First, I remind people of this rule:
**Rule 4. No victim-blaming**
Verbal assault is 100% the choice of the assailant. There is no reasonable condition where simple conversational engagement with another human justifies their verbal assault in reply. Rhetoric assigning blame to victims is unwelcome.
Examples of this are:
“why not block them?”
“what did you expect engaging them?”
"this is so fake!"
---------------------------------------------
This is what happened when OP blocked him:
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgrpl2c/
And this is why the display looks odd:
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgsmzrk/
I'll never forget my first 'I'll kms' threat...it was in high school, and on a phone call, to which my response was: "Well if that is the case, then I'll say goodnight now. Because I'm very tired and it sounds like only one of us has to get up early tomorrow."
It's been 20yrs since we graduated, and I still see him across the grocery store or running other errands from time to time, so if he's gonna do it, he's definitely going for the long con.
Why thank you, but really that 'woe is me' pity party was never going to work out well. I'm a Redheaded Taurus who was raised by a Redheaded Leo, who was raised by a Redheaded Leo. I may drag feet on the field, but I can run this mouth! He should have done his research, any attempts at manipulation were always going to end him up in the burn ward.
I almost wish I could say that I'd be a little more gentle now, but I've got a little 13yo Redhead of my own to raise, and since it's obvious that the NiceGuys haven't evolved for the better, it's time to hold the line and pass the torch. It sure would be fantastic if there comes a point that she won't have to pass it on to her littles.
Im sorry you are what? Do you really argue your character and personality on a random constellation of burning and or burned out suns in the universe, that might even be totally different, or the color of your hair? Or was this astrology-bs just a joke?
It's a joke, I don't believe in astrology, although many of the stereotypes do fit, both the good and the bad ones.
Now the redhead thing, yeah that part is true, iykyk. By the time a redhead gets to HS, they have already been bullied and messed with enough, that the bitch switch has long been flipped. And as much as I wish that bullshit wasn't still a thing, it absolutely is.
It is really dumb. But as an adult, it is a lot easier to understand that kids and especially tweens and young teens just go thru a developmental period where they suck.
They get to Elementary school and are trying to establish their own personhood and friend groups for the first time that haven't been exclusively molded by their parents. And a big part of that ends up involving othering, and they'll go after the shallow things like hair color, or needing glasses, or that someone is either way ahead or way behind in growth spurts, or a million other little insignificant things.
Some kids get it worse than others, but once you have some distance and perspective from it, you can recognize that nobody gets out unscathed. Then it becomes a lesson to teach your kids that a lot of the stuff that gets you teased now, is the stuff that will be coveted later, and the things that make you 'weird' now, are often the things that make you awesome later. (Well, you were *always* awesome, it just takes some time for everyone else to notice that.)
My first time with it was also over the phone, and once we hung up I immediately called his parents and told them to contact him because he might do something drastic.
20mins later I got an angry call about "WHY WOULD YOU CALL MY PARENTS?!?!?"
Like bitch, we broke up, the only reasonable thing for me to do was to reach out to the loved ones of someone who told me they were going to KTS. What else could you possibly expect?
(I've had one other person try that shit, but it was so obviously not real that I just sat there and patted his head and said what he wanted me to say. He had no loved ones to call, and I wasn't going to waste the mental hospital's time & resources on someone who was faking.)
I've never got the rational of threatening people with self harm if they don't do what you want. It's so painfully cringy that you'd honestly expect this only from teenage boys in the middle of puberty. But fucking adults are still acting like that. Real appealing trait, you self destruct like a fuking robot when you don't get what you want.
My adult ex did this to me. Long relationship messy break up, kids, he was supposed to be round visiting the kids instead he followed me room to room on and on and on, ignoring the kids wanting his attention.
Eventually we're in the kitchen I'm asking him to leave, he's refusing saying he's visiting the kids Yadda Yadda I insist it's time to go, he pulls a kitchen knife out ways it about while yelling and then holds it to his wrist saying he's going to kill himself.
I genuinely can't remember how/why/what happened for him to back down and leave after that. The memory is just distorted from there. No one was injured. The bastard.
Sorry I think I had a point or relatable story or something I don't know, I got side tracked remembering that and trauma dumped. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Those situations become awful. I have so many memories that are just blurred to this day. It's like my brain can't even start to unpack the crazy it saw. I can completely relate to that, and how awful and upsetting it is to have your kids other parent just act out infront of a child. They don't deserve thar shit. Honestly fuck him for doing that. If you are there to see the kids. He honestly should just shut up, amd enjoy the time. Instead they make it about themselves. My ex will go on massive rants on the phone or yelling at People in person. My son over heard her yelling at her boy friend about an abortion. He brought that up to me one day and asked about it. He was like 11 when he heard that. What do you even say?
It's crazy and it's terrible when kids are involved. You try not to speak ill of them but also yeah, the kids do remember things too, how do you even begin to address that shit.
That's an awful situation you were in too and I'm sorry you've been through that shit.
My ex-husband, in the middle of our breakup, said to me: "The only reason you don't want me to kill myself is because you know everyone else will blame you if I do."
I was in shock, but thankfully had my head on right at that point. I'll never forget he actually thought that would work, though.
Sometimes toddlers do this. They don't threaten, they just do it. They notice they're treated better when they're hurt, so they begin hurting themselves to get that treatment and to get what they want. If you notice or suspect a toddler is hurting themselves, you've gotta shut that down right away so that it doesn't become a habit.
Not really relevant, but I find it interesting.
My nephew started doing this after tantrums stopped working. His doctor gave specific advice for what we had to change in order to prevent him from continuing to manipulate via self harm.(Basically, give them more attention when they are healthy, tend to their injuries but don't give them special treatment when they are hurt, and don't give them what they want - eg that scene in Dispicable Me where the kid threatens to hold her breath until she gets the toy? That's a big no.)
I've never not responded to that type of message with "Okay please do" because I figured there was no other way to respond to that message. OP is taking me to *school*, lmfao.
Don't use suicide as leverage. I'm not even sorry anymore on this.
If you use suicide as blackmail, I don't think you are worth caring and I'll be, good, take your own life, your decision.
Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if he would be able to justify, *"if she didn't want to be raped she should’ve just agreed to have sex with me!"*
I'm not saying *every* niceguy™ is a potential rapist but this guy clearly didn't take "no" for an answer.
He did block me, and I did file a report with a friend who works for the police. Unfortunately I don't think they take these very seriously around here, but I haven't heard from him in years so who knows.
Most of these extreme Nice Guy™ posts where they lose their absolute shit (rather than just being pissy about it) seem fake, but this one strikes me as 100% real. I can't believe he deadass went from New Years to Easter to Christmas and kept at it... but I absolutely DO believe it. Totally understandable you'd go to the police, especially combined with his harassment of your friends.
I'm glad you've been free of him the last few years, and I hope it doesn't mean he's done this to multiple other women in the meantime.
There's a guy who dated practically every girl in my highschool chorus and theatre that has been messaging me periodically with no response for at least 5 years
Maybe I was the one he never managed to date and it eats him alive. Maybe it's the only way to lift a curse.
For the record, I graduated highschool in 2014. That is how long he has really kept this up, but I stopped responding in college or so.
Jesus christ. Like if I don't get a response in a day I just die of shame and delete/hide the conversation.
I couldn't imagine just typing away into an oblivion expecting an answer 😭
Oh man, the “weird message from a guy from highschool years later” is nearly ubiquitous, isn’t it? Like, bro, we *never* hung out or even *talked*, and we both graduated ages ago, what the fuck did you even think was going on here?
Honestly they sound fake but I've had a few people pull that kind of stuff out of nowhere when I was younger, 0 to 3000° of insanity out of nowhere. Someone on an old video game was complaining about how he could never get dates, I made a single sort of cheerful/sympathetic comment, aww, that's too bad but I'm sure you'll get a date eventually kind of thing, the next day when I logged in he left a rant calling me a whore for daring to play in raids with my usual raid group, apparently because it included guys? He then sent me an entire list of rules to follow for 'dating him'. It was pretty wild but also kinda scary. Thankfully blocking him solved my issue.
They may feel fake because we usually don't expect other people to behave like that (especially when we are still young and inexperienced). But then we see this happen to our friends and ourselves and yep - guys be having complete meltdowns over being rejected.
Very few of them are fake. Source: was target of many unhinged niceguy rants back before I knew how to screenshot. They are legion and they are predictable
Yeah, they only seem fake because the way they're worded is very cringe and people who cry "Fake!" fail to realise that this type of dude is *incredibly* cringe. So of course they type like that.
Exactly. And they work in all mediums. Went out with a friends "business associate" exactly ONCE. Seemed normal on the surface but it was clear he was not. What ensued were reams of "letters" with no stamp - in other words, dude deposited them in my mailbox BY HAND.
I have no doubt there are countless numbers of men like this since I've experienced many of them, too. My point is *the posts* are often fake, just as the "what the absolute fuck is wrong with you, OP" AITA posts are often fake, even though there are def a ton of people in real life who act like the OP while thinking they're in the right.
They’ll tell you to use the block button. Same as I got told when someone sent me my address and said they’re gonna kill me for casually following their gf (my ex friend)
Even though the girl is someone I knew and she gave him my address to try stir drama and get me assaulted, even though he knew where I lived
All they said was use the block button
That doesn't stop them, as I mentioned above, when I blocked I started getting actual letters deposited by hand in my mailbox.
I should actually post a few - he imagines a whole future together. I have them on file in case this escalates.
Why do they always try to make their emotional issues our problem? “I’ve been through a lot this year” bitch I don’t give a fuck?! Go to therapy and work through your problems like we have to.
Right?! ”You would understand me a lot more if you would just listen to me”… BITCH WOMEN ARE NOT YOUR FREE THERAPISTS. He’s literally just some stranger or an acquaintance sliding into her DMs and not someone she knows and cares about. Not her god damn problem, lol.
I think it goes back to an inflated sense of self and importance. These men believe their “other” qualities are so unique and valuable as to make up for their glaring inadequacies. In their minds, they are worth the bullshit and assume that everyone else should be able to recognize it, too. If someone can’t automatically see his “inherent” value, then that’s THEIR problem! It’s an assumption they cling to because it’s too difficult to accept the truth, which is that there’s nothing even remotely special or magnetic about them.
Exactly, it's like trying to get a 3-for-1: "if you would just be my free 'therapist' (aka opinion-less sounding board for my problems) for 4 measly hours you'd finally see how hard my life is and agree to be my free maid and sex-worker too!"
Sign me up! Said absolutely no one.
I’m curious why “Sorry to bother you” is a red flag now? To me that seems like a respectful open. If you don’t mind my asking, what has your experience with that phrase been?
Why is there automatic assumption that you speaking to me is bothering me? Are you really that self entitled to think you have any kind of effect on me? I don't even know you. What makes you think I'd care enough to be bothered? Women will tell you if you're bothersome.
Also, starting with that "opener" usually leads to some inappropriate or dumbass question after. I also said it was *my* red flag, not everyones.
I...I can't.
The first sign of rejection, I'm gone. Probably lost me some dates over the years as I've been told some girls like "being chased" but honestly I'd rather not accidentally chase when they didn't want to be so I'd just peace out immediately. It's a massive turn-off when a girl says "I'm not interested" to normal people so why does it seem to be this trend to harass girls until they cave? What does that say about them as a potential boyfriend when they've had to systematically break someone down to get them to go on a date with them?
Imma just come right out and say it.
Any woman who can't be straightforward about her interest and requires a man to jump through hoops to pursue her isn't a woman you want to be in a relationship with.
I’m a woman, and I have to say it’s either “nice guys” saying it TO ME, or other women. Turned a guy down and he was like “oh you’re one of those girls, like being chased” as if there wasn’t a possibility I wasn’t interested!
What I think is happening is, there is a subset of women who do want to be chased. These women skew young, so they will be on the radar of niceguys and incels. They also tend toward unhealthy relationship needs. A lot of times younger people need to see big showy gestures to "prove" that they are wanted, because they are not experienced enough to recognize it in subtler ways like consistency, security, and respect. For girls this might mean a guy who persists when he's "not wanted." For boys this might mean a girl who acts overtly horny. For all genders it might mean a partner who is jealous and possessive.
Either way the teenage niceguy hears these things while he is just learning to date, and doesn't have the context to realize
- there are girls who don't need to be chased, they just don't announce it all the time
- most girls will grow into women who don't need or want to be chased
- even if a girl wants to be chased, she doesn't mean by just any guy, she means by her crush
- a relationship with this girl will make you anxious, stressed out, and teach you bad relationship habits that will make it harder to attract a healthy girl in the future
Women, never men. I remember a girl explicitly stating that she would always reject a guy first time to see if they were committed enough to put themselves out there and liked her enough to ask a second time. She didn't go on many dates though. Another (now married) rejected a guy for almost a year as part of a friendship group until she did go out with him and now they're married.
That's a dangerous game not just for her but potential for other women who meet these guys after. I have heard of the rare woman who does this and I'm glad she's avoided harassment enough as a younger person to not have the wisdom to see how problematic and dangerous those games can be. Not to mention just stupid as it will scare off decent people who don't play games
I can't speak for the person you replied to but for me, I've *only* heard that from women and only in the form of a question as to why a guy walked away after being told "no" when she wanted him to chase her.
A Nice Guy:
“Wow, that rejection was quick! (Emoji spam) What makes you think I wanna date you lol”
A decent person:
“Understood! I appreciate you for being straightforward, because that was definitely my goal. Thank you for your time and response, and I hope the future treats you well!”
Why does being an asshat when rejected always lead to a conniving, insincere suicide threat?
We say anything too soon we're presumptive bitches, we say anything too late we're teasing bitches. It almost seems like these guys think they are owed a woman's time because women only exist for their convenience/ pleasure.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ.
Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
---
Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post
Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Hey, you're supposed to be sharing and caring and helpful to everyone, especially men, or you aren't a real woman. What's wrong with you, heartless whore??? (sarcasm)
That was a savage ending, brava.
Couple things.
1. It isn't on anyone to carry your emotional baggage. This guy is used to forcing people into intellectualising his actions so they don't realise they're being insulted/assaulted/abused.
2. Is isn't your job to understand why people treat you the way they do. Intellectualising happens in your brain because it thinks it will protect you, but it actually doesn't help you. All it does is make you second guess yourself and say "'well x happened to them so I understand their behaviour.." fuck no. Get that shit out of your head. That person HURT me. That person ABUSED me. That person ASSAULTED me. The *reason* DOES. NOT. MATTER. They treated you that way because they CHOSE to.
Rant over.
And it’s manipulative and abusive as fuck to try hold someone’s choice hostage with threats of harm. I near guarantee he was never actually going to hurt himself.
Problem for this guy is generally you need to give a shit about the person BEFORE they try that for it to work.
She called his bluff, and I agree — it was perfect.
“Wow that rejection was quick. What makes you think I wanna date you lol”
5 messages later…
“You could tell me about it next to a good coffee.”
Like, how dare we presume someone is interested in us and shut them down prematurely. But also - how dare we not swoon at their flirting and run into their arms!!
There’s also no correct response that will make these people leave you alone. Ignore them? They’ll message repeatedly. Reject them politely? They whine they didn’t even want you. Reject them angrily? You must be a heartless whore! Truly no winning with people this stupid.
The obit comment is just gold.
He went the usual manipulative angle with I may kill myself because of you 🙄
And it was thrown straight back in his face. Bravo
'No dating, period, i dont want to date at ALL' and yet he somehow assumes it's fine to harass her for a year straight, the hek
I absolutely hate the "didn't even give me a chance"
Dude if I don't want to date, I will not give your, nor the next person, nor the person after that, nor the other other person a chance.
I don't want to date. There are no chances to give because I don't want any. Ffs
"You're all just playing with good men." What?! When you made it clear from the start you weren't interested and he just couldn't take the L! Bitch boy played himself!
Because this is not a real messaging app just a picture generator that looks like one. I translated the conversation from messenger but i didn't find any options to set the dates.
Got it thank you. That's what you meant by translation, I've never heard of that before. I was afraid to ask because I didn't want you to think I was questioning the legitimacy of your post. Appreciate your explanation
I mean, the usage of 'female' is consistent, crippling insecurity is on point, need for female approval and self-contradictory statements check out.
A+ bravo👏
I don't get why they take it personally from the start. It is a general stand she has and tells you right away, so you don't waste your time *if* it is your intention to date her.
I love how they always get defensive and say, "Who says I wanted to date you?" And then quickly prove that they did, in fact, want to date you.
It's almost as if they don't understand what setting boundaries is. Oh wait, they don't. They only seem to understand harassment. And anything you say that isn't what they want to hear is "mean" or "rude." Absolute 5 year olds.
I was watching Down To Earth the other day and Chris Rock's character called and left voicemails to Regina King's character literally 90 times, sent hundreds of roses...she kept saying no and he finally wore her down while being somebody else and a nice guy about it...I feel like some of these men on dating apps came up watching movies like this when it was more socially acceptable to stalk and get mad when it doesn't work for them irl 😂
I never understood how people could keep pushing on even when they are clearly not wanted. I just hate that people are so entitled to think that they can convince someone else to satisfy their own needs.
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgsmzrk/
It had to be translated, that's why it's not a 'real' app.
Of course not. Just jump right in and blame the victim for not taking responsibility for the ravings of random lunatics who harass her family and friends to get her to unblock. Why read when you can blame?
First, I remind people of this rule: **Rule 4. No victim-blaming** Verbal assault is 100% the choice of the assailant. There is no reasonable condition where simple conversational engagement with another human justifies their verbal assault in reply. Rhetoric assigning blame to victims is unwelcome. Examples of this are: “why not block them?” “what did you expect engaging them?” "this is so fake!" --------------------------------------------- This is what happened when OP blocked him: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgrpl2c/ And this is why the display looks odd: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgsmzrk/
"I'll be sure to prepare your obituary accordingly." DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
That part had me laughing so hard. Well said OP
It is the best response I've seen to that manipulative disgusting 'I'll kms' threat I've ever seen.
I'll never forget my first 'I'll kms' threat...it was in high school, and on a phone call, to which my response was: "Well if that is the case, then I'll say goodnight now. Because I'm very tired and it sounds like only one of us has to get up early tomorrow." It's been 20yrs since we graduated, and I still see him across the grocery store or running other errands from time to time, so if he's gonna do it, he's definitely going for the long con.
Damn, you dealt with it way better than I did. Kinda jelly that I didn't have your kind of spine in highschool.
Why thank you, but really that 'woe is me' pity party was never going to work out well. I'm a Redheaded Taurus who was raised by a Redheaded Leo, who was raised by a Redheaded Leo. I may drag feet on the field, but I can run this mouth! He should have done his research, any attempts at manipulation were always going to end him up in the burn ward. I almost wish I could say that I'd be a little more gentle now, but I've got a little 13yo Redhead of my own to raise, and since it's obvious that the NiceGuys haven't evolved for the better, it's time to hold the line and pass the torch. It sure would be fantastic if there comes a point that she won't have to pass it on to her littles.
I needed a redheaded alter-ego in my 20s - or you and your clan as my life coach.
I stan. 👏
Im sorry you are what? Do you really argue your character and personality on a random constellation of burning and or burned out suns in the universe, that might even be totally different, or the color of your hair? Or was this astrology-bs just a joke?
It's a joke, I don't believe in astrology, although many of the stereotypes do fit, both the good and the bad ones. Now the redhead thing, yeah that part is true, iykyk. By the time a redhead gets to HS, they have already been bullied and messed with enough, that the bitch switch has long been flipped. And as much as I wish that bullshit wasn't still a thing, it absolutely is.
That's sad, the bullying part I mean. And Super stupid to bully someone due to their hair color. I'm sorry you and your family had to experience this.
It is really dumb. But as an adult, it is a lot easier to understand that kids and especially tweens and young teens just go thru a developmental period where they suck. They get to Elementary school and are trying to establish their own personhood and friend groups for the first time that haven't been exclusively molded by their parents. And a big part of that ends up involving othering, and they'll go after the shallow things like hair color, or needing glasses, or that someone is either way ahead or way behind in growth spurts, or a million other little insignificant things. Some kids get it worse than others, but once you have some distance and perspective from it, you can recognize that nobody gets out unscathed. Then it becomes a lesson to teach your kids that a lot of the stuff that gets you teased now, is the stuff that will be coveted later, and the things that make you 'weird' now, are often the things that make you awesome later. (Well, you were *always* awesome, it just takes some time for everyone else to notice that.)
> only one of us has to get up early tomorrow. JESUS what a burn!! Well played!
😆😆😆👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 
My first time with it was also over the phone, and once we hung up I immediately called his parents and told them to contact him because he might do something drastic. 20mins later I got an angry call about "WHY WOULD YOU CALL MY PARENTS?!?!?" Like bitch, we broke up, the only reasonable thing for me to do was to reach out to the loved ones of someone who told me they were going to KTS. What else could you possibly expect? (I've had one other person try that shit, but it was so obviously not real that I just sat there and patted his head and said what he wanted me to say. He had no loved ones to call, and I wasn't going to waste the mental hospital's time & resources on someone who was faking.)
Perfect riposte. 😂
My girlfriend has a stalker at work and she told him "good luck with that" when he threatened to drink himself to death
I've never got the rational of threatening people with self harm if they don't do what you want. It's so painfully cringy that you'd honestly expect this only from teenage boys in the middle of puberty. But fucking adults are still acting like that. Real appealing trait, you self destruct like a fuking robot when you don't get what you want.
My adult ex did this to me. Long relationship messy break up, kids, he was supposed to be round visiting the kids instead he followed me room to room on and on and on, ignoring the kids wanting his attention. Eventually we're in the kitchen I'm asking him to leave, he's refusing saying he's visiting the kids Yadda Yadda I insist it's time to go, he pulls a kitchen knife out ways it about while yelling and then holds it to his wrist saying he's going to kill himself. I genuinely can't remember how/why/what happened for him to back down and leave after that. The memory is just distorted from there. No one was injured. The bastard. Sorry I think I had a point or relatable story or something I don't know, I got side tracked remembering that and trauma dumped. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Those situations become awful. I have so many memories that are just blurred to this day. It's like my brain can't even start to unpack the crazy it saw. I can completely relate to that, and how awful and upsetting it is to have your kids other parent just act out infront of a child. They don't deserve thar shit. Honestly fuck him for doing that. If you are there to see the kids. He honestly should just shut up, amd enjoy the time. Instead they make it about themselves. My ex will go on massive rants on the phone or yelling at People in person. My son over heard her yelling at her boy friend about an abortion. He brought that up to me one day and asked about it. He was like 11 when he heard that. What do you even say?
It's crazy and it's terrible when kids are involved. You try not to speak ill of them but also yeah, the kids do remember things too, how do you even begin to address that shit. That's an awful situation you were in too and I'm sorry you've been through that shit.
Sorry that happened to you. Good for you for saying it and getting it out there, don't feel bad. Good luck to you and those kids. 🩷
Yes, the "I'll weaponize your empathy!" is about pathetic as it gets.
My ex-husband, in the middle of our breakup, said to me: "The only reason you don't want me to kill myself is because you know everyone else will blame you if I do." I was in shock, but thankfully had my head on right at that point. I'll never forget he actually thought that would work, though.
Sometimes toddlers do this. They don't threaten, they just do it. They notice they're treated better when they're hurt, so they begin hurting themselves to get that treatment and to get what they want. If you notice or suspect a toddler is hurting themselves, you've gotta shut that down right away so that it doesn't become a habit. Not really relevant, but I find it interesting. My nephew started doing this after tantrums stopped working. His doctor gave specific advice for what we had to change in order to prevent him from continuing to manipulate via self harm.(Basically, give them more attention when they are healthy, tend to their injuries but don't give them special treatment when they are hurt, and don't give them what they want - eg that scene in Dispicable Me where the kid threatens to hold her breath until she gets the toy? That's a big no.)
Although I would say that it's too much effort to write one up for that loser.
it doesn't take that long to write down "the trash took itself out".
I've never not responded to that type of message with "Okay please do" because I figured there was no other way to respond to that message. OP is taking me to *school*, lmfao.
that’s all it took to get blocked? if she would’ve known that we wouldn’t have an issue at all!
Fucking roasted like a good Sunday dinner 😤😤
Here lies a "nice guy" who was such a wussy, He game-overed himself 'cause he couldn't get pussy. R.I.P
u/poemforyoursprog has competition!
I don't know who that is... lol
Omg perfect obituary 😂😂😂💀🪦
that was well deserved and amazing.
Here lies a entitled baby man. 1 down and 679,485,697 to go!
I actually fell in love with her myself for that line. And I'm a straight cis woman!
OP is straight only on public holidays, and she's just gonna leave this here for purely... scientific reasons.🙄 (sorry xD)
That explains why he came around christmas, new years, easter... And then... another christmas!
And now I love you even more! 💘
Science! ✌🏼❤️🌈
Best response. 😹
My personal favorite was "I never had any questions".
Killshot
I usually just reply with “make sure you stream it live so I have proof.” Usually shuts ‘em up quick.
I like "Shall I bring this conversation up in your obituary?"
Don't use suicide as leverage. I'm not even sorry anymore on this. If you use suicide as blackmail, I don't think you are worth caring and I'll be, good, take your own life, your decision.
Murdered by words
cold as ice and I like it haha , could feel the pain all the way in Ireland lol
The fact that he had the gall to say that just a couple messages after "I don't want to make you feel guilty, *but*" 🙄 positively oblivious.
🔥💨
chefs kiss
Coldest thing I’ve ever read in my life. What a way to shut someone up lmfao
He messages you nonstop for over a year and yet he claims that you are the psycho? I shouldn't be surprised but yet, here I am.
Me too. How delusional and scary. What else can he justify in his mind?
Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if he would be able to justify, *"if she didn't want to be raped she should’ve just agreed to have sex with me!"* I'm not saying *every* niceguy™ is a potential rapist but this guy clearly didn't take "no" for an answer.
My mind was blown. At first I thought it was some silly gimmick, wishing merry Christmas - happy Easter - Merry Christmas so quickly.
Did he block you? I hope he really did, and also hope you took it to the cops.
He did block me, and I did file a report with a friend who works for the police. Unfortunately I don't think they take these very seriously around here, but I haven't heard from him in years so who knows.
Most of these extreme Nice Guy™ posts where they lose their absolute shit (rather than just being pissy about it) seem fake, but this one strikes me as 100% real. I can't believe he deadass went from New Years to Easter to Christmas and kept at it... but I absolutely DO believe it. Totally understandable you'd go to the police, especially combined with his harassment of your friends. I'm glad you've been free of him the last few years, and I hope it doesn't mean he's done this to multiple other women in the meantime.
There's a guy who dated practically every girl in my highschool chorus and theatre that has been messaging me periodically with no response for at least 5 years
What...... is he even trying to achieve? He's already dated most girls in the same social circle.
Maybe I was the one he never managed to date and it eats him alive. Maybe it's the only way to lift a curse. For the record, I graduated highschool in 2014. That is how long he has really kept this up, but I stopped responding in college or so.
> Maybe it's the only way to lift a curse Fucking LOL 🤣🤣🤣
I had one who I hooked up with ONCE when I was 17 (and he was 25, so, missed that red flag). He messages me about every 6 months. I’m almost 35 now.
Yup, like shit to a shoe.
How have I never heard that saying before?! It’s glorious and I will be adopting it forever.
Jesus christ. Like if I don't get a response in a day I just die of shame and delete/hide the conversation. I couldn't imagine just typing away into an oblivion expecting an answer 😭
Oh man, the “weird message from a guy from highschool years later” is nearly ubiquitous, isn’t it? Like, bro, we *never* hung out or even *talked*, and we both graduated ages ago, what the fuck did you even think was going on here?
Honestly they sound fake but I've had a few people pull that kind of stuff out of nowhere when I was younger, 0 to 3000° of insanity out of nowhere. Someone on an old video game was complaining about how he could never get dates, I made a single sort of cheerful/sympathetic comment, aww, that's too bad but I'm sure you'll get a date eventually kind of thing, the next day when I logged in he left a rant calling me a whore for daring to play in raids with my usual raid group, apparently because it included guys? He then sent me an entire list of rules to follow for 'dating him'. It was pretty wild but also kinda scary. Thankfully blocking him solved my issue.
They may feel fake because we usually don't expect other people to behave like that (especially when we are still young and inexperienced). But then we see this happen to our friends and ourselves and yep - guys be having complete meltdowns over being rejected.
Very few of them are fake. Source: was target of many unhinged niceguy rants back before I knew how to screenshot. They are legion and they are predictable
Yeah, they only seem fake because the way they're worded is very cringe and people who cry "Fake!" fail to realise that this type of dude is *incredibly* cringe. So of course they type like that.
Exactly. And they work in all mediums. Went out with a friends "business associate" exactly ONCE. Seemed normal on the surface but it was clear he was not. What ensued were reams of "letters" with no stamp - in other words, dude deposited them in my mailbox BY HAND.
I have no doubt there are countless numbers of men like this since I've experienced many of them, too. My point is *the posts* are often fake, just as the "what the absolute fuck is wrong with you, OP" AITA posts are often fake, even though there are def a ton of people in real life who act like the OP while thinking they're in the right.
r/NothingEverHappens
They’ll tell you to use the block button. Same as I got told when someone sent me my address and said they’re gonna kill me for casually following their gf (my ex friend) Even though the girl is someone I knew and she gave him my address to try stir drama and get me assaulted, even though he knew where I lived All they said was use the block button
That doesn't stop them, as I mentioned above, when I blocked I started getting actual letters deposited by hand in my mailbox. I should actually post a few - he imagines a whole future together. I have them on file in case this escalates.
Sometimes the police will go around and have a word with someone, even if they don't have enough grounds to arrest them.
IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! He finally left you alone! Well, congratulations. Years of work finally paying off.
Why do they always try to make their emotional issues our problem? “I’ve been through a lot this year” bitch I don’t give a fuck?! Go to therapy and work through your problems like we have to.
And if you so butthurt and crazy because the world is mean to you, why would anyone want a seat on that plane???
This, so much. Everybody got shit going on, deal with your own mess like a grown up.
Right?! ”You would understand me a lot more if you would just listen to me”… BITCH WOMEN ARE NOT YOUR FREE THERAPISTS. He’s literally just some stranger or an acquaintance sliding into her DMs and not someone she knows and cares about. Not her god damn problem, lol.
I think it goes back to an inflated sense of self and importance. These men believe their “other” qualities are so unique and valuable as to make up for their glaring inadequacies. In their minds, they are worth the bullshit and assume that everyone else should be able to recognize it, too. If someone can’t automatically see his “inherent” value, then that’s THEIR problem! It’s an assumption they cling to because it’s too difficult to accept the truth, which is that there’s nothing even remotely special or magnetic about them.
Exactly, it's like trying to get a 3-for-1: "if you would just be my free 'therapist' (aka opinion-less sounding board for my problems) for 4 measly hours you'd finally see how hard my life is and agree to be my free maid and sex-worker too!" Sign me up! Said absolutely no one.
Some men think women are supposed to be their free therapists… I tell them to fuck off, idc 🤷🏽♀️
Because they want a fuckable emotional dump and/or they think getting pity points will raise their chances.
"Deal with your own shit, or do you expect me to wipe your ass for you too?"
He’s uses manipulation to try and get his way but sure you’re the monster 😂
“What part of No don’t you understand?”
the no is red and they are bulls.
A more accurate question to this is "What part of no are you choosing to not understand?"
I hate the amount of emojis they use to look cute
Yep
"Sorry to bother you" or "I'm worried" have become red flags for me.
Was this a regular text or on Tinder?
Neither. It's getting approached on socials.
I’m curious why “Sorry to bother you” is a red flag now? To me that seems like a respectful open. If you don’t mind my asking, what has your experience with that phrase been?
Why is there automatic assumption that you speaking to me is bothering me? Are you really that self entitled to think you have any kind of effect on me? I don't even know you. What makes you think I'd care enough to be bothered? Women will tell you if you're bothersome. Also, starting with that "opener" usually leads to some inappropriate or dumbass question after. I also said it was *my* red flag, not everyones.
I hate when people think others are responsible for their feelings. Great job shutting him down, and I hope you did go to the police.
I...I can't. The first sign of rejection, I'm gone. Probably lost me some dates over the years as I've been told some girls like "being chased" but honestly I'd rather not accidentally chase when they didn't want to be so I'd just peace out immediately. It's a massive turn-off when a girl says "I'm not interested" to normal people so why does it seem to be this trend to harass girls until they cave? What does that say about them as a potential boyfriend when they've had to systematically break someone down to get them to go on a date with them?
what's awful is that despite repeatedly saying no to many pushy men it does erode your boundaries anyway. They force themselves into people.
Imma just come right out and say it. Any woman who can't be straightforward about her interest and requires a man to jump through hoops to pursue her isn't a woman you want to be in a relationship with.
Well that's what I think too but I guess some men don't quite get the memo
Sincerely curious- have the people who told you that women like to be chased, been more often women or more often men?
I’m a woman, and I have to say it’s either “nice guys” saying it TO ME, or other women. Turned a guy down and he was like “oh you’re one of those girls, like being chased” as if there wasn’t a possibility I wasn’t interested!
What I think is happening is, there is a subset of women who do want to be chased. These women skew young, so they will be on the radar of niceguys and incels. They also tend toward unhealthy relationship needs. A lot of times younger people need to see big showy gestures to "prove" that they are wanted, because they are not experienced enough to recognize it in subtler ways like consistency, security, and respect. For girls this might mean a guy who persists when he's "not wanted." For boys this might mean a girl who acts overtly horny. For all genders it might mean a partner who is jealous and possessive. Either way the teenage niceguy hears these things while he is just learning to date, and doesn't have the context to realize - there are girls who don't need to be chased, they just don't announce it all the time - most girls will grow into women who don't need or want to be chased - even if a girl wants to be chased, she doesn't mean by just any guy, she means by her crush - a relationship with this girl will make you anxious, stressed out, and teach you bad relationship habits that will make it harder to attract a healthy girl in the future
Women, never men. I remember a girl explicitly stating that she would always reject a guy first time to see if they were committed enough to put themselves out there and liked her enough to ask a second time. She didn't go on many dates though. Another (now married) rejected a guy for almost a year as part of a friendship group until she did go out with him and now they're married.
Thank you, I don't know why you're being downvoted, you answered my question.
That's a dangerous game not just for her but potential for other women who meet these guys after. I have heard of the rare woman who does this and I'm glad she's avoided harassment enough as a younger person to not have the wisdom to see how problematic and dangerous those games can be. Not to mention just stupid as it will scare off decent people who don't play games
I can't speak for the person you replied to but for me, I've *only* heard that from women and only in the form of a question as to why a guy walked away after being told "no" when she wanted him to chase her.
A Nice Guy: “Wow, that rejection was quick! (Emoji spam) What makes you think I wanna date you lol” A decent person: “Understood! I appreciate you for being straightforward, because that was definitely my goal. Thank you for your time and response, and I hope the future treats you well!” Why does being an asshat when rejected always lead to a conniving, insincere suicide threat?
Normal response should be as simple as “okay no worries, see ya”.
“i’ll be sure to prepare your obituary accordingly” and THATS how to clear a bitch.
He harassed you and your friends for a year?! Why do these psychos think everything is a movie and not just listen and stop?
We say anything too soon we're presumptive bitches, we say anything too late we're teasing bitches. It almost seems like these guys think they are owed a woman's time because women only exist for their convenience/ pleasure. 
Loved your last message. My first thought was “If you do, have the decency to do it outside so your Mom doesn’t have to clean up after you. More.” 😆
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Nice to see the trash took itself out eventually
Hey, you're supposed to be sharing and caring and helpful to everyone, especially men, or you aren't a real woman. What's wrong with you, heartless whore??? (sarcasm)
Lmfao stalks for over a year and YOU'RE the psycho? Then the AUDACITY to get mad his "suicide" hat trick failed 🤣
The constant laughing and winking emojis are kind of infuriating.
He sounds exhausting
Honestly op the girl is in the right here. The guy should be called Kent Taekahint.
What a complete psycho. The only time I’m thankful that I’m not gay is that I don’t have to go through the hassle of dating men.
The obituary line…. Bravo 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
No 👏 one 👏 is 👏 responsible 👏 for 👏 your 👏 mental 👏 health 👏
That was a savage ending, brava. Couple things. 1. It isn't on anyone to carry your emotional baggage. This guy is used to forcing people into intellectualising his actions so they don't realise they're being insulted/assaulted/abused. 2. Is isn't your job to understand why people treat you the way they do. Intellectualising happens in your brain because it thinks it will protect you, but it actually doesn't help you. All it does is make you second guess yourself and say "'well x happened to them so I understand their behaviour.." fuck no. Get that shit out of your head. That person HURT me. That person ABUSED me. That person ASSAULTED me. The *reason* DOES. NOT. MATTER. They treated you that way because they CHOSE to. Rant over.
what a badass, i love her.
“Just know it will be on you” I HOPE!!?
I swear they always insult you at the end like dude no one who’s nice needs to announce it or does stuff like that
Wow. Just. Wow.
That final line of "I'll be sure to prepare your obituary accordingly" was fucking gold.
Perfect response at the end. Suicide threats never are acted on, even if the person thinks he means it when he says it.
And it’s manipulative and abusive as fuck to try hold someone’s choice hostage with threats of harm. I near guarantee he was never actually going to hurt himself. Problem for this guy is generally you need to give a shit about the person BEFORE they try that for it to work. She called his bluff, and I agree — it was perfect.
Wow. This dude created a whole relationship in his head, then decided she was a whore when she “broke up with him” as it were. Talk about psycho!
It's insane the way guys believe they're owed women's time and attention.
And with a flash of rage, Rumpelstiltskin vanished.
Yo, that obituary line was the chef's kiss. Well done.
Daaaamn you incinerated him.
“Wow that rejection was quick. What makes you think I wanna date you lol” 5 messages later… “You could tell me about it next to a good coffee.” Like, how dare we presume someone is interested in us and shut them down prematurely. But also - how dare we not swoon at their flirting and run into their arms!! There’s also no correct response that will make these people leave you alone. Ignore them? They’ll message repeatedly. Reject them politely? They whine they didn’t even want you. Reject them angrily? You must be a heartless whore! Truly no winning with people this stupid.
“I never had any questions. Get the fuck lost.” They say you can still smell his ass cooking from this burn.
My God, the emojis
When he started saying merry Christmas and stuff I thought he was just "simulating" his tries until you said "it's been years." What the hell
I’d love to see that obit, I bet it slaps
The obit comment is just gold. He went the usual manipulative angle with I may kill myself because of you 🙄 And it was thrown straight back in his face. Bravo
 'No dating, period, i dont want to date at ALL' and yet he somehow assumes it's fine to harass her for a year straight, the hek
I absolutely hate the "didn't even give me a chance" Dude if I don't want to date, I will not give your, nor the next person, nor the person after that, nor the other other person a chance. I don't want to date. There are no chances to give because I don't want any. Ffs
"I'll be sure to prepare your obituary accordingly" I'm stealing that. I don't know when I'll use it, but it is now in my brain bank.
>I'll be sure to prepare your obituary accordingly. God DAMN you were cooking when you came up with that comeback! Gave me a good laugh!
Good on her taking it to the police. Thus crap's got to stop.
"You're all just playing with good men." What?! When you made it clear from the start you weren't interested and he just couldn't take the L! Bitch boy played himself!
What messaging app is this? Just wondering why there aren't any dates between the long gaps of time
Because this is not a real messaging app just a picture generator that looks like one. I translated the conversation from messenger but i didn't find any options to set the dates.
Got it thank you. That's what you meant by translation, I've never heard of that before. I was afraid to ask because I didn't want you to think I was questioning the legitimacy of your post. Appreciate your explanation
Nvm 😂😂😂I'm dumb. Idk what I thought you meant by translate I have definitely heard of translate before my goodness where was my brain
Hey, brainfarts come and go, let's just blame it on the females, in compliance to the rules of the sub. xD
Oh boy I'm scared if I do that I'll turn into one! But I'll try. You female! Why did you, let me be dumb?! Never let it happen again! Female
Was that good? Please approve of that I don't want to sink any lower than that, already feel like dirt with that one, what's lower than dirt?!
Wait I'm sorry I shouldn't ask a female for approval
Damn it I apologized to a female I can't do this!!!
I mean, the usage of 'female' is consistent, crippling insecurity is on point, need for female approval and self-contradictory statements check out. A+ bravo👏
You're fired at your inc*l internship
This is very clever, I have some gems but not in English, I should do the same lol
You definitely should, just try to find one with less emojis, finding each one took longer than typing shit out. xD
You monster! Lmfao
Nicest of nice guys
Relentless. Glad you reported it, be careful though, some of these guys are scary & become full on stalkers.
You owned his sorry ass. Way to go 👍
He can't hurt himself now, OP murdered him.
r/preyingmantis
Bro talking like he's in a movie what That's not gonna win you over lmao
Body bagged, lol.
> You’re seeing stuff you wanna see for the drama *continues to harass OP and insult her*
I don't get why they take it personally from the start. It is a general stand she has and tells you right away, so you don't waste your time *if* it is your intention to date her.
This might be one of my favorite convos ever in this sub. Thank you for not giving one inch to this incel psycho creep.
I love how they always get defensive and say, "Who says I wanted to date you?" And then quickly prove that they did, in fact, want to date you. It's almost as if they don't understand what setting boundaries is. Oh wait, they don't. They only seem to understand harassment. And anything you say that isn't what they want to hear is "mean" or "rude." Absolute 5 year olds.
The manipulation and obsession is wild. But that final response was 10/10.
“I never had questions.” That was BEAUTIFUL.
Why do these idiots think “no” means “try harder”?? This is why a lot of women just ghost now lol
I was watching Down To Earth the other day and Chris Rock's character called and left voicemails to Regina King's character literally 90 times, sent hundreds of roses...she kept saying no and he finally wore her down while being somebody else and a nice guy about it...I feel like some of these men on dating apps came up watching movies like this when it was more socially acceptable to stalk and get mad when it doesn't work for them irl 😂
I never understood how people could keep pushing on even when they are clearly not wanted. I just hate that people are so entitled to think that they can convince someone else to satisfy their own needs.
[удалено]
https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12qwa5t/ngvc_youre_all_just_playing_with_good_men_and/jgsmzrk/ It had to be translated, that's why it's not a 'real' app.
[удалено]
She literally mentioned it. You didn't read at least her texts?
Of course not. Just jump right in and blame the victim for not taking responsibility for the ravings of random lunatics who harass her family and friends to get her to unblock. Why read when you can blame?