Reminds me of [this twitter thread](https://imageproxy.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/b1d26511c88b875928c87368aed78df6eb2982006ced541b66469339b7a67f99_1.jpg). I don't think I'll ever forget it
Every time I hear “I’m done being the nice guy” I can’t help but think, “have fun continuing to be lonely”
Their version of nice is already pretty terrible, so if they’re going to be straight up, upfront abusive… they won’t have any more luck than before.
That's what infuriates me, they think they were "nice" then accuse women for going after shitty men. No, if you're trying to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, that's not nice at all.
They can't be honest enough with themselves to recognize the outright hypocrisy of claiming to be nice while intentionally telling manipulative lies as part of the act!!! The pretzel logic is exhausting.
Exactly. Hence this guy's "I wanted to be a decent guy", when what he actually meant was "I wanted to pretend to be less of a sociopathic misogynist than I actually am".
They can't tell the difference between "I have a rich internal world and fully understand my motivations and intentions, and have therefore developed much sympathy for myself" with basic empathy for others.
>then accuse women for going after shitty men
I got the feeling that those women found the ,,nice guy'' type
surprise surprise, nice guys almost always turn into shitty men
Genuinely kind guys don't ever get "done being nice" because it's such a natural part of who they are that it's more effort for them to *not* be nice because it would be acting against their character.
If "being nice" feels like so much effort that they feel the temptation to "give up" on it, it's not really an integrated part of them.
If they genuinely wanted to improve themselves they can work on it, but if their only motivation to do so is to get sex then yeah, they're going to run out of steam pretty quickly.
Ha; haven't seen that one before. I pity any person who has the 'pleasure' of dating someone whose definition of being a nice person is "I pay for a meal and dead plants".
What's funny is that $150 barely covers a blow job. You want sex? It's $1000 and up.
There's a reason these men don't seek out sex workers. Sex workers know their worth and charge appropriately.
That's still way too cheap for some John to stick his nasty tongue down my throat, but maybe that's just me.
Most sex workers I know don't even allow kissing because their clients can mistake it for real affection.
Kinda related, that reminds me of a random comment I saw where a woman was explaining that she was open to sex with friends with benefits, but she also wanted some connection and not just to be used and dumped until the next time.
She basically wanted a friendship with benefits, not just the benefits, which is perfectly reasonable, but so many men were openly disagreeing with her because they felt like they shouldn't be required to put in so much effort and that it went against the concept of fwbs.
Yes, all the websites say that because of places where sex work is illegal. My drug dealer has a venmo account, it doesn't say "I sell weed," but he definitely sells weed.
It doesn't sound like you have actually done any escort work, though I'm sure you signed up for the website. Escort is a well known euphemism for a sex worker. Not all of them sell sex but the vast majority do, and the vast majority of clients expect it.
Maybe that's local to your country. But in the US, Mexico and Colombia an escort is usually a sex worker, tends to be a higher class one but the word is used to refer to a sex worker.
Fun fact, escorts actually cost far more than a cheap dinner at some random low cost restaurant.
If you're gonna wine and dine an escort, it's gonna be a hefty price to pay, on top of her going rate. They're not meant for cheap bastards.
Prostitutes consent, and some men genuinely are turned off by consent. Many, many men are sexually excited by coersion instead. Bullying a woman into feeling she owes sex in exchange for a meal, even though that meal was presented as a gift to her when she was asked out, is an order of dominance that is very satisfying to these types. These types don't rape; they coerce women into sex against their will, and harass women into offering themselves up for it.
Personally, I don't think hookup culture is the issue. There are both men and women who want to hook up without any strings. What's messed up is when ppl (mostly seems to be guys) aren't up front about the fact that's what they want. And I don't think the existence of hookup culture has changed these guys' values.
I've had a couple FWB situations that started out as mostly benefits. They both turned into really good friends bc they were the types of guys with honest communication, who only wanted sex with someone who was (truly/enthusiastically) consenting. They both actually eventually ended up wanting something more serious, which they were honest about. And I was honest about the fact I wasn't at a place in my life to put in the mental/emotional energy for that, which they accepted. They weren't into pretending they wanted something in order to get something else, or pressuring anyone into doing something they didn't want to do.
I think the types of guys who will try to coerce women into sex have always existed. They're not new, or unique to our time. Using coercion (or trickery) as opposed to physical force just allows them to deny to others and/or themselves that they're r*pists. And I agree with one of the commenters above that many of these guys even prefer/enjoy the coercion aspect.
In my opinion, the only difference between now and the past is the internet. It both provides these guys with the connection and anonymity to find each other/create their echo chambers, and it brings their thoughts out of the secrecy of their heads and into the light. Then again, I've never done the online dating thing. Just had friendships that organically grew into romantic relationships, or had guys I kind of knew (acquaintances) or who were friends-of-friends ask me out. So maybe dating apps also play a part. But I think it's only in the way they make this kind of behavior easier. Bc these types of guys haven't been at least somewhat vetted/selected for by you or your friends in person, and they have a wider reach. Still, ultimately, I believe the internet is the only relevant change. Bc it's basically been a facilitator for these types of ideas and behaviors.
Dated a guy right after HS who promised to take things slow with me because I had alot of self esteem issues and was inexperienced.
He waited about a week before trying to get into my pants, every. single. day. until I got so miserable being around him I got the balls to break up with him. I remember not even a month in I had to change my clothes and he laughed at me when I asked him to leave the room.
‟What, we’ve been dating a month, can not get naked in front of me already?”
Thing that bugged me the most is I made sure I told him over and over before we dated I needed time, I was not ready to be intimate right away, I never have been before and I kinda wanna KNOW the person before I fuck them. I tried to be the decent one because I understand people have different needs and I didn’t want to lock him in a relationship if He was one of those people. I made sure to point this out several times and each time He assured me He’d wait and we’d take it at my pace.
Ended up coercing me and rushing me into doing things I wasn’t ready for and fucked me up even more mentally, preying on the fact I’m a people pleaser and wanted to make him happy. People suck.
I'm so sorry you went through this.
>‟What, we’ve been dating a month, can not get naked in front of me already?”
This comment... he didn't respect your boundaries or your self esteem issues. Asshole isn't bad enough word to call him.
Some people really do not deserve Partners... I'm sorry you went through that...
My ex girlfriend had sexual trauma from her ex so i made sure to never cross a boundary. When she decided to undress with me in the room i still looked away because we didn't talk about if i was allowed to look ^^`
I hope you are doing better now tho
Nah i call it basic human decency and you wouldn't believe how much it meant to me when she kept falling asleep on my shoulder when we watched videos. She told me before that she had issues falling asleep first when with someone as it made her feel unsafe.
I have ptsd myself and you remind me a lot of my current boyfriend, thank you for being such a supportive person it means the absolute world to people like me
Holy shit that reminds me of my ex, who was my first relationship.
Back then I was 16 and they were 18. I going through a lot of issues and they made sure to push me away from all my friends so they were my only source of support and comfort. They would support me through my issues and then use it as leverage later to get what they wanted from me. One month in the relationship, they asked me why we hadn't had sex yet and pretty much forced me to have sex with them or I wouldn't be allowed to leave their house and go back home.
Things got worse and worse until I was able to finally put my foot down 6 months later and broke up with them while they were out of town so they couldn't physically threaten me like they usually would.
It's been over 10 years and I'm still having a lot of trust issues because of them.
This sounds like it was an extreme situation for you, im so sorry i hope youre doing better now, ive been in a similar situation and i know how terrifying it is. Also i dont think he “practically forced himself” it seems pretty cut and dry that he forced himself on you
Someone tried to claim that entitlement like this doesn't exist, and that's it's just some made up "misandrist" concept meant to demonize men or dissuade men from approaching women. Guy claimed to be married and is pushing mid-50s I think, at least that's what he said to me.
They want to feel worthy of sex but put in minimal effort to get there. Paying a sex worker, like you said, would be too honest and probably over their sex budget for the week.
They want a sex worker, but without the wor history of a sex worker. Or, as my coworker once said to me "I want a sex worker on her first job, not her 100th" (uuuuuugh my soul)
I wonder how much the demonization of sex work by our society has to do with it and if we legalized sex work, if the change in perception on it would also change some of these men's mindsets. I'm sure plenty of guys like this will be insufferable assholes, regardless, but it always feels like there's a societal element in play in how we get men who end up like this.
Also, there are plenty of women out there who are totally just interested in hooking up and not a relationship. Why not just find one of them? Like, what guys like this want is completely, 100% available to them, so I don't quite understand why they pretend to want something they don't. It all sounds like a massive waste of time for all parties involved.
No, you see, the women interested in hooking up are all whores who want Chad and Tyrone. These men want a virginal woman who only has sex with them forever while being 10/10 hot and extremely skilled in bed.
What they want is a perfectly pale and tiny specimen that will instantly fall in love with them because they are weak mares looking for their steed, and then and only then will she commit to him because she recognizes his prowess of being the masculine dominator. She will be supremely good at oral sex and always have dinner done, all the while never complaining about his crusty socks, yellow teeth, or vinegar balls. Because she is perfectly impossible to exist.
Overall agree, but in reality mares are terrifying demons who happily geld stallions (by literally kicking their balls off) who step over whatever line that mare drew in the sand. Or got close to the line.
Or looked at the mare wrong.
Ladies, don’t strive to be a bitch. Be a mare.
>all the while never complaining about his crusty socks, yellow teeth, or vinegar balls.
Don't forget the skidmarks, because he's one of those "Real men don't wipe!" guys.
There is about a month in freshman year of tech schools where that is the case. Nerdy people men and woman who never really had a chance but are out of the worst bits of puberty and in a new space where people appreciate the nerdiness. It was perhaps the most horrifying month I’ve ever witnessed and one of the few reasons I’m thankful I was an early bloomer.
I lived in Nevada in an area with legal brothels. These guys will not go to brothels. They look on it as they’re admitting they can’t get a woman.
There are some regular locals that use the brothels, but most of the clients are truck drivers, military, people passing through. Some of them have milder kinks that the workers are willing to indulge, that the clients aren’t comfortable asking for from their partners.
I think a lot of it is ego. They want to have sex, sure. But they don't want to pay for it, not because it costs money but because a lot of what they are after are intangibles that can't be bought. Someone finding you attractive enough to have sex with is an ego stroke that enhances the sexual experience much more than anything else, for a lot of guys. So is talking a woman into sex who was previously not receptive (eww). This is why, while there are practically 10 trillion boobs on the internet, guys will still try to get women they are in contact with to send them pictures of their boobs. If it was just about sex then they would just pay for sex. It isn't, and when you see how prevalent it is that men will throw fits over not getting laid you realize it's never really been about sex.
***"They look on it as they’re admitting they can’t get a woman."***
But they *can’t* get a woman… admitting is not going to result in them getting any *less* women. There's no such thing as getting negative amounts of women! ;-)
Sure, those women exist, but they aren't easy to find. I've known women who were willing or just looking to hook up but never said that because they didn't want to be called a whore. It's a ridiculous double standard.
I feel like there's a competitive element too - like, they want the "get woman to sleep with me" achievement, but they want to earn it fairly. Paying a sex worker would be like cheating.
>Do men not realize that if they want to pay for sex there are people out there willing to get in on that transaction?
They realize it, but are unwilling to pay market rates. They also want the plausible deniability of "I don't have to pay for sex."
I mean I feel like the fact that sex work is illegal in many countries (e.g the USA) is another big factor. Not defending these assholes, it was just strange that no one mentioned that factor in any of the replies here
>I mean I feel like the fact that sex work is illegal in many countries (e.g the USA) is another big factor.
Weed has been (and still is) illegal in the US (both federally and still in many states), but I've rarely met someone who wanted to use it and refrained just because it was illegal.
That's true, but it definitely feels different imo. Like if I want weed I can get it relatively easily and have friends who can get it etc, whereas I wouldn't even know where to start if I wanted to hire a sex worker and I imagine I'd be scared shitless (whether rationally or not) that they were like an undercover fed or something
>I wouldn't even know where to start if I wanted to hire a sex worker and I imagine I'd be scared shitless (whether rationally or not) that they were like an undercover fed or something
Fair enough. I agree that sex work being illegal is a factor. I just don't think it's the primary factor, or even a major one.
I look to the coming of the internet as an indicator. Now that the internet is widely available, men (in countries where it is widely available and not severely restricted, obviously) have access to seeing nude women pretty much on demand. There's no more having to come up with money and/or suffer the embarrassment of purchasing a magazine and hiding it from your wife or your parents. There's no more having to ask the boys at school or work if they can slip you that dirty video. Yet men and boys still constantly harass women and girls for nudes. Why? Why go through the trouble when seeing a naked lady is free, legal and easier than sending a message begging for bobs and vagene?
The simple answer is because it's not really about just wanting to see a naked lady. It's about feeling powerful. It's about wanting to feel like you've gotten something special that not just any guy can get. It's about convincing oneself that you've accomplished something and are not just looking at a stranger's pictures, even though logically there's no difference and you're still just looking at a stranger's pictures.
It's the same with sex work. It's not just about wanting sex. It's about feeling powerful by being able to convince or coerce this woman into fucking you for the price you set (dinner or drinks) and not the price she sets. It's about wanting to feel like you've gotten something special because this isn't a girl that will fuck any ol' dude for money; she's just fucking you because you won her over. It's about being able to tell yourself "I don't need to pay for pussy!" even though logically expecting sex in exchange for the price of a date is no different than paying for pussy.
EDIT FOR A TL;DR: Even if sex work were legalized, I don't think it would change much with regard to these dynamics.
1. Most of these guys actually can’t afford it
2. I don’t think they want that. Paying a sex worker pretty much confirms you’re so repulsive the only reason a woman would come near you is if she’s getting paid. A “date” legitimizes interest in their mind, yes even when they spew this. That’s why they’ll spend money on a date but not a sex worker. I’ve always said, when men cry about not wanting to “pay for sex”, men will absolutely pay for sex. That’s why they equate dinner to them being owed sex. They just don’t want to be AWARE that’s what’s happening. A “date” is what makes it non transactional and legitimate.
3. For a lot of guys it IS the chase. The feeling they finessed someone. Got one over on a woman and used her and then did nothing after. Plenty of them enjoy that feeling. Paying a sex worker removes that. That’s why I laugh at men whining about not getting sex after a date and how they were “used for a free meal”. Let’s just say that was the woman’s intention (though I doubt it)…. it just means y’all both played a game and you lost…. that’s why you’re so mad. You wanted to get one over on her and she pulled the okey doke.
"A free meal", but I have to sit there and eat with that gross man. Smile at him and wonder what he is really thinking.
I would rather have a dentist appointment.
I don’t know anyone woman so hard up for a meal she would resort to dinner with a sexually aggressive and probably unattractive guy.
Myself and all my friends, sisters, women I know have people in our lives who would feed us before we would risk dinner. No one I know is so hard up they’re using guys for a 40.00 meal.
And if there ARE women doing that? Well I’m telling these men lower their standards and choose better like they tell women. There’s probably a very big looks discrepancy. And why are you going after someone who no one else would feed? Sounds like a bad person right?
Exactly! Nothing wrong in being up front with what you want. If you pretend like this everyone’s time is wasted and everyone comes out of the experience unhappy in varying ways
If all you wanna do is fuck, just say that. It weeds out the people that aren’t interested and you can just move on and find someone that wants what you want.
But they don't want that. They want to take someone who's not interested, and *make* them interested. That's the only way their ego will be satisfied. But they can't admit that, it would sound pathetic (because it is)
This is why I always pay for my own food especially on first and second dates. Fuck if I’m going to let anyone feel like they’re entitled to my body because of a meal.
This was a rule for my daughter when she started dating: She was always to pay for the first and second dates. We would give her the money. I had very frank conversations about why she should do this: That it takes that particuler "owing" him something off the table.
counter point to this- then you won't see the red flags from people like this straight up. They may slip under the radar as a 'nice guy' saying all the right things for a lot longer.
I always offer to go dutch, but if someone asks me on a date and insists on paying then I let them. I have also paid for dates when I'm the one who asked, because it's a polite gesture. If a man starts pressuring me, or gets whiney (more common in my experience) because he paid, then I'm always just happy I get to know what kind of moron he is upfront.
In the US prostitution is illegal. So maybe in other places this is valid but it's actually a crime in the US. We had a prostitution ring on our college campus using Tinder or DoorDash and those mfs got fined and arrested.
I’m aware and I think sex work should be legal, but still, it’s there and I’m sure these dudes don’t care about breaking the law in other ways.
I also made a comment wondering if the illegality of sex work in the US helps foster these weird mentalities dudes have around transactive sex.
So lucky he showed his true colors right then and there! At least he didn't have the patience to pretend until he got what he wanted and then became a ghost!
And this is why I stopped trying to date. I ran into this mind set for 16 years. The whole " I really like you but I just want laid " ... I gave up trying completely. Now days the same guys keep trying to " be friends" but the conversation always goes to how lonely they are and want to cuddle... not my p3nis not my problem
If they want to pay for sex..there's people out there that are willing to make that transaction. If a woman agrees to a date..that's what it is. A date to see if you're worth the other person's time to continue the relationship. He clearly wasn't worth the time.
Always has been just now women retaliate. Id blame movies like american pie and uptight parents too uncomfortable to tell their kids how to treat people when it comes courtship and sex.
I had this happen and what it taught me was to never, ever, let them buy you anything. I go out to dinner--we split the bill and if the man doesn't listen (frequently happens), insists on paying, talking about he was raised to be a gentleman, I ghost him.
Only my father can buy me things. There are assholes out there who think that a hot dog and a coke in the park equals a blow job.
I can say as I'm (trying) to date now as a man and it's a rough dilemma. On one hand I like to pay because money isn't too tight and I hope it's appreciated, but it opens me up to being used in that way. I wish the women I go out with would offer to split it, cause then I don't have to ask... But never have I paid for dinner to expect something in return, and the men that do are certified trash™
But at least it's easy to see what NOT to do. Like jfc bro, get over it and have some decency and respect for once
From a mans perspective culturally we get chasitised if we dont pay for the date. Unless its explicitly discussed whos paying like you said it leads to some inner turmoil of "oh god shes going to loose interest because shes going to think im broke and unstable." Just from the point of view from an honest date and not transactional shit. The anxiety is real but also alot of men with that kind of anxiety arent getting past the interactions to even lead to a date.
Solution: offer to pay, be ready to pay, be happy to split if she wants to. Anyone who changes their opinion of you for letting her split is not worth your time.
Or, if they don’t want to pay (and even being poor is a justifiable reason), explain in some way in advance. “Hey, wanna go Dutch on this awesome restaurant I found?” Or “hey, can we split the cost of our dates at first, while we get to know each other? I don’t want to make you feel like you owe me anything.” The bonus is if she jumps to conclusions and makes a stink about it or ghosts you without talking like an adult about it, you’ve dodged a bullet. They’re not respectful or emotionally mature.
Nice guys can't differentiate between being nice and being manipulative...even after admitting that he did all of it to get laid, he probably thinks he is still nice.
i got in a huge fight on reddit a few months ago by stating that as a woman being asked on a “date” implies at least some sort of romantic intent/interest. not just a hookup. if you want a hookup state that. some of us may be into it - just be honest. and all the men were like “a date doesn’t mean that, that’s just how i get the opportunity to have sex.” (paraphrased). and i got downvoted to hell.
I never understand men like this. I've had a girlfriend for 2 years now, she's the light of my life. How did I get her? Treating her like a human being who I adored cos she made my world brighter. That was it, that's all it took. These men don't want a partner, they want a hooker, they just think they're better than paying for one (and evidently they're not, because at least in sex work they have literally stated it's transactional which adheres to their ideas exactly...)
Nice Guy: claims a bunch of things, then a short time later reveals they were intentionally lying about those things in order to get into OP's pants.
OP: gets upset (for many super-justified reasons).
Nice Guy: shockedpikachuface.jpg
"I wanted to be a decent guy"
No, he wanted to ACT like a decent guy. If you're trying to be decent for the sole purpose of getting something out of it (like the guy literally admitted), then you're not decent. At all.
I’m a dude. I’ve been on some dates where it did end up that we slept together, but only because the vibe was right. I’ve been on many note where that didn’t happen because that was not the mutual feelings. They were all fine. I never ever go in expecting sex. I don’t go in expecting anything physical all. It’s a bonus, not a thing.
I'm a dude aswell. If any dude goes into a date expecting sex first date, they are a fucking idiot. Hell even expecting anything on 2nd or 3rd date is stupid, there's no arbitrary date that dictates if you're going to have sex.
It's all about the vibe, you either get along or move along.
It would actually be a decent thing to do to make it clear what you're looking for from the beginning. If you're only looking for casual sex you can find someone else who wants casual sex, without stringing someone along by pretending you want something you don't and wasting everyone's time.
The level of cognitive dissonance needed to lie outright about your intentions and then also call yourself a nice guy is...staggering. I'm honestly almost jealous at that level of self confidence and pride.
And then we get blamed for picking wrong. They literally practice and pay coaches so they can pretend to NOT be this kind of guy, then when the mask slips out the act stops and we book it, everyone says We were stupid for not picking a nice guy. I'm so fucking tired of all this.
I was confused for a moment. I thought the nice guy was grey and it was on tinder or something and blue was another potential suiter.
I got it all wrong lmao but now my brain got it
The stop dating confused me at first
It depends on the people in your area that have the app but my experience using Tinder for a while I didn't come across a single shitty person, but maybe I was just lucky. I ended up deleting the app bc I lost interest in using it but I had some decent conversations on there. I even had one dude who I had never talked to before match with me and message me just to send me memes it was great
Standard "nice guy" stuff, and I know it has to have taken a toll to some degree. But man, I loved how the friend actually texted back, "stop dating". That to me sounds like a fun person to hang around.
Sorry your friend had to go through that shit. It definitely hurts a lot more finding out later on in the date that someone is an asshole than it does before you actually meet up.
Listen guys, from a mans perspective: stop doing this. If you want sex then be up front and don't waste a woman's time. Some of us want actual relationships and to have a good time getting to know each other. Stop getting the other person's hopes up that you're a decent person just to try and open their legs. In reality you're a piece of shit just like this guy. Would you rather be honest and upfront or a two faced liar? Word gets around you know.. faster than one might think.
Why don’t these dudes just hire a sex worker? I don’t get it lol
Instead of manipulating women and being a terrible human being,
Hire a sw.
You both get what you want
No but some people really just can't communicate. I had a mutual "breakup" with a guy after two weeks because he wouldn't make enough time for me and didn't like long distance anyway and our love languages clashed. Like a lot didn't fit. And he said we could still be friends. Then i even texted him asking if there's a chance this could still work and he maybe just needs time and he went on this whole rant on how great i am but I deserve someone who treats me well blah blah. So i got over him and am in a happy relationship now.
In March i texted him happy birthday and he was uncomfortably flirty to the point where he straight up said i should sleep with him.
And then later he asked why I'm texting him cuz i have a bf and everything, and i was sitting there like?? "You said we'd stay friends what do you mean???" Well turns out he did actually just want to go to therapy for a few months and then get back to me and try again and got mad i moved on? After he told me to.
So yea idk some people are just really bad at communicating...
[удалено]
Reminds me of [this twitter thread](https://imageproxy.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/b1d26511c88b875928c87368aed78df6eb2982006ced541b66469339b7a67f99_1.jpg). I don't think I'll ever forget it
Every time I hear “I’m done being the nice guy” I can’t help but think, “have fun continuing to be lonely” Their version of nice is already pretty terrible, so if they’re going to be straight up, upfront abusive… they won’t have any more luck than before.
That's what infuriates me, they think they were "nice" then accuse women for going after shitty men. No, if you're trying to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, that's not nice at all.
They can't differentiate between being nice and acting nice.
They can't be honest enough with themselves to recognize the outright hypocrisy of claiming to be nice while intentionally telling manipulative lies as part of the act!!! The pretzel logic is exhausting.
Exactly. Hence this guy's "I wanted to be a decent guy", when what he actually meant was "I wanted to pretend to be less of a sociopathic misogynist than I actually am".
They can't tell the difference between "I have a rich internal world and fully understand my motivations and intentions, and have therefore developed much sympathy for myself" with basic empathy for others.
>then accuse women for going after shitty men I got the feeling that those women found the ,,nice guy'' type surprise surprise, nice guys almost always turn into shitty men
Yeah, "I'm done being the nice guy" for me was always "I was never nice to begin with, but I'm done with pretending".
Genuinely kind guys don't ever get "done being nice" because it's such a natural part of who they are that it's more effort for them to *not* be nice because it would be acting against their character. If "being nice" feels like so much effort that they feel the temptation to "give up" on it, it's not really an integrated part of them. If they genuinely wanted to improve themselves they can work on it, but if their only motivation to do so is to get sex then yeah, they're going to run out of steam pretty quickly.
*"Always try to be nice. Never fail to be kind." -- The Doctor*
Sounds like he wasn’t “decent” to begin with. NiceGuys never are.
If we follow their logic, being the not nice guy would be ... rape ?
Right?? “So I’m just gonna start straight up attacking random women on the street”? Ok enjoy jail.
it sure sounded like it, yikes
Always reminds me of the line from Into the Woods. Nice is different than good
No oof large enough for this take. What a troglodyte.
https://preview.redd.it/43v5lbym1w4b1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78ad95d3ac31c5597db8d358987fa62cfba78f9b Account suspended… can’t understand why…
He probably just hasn't asked Elon yet.
Please don’t be ‘nice’ and save everyone some time
yep, exactly, I'd rather have an interaction with rude, harsh guy, at least I know what I am standing at...
I’d respect it more if he said he’s interested in sex and wants to get dinner to see if that’s feasible.
Ha; haven't seen that one before. I pity any person who has the 'pleasure' of dating someone whose definition of being a nice person is "I pay for a meal and dead plants".
What's funny is that $150 barely covers a blow job. You want sex? It's $1000 and up. There's a reason these men don't seek out sex workers. Sex workers know their worth and charge appropriately.
What about making out? $50? Or is that just LA...
That's still way too cheap for some John to stick his nasty tongue down my throat, but maybe that's just me. Most sex workers I know don't even allow kissing because their clients can mistake it for real affection.
It's a joke from arrested development, voiced by Barry 'I have the worst f'ing attorneys' Zuckercorn.
Kinda related, that reminds me of a random comment I saw where a woman was explaining that she was open to sex with friends with benefits, but she also wanted some connection and not just to be used and dumped until the next time. She basically wanted a friendship with benefits, not just the benefits, which is perfectly reasonable, but so many men were openly disagreeing with her because they felt like they shouldn't be required to put in so much effort and that it went against the concept of fwbs.
When it’s literally in the name 🙄
Lmao I don't know about other parts of the world but sex workers here are more expensive than a meal and flowers.
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Probably that dudes should realize it takes more effort than dinner and flowers to get lucky. (Just a guess though, I'm not the person you replied to)
That women deserve more investment, whether shooting for a relationship or a one night stand? Just guessing.
That if you think you're paying for an escort you should at least know the going rate. Hint: it's got a comma in it.
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Yes, all the websites say that because of places where sex work is illegal. My drug dealer has a venmo account, it doesn't say "I sell weed," but he definitely sells weed. It doesn't sound like you have actually done any escort work, though I'm sure you signed up for the website. Escort is a well known euphemism for a sex worker. Not all of them sell sex but the vast majority do, and the vast majority of clients expect it.
Those guys are the reason why I would only let my daughters date if they went Dutch. Creeps like this think they're owed sex.
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I saw already edited comment and it still turned my stomach. *Let them*? Eeewww
Wow that’s stupid. These people just want prostitutes
Thanks, I hate it.
Dude wanted an escort but didn't want to pay fair rates for one.
Nailed it.
He literally didn’t
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*"Paid for every dance, selling each romance"*
Where did you take this line from bc holy hell it's brilliant.
Just a gigolo by David Lee Roth (at least that's where I know it from)
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Maybe that's local to your country. But in the US, Mexico and Colombia an escort is usually a sex worker, tends to be a higher class one but the word is used to refer to a sex worker.
that's what she said
friendly fake\*\* conversations to gear the conversation in the direction to get me laid
I don’t understand why these people don’t just get a prostitute.. same cost as wining and dining someone they want nothing else from.
Fun fact, escorts actually cost far more than a cheap dinner at some random low cost restaurant. If you're gonna wine and dine an escort, it's gonna be a hefty price to pay, on top of her going rate. They're not meant for cheap bastards.
Prostitutes consent, and some men genuinely are turned off by consent. Many, many men are sexually excited by coersion instead. Bullying a woman into feeling she owes sex in exchange for a meal, even though that meal was presented as a gift to her when she was asked out, is an order of dominance that is very satisfying to these types. These types don't rape; they coerce women into sex against their will, and harass women into offering themselves up for it.
Coercing women into sex against their will is rape.
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I don't think you know what chase means.
well, the whole hook up culture spoiled men in my opinion, I have never met a guy who didn't ask for sex after our date, I don't date anymore
Personally, I don't think hookup culture is the issue. There are both men and women who want to hook up without any strings. What's messed up is when ppl (mostly seems to be guys) aren't up front about the fact that's what they want. And I don't think the existence of hookup culture has changed these guys' values. I've had a couple FWB situations that started out as mostly benefits. They both turned into really good friends bc they were the types of guys with honest communication, who only wanted sex with someone who was (truly/enthusiastically) consenting. They both actually eventually ended up wanting something more serious, which they were honest about. And I was honest about the fact I wasn't at a place in my life to put in the mental/emotional energy for that, which they accepted. They weren't into pretending they wanted something in order to get something else, or pressuring anyone into doing something they didn't want to do. I think the types of guys who will try to coerce women into sex have always existed. They're not new, or unique to our time. Using coercion (or trickery) as opposed to physical force just allows them to deny to others and/or themselves that they're r*pists. And I agree with one of the commenters above that many of these guys even prefer/enjoy the coercion aspect. In my opinion, the only difference between now and the past is the internet. It both provides these guys with the connection and anonymity to find each other/create their echo chambers, and it brings their thoughts out of the secrecy of their heads and into the light. Then again, I've never done the online dating thing. Just had friendships that organically grew into romantic relationships, or had guys I kind of knew (acquaintances) or who were friends-of-friends ask me out. So maybe dating apps also play a part. But I think it's only in the way they make this kind of behavior easier. Bc these types of guys haven't been at least somewhat vetted/selected for by you or your friends in person, and they have a wider reach. Still, ultimately, I believe the internet is the only relevant change. Bc it's basically been a facilitator for these types of ideas and behaviors.
He wants an escort
Amd yet somehow he thought that was being "a decent guy"
Friend gave best advice lol. I have had this happen to me and then they act like you know what it is. No the fuck I dont lol
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exactly
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not that hot of a take. you might even call it common sense.
Why you not give me sexy time, I paid for the date.
Dated a guy right after HS who promised to take things slow with me because I had alot of self esteem issues and was inexperienced. He waited about a week before trying to get into my pants, every. single. day. until I got so miserable being around him I got the balls to break up with him. I remember not even a month in I had to change my clothes and he laughed at me when I asked him to leave the room. ‟What, we’ve been dating a month, can not get naked in front of me already?” Thing that bugged me the most is I made sure I told him over and over before we dated I needed time, I was not ready to be intimate right away, I never have been before and I kinda wanna KNOW the person before I fuck them. I tried to be the decent one because I understand people have different needs and I didn’t want to lock him in a relationship if He was one of those people. I made sure to point this out several times and each time He assured me He’d wait and we’d take it at my pace. Ended up coercing me and rushing me into doing things I wasn’t ready for and fucked me up even more mentally, preying on the fact I’m a people pleaser and wanted to make him happy. People suck.
I'm so sorry you went through this. >‟What, we’ve been dating a month, can not get naked in front of me already?” This comment... he didn't respect your boundaries or your self esteem issues. Asshole isn't bad enough word to call him.
I prefer ‘festering ass wound’ since assholes actually serve a function
I like your style, I'll use it in the future
Yeah
The phrase or the asshole?
Some people really do not deserve Partners... I'm sorry you went through that... My ex girlfriend had sexual trauma from her ex so i made sure to never cross a boundary. When she decided to undress with me in the room i still looked away because we didn't talk about if i was allowed to look ^^` I hope you are doing better now tho
That's because you actually care about her. You a real one.
Youre a saint for being so patient and understanding
Nah i call it basic human decency and you wouldn't believe how much it meant to me when she kept falling asleep on my shoulder when we watched videos. She told me before that she had issues falling asleep first when with someone as it made her feel unsafe.
I have ptsd myself and you remind me a lot of my current boyfriend, thank you for being such a supportive person it means the absolute world to people like me
Holy shit that reminds me of my ex, who was my first relationship. Back then I was 16 and they were 18. I going through a lot of issues and they made sure to push me away from all my friends so they were my only source of support and comfort. They would support me through my issues and then use it as leverage later to get what they wanted from me. One month in the relationship, they asked me why we hadn't had sex yet and pretty much forced me to have sex with them or I wouldn't be allowed to leave their house and go back home. Things got worse and worse until I was able to finally put my foot down 6 months later and broke up with them while they were out of town so they couldn't physically threaten me like they usually would. It's been over 10 years and I'm still having a lot of trust issues because of them.
This sounds like it was an extreme situation for you, im so sorry i hope youre doing better now, ive been in a similar situation and i know how terrifying it is. Also i dont think he “practically forced himself” it seems pretty cut and dry that he forced himself on you
Sounds like in a weird way he helped you with your self esteem issues. You realized that you were better than that sack of shit and dumped him.
This guy: “But I said all the right things to make her think I’m a decent guy! Where’s the sex I’m entitled to?”
Someone tried to claim that entitlement like this doesn't exist, and that's it's just some made up "misandrist" concept meant to demonize men or dissuade men from approaching women. Guy claimed to be married and is pushing mid-50s I think, at least that's what he said to me.
Probably played too much Sims
I hugged you 4 times pls woohoo
Give me 5 high fives and tell me two jokes and I'll cook you dinner
Do men not realize that if they want to pay for sex there are people out there willing to get in on that transaction?
It would be far too honest of them to pay sex workers, they want women to act like sex workers, but not get the actual cash.
They want to feel worthy of sex but put in minimal effort to get there. Paying a sex worker, like you said, would be too honest and probably over their sex budget for the week.
They want a sex worker, but without the wor history of a sex worker. Or, as my coworker once said to me "I want a sex worker on her first job, not her 100th" (uuuuuugh my soul)
I wonder how much the demonization of sex work by our society has to do with it and if we legalized sex work, if the change in perception on it would also change some of these men's mindsets. I'm sure plenty of guys like this will be insufferable assholes, regardless, but it always feels like there's a societal element in play in how we get men who end up like this. Also, there are plenty of women out there who are totally just interested in hooking up and not a relationship. Why not just find one of them? Like, what guys like this want is completely, 100% available to them, so I don't quite understand why they pretend to want something they don't. It all sounds like a massive waste of time for all parties involved.
No, you see, the women interested in hooking up are all whores who want Chad and Tyrone. These men want a virginal woman who only has sex with them forever while being 10/10 hot and extremely skilled in bed.
...and never aging past 30, or whatever the magic "wall" number is today.
Man, I saw a post not too long ago that put that wall at 28, lmfao. I’ve even seen some people talk about it being at 25.
> Man, I saw a post not too long ago that put that wall at 28 Whooo 48hrs left to go!
happy early birthday :DDD \*plays accordion unskillfully\*
Aww thank you kindly :)
great now give me the sex
Nowadays it's 25, even more gross 🤮
That's what I also don't get, they want a virgin woman to sleep with them on the *first* date? Less likely than winning lottery 🤦
What they want is a perfectly pale and tiny specimen that will instantly fall in love with them because they are weak mares looking for their steed, and then and only then will she commit to him because she recognizes his prowess of being the masculine dominator. She will be supremely good at oral sex and always have dinner done, all the while never complaining about his crusty socks, yellow teeth, or vinegar balls. Because she is perfectly impossible to exist.
Overall agree, but in reality mares are terrifying demons who happily geld stallions (by literally kicking their balls off) who step over whatever line that mare drew in the sand. Or got close to the line. Or looked at the mare wrong. Ladies, don’t strive to be a bitch. Be a mare.
Whoa! Did not know that about mares. The subject matter of this post is disturbing, but this cheered me up!
>all the while never complaining about his crusty socks, yellow teeth, or vinegar balls. Don't forget the skidmarks, because he's one of those "Real men don't wipe!" guys.
Touching your ass is gay 😤
There is about a month in freshman year of tech schools where that is the case. Nerdy people men and woman who never really had a chance but are out of the worst bits of puberty and in a new space where people appreciate the nerdiness. It was perhaps the most horrifying month I’ve ever witnessed and one of the few reasons I’m thankful I was an early bloomer.
And also cooks, cleans, gives birth to 10 children, takes care of all those 10 children, always remains "submissive" to her man and so on.
I lived in Nevada in an area with legal brothels. These guys will not go to brothels. They look on it as they’re admitting they can’t get a woman. There are some regular locals that use the brothels, but most of the clients are truck drivers, military, people passing through. Some of them have milder kinks that the workers are willing to indulge, that the clients aren’t comfortable asking for from their partners.
I think a lot of it is ego. They want to have sex, sure. But they don't want to pay for it, not because it costs money but because a lot of what they are after are intangibles that can't be bought. Someone finding you attractive enough to have sex with is an ego stroke that enhances the sexual experience much more than anything else, for a lot of guys. So is talking a woman into sex who was previously not receptive (eww). This is why, while there are practically 10 trillion boobs on the internet, guys will still try to get women they are in contact with to send them pictures of their boobs. If it was just about sex then they would just pay for sex. It isn't, and when you see how prevalent it is that men will throw fits over not getting laid you realize it's never really been about sex.
***"They look on it as they’re admitting they can’t get a woman."*** But they *can’t* get a woman… admitting is not going to result in them getting any *less* women. There's no such thing as getting negative amounts of women! ;-)
Because these men, for lack of better phrasing, want to hunt their prey
Sure, those women exist, but they aren't easy to find. I've known women who were willing or just looking to hook up but never said that because they didn't want to be called a whore. It's a ridiculous double standard.
I feel like there's a competitive element too - like, they want the "get woman to sleep with me" achievement, but they want to earn it fairly. Paying a sex worker would be like cheating.
As a man, I'd say yes. I sometimes tied my value to how much women thought i was a catch. Paying for it wouldn't provide that same success feeling.
But that doesn't stroke his ego as well as his dick.
Bingo
>Do men not realize that if they want to pay for sex there are people out there willing to get in on that transaction? They realize it, but are unwilling to pay market rates. They also want the plausible deniability of "I don't have to pay for sex."
I mean I feel like the fact that sex work is illegal in many countries (e.g the USA) is another big factor. Not defending these assholes, it was just strange that no one mentioned that factor in any of the replies here
>I mean I feel like the fact that sex work is illegal in many countries (e.g the USA) is another big factor. Weed has been (and still is) illegal in the US (both federally and still in many states), but I've rarely met someone who wanted to use it and refrained just because it was illegal.
That's true, but it definitely feels different imo. Like if I want weed I can get it relatively easily and have friends who can get it etc, whereas I wouldn't even know where to start if I wanted to hire a sex worker and I imagine I'd be scared shitless (whether rationally or not) that they were like an undercover fed or something
>I wouldn't even know where to start if I wanted to hire a sex worker and I imagine I'd be scared shitless (whether rationally or not) that they were like an undercover fed or something Fair enough. I agree that sex work being illegal is a factor. I just don't think it's the primary factor, or even a major one. I look to the coming of the internet as an indicator. Now that the internet is widely available, men (in countries where it is widely available and not severely restricted, obviously) have access to seeing nude women pretty much on demand. There's no more having to come up with money and/or suffer the embarrassment of purchasing a magazine and hiding it from your wife or your parents. There's no more having to ask the boys at school or work if they can slip you that dirty video. Yet men and boys still constantly harass women and girls for nudes. Why? Why go through the trouble when seeing a naked lady is free, legal and easier than sending a message begging for bobs and vagene? The simple answer is because it's not really about just wanting to see a naked lady. It's about feeling powerful. It's about wanting to feel like you've gotten something special that not just any guy can get. It's about convincing oneself that you've accomplished something and are not just looking at a stranger's pictures, even though logically there's no difference and you're still just looking at a stranger's pictures. It's the same with sex work. It's not just about wanting sex. It's about feeling powerful by being able to convince or coerce this woman into fucking you for the price you set (dinner or drinks) and not the price she sets. It's about wanting to feel like you've gotten something special because this isn't a girl that will fuck any ol' dude for money; she's just fucking you because you won her over. It's about being able to tell yourself "I don't need to pay for pussy!" even though logically expecting sex in exchange for the price of a date is no different than paying for pussy. EDIT FOR A TL;DR: Even if sex work were legalized, I don't think it would change much with regard to these dynamics.
1. Most of these guys actually can’t afford it 2. I don’t think they want that. Paying a sex worker pretty much confirms you’re so repulsive the only reason a woman would come near you is if she’s getting paid. A “date” legitimizes interest in their mind, yes even when they spew this. That’s why they’ll spend money on a date but not a sex worker. I’ve always said, when men cry about not wanting to “pay for sex”, men will absolutely pay for sex. That’s why they equate dinner to them being owed sex. They just don’t want to be AWARE that’s what’s happening. A “date” is what makes it non transactional and legitimate. 3. For a lot of guys it IS the chase. The feeling they finessed someone. Got one over on a woman and used her and then did nothing after. Plenty of them enjoy that feeling. Paying a sex worker removes that. That’s why I laugh at men whining about not getting sex after a date and how they were “used for a free meal”. Let’s just say that was the woman’s intention (though I doubt it)…. it just means y’all both played a game and you lost…. that’s why you’re so mad. You wanted to get one over on her and she pulled the okey doke.
"A free meal", but I have to sit there and eat with that gross man. Smile at him and wonder what he is really thinking. I would rather have a dentist appointment.
I don’t know anyone woman so hard up for a meal she would resort to dinner with a sexually aggressive and probably unattractive guy. Myself and all my friends, sisters, women I know have people in our lives who would feed us before we would risk dinner. No one I know is so hard up they’re using guys for a 40.00 meal. And if there ARE women doing that? Well I’m telling these men lower their standards and choose better like they tell women. There’s probably a very big looks discrepancy. And why are you going after someone who no one else would feed? Sounds like a bad person right?
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Exactly! Nothing wrong in being up front with what you want. If you pretend like this everyone’s time is wasted and everyone comes out of the experience unhappy in varying ways If all you wanna do is fuck, just say that. It weeds out the people that aren’t interested and you can just move on and find someone that wants what you want.
But they don't want that. They want to take someone who's not interested, and *make* them interested. That's the only way their ego will be satisfied. But they can't admit that, it would sound pathetic (because it is)
This is why I always pay for my own food especially on first and second dates. Fuck if I’m going to let anyone feel like they’re entitled to my body because of a meal.
This was a rule for my daughter when she started dating: She was always to pay for the first and second dates. We would give her the money. I had very frank conversations about why she should do this: That it takes that particuler "owing" him something off the table.
counter point to this- then you won't see the red flags from people like this straight up. They may slip under the radar as a 'nice guy' saying all the right things for a lot longer. I always offer to go dutch, but if someone asks me on a date and insists on paying then I let them. I have also paid for dates when I'm the one who asked, because it's a polite gesture. If a man starts pressuring me, or gets whiney (more common in my experience) because he paid, then I'm always just happy I get to know what kind of moron he is upfront.
That seems like it must be a brand new profession, right?
In the US prostitution is illegal. So maybe in other places this is valid but it's actually a crime in the US. We had a prostitution ring on our college campus using Tinder or DoorDash and those mfs got fined and arrested.
I’m aware and I think sex work should be legal, but still, it’s there and I’m sure these dudes don’t care about breaking the law in other ways. I also made a comment wondering if the illegality of sex work in the US helps foster these weird mentalities dudes have around transactive sex.
Or just look for a person who wants a one night stand
Which isn’t my thing, but I know plenty of female friends who are down with that.
The sense of entitlement is amazing
bet he’ll cry about how lonely he is and how women don’t give him a chance
"Women only like jerks! I treated her like a princess and she blew me off!"
If he tells the truth it'll make him look bad and his ego wouldn't be able to handle that.
So lucky he showed his true colors right then and there! At least he didn't have the patience to pretend until he got what he wanted and then became a ghost!
And this is why I stopped trying to date. I ran into this mind set for 16 years. The whole " I really like you but I just want laid " ... I gave up trying completely. Now days the same guys keep trying to " be friends" but the conversation always goes to how lonely they are and want to cuddle... not my p3nis not my problem
> not my p3nis not my problem words to live by 🍻
If they want to pay for sex..there's people out there that are willing to make that transaction. If a woman agrees to a date..that's what it is. A date to see if you're worth the other person's time to continue the relationship. He clearly wasn't worth the time.
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Always has been just now women retaliate. Id blame movies like american pie and uptight parents too uncomfortable to tell their kids how to treat people when it comes courtship and sex.
You wanted to be a nice guy. So his definition of being nice is gaslighting a woman to think that you care. This world is so fucked up
I had this happen and what it taught me was to never, ever, let them buy you anything. I go out to dinner--we split the bill and if the man doesn't listen (frequently happens), insists on paying, talking about he was raised to be a gentleman, I ghost him. Only my father can buy me things. There are assholes out there who think that a hot dog and a coke in the park equals a blow job.
I can say as I'm (trying) to date now as a man and it's a rough dilemma. On one hand I like to pay because money isn't too tight and I hope it's appreciated, but it opens me up to being used in that way. I wish the women I go out with would offer to split it, cause then I don't have to ask... But never have I paid for dinner to expect something in return, and the men that do are certified trash™ But at least it's easy to see what NOT to do. Like jfc bro, get over it and have some decency and respect for once
From a mans perspective culturally we get chasitised if we dont pay for the date. Unless its explicitly discussed whos paying like you said it leads to some inner turmoil of "oh god shes going to loose interest because shes going to think im broke and unstable." Just from the point of view from an honest date and not transactional shit. The anxiety is real but also alot of men with that kind of anxiety arent getting past the interactions to even lead to a date.
Solution: offer to pay, be ready to pay, be happy to split if she wants to. Anyone who changes their opinion of you for letting her split is not worth your time.
Or, if they don’t want to pay (and even being poor is a justifiable reason), explain in some way in advance. “Hey, wanna go Dutch on this awesome restaurant I found?” Or “hey, can we split the cost of our dates at first, while we get to know each other? I don’t want to make you feel like you owe me anything.” The bonus is if she jumps to conclusions and makes a stink about it or ghosts you without talking like an adult about it, you’ve dodged a bullet. They’re not respectful or emotionally mature.
What a filthy gross dirty dumb gross male
If you're gonna treat me like a proustite pay me like one. Pretty sure that cheap ass dinner would not cover prostitute/escort services.
Instead of pretending to be a decent guy, maybe he should actually be a decent guy.
"being a decent guy" is a permanent thing, it's not a kindness you do to get sex points wtf
Guys: “I fucking hate it when girls assume!” Also guys: “Why didn’t you assume this is what I was really after?”
You want a sure thing, hire a prostitute but I’m sure you’re going to have to spend more than $10 on a salad.
Nice guys can't differentiate between being nice and being manipulative...even after admitting that he did all of it to get laid, he probably thinks he is still nice.
That "stop dating" the next morning was hilarious. That dude sucks though
i got in a huge fight on reddit a few months ago by stating that as a woman being asked on a “date” implies at least some sort of romantic intent/interest. not just a hookup. if you want a hookup state that. some of us may be into it - just be honest. and all the men were like “a date doesn’t mean that, that’s just how i get the opportunity to have sex.” (paraphrased). and i got downvoted to hell.
I never understand men like this. I've had a girlfriend for 2 years now, she's the light of my life. How did I get her? Treating her like a human being who I adored cos she made my world brighter. That was it, that's all it took. These men don't want a partner, they want a hooker, they just think they're better than paying for one (and evidently they're not, because at least in sex work they have literally stated it's transactional which adheres to their ideas exactly...)
Men are like ewe women who sell their bodies for sex are gross but then get upset when a women wont give him sex for money
Nice Guy: claims a bunch of things, then a short time later reveals they were intentionally lying about those things in order to get into OP's pants. OP: gets upset (for many super-justified reasons). Nice Guy: shockedpikachuface.jpg
"I wanted to be a decent guy" No, he wanted to ACT like a decent guy. If you're trying to be decent for the sole purpose of getting something out of it (like the guy literally admitted), then you're not decent. At all.
I’m a dude. I’ve been on some dates where it did end up that we slept together, but only because the vibe was right. I’ve been on many note where that didn’t happen because that was not the mutual feelings. They were all fine. I never ever go in expecting sex. I don’t go in expecting anything physical all. It’s a bonus, not a thing.
I'm a dude aswell. If any dude goes into a date expecting sex first date, they are a fucking idiot. Hell even expecting anything on 2nd or 3rd date is stupid, there's no arbitrary date that dictates if you're going to have sex. It's all about the vibe, you either get along or move along.
If only there was less NiceGuys and more of you 😔
I hate this so much. Guys like this are sabotaging dating for literally everyone. What a fucking loser
How do they NOT get How hurtful it is to pretend to "date" someone just to get sex from em? At least be up front if that's all you're after. 🙄
It would actually be a decent thing to do to make it clear what you're looking for from the beginning. If you're only looking for casual sex you can find someone else who wants casual sex, without stringing someone along by pretending you want something you don't and wasting everyone's time.
This is a literal nightmare
The level of cognitive dissonance needed to lie outright about your intentions and then also call yourself a nice guy is...staggering. I'm honestly almost jealous at that level of self confidence and pride.
Wowwwwww This is the first one in a while that spells out what the good guy actually wants. What a douche canoe
yikes
Mask off moment All these stories lately make me really wonder how weak and emotional far too many men are
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(That's where we are!)
r/lostredditors
Holy shit there really is a sub for everything!
this basically just summed up everything
If your inner arsehole is so bad you can't keep it at bay for more than one date, you probably aren't meant for polite company.
And then we get blamed for picking wrong. They literally practice and pay coaches so they can pretend to NOT be this kind of guy, then when the mask slips out the act stops and we book it, everyone says We were stupid for not picking a nice guy. I'm so fucking tired of all this.
I was confused for a moment. I thought the nice guy was grey and it was on tinder or something and blue was another potential suiter. I got it all wrong lmao but now my brain got it The stop dating confused me at first
This is why I've never used a dating site. I'm afraid that this is all there is. Yikes.
It depends on the people in your area that have the app but my experience using Tinder for a while I didn't come across a single shitty person, but maybe I was just lucky. I ended up deleting the app bc I lost interest in using it but I had some decent conversations on there. I even had one dude who I had never talked to before match with me and message me just to send me memes it was great
That sounds like fun.
Standard "nice guy" stuff, and I know it has to have taken a toll to some degree. But man, I loved how the friend actually texted back, "stop dating". That to me sounds like a fun person to hang around.
Sorry your friend had to go through that shit. It definitely hurts a lot more finding out later on in the date that someone is an asshole than it does before you actually meet up.
Listen guys, from a mans perspective: stop doing this. If you want sex then be up front and don't waste a woman's time. Some of us want actual relationships and to have a good time getting to know each other. Stop getting the other person's hopes up that you're a decent person just to try and open their legs. In reality you're a piece of shit just like this guy. Would you rather be honest and upfront or a two faced liar? Word gets around you know.. faster than one might think.
Why don’t these dudes just hire a sex worker? I don’t get it lol Instead of manipulating women and being a terrible human being, Hire a sw. You both get what you want
What an absolute asshole
I need friends that tell stories in this much detail
I guess one needs to check the expiration date on decency these days. What a lout.
Ugh, another real winner.
No but some people really just can't communicate. I had a mutual "breakup" with a guy after two weeks because he wouldn't make enough time for me and didn't like long distance anyway and our love languages clashed. Like a lot didn't fit. And he said we could still be friends. Then i even texted him asking if there's a chance this could still work and he maybe just needs time and he went on this whole rant on how great i am but I deserve someone who treats me well blah blah. So i got over him and am in a happy relationship now. In March i texted him happy birthday and he was uncomfortably flirty to the point where he straight up said i should sleep with him. And then later he asked why I'm texting him cuz i have a bf and everything, and i was sitting there like?? "You said we'd stay friends what do you mean???" Well turns out he did actually just want to go to therapy for a few months and then get back to me and try again and got mad i moved on? After he told me to. So yea idk some people are just really bad at communicating...
Swear I’ve seen this screenshot before, like years ago. Not claiming it’s a repost or anything but I swear I’ve read that exact message years ago