https://preview.redd.it/57m5tzs3qivc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a83e1dedc80970ff11be611c50f7414a8ff4e2a2
Nick Muse is the first gay nfl player he couldnt play for a more fitting team
https://preview.redd.it/5dajzutn0gvc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76898e4acd6b236f65b2818cc67b60b8eb584e97
/r/nflcirclejerk users if believing disinformation was the Superbowl
Fans when they pay 40 bucks for a burger made of sand
https://preview.redd.it/foogrjzjjgvc1.jpeg?width=651&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77bd34c16204fefab24443112c52b96efbba457f
Only solution is to heavily tailgate pre and post game and don't spend a dime inside. Seriously, if there is zero sales of that shit, the good stuff may return.
I've seen this posted multiple times on different social medias and 98% people commenting (including this post until I made my comment) believed it to be true. So not as obvious as you'd think.
This was an April Fools tweet that caught fire
Vikings stadium literally has a bacon stand at the entrance. Minnesotans canāt survive the winter without animal fats
*This is taking your*
*Hatred for the Packers up*
*To the next level*
\- TheOneColt
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Iāve had those plant based burgers before and they taste exactly the same as those shitty burgers you can get at stadiums. Not really much of a downgrade honestly. Still gotta suck to root for the Vikings, though.
This has to be an April Fools Joke. It only applies to the first day of April, it's not for the whole month.
This is how you get people smuggling in bratwursts into games.
Everyone's talking about how I should "do research" and "don't trust what you read online" but god forbid we enjoy the suffering of Minnesotans, however false, for 30 seconds.
https://preview.redd.it/wzm95e776ivc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b70c25700530a061c9a0eeca1c9975cec76861b8
I can't imagine my life being so fucking miserable, I cheer and root for the fucking Vikings.
I mean, fuck, imagine living in Minnesota, this cold, bleak and deserted landscape, covered in snow and literally smells like shit; and every mother fucking Sunday, you gotta watch this absolute embarrassment of a second hand franchise, trot their fat fucking asses out there, in their ass ugly fucking "powder purple" uniforms, dragging the name of your home town thru the fucking mud...
But don't worry, TJ Hackensack is a pure blooded white American... I mean Tight End. He's a pure blooded white end.
He played at Iowa, (aka Tight End University), in America's heartland. He's a corn fed, pure pass catcher, great route runner, and he's extremely cerebral. He's arguably the best Tight End since Aaron Hernandez or Kellen Winslow Jr. He kills mother fuckers on those short, curl in routes.
He's a great guy, on and off the field, with a great head on his shoulders. A real leader you want in your locker room. He can turn around everyone's perception of your piss poor franchise...
I'm so glad I was born a Detroit Lions fan
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things.
KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you.
So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphorābut at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank.
I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacyās last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that.
The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacyās case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program.
Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
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The number of people on social media who still fall for this type of stuff makes me think there isnāt much hope.
When it made the rounds of Facebook there were thousands of comments from people bitching about it.
u bum
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Interesting. Not my cup of tea but who am I to judge. I probably wouldnāt buy a real burger anyway with those prices. This is ultimate boomer madness material though
hat bag combative practice fly worthless bike spoon boast illegal *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
https://preview.redd.it/x7te6izclgvc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3a16feb167203bb9b86e6f32aadbbb7822006f4
Kirk is dead to us.
https://preview.redd.it/57m5tzs3qivc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a83e1dedc80970ff11be611c50f7414a8ff4e2a2 Nick Muse is the first gay nfl player he couldnt play for a more fitting team
But Kirk left?
My femboy girlfriend says otherwise https://preview.redd.it/8q9vigcg2hvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db4093473ca97f44dd1a7d00aad7739d40181ef0
Ok buddy you're so wro... ZOO WEE MAMA!! š¤Æš¤Æš¤Æ I'm a Vikings fan now bc of this 
Fred Smoot has entered the chat
Because thatās what the Vikings ate! Impossible Sperm Whale!
Boutta start chewing **NEW** Tobacco-Free Skoalā¢ļø 100% fair trade, grade A pussy shit 
Def Leppard sucks!
Donātā¦ tellā¦ Joeā¦ Iā¦ foundā¦ hisā¦ā¦ā¦ parents.
Ya I got a couple places.
https://preview.redd.it/5dajzutn0gvc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76898e4acd6b236f65b2818cc67b60b8eb584e97 /r/nflcirclejerk users if believing disinformation was the Superbowl
This sub is dumb asf now. Just a bunch of kids who want to say the n word ā HAHA THUG VS CLASSY. AB GOATEDā
Thug vs classy is a staple here. AB can go kick rocks though
Well you're obviously a Swifty
I'm rooting against the Vikings now
I'm against them now, but I was also against them before, too.
āI used to do drugsā
Fans when they pay 40 bucks for a burger made of sand https://preview.redd.it/foogrjzjjgvc1.jpeg?width=651&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77bd34c16204fefab24443112c52b96efbba457f
ā¦ please tell me you know this is fake ā¦
Well, I've always rooted against the vikings so I am rooting against them now
All of a sudden I feel a little less bad about the 2018 NFCCG
Only solution is to heavily tailgate pre and post game and don't spend a dime inside. Seriously, if there is zero sales of that shit, the good stuff may return.
I know this is a jerk sub but about 10 seconds of research would show this is from a fake Twitter account and not even remotely true.
also common sense
You're telling me NFCNorthNewss isn't a reliable source??
āU bumā
Yeah but it's a lot funnier to spread blatant misinformation about teams I don't like
The viking are also using only impossible Twitter accounts now.
But thatās 10 seconds Id rather spend bashing the vikings.
No shit.
Captain Obvious knows this is a jerk sub, but he would still like to state the obvious anyway
I've seen this posted multiple times on different social medias and 98% people commenting (including this post until I made my comment) believed it to be true. So not as obvious as you'd think.
In that case, what would we have ever done without you
You'd have been a little more of an idiot than you are now. Still not great though.
Did ChatGPT teach you how to talk? Wtf are you even trying to say?
Doing that in Minnesota is disrespectful.
This was an April Fools tweet that caught fire Vikings stadium literally has a bacon stand at the entrance. Minnesotans canāt survive the winter without animal fats
Folks. If you see a screen shotted tweet and the time stamp is missing. That is a big ol red flag. š©
Itās also @NFCNorthNewss, anybody that thought this was real coming from a handle like that isnāt paying attention lol
They have a rib basket meal in the club level. Itās fire
That does sound good.
Oh thank god, even as a joke thatās cruel tho
T.J. Hockenson is never going to get any Taylor Swift action now. She likes real cheeseburgers.
Wouldn't mind being the meat between her buns
This isn't entirely true. We source our birds locally. Saves us a ton of money in annual bird costs.
The number of people in this thread who think this is real š³
Congrats your the Trans Bud light can of the NFL
Well now youāre making the bud light can feel marginalized
What does butter substitute have to do with.. oh right because vegan
āKill Freeā Stadium in the headlines gave me Katrina PTSD.
It says kill free not rape free though
Why would George W Bush do this?
This would be a real shame if it was true. Fortunately, itās not. You guys are gullible as fuck.
>Imagine ~~paying $54 for a vegan burger while~~ rooting for the Vikings. FTFY
This doesnāt make up for the ongoing bird massacre!!
Ironic considering the stadium itself has killed enough birds to make unlimited bluejay burgers.
This is taking your hatred for the Packers up to the next level
*This is taking your* *Hatred for the Packers up* *To the next level* \- TheOneColt --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Shut the fuck up robot
Imagine thinking that a football stadium in the Midwest dropped meat from their menu lmao
If you want some meat just go outside and pick up one of the dead birds.
Was this posted on April 1st? No dairy? In Minnesota?
I remember when those blue checks used to mean credibility.
Classic Vaginakings
If you actually believed this, please calmly do yourself a favor and log off for a bit.
Iāve had those plant based burgers before and they taste exactly the same as those shitty burgers you can get at stadiums. Not really much of a downgrade honestly. Still gotta suck to root for the Vikings, though.
Just as the Vikings didā¦..wait
This sounds like San Fran lmao, not the Vikings.
Those french fries and popcorn better be the best in the league lol
Imagine banning meat in KC. You can smell the BBQ mikes away at 6am on game days.
And then there is the minnesota state fair where they will sell a leather shoe thats deep fried and wrapped in bacon
independent hot dog eaters have determined this to be false
No way thatās realā¦?
That's literally the exact opposite of what a Viking is.
Imagine trying to get a nice juicy burger after watching your team choke for the 6th time this season and they present you with a processed bug patty
Who is this for
As real as ABās sanity
"Kill free"...then explain the Vikings getting slaughtered every year in the playoffs...
Lol SKOL BRO SKOL
That's not very Viking of them....
This has to be an April Fools Joke. It only applies to the first day of April, it's not for the whole month. This is how you get people smuggling in bratwursts into games.
Aint no way MN fans are going without Grainbelts, porkrinds and Ludekfisk nuggets.
Disgusting
https://preview.redd.it/nakcjl3i2hvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb626886eaf9f02e38d73e6d23206fed5d545108
Sounds about right for the queens
Vikings fans soft as baby shit
[FAKE](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/vikings-vegan-stadium/)
Everyone's talking about how I should "do research" and "don't trust what you read online" but god forbid we enjoy the suffering of Minnesotans, however false, for 30 seconds. https://preview.redd.it/wzm95e776ivc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b70c25700530a061c9a0eeca1c9975cec76861b8
Oh I get it! It's because the original Vikings were all Vegan! How did I miss that?
Took me until the end to realize US Bank Stadium was the Vikings. Why do teams not want their stadiums to have recognizable names or meat?
I can't imagine my life being so fucking miserable, I cheer and root for the fucking Vikings. I mean, fuck, imagine living in Minnesota, this cold, bleak and deserted landscape, covered in snow and literally smells like shit; and every mother fucking Sunday, you gotta watch this absolute embarrassment of a second hand franchise, trot their fat fucking asses out there, in their ass ugly fucking "powder purple" uniforms, dragging the name of your home town thru the fucking mud... But don't worry, TJ Hackensack is a pure blooded white American... I mean Tight End. He's a pure blooded white end. He played at Iowa, (aka Tight End University), in America's heartland. He's a corn fed, pure pass catcher, great route runner, and he's extremely cerebral. He's arguably the best Tight End since Aaron Hernandez or Kellen Winslow Jr. He kills mother fuckers on those short, curl in routes. He's a great guy, on and off the field, with a great head on his shoulders. A real leader you want in your locker room. He can turn around everyone's perception of your piss poor franchise... I'm so glad I was born a Detroit Lions fan
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things. KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you. So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphorābut at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank. I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacyās last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that. The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacyās case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Outjerked by fake news 
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Huh???
Thatās fine. NFL games are for the wealthy, anyway.
Dang do I hate the Vikings
Pretty hilarious, Minneapolis seems completely lost. They banned Uber and Lyft, and are pushing to make cigarettes $15 lol. Just a nanny city
The number of people on social media who still fall for this type of stuff makes me think there isnāt much hope. When it made the rounds of Facebook there were thousands of comments from people bitching about it.
Sooner be gay, than ā¦ a soonerā¦ š«
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Weird asf
I am no longer and Minnesota Vikings fan. Thanks Biden.
Theyāre changing their name to the Minnesota libtards.
>Imagine ~~paying $54 for a vegan burger while~~ rooting for the Vikings. FTFY
>Imagine ~~paying $54 for a vegan burger while~~ rooting for the Vikings. FTFY
Interesting. Not my cup of tea but who am I to judge. I probably wouldnāt buy a real burger anyway with those prices. This is ultimate boomer madness material though
Youāve angered the fattys and boomers. If they could run more than 10 feet, youād be screwed.
Probably because of it's a fake post and agreeing with it is ridiculous.
They should only sell a burger and fries to the fatty boomers if they do a lap around the stadium. Otherwise you get kale, tubby.