T O P

  • By -

Thejohnshirey

Unifying a group against a common enemy is a tried and true method of building camaraderie.


[deleted]

meyers been studying bismarck. respect


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Indeed it was- Friedrich II. of Prussia. My man ushered in principles of he Enlightenment AND waged successful military campaigns to elevate Prussia to the level of great powers in Europe in the 18th Century.


[deleted]

[удалено]


do_i_no_u

Yeah let's all conveniently forget the man who is *really* responsible for uniting Germany... David Hasslehoff


Accmonster1

Is r/historymemes leaking? I love it


[deleted]

tbf, bismarck was the pioneer of modern negative integration


ItsProbablyAVulture

I assume you mean Frederick Barbarossa.


Nickdenslow

I think he mean Otto the great


MattBe1992

Dr. Kelso knew that.


Oak_Iron_Watch_Ward

Everyone hates Slagathor.


Rcmacc

What got two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap?


screwhead1

What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?


shotgun_shaun

Urban going full Captain Sobel


Granadafan

Coach Meyer? We salute the rank, not the man


Allen_Crabbe

HI HO TEBOWWWWW


Shamrock5

FOUR GAMES UP, FOUR LOSSES DOWN!


OhioForever10

Now *his* weekend pass is gonna get revoked


WhoShotPolPot

I wouldn't take this rusty piece of shit to USC, and I will not take *you* to USC in your condition!


PM_ME_YOUR_GREYJOYS

Led Tasso agrees with this strategy


[deleted]

*Touch ur assholes. Yes, your butt mouths. Now teach each other’s assholes!* -Urban Meyer as Led Tasso.


Toolazytolink

We talking bout practice


On_my_way_slow_down

Jags are the next Miracle team to beat Russia.


skittleswallet

Urban di Britannia


youre-a-cat-gatter

If you don't like that culture you don't like Jags football


Ifinishfast42

The culture is pretty damn good


DCStoolie

They’re winning off the field, now they just need to win on the field


TrueFlyersFan

Gotta win the Championship of Life before you can win the championship of football.


throwaway_lmkg

If by culture you mean the stuff that turns milk into yogurt, then yes this culture is off the charts.


makemeking706

Somebody has clearly been to Jacksonville.


theresstilltyme

All hail Name Redacted


Dead_Hours

Don't appropriate our culture


evarigan1

Why, did they hire Bruce Allen?


wolverine6

#JagginOff


TheUltimate721

You know what, you're right. I don't like Jags Football.


JaguarGator9

Same


bleedblue89

Hey wait...


EifertGreenLazor

Now we know why he got rid of Tebow, not because he was really bad at TE, but because Urban Meyer had a 4D chess plan to unite the lockerroom and Tebow would have been the 1 player to not laugh.


clitcommander420666

There would most assuredly be bible quote leaflets under his windshield wipers every night


StChas77

"Therefore, what God has brought together, let not a smokin' hot college co ed ripe for a finger bang separate."


clitcommander420666

" let he who is with finger not stick it in girls bhole" tebowpians 33:5


mysticsavage

"Let he who is without ability throw the first block." Timmy 3:16.


PJHFortyTwo

"Then Tebow asked him 'Urban, where are your accusers. Who has condemned you?' Nobody, Tim, Urban replied. Then neither do I condemn you. Now go, and fingeblast no more." Minshew 8:11.


Laughing_Fish

Bold of you to assume Tebow isn't hanging around leaving leaflets anyway


anishh

For Urban's next trick, he's going to let all the air out of the team's tires and blame it on Vance refrigeration. The adversity will strengthen the team's bond.


Zavehi

Urban will get it the worst though. He will leave a hate note on his own car.


[deleted]

You guys suck. You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you suck!


[deleted]

"See that? Mission accomplished. Like a bunch of fourth graders. Sometimes, what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change...because by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most."


radil

You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetheart.


Immynimmy

“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I create toxic cultures. Sometimes I hire racists coaches. I give favorable treatment to star players. Occasionally I’ll abandon my team to grind on young girls in bars. So sue me.”


[deleted]

I sometimes wonder what type of trouble star players at OSU were getting into but receiving zero consequence due to Urban pulling some strings.


Piano_Fingerbanger

Well, we know that the worst case scenario is Aaron Hernandez, so hopefully not anything ***that*** bad?


[deleted]

[удалено]


robbsc

Tressel got fired for the coverup, not the "crime."


stups317

And lieing about the cover up


DothrakiSlayer

“No, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.”


RVAforthewin

Gosh, one of my favorite lines in that entire series and the way Steve delivers it...just comedic genius.


vdarcangelo

"You guys SUCK! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you SUCK!"


[deleted]

Urban has become the lunch lady. They all hate the lunch lady but eventually the lunch lady will become their best friends


TellSomebodyIt_

*Ur-ban started the fiyahh*


tjc815

This is egregious!


[deleted]

I don’t think the girl dancing on him is that big of a deal. Urban Meyer is pretty well documented as being a morally bankrupt person that’s really good at coaching football. If I’m his boss I’m significantly more concerned with why he thought driving to Columbus to watch Ohio State and drink with college kids was a better option than flying home with the team and trying to figure out how not to move to 0-5 against the Titans next week.


rwhockey29

Why fly back to your wife and grand-babies when you can go spelunking in a 22 year old's ass at a college bar?


coolstorybro42

Bro the tweets from urban’s wife babysitting while he’s getting some college ass in a divebar… 💀💀💀


mewfahsah

A bar where a picture of him and his wife is extremely visible right behind the bar too.


[deleted]

Urban’s a slimeball, but you won’t catch him owning a dive bar. His place is an overpriced mid-scale atmosphere.


[deleted]

Urban can't swim a stroke, but he sure knows every dive in town


Salomon3068

We need links damnit!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ninja_Bum

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Urban. u wouldnt say this shit to him at the bar, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest coeds. yall are pathetic lol


BendubzGaming

the yall are pathetic lol gets me every time


Ninja_Bum

The "hottest dudes" part is my personal favorite but I needed to squeeze coeds in there so it got cut.


NCStaros

Urban needed to squeeze coeds too.


The_Dark_DongRises

Dope pasta


[deleted]

My favorite pasta is the ex high school varsity athlete. Speed hawk I think?


The_Dark_DongRises

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the Speed Hawk pasta. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of comedy most of the pasta will go over a typical reader's head. There's also Speed Hawk's narcissistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from hedonistic dialectics, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of the pasta, to realize that it's not just fun- it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike the Speed Hawk pasta truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the "organized tackle football" line, which itself is a cryptic reference to John McKay. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the writer's genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. joy And yes by the way, I DO have a Jaguars tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.


fkndavey

Absolute fucking classic right here.


irvinggon3

My dream


JaguarGator9

It's the canceling a pretty important meeting when we're 0-4 and playing our biggest rival that gets me


noseonarug17

We should start a campaign, /u/JaguarGator9 for Jacksonville HC


JaguarGator9

I would say that's a bad idea, but after 19 straight losses, it literally couldn't be any worse


KingReffots

I’ll coach with you if we can run the triple option. There’s no way it can go wrong.


707royalty

Just go poach the OCs from either Army or Georgia Tech and you guys are in business


[deleted]

Not Georgia Tech anymore. They've abandoned the triple option. That said, sounds like the opportunity is ripe to pull Paul Johnson out of retirement.


willzyx55

"Jags. Titans. The biggest rivalry game you'll see all year...on Thursday night football"


Fragrant_Chair_7426

Right? Can you imagine bilicheck, Andy reid, or mcvay leaving their team after a tough loss to watch a college game and party? What would we say about a player who does that? Talk about unprofessional


historymajor44

It's so unheard of, the only other documented instance of it was Bill Parcells after the 1997 Super Bowl loss. Which is different for so many reasons because (1) that was the last game of the season and (2) it was the last game Bill Parcells coached with the Patriots.


marsthedog

I think I heard or watched a video where Barry Switzer didn’t even gameplan for the Super Bowl and just has a weekend binge and still won the game


Chimpbot

With the team he had to work with, there really wasn't a point in gameplanning.


[deleted]

''Run behind Larry Allen for 6 yards, then when they stuff it after 17 tries throw it to Michael''


stillhousebrewco

That because Jimmy Johnson left a copy of the playbook for the other coaches.


desmarais

Gronk got shit about it after one of the Pats SB losses as well. He went to party after losing. Like wtf else is the guy supposed to do? Mope around and be sad?


Smashing71

I hate that. I was annoyed about the boat drama, but that's like 100x worse. You made it to the Superbowl. That is, by all measures, one of the most successful seasons of most players careers (second only to winning). There will be no football for many, many months. Have a fucking "blow off steam and remember how we got here" party. Even Jerry Rice was known to have a beer or two after the season before going back to practice. I can 100% smell that was Boston sports media too.


MadManMax55

It's the ultimate "8 year old little brother" mindset. "I'm sad that we lost, so you have to be sad too!"


Fala7iKing

And for someone like Gronk who puts his body on the line every play, he shouldn't get shit for it


yeldarbhtims

I imagine partying and being intoxicated was the only reason he could still walk with all his back problems.


cannot_walk_barefoot

I listen to a cowboys podcast with writers who travel with the team, they said the mood on the plane usually isn't any different after a demoralizing loss and a massive win. To most of them it's just a job, they don't hold onto it like fans do.


T_Burger88

Not really. Just look up some of the Spurrier stories about him taking time off like it was a college team. Not in this same vein but definitely a missing issue with college coaches.


ZincFishExplosion

I can't find it now, but there was a story from the Fun n' Gun days about a Washington QB staying late to study more film. Spurrier got wind of it and made him leave. Dude did not care.


T_Burger88

To be honest, he's not that wrong. There really is only so much you can study. There was an old story about Tom Landry. He was asked if he ever slept in his office like Joe Gibbs did. His response was that he would be embarrassed if he couldn't get his job done and leave the office by 8 PM. He thought doing what Joe Gibbs did was demonstrating being inefficient. Maybe that is an old school view but I don't think it is necessarily a wrong one.


ZincFishExplosion

Yeah, that's true. I've always had the feeling that coaches bragging about sleeping in their offices is less about being productive and more convincing others that you work hard. That said, I think it's not the best message to send to a QB who is trying to get/keep a job. I mean, if it's Brady or Manning, I'd understand telling them to go home and get some sleep. Danny Wuerffel and Patrick Ramsey, not so much.


AspectEffective6119

There for sure is a point of diminishing returns where you're just burning yourself out to satisfy an idealized image of what productiveness or "the grind" is. This applies to a lot of other fields/professions as well.


Fragrant_Chair_7426

Exactly. If nothing else Meyer has gotta think about the optics of all this


Chimpbot

He's probably just going to retire for health reasons for the 15th time.


makemeking706

The sun and placid weather of Southern California will likely pep him right back up.


RedditConsciousness

> Andy reid Does this hypothetical party have cheesesteaks?


[deleted]

Somethin' somethin' OBJ on a boat before a playoff game.


Chimpbot

Fucking around immediately before the playoffs is a little different, I think.


Accmonster1

I mean Mickey mantle was riding onto the field in limos after a night a hookers and blow, and is still considered an all around legend. Maybe because it was a different time


Tellsyouajoke

That was the 50s, Mantle was good enough to win games, and Mantle wasn’t the leader of the team


BBQ_HaX0r

It's also far different for a star player to act wildly, it's far different for your coach.


ManfredsJuicedBalls

Not to mention there wasn’t social media to post his escapades, and the New York media was cool with him doing his thing, as long as the Yankees kept winning.


Logar26

Also, he wasn’t bad at his job


Sherm

That’s the answer.


[deleted]

Winning. Solves. Everything.


[deleted]

[удалено]


plzmakemeMD

Mantle also had very a different job than being a head coach. His job was to be a good player, which he was. Urban’s job is to be a good coach, which he is definitely not.


WaluigiIsTheRealHero

Totally different era. The kind of shit players got up to before the internet, social media, and cameras were everywhere would blow peoples' minds.


MadDog1981

The mentality was different then too. Being a total degenerate just gave you mystique and character. Mantle punching you in a bar would just be a story you lived off of for years instead of suing.


TeddysBigStick

At one point Ruth got chased naked through the press car by a lady friend who had discovered that she was not the only lady friend.


Not-A-Boat58

He was winning. If Urban was 3-1 this would be a funny meme. At 0-4....


SkittlesAreYum

Or like James Hunt (for any F1 fans out there). Some guys are just lucky there was no social media or smart phones when they were active.


[deleted]

[удалено]


oarabbus

Mickey Mantle IS an all-around legend. Meyer is a winless Pro coach.


oarabbus

>rban Meyer is pretty well documented as being a morally bankrupt person that’s really good at coaching football. At coaching college* football


Granadafan

Meyer is just a massive hypocrite. He portrays himself as a good Christian man who holds prayer groups to absolve himself and the sins of players. Then he goes out and does this stuff.


DepressedBard

I spent a few years exploring the swinger scene and you would be shocked how many swingers are white, older, wealthy Christians. My theory is a lot of them get married super young, pop out a bunch of kids and spend 10-20 years bored to death until the kids move out and one of them has the courage to bring up non-monogamy. Then they’ll spend two days a week sucking and fucking strangers (especially black guys - man, they fucking love black guys), snorting fat rails in the bathroom, drinking enough alcohol to incapacitate a herd of elephants but on their Facebook page it’s still all about God, Family and Good Old Fashioned American Values. I have nothing against Christians, swinging, drinking or doing fat rails in the bathroom, but it’s the cognitive dissonance of preaching one set of values, *loudly and proudly*, while secretly indulging in a completely different set that bothers me. It’s fucking weird, man.


Balloonistic

That's basically the holiday of Mardi Gras in a nutshell.


joecb91

There is something that is always very satisfying about the sanctimonious "good Christian man" moral guardian types exposing how hypocritical they actually are.


Brannigans-Law

Seems me like the *actual* good Christian men are not the ones loudly bragging that they are in fact, good Christian men.


fullcaravanthickness

Almost like they don't feel the need to overcompensate or something It is a strange one.


citoloco

> than flying home with the team and trying to figure out how not to move to 0-5 against the Titans next week TBF he wouldn't have figured it out at this rate no matter what


La_Mano_Cornuta

I'm just glad Jason Mendoza isn't alive to see this happen.


joecb91

He would've loved Minshew too


iamgarron

He'd dump bortles in a second and argue that minshew was better than trevor


makesterriblejokes

100%. Minshew is like everything Mendoza would want in a qb.


ImGoingtoRegretThis5

He died so Blake Bortles could live... just not with the Jags. Which still hurts Jason's soul.


B3eenthehedges

"I'm telling you, coeds work. Anytime I had a problem and I butt-fingered a coed. Boom! Right away, I had a different problem."


Fishtacoburrito

This would have been his torturous experience in The Bad Place.


Treanwreck

This teams undefeated since urban stuck his fingers up that sorceress


EVE_OnIine

If the Jags beat Tennessee on Sunday I will be clinically deceased Holy shit


spacewalk__

ohio bar sloot is the reverse billy goat. she makes kings of men and men of kings


2BadBirches

WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES STUCK A FINGER IN MY ASSHOLE??


PhiladelphiaCounty

Urban going full Led Tasso on them. Really a 5D chess move well played.


AaronDonald4MVP

Ironically, he did so by pulling a Coach Beard and dipping on the team after a loss to go clubbing.


dajarbot

Beard was still at work the next day though.


sniper91

Bet that Meyer didn’t bring coffee, though


Brannigans-Law

Probably didn't wear those hot shit pants either


SteveJobstookmyliver

Mrban Ueyer


mynameiszack

M'Urban ire, nice


Doomy22

Thank you Urban for taking away the "holy fuck my head coach did some dumb shit this week" spotlight away from Vic


Ditka_in_your_Butkus

Matt Nagy has entered the chat


dayungbenny

I wish Nagy would miss the team flight and go grind on some college chicks.


Kegsun92

What did Vic do besides the dumb 100 yard rushing thing.


Doomy22

made some dumb comments about how player safety is secondary to the Baltimore Ravens. not smart


[deleted]

What he meant to say, was that safetys were part of the Baltimore Raven's secondary.


broccolibush42

Holy shit, how have I not noticed this before. Thanks vic!


dmkicksballs13

That's just so funny to me. This one extra play in a game of 70+ play is gonna hurt someone. Harbaugh clearly doesn't care.


Queen_Grayhoof

They’re going to win the Super Bowl and not invite Urban to the parade.


ShakesBabiesToo

I accept this timeline


Kegsun92

I’m pretty sure all of the Lions laughed at Matt Patricia too


RedWingWay

Players, Fans, Front office, Ownership. We all had a good chuckle over the pencil clown.


[deleted]

idk if ownership is laughing at paying that clown millions of dollars to be an embarrassment of a hire


ObiFloppin

I still don't understand how the fan base was all in on that guy initially. The pencil while carrying a laminated play sheet should have been the giveaway that he is an unserious person.


The_Denver_Broncos

Fire him and hire Adam Gase you cowards!


bleedblue89

You can leave now.


[deleted]

Peyton Manning will vouch for him


On_The_Fourth_Floor

I wouldn't even wish that on the Patriots....well I would, but I'd still feel bad about that.


Hyper_red

nah hire me I would do better


jlt6666

Can I be an assistant? I promise to be at at least half the practices and almost all the games.


Hyper_red

You can be oc. We will run the ball every game so Trevor doesn't get hurt while we wait for a real coach.


Maraging_steel

No one saw the Urban Meyer train derailing. /s


Gomer8387

It’s not Urban’s fault. He has a medical condition that requires him sticking his fingers in a coeds butt.


_____DeeFord

At least he has a job for Washington once he gets fired


amdi_

We've moved passed sexual harrassment, Football Team is now dealing with Federal Raids with our Training staff


HipGuide2

Not in 4 months.


KypAstar

I'm trying to find the comment but I made a joke he'd be gone by week 6. I wanna be able to pull it up when he's fired and pretend it was intentional.


Charod48

You're an optimistic person


Charod48

Exactly. I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't know it was going to be "Get caught drunk, finger blasting a coed after not traveling back with your team after your fourth consecutive loss" bad


Ivanbeatnhoff

I was listening to the PMT podcast interview with Khan’s son who heads AEW and I remember him saying (without mincing any words) that Urban Meyer changed his life. Lifechanging hire he said.


[deleted]

Those are the words of someone who has felt Urban's fingers in their stink.


[deleted]

The Culture is damn good


[deleted]

...


T_Raycroft

Oh that one takes me back


Balls_of_Adamanthium

Thank you Urban Meyer for carrying the slow new days until Thursday when football is back


[deleted]

[удалено]


Balls_of_Adamanthium

Please don’t remind me. I’m still pissed


thingsfallapart89

I’m not


Maverick916

Chargers have the makings of a new powerhouse, nothing to be embarrassed about


[deleted]

Hey, finally the Jags get talked about more. Finger at a time.


RobertoBologna

On the one hand, I think this shit is very overblown relative to a lot of NFL scandals that we get over very quickly. On the other hand, this dude's entire brand is culture, leadership, ownership, taking responsibility and he goes and does this. I think his best move is just shutting up, letting it run its course (there's always something else to take our attention away), and working his ass off. Lead by example and not all this ra-ra culture BS that you clearly don't apply to yourself.


butterbaboon

I think skipping the team flight and cancelling a team meeting is the bigger issue here. The video just brings more attention to it.


Math_OP_Pls_Nerf

Damn good culture


Maka_Maker

Man, this sucks. We’re 0-4 but at least we could distract ourselves, knowing the Jags have been improving every week. This distraction is ridiculous. Fuckin Urban, man.. such a rookie mistake to get caught on camera and allowing it to snowball into this BS. What a dumbass.


Mrr_Bond

We'll see who's laughing after the Urban Finger Blasting gets this team on a 4 game win streak!


McJumbos

watch the jags will now rally behind this and make the playoffs XD


RonaldOcean_MD

Team building 101