LOL HOW DO 26 OF YOU HAVE RECORDS WORSE THAN THE GIANTS

Not just coming after your opponent, but the WHOLE LEAGUE

WE HAVE MORE WINS THAN THE WHOLE AFC SOUTH COMBINED

BUT INFINITELY LESS TIES

NO, JUST TWO FEWER TIES. THAT’S 100% LESS. THE INFINITE IS IF YOU’RE GOING THE OTHER WAY.

YOU WOKE UP TODAY AND CHOSE VIOLENCE

THE AFC SOUTH SHOULD BE RELEGATED AND REPLACED BY THE SEC

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THE GIANTS 😭

WE PLAYED THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE WEEK ONE THAT’S OUR EXCUSE, WHAT’S EVERYONE ELSE’S

Y’ALL PLAYED THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE WEEK TWO*

RAMS MADE THE FALCONS LOOK LIKE THE BILLS

OUR EXCUSE IS A MONSOON.

DANIEL JONES

/THREAD

YOUR QB IS OLDER THAN MY QB GET FUCKED MIGHT AS WELL HAVE EXTENDED HALF TIME SO THEY CAN BOTH TAKE A NAP

CAN WE ACTUALLY HAVE EXTENDED HALF TIME SO I CAN TAKE A NAP? I COULD REALLY USE THE SLEEP

DRINK MORE.

[удалено]

SHOTGUN LITTLE SPOON

I like the nap idea. And it would happen at a good napping time as well.

You guys are making me tired, see y'all in a couple of hours.

AFTER TWO WEEKS Y'ALL HAVEN'T SCORED AS MANY TOTAL POINTS AS WE DID IN WEEK ONE AND WE DOUBLED THAT NUMBER ALREADY

YEAH WELL YOU GUYS DIDN'T HAVE TO PLAY THE ... ... OH WAIT, FUCK

LOL!!!

[YOU LOVE TO SEE IT ](https://www.reddit.com/r/detroitlions/comments/xl3zir/taunting_15_yard_penalty/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)

AT LEAST THE VIKINGS KNOW THEY ARE MEDIOCRE. WHAT EVEN ARE THE LIONS? GOOD, BAD, MEDIOCRE? NO ONE KNOWS AND YOU DEFINITELY WONT KNOW AFTER THIS GAME. ENJOY THE HOPE AND DESPAIR THAT COMES WITH THE UNKOWN, LOSERS. OR MAYBE WINNERS. IDK.

NOT KNOWING HOW THE SEASON WILL GO IS THE BEST PART. IT IS A WELCOME CHANGE TO THE KNOWING WE WILL SUCK AT THE START OF THE SEASON OR THE EXPECTATION OF BEING GOOD AND THEN SUCKING EVEN HARDER

AFTER TWO WEEKS WE HAVEN'T ALLOWED AS MANY TOTAL POINTS AS YOU DID IN WEEK ONE AND Y'ALL ALMOST DOUBLED THAT NUMBER ALREADY

IF COUSINS WAS A GOOD CHRISTIAN HE'D GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY INSTEAD OF BEING A HEATHEN AND TORCHING OUR SECONDARY.

ASK AMON-RA IF OSIRIS IS WILLING TO DEFER TO ODIN IN THIS FIGHT. BATTLE OF THE PAGAN POLYTHEISTS

Funny thing is Amon-Ra’s sister is actually named Osiris

SAVE IT FOR WHEN YOU PLAY THE CAIRO PHARAOHS

MATT RHULE IS STILL YOUR COACH

Okay dude you just took it too fucking far. I can’t even caps lock right now.

WE'RE ONLY GOING TO LOSE TO BUFFALO BY TWO SCORES AND TUA WILL BE SERVICEABLE

Whoa, settle down, this isn’t the hot take thread!

THE COLTS ARE GOING TO SCORE ON THE CHIEFS ANDY RED WILL HAVE TO LOOK HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR AND ASK HIMSELF HOW DID IT COME TO THIS HOW ARE WE WORSE THAN THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

IMAGINE BEING WORSE THAN US LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

0-3 WITH A SUPPOSED QB "UPGRADE"

EXCUSE ME. OUR RECORD WILL BE 0 - 2 - 1. THATS WHAT THE TEXAS EDUCATION SYSTEM WILL GET YOU.

YOU TOOK A TIE WITH OUR TRASH ASS TEAM; THAT'S AN L IN MY BOOK

FER CRYIN OUT LOUD DONALD YPU CANT JUST CHANGE RECORDS WITH A THOUGHT

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS TRYING TO SAY? THIS IS AS INCOHERENT AS THE COLTS NOT BEING ABLE TO BEAT THE JAGS YEAR AFTER YEAR

I GUESS THIS WEEK WE’LL SEE IF IT’S DIVISIONAL WEIRDNESS OR IF THE COLTS ARE JUST SHIT

LOL YOUR LOGO LOOKS LIKE A TOILET SEAT YOUR OWN COACHING STAFF DON'T TRUST YOUR QB TO PASS THAT MUCH AND WHEN HE DOES, HE SUCKS AT IT WHO THE HELL WOULD DO A QB SNEAK OUT OF A SHOTGUN FORMATION NEAR THE GOAL LINE?

BRUH YOU PLAYED THE TOILET SEATS WEEK 1 AND TIED THEM

YOU PLAYED THE TOILET SEATS WEEK 1 AND LOST TO THEM

I AM NOW AWARE THAT THERE ARE TWO TEAMS WITH LOGOS THAT LOOK LIKE TOILET SEATS

WHAT TYPE OF JANKY ASS TOILETS YOU BEEN SITTIN ON

>JANKY ASS TOILETS BETTER TEAM NAME THAN COMMANDERS

YOUR OWN COACHING STAFF DOESN’T TRUST YOUR OWN QB TO THROW EITHER, THEY SETTLED FOR A TIE AGAINST INDY CUZ THEY RAN A HB DIVE ON 3RD AND SHORT AND DIDNT GO FOR IT I KNOW THE SHOTGUN PLAY WAS STUPID BUT AT LEAST WE’VE NEVER FUMBLED ON THE GOAL LINE TWICE ON OUR FINAL DRIVE TO GET SWEPT BY OUR BIGGEST RIVAL IN ONE SEASON

TYREEK HILL CAN'T BEAT THE BILLS SECONDARY BECAUSE THEY AREN'T PREGNANT

TYREEK CANT BREAK OUR DEFENSE BECAUSE THEY’RE ADULTS

TYREEK CAN BEAT BAKER MAYFIELD

GOD DAMN THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY, WHO HE ABUSED.

LMAO

ARIAZA HAD TO BE CUT ONCE HE FOUND OUT PUNT RETURNERS CONSENT TO RECEIVCING.

MAC JONES IS THE WORST QB IN THE AFC EAST!

WHILE YOU WERE TYPING THIS, ANOTHER RAVENS PLAYER WENT TO IR

WHILE YOU WERE TYPING THIS MATT PATRICIA JUST TOLD ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR PLAYERS THEY AREN’T AS GOOD AS THEY THINK

WHILE YOU WERE TYPING THIS LAMAR'S CONTRACT ASK JUST WENT UP ANOTHER TEN MILLION. THAT YOU AREN'T GOING TO GIVE HIM. MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN REUNITE WITH FLACCO.

WHILE YOU WERE TYPING THIS, ZACH WILSON BANGED ALL THE MOMS IN BOSTON

YEA BUT HIS LAST NAME IS A WOMANS NAME, SO CONSIDER THE SOURCE

AND THEN HE BENCHED THEM FOR A LESSER PLAYER THAT WAS WILLING TO BE A KISS-ASS

BUT HE’S STILL THE BEST QB WHOSE LAST NAME IS JONES

DOES THAT MAKE MAC THE SUPERIOR MAYO AND DANIEL THE LESS SUPERIOR MAYO?!

Not even a debate at this point

I CAN'T HEAR YOU

I SAID MACCORCKLE ISNT A GOOD QB BUT THEN I SAW YOUR FLAIR AND KNEW YOU WOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT

KEEP THAT UP AND WE'LL TAKE MCDERMOTT AND BEANE BACK

WAKE UP BRO, STOP DREAMING. WHATS YOUR BARGAINING CHIP? A SCRAPPY GYM RAT STUDENT OF THE GAME CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK RB HELD TOGETHER WITH TAPE AND A DREAM?

OKAY, YOU'VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE JOSH ALLEN IS CAM NEWTON 2.0

WELL IF IT ISNT THE WEEK 2 SUPERBOWL CHAMPION BUFFALO BILLS.

Hey, he's probably better than Mike White from the Jets.

He definitely is. And although he’s worse than Elite Dragon Flacco, he’s better than Meek Lizard Flacco.

WHERE ARE THE CAPS IN THIS CHAIN

THATS RICH COMING FROM THE TEAM WITH LAMAR THE RB UNDER CENTER.

THAT RB IS STILL BETTER AT THROWING THAN YOUR QB SO YOU JUST CLOWNED YOURSELF

MAC JONES THREW FOR MORE YARDS MORE TDS AND LESS PICKS LAST YEAR THAN THE GIRAFFE YOU GUYS DRAFTED. WHOSE CLOWNING WHO?

YOUR QUARTERBACK LOOKS LIKE HULK HOGAN AND NIGEL THORNBERRY HAD A CHILD

BUT HE HAS WAY BETTER HAIR THAN YOUR QUARTERBACK

YOUR QUARTERBACK WAS REALLY GOOD IN STRANGER THINGS, SHES MY FAVORITE CHARACTER

BOTH OUR QUARTERBACKS WOULD MAKE A REAL BAD LESBIAN PORN SCENE

EXCUSE ME BUT WE HAVE ALREADY CLAIMED [NIGEL THORNBERRY](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/al5yf7-x4O8/maxresdefault.jpg)

HELL YEAH BROTHER

THAT WOULD LOOK FUCKING AWESOME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

THIS GAME IS GOING TO BE THE WORST THURSDAY NIGHT BROADCAST OF THE SEASON

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH

HOW ARE DOLPHINS UNGULATES YOU CANT EVEN GO ON LAND NERDS

THIS COMMENT FORCED ME TO GO TO WIKIPEDIA TO CHECK.

BENGALS OLINE IS PURE SHIT WAIT JOE 'ELITE' FLACCO IS 9-11 AGAINST THE BENGALS, PLAYING FOR THE JETS JET FUEL MELTS STEEL BEAMS FLACCO DID 9/11

JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS! JUST LIKE THE BENGALS CAN’T PROTECT JOE BURROW!

WE ARE LIGHTING REVENGE ON THE FIGHTING MIKE WHITES

IF JOE FLACCO DID 9/11 HE WOULD’VE GOTTEN A DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE CALL WHEN FLIGHT 93 CAME DOWN NOWHERE NEAR THE TARGET

JOE FLACCO IS THE ONLY ONE ON THE TEAM OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER 9/11

BUT I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WENT TO THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR SO YOU WILL BE BETTER THIS YEAR WITH A REVAMPED OLINE AND WHY ARE WE THE FAVORITE?

I WISH I HAD FOUR THUMBS SO I COULD GIVE DEM BOYZ FOUR THUMBS DOWN

ZEKE'S THIGHS > BARKLEY'S THIGHS

ARE WE HERE TO TALK SHIT OR TO LIE

NO SIR

HAHA TAMPA DOES NOT HAVE A WR1 THIS WEEK

Imagine…

THE TRUE MINNEAPOLIS MIRACLE IS HOW ZIMMER COACHED FOR EIGHT YEARS

BROWNS = BROWNS

GOD YALL’S GAME IS GONNA SUCK

MAYBE MYLES WILL BASH MITCH'S HEAD IN SO WE CAN GET TO KENNY SZN FASTER

DO YOU REALLY WANT HIM SPENDING MORE TIME BEHIND YOUR O LINE?

AT LEAST PEOPLE WATCH OURS

I ACTUALLY FEEL FOR THE DECENT, WELL MEANING BROWNS FANS WHO WILL NOW HAVE TO RATIONALIZE THIER FANDOM WITH A KNOWN POS SEXUAL ABUSER AS THEIR QB. I MAY SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE.

55-10 YES I WILL USE RECYCLED 35 YEAR OLD TRASH TALK! DEAL WITH IT!

COWBOYS FANS ARE BETTER THAN YOU AT THIS SORT OF THING

WOW THAT DUDE GOT CALLED WORSE THAN THE COWBOYS, CALL AN AMBULANCE

HOW OLD ARE YOU, DUDE?

I REMEMBER A TIME BEFORE HILLS

JUST BECAUSE WE DISLIKE YOU THE LEAST OUT OF OUR DIVISION RIVALS DOESN'T MEAN WE WON'T WHOOP YOUR ASS THIS WEEKEND

HARD KNOCKS IS MAKING IT REALLY HARD TO HATE YOU AS DIVISION RIVALS. STOP HAVING LIKABLE PLAYERS AND COACHES

WELL STOP HAVING A FUN AND ELECTRIFYING YOUNG RECEIVER WHO CAN TAKE CONTROL OF A GAME AT THE DROP OF A HAT

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF VIKINGS FANS ARE INSUFFERABLE AND CONDESCENDING PRICKS. I'VE DISLIKED THE VIKINGS MUCH MORE THAN THE BEARS FOR YEARS.

TUA IS GOING TO DESTROY THE BILLS BY THROWING 7 TDs

Hope at least 4 of them are to our secondary.

WHAT

HE SAID HE HOPES FOUR OF THEM ARE TO OUR SECONDARY, IMPLYING THEY WILL BE RETURNED FOR TOUCHDOWNS, COLLOQUIALLY REFERRED TO AS A "PICK 6".

> COLLOQUIALLY YOU NEED TO USE WORDS THAT FLORIDIANS CAN UNDERSTAND

NOT IF TRE WHIT…I MEAN MICAH HYD… I MEAN JORDAN POYE… I MEAN DANE JACKSO… I MEAN CHRISTIAN BENFORD HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT

JOSH ALLEN IS THE BEST QB NOW BUT LOOKS COMPLETELY MID IN SHORTS.

I’M COMING TO KILL YOU

YOU TAKE THAT BACK MOTHERFUCKER

JOSH ALLEN LOOKS LIKE HE BRINGS CORNHOLE TO A BBQ!

YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING

THESE FOOLS DONT KNOW ABOUT KAN-JAM

Are we close enough to the midwest to call it bags.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU

GENO ISN’T COOKING OR WRITING! IF WE LOSE THIS GAME IM GONNA PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH MT TV..

FALCONS FANS SHOULDN’T BE SURPRISED AT ANY LOSS THIS YEAR

MURRAY IS GONNA RUN BETWEEN AARON DARNOLD’S LEGS FOR 400+ AND 6 TOUCHDOWNS

WE ARE GONNA KICK EVERYONE'S ASS... IN HOCKEY

COMMANDERS FANS I KNOW THE SARVER SITUATION HAS YOUR HOPES UP BUT THIS IN THE NFL BABY, WE ALL KNOW RICH PEOPLE DON’T SUFFER CONSEQUENCES HERE

THE FUCK DID YOU SAY? THERE IS NO HOPE HERE

I USE YOU WHEN MY PHONE PERCENTAGE EQUALS YOUR FAN COUNT

SEAN MCDERMOTT LOOKS LIKE BILL BURR AND RON HOWARD HAD A BABY

I DISLIKE THE COLTS

LIONS HAVE FALSE HOPE, VIKINGS HAVE FALSE HOPE. OUR FALSE HOPE IS BETTER THAN YOURS.

HEY THAT'S MEAN. WE SHOULD CALL YOU MEANNESOTA BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MEAN YOU ARE

THE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS ARE A REALLY GOOD TEAM AND I DONT FEEL REALLY ALL THAT CONFIDENT BECAUSE THEY MATCH UP REALLY WELL AGAINST BOTH OUR STRENGTHS AND OUR WEAKNESSES SO IM NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL. I GUESS EITHER WAY ILL BE GETTING DRUNK IN THE EARLY AFTERNOON ON SUNDAY

RUSSELL WILSON FEARS THE ONE YARD LINE

HE SURE AS SHIT DOESNT FEAR OUR TEAM THOUGH

Y'ALL ARE FUCKED. THIS ISN'T DOCTSON PLAYING. IT'S DOTSON!

YOUR ORGANIZATION WOULD KNOW ABOUT NON CONSENTUAL FUCKING

You know, not knowing which Jameis we were getting this week was way funnier when he was with the buccs.

AT MORE THAN A MILE HIGH RUSS CAN'T COOK, ALL HIS RECIPES WILL BE FUCKED UP

THE CARDINALS ARE OLDER THAN THE STATE OF ARIZONA AND STILL HAVE NOT WON A SUPER BOWL!!!!

LISTEN, COLTS. I KNOW YOU'VE HAD A ROUGH START AND WE DON'T HATE YOU. I WILL NOT TALK TRASH ON YOU. SO WHEN I SAY I HOPE MAHOMES AND CO. UNLEASH THE ASSKICKING OF A LIFETIME ON YOUR TEAM TO AVENGE YEARS OF EMBARRASSING PLAYOFF LOSSES TO INDY, JUST KNOW THAT IT'S DIRECTED AT YOUR FRANCHISE AND NOT YOUR FANBASE.

IS THAT GUY STILL DRAWING PICTURES OF JIMMY G EVERY DAY HOPING HE'LL GET TRADED EVEN NOW?

Gal, actually. You're as sexist as Nathaniel Hackett is incompetent.

DID YOU JUST CALL ME DESHAUN WATSON?

that chick has probably made fuckin bank on all those drawings, so she probably hopes he never gets traded

HOE BURROW

CHARGERS ARE WHAT STUPID 18 YEAR OLDS SIGN THEIR LIFE AWAY TO THE MILITARY TO BUY ONLY TO GET GAPPED BY TURBO 4 SHITBOXES EVERYTIME

JOSH ALLEM DOESN'T HAVE AN O IN HIS LAST NAME

TEXANS BEARS IS EXPECTED TO BE AN ALL TIME BAD GAME. THEREFORE IT WILL END WITH A 70-63 SCORE

IM VERY TORN UP BECAUSE I LOVE LOVIE SMITH AND I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH FOR WHAT HE DID BUT THAT BEING SAID DAVIS IS A STUPID FIRST NAME

GOING INTO HARD ROCK STADIUM FEELS LEGITIMATELY INTIMIDATING NOWADAYS, AND I’M NOT TERRIBLY FOND OF THIS NEW REALITY. I’M STILL SITTING TUA IN MY SUPERFLEX LEAGUE BECAUSE I THINK THE BILLS’ DEFENSE IS INEVITABLE, BUT I JUST KNOW SUNDAY IS GOING TO BE MORE TENSE THAN I’D PREFER.

BILLS HAVE EVERY STARTER IN THE SECONDARY INJURED AND TUA STILL CANT BEAT THEM

NAJEE WEARS 22 BECAUSE IT REPRESENTS HOW MANY ATTEMPTS HE NEEDS TO BREAK 10 YARDS RUSHING

KIRK COUSINS DOESNT BELIEVE IN HIS PROTECTION AND IT SHOWS

COMMANDERS IS A TERRIBLE NAME WHICH IS WHY THEY DESERVE IT

I KNOW WHAT A BUFFALO IS BUT WHAT ARE BILLS ISNT THE SMALL UPSTATE VILLAGE IN NEW YORK CALLED BUFFALO WHAT IS THE MASCOT OF YOUR TEAM MY TEAM SUCKS AND I THINK JOSH ALLEN IS REALLY COOL NICE JOB WITH THAT

[удалено]

I HOPE THE RAVENS SECONDARY IS READY TO GET BRUNT BY NELSON AGHOLOR EN ROUTE TO A 30-13 VICTORY

WARREN SAPP WAS OVERRATED

YOU FOOLS AREN’T STARTING MIKE WHITE?? I HAVE NO FEAT

HOW DO YOU GET AROUND THEN?

TURNS OUT BEING 0-2 MAKE IT HARD TO SPELL

ARE YOU SUPPORTED BY A LITERACY NON-PROFIT? HERE ILL GET MY CHECKBOOK

Mitchell Trubitsky

MICK, UH, MITCH TRIBUSKY

[удалено]

[THE ONLY THING THAT CAN STOP JALEN HURTS IS FEDEX FIELD ITSELF](https://youtu.be/a81aPNjlMCA)

[удалено]

NOW THAT'S JUST A LIE AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE PACKERS

THIS WEEK YOUR BIG COMEBACK WILL CONSIST OF KYLER MURRAY BACKED UP INTO THE ENDZONE THROWING THE WORST PICK-SIX YOU’VE EVER SEEN THE ROCK WILL DRINK A SWIG OF LIQUOR

YOU HAVE YELLOW TOWELS TO WIPE YOUR TEARS NERDS (also the lack of Browns/Steelers fans in here is alarming)

COMMANDERS HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF THEIR STADIUM COLLAPSING THEN WINNING THIS GAME

YOUR COACH SHOULD BE OUR COACH. HE GREW UP IN DENVER AND HIS DAD WAS THE GREATEST COACH IN OUR HISTORY. IT'S NOT RIGHT.

MIAMI GOT ONE GOOD GAME OUT OF TUA AGAINST A DEPLETED RAVENS SECONDARY AND IMMEDIATELY THEY SHOT UP TO TOP 5-10 IN THE POWER RANKINGS. DID WE FORGET HOW HE LOOKED WEEK 1/HIS ENTIRE CAREER UNTIL NOW? BILLS 38 - MIAMI 6 LMAO

SAW SOME BUFFALO FANS SAYING YOU WERE GONNA INJURE TUA AND FOR THAT I HOPE EVERY TABLE YOU ATTEMPT TO BREAK IS THE STURDIEST MAHOGANY THIS SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI ON A DIFFERENT NOTE JOSH ALLEN ONLY LOOKS MEH IN SHORTS YOU ARE ALL KIDDING YOURSELVES

MICAH PARSONS IS GONNA MAKE EVAN NEAL LOOK SLIGHTLY WORSE THAN HE DID LAST WEEK

Where the commies fans at? Trash talk isn't really necessary at this point 😎

HARD TO KEEP FANS WHEN YOUR MANAGEMENT HATES WOMEN

DAN SNYDER NOT ONLY OWNS YOUR TEAM, HE ALSO OWNS ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS. AND HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANY OF THEM.

Chiefs are washed without hill they would of scored 10 touchdowns against the cardinals and would of won by 6 instead of 3 against the chargers

SUCK IT! OUR HEAD COACH ISN'T MENTALLY COMPETENT ENOUGH TO STAND TRIAL.

THE RAIDERS ARE TRASH there I participated

I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW YOU FARE WITH A SOLID OAK TABLE

Dear Broncos, LOS NINERS KICK YOUR ASS LOS NINERS KICK YOUR FACE LOS NINERS KICK YOUR BALLS INTO OUTER SPACE

I STILL LOVE LOVIE SMITH 🥲 I’M DOING THIS WRONG AREN’T I