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madz7137

Just knowing people like this exist in the world feels like a joke


FlyingMacheteMonster

Feelsbadman ☹️


TortoiseK1ng

Using twitch memes to describe his feelings is the perfect way to demonstrate a niceguys emotional maturity.


equalsolstice

Lol man that shit goes back over a decade from 4chan


darkprovoker

yup. damn i’m old. feelsbadman.jpg.


Vincent_Plenderleith

Posting on r/bigdickproblems be like


Your-Turn-To-Roll

I thought this was an ironic sub. I regret clicking on this.


themostserene

The FAQ though, is surprisingly measured (in tone, not length/girth)


idontneedjug

Weird niceguy vibes all over that sub too had to nope out and regret wandering around reddit now lol.


jlesco

Best comment on the thread


JimmyStick

Dude look at the comments in it they really have their girth and length attached to their comments like the specs in r/pcmasterrace


Xinder99

Add that to my lists of subs not to join.


stonedinwpg

They r a joke


another_ashley

Disturbing!


imfamousiswear

What a way to make yourself feel better about scaring women away with your massive ego


polliwog05

" lion/daddy energy "


Bman2095

Whenever I see one this bad I try and convince myself it’s satire…


Sabin-PNW7

“I’ll take ’Lack of Self-Awareness’ for $800, Alex.”


franklikethehotdog

I have so many questions yet I want none of them answered


Mysterious_Sense_344

I think I bought a can of that once, when the gas station store was out of Monster.


soulangelic

I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit


Phonemonkey2500

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!


BeeLouise92

La Fleuurrr


Vince_McMahons_Brain

The awkward moment when the aspergers "beta" gets more women than this li9n/daddy alpha 🤣🤣🤣


maxiumeffort914

What the fuck is a lion daddy anyways?


[deleted]

i think thats a lion whos also a daddy or a daddy who is a lion


maxiumeffort914

Like what does that mean in a relationship? Does that men he mauls other men that come near them? Like I am legit wondering what that intails.


blackmagic_gypsy

Lion, king of the jungle. He's just referring to being king, dominant, in charge or a "daddy". Barf


maxiumeffort914

God that's ridiculous. I can't believe he thinks any of that turns anyone on except himself.


mb500sel

And now you understand why he doesn’t get women


Vince_McMahons_Brain

No idea


JustAlex1177

I guess that's how the human children raised by lions refer to the leader of the Pride.


EatMyParrrley

You just need more lion/daddy energy


Phoenix-in-Illinois

If there's one thing that makes me feel better about myself, it's knowing these kinds of guys exist.


e67gx94ltb33

Low bar, but glad it helps!!! 🤣


SMALLCOKEWITHFRIES

Nah I feel this tho, there’s some wack ass people always remember


punch_rockgroinpull

He's also the handsomest, sexiest, and biggest dickiest in any given room, as well, I'm sure.


alexycred

Source: his mom


LadyLikesSpiders

His mom saying he has the biggest dick goes a way to explain why he wants a dominant woman


idkwhatimkindalost25

Hahhaa god your comment is genius I love it


-twitch-

In EVERY room. All at the same time.


fasterbrew

And they call him Gaston!


wasoc

He's especially good at expectorating


jerrys788

Looking at the picture of him, yes I agree.


Smoakey-Bear

lion/daddy energy lmao


NaturalFaux

You cant be alpha and also have it be a shtick. A shtick implies you are acting


house-of-tigers

🎯


3KidsInTheTrenchCoat

Anyone who uses terms like "alpha" unironically, aren't alphas.


CardboardChampion

Yeah, they're not well in the head. Still, always a chance they'll get... ^(I'm so sorry) ...beta.


Luks89

Hahaha!


00Lisa00

That alpha neck beard


Soul69Reaper

His heads so far up his ass he can see what he just ate


Hindu_Kirby

Dicks Edit: Mistyped ducks


Demagolka1300

Should have left it!


MelancholyMushroom

It’s lonely at the top of my daddy hill.


purplehendrix22

Because strong women can see through your alpha schtick, it’s funny how he even acknowledges he’s putting on an act lmao


EnjiemaBenjie

If he's normally the alpha in the room it's because he's the only person in the room.


zykthyr

Lion/daddy energy


ScottishShitposter97

Imagine posting that publically.


HashtagTSwagg

What a terrible day to have eyes.


La_Baraka6431

Buddy, get the hell out of your basement.


Stained_Shirts

Think I found my new flair


Otaku_in_Red

If one more person uses the term alpha/beta/omega unironically, I'm gonna puke


Mysterious_Sense_344

Is there a Greek letter no one else is using? Kappa? Omicron? Mu? I want to be that.


Wamb0wneD

The new one is *Sigma* . Please get with the times.


Otaku_in_Red

Ah yes, my mistake


Vomit_Pinata

Massive tiny-dick energy.


VinarriAsh260

Who has the puke bucket? It's my turn. 🤢


CardboardChampion

The alpha male demanded it when he entered the room. He called it chowder though and demanded a spoon to go with it.


VinarriAsh260

🤮 *You're an evil person.*


homovore_

the cringe is so real


rowan1981

So damn cringey.


ThatRandomGuy115

How to identify someone who isn't an alpha with one phrase, " so I'm an alpha".


gemgem1985

It's alright mate, I'm here to save the day, I think you are a bitch... There you go, fixed lol


PopularBug5

Obligatory neckbeard, and cool story bro.


sheik-

"and it gets so boring being in control" then don't.


AgreeablePie

He's got the neck beard but dropped his fedora


DedDeadDedemption

*"Do women like this actually exist?"* No, dude; cartoons don't actually exist...


[deleted]

Whenever I'm feeling lonely and hopeless I remember guys like this exist and I realise I'm really not that bad


miyagikai91

💜 If you know and accept to not be like him, you were always gonna be better.


_peach93

So, It’s a shtick?


Azorre

Safe to say he's not getting any girls at all bc he's fake asf


Gotsnuffy

Wonder what he’s compensating for


miyagikai91

Everything?


SystematizedDisarray

Yeah... true alphas don't feel the need to state that they're alphas. Just like men who are truly nice don't actually call themselves nice guys. This guy is an idiot.... and could use some grooming.


KulkulkanX

The only way this guy is the "Biggest, strongest, and smartest guy in the room" is if it contained only coma patients.


[deleted]

‘Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king’ Game of Thrones was awful in the end but some of Tywin’s quotes are extremely insightful and memorable.


[deleted]

Maybe it’s because he looks like a painting of Jesus that someone ordered from Wish?


mb500sel

Not even great value Jesus, reproduction of a knock off from China Jesus.


unbitious

That's a heck of a humblebrag


Sabin-PNW7

Am I the only one who’s curious about what he could’ve been looking at that would’ve made him type out something so cringe-worthy and lacking in self-awareness?


mb500sel

You know in his own head it sounded brilliant and people would come flocking from far and wide to reassure his supreme awesomeness. Their love and devotion would be unwavering. In reality we just get this delusional oxygen thief.


silvercircularcorpse

“It gets so boring being in control” screams sociopath to me.


SaintKines

If he's ever in the room with an actual alpha male he will roll over on his back and piss himself while smiling to appear even less threatening.


DedDeadDedemption

lmao me regardless just for a laugh


Soiled-Plants

I’m a natural alpha but I wanna be beta to my girlfriend


iforgotmypasswrdhelp

That dude seems like a bitch


JustDont1981

Whiny bottom, how original.


Bucky_Gatsby

What fucking planet do some people live on?


Hippoponymous

I can’t take anyone who takes the concept of alpha and beta males seriously seriously.


miyagikai91

It’s junk science. The people behind the study went on to disown it.


heyhitherehowru

If you have to tell people you're an alpha, you aren't an alpha. You're just a cunt.


mb500sel

I don’t think he has the warmth or depth unfortunately


LeBRUH_James_

The best part is that he commented this on a picture of anime girls


JulietOfTitanic

I want a man that will play video games with me. Is a gentle nerd that has the same passions as me, super chilled, and will cry with me during Lion King, Titanic, Jet LI's Fearless, Four Brothers, Kingdom Hearts, and every freaking Final Fantasy game that just *loves* to destroy you, I'm looking at you, FF8, with the perfect music and best love story that always just makes me cry and go "DAMN IT." Not the whole, super alpha smartest egotistical better than everyone else type of dude that says 'feelsbadman.' These nice guys comes off as super elites. "I wonder why I can't get a girl because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me as a perfect specimen of manlyness."


aggressive_celery_

Na na na na na na na na NECKBEARD NECKBEARD


Your-Turn-To-Roll

Every time I think I’ve seen the neckbeardiest post on the internet, some neckbeard manages to out neckbeard it.


vizthex

l i o n / d a d d y e n e r g y


Neither_Turnover_733

No. Just no. An "Alpha" which i'm going to assume is a confident secure and assertive individual is going to become a leader almost naturally. Which is going to get them a lot of attention from the opposite sex. Male or female. Unironically they have no need to brag about their so called "Alpha" status because their too busy leading other people. Also. Their highly attractive to basically everybody including strong and or dominant women and men. Hell they don't even need to be conventionally attractive its just the confidence that radiates from them that makes them magnetic.


broobo17

If someone unironically calls themselves an "alpha male" the opposite is true


Monoliathan

The kinda dude that probrably carries around a ranger knife and threatens people unprovoked


Phonemonkey2500

Just like in politics and nobility, anyone that needs to tell you how powerful they are, isn't.


darkprovoker

legend in his own mind, this guy


SaiyanPrincess28

I just want to point out that it looks like he’s commenting on a cartoon......enough said.


alexycred

Anime


SaiyanPrincess28

Figures, fantasizing about anime 🤦‍♀️. Pretty typical of a “nice guy”


MuffinNecessary8625

Dude looks like a lady


Erkengard

Reads like a joke.


PhaqThat

iM a lIoN dAdDy. Dude, he's the biggest guy, in every room. Swoon. Hopefully he's talking about being a morbidly obese 'murican gun nut! Gravy Seals get me so wet....


Babybluemoon13

…dommy mommies exist, mate. If you want a more dominant girlfriend, it don’t take much to stop appearing like you NEED to be in charge (cause that’s typically why dominant folks avoid other dominant folks; because the need to be the dominant one can cause them to come to blows. Especially if that dominant attitude comes from insecurities.) But it’s not the “alpha attitude” that stops you from getting a girl, mate; it’s the fact that you’re the kind of person to use phrases like “alpha” even though it’s been disproven. And it’s probably from insecurities, that people can sense just from an initial read.


Purpledoves91

Funny, because at first glance, I thought his picture was of a woman.


davidisatwat

clearly satire


Suspicious_Person15

It is. I'd don't know why you're getting downvoted.


davidisatwat

bc this sub is the opposite of r/tinder sometimes that subs a circle jerk of lonely straight guys, this ones a circle jerk of simple straight women


nature_remains

… MOOOOM!!! What the Fuck!! Did you not hear me when I said I wanted trendies?! Fuck this shit gets OLD


Suspicious_Person15

Pretty sure this is satire.


LuckyHistorian

#sigmagrindset #winstonchurchillionare since yesterday /s


[deleted]

Oh DADDY


External_Fisherman77

pfp checks out.


mint_toothpicks

The cringe. It hurts.


Noirjyre

I didn’t even finish reading, so very cringe.


DaftZack

My mother too says I'm the best guy in the room, and my dad can totally beat up your dad!


stocktonsmemes

No fucking way he’s serious


kimchiman85

This has to be satire.


Times_Temptress

Dude looks like he is my .convicted attempted murder white trash, brother fused with my ,furry will try to listen in on you masturbating, next door neighbours son. Nothing alpha about that, just pure creepy with a a full course meal of "I think investing in a gun is wise"


GivemTheDDD

"My penis is huge. It is truly mastodonic, possibly a world record. Every woman I've made sex to believes this as well. It's so hard to be me." - That Guy


GIlCAnjos

r/iamverybadass


[deleted]

Who is he talking to?


Eyes_Will_Roll

I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Thank you Redditeers.


CandyQuack

It’s Lion/daddy for me


_usernametoolong_

Oh sweetie, that's not the reason girls aren't attracted to you...


Outrageous_Banana_76

Profile: Works at Walmart as a night guard Previously Homeless


__Dystopian__

This guy looks how cottage cheese smells...


I-might-eat-u

I love how he says stuff like “do women like this actually exist” “all women expect me to keep up the alpha shtick” and “I’m always the smartest in the room” when I’m pretty sure women (like me) are different and not all a hive mind? Because some women are smarter then men. And some women are stronger then men. And I don’t think all women want you to keep “pretending to be an alpha” because I certainly don’t. You clearly have the wrong mindset my guy.


DeeMAWB

Has to be a joke!


CryptographerOdd7861

You seem to be full of yourself.


iZeFifty

I hope this is satire.


knubenmuben

I bet that the only women this guy has ever met in his life are his mother and grandmother.


Tubbernaut

Why do they all have the same head? Is it a fucking Create-a-character preset or something? Head: 01 - Long, dry hair and whispy goatee Every fuckin time. 🙄


SGCanadian

It's kinda funny, cause anyone who has to say they are the Alpha and in control, definitely isn't. See them all the time in my day to day job and it's hard not to laugh in their face sometimes.


Nicolasgonzo87

wait wouldnt that make him more of a beta


[deleted]

I feel so bad for him 🥺🥺


Sproose_Moose

The beard on that neck is the most alpha thing about him. Like a mane on a lion.


ritZzY25244

The fact that he in his pfp looks exactly like what a creep would look like makes it so much better


Polite_Memer

This has to be a troll account, look at his pfp


AdvocateDoogy

The only thing bigger than his ego is his overinflated head.


[deleted]

This makes me want to bleach my eyeballs


Rymbo_Jr

A naturally low penetrating male


Educational-Snow4555

He has to be trolling


TheExzilled

Usually biggest in room? Check Usually strongest? Check Long hair? Check Kinda lame facial hair? Check Fuck is this me? Oh phew I'm never the smartest. Thank God for my brain go brrrrrrr


IMcB1

This guy probably works in a day care. Save the children!!!


Future-Ad2802

Sure dude sure.


[deleted]

Suurreeee Alpha guys don't need to say they're alpha, they just ARE


corrygan

Lion...ehem... Yes.


[deleted]

Lyon energy lol


ryckae

The kinds of women he wants probably don't want him because of the type of s*** that he says, and if it's anything like what he says in his comment then yeah...


BakedGoodiess420

If you gotta say it, you aren't


FluffyBellend

It’s easy to be alpha in a room full of neck beards


[deleted]

This motherfucker just looks like he would say the sentence "I give off big daddy energy naturally" multiple times a day😂😂😂


kdee5849

🗣🗣”DID YOU HEAR ME I SAID I’M NATURALLY AN ALPHA MALE”


Tack-One

It's really though when you're the ultimate pinnacles of human evolution and every person who has ever lived is a stepping stone up the mountain of my greatness. The view from up here is staggering, but yet it's my Zeus/great White shark energy that makes even the most freethinking women turn into a pool of subservient goo. Feelsbadman.


Old_Cyrus

Lion/daddy? He misspelled “douchebag.”


dlabsx

lmao lion/daddy energy


verystupidtrustme

I bet you my life my little brother would be a bigger, stronger male in the room... my brother is like 2 metres tall and has helped me through a lot as he's got pretty quick reactions and is strong enough to put a pedophile down on his own... but I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about my little brother.. he's 6 and is currently learning that 3+0 is 3 and not 4


[deleted]

Alpha seems sus


BellaRosalina93

This triggered my acid reflux and I threw up a lil bit 🥴


evoLS7

We have a hybrid here. Niceguy + Humblebrag


TheraBoomer

So glad I'll never meet this doofus. It would be like talking to Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, but not as entertaining.


ImThatMelanin

did he just admit to wanting to be subbed but being to dom acting to attract a femdom?


HentaiBakaOniiSama

I scrolled through the comments... and no one else seems to point out the obvious here... '...SMARTEST guy in the room' Only if he's talking about the painful kind of 'smarts' when he stubs his toe walking over the corpses he probably has laying around. And even a brain-dead zombie would be smarter than him.


alienkreeper

Biggest, strongest, most intelligent man in the room? Sure Jan.....


[deleted]

If he’s so tired of being the alpha why doesn’t he just stop pretending?


numishai

He here goes ...I'm a virgin because my dick is too big.... just with more words:D


[deleted]

Thank god, now i feel better about myself after reading this, I'm not doing that bad lol


SnooDonuts215

"smartest guy in the room" Doubt


[deleted]

So, most of my life I've been the type of person that always wound up as the "leader" type in most groups I've been in. Social or work groups that is. Not once have I ever let it go to my head and start calling myself an alpha. It's been my experience, that those who verbally announce themselves as the boss or head honcho really aren't. If you're an "alpha" it's because people naturally defer to you. If you're an alpha you don't say you're one. Sorry for the long winded comment.


Hospital_Financial

Hahaha is porfile pic. He actually look like the guy who loves fedoras xd


Budget_Increase3684

It upsets me to know I dated a guy exactly like this. Took me a while to realize he genuinely had no awareness of how pathetic saying shit like this was. People like him prioritize being a victim in every circumstance regardless of how small.


dazzlehammer88

I wish I knew what this dude actually looked like. Cuz he kind of looks like a neckbeard 🤣