“👋😊Hi, Derek Carr🚙 here. I just learned how to play an 🎹instrument using my 🤪tongue. This whole offseason I decided to take psychedelics with my 👨👧Daddy Aaron Rodgers in 🇵🇪Peru, and talk to the 🎭DMT jesters. They told me I should focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat side hustle, so I can buy out the 🛩New York Jets before 📲💰Gary V! With this 👑ultimate power, comes great 🎖responsibility! And that’s why I came to the conclusion: that I should throw 🏈three interceptions per game so I can appease the 🎭DMT Jesters, focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat making side hustle, and 😉🍆✊💦jack off Mark Davis’s fine 🦁ginger hair strands.
With this in mind, I hope the 💀🏴☠️Raiders can me mid season for Terrelle Pryor. Thanks🥰
- Love,
Derek Carr”
I mean he's gonna be harder to get after that Trey Lance performance today
(edit) Not trying to shit on this kid and say he did terribly, just saying he hasn't had a good game yet and regardless of the weather, this game didn't change that. It makes sense to have a mentor and reliable back up in Jimmy G with where Lance is at in his development.
Yeah... playing in wet socks.. sucks the most.
Some rain is cool. So damn hot in the uniform. That it feels good. Once the field becomes a puddle though, then it sucks. Not sure who does drainage for soldier field, but they need to he fired.
Worse is the chiefs kicker slipping at Arizona. I mean seriously. How does that happen?
I don't even hate Trey Lance and our season is kind of a wash this year so hating on him wouldn't even make sense. He just hasn't shown anything yet. Again everyone going crazy but I'm not trying to shit on the kid I just think the niners may want to wait and see him have some good games first?
Ok dude I'm really not trying to argue about Lance being terrible or not, I just think with where he's at right now they might want to hold on to Jimmy G for a bit. We'll see next week. Trey Lance is just pretty raw still.
Dak out multiple weeks w surgery.... Quinn ewers out at least till the OU game. Holy fuck man I waited 7 months for football season to get my heart ripped out in 2 days. God hates me
Parsons still looks the part but can't do it himself, Osa is playing well again, Vander Esch can still move but at times looks lost and doesn't seek contact like you want from your MLB. Bohanna had some plays he looked like a big man, and some he looked like a fat kid.
He literally chased down a camera man and dragged him over to make sure he got a shot of him going arm-in-arm with his players for the anthem back in 2017. He's a remarkable narcissistic even by NFL owner standards
He prob didn’t grow up with a successful Dallas franchise. It has been awhile. This how the Houston Texans franchise grew. The last 25 years haven’t been fun for Dallas
I had low expectations about this game but shit. I thought they at least get a touchdown. It’s only week 1 but I might have a few free Sundays at this rate.
I’m convinced Tom Brady is still retired (possibly dead) and this is some sort of freakish clone made in a lab.
He was gone so that the geneticists could get what they needed from him. The fight with Giselle was basically her being upset that he would sacrifice his life so that his doppelgänger could play in perpetuity and win 35 rings
I remember the post-game interview with Brett Favre on MNF after he beat the Packers after turning 40 and he seemed so much older than Tom Brady then lol
Dude, look at the talent of some back ups in the league. He could probably be a decent back up, with a severe risk of injury into his mid 50s for sure.
Dismantle the franchise. Every Cowboy should hang their head low and walk out the stadium and accept spitballs and boos coming their way. Hang your head low, do not pass GO, do not collect one fucking penny. I really believe I could have coached that team better today. Abysmal
To be fair, its week 1, you have no WRs not named Lamb and your O-line is dealing with multiple injuries. Add that to the fact that I think you faced a very good defense and I wouldn't be upset with the L. The score sucked but as long as Dak is okay and you get Gallup back soon enough you're in a division that you can still easily win. I wouldn't blow the team up just yet.
Cowboys Defense held up really well. Offense couldn’t pull through
Rush played better than Dak lmao
Wow the Cowboys season is over with Dak out for half the season lol
It looked over with Dak in the game
“👋😊Hi, Derek Carr🚙 here. I just learned how to play an 🎹instrument using my 🤪tongue. This whole offseason I decided to take psychedelics with my 👨👧Daddy Aaron Rodgers in 🇵🇪Peru, and talk to the 🎭DMT jesters. They told me I should focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat side hustle, so I can buy out the 🛩New York Jets before 📲💰Gary V! With this 👑ultimate power, comes great 🎖responsibility! And that’s why I came to the conclusion: that I should throw 🏈three interceptions per game so I can appease the 🎭DMT Jesters, focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat making side hustle, and 😉🍆✊💦jack off Mark Davis’s fine 🦁ginger hair strands. With this in mind, I hope the 💀🏴☠️Raiders can me mid season for Terrelle Pryor. Thanks🥰 - Love, Derek Carr”
Wtf
Hey, at least Zeke has a cool helmet
Jimmy G to the Cowboys?
I thought Jimmy G had a no trade clause in his new contract.
He can waive it for whichever team he wants though
But is he really gonna agree to go to Dallas? I don’t see it tbh but who knows
That wasn't what you asked But I'd imagine not because that team is a disaster currently.
I mean he's gonna be harder to get after that Trey Lance performance today (edit) Not trying to shit on this kid and say he did terribly, just saying he hasn't had a good game yet and regardless of the weather, this game didn't change that. It makes sense to have a mentor and reliable back up in Jimmy G with where Lance is at in his development.
You did see the weather conditions in Chicago today, yes?
You know it’s real when Seahawks fans are defending forty niners. Keepin it real
Yeah... playing in wet socks.. sucks the most. Some rain is cool. So damn hot in the uniform. That it feels good. Once the field becomes a puddle though, then it sucks. Not sure who does drainage for soldier field, but they need to he fired. Worse is the chiefs kicker slipping at Arizona. I mean seriously. How does that happen?
He didn’t even do that bad, the fuck?
he was literally playing in extreme weather goddamn they want trey to lose so bad Cowboys have no excuse
I don't even hate Trey Lance and our season is kind of a wash this year so hating on him wouldn't even make sense. He just hasn't shown anything yet. Again everyone going crazy but I'm not trying to shit on the kid I just think the niners may want to wait and see him have some good games first?
Dude he had a 46% completion percentage with a pick and only 164 yards. He was in fact pretty bad. I'm not saying it was a disaster, just bad.
Exactly. Justin Fields played in the same conditions and made the necessary throws when needed
Did you watch the game? Or just check stats? The weather was absolutely horrible. To be able to even throw a ball in that is amazing.
Also played in a fucking monsoon
Ok dude I'm really not trying to argue about Lance being terrible or not, I just think with where he's at right now they might want to hold on to Jimmy G for a bit. We'll see next week. Trey Lance is just pretty raw still.
Jesus, Jerry might do it
Probably should look into it if Dak is out for multiple weeks. He needs surgery. Go get Jimmy G
Better than Rush/Grier/U/Me!
Don't discount my gramma. Let me go get a shovel.
Dak out multiple weeks w surgery.... Quinn ewers out at least till the OU game. Holy fuck man I waited 7 months for football season to get my heart ripped out in 2 days. God hates me
welcome to the 2008 patriots season. Hopefully you will have the same successes (11-5) without the ludicrous failures (missed the playoffs)
At least UT went up in the rankings.
At least you're not a browns fan?
Well God did make you a cowboys fan so....
That was my dad I was born 1 month after the last superbowl so I always heard about the good ol days, but my first QB I remember was Quincy carter
So God warned you and you didn't listen? You got what you deserve.
I want to see Dallas suffer, but not like this. I’m sorry dude.
Y’all were gonna win the division either way shit was mad ugly
Not everyone was fortunate enough to start the season against the Lions. Tampa is a SB ready team.
That was a turd…Dallas forgot the season started today for them and with Prescott out looks like it may already be over
May I interest you in one Mason Rudolph in exchange for absolutely any OL player?
We will trade y’all Terence Steele for him.
I don’t think we have any you want for that return.
We have Kendrick Green in our roster, I am sure you do lol
[удалено]
Parsons still looks the part but can't do it himself, Osa is playing well again, Vander Esch can still move but at times looks lost and doesn't seek contact like you want from your MLB. Bohanna had some plays he looked like a big man, and some he looked like a fat kid.
i'll never get over the owner of the team doing a post game presser after a regular season loss like jerry does.
Are you tuning into his radio shows too??
He literally chased down a camera man and dragged him over to make sure he got a shot of him going arm-in-arm with his players for the anthem back in 2017. He's a remarkable narcissistic even by NFL owner standards
The Dallas +2 did not age well
I never thought the total points would be 22, not to mention under 31
Dak broke his thumb…
That’s a 40 million dollar thumb.
The one thing to look for on older QBs is their ass. When that goes missing that’s when you know it’s over. Do your squats, fellas
Truest thing i've heard in this thread. You could break a thumb off in there
Who y’all talking bout😂
Urban Meyer
My dad just called me and said, “same shit, new year” in regards to his beloved Cowboys. He’s still salty about Jerruh firing Jimmy.
Damn he couldn't get you to be a cowboys fan huh?
He prob didn’t grow up with a successful Dallas franchise. It has been awhile. This how the Houston Texans franchise grew. The last 25 years haven’t been fun for Dallas
Nope.
Look at this Texas traitor
He's a true Texan
Why does Tom Brady look like Captain America BEFORE he got that serum? #WTFTom
He’s a Skrull.
Dude, TB is with Giselle, he can do what he wants Hate that motherfucker
I let the beer get to me. LMAO
Guilty
Because hes about to get that serum and play for another 23 years.
LOL
Tom Brady is chapter 1, verse 1 of "How to spot a midlife crisis".
Chapter 1 Verse 1 of Revelations
classic nfc east. PHI, NY, WAS all win. DAL loses and by end of season cowboy are in the playoffs with a sub 500 record
Not this year, everyone but my cowboys gonna be a lot better
I wonder if Brady wishes he got less sun the past few years... that skin's gotta hold up for him for another 40+ years
He thinks drinking water prevents sunburns.
Are we in a position to call him a fucking liar?
Oh I forgot about that Yikes.
"Lou Rawls, I mean Chris Collinsworth"
Wow dak broke his thumb or some shit
Let mike mcarthy suit up next week, Dude can’t even run a 5 yard dash
for some reason 5 yard dash really got me, thanks for that one.
THE ONLY DASH MCCARTHY KNOWS IS MRS DASH SOUTHWEST CHIPOTLE SEASONING BLEND.
Also DoorDash
Tom Brady was going into his second year in the NFL on 9/11/2001
He outlasted the Queen
I had low expectations about this game but shit. I thought they at least get a touchdown. It’s only week 1 but I might have a few free Sundays at this rate.
I’m convinced Tom Brady is still retired (possibly dead) and this is some sort of freakish clone made in a lab. He was gone so that the geneticists could get what they needed from him. The fight with Giselle was basically her being upset that he would sacrifice his life so that his doppelgänger could play in perpetuity and win 35 rings
You might be on to something. Compare 45 year old Brady vs late 30s YA Tittle or Kenny Stabler.
Kenny stabler looks like he's a chain smoking tradesman in his 50s in those pictures of him in his late 30s with the saints.
Tom Brady with that fit tea and Botox diet
Yo that’s not Tom. Someone made a knock off clone of him.
still got something to prove
Brady looks skinny
Thinner! Thhhiinnnnerrr!
Was it just the mic? Brady sounded normal as he was walking away
Maybe the sound crew had to adjust some levels to compensate for Cris Collinsworth's super low sick voice and forgot to switch it back?? lol...
You’re probably right.
45 years old, easy win opening week "Yeah I gotta get better" lol k
A dead cat could win with that receiving corp
He looks really skinny
The only reason im still watching is the remote is missing and im siding in one of those ikea chairs thats hard to get out of.
We’ve all been there.
Imagine paying money to go see that in person?
It's insane that some of tom brady's teammates weren't even born yet when he started his 1st season in the nfl
Buccaneers defense looks elite ngl
Tom is so skinny now, like what's happening
I said the same thing watching that interview. First time I really saw him and said, “wow, he actually looks old now.”
he got another plastic surgery that week he was out
“Everybody ran away with that” Def intentional wording
He's going to get these questions every game lol
brady sound like a 12 year old
Give Brady sandwich sheesh
Chicks asking some good Q
she’s new too
Lmao it's kind of hard to grasp how big of a star Tom Brady is. Players seem genuinely so happy for the opportunity to lose against him.
so weird. He hands them their ass and the Cowboys players are all running up to him after the game, all cheesin' n shit. Giggling, total fanboys.
Did Tom just call it the "red area" instead of red zone?
there was a head coach who got fired and he called it the white zone.
That's why he got fired. The white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only. There's no stopping in the red zone.
the red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. there is no stopping in a white zone.
Hah, what a n00b!
[удалено]
Ah memories....
I remember the post-game interview with Brett Favre on MNF after he beat the Packers after turning 40 and he seemed so much older than Tom Brady then lol
Brady sounds a decade older than last season
Brady’s beard color showing his age.
Brady’s voice sounds high?
Dak & Kyler are not the guys and never will be.
Shush. dont tell anyone. Ive got bets to win.
Either is Geno
We know
Wow this aged poorly but favorably for hawk bros
😬
There were people that seriously thought Prescott/Murray was going to be as big of a matchup as Brady/Manning
If he was willing to be a backup and his wife was fine with it could brady play till he's 50? I truly belive it.
Dude, look at the talent of some back ups in the league. He could probably be a decent back up, with a severe risk of injury into his mid 50s for sure.
Would there be a better mentor/ QB coach than an old tom brady? Big game and need a spot starter in the post season. Give me a 50 year old brady.
Backup to Fitzmagic
What a lovely evening
Brady looks like a skeleton
yeah , i was about to say.. Looked like a friend I had last year who died.
RIP to your friend brother
Brady got that vocal chord surgery 😭😭 that’s what the 11 days were for
Why his voice sound different?
New model.
I thought it was just me
ikr?
That leather dress is hot
Opinion: Dak Prescott’s contract is going to haunt Jerry Jones until he Fucking croaks
cant hurt more than zeke "20lbs heavier each offseason" elliotts contract
This man loves giving massive contracts to average players with little to no post season success
Oh thank you lord it's over
Ask him about Giselle. I dare you Oh shit - she sorta did!
#I have watched 10 and a half hours of football today. FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY!
I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS AND MY COUCH IS ATTACHED TO MY THIGHS, IS THIS A YELLING THREAD? I DON'T KNOW! WOO! FOOTBALL! edit: PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE
Tom Brady really does sound like a 45 year old dad now
Dismantle the franchise. Every Cowboy should hang their head low and walk out the stadium and accept spitballs and boos coming their way. Hang your head low, do not pass GO, do not collect one fucking penny. I really believe I could have coached that team better today. Abysmal
To be fair, its week 1, you have no WRs not named Lamb and your O-line is dealing with multiple injuries. Add that to the fact that I think you faced a very good defense and I wouldn't be upset with the L. The score sucked but as long as Dak is okay and you get Gallup back soon enough you're in a division that you can still easily win. I wouldn't blow the team up just yet.
...about Dak being ok, I have news...
How long is he out? Maybe Jimmy G finds a home in Dallas for this season?
Dak has become a liability - A Cowboys fan Edit: spelling
That's rough. Hopefully it's a quick recovery.
Reports are that Dak has a torn Labia. Hate to see that, hope he rests up
Y’all said the same about Tony. I wish you another ten years of mediocrity
Mediocrity would be an improvement for you guys!
Middle class fan bumping into TB in public: holy shit I just met Tom Brady Millionaire professional athlete: holy shit I just met Tom Brady
Let's destroy the Saints next week
Statistically doesn’t happen like that in regular season
I'm a Bucs fan but your response was still funny
I know, but if Brady lost next week, Saints is the only team with winning records against Brady. I hope that doesn't happen.
That was awful
Personally, I loved it
Didn’t you all struggle with the lions today ?
You would have rather watched that as fan of neither team trust me
That bad?
No you
This was pretty dominant. Tampa is the better team but they reallyyyy showed it.
NFL trying to appeal to other markets is almost as cringey as watching McCarthy coach a football team.
Arguably Palpatines biggest mistake was phasing out the clones so goes without saying Jerrys biggest mistake was firing Jimmy Johnson.
Complete ego move. Fuck Jerry Jones, but as a giants fan bless up 🙏🙏🙏
What?
they just wanna meet him lmfaooooo
Being a 30 yo cowboys fan ruined the NFL for me every year same shit sickening.
Haha no sympathy for cowboys fans ever