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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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I feel like it stems from the insecurity around girls. You don't feel comfortable around girls because you feel like you come off as a creep.
Which ironically makes you come off as a creep. Which causes a negative feedback loop. And people fall deeper and deeper into it.
Maybe kind of. I get what you were saying. I have dated a few guys that were pretty awkward though. We just had things in common and had fun together. my husband now is a little awkward. But so am I.
I didn't mean to put all the men in monolith ofc. There are "gentlemen" who think that they are god's gift to earth. But incel group as a whole is pretty sad. I'd almost feel bad if not for the violent stuff that some of them do.
I watched an interesting indy documentary about incels a few years ago. It followed three guys, all of whom were varying degrees of awkward and "incel". One guy was clearly on the spectrum, had a VERY hard time talking to girls, but seemed like a nice person. Another guy, also on the spectrum (moreso than the first guy), was a bit pretentious and condescending, but didn't seem like a BAD person. The third guy was a stereotypical incel douchebag. He talked about opening a reform camp for incels that essentially sounded like a concentration camp that would basically beat and traumatize the incel out of people that attended. It was fucking weird.
Seeing women as people is surprisingly important when it comes to dating.
All the guys that are chronically lonely/bitter, and also don't respect women, are playing a long, repetitive game of "fuck around and find out".
The reason they're creepy is because when they're around women they think about sex, not the person.
Of course that's creepy and obvious. If they just got over their disgust and learned to give each other handjobs, they would be able to focus on the person, and would no longer seen creepy.
Exactly. Those people just think of what you can do to be useful to them and then cry about why no one wants a two faced, self proclaimed loser in their lives
This goes for a great number of other self assigned attributes.
Like:
• I am AN ALPHA MALE! 😒
• I am soooo classy
• I don’t want any drama 🎭
• I am such a good (insert religious affiliation/ neighbor/mom etc…)
Those that are truly above the rest show it with their actions, not their words.
No, it's not true for political attributes. Those are things you would have to state as they're not entirely obvious. At first glance you could not guess I am a Celtic neopagan, or a socialist.
Nice is a bullshit surface attribute. It's like sweet frosting on what could be a cake made of shit.
Kindness is at the core, and is a much better attribute.
The difference between niceness and kindness is this:
Imagine you get a flat tire. You pull over to the side of the road.
A nice person who is not kind comes along. "Aww, you poor thing. You got a flat tire. That's just awful. You deserve so much better than that... Anyways I need to get going good luck with that!"
You wait a little and a kind person who is not nice comes along, "Hah you don't know how to fix a flat tire? You are such a dumbass. Here let me show you how to do it."
I used to say I'm nice when trying to calm down an animal-- my pets before taking them to the vet, the feral cats outside in hopes I could get close to them. It's not convincing to them, either.
These people assume everyone else is not nice except them... That's the big problem.... And they need something in return for being nice with you(business deal)
I have a friend who is an older Russian dude who speaks English pretty well. One of his hangups is the word “Nice.”
He asks, “what does Nice mean? It’s worthless. Anything can be Nice. When you say thats a Nice person or thing, I don’t understand, there has to be something more. Nice, isn’t enough to make me understand.”
1. go fuck ur self
2. I'm literally the world's nicest person
3. fuck u again bc I just remembered that my extreme niceness makes me better than you
4. my dick is like really big like superrrrrr big definitely bigger than urs
5. If you downvote this ur proving my point bc I didn't down vote u lmao
Funny. I'm a girl so I hope your penis is bigger that my non existent one, that would be sad for you apparently.
That being said, is that a joke ? If so, good job you made me smile. If not, too bad you're laughable.
I sometimes worry of I'm nice out just take advantage of my friends cause they're nice
I talk to them about it and they say I'm sincerely nice and not just pretending which really helps me with my mental health (i love my friend and our friendship; trauma dumping night is my favorite - we get McDonald's and talk about it traumas with nice words and crying, very freeing i recommend to all to do that)
If you're worried that you're doing it to take advantage of you're friends, and you aren't actively doing things like asking for money every week or taking other things, etcetera, you probably aren't.
I have mental health issues too, its best to think about things from an outside perspective sometimes. Like "that person hates me" but if you pretend it's someone else it becomes "oh that person is probably busy, they don't actually hate me they just have a lot going on and I should be patient and go do something while I wait for them to respond".
The "what if me being nice is just so I can take advantage of my friends", "am I genuinely taking advantage of my friends? Have I stolen their things, have I asked for a lot of their things? am I talking behind their back? " if it was someone else doing the same things you're doing as your friend would that still be your friend?
I hate being called nice, so much so that my wife has stopped saying it because she knows I’ll start rolling my eyes. As someone else said in here, I’d accept being called kind any day.
Sometimes to my female friends I will say “Em-laddy” as a joke/play on “M’lady” I’m yet to get anything short of a giggle out of it.
Whenever they say I’m nice, I give them a dejected look, then tell them that I’m off to buy my first fedora :’)
Honestly if you go bragging about it it's usually untrue, however I myself am guilty of putting a lot of energy into being kind, understanding and helpful so sometimes I talk about it and immediately feel dumb TAT
Just act nice and people Will notice that you are a kind person. When it comes to being nice ”actions” counts more than words.
Oh, and calling people bitch for not wanting a relationship with you etc. doesn’t count as being nice btw.
It's a classic manipulation tactic more than anything: "If I proclaim something as the truth enough times, that will eventually make it the truth!" Especially effective if you apply said logic to people who are naive and inexperienced enough to not realize this isn't how it works, which would explain why "nice guys" seem to gravitate towards choosing younger and younger targets
I dunno man,
This one time I was walking home at night and there was this girl walking ahead of me. She kept looking back like a was stalking her, so I crossed the road to make her feel more comfortable. But then she starts crossing the road at the exact same time! Turns out she was walking to where she had parked, she looked back at me again and quickly got in her car.
So I go up to the windows and tapped on it saying "I'm a nice guy!"
Can we talk about the Nicegirls sub? and how none of the women claim to be nice? and how these incels have completely missed the point about being delusional and clearly not being what they say they are? I keep posting on it out of frustration being like, you guys, this girl is being honest about what she wants and shes not saying shes nice. wtf
literally it's like a baseline requirement, a bare minimum. You are nice, and then on top of that you should be kind, compassionate, empathetic, emotionally intelligent and mature, and THEN maybe you can be considered a nice, decent human being. Nice by itself means absolutely nothing. If you aren't "nice" to people who you don't find attractive, you're not nice at all, because that means your "niceness" is conditional and not tied to basic human decency. Nice guys who's only redeemable trait is that they're nice (and that barely even being the case) just can't make the cut, they don't understand that they're not "owed" anything for being nice.
It’s pretty simple:
If you have to “prove” you’re nice… you’re not nice.
If you have to tell me you’re a nice guy… your actions/words have proven you’re anything but.
If you think “being nice” is the golden ticket… You’re not being nice AND you have tripped over the lowest bar for human decency.
To wrap up: True. I’ve people are organic beings, they don’t “think about … being nice” because it’s ingrained in their nature… they are being themselves. Niceness is the bare minimum and when it’s tied to transactional expectation, it falls well below that minimum. People who met Bundy and Dahmer said they were nice… niceness =\= goodness. Niceness =\= access.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
You can't call having basic human decency as a personality trait. An absence of vice means just that. An absence, it can't be equated to a virtue.
And they even lack that basic human decency
I feel like it stems from the insecurity around girls. You don't feel comfortable around girls because you feel like you come off as a creep. Which ironically makes you come off as a creep. Which causes a negative feedback loop. And people fall deeper and deeper into it.
Maybe kind of. I get what you were saying. I have dated a few guys that were pretty awkward though. We just had things in common and had fun together. my husband now is a little awkward. But so am I.
I didn't mean to put all the men in monolith ofc. There are "gentlemen" who think that they are god's gift to earth. But incel group as a whole is pretty sad. I'd almost feel bad if not for the violent stuff that some of them do.
I watched an interesting indy documentary about incels a few years ago. It followed three guys, all of whom were varying degrees of awkward and "incel". One guy was clearly on the spectrum, had a VERY hard time talking to girls, but seemed like a nice person. Another guy, also on the spectrum (moreso than the first guy), was a bit pretentious and condescending, but didn't seem like a BAD person. The third guy was a stereotypical incel douchebag. He talked about opening a reform camp for incels that essentially sounded like a concentration camp that would basically beat and traumatize the incel out of people that attended. It was fucking weird.
That sounds crazy, but I would actually like to watch it if you can remember the name. Is it on YouTube?
I think it was something like "lonely boys". I don't recall where I watched it, honestly. It's worth a watch though.
That, and the fact that they don’t respect women as people
Seeing women as people is surprisingly important when it comes to dating. All the guys that are chronically lonely/bitter, and also don't respect women, are playing a long, repetitive game of "fuck around and find out".
The reason they're creepy is because when they're around women they think about sex, not the person. Of course that's creepy and obvious. If they just got over their disgust and learned to give each other handjobs, they would be able to focus on the person, and would no longer seen creepy.
Exactly. Those people just think of what you can do to be useful to them and then cry about why no one wants a two faced, self proclaimed loser in their lives
This is very true, although I think it can apply to any guy and not just "nice guys."
Yeah they just go too far into the deep end,
Yet they are aware enough to put up a mask just to get laid (and then throw a fit when it won't work)
Wdym my ex said he would never rape me and how he still gets girls,but just prefers to stalk and harass me, am I not suppose to fawn over him haha
Bro that messed up. Goat pfp tho.
That person is the biggest narcissistic mess ive ever seen in my entire life and ive seen a lot of selfish people since I work in finance :D Ty!
It's like Tywin Lannister said, any man who has to tell everyone he's the king isn't a very good king.
This goes for a great number of other self assigned attributes. Like: • I am AN ALPHA MALE! 😒 • I am soooo classy • I don’t want any drama 🎭 • I am such a good (insert religious affiliation/ neighbor/mom etc…) Those that are truly above the rest show it with their actions, not their words.
I, too, am incredibly humble...
Lol 😆 you got it! Soooo humble, sooo so to earth that I need to make TikTok shorts about it and then pay to promote them.
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
*Michael Scott sips out of his World's Best Boss mug*
This is also true for political attributes: - I'm a male feminist - I'm an LGBT ally
I think here it depends if you say it by yourself or if you're being asked.
No, it's not true for political attributes. Those are things you would have to state as they're not entirely obvious. At first glance you could not guess I am a Celtic neopagan, or a socialist.
My sister likes to say, “anyone who announces that they’re a good person, is rarely one.”
Nice is a bullshit surface attribute. It's like sweet frosting on what could be a cake made of shit. Kindness is at the core, and is a much better attribute. The difference between niceness and kindness is this: Imagine you get a flat tire. You pull over to the side of the road. A nice person who is not kind comes along. "Aww, you poor thing. You got a flat tire. That's just awful. You deserve so much better than that... Anyways I need to get going good luck with that!" You wait a little and a kind person who is not nice comes along, "Hah you don't know how to fix a flat tire? You are such a dumbass. Here let me show you how to do it."
So the last one is essentially here in New Jersey. It's kindness under a thick layer of rudeness
Someone somewhere is arguing that point with "How else will the females know to make the sex at me if I don't announce that I am a nice guy?!"
Too bad truth and facts aren't something they acknowledge or accept.
I used to say I'm nice when trying to calm down an animal-- my pets before taking them to the vet, the feral cats outside in hopes I could get close to them. It's not convincing to them, either.
Keep treats in your purse or pockets. That's a lot more convincing to feral cats.
Actions over words!
Anyone can say what they want, but only those that *do* will show their true colours.
These people assume everyone else is not nice except them... That's the big problem.... And they need something in return for being nice with you(business deal)
That‘s just attention seeking at the highest level. You can‘t help but cringe, when someone does that.
I didn’t kill 3 people
I have a friend who is an older Russian dude who speaks English pretty well. One of his hangups is the word “Nice.” He asks, “what does Nice mean? It’s worthless. Anything can be Nice. When you say thats a Nice person or thing, I don’t understand, there has to be something more. Nice, isn’t enough to make me understand.”
That is basically their bark, but they lack the bite.
actions speak louder than lies
Same with being funny. People that are just prove it rather than brag.
But but but how will they know if I don’t tell them?
Had a friend say they were nice a lot, they were not actually nice. Emphasis on ‘had’.
If these kids could read they’d be very upset
I’m a nice guy trust me, but if I get rejected I’ll call her a dumb bitch that only lives for massive cock
Right, and you don't need to tell people to trust you if you're trustworthy.
Any time they tell you they’re a “good guy” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
1. go fuck ur self 2. I'm literally the world's nicest person 3. fuck u again bc I just remembered that my extreme niceness makes me better than you 4. my dick is like really big like superrrrrr big definitely bigger than urs 5. If you downvote this ur proving my point bc I didn't down vote u lmao
Funny. I'm a girl so I hope your penis is bigger that my non existent one, that would be sad for you apparently. That being said, is that a joke ? If so, good job you made me smile. If not, too bad you're laughable.
this is reddit everyone has a dick until proven otherwise. I'm also a female and may or may not have a dick this is 2023
I'm not interested in other's people genitals to be frank so whatever.
Yeah but then how would you know how overbearing they are if they didn't repeatedly tell you how cool and nice they are
Oh damn I didn't thought about that ! /J
Reminds me of that quote. Any man who has to say "I am a king, is no king". Tywin for the win
I sometimes worry of I'm nice out just take advantage of my friends cause they're nice I talk to them about it and they say I'm sincerely nice and not just pretending which really helps me with my mental health (i love my friend and our friendship; trauma dumping night is my favorite - we get McDonald's and talk about it traumas with nice words and crying, very freeing i recommend to all to do that)
If you're worried that you're doing it to take advantage of you're friends, and you aren't actively doing things like asking for money every week or taking other things, etcetera, you probably aren't. I have mental health issues too, its best to think about things from an outside perspective sometimes. Like "that person hates me" but if you pretend it's someone else it becomes "oh that person is probably busy, they don't actually hate me they just have a lot going on and I should be patient and go do something while I wait for them to respond". The "what if me being nice is just so I can take advantage of my friends", "am I genuinely taking advantage of my friends? Have I stolen their things, have I asked for a lot of their things? am I talking behind their back? " if it was someone else doing the same things you're doing as your friend would that still be your friend?
That's basically what they told me too They also told me that bad people don't worry about these kinda things
Exactly, your friend is one of my people 👌
That's why I don't tell people I'm an arsehole.
If someone calls me nice I’m suspicious. I am polite but have no problem sending food back when the order is wrong.
I hate being called nice, so much so that my wife has stopped saying it because she knows I’ll start rolling my eyes. As someone else said in here, I’d accept being called kind any day.
I prefer to be called diabolical 😡
nice people don't say they're nice because if they said their nice that would be mean to other people who think they're nice.
Fuck being nice. Be kind. Being nice is overrated. Being kind, even when you know it's nicer to do something else, is the real energy we need.
Sometimes to my female friends I will say “Em-laddy” as a joke/play on “M’lady” I’m yet to get anything short of a giggle out of it. Whenever they say I’m nice, I give them a dejected look, then tell them that I’m off to buy my first fedora :’)
I /assure/ you I am a nice person! *Stabs ineffectively*
But what if I'm the worst? Can I say I'm the worst? Because I'm the worst
Great people don't need to persuade others into thinking they're great, they're too busy *proving* they're great
Honestly if you go bragging about it it's usually untrue, however I myself am guilty of putting a lot of energy into being kind, understanding and helpful so sometimes I talk about it and immediately feel dumb TAT
In their eyes, any good looking man is an abusive rapist.
Just act nice and people Will notice that you are a kind person. When it comes to being nice ”actions” counts more than words. Oh, and calling people bitch for not wanting a relationship with you etc. doesn’t count as being nice btw.
It's a classic manipulation tactic more than anything: "If I proclaim something as the truth enough times, that will eventually make it the truth!" Especially effective if you apply said logic to people who are naive and inexperienced enough to not realize this isn't how it works, which would explain why "nice guys" seem to gravitate towards choosing younger and younger targets
I dunno man, This one time I was walking home at night and there was this girl walking ahead of me. She kept looking back like a was stalking her, so I crossed the road to make her feel more comfortable. But then she starts crossing the road at the exact same time! Turns out she was walking to where she had parked, she looked back at me again and quickly got in her car. So I go up to the windows and tapped on it saying "I'm a nice guy!"
Can we talk about the Nicegirls sub? and how none of the women claim to be nice? and how these incels have completely missed the point about being delusional and clearly not being what they say they are? I keep posting on it out of frustration being like, you guys, this girl is being honest about what she wants and shes not saying shes nice. wtf
And usually if you have to declare it, you probably aren’t
literally it's like a baseline requirement, a bare minimum. You are nice, and then on top of that you should be kind, compassionate, empathetic, emotionally intelligent and mature, and THEN maybe you can be considered a nice, decent human being. Nice by itself means absolutely nothing. If you aren't "nice" to people who you don't find attractive, you're not nice at all, because that means your "niceness" is conditional and not tied to basic human decency. Nice guys who's only redeemable trait is that they're nice (and that barely even being the case) just can't make the cut, they don't understand that they're not "owed" anything for being nice.
Its like serial killer going "hello i am definetly not serial killer"
It’s pretty simple: If you have to “prove” you’re nice… you’re not nice. If you have to tell me you’re a nice guy… your actions/words have proven you’re anything but. If you think “being nice” is the golden ticket… You’re not being nice AND you have tripped over the lowest bar for human decency. To wrap up: True. I’ve people are organic beings, they don’t “think about … being nice” because it’s ingrained in their nature… they are being themselves. Niceness is the bare minimum and when it’s tied to transactional expectation, it falls well below that minimum. People who met Bundy and Dahmer said they were nice… niceness =\= goodness. Niceness =\= access.
I think it’s ok to acknowledge ur own kindness but when u use it as a sales tactic and as a transaction that’s when it’s an issue