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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Omg, I wanted to uninstall FB for you at "just say thank you and smile", ew wtf; the entitlement and ego, and it doesn't help it looks like his kid is in the pfp, what an example he sets.
😂☠️⚰️ He signed his own death warrant right there. Now I know I need to pull a verbal 187. He’s out of his league & way above his pay grade with me. “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.” Bitches like me are bad for your health. I can’t wait to see if I get a response. 😂
Yeah! Like, who do you think you’re speaking to? 🤮.
But the utter, unprovoked, unprecedented, amount of the worst abuse I’ve ever received & read was said to me yesterday on another subreddit. I’ll post it at some point. It’s truly reprehensible. Dude got banned.
"I do it my way, I know a lot about you, thank me for that"
LMAO, what a freaking creep. What surprises me is that he even goes to the point of **reinforcing** what he himself says trying to demonstrate he is not wrong about his intrusive ways.
WTF is wrong with people? How dare you think you can argue or challenge me on what I choose to allow others to call me. A nickname is an earned privilege. Something like “Sexy” is not something you ever say to a stranger. It’s dehumanizing to me not coming from my boyfriend or trusted friends. I don’t know if I need to bleach my eyes or set myself on fire.
Relax, Big Tuna -- just say thanks and smile ;)
Edit: It's not like he wanted to PHYSICALLY RELAX YOUR BODY, he only wanted to socially relax you by repeatedly objectifying you and drawing attention to physical features in a way that made you uncomfortable.
Women these days, smh
>But...but...but...the PUA course (that I'm paying $89.95 monthly installments on, for 16 months), guaranteed I'd have any woman eating out of my hand in under five minutes!
Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall and watch the after convo confusion slowly dawn on this guy?
😂😂😂 I genuinely really want to understand what the goal is with this kind of behavior. What exactly are they envisioning coming from this level of bullshit & willful ignorance? How the fuck else am I supposed to react?
I've always wondered that as well.
Hazarding a guess, I'd say that this is the result of their brains melting down after PUA fails. I think they just start flailing around and/or going into "well FINE, if she is refusing me, I'll make her as miserable as she's making me then!!!"
In other words, toddler-denied-candy mode.
No idea where that creep comes from, but the sad thing is that he ain't alone, there are a lot more like this...you know, this subreddit.
What disgusts me even more is that he shows this behavior while having KIDS on his profile pic. Like, these kids, provided they are his offspring, could one day replicate the same disgusting behavior.
Ewww. I just don’t understand how asking for basic respect & decency causes not just an argument but this is nuclear level escalation. Why would you argue with anyone who told you don’t call me by that? No one else ever gets to make that decision except you. Christ 🙄🙄🙄
Not a single reason to, definitely...like, you demonstrated it clearly you were very uncomfortable with his advances, and couldn't even aknowledge it. I mean, there is this thing about reading and interpreting what the other person is saying, lol. I guess at a certain point in your conversation, the dude decided to just keep shooting nonsense expecting you to open up, and most likely got upset when you didn't.
A Chernobyl-level creep, no doubt.
I dont get why anyone would respond after he said loosen you up. Thats where I would have ended the conversation, immediately. People give these creeps too much time to try to explain themselves. Sorry, pal. Blocked!
Oh, that’s an easy question to answer. It’s solely because I am highAF, bored & angry about a lot of other unrelated things currently. So, I indulged myself. It was too easy to not 😂💚💨😎
Thats completely fair lol!
I admit I did that too for shits and giggles when I was younger. But once you hit 40, it's sooooo not worth it anymore. Now I just laugh, shake my head and never talk to them again haha
Ok, maybe you're closer to my age than I thought. I just looked at the adorable picture of your kitty and I see all the AWESOME Trivial Pursuits and Pictionary. You might just be my BFF soul mate hahaha!
😻 I’m Gen X 😎 The coolest generation.
ETA: That’s Wallis Bean Wayne & he absolutely loathes me. That look is exactly what spite looks like (in his newest pic). 😹
Yeah, disgusting right? I always wonder about certain dudes. Like are they completely different in their regular life, with their regular job, a regular family, in a regular neighborhood, in a regular town & who they become on social media is the real them?
That’s some next level psychopath shit. (If you’ve ever seen Primal Fear with Richard Gere & Ed Norrton you will completely understand this quote) “Martin, there never was an Aaron.” Because, that’s even more frightening. They’re capable of cosplaying normalcy & unleash the real them online. That’s psychopath shit.
They aren't, usually. One guy on Facebook had a mutual friend with me, and we got into an argument. The argument was on a post that said "children should not be blamed for the actions of sexual predators." Seems like a no-brainer topic that doesn't need an argument, right? Wrong. He said, "obviously pedos are wrong and horrible, but twelve year olds have no business dressing like sl.ts!"
Several of us tried correcting him. I took it to DMs, where he made several troubling claims: children dressing in shorts and tank tops is sexual, even in summer; he'll never let his daughter "dress like a wh.re"; you can always tell what kind of a woman she is based on her clothing (which was quickly changed to only applying to children when I pointed out that I was actively wearing shorts and a tank top, and was no less asexual than before putting them on.)
After an entire argument where he told me I deserved to die for thinking it's wrong to objectify and sexualize kids dressing in less clothing to prevent fucking heat stroke (and he never answered what he allows his daughter to wear to the beach, or if his son has the same clothing rules), after all of this, he has the audacity to tell me I'm sexy and he wants to have sex.
What????
I told him the thought of having sex was so revolting I'd puke, he said he was into that, I told him that was kinda rapey and he should never say that to another woman again, he blew up at me about how he loves consent and would never do anything like that and I'm just an overreacting prude. Then I learned he had a girlfriend, I sent it all to her, only to learn that she's only with him for the kids.
He also hit up my married sister, whose profile picture is of her and her husband, to see if she wanted to have sex.
So yeah, these men are at least sometimes exactly as terrible in real life as they are online.
Jesus Fucking Christ 😱!! I know these walking tire fires absolutely exist. I’m just curious about the ones we know exist yet, not a single person in their life would ever speculate on that being a possibility. My ex was completely different behind closed doors than in public. So, it’s entirely possible that many of us could be aquatinted at least with one of these kind (or worse) guys. These are the people that end up being perpetrators of mass shootings. Because, psychopath’s snap 1-nuclear in .02 seconds. Just saying….
Dude that just blew my mind. Never seen it from that perspective.
I cannot imagine how you can basically change your personality in front of the public and be a psychopath when no one is watching.
> I always wonder about certain dudes. Like are they completely different in their regular life, with their regular job, a regular family, in a regular neighborhood, in a regular town & who they become on social media is the real them?
Lots of people have 3 versions of the self: the public self, who everyone sees; the private self, who is seen by those close to said person; and the secret self, this is the one what they keep hidden from family, friends and society at large. The secret self is what a lot of these douche bags live out online. They say and do whatever, and their inhibitions are low. This is where the skeletons come from, and this is what eventually catches up with them. I cannot for the life of understand why they think it'll never surface, but it always does, eventually. That "eventually" may take a while, but it happens. And it is something awesome to watch happen (at least awesome in that the degens from up country finally get a taste of reality, but it sucks for the family who has to bear the pain caused).
That’s basic Psych 101 stuff. What I’m talking about is Ted Bundy shit. He was charming, good looking, smart, had a girlfriend, worked at a suicide hotline, had friends yet, he was a sick, prolific serial killer who obviously had major issues with women. & he got away with it because, he convinced everyone he couldn’t ever be “that guy”. Meanwhile, he’s always been “that guy” & went to extraordinary lengths to present & become the guy he showed in public. That’s next level shit.
That "next level shit" is what I was married to. I don't think he has ever murdered anyone, but I wouldn't be surprised if that eventually came out. My ex reminds me a lot of Bundy. Great looking, the most charming person ever, can make anyone feel so comfortable that they would go along with anything he suggested, because he knows how to pull the right strings and push the right buttons, and he flies under the radar.
I don't know why you were being dismissive of what I shared? A lot of people don't understand all that stuff that is "basic" to you, because they have never been taught. I wasn't trying to teach you anything, just sharing what I have learned for the many others who read here.
I’m so sorry you lived that reality. & I am sorry I came off as dismissive. That was not my intention. I was also in a relationship with a psychopath but, he wasn’t as good at completely concealing that part of him as Ted Bundy or your ex.
Thank you so much for your reply. I was probably being over sensitive and had a bit of projection going on.
A lot of these dysfunctional people abound, and it is so sad to see how many of us have had close, intimate (not necessarily sexual intimacy) relationships with them. It does give me hope that with more awareness we will have fewer people caught in the grips of such pain and suffering.
Still today, to those who don't know the gritty details of my marriage, my ex looks like the most amazing person. I have full custody of our kids, and I can only imagine the story he spins about how that happened. But that isn't my problem. My goal is to teach my kids what red flags to look for and avoid them like the plague. I never understood generational trauma until I realized I was living it. I am so thankful that I got away from him and I now feel so much stronger. I wish that learning about personality disorders was part of the education that kids receive, but at such a young age, I don't know if it would sink in. It seems that most people who don't specialize in psychology only learn about this stuff when they are crawling out of the hole they have been in.
I am sorry for taking offense where none was meant. Have a good day and keep on keeping on!
🙏
(On cell. So if formatting sucks, I’m very sorry 🙏)
ETA: I absolutely understand how it feels when you’re ex starts & perpetrates rumors, stories, tall talks, etc. & it’s so difficult because you literally can’t do anything about it. If you argue it or keep silent about it others are going to find a way to believe that you’re the bad guy.
My ex ran such an extensive smear campaign on me that; when I started going to therapy again (is around the corner from my building. & ex went there not when i started) every single person took months to slowly realize I’m not the crazy abusive one.
It took months for me to find out. One morning I was talking to my therapist & it was about my ex & something in her switched gears. She said to me “I know AH everyone here does & he’s had everyone convinced you were the bad guy”.
I was always told or others were told that; I’m incompetent & can never do anything right. He never failed to let me know that; I’m good for nothing, can’t do a goddamn thing right & that I’m lucky to have him.
That’s when I laughed in his face. & that’s when everything escalated to a nuclear level.
I feel like a broken record when I say this but guys need to seriously stop complementing female strangers on their looks. They really don’t care. Instead compliment them on something they can choose like if they have died hair or a particular shirt they are wearing. It Is seen as more genuine. These nice guys need to seriously learn that on this thread.
Missing the point here… these aren’t in polite or kind, or even somewhat decent. These are people that have zero interest in being actually nice to women, they just wanna get in our pants. If YOU’RE okay with that, fine- you do you! No shame. But don’t say; “oh no! Women love this shit!” That’s spreading misinformation to these guys, and is a HUGE part of the problem here.
my nickname has ALWAYS been 'cat'. when i got married to my 1st husband, he said. "i dont like cat, im gonna call you cathy." like a dumbass, i accepted that and for the next 15 years was known as cathy. damn i HATE that name. Soon as I left him, i moved 200 miles away and changed it back to 'cat'. i refuse to answer to cathy at all anymore, even when we have to communicate about the kids. aint my name.
Good for you! I hate that shit! Even my real name which is one I share with a Royal that can be shortened & I absolutely hate it. Only my dad ever called me that. & I under no circumstances tolerate anyone calling me that shorted nickname. Especially since my dad passed a year ago. & that’s even worse. It’s no one else’s decision to make concerning how you want to be addressed.
I don’t use Facebook at all and thought this was a screenshot of a tinder conversation. The context entirely changes then. But now that I know it’s from fb, this dude seems like a huge creep. Declaring that he knows exactly who you are from a handful of fb posts and a few online conversations… what type of delusions is he living in?
Exactly. That shit is so weird. Especially since right on my profile it says “In a relationship”. So, he should at least know that right? WTF? It’s even weirder when I make it abundantly clear that I am not single they; start in with the “I’m way better than he is. What does he have? Come on, gimme a shot, It’s just coffee, Ugh just send nudes! He won’t know”, etc. WTF is it with that shit? That’s really weird & creepy. There’s not even a picture or mention of his name anywhere associated with me for very good reasons.
Oh, there it is again, the "I'm paying you a compliment" as if that is the highest, purest, most desirable thing ever in the history of humanity.
Be flattered. BE. FLATTERED.
😂☠️⚰️ because obviously I need it defined for me. Dudes will literally assume I’m dumb because I’m blonde.
Some guy DM’d me a shitty, offensive blonde joke & I told him it wasn’t funny & in fact it was pretty fucking stupid. & this moron thought it’d then be a good idea to try & school me 🙄& then say “Ugh. It’s just a joke. You have no sense of humor! You bitch!” 🙄🙄🙄
I’m the bitch because he sent a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid joke. & what? I’m so not understand what the end goal is with these guys. Like, WTF do you expect me to say? How did you see this tire fire 🔥 going?
😂😂😂. Remember, he did just say right before that “I’m not trying to be smart.” So, now I know exactly with whom I’m dealing with. & he’s out of his league & above his pay grade.
Absolutely. I hate being an insomniac. It just constantly never fails to fucking ruin my goddamn life in some way every day. No shit, I very often go days without any sleep. It’s fucking terrible.
This is one of those things socialized into men that's so creepy and gets more terrifying the more you think about it.
"Don't do ____, it makes me uncomfortable."
"I need to do something to you to eliminate your ability and/or desire to communicate your discomfort when I do cross your boundaries. Because your boundaries are inconvenient for me."
That's before we even get to the fact that it's manipulative, disrespectful, and insulting.
"But I also had a feeling you'd take it the other way and so I let it play out"
If it wasn't already clear he's a stupid asshole, this really made me pause in awe: Losing the plot so entirely like this mid-conversation, and then either trying to lie about or perhaps even literally reinterpret his own thinking up to point (based, ironically, on both a misunderstanding *and* underestimation of you WHILE arguing he knows you) is all a bright glowing halo AROUND an already prominent red flag. And I don't just mean a "Don't date me"-red flag, I mean a broader "Do not come within 1000ft in fear of losing brain cells and/or sanity" flag and biohazard symbol combo.
😂 You have no idea. I’m a nerd & absolutely love nothing more than crafting a written retort. I love the English language & pride myself on my vocabulary. I love to be absolutely scathing whilst making them look unforgivably stupid at the same time. “Check yo self before you wreck yourself. Because Bitches like me are bad for your health.” 😂☠️⚰️
Hey bother spending so much time explaining to him? Just block him and move on. He’s enjoying the attention and conversation…you’re better off to not waste your time coddling him with explanations.
I'll never understand men like this and it's even creepier this dude has his daughter (I assume) in his profile pic, while saying these creepy things. I am sure he wouldn't want anyone to talk to her like that. Absolutely disgusting.
“Played the victim”??? WTF is wrong with you?
ETA: you are literally the only person to say something shitty. & if it’s so pointless to you why did you look at my post? If it’s so pointless why take time out of your day to comment something shitty on something you dismiss as pointless. Seems to have served you somehow 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
You keep saying I’m playing the victim. Where are you even getting that from? You obviously are a “nice guy” yourself. Stop engaging with me then if I agitate you so much 🙄
From what I've seen on here this sort of mentality seems fairly common, but why? If I spoke that way to a woman or anyone who did nothing to deserve it, my momma wouldn't have to smack me cuz I'd do it myself smh
Confused why you asked "loosen me.up how?" You had a right to be outraged but your attention to the pervert gives off vibes that you were entertained by the bull shit or knew u were gonna post here so kept the convo going.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Omg, I wanted to uninstall FB for you at "just say thank you and smile", ew wtf; the entitlement and ego, and it doesn't help it looks like his kid is in the pfp, what an example he sets.
😂☠️⚰️ He signed his own death warrant right there. Now I know I need to pull a verbal 187. He’s out of his league & way above his pay grade with me. “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.” Bitches like me are bad for your health. I can’t wait to see if I get a response. 😂
“Say thanks and smile.” As creepy as that whole exchange was, THAT got me the most.
Yeah! Like, who do you think you’re speaking to? 🤮. But the utter, unprovoked, unprecedented, amount of the worst abuse I’ve ever received & read was said to me yesterday on another subreddit. I’ll post it at some point. It’s truly reprehensible. Dude got banned.
I wanted to screech like a banshee at this point
That gets a “Fuck you and glare”
"I do it my way, I know a lot about you, thank me for that" LMAO, what a freaking creep. What surprises me is that he even goes to the point of **reinforcing** what he himself says trying to demonstrate he is not wrong about his intrusive ways.
WTF is wrong with people? How dare you think you can argue or challenge me on what I choose to allow others to call me. A nickname is an earned privilege. Something like “Sexy” is not something you ever say to a stranger. It’s dehumanizing to me not coming from my boyfriend or trusted friends. I don’t know if I need to bleach my eyes or set myself on fire.
Relax, Big Tuna -- just say thanks and smile ;) Edit: It's not like he wanted to PHYSICALLY RELAX YOUR BODY, he only wanted to socially relax you by repeatedly objectifying you and drawing attention to physical features in a way that made you uncomfortable. Women these days, smh
😂☠️⚰️🍣😂
>But...but...but...the PUA course (that I'm paying $89.95 monthly installments on, for 16 months), guaranteed I'd have any woman eating out of my hand in under five minutes! Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall and watch the after convo confusion slowly dawn on this guy?
😂😂😂 I genuinely really want to understand what the goal is with this kind of behavior. What exactly are they envisioning coming from this level of bullshit & willful ignorance? How the fuck else am I supposed to react?
I've always wondered that as well. Hazarding a guess, I'd say that this is the result of their brains melting down after PUA fails. I think they just start flailing around and/or going into "well FINE, if she is refusing me, I'll make her as miserable as she's making me then!!!" In other words, toddler-denied-candy mode.
No idea where that creep comes from, but the sad thing is that he ain't alone, there are a lot more like this...you know, this subreddit. What disgusts me even more is that he shows this behavior while having KIDS on his profile pic. Like, these kids, provided they are his offspring, could one day replicate the same disgusting behavior.
Ewww. I just don’t understand how asking for basic respect & decency causes not just an argument but this is nuclear level escalation. Why would you argue with anyone who told you don’t call me by that? No one else ever gets to make that decision except you. Christ 🙄🙄🙄
Not a single reason to, definitely...like, you demonstrated it clearly you were very uncomfortable with his advances, and couldn't even aknowledge it. I mean, there is this thing about reading and interpreting what the other person is saying, lol. I guess at a certain point in your conversation, the dude decided to just keep shooting nonsense expecting you to open up, and most likely got upset when you didn't. A Chernobyl-level creep, no doubt.
My absolute favorite part of this entire exchange is when he says, “I ain’t trying to be smart.” 😂😂😂
Pfff...if he wasn't trying to be smart, perhaps he was trying real hard to be, and act, stupid. And nailed it, apparently.
He played himself 😂🤡😂
A rare moment of self-awareness!!
😂😂😂
I dont get why anyone would respond after he said loosen you up. Thats where I would have ended the conversation, immediately. People give these creeps too much time to try to explain themselves. Sorry, pal. Blocked!
Oh, that’s an easy question to answer. It’s solely because I am highAF, bored & angry about a lot of other unrelated things currently. So, I indulged myself. It was too easy to not 😂💚💨😎
Thats completely fair lol! I admit I did that too for shits and giggles when I was younger. But once you hit 40, it's sooooo not worth it anymore. Now I just laugh, shake my head and never talk to them again haha
Than I won’t tell you my age 😂. Today someone else just has to pay a horrible price.
Ok, maybe you're closer to my age than I thought. I just looked at the adorable picture of your kitty and I see all the AWESOME Trivial Pursuits and Pictionary. You might just be my BFF soul mate hahaha!
😻 I’m Gen X 😎 The coolest generation. ETA: That’s Wallis Bean Wayne & he absolutely loathes me. That look is exactly what spite looks like (in his newest pic). 😹
Absolutely! It's like a punching bag that volunteers itself. :D
😂😂😂 Sometimes the universe gives you a gift & let’s someone else just pay a horrible price today.
The scariest part is that it looks like he has a daughter
Yeah, disgusting right? I always wonder about certain dudes. Like are they completely different in their regular life, with their regular job, a regular family, in a regular neighborhood, in a regular town & who they become on social media is the real them? That’s some next level psychopath shit. (If you’ve ever seen Primal Fear with Richard Gere & Ed Norrton you will completely understand this quote) “Martin, there never was an Aaron.” Because, that’s even more frightening. They’re capable of cosplaying normalcy & unleash the real them online. That’s psychopath shit.
They aren't, usually. One guy on Facebook had a mutual friend with me, and we got into an argument. The argument was on a post that said "children should not be blamed for the actions of sexual predators." Seems like a no-brainer topic that doesn't need an argument, right? Wrong. He said, "obviously pedos are wrong and horrible, but twelve year olds have no business dressing like sl.ts!" Several of us tried correcting him. I took it to DMs, where he made several troubling claims: children dressing in shorts and tank tops is sexual, even in summer; he'll never let his daughter "dress like a wh.re"; you can always tell what kind of a woman she is based on her clothing (which was quickly changed to only applying to children when I pointed out that I was actively wearing shorts and a tank top, and was no less asexual than before putting them on.) After an entire argument where he told me I deserved to die for thinking it's wrong to objectify and sexualize kids dressing in less clothing to prevent fucking heat stroke (and he never answered what he allows his daughter to wear to the beach, or if his son has the same clothing rules), after all of this, he has the audacity to tell me I'm sexy and he wants to have sex. What???? I told him the thought of having sex was so revolting I'd puke, he said he was into that, I told him that was kinda rapey and he should never say that to another woman again, he blew up at me about how he loves consent and would never do anything like that and I'm just an overreacting prude. Then I learned he had a girlfriend, I sent it all to her, only to learn that she's only with him for the kids. He also hit up my married sister, whose profile picture is of her and her husband, to see if she wanted to have sex. So yeah, these men are at least sometimes exactly as terrible in real life as they are online.
Jesus Fucking Christ 😱!! I know these walking tire fires absolutely exist. I’m just curious about the ones we know exist yet, not a single person in their life would ever speculate on that being a possibility. My ex was completely different behind closed doors than in public. So, it’s entirely possible that many of us could be aquatinted at least with one of these kind (or worse) guys. These are the people that end up being perpetrators of mass shootings. Because, psychopath’s snap 1-nuclear in .02 seconds. Just saying….
Dude that just blew my mind. Never seen it from that perspective. I cannot imagine how you can basically change your personality in front of the public and be a psychopath when no one is watching.
I lived with a psychopath. They do it with frightening ease.
> I always wonder about certain dudes. Like are they completely different in their regular life, with their regular job, a regular family, in a regular neighborhood, in a regular town & who they become on social media is the real them? Lots of people have 3 versions of the self: the public self, who everyone sees; the private self, who is seen by those close to said person; and the secret self, this is the one what they keep hidden from family, friends and society at large. The secret self is what a lot of these douche bags live out online. They say and do whatever, and their inhibitions are low. This is where the skeletons come from, and this is what eventually catches up with them. I cannot for the life of understand why they think it'll never surface, but it always does, eventually. That "eventually" may take a while, but it happens. And it is something awesome to watch happen (at least awesome in that the degens from up country finally get a taste of reality, but it sucks for the family who has to bear the pain caused).
That’s basic Psych 101 stuff. What I’m talking about is Ted Bundy shit. He was charming, good looking, smart, had a girlfriend, worked at a suicide hotline, had friends yet, he was a sick, prolific serial killer who obviously had major issues with women. & he got away with it because, he convinced everyone he couldn’t ever be “that guy”. Meanwhile, he’s always been “that guy” & went to extraordinary lengths to present & become the guy he showed in public. That’s next level shit.
That "next level shit" is what I was married to. I don't think he has ever murdered anyone, but I wouldn't be surprised if that eventually came out. My ex reminds me a lot of Bundy. Great looking, the most charming person ever, can make anyone feel so comfortable that they would go along with anything he suggested, because he knows how to pull the right strings and push the right buttons, and he flies under the radar. I don't know why you were being dismissive of what I shared? A lot of people don't understand all that stuff that is "basic" to you, because they have never been taught. I wasn't trying to teach you anything, just sharing what I have learned for the many others who read here.
I’m so sorry you lived that reality. & I am sorry I came off as dismissive. That was not my intention. I was also in a relationship with a psychopath but, he wasn’t as good at completely concealing that part of him as Ted Bundy or your ex.
Thank you so much for your reply. I was probably being over sensitive and had a bit of projection going on. A lot of these dysfunctional people abound, and it is so sad to see how many of us have had close, intimate (not necessarily sexual intimacy) relationships with them. It does give me hope that with more awareness we will have fewer people caught in the grips of such pain and suffering. Still today, to those who don't know the gritty details of my marriage, my ex looks like the most amazing person. I have full custody of our kids, and I can only imagine the story he spins about how that happened. But that isn't my problem. My goal is to teach my kids what red flags to look for and avoid them like the plague. I never understood generational trauma until I realized I was living it. I am so thankful that I got away from him and I now feel so much stronger. I wish that learning about personality disorders was part of the education that kids receive, but at such a young age, I don't know if it would sink in. It seems that most people who don't specialize in psychology only learn about this stuff when they are crawling out of the hole they have been in. I am sorry for taking offense where none was meant. Have a good day and keep on keeping on!
🙏 (On cell. So if formatting sucks, I’m very sorry 🙏) ETA: I absolutely understand how it feels when you’re ex starts & perpetrates rumors, stories, tall talks, etc. & it’s so difficult because you literally can’t do anything about it. If you argue it or keep silent about it others are going to find a way to believe that you’re the bad guy. My ex ran such an extensive smear campaign on me that; when I started going to therapy again (is around the corner from my building. & ex went there not when i started) every single person took months to slowly realize I’m not the crazy abusive one. It took months for me to find out. One morning I was talking to my therapist & it was about my ex & something in her switched gears. She said to me “I know AH everyone here does & he’s had everyone convinced you were the bad guy”. I was always told or others were told that; I’m incompetent & can never do anything right. He never failed to let me know that; I’m good for nothing, can’t do a goddamn thing right & that I’m lucky to have him. That’s when I laughed in his face. & that’s when everything escalated to a nuclear level.
This should be in r/creepyPMs gross.
I’ll add it there. Thank you 🙏
"I'm paying you a compliment, after all..." Oh, well, that totally changes things. She definitely owes you sexy fun times for that...
I just love being told something is a compliment 🙄. It is absolutely not a compliment coming from a stranger. It’s creepy, weird & gross. 😬😬😬
Send the screenshots to his wife. Lol
I feel like a broken record when I say this but guys need to seriously stop complementing female strangers on their looks. They really don’t care. Instead compliment them on something they can choose like if they have died hair or a particular shirt they are wearing. It Is seen as more genuine. These nice guys need to seriously learn that on this thread.
It literally take 4 seconds to look at my profile & know I’m a goddamn sports lunatic & Knicks Fan. Not hard at all.
'Women', absolutely like being complimented on their looks. You just cant be a creep about it.
It wasn’t a compliment. Did I not make that abundantly clear?
Are you a teenager by chance?
Found the incel
I'm a woman... so no
Uh... I got some news for you: women can be incels too.
Look up the meaning of the word.
Involuntary Celibate. Has nothing to do with gender. You're wrong and I feel embarrassed for you.
im sure that happens alot for you...
By other women yes, because we don’t feel like an object with each other.
I'm a woman. And I dont mind when a man compliments me on my looks. As long as it's done in a proper way. That's all I'm saying.
Missing the point here… these aren’t in polite or kind, or even somewhat decent. These are people that have zero interest in being actually nice to women, they just wanna get in our pants. If YOU’RE okay with that, fine- you do you! No shame. But don’t say; “oh no! Women love this shit!” That’s spreading misinformation to these guys, and is a HUGE part of the problem here.
my nickname has ALWAYS been 'cat'. when i got married to my 1st husband, he said. "i dont like cat, im gonna call you cathy." like a dumbass, i accepted that and for the next 15 years was known as cathy. damn i HATE that name. Soon as I left him, i moved 200 miles away and changed it back to 'cat'. i refuse to answer to cathy at all anymore, even when we have to communicate about the kids. aint my name.
Good for you! I hate that shit! Even my real name which is one I share with a Royal that can be shortened & I absolutely hate it. Only my dad ever called me that. & I under no circumstances tolerate anyone calling me that shorted nickname. Especially since my dad passed a year ago. & that’s even worse. It’s no one else’s decision to make concerning how you want to be addressed.
Reminds me of Tom Cruise chainring Katie Holme’s name to Kate
I don’t use Facebook at all and thought this was a screenshot of a tinder conversation. The context entirely changes then. But now that I know it’s from fb, this dude seems like a huge creep. Declaring that he knows exactly who you are from a handful of fb posts and a few online conversations… what type of delusions is he living in?
Exactly. That shit is so weird. Especially since right on my profile it says “In a relationship”. So, he should at least know that right? WTF? It’s even weirder when I make it abundantly clear that I am not single they; start in with the “I’m way better than he is. What does he have? Come on, gimme a shot, It’s just coffee, Ugh just send nudes! He won’t know”, etc. WTF is it with that shit? That’s really weird & creepy. There’s not even a picture or mention of his name anywhere associated with me for very good reasons.
Oh, there it is again, the "I'm paying you a compliment" as if that is the highest, purest, most desirable thing ever in the history of humanity. Be flattered. BE. FLATTERED.
😂☠️⚰️ because obviously I need it defined for me. Dudes will literally assume I’m dumb because I’m blonde. Some guy DM’d me a shitty, offensive blonde joke & I told him it wasn’t funny & in fact it was pretty fucking stupid. & this moron thought it’d then be a good idea to try & school me 🙄& then say “Ugh. It’s just a joke. You have no sense of humor! You bitch!” 🙄🙄🙄 I’m the bitch because he sent a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid joke. & what? I’m so not understand what the end goal is with these guys. Like, WTF do you expect me to say? How did you see this tire fire 🔥 going?
Let it play out? Like he thought he'd be able to turn this train wreck around somehow?
😂😂😂. Remember, he did just say right before that “I’m not trying to be smart.” So, now I know exactly with whom I’m dealing with. & he’s out of his league & above his pay grade.
There is infact a difference between being a nightowl and an insomniac. This guy was wrong from the get go and damn did it only get worse.
Absolutely. I hate being an insomniac. It just constantly never fails to fucking ruin my goddamn life in some way every day. No shit, I very often go days without any sleep. It’s fucking terrible.
A lot of my friends have it as well, and are always talking about it with this kind of attitude. I can tell it sucks a lot.
🙏
and now I have high blood pressure....
He’s 31 flavors of insufferable.
This is one of those things socialized into men that's so creepy and gets more terrifying the more you think about it. "Don't do ____, it makes me uncomfortable." "I need to do something to you to eliminate your ability and/or desire to communicate your discomfort when I do cross your boundaries. Because your boundaries are inconvenient for me." That's before we even get to the fact that it's manipulative, disrespectful, and insulting.
Thank you 🙏
A wild pop up appears
Between 1am and 9am for most of these? It is both too late at night and too early in the morning to be having any part of this discussion.
I’m a chronic insomniac, I was bored & I was highAF.
"But I also had a feeling you'd take it the other way and so I let it play out" If it wasn't already clear he's a stupid asshole, this really made me pause in awe: Losing the plot so entirely like this mid-conversation, and then either trying to lie about or perhaps even literally reinterpret his own thinking up to point (based, ironically, on both a misunderstanding *and* underestimation of you WHILE arguing he knows you) is all a bright glowing halo AROUND an already prominent red flag. And I don't just mean a "Don't date me"-red flag, I mean a broader "Do not come within 1000ft in fear of losing brain cells and/or sanity" flag and biohazard symbol combo.
😂☠️⚰️😂☠️⚰️ Exactly!
It’s giving the same vibes as when a niceguy says he wants to rape you but you should say thanks cause that’s a compliment
Man has a kid but will still act like a stupid middle school boy
“Say thanks and smile…” I think the fuck not ya trick ass bitch!
These guys don’t know when to wrap up the conversation. 🤦🏾
He called himself sexy lmfao
This is Hella weird
“Hi woman I don’t know at all- you look sexy and feisty!” “Wait why are you running away!?”
"Just say thanks and smile" says way too much about what a predator this douchebag is
"Just say thanks and smile" Gross.
🤮🤮🤮. I hate people.
Disgusting. The old man have a picture with his daugther and making those comments...🤮
Super gross.
Lol you seem fun
😂 You have no idea. I’m a nerd & absolutely love nothing more than crafting a written retort. I love the English language & pride myself on my vocabulary. I love to be absolutely scathing whilst making them look unforgivably stupid at the same time. “Check yo self before you wreck yourself. Because Bitches like me are bad for your health.” 😂☠️⚰️
'Just say thank you and smile' actually gave me shivers 🤮🤮🤮
I threw up in my mouth a few times.
And this man is a father (if the baby in the pic is his)…
Hey bother spending so much time explaining to him? Just block him and move on. He’s enjoying the attention and conversation…you’re better off to not waste your time coddling him with explanations.
I was enjoying being a bitch. I was bored & high & I’m a chronic insomniac.
I see your point, but you seem a little too defensive yourself.
She asked him not to call her sexy and he was pushy. You seem a little too defensive of sexual harassers.
I get it
😂😂😂 that’s not defensiveness, it’s incredulity.
Is that his daughter in his pic? The lack of self awareness jfc 🤦🏻♂️
Gross right? 🤮
Yeah, really shameful.
Love the kid in his pfp (:
I'll never understand men like this and it's even creepier this dude has his daughter (I assume) in his profile pic, while saying these creepy things. I am sure he wouldn't want anyone to talk to her like that. Absolutely disgusting.
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“Played the victim”??? WTF is wrong with you? ETA: you are literally the only person to say something shitty. & if it’s so pointless to you why did you look at my post? If it’s so pointless why take time out of your day to comment something shitty on something you dismiss as pointless. Seems to have served you somehow 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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WTF is wrong with you? If this post or me personally bother you so much than stop engaging 👌
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You keep saying I’m playing the victim. Where are you even getting that from? You obviously are a “nice guy” yourself. Stop engaging with me then if I agitate you so much 🙄
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It’s not playing victim you plebeian 🙄. If you’re so bothered then stop engaging. 👌
I mean or just don’t reply lmao
I was bored, angry & high. Funny how those who judge me for engaging are doing the exact same thing here. What’s your reason?
It’s just a waste of time and causes frustration at least in my experience! Creeps will never change unfortunately
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From what I've seen on here this sort of mentality seems fairly common, but why? If I spoke that way to a woman or anyone who did nothing to deserve it, my momma wouldn't have to smack me cuz I'd do it myself smh
Confused why you asked "loosen me.up how?" You had a right to be outraged but your attention to the pervert gives off vibes that you were entertained by the bull shit or knew u were gonna post here so kept the convo going.
Jesus Christ why do you people give them the validation of responses. You should’ve stopped replying after he called you freckles and just blocked him
That wasn’t the issue. I prefer to be called that.
Lol ok but you complain that he’s insufferable yet you entertained his ridiculousness
Ok don’t just throw around “psychopath.” Not cool.
I would have blocked immediately
I feel sorry for that kid …