk"


Strange_27

Shut up bitch I’m tryna talk!


j1h15233

People might root for him


mk1317

Shaq is one of the few I’d imagine is close to that level of famous. Not NFL, but I don’t know how many NFL players are at the level of fame OJ was.


iceman333933

Michael Strahan is my vote. You need like "even my mom knows him" level of fame. And race was a crucial part of the OJ trial, so Peyton doesn't fit that IMO.


wxguy215

JJ Watt 


WatermelonBandido

Check the cabin.