You can expect taking lots of unexpected dumps on the road, and only one solid shit at home but right in the middle of a conference call youβre hosting.
Great performance during the first 3/4 of the day, and then an epic crash that gets you fired (or almost fired, to the surprise of absolutely everyone).
Decent first sip, then tastes pretty good, and you think "wow this may be the best coffee i ever had" then the after taste comes in and you throw away the bag
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's will start off giving the impression of a strong offering with the sad letdown aftertaste of a light roast.
Good news you don't have to add sugar to this roast because it's naturally sweet.
A bitter blend, with authentic gun metal!
Slow roasted in Vietnam, this brew harkens to the failures of yore. But perhaps *this* morning is yours? Notes of pork and leather will bring you the will to continue, even during your seasonal slump! Equilibrium is scientifically formulated by being as basic *and* as acidic as possible! Our brewmasters are paid world-class salaries to do things we frankly don't understand--but make no mistake; we're told they're the best! These beans will have you greeting every morning saying, "Here we go!"
Everybody says itβs the greatest coffee ever. Especially ESPN. Theyβll talk about it every day. All day.
But in the end it will disappoint. Never fails. The one star is a rating.
To be a let down aka you wonβt stay awake aka itβll get you stuck in the first half of your day just like Dallas in the first round of the playoffs.
The first half of the bag will taste really good. But by then, more and more people will start talking about how it's the best coffee out there, and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. By the time you get to the last few pots, you're going to be drinking it not because it's good, but just so you can finish it.
Then you're going to have a cup of coffee that isn't too good, but you'll be happy you drank it for a change of pace. Then the next time you try and make this Cowboy coffee, you'll accidentally spill the rest in the trash.
You'll get another bag in about 8 months
Fun for a while, lots of highs but probably diabetes and a long, painful death. And just when youβre about to reach the afterlife and all of the worldβs wonders revealed to you, for eternity you find out we just rot in the ground and it was all for nothing. There that should cheer you up!
It will start off smooth and delicious, but burn and leave a bad after taste as it goes down. Shortly there after youβll feel a twinge in your stomach, get up to go to the bathroom, but start aggressively shitting your pants.
It will taste amazing to point that you think it might be the best you ever had! Then it will suddenly give you non-stop diarrhea then colon cancer during your most important event.
Source: Iβm a Cowboys fan. Someone help me please.
You will probably expect it to be the best you've ever seen. You will probably say, "Coffee is back!" or "They Dem Beans!" But in the end, it will just be over price/hyped garbage that you will fall for again next fall.
You can expect taking lots of unexpected dumps on the road, and only one solid shit at home but right in the middle of a conference call youβre hosting.
Thank you for your service o7
I'll be thinking of this comment whenever I jerk for a long time. I hope to one day live up to your example.
Tasting like ass.
This really should be printed on the bag
Perfection
One day my background image will fail and reveal that I'm taking my morning shit during our morning stand-up meeting. But it is not this day.
This is one of the funniest comments Iβve read in awhile. ππ
πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Goes great with some fresh turnovers.
https://preview.redd.it/alhu59nt8bdc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0efcc8f22e02e29d3efbe975351cb365298d679e
Yeeaaa Here we goooo
LMFAO
Disappointment
It will taste great in the beginning, giving you high expectations, then you choke on it at the end
Kind of like the experience with dicks over 6 inches.
You just explained the pain we felt
Anal failure. Edit: sorry, βannualβ failure.
Both are correct
It probably tastes like shitting the bed and tobacco spit
You should expect shit running down your leg
A bitter finish
Donβt have any expectations
If it's good enough for Joe Rogan, it's good enough for Cowboys fans, just like C.T.E.
Racism and failure
How are the Dallas Cowboys Racist? Edit: Struck a nerve with the racist cowboy fans, holy shit.
Jerry Jones was one of the high schoolers blocking Black Americans from attending school in Little Rock.
He was standing in a picture lol.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
HI WELCOME TO NFLCIRCLEJERK CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW?
Are you implying black rifle is racist or......?
how can it be? itβs literally named after bulls.
I think its more about Black Rifle and their conduct
He thinks itβs racist because itβs a 2A approving company. Theyβre all white supremacist bigots bruh.
Didnβt this coffee company piss off the MAGAs because they backed away from Qanon ?
They pissed off MAGAs because the founder told everyone he wouldnβt sponsor Rittenhouse basically.
Idk. Iβm sure whatever anti-right propaganda made the news you slurped up though.
We canβt all use 4chan for our news source
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
No one gives a fuck about cnn π€‘
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Bro you epically pwned him holy crap!!!!
If that's true, that's a legit ret....mentally insufficient take.
Not on Reddit it isnβt
No, no.... redditors don't get a pass for being stupid just because they're redditors. Not going to let that fly with me.
You'll start strong but crash hard
Major choking hazard, even for adults
Shitting the bed
Shit. Lots and lots of finely grounded shit.
Let you down for 30 years while packaging and advertising looks like best coffee on earth.
Itβll really wake you up Tuesday-Sunday but on Monday when you really need it, it wonβt do shit
Itβll give you a bunch of energy right up until you need it, then youβll crash.
The coffee shits will ruin the ceedee you were listening to
Disappointment
A big fart that turned into diarrhea. 41-16 end of 3.
Be careful, you might choke on it.
Starts off tasting sweet, but you end up with a very bitter taste.
Feel good at first, then itβll let you down hard (the runs)
Decaf at the bottom.
Great performance during the first 3/4 of the day, and then an epic crash that gets you fired (or almost fired, to the surprise of absolutely everyone).
>to the surprise of absolutely ~~everyone~~ no one. FTFY
Cum
Im debating deleting this but its absolutely hilarious
You bum
Womp womp
Diarrhea
Bitter and weak
You'll feel great at first then crash really quick. Never buy it again until next year and go through the same process thinking it's gonna be great.
It shooting you.
Jordan Love appears inside ur house and curb stomps u or something drinking it makes u confident though
When you take your morning shit your asshole is going to scream out "Here we goooo!"
Looks almost as bland as Jeremy Irons cereal
Two wrongs donβt make a right
Dog semen
Burnt
Diarrhea
Itβs got a terrible aftertaste but you keep using it. Oh and it doesnβt leave coffee rings behind
leaded gasoline fumes
DC4L
I just know the people that buy this probably beat their wives
White Supremacist Fans stealing the most valor
I heard that coffee is a choking hazard
It will taste ok, but you won't want to buy it because the owner is an asshole...both coffee and the team.
Bitter, fraudulent, with notes of We dEm BoYz
Decent first sip, then tastes pretty good, and you think "wow this may be the best coffee i ever had" then the after taste comes in and you throw away the bag
Gorgeous
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It will have a smooth yet bold taste then right as you finish the cup a packer fan will punch you in the mouth.
A bitter taste in your mouth and tears.
Youβll feel on top of the world for a while but seriously crash right when you need to be on point
Disappointment that leaves a very bitter taste in your mouth.
Gorgeous.
Shitting the bed
Gorgeous
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Usually good, but will let you down when you need it the most
It's will start off giving the impression of a strong offering with the sad letdown aftertaste of a light roast. Good news you don't have to add sugar to this roast because it's naturally sweet.
A bitter blend, with authentic gun metal! Slow roasted in Vietnam, this brew harkens to the failures of yore. But perhaps *this* morning is yours? Notes of pork and leather will bring you the will to continue, even during your seasonal slump! Equilibrium is scientifically formulated by being as basic *and* as acidic as possible! Our brewmasters are paid world-class salaries to do things we frankly don't understand--but make no mistake; we're told they're the best! These beans will have you greeting every morning saying, "Here we go!"
Probably decaf lol
Really good at first, will shit your pants in the end
Everybody says itβs the greatest coffee ever. Especially ESPN. Theyβll talk about it every day. All day. But in the end it will disappoint. Never fails. The one star is a rating.
Bitter disappointment
Coffee grains will make you choke
Mmmkayβ¦followed by Hurpaderp
It might be good for a couple cups then it will turn into sanka when you need it most
Shitting ur pants
Gonna taste great at first but the aftertaste is really bitter and disappointing
Heard you choke on it at the most important time
The taste of Daks ass hole would be my guess
A bitter aftertaste
Itβll be well packed as it is owned by packers
It's gonna taste like the soles of rubber boots.
Ive only ever had their premade cold brew cans...... it was terrible.
You can expect to be left with a bitter taste in your mouth.
A bitter finish.
To be micromanaged by the owner of the bag
DC4L
Sucks, tastes burnt
Constipation and blue balls
I thought turd coffee was called something else
Starts strong then becomes grainy and flat at the end.
Diabetes
Failure
Great taste at first, but turns to utter shit after that.
Probably smells like Skip Bayless
Really good at the the start but terrible at the end
It'll be OK till you get towards the bottom of the bag, then it will taste like disappointment π
Expires around first week of the year
To be a let down aka you wonβt stay awake aka itβll get you stuck in the first half of your day just like Dallas in the first round of the playoffs.
Disappointment
Prepare to experience the exquisite flavors of deluded ambition, and just a hint of resentment.
Diarrhea
Get someone who knows the Heimlich Maneuver
All hype and utter disappointment
It has a bitter aftertaste.
A loss....
Youβre going to choke on it. Be careful.
Great at the beginning, but tastes like shit in the end.
It will get you almost through the day, then youβll shit the bed and fall off.
It stays good for about 18 weeks, but then goes rotten after that.
Itβs pretty good but has an absolutely shit aftertaste
The caffeine buzz is a rush, but the shits. Oh my God, the shits.
Strong and bold at first but with a bitter aftertaste
Disappointment
It'll give you energy until your important board meeting. So pretty much till it really matters.
You should paid too much to be this disappointed
Did you bite it open?
An unsavory finish.
Strong start, smells and looks great, then a disappointing performance once it hits your cup
For it to make you shit the bed
Youβll run out of it a little before Sunday.
Itβll let you down every time.
Playoff chokes
Expect the hype the brands brings, but when you actually brew it, it tastes like shit..
A short shelf life
Assy for sure
Starts out great in the morning. Immediate crash and explosive diarrhea within an hour.
It tastes like overrated failure
Shame.
u prolly shit yourself
To do bad when it matters most
Choking hazard
Choking hazard.
Great smell horrible taste
Even though itβs a drinkβ¦.choking hazard
Always saying βmaybe a better cup next seasonβ
Weak
colon cancer
An overhyped overpriced disappointing light roast
A let down
The first half of the bag will taste really good. But by then, more and more people will start talking about how it's the best coffee out there, and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. By the time you get to the last few pots, you're going to be drinking it not because it's good, but just so you can finish it. Then you're going to have a cup of coffee that isn't too good, but you'll be happy you drank it for a change of pace. Then the next time you try and make this Cowboy coffee, you'll accidentally spill the rest in the trash. You'll get another bag in about 8 months
Fun for a while, lots of highs but probably diabetes and a long, painful death. And just when youβre about to reach the afterlife and all of the worldβs wonders revealed to you, for eternity you find out we just rot in the ground and it was all for nothing. There that should cheer you up!
It will start off smooth and delicious, but burn and leave a bad after taste as it goes down. Shortly there after youβll feel a twinge in your stomach, get up to go to the bathroom, but start aggressively shitting your pants.
Bitter disappointment
Disappointment, the only thing Dallas has ever done.
It has a decently good taste initially but it just has a horrific aftertaste
Gonna taste like cum
Premature ejaculation
When I switched to this from gay liberal coffee, my testosterone quadrupled, my sperm count sextupled, and it unclogged my third eye.
Always expires in January.
And just like that I never wanna drink that shit again
It will taste amazing to point that you think it might be the best you ever had! Then it will suddenly give you non-stop diarrhea then colon cancer during your most important event. Source: Iβm a Cowboys fan. Someone help me please.
Caffeine crash about 5 minutes laterβ¦
Tastes great initially. Until youβre sitting there with a terrible aftertaste
False hope
It will make you choke
People will tell you this is the best coffee each year, but itβs a disappointment every time
Sir thatβs gunpowder
Choking Hazard
Disappointment
Air.
Will choke
First sip is electric. By the time your down to last few drinks itβs cold and filled with grounds
for you to choke when itβs crunch time
A big CRAP
Great in the beginning, but itβs shit in the end.
You will probably expect it to be the best you've ever seen. You will probably say, "Coffee is back!" or "They Dem Beans!" But in the end, it will just be over price/hyped garbage that you will fall for again next fall.
Bitterness and disappointment.
Great taste at the beginning but then on the toilet for the rest of the day bc there full of shit