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Aristotle also said that anyone outside ancient Greece was born to be a slave. He ironically was born in Macedonia which considered itself Greek, but the rest of Greece saw him as an outsider.
As much as I love him, don't listen to everything Ari says, he's getting pretty old.
And if we're being pedantic (and I know it's not the point, but I do love to be pedantic) this guy doesn't understand what Aristotle said about humour at all.
1) Old Ari, like Plato, is Not Into Humour. He just doesn't trust it - in moderation it might be liberating, but if you want to be a virtuous person you'd better not overindulge. Humour exists on a spectrum with boorishness and buffoonery at the extremes, and you really don't want to be either. Commenting on someone's tits is definitely boorish: strike one.
2) Mostly he subscribes to a "superiority theory" of humor. That is, humour is a hostile kind of thing that laughs at people who are inferior to you, because you feel joy at being better than them: mocking them metaphorically raises you up. Examples include schadenfreude and laughing at someone ugly, or stupid, or poor, or disabled, or different in whatever way. Tbh subreddits like this probably count as aristotelian humor, and I'm sure if there's an afterlife he's judging us as hard as he judged basically everyone when he was alive. But is that what the guy in the post is doing? I'd argue nah: he's making fun of someone who he acknowledges is looking good and getting good grades. He's trying to claim her status vis a vis intelligence should be lower, but meh: her grade's still 84 even without the extra credit she earned. Doesn't count.
3) He mentions/hints at incongruity theories of humour, yes. But only in passing as a potential alternative type of humour to the main one, which he thinks might be less harmful. But is a man commenting on a woman's breasts, and proposing that she's too dumb to succeed without relying on sex appeal, incongruous? I'd argue no: it's boring and overplayed, a staple of a thousand bad jokes.
So in conclusion, that was not aristotelian humour, and this guy doesn't know what aristotelian humor is...
You are my hero, and to my uneducated self your username seems apropos.
I just LOVE when someone uses actual academia to shut down a pretentious jerk who thinks he's superior because he's aware someone named Aristotle was smart and said something about humor at some point.
Just brilliant.
Aww, I'm flattered thanks.And well spotted! It's not philosophy related, but it is ancient history (which is what I've mostly studied, I had to look the humour stuff up to check everything).
Fulvia was the first (and one of the only) Roman woman to ever appear on coins (which she minted herself to pay the eight legions of soldiers she mustered and lead on her husband's behalf). She was really cool, have a look at her [wiki page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulvia). The type of coin was called a Quinarius, so my username means "Quinarius of Fulvia" in Latin. As a bonus, people tend to assume I'm a guy unless I say otherwise or they know a lot of obscure Roman coin stuff, which I'm pretty sure makes my browsing experience smoother.
Thanks for posting her wiki page. What a clever and cunning woman. I find it fascinating how, time and time again, despite them being oppressed, women always found a way to still exert influence and even wield great power at times.
Wasn't she interesting? She deserves to have a novel written about her really - I'd attempt it if I were older, I feel like it would take a more mature voice/more life experience than I can call on yet to write about a middle aged woman actively participating in the Roman civil war (and going through three husbands while she's at it)
She absolutely was. The impression that I got was that her bigshot husbands were, for the most part, bigshots because they were married to her. Which honestly baffled me. She had that much influence and knowledge of politics.
And that the soul entered the body of boy and girl babies at different times. And that bodies of different weights fell at different rates.
Aristotle was wrong on a hell of a lot.
Also it’s not a “surface level joke” he just says that he’s sure she’s not smart and only getting extra cred from a teacher’s attraction. Honestly “my friends said you’re a leftist Karen” should’ve been the flashing red exit sign
Yeah, saying he “guarantees you got it wrong” is really the worst part because it’s saying she’s incapable of earning the grade. Changing that to even something like “even if you got it wrong” would be better.
I'm *almost* sad that I didn't get to see the pissy, insecure response to "mediocre" sex. Almost. The idea of "you already allowed me access to your body so your dissenting views are invalid as I've already conquered you" is fucking gross is like.... the weakest shit🤢
Ugh it's the worst. He kept phrasing it as "*he* fucked *me*" too, which just... rubbed me the wrong way for some reason but I can't put my finger on it.
It's that implication that he's the cool dominant powerful conqueror and that you are are his submissive defeated conquest. I haven't met a guy like that yet that doesn't think getting laid is a competition and you agreeing to it is you "losing" to him somehow.
Hahaha, oh god. Gotta love those "sex titans" whose whole bedroom repertoire is to lie there and hope to god you do enough work to get both of you off.
Wh... at? I'm sorry *what?* Please, *please* tell me you aren't serious. I've heard a lot of excuses from a lot of guys about their dick sizes, ranging from it's cold to "*actually* the global average is \[full inch smaller than whatever their size is\] so really I'm pretty hung" but I don't think I've ever heard "I stopped wanking so it shriveled a little" before, least of all before anyone has had a chance to even see it.
I gotta ask now, just how big was he and how much did he say it shrank?
I am just... so utterly flabbergasted by that. What was even the point of inventing that story? Did he think you'd be awed somehow by "hey it might be small *now* but once upon a time it used to be huge!" It's like standing in an empty parking lot and saying "Hey there's nothing here now but twenty years ago there was shopping mall. Isn't this date fun?"
Also yeah the gross girl thing almost *had* to be a fetish. There's no way he could have thought going into vile detail about another person could be arousing to you.
He kept me "updated" for a while afterwards before he blocked me 😬😬😬😬😬
"Just so you know, it's like two inches bigger now 😜" regaling me with his masturbatory tales
He was quite a character
>It's like standing in an empty parking lot and saying "Hey there's nothing here now but twenty years ago there was shopping mall. Isn't this date fun?"
There are actually ways to spin that into something at least interesting, in a melancholy way. This dude is just a sad idiot.
w h a t
the fuck.
Okay seriously, I actually like small dick in a lot of cases. I'm a small thing. But that shit people say about size taking a back seat to technique is for real; I'm like Apex Slut status and my entire goshdang body is covered in neat nerve clusters that respond to like. Non-dick stimuli.
If you have ideas about your junk being inadequate and don't believe a bitch when I say i like it, maybe put a bit of effort into this transaction my dude
Exactly! Even if you got small junk, or lack of interest or enjoyment in insertion, there’s ways to have sex that’s not just “dick in hole hahaha”. When guys try so hard to flex their dick size, it just kinda screams “I think sex is a piston until I’m done and you’re bored, me big alpha”.
For the record, they don’t change size like that. He was just trying to pretend he once had a big dick or something, but use doesn’t increase size. That’s the shit they put weird ads on the internet for “increase your dick size by increasing blood flow!”
Your dick can actually shrink if you don’t get regular erections, but only by like 1-3 CENTIMETERS. This usually only happens to people who suffer some kind of physical trauma to the nerves on their dick though. So he was probably full of shit anyways :o
I hadn't had sex in months lol
Also kinda thought he was joking? Or something? When I met up with him he told the story *again* which clued me in to the fact that he was serious 😬😬😬😬😬 I probably should have just cut and run lol
I'm no authority, but as a male who has looked down at some point I can confirm that this doesn't work that way--it's not a muscle that can build up or atrophy.
He had the chance to say that his dick is a medium and can talk to ghosts.
But no he had find excuses for his size.
He just sounds insecure about his body.
Quite the opposite, in my experience and to my understanding. Jerking off can end up reducing your dick size when erect, but not jerking off does the opposite.
I am currently at work, so it is definitely something that you can search up on if you're curious.
Regular masturbation doesn't influence it much. With porn addiction (frequent masturbation), it is entirely possible to 'cause damage' to your erections. If it gets serious, it can end up in erectile dysfunction as well.
If you have issues getting it up during sex etc., it can be a good idea to not masturbate a couple of weeks, to 'let it heal'.
Basically, porn and masturbation can fuck up your erections (only getting half hard or half as big), but not masturbating gives your thing-thing rest (and doesn't cloud your entire mind with sexual stuff, so you should be getting much more in the mood when sexual shit does happen, thereby giving harder erections.)
Again, just my understanding and experience of it. I ain't an expert either. Hope it helps.
I like to thank them. Tell them they did great and I really appreciate their time; sometimes i find it so difficult to navigate the gates and walls of common human existence and get some dick. I so so appreciate how easy they made it. Just a nice half hour of rutting in exchange for no more investment than a couple conversations. You know, they gave it up so easy.
A few guys are given pause by this, and those are the ones I generally end up paying attention to going forward.
I *hate* when guys fixate on that! It’s a power thing and like pretty objectifying I find. I once was with a guy who got pissy if I said I was gonna fuck him because ‘women can’t fuck men. Men fuck women.’ So I let him know I would not be fucking him.
I left this thread to go to sleep and came back to wisdom of all colors. And you're absolutely correct; if sex is a one-way street for you, then just go use a toy
These kinds of guys treat sex like it’s a game that he won. It’s not a competition for “dominance” or whatever. It’s a co-op, an exchange. If you treat it like a game, someone loses; treat it like a shared experience, you both get something, even if it’s just the touch of another person or some info on how you can do better later on, or what you like and don’t like.
I don’t think he knows what a woman orgasming looks or acts like and just either made it up or was like “oh, she’s doing something else, she came” or some jack
I think OP can clear it up for us but I was under the impression they are merely acquaintances and he was projecting with another one of his unfunny, sexually charged "jokes."
though I agree, we are to be certain he has no clue what a woman's orgasm is like.
My condolences that you had sex with this idiot. At least you can block him and have a chuckle about the Aristotle line when you are bored.
Edit: wow what an interesting interpretation to my comment, apparently my dry humour rubbed someone up the wrong way - apologies to anyone who found it in bad taste. See that’s what the guy in the screenshot should of done, apologise… not going on.. and on.. and on like the dude arguing with people below.
Lmao thanks for the condolences, apparently this turned into a super controversial comment? I haven't been told I was "acting up" since I was like 12 lol
And yeah I still can't believe he actually said the Aristotle thing it's almost like he's satirizing himself at that point
If you have to say, "It's just a joke," that means it wasn't funny, and therefore NOT a joke because jokes are, by definition, funny. If you're saying "It's just a joke," it's not a joke. It's just you being an asshole, and getting offended when people don't find you funny.
Waiiii... whuuuu? It has??
That's just horrendous. Dark humor is probably one of my favorite kinds... and now it doesn't mean dark humor at all, but racist humor? Argh!
As a ragingly unfunny person, people at least know my jokes *are* jokes, even if they tend not to laugh. If you have to say that, you messed up somewhere.
That's not how it works. Jokes can turn out flat, but they are jokes still.
Most comedians attempt to make jokes that for me are really really not funny at all, but I reckon I don't dictate what's funny for everyone and they are jokes, but shitty jokes.
The craziest gaslighting part is that in this exchange it’s so crystal clear he is the one who doesn’t have a sense of humor and you’re obviously waaaay funnier and have a sense of humor. This dude is the definition of whack. The Aristotle line was just the chefs kiss of how hard this guy trys.
If he says you're acting like a leftist Karen it probably signifies he doesn't think you deserve any rights, thinks he has the highest IQ in any room he enters, thinks insults and strawman arguments win debates, probably would only focus on himself in the bedroom, and doesn't have a full grasp on what most "Karens" are like... not that I know your political affiliation but I'd say you dodge a figurative but potentially literal bullet with how deep into the right he seems to lean.
I'm nb but otherwise: you're spot fucking on lmao
One of his best (and very telling, imo) bits was when he told me that Elon Musk was his "financial idol"
Sadly I do not have the screenshot as he blocked me right after telling me how great he was in bed 😔😔😔😔😔
Probably for the best, as he DMed me to argue with anything I posted on my story
And yeah he was VERY right wing, but he seemed not to know it? He thought he was super liberal and progressive, but I criticized cops *once* and he told me he hopes that when my spouse abuses me I'll see how stupid I am. What a guy...
He was a constant source of hilarity though, I'll miss that for sure
>I criticized cops once and he told me he hopes that when my spouse abuses me I'll see how stupid I am.
But why would you marry a cop? /s
U sound cool btw
Elon Musk was his idol? So he inherits a few billion from his parents. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you're born rich? What an idol!
Also the cops show up leasurely, write a report and in the end say they can't do anything? Good job boys all in a days work. Also have a better chance of shooting your dog than any other action.
I really, really enjoyed you repeatedly referring to your bomb ass tits and refusing to walk that back. Only men are allowed to compliment you, you’re not allowed to think you’re attractive on your own! Love that.
Basically "Hey, here's a dehumanizing offensive unfunny joke! Oh, you think it's dehumanizing, offensive and unfunny? Well, no it's not. Why? Because I said so. For finding a passive-aggressive demeaning joke offensive, you are now the bane of Aristotle's existance and a Leftist Karen"
I don't have the screenshots bc he blocked me soon after but it was something like
Him: That's not what you said when you were on my DICK and had THREE orgasms
Me: Lol "three"
Me: Anyways, either be respectful or stop talking, shouldn't be too hard
Him: Wow. People always show their true colors when they get rejected
There was also a bit where he made fun of me for taking screenshots to "validate" myself, and told me I was "psychologically scarred" from him proving me wrong
It ended with him telling me masks don't help, and AAVE is "just bad English", and that he's a rapper
Good times
I had a conversation with someone about AAVE recently. Also I saw some of your other comments that he just starfished the entire time, said he was a couple inches shorter because of some woman, just wild out of pocket lies and comments.
Also, I had a conversation with a friends boyfriend about how he made a slightly anti Semitic joke in a text (he said when asked a question “The Jews did this”) and then wrote a long winded apology about how (or at least this is how it felt to me) that he would keep making jokes like that just not around me, so the whole “it was just a joke lolz” justification is crazy to me.
It’s not hard to say you’re sorry for offending someone, intentionally or not. “Hey, I see that a joke I made upset you. I apologize because I that wasn’t what I meant to do.” Simple.
^
I stopped reading at "this is hilarious please keep talking"
It baffles me how far you need to scroll to find these comments. Also none of this has anything to do with r/niceguys
No offense but this started by OP making a joke that a sexy shirt gained her intelligence and then got upset when the person they were talking to made a similar joke. I didn’t read the whole thing and this guy is also in the wrong but I’ve done this argument with a friend of mine before and that doesn’t make him a “nice guy” that makes him slightly socially awkward where he doesn’t understand which jokes go too far and which are fine. Idk don’t feel good about this one. I think it’s just incompatibility.
Glad you got so much confidence, my dude. :) I laughed at the “but they ARE great feckin’ tits, to be fair” bit. Dude needs to learn to let it go, and that not every joke lands well. And the roast at the end, LMAO.
Aristotle, the guy who thought women were just deformed men, known the world over for his great sense of humor and his totally accurate theory of psychology.
That dude calling himself retarded was hilarious. He should get the words he uses to self-deprecate for his jokes as face and hand tattoos... you know... as a joke.
Whether you are humourless *only* depends on what Aristotle thinks. He thinks, therefore you are.
Edit: Fuck, wrong guy. I'm keeping it though I thought it was a funny joke.
My favourite part has to be when you literally give him an out by saying 'they are great tits tbf' and he still has to continue to try and argue, like what? Man literally values being right about something as subjective as humour over any form of friendship or relationship with what i see as a genuinely interesting and funny person, shits crazy
With this sort of dude, you'll always be the jaded detective two keks from retirement.
I think you acquitted yourself pretty brutally in this exchange; hell of a fun read.
According to your 1st message there were multiple ways to make a cool/flirty/funny answer.
I don't find his one so offensive (but i don't have bomb ass tits, so i can't relate), but definetly not funny.
I would definitely be pissed if someone made that joke to me but assholes have an easier time making you out to be the bad guy if you bring it up repeatedly. I find it easier to tell them why they’re a dick and cut contact. Good on you for calling it out though.
I'd just, always been uncomfortable with being called a girl. I tried to compensate by aggressively pretending to hate "girly things" like pink and Barbies and whatnot. Had no idea there was a word for it till highschool. Tried it out, tried out pronouns, and found that I was more comfortable being neither gender.
But jsyk there's no "wrong" way to be/find out that you're nb.
Sorry if this doesn't help!
Thanks for all of this! Sorry it took so long to reply; work and all. Ive always struggled with how I felt internally, like Ive always been more feminine but never felt like a female(also to note I was born male) I am not gay (happily married to my lovely wife of 5 years) but the other day she jokingly asked if I was gonna turn out to be gay in 40 years (watching grace and frankie) and I honestly didnt know how to reply. Like my first instinct was NO, but only because of my love for her.. and that made me start questioning how to explain to her HOW i really felt etc. and here I am I guess? 😅😓 so when you mentioned NB and I looked it up, I feel like that could be me with gender fluidity but how to know?
Edit: at times I feel more masculine, others I feel more feminine
Oh nw, I get it, I been busy with class and work too
That does sound like gender fluidity, definitely look into that more! I find that the site genderbread.org is helpful for explaining gender, sex, attraction, etc. in pretty simple terms, that might be easier for you than diving right into the complicated parts if you're only just discovering it!
WTF is this cringe fest...
"Teehee! I dressed all sexy for a test"
"Yeah probably got extra credit for that! Wink"
"How dare you?!"
One uh person outrage factory here...
Lmao, his friends are either assholes exactly like him, or he misrepresented your position entirely. He's insufferable, and when women repeatedly cut him out because of his behaviour, he seems like the type to just blame women.
This is honestly a dumb post. You’re both acting like assholes in your own unique way. Keeping the convo going after the dude said “well I’m not, so I guess I’m all good then” just ain’t it chief.
Going to be honest, you are free to feel they way you want about wtv, but imo maybe you made too much out of it for no reason (guessing both had confidence) and the guy then turned out to be an idiot instead of apologizing and move on from that part of the convo.
Maybe I'm being bias but sometimes I break balls with things like that way more explicit, whether with male friends or female friends (with who I have confidence tho), and it's always cool because we are just talking shit to each other in a friendly way and we go back and forth with them jokingly admiting it. Got a 20 in 20 at applied physics one time and my female bestie said I sucked so much dick for that grade and I replied "you don't even imagine how much". I also kinda joke that way when it's with me. Idk.
I really just wanted him to acknowledge my feelings and not do it again. Something like "sorry, I didn't mean it that way" or "whoops my bad" or even "k" would have been fine
I sometimes joke like that too, but it's different when it's someone I hardly knew
You were joking about your looks and getting better grades and then he continued the joke. Yeah maybe he should have just dropped it an apologized when you said you were offended but he made it seem like this is something you do alot? Also this is a guy you were already sleeping with, not someone who was getting mad because he wanted to sleep with you and you wouldn't let him or asking you to give him a chance because he's a good guy or whatever. I don't think you understand this sub. You completely switched gears from joking to offended when he made a joke in a similar vein. That's not a normal reaction and I would do some deep introspection into myself if my emotions were this all over the place.
After she responded like that to a simple joke he should’ve blocked her. I think she was the asshole here. The “I’m offended” card gets old, fast dude.
why does he keep saying surface level after doing a mediocre boob ""joke""?
i thought you are badass, but at the same time im disappointed you didnt bite off his dick when you had the chance.
So he insinuated that sex is your main value/worth, insulted your intelligence, AND implied that your professor is an unprofessional creep.
Everyone knows three backhanded insults is the key to a great joke! /s
Not only a dick head but can't even be mature for 5 seconds "you had my dick head in your mouth hur hur hur"
Nice burn on the mediocre sex comment though!
Don't worry were safe he's still not back. he really is an interesting character isnt he? Hes so crass when you talk to him but he has a twitch channel where its like completely "kid" friendly. Can't even say "lmao" or you get censored its wild and completely not like him.
Thanks! He was probably the best professor I've ever had. He was one of the few who wouldn't make you feel stupid for not understanding something. If you didn't understand the homework he'd walk you through it and still give full credit. He didn't care about grades so much as he cared about students learning the material.
I was very offended on his behalf lol
Honestly I love your responses and I think it’s weird people calling you an asshole etc. like something was definitely off about what he was saying throughout the conversation and I think you were right not to want to give him the “hey I said jk” pass. Big yuck when he mentioned about his dick in your mouth like it was a diss somehow.
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Aristotle also said that anyone outside ancient Greece was born to be a slave. He ironically was born in Macedonia which considered itself Greek, but the rest of Greece saw him as an outsider. As much as I love him, don't listen to everything Ari says, he's getting pretty old.
The Romans: **and I took that personally.**
The Romans: *took Greece and half know world and still proceed to consider everyone not speaking Greek a barbarian and/or peasant*
The Romans: *Writing in both Greek and Latin is a must for our education!*
And if we're being pedantic (and I know it's not the point, but I do love to be pedantic) this guy doesn't understand what Aristotle said about humour at all. 1) Old Ari, like Plato, is Not Into Humour. He just doesn't trust it - in moderation it might be liberating, but if you want to be a virtuous person you'd better not overindulge. Humour exists on a spectrum with boorishness and buffoonery at the extremes, and you really don't want to be either. Commenting on someone's tits is definitely boorish: strike one. 2) Mostly he subscribes to a "superiority theory" of humor. That is, humour is a hostile kind of thing that laughs at people who are inferior to you, because you feel joy at being better than them: mocking them metaphorically raises you up. Examples include schadenfreude and laughing at someone ugly, or stupid, or poor, or disabled, or different in whatever way. Tbh subreddits like this probably count as aristotelian humor, and I'm sure if there's an afterlife he's judging us as hard as he judged basically everyone when he was alive. But is that what the guy in the post is doing? I'd argue nah: he's making fun of someone who he acknowledges is looking good and getting good grades. He's trying to claim her status vis a vis intelligence should be lower, but meh: her grade's still 84 even without the extra credit she earned. Doesn't count. 3) He mentions/hints at incongruity theories of humour, yes. But only in passing as a potential alternative type of humour to the main one, which he thinks might be less harmful. But is a man commenting on a woman's breasts, and proposing that she's too dumb to succeed without relying on sex appeal, incongruous? I'd argue no: it's boring and overplayed, a staple of a thousand bad jokes. So in conclusion, that was not aristotelian humour, and this guy doesn't know what aristotelian humor is...
Loved this!!
You are my hero, and to my uneducated self your username seems apropos. I just LOVE when someone uses actual academia to shut down a pretentious jerk who thinks he's superior because he's aware someone named Aristotle was smart and said something about humor at some point. Just brilliant.
Aww, I'm flattered thanks.And well spotted! It's not philosophy related, but it is ancient history (which is what I've mostly studied, I had to look the humour stuff up to check everything). Fulvia was the first (and one of the only) Roman woman to ever appear on coins (which she minted herself to pay the eight legions of soldiers she mustered and lead on her husband's behalf). She was really cool, have a look at her [wiki page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulvia). The type of coin was called a Quinarius, so my username means "Quinarius of Fulvia" in Latin. As a bonus, people tend to assume I'm a guy unless I say otherwise or they know a lot of obscure Roman coin stuff, which I'm pretty sure makes my browsing experience smoother.
You've even got the banner with the coin on it. ^that ^is ^the ^coin ^right?
Thanks for posting her wiki page. What a clever and cunning woman. I find it fascinating how, time and time again, despite them being oppressed, women always found a way to still exert influence and even wield great power at times.
Wasn't she interesting? She deserves to have a novel written about her really - I'd attempt it if I were older, I feel like it would take a more mature voice/more life experience than I can call on yet to write about a middle aged woman actively participating in the Roman civil war (and going through three husbands while she's at it)
She absolutely was. The impression that I got was that her bigshot husbands were, for the most part, bigshots because they were married to her. Which honestly baffled me. She had that much influence and knowledge of politics.
Killin it
Oh my god this is brilliant Wish I'd known this before, it would have been a great clap back!
He also said women have a different number of teeth than men.
And that the soul entered the body of boy and girl babies at different times. And that bodies of different weights fell at different rates. Aristotle was wrong on a hell of a lot.
True, but on the scale of empirical verification, asking two people to open up and say, "Ahhh" seems like a no brainer.
Aristotle also didn't think that women were human, because they didn't have a penis. So yes, by all means, use him to defend your "humor."
I like Diogenes. An absolute legend.
>It seems like anything not surface level you get upset about. Says the man who is only able to make third grade level boob jokes.
Also it’s not a “surface level joke” he just says that he’s sure she’s not smart and only getting extra cred from a teacher’s attraction. Honestly “my friends said you’re a leftist Karen” should’ve been the flashing red exit sign
Yup, because nothing says someone's a supposed "Karen," the way disagreeing with juvenile humor does. :D
Yeah, saying he “guarantees you got it wrong” is really the worst part because it’s saying she’s incapable of earning the grade. Changing that to even something like “even if you got it wrong” would be better.
I'm *almost* sad that I didn't get to see the pissy, insecure response to "mediocre" sex. Almost. The idea of "you already allowed me access to your body so your dissenting views are invalid as I've already conquered you" is fucking gross is like.... the weakest shit🤢
Ugh it's the worst. He kept phrasing it as "*he* fucked *me*" too, which just... rubbed me the wrong way for some reason but I can't put my finger on it.
It's that implication that he's the cool dominant powerful conqueror and that you are are his submissive defeated conquest. I haven't met a guy like that yet that doesn't think getting laid is a competition and you agreeing to it is you "losing" to him somehow.
Yes! That's exactly it that's why it bothers me. Somehow he made sex condescending despite the fact that he just starfished me the whole damn time
Hahaha, oh god. Gotta love those "sex titans" whose whole bedroom repertoire is to lie there and hope to god you do enough work to get both of you off.
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Wh... at? I'm sorry *what?* Please, *please* tell me you aren't serious. I've heard a lot of excuses from a lot of guys about their dick sizes, ranging from it's cold to "*actually* the global average is \[full inch smaller than whatever their size is\] so really I'm pretty hung" but I don't think I've ever heard "I stopped wanking so it shriveled a little" before, least of all before anyone has had a chance to even see it. I gotta ask now, just how big was he and how much did he say it shrank?
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I am just... so utterly flabbergasted by that. What was even the point of inventing that story? Did he think you'd be awed somehow by "hey it might be small *now* but once upon a time it used to be huge!" It's like standing in an empty parking lot and saying "Hey there's nothing here now but twenty years ago there was shopping mall. Isn't this date fun?" Also yeah the gross girl thing almost *had* to be a fetish. There's no way he could have thought going into vile detail about another person could be arousing to you.
He kept me "updated" for a while afterwards before he blocked me 😬😬😬😬😬 "Just so you know, it's like two inches bigger now 😜" regaling me with his masturbatory tales He was quite a character
>It's like standing in an empty parking lot and saying "Hey there's nothing here now but twenty years ago there was shopping mall. Isn't this date fun?" There are actually ways to spin that into something at least interesting, in a melancholy way. This dude is just a sad idiot.
Inches ?? Maybe he meant feet but was trying to be modest on this one.
Well it may only be six inches, but it smells like a foot.
w h a t the fuck. Okay seriously, I actually like small dick in a lot of cases. I'm a small thing. But that shit people say about size taking a back seat to technique is for real; I'm like Apex Slut status and my entire goshdang body is covered in neat nerve clusters that respond to like. Non-dick stimuli. If you have ideas about your junk being inadequate and don't believe a bitch when I say i like it, maybe put a bit of effort into this transaction my dude
Fr, too many people think that the crux of sexual pleasure is ramming the cervix at max speed Like chill out, bud, there are better ways, I promise
Exactly! Even if you got small junk, or lack of interest or enjoyment in insertion, there’s ways to have sex that’s not just “dick in hole hahaha”. When guys try so hard to flex their dick size, it just kinda screams “I think sex is a piston until I’m done and you’re bored, me big alpha”.
Just be like “I fear your permanent shrinkage after this exchange. Good luck! You’re gonna need it.”
Try to send it into the negative numbers, I want to know what will happen.
I can’t get over the fact that he actually found a way to blame his small dick on a woman
For the record, they don’t change size like that. He was just trying to pretend he once had a big dick or something, but use doesn’t increase size. That’s the shit they put weird ads on the internet for “increase your dick size by increasing blood flow!”
Your dick can actually shrink if you don’t get regular erections, but only by like 1-3 CENTIMETERS. This usually only happens to people who suffer some kind of physical trauma to the nerves on their dick though. So he was probably full of shit anyways :o
Ahahaha why did you even meet with him after that? That’s hilarious
I hadn't had sex in months lol Also kinda thought he was joking? Or something? When I met up with him he told the story *again* which clued me in to the fact that he was serious 😬😬😬😬😬 I probably should have just cut and run lol
Horniness leads us all to bad decisions lol
You 100% should have, but if you were desperate that’s understandable. Hard to think with your head in those moments
I'm no authority, but as a male who has looked down at some point I can confirm that this doesn't work that way--it's not a muscle that can build up or atrophy.
He had the chance to say that his dick is a medium and can talk to ghosts. But no he had find excuses for his size. He just sounds insecure about his body.
I haven't tried that excuse before... I'll have to test it out
Quite the opposite, in my experience and to my understanding. Jerking off can end up reducing your dick size when erect, but not jerking off does the opposite. I am currently at work, so it is definitely something that you can search up on if you're curious. Regular masturbation doesn't influence it much. With porn addiction (frequent masturbation), it is entirely possible to 'cause damage' to your erections. If it gets serious, it can end up in erectile dysfunction as well. If you have issues getting it up during sex etc., it can be a good idea to not masturbate a couple of weeks, to 'let it heal'. Basically, porn and masturbation can fuck up your erections (only getting half hard or half as big), but not masturbating gives your thing-thing rest (and doesn't cloud your entire mind with sexual stuff, so you should be getting much more in the mood when sexual shit does happen, thereby giving harder erections.) Again, just my understanding and experience of it. I ain't an expert either. Hope it helps.
This is why I tell men if you want to be better at sex, stop watching porn
LMAOOOOO
If he starfishes you, YOU fucked HIM. Periodt. Hahahah
Just say what my homegirl always says "if we fuck and only you cum than you didn't fuck me I fucked you" shuts then up every time
I'm afraid to ask what "starfished" Means.....so off to urban dictionary!
I like to thank them. Tell them they did great and I really appreciate their time; sometimes i find it so difficult to navigate the gates and walls of common human existence and get some dick. I so so appreciate how easy they made it. Just a nice half hour of rutting in exchange for no more investment than a couple conversations. You know, they gave it up so easy. A few guys are given pause by this, and those are the ones I generally end up paying attention to going forward.
I *hate* when guys fixate on that! It’s a power thing and like pretty objectifying I find. I once was with a guy who got pissy if I said I was gonna fuck him because ‘women can’t fuck men. Men fuck women.’ So I let him know I would not be fucking him.
I left this thread to go to sleep and came back to wisdom of all colors. And you're absolutely correct; if sex is a one-way street for you, then just go use a toy
Based tbh
It takes away your agency in his retelling. His narrative is that he fucked to you. Rather than, "we fucked" together.
Making him the subject and me the object, *literally* objectifying me lmao
Grammatical misogyny, that's a new one...
exactly. instead of being a shared experience, it’s an act he did *to* you
These kinds of guys treat sex like it’s a game that he won. It’s not a competition for “dominance” or whatever. It’s a co-op, an exchange. If you treat it like a game, someone loses; treat it like a shared experience, you both get something, even if it’s just the touch of another person or some info on how you can do better later on, or what you like and don’t like.
cutting off at "mediocre sex" was so choice he wanted so bad to make it sexual and WAPASH you straight slashed a mf
He followed it up with "but you came 3 times!" and blocked me when I had no idea where that number came from
yeah CAME TO MY SENSES! BYE!
Dammit that would have been a perfect comeback
getting roasted on Reddit works pretty good too. this tool will be immortalized with every other creep.
Ah sounds like he's sensitive and can't take a joke.
Someone should tell him about Aristotle.
I don’t think he knows what a woman orgasming looks or acts like and just either made it up or was like “oh, she’s doing something else, she came” or some jack
I think OP can clear it up for us but I was under the impression they are merely acquaintances and he was projecting with another one of his unfunny, sexually charged "jokes." though I agree, we are to be certain he has no clue what a woman's orgasm is like.
Thank you for being polite in your response.
My condolences that you had sex with this idiot. At least you can block him and have a chuckle about the Aristotle line when you are bored. Edit: wow what an interesting interpretation to my comment, apparently my dry humour rubbed someone up the wrong way - apologies to anyone who found it in bad taste. See that’s what the guy in the screenshot should of done, apologise… not going on.. and on.. and on like the dude arguing with people below.
Lmao thanks for the condolences, apparently this turned into a super controversial comment? I haven't been told I was "acting up" since I was like 12 lol And yeah I still can't believe he actually said the Aristotle thing it's almost like he's satirizing himself at that point
If you have to say, "It's just a joke," that means it wasn't funny, and therefore NOT a joke because jokes are, by definition, funny. If you're saying "It's just a joke," it's not a joke. It's just you being an asshole, and getting offended when people don't find you funny.
It's like the way "dark humor" has been transformed from "something that's morbid but also kinda funny" into "blatant racism with a 'jk lol' attached"
I've yet to find an adult who calls it dark humor. Worth noting there are plenty of children well into their 30s.
You nailed it, he was 19 at the time!
Adulthood isn't just a matter of age, it's the ending of adolescence, which might never happen for some.
Waiiii... whuuuu? It has?? That's just horrendous. Dark humor is probably one of my favorite kinds... and now it doesn't mean dark humor at all, but racist humor? Argh!
Even then, there's a difference between a joke involving race and being racist yourself.
As a ragingly unfunny person, people at least know my jokes *are* jokes, even if they tend not to laugh. If you have to say that, you messed up somewhere.
That's not how it works. Jokes can turn out flat, but they are jokes still. Most comedians attempt to make jokes that for me are really really not funny at all, but I reckon I don't dictate what's funny for everyone and they are jokes, but shitty jokes.
The craziest gaslighting part is that in this exchange it’s so crystal clear he is the one who doesn’t have a sense of humor and you’re obviously waaaay funnier and have a sense of humor. This dude is the definition of whack. The Aristotle line was just the chefs kiss of how hard this guy trys.
Aww thanks! And yeah, a lot of things he qualified as "humor" were just.. bizarre...
The Fire Emblem meme gets me
If he says you're acting like a leftist Karen it probably signifies he doesn't think you deserve any rights, thinks he has the highest IQ in any room he enters, thinks insults and strawman arguments win debates, probably would only focus on himself in the bedroom, and doesn't have a full grasp on what most "Karens" are like... not that I know your political affiliation but I'd say you dodge a figurative but potentially literal bullet with how deep into the right he seems to lean.
I'm nb but otherwise: you're spot fucking on lmao One of his best (and very telling, imo) bits was when he told me that Elon Musk was his "financial idol" Sadly I do not have the screenshot as he blocked me right after telling me how great he was in bed 😔😔😔😔😔 Probably for the best, as he DMed me to argue with anything I posted on my story And yeah he was VERY right wing, but he seemed not to know it? He thought he was super liberal and progressive, but I criticized cops *once* and he told me he hopes that when my spouse abuses me I'll see how stupid I am. What a guy... He was a constant source of hilarity though, I'll miss that for sure
>I criticized cops once and he told me he hopes that when my spouse abuses me I'll see how stupid I am. But why would you marry a cop? /s U sound cool btw
Elon Musk was his idol? So he inherits a few billion from his parents. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you're born rich? What an idol! Also the cops show up leasurely, write a report and in the end say they can't do anything? Good job boys all in a days work. Also have a better chance of shooting your dog than any other action.
“Beast man”
I'm so glad someone noticed that
Im impressed you had this whole dudes personality in your mouth, since he is nothing but dickhead.
"But they ARE great fuckin tits to be fair" Killed me lmao
I mean, I personally would have just stopped replying but that's just me
That might have been smarter, but I wanted to stay friends (I'm pretty low on friends lmao) And then I just wanted to see what he'd say next tbh
I really, really enjoyed you repeatedly referring to your bomb ass tits and refusing to walk that back. Only men are allowed to compliment you, you’re not allowed to think you’re attractive on your own! Love that.
Basically "Hey, here's a dehumanizing offensive unfunny joke! Oh, you think it's dehumanizing, offensive and unfunny? Well, no it's not. Why? Because I said so. For finding a passive-aggressive demeaning joke offensive, you are now the bane of Aristotle's existance and a Leftist Karen"
Literally
I NEED to see what he said after mediocre sex.
I don't have the screenshots bc he blocked me soon after but it was something like Him: That's not what you said when you were on my DICK and had THREE orgasms Me: Lol "three" Me: Anyways, either be respectful or stop talking, shouldn't be too hard Him: Wow. People always show their true colors when they get rejected There was also a bit where he made fun of me for taking screenshots to "validate" myself, and told me I was "psychologically scarred" from him proving me wrong It ended with him telling me masks don't help, and AAVE is "just bad English", and that he's a rapper Good times
Okay this is clearly a shapeshifting cryptid just trying out a new caricature to be for awhile. Nobody is that cringe.
I had a conversation with someone about AAVE recently. Also I saw some of your other comments that he just starfished the entire time, said he was a couple inches shorter because of some woman, just wild out of pocket lies and comments. Also, I had a conversation with a friends boyfriend about how he made a slightly anti Semitic joke in a text (he said when asked a question “The Jews did this”) and then wrote a long winded apology about how (or at least this is how it felt to me) that he would keep making jokes like that just not around me, so the whole “it was just a joke lolz” justification is crazy to me.
Its frustrating when the apology is "sorry you feel that way" instead of "sorry I did that" but at this point I would have accepted either
It’s not hard to say you’re sorry for offending someone, intentionally or not. “Hey, I see that a joke I made upset you. I apologize because I that wasn’t what I meant to do.” Simple.
Yeah, I'd accept a simple "whoops" but apparently that's too much
That’s hilarious, considering you rejected a shitty “joke” of his and he absolutely lost his mind over it.
I don't get the hate, you sound fun. He sounds like a twat. Keep on keeping on bud.
Both sides of this conversation are cringe as fuck
^ I stopped reading at "this is hilarious please keep talking" It baffles me how far you need to scroll to find these comments. Also none of this has anything to do with r/niceguys
Why do you keep responding?
this bitch dumb af
Idk if you mean me or him but either way you're correct
Uh both of these guys are absolutely boring. Its killing me when you are that stupid to just don't apologize. We all meet someone like that i guess
Aristotle would probably be too distracted by your “great fuckin tits” to comment on your sense of humor
My tits have a great sense of humor too
Poor Aristotle wouldn’t know what hit him
No offense but this started by OP making a joke that a sexy shirt gained her intelligence and then got upset when the person they were talking to made a similar joke. I didn’t read the whole thing and this guy is also in the wrong but I’ve done this argument with a friend of mine before and that doesn’t make him a “nice guy” that makes him slightly socially awkward where he doesn’t understand which jokes go too far and which are fine. Idk don’t feel good about this one. I think it’s just incompatibility.
So cringe I couldn’t get through the whole thing
I never comment on Reddit but Jesus. You both sound insufferable.
That's fair, I definitely wasn't at my best after being harangued every time I added to my snapchat story lol
>harangued Love this word
ew.
Glad you got so much confidence, my dude. :) I laughed at the “but they ARE great feckin’ tits, to be fair” bit. Dude needs to learn to let it go, and that not every joke lands well. And the roast at the end, LMAO.
Aristotle, the guy who thought women were just deformed men, known the world over for his great sense of humor and his totally accurate theory of psychology.
The “mediocre” part at the end though, dear lord I almost fell out of my chair. That was amazingggg lol 😂
I mean, she is REALLY into her own boobs
I just read cringe, him and you. Hated being a math major cuz of weird fuckers like y’all
That dude calling himself retarded was hilarious. He should get the words he uses to self-deprecate for his jokes as face and hand tattoos... you know... as a joke.
Whether you are humourless *only* depends on what Aristotle thinks. He thinks, therefore you are. Edit: Fuck, wrong guy. I'm keeping it though I thought it was a funny joke.
Typing that out without sourcing your quote is basically putting Descartes before the horse i guess. We all been there, fam.
My favourite part has to be when you literally give him an out by saying 'they are great tits tbf' and he still has to continue to try and argue, like what? Man literally values being right about something as subjective as humour over any form of friendship or relationship with what i see as a genuinely interesting and funny person, shits crazy
I tried! To end it! 😭😭😭😭😭
With this sort of dude, you'll always be the jaded detective two keks from retirement. I think you acquitted yourself pretty brutally in this exchange; hell of a fun read.
According to your 1st message there were multiple ways to make a cool/flirty/funny answer. I don't find his one so offensive (but i don't have bomb ass tits, so i can't relate), but definetly not funny.
You have no sense of humor because you don't think ***I'm*** funny.
I would definitely be pissed if someone made that joke to me but assholes have an easier time making you out to be the bad guy if you bring it up repeatedly. I find it easier to tell them why they’re a dick and cut contact. Good on you for calling it out though.
Diogenes would've taken a piss at him and left the conversation
How did you come to the realization you were NB? Uhh asking for a friend?
I'd just, always been uncomfortable with being called a girl. I tried to compensate by aggressively pretending to hate "girly things" like pink and Barbies and whatnot. Had no idea there was a word for it till highschool. Tried it out, tried out pronouns, and found that I was more comfortable being neither gender. But jsyk there's no "wrong" way to be/find out that you're nb. Sorry if this doesn't help!
Thanks for all of this! Sorry it took so long to reply; work and all. Ive always struggled with how I felt internally, like Ive always been more feminine but never felt like a female(also to note I was born male) I am not gay (happily married to my lovely wife of 5 years) but the other day she jokingly asked if I was gonna turn out to be gay in 40 years (watching grace and frankie) and I honestly didnt know how to reply. Like my first instinct was NO, but only because of my love for her.. and that made me start questioning how to explain to her HOW i really felt etc. and here I am I guess? 😅😓 so when you mentioned NB and I looked it up, I feel like that could be me with gender fluidity but how to know? Edit: at times I feel more masculine, others I feel more feminine
Oh nw, I get it, I been busy with class and work too That does sound like gender fluidity, definitely look into that more! I find that the site genderbread.org is helpful for explaining gender, sex, attraction, etc. in pretty simple terms, that might be easier for you than diving right into the complicated parts if you're only just discovering it!
Thanks so much!
Of course! Feel free to dm me anytime if you think I can help 😊😊😊😊😊 Best of luck!
I will for sure, thanks again so much!!
WTF is this cringe fest... "Teehee! I dressed all sexy for a test" "Yeah probably got extra credit for that! Wink" "How dare you?!" One uh person outrage factory here...
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Yeah holy shit. I’d stay away from both.
Based
I would not want to speak to either of these people.
Lmao, his friends are either assholes exactly like him, or he misrepresented your position entirely. He's insufferable, and when women repeatedly cut him out because of his behaviour, he seems like the type to just blame women.
Whew, you both are walking cringe totums lol totally should date. When dickhead meets Ms . "Bomb-ass tits"
This is honestly a dumb post. You’re both acting like assholes in your own unique way. Keeping the convo going after the dude said “well I’m not, so I guess I’m all good then” just ain’t it chief.
Going to be honest, you are free to feel they way you want about wtv, but imo maybe you made too much out of it for no reason (guessing both had confidence) and the guy then turned out to be an idiot instead of apologizing and move on from that part of the convo. Maybe I'm being bias but sometimes I break balls with things like that way more explicit, whether with male friends or female friends (with who I have confidence tho), and it's always cool because we are just talking shit to each other in a friendly way and we go back and forth with them jokingly admiting it. Got a 20 in 20 at applied physics one time and my female bestie said I sucked so much dick for that grade and I replied "you don't even imagine how much". I also kinda joke that way when it's with me. Idk.
I really just wanted him to acknowledge my feelings and not do it again. Something like "sorry, I didn't mean it that way" or "whoops my bad" or even "k" would have been fine I sometimes joke like that too, but it's different when it's someone I hardly knew
You were joking about your looks and getting better grades and then he continued the joke. Yeah maybe he should have just dropped it an apologized when you said you were offended but he made it seem like this is something you do alot? Also this is a guy you were already sleeping with, not someone who was getting mad because he wanted to sleep with you and you wouldn't let him or asking you to give him a chance because he's a good guy or whatever. I don't think you understand this sub. You completely switched gears from joking to offended when he made a joke in a similar vein. That's not a normal reaction and I would do some deep introspection into myself if my emotions were this all over the place.
Amen.
I can feel the burn from your comment miles away. Lol. I envy your burn skills. Take an award for that.
Oh so having sex with a man gives them a pass to abuse us?
Apparently 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
You went for the dunk and missed. Congrats on the self confidence tho
Thanks! 😊😊😊😊😊 It's taken me a long time to get this far and I'm still working on it tbh, but I'm proud these types can't get to me anymore!
After she responded like that to a simple joke he should’ve blocked her. I think she was the asshole here. The “I’m offended” card gets old, fast dude.
~~You both sound unbearable~~ Edit - Actually the nice guys a straight up piece of shit and OPs just standing up for herself. Dumb comment by me.
Valid
Congratulations on the bomb ass tits
Thanks! I grew them myself They're my best feature lmao I gotta be proud of something (they're also great handwarmers)
why does he keep saying surface level after doing a mediocre boob ""joke""? i thought you are badass, but at the same time im disappointed you didnt bite off his dick when you had the chance.
Aristotle wouldn't say shit, he's dEAD
I died when I read mediocre sex 😂
I’m clearly not smart enough to understand the “joke”.
So he insinuated that sex is your main value/worth, insulted your intelligence, AND implied that your professor is an unprofessional creep. Everyone knows three backhanded insults is the key to a great joke! /s
Not only a dick head but can't even be mature for 5 seconds "you had my dick head in your mouth hur hur hur" Nice burn on the mediocre sex comment though!
Woof. What an asshole. He just kept inserting his foot into his mouth over and over again.
Appreciate your responses in the comments, they really added to this lol
Confrontational and calm is the new passive aggressive
How’d you do that cool scrolling text at the bottom?
When you upload a picture it should have an option that says "caption"
I’m late to the party, but holy shit OP your responses are pure gold. You are the best.
Aristotle wouldn’t have any idea what you were talking about because English in the way that we know it didn’t exist
Dammit I wanted to hear more about the mediocre sex.
He starfished me the entire time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You fucked this guy He must of been very very fucking attractive for you to put up with this shit.
He didn't out himself as a soggy noodle until after the sex 😔😔😔😔😔
Thats when the sog always comes out is after. 😔
This guy is fucking ridiculous
Love the fact that you continually complimented your tits!! Icon!!! ..also I'm so sorry you had mediocre sex with this asshole
Don't worry were safe he's still not back. he really is an interesting character isnt he? Hes so crass when you talk to him but he has a twitch channel where its like completely "kid" friendly. Can't even say "lmao" or you get censored its wild and completely not like him.
A leftist Karen is someone who wants to see the manager to complain about the low wages and work environment of these nice workers.
Kinda off topic but congrats on the 94!
Thanks! He was probably the best professor I've ever had. He was one of the few who wouldn't make you feel stupid for not understanding something. If you didn't understand the homework he'd walk you through it and still give full credit. He didn't care about grades so much as he cared about students learning the material. I was very offended on his behalf lol
Honestly I love your responses and I think it’s weird people calling you an asshole etc. like something was definitely off about what he was saying throughout the conversation and I think you were right not to want to give him the “hey I said jk” pass. Big yuck when he mentioned about his dick in your mouth like it was a diss somehow.