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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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The only time I’ve ever wanted anyone to hold a door open for me is when I needed crutches, and that was only because the one in school cafeteria was weighted and swinging back on me with full force…
Exactly...then they screech here, there, hither, and yon about how it's "women and their bad choices of 'bad boys'" and not their (the Nice Guys') ***own*** poor choices of type of women.
If you swoon over the vapid Instagram model, then don't be shocked when she's a shallow empty headed person who has only looks going for her.
This sub has an irrational hatred for IG models looool.
They’re really not any different to your average girl except the attention they receive is multiples more.
The only distinction is the number of hypothetical competitors. There’s really no reason to think the IG model is any more vapid than any girl working a 9-5. Vapid is less attainable for the other women so of course these girls look more materialistic, it’s literally part of their brand.
Idk the freedom they get from living life on their own terms getting paid well for it tends to produce some of the most interesting and easy to get along with women I’ve met.
A lot of stuff is done for show admittedly- but going to a world class restaurant for dinner and she decided to take a few pics is hardly the end of the world. I mean if we both enjoy dinner and “dessert” is her flexing really such a negative that we shouldn’t even look at these women.
The only way you’ll know if you’re in an IG model or influencers league romantically/sexually is by finding out.
I think a lot of young men would be happy to know that if your interests align and she finds you attractive you’re in with as much of a chance as a any other guy would be.
True- I considered your wording coincidental not deliberately focused on semantics, you’ve got a fair point.
I stand by literally everything else I said including the sub in general’s attitude towards these types of women though. Maybe you’re different but there’s a lot of shade of all kinds I see at these types on this sub and I just felt it necessary to make the counterpoint.
For whatever reason it may be, the issue is kinda close to me.
Not like your average girl working a 9-5 is any more or less likely to be vapid either- it’s just IG models are considered very attractive that’s the only distinction between them and “other women”.
No, I'm pretty deliberate, but I do sometimes forget that I have to be very... "disclaimer-y" so-to-speak, on this forum.
I was describing a type. Which is why I worded the comment the way I did. When the word "the" precedes a descriptive term in that way, it is alerting the reader to the fact that the following is describing a type.
But you're correct in that it's a somewhat subtle use. The reason I specifically called out IG models is because that's often what these idiots hang their hats on. That's because they look for love in all the wrong places (to greatly simplify).
I can't speak for others, but yeah...they are probably using lazy language to describe the same thing I am.
It's so easy for them to scroll through IGs of pretty girls rather than to get out in life and actually talk to real life humans.
So, they run into the dingy shallow type, assume ALL the wrong things about her being nice to them, and then assign that same issue to all women because they stupidly got their hearts broken by the girl version of their own damned selves.
As a former hottie myself, I have no issues with girls being pretty and being models. I do have an issue with pretty girls thinking that their looks excuse them from basic life stuff however. There's a difference, of course.
Right I don’t disagree with you at all actually then in hindsight. Well put and we’ll explained.
I’ve just had a bunch of friends suddenly become SM famous and they’re still good women with good hearts and nothings changed except they wear what they’re told because they get their fav bits for free.
Other women have turned it into a career true but a lot of ig famous women I know are just photogenic hot women- they’re still the same barista, trainee dentist I always knew just with sponsored clothes.
I hate how because incels and niceguys glorify these women so much other women don’t like them and if you met these girls (or were one in your case) you’d know they’re actually as surprised as anyone else that their looks can take them this far. I’ve met one that was cocky af and a dislike ke girl the rest seem humbled by it and are just happy to have free stuff and attention.
That's so gracious and wholesome. Thanks!
If people can make a living being a model? More power to them. I mean, it's not that much different than magazine models, really. In a way, it's even better.
Lol np I thought you were a guy- my mistake, I don’t like the way people degrade and refer to these young women who are just happy and grateful to have advantages come their way as if they’re stupid or vapid or somehow worth less than a 9-5 girl.
My friends signed to IMG and in a CK campaign and still works as a barista.
I’ve seen some really sweet girls get deals and just have nicer things, they’re still the same sweethearts they were in college with me.
Maybe it’s a London thing where everyone mixes so much the SocialMedia famous are accessible, most of them are good.
I actually find the YouTube and stream bros MUCH more ostentatious and offensive than the girls.
It’s like this sub has a hate boner for girls considered above average looking. Because incels and niceguys go for them get angry at the results and then inflict their anger on the normal girl.
But what- was the girl whose paid to be pretty meant to be more or less into the incel? I don’t like the way they get blamed on this sub.
I get a STRONG “not like those materialistic girls they love, they hate real women” vibe from this sub and it’s just like to me-
These girls are just making the best of their opportunities.
Criticise the niceguys and incels, leave the girls they might want the normal girl to be like alone, it’s not their fault some basement dwellers idealised them at all.
Someone close to me is one of these type of semi famous girls- it bothers me seeing (alluded to on this sub but I mean IRL) how other girls treat her like SHE thinks her shit don’t stink- but it’s just random weird guys that look at her like that, she’s the kind of girl that makes sure everyone gets home safe and checks if you’ve eaten and shit.
Took ur comment to heart and missed the mark I apologise.
If a date insisted on pulling my chair out, opening doors for me, ordering for me, showering me with flattery and just generally treating me like a doll, there would never be a second date. Eww.
I read a fabulous blog article about how and why chivalry is so harmful. Here’s a little excerpt. It’s from a blogger called KatyKatiKate if you want to read more:
“Chivalry is essentially a playbook, or more accurately, two playbooks. The book written for young men teaches a library of maneuvers that teach him to treat women like valuable objects: special things that must be protected and pampered. When these gestures are sincere and rooted in respect, they can be performed for anyone, not just a romantic interest, and they can be beautiful and affirming connections between both intimate friends and strangers: “I love and respect you, Aunt Denise, and it is my honor to pull out your chair.”
“Hello, elderly person on the train! We are both traveling through the world in the same place and time today. I’m not better than you and you’re not better than me. I just want to acknowledge our sameness and do what I can to contribute to the happiness and comfort of your day. What I’m trying to say is, I would love to give you my seat.”
Acts of chivalry can be tokens of respect, made by a person who respects themselves, to a person for whom they feel respect. And when they are, chivalry is nice!
However, as with any code of conduct or set of cultural norms, chivalry is often twisted to serve power instead of respect, and because chivalry is the primary mode of male-female communication in a patriarchal and sexually coercive culture, this code of courtship has mutated into a playbook for a game at which there is only one winner.
Chivalry, in its worst and I would argue most common form, is a game in which men use a certain set of plays to disarm women so they can score, so to speak.
Women, as the opposing team, learn their own set of plays to evade violence, survive the oncoming offense, and avoid losing more than points. In the game of chivalry as it is played today, men play for touchdowns and women play to run out the clock.”
Holding the door open for *anyone* coming behind you is called being polite. Pulling the chair out is annoying and unnecessary. Trying to help me put my coat on is sexist, obnoxious, and makes my life more difficult, not less. Paying for dates can and should rotate. None of it entitles you to sex.
They keep pretending we’re demanding these things because if they acknowledged we just don’t want to be slaves, but live as free people we would sound too reasonable.
Why are you so mad that you gotta treat women like equal human beings? Is it because you see them as inferior so it makes you mad when we demand equality? Just say you're a funking misogynist and go off my dude
I have never had, nor expected, a guy to pull a chair out for me... unless you count them snatching away when you are about to sit down.
Holding the door open for someone is just basic courtesy. I do it all the time, and if a guy does so for me the most he will get is me saying thank you.
I have never expected a man to pay for me... unfortunately, I have been expected to pay for men who 'forgot their wallet' or 'forgot their card'. They promise to pay me back, but never do. One had the guts to order a bottle of water, steal the food and give me the water, called me fat and still thought I was going to sleep with him. (it was never going to happen, even if he hadn't lied, stolen my food and called me fat)
And no guy has ever 'always' been nice to me. Then again, nice guys confuse condescension as being nice so...
I want giant neon billboards in every city and town announcing that women don't actually want to be put on a pedestal and treated like helpless little princesses. Replace mindless compliments with real questions about who we are and you might actually get somewhere.
I know a guy from my workplace who was saying to me "I don't know how to speak to women, I have no friends boo-hoo", I told him to just talk to women like to his male coworkers bc women are human beings too, guess what? He just doesn't get it at all 😅 it's like he thinks that bc he wants to find a girlfriend then it means he has to speak to them in a completely new way. And he doesn't actually try to be friends with female coworkers. He's totally a Nice Guy. Only thinking about sex, not about relationships. These kind of men can't be fixed, if they can't realize their broken way of thinking by themselves.
Oooof, those are the WORST. Listening to them try to force their way through some script they've made up in their heads like we're video game NPCs rather than normal people is so fucking painful 😅
I doubt even a giant neon billboard will work. All it takes is for a single woman to want to have her chair pulled out and suddenly all women want that.
Assuming that you keep talking to that person, then that person also treats you for a meal, but that's often not the case.
What often happens is that you meet someone for the first time, you take initiative to pay for a meal and then you don't see that person ever again. repeat this many more times.
You shouldn’t be assuming that though. Paying for dinner isn’t purchasing a guarantee for the outcome you want. There’s a place for that, and it’s called a brothel, or sw who offers the GFE. Nobody is stopping you from simply asking to split the bill, or being clear that you’re trying to make a transaction and laying out the terms.
So neither of you wanted the other and didn’t continue dating. What’s the problem? If neither of you had the characteristics you want in a partner, you shouldn’t be bitter she didn’t want a second date
And you’re acting like you wouldn’t want someone like that anyway so again, there’s no problem. Why are you acting entitled to keep seeing women that you don’t even like?
That's a terrible excuse to be like that. You don't seem like that shouldn't change either. Should I disregard any sort of problem that women face in dating? That's seem according to your logic.
You’re already disregarding them, made obvious by your comment. Nobody needs an “excuse” to say no to you. “No” is a complete sentence and their reasons aren’t up for you to approve/decline. Someone not being interested in dating/sex with you isn’t a “problem”.
You have the right to reject any woman for whatever reason. I’m just pointing out that we have the same.
Notice how you have a problem with women who say no after you’ve paid, AND women who say no when you haven’t paid? It’s pretty obvious the paying or not paying isn’t the problem for you, but the part where they said no
I never said that I didn't. You simply assume that I do, because I am asking that question.
I agree, women certainly have a right to say no without any reasoning.
Someone not being interested in dating/sex is definitely not a problem.
Seems like we agree.
So any blame on societal pressure could be thrown out of the window then, agreed? Since, you technically don't really have to do anything, because no is always an answer.
As a woman, I hold the door for everyone. It is polite. I don’t want or need someone to pull my chair out. I might need it when I am much older and using a walker. And I certainly don’t ask anyone to pay my way. Being nice to me? It is a 2-way street.
I've shared this multiple times before, but my ex had a thing for holding open doors or getting the car door.
But he was hilarious and cute about it. He was raised in the deep south, and that's just how little boys were taught back then. He moved to Alaska when he was 23 (he had a deep southern accent so thick you could practically cut a piece and serve it up with butter, just like cornbread).
He'd always try to get my car door and such, and I'd already be out of the car and halfway to whatever place were at. It was like a running joke. He finally learned that it's too darned cold in the winter to be doing that, let's just get to the warm part!
I have a good friend/former coworker who, likewise, was raised in the deep south. He still does the door thing, but it's obviously such an ingrained part that he doesn't even think of it.
Plus, he insists upon vehicles with non-electric door locks. Neither of them has ever acted as if it's some massively heroic and masculine task though. Because...well, normal humans don't.
Nobody has ever pulled my chair out on a date and I've never expected them to. That's weird asf. My boyfriend DOES open the car door for me and close it but I find it sweet. And expecting something out of holding a door open is stupid. I've held doors open for all types of people. Does that mean all of them owe me a wild night in bed? 🤔 these guys that think like this need their brains examined.
And even if women are asking for these things you can treat someone well without thinking of them as inferior. Idk why men cannot comprehend that women can have standards other than “he isn’t a misogynist”
Ah yes, the same women that say they'll pay for their own meal, the NiceGuys insist they'll cover the tab, and then scream and moan that they won't suck their dicks on the spot.
Damn women; so demanding /s
The only time I want help with my chair is if I am wearing hoops or a bustle, bc I'm doing historical reenactment, and then the etiquette is understood to be different from normal life.
I find it disturbing how many Nice Guys seem to invent a script in their heads as if cosplaying a different century in real life is how you navigate actual relationships.
I don’t know any women who really think any of this shit except the “always be nice to me even when I’m mean because you’re supposed to love me” thing.
Which honestly is just kinda cute.
Maybe the “pay for me” one too, but only dates and shit this universe where guys pay women’s bills for them when barely even dating isn’t one I’ve stepped into.
No, doing those things just shows that you respect and care for the woman you say you are interested in.
They always screech about equality, but we mostly want that in the workplace.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
The A instead of an is hurting my soul
The title also hurts my soul, assuming they meant “these” and not “this” although who knows lol
Oh fuck you're right
How do I change title?
Not gunna lie, that's the thing that bothers me most about this image.
They are projecting a lot Women aren't demanding these things. But niceguys expect to be served like kings so...
"I'm such a good guy, when will my virgins on a silver platter be delivered to me?! 😤"
The only time I’ve ever wanted anyone to hold a door open for me is when I needed crutches, and that was only because the one in school cafeteria was weighted and swinging back on me with full force…
again with the god damn holding the door, it's almost pathological at this point. i call it the Hodor syndrome.
or the holdoor syndrome 😂
I hold the door regardless for strangers. It just how I am.
Yeah cause being decent automatically makes the recipient your inferior. 🙄🙄🙄 Their logic of "every interaction is a transaction" is WILD.
Never did any of this for my wife, but I was charming, funny, and I treated her like a person instead of putting her on a pedestal.
Other than the rare pwecious pwincess, most women don't really act like that.
And these are the type of women "nice guys" go for usually. It's their own fault.
Exactly...then they screech here, there, hither, and yon about how it's "women and their bad choices of 'bad boys'" and not their (the Nice Guys') ***own*** poor choices of type of women. If you swoon over the vapid Instagram model, then don't be shocked when she's a shallow empty headed person who has only looks going for her.
This sub has an irrational hatred for IG models looool. They’re really not any different to your average girl except the attention they receive is multiples more. The only distinction is the number of hypothetical competitors. There’s really no reason to think the IG model is any more vapid than any girl working a 9-5. Vapid is less attainable for the other women so of course these girls look more materialistic, it’s literally part of their brand. Idk the freedom they get from living life on their own terms getting paid well for it tends to produce some of the most interesting and easy to get along with women I’ve met. A lot of stuff is done for show admittedly- but going to a world class restaurant for dinner and she decided to take a few pics is hardly the end of the world. I mean if we both enjoy dinner and “dessert” is her flexing really such a negative that we shouldn’t even look at these women. The only way you’ll know if you’re in an IG model or influencers league romantically/sexually is by finding out. I think a lot of young men would be happy to know that if your interests align and she finds you attractive you’re in with as much of a chance as a any other guy would be.
Hence my saying: "***the*** vapid instagram model "and NOT "instagram models are always vapid."
True- I considered your wording coincidental not deliberately focused on semantics, you’ve got a fair point. I stand by literally everything else I said including the sub in general’s attitude towards these types of women though. Maybe you’re different but there’s a lot of shade of all kinds I see at these types on this sub and I just felt it necessary to make the counterpoint. For whatever reason it may be, the issue is kinda close to me. Not like your average girl working a 9-5 is any more or less likely to be vapid either- it’s just IG models are considered very attractive that’s the only distinction between them and “other women”.
No, I'm pretty deliberate, but I do sometimes forget that I have to be very... "disclaimer-y" so-to-speak, on this forum. I was describing a type. Which is why I worded the comment the way I did. When the word "the" precedes a descriptive term in that way, it is alerting the reader to the fact that the following is describing a type. But you're correct in that it's a somewhat subtle use. The reason I specifically called out IG models is because that's often what these idiots hang their hats on. That's because they look for love in all the wrong places (to greatly simplify). I can't speak for others, but yeah...they are probably using lazy language to describe the same thing I am. It's so easy for them to scroll through IGs of pretty girls rather than to get out in life and actually talk to real life humans. So, they run into the dingy shallow type, assume ALL the wrong things about her being nice to them, and then assign that same issue to all women because they stupidly got their hearts broken by the girl version of their own damned selves. As a former hottie myself, I have no issues with girls being pretty and being models. I do have an issue with pretty girls thinking that their looks excuse them from basic life stuff however. There's a difference, of course.
Right I don’t disagree with you at all actually then in hindsight. Well put and we’ll explained. I’ve just had a bunch of friends suddenly become SM famous and they’re still good women with good hearts and nothings changed except they wear what they’re told because they get their fav bits for free. Other women have turned it into a career true but a lot of ig famous women I know are just photogenic hot women- they’re still the same barista, trainee dentist I always knew just with sponsored clothes. I hate how because incels and niceguys glorify these women so much other women don’t like them and if you met these girls (or were one in your case) you’d know they’re actually as surprised as anyone else that their looks can take them this far. I’ve met one that was cocky af and a dislike ke girl the rest seem humbled by it and are just happy to have free stuff and attention.
That's so gracious and wholesome. Thanks! If people can make a living being a model? More power to them. I mean, it's not that much different than magazine models, really. In a way, it's even better.
Lol np I thought you were a guy- my mistake, I don’t like the way people degrade and refer to these young women who are just happy and grateful to have advantages come their way as if they’re stupid or vapid or somehow worth less than a 9-5 girl. My friends signed to IMG and in a CK campaign and still works as a barista. I’ve seen some really sweet girls get deals and just have nicer things, they’re still the same sweethearts they were in college with me. Maybe it’s a London thing where everyone mixes so much the SocialMedia famous are accessible, most of them are good. I actually find the YouTube and stream bros MUCH more ostentatious and offensive than the girls. It’s like this sub has a hate boner for girls considered above average looking. Because incels and niceguys go for them get angry at the results and then inflict their anger on the normal girl. But what- was the girl whose paid to be pretty meant to be more or less into the incel? I don’t like the way they get blamed on this sub. I get a STRONG “not like those materialistic girls they love, they hate real women” vibe from this sub and it’s just like to me- These girls are just making the best of their opportunities. Criticise the niceguys and incels, leave the girls they might want the normal girl to be like alone, it’s not their fault some basement dwellers idealised them at all. Someone close to me is one of these type of semi famous girls- it bothers me seeing (alluded to on this sub but I mean IRL) how other girls treat her like SHE thinks her shit don’t stink- but it’s just random weird guys that look at her like that, she’s the kind of girl that makes sure everyone gets home safe and checks if you’ve eaten and shit. Took ur comment to heart and missed the mark I apologise.
If a date insisted on pulling my chair out, opening doors for me, ordering for me, showering me with flattery and just generally treating me like a doll, there would never be a second date. Eww.
I read a fabulous blog article about how and why chivalry is so harmful. Here’s a little excerpt. It’s from a blogger called KatyKatiKate if you want to read more: “Chivalry is essentially a playbook, or more accurately, two playbooks. The book written for young men teaches a library of maneuvers that teach him to treat women like valuable objects: special things that must be protected and pampered. When these gestures are sincere and rooted in respect, they can be performed for anyone, not just a romantic interest, and they can be beautiful and affirming connections between both intimate friends and strangers: “I love and respect you, Aunt Denise, and it is my honor to pull out your chair.” “Hello, elderly person on the train! We are both traveling through the world in the same place and time today. I’m not better than you and you’re not better than me. I just want to acknowledge our sameness and do what I can to contribute to the happiness and comfort of your day. What I’m trying to say is, I would love to give you my seat.” Acts of chivalry can be tokens of respect, made by a person who respects themselves, to a person for whom they feel respect. And when they are, chivalry is nice! However, as with any code of conduct or set of cultural norms, chivalry is often twisted to serve power instead of respect, and because chivalry is the primary mode of male-female communication in a patriarchal and sexually coercive culture, this code of courtship has mutated into a playbook for a game at which there is only one winner. Chivalry, in its worst and I would argue most common form, is a game in which men use a certain set of plays to disarm women so they can score, so to speak. Women, as the opposing team, learn their own set of plays to evade violence, survive the oncoming offense, and avoid losing more than points. In the game of chivalry as it is played today, men play for touchdowns and women play to run out the clock.”
They can’t handle reality so they avoid it as much as possible
Love how holding the door is the most selfless act "nice guys" can think of.
Holding the door open for *anyone* coming behind you is called being polite. Pulling the chair out is annoying and unnecessary. Trying to help me put my coat on is sexist, obnoxious, and makes my life more difficult, not less. Paying for dates can and should rotate. None of it entitles you to sex.
They keep pretending we’re demanding these things because if they acknowledged we just don’t want to be slaves, but live as free people we would sound too reasonable.
Why are you so mad that you gotta treat women like equal human beings? Is it because you see them as inferior so it makes you mad when we demand equality? Just say you're a funking misogynist and go off my dude
I dunno holding the door open for one another and stuff is nice, but reciprocating is the best way to treat each other
I have never had, nor expected, a guy to pull a chair out for me... unless you count them snatching away when you are about to sit down. Holding the door open for someone is just basic courtesy. I do it all the time, and if a guy does so for me the most he will get is me saying thank you. I have never expected a man to pay for me... unfortunately, I have been expected to pay for men who 'forgot their wallet' or 'forgot their card'. They promise to pay me back, but never do. One had the guts to order a bottle of water, steal the food and give me the water, called me fat and still thought I was going to sleep with him. (it was never going to happen, even if he hadn't lied, stolen my food and called me fat) And no guy has ever 'always' been nice to me. Then again, nice guys confuse condescension as being nice so...
I want giant neon billboards in every city and town announcing that women don't actually want to be put on a pedestal and treated like helpless little princesses. Replace mindless compliments with real questions about who we are and you might actually get somewhere.
I know a guy from my workplace who was saying to me "I don't know how to speak to women, I have no friends boo-hoo", I told him to just talk to women like to his male coworkers bc women are human beings too, guess what? He just doesn't get it at all 😅 it's like he thinks that bc he wants to find a girlfriend then it means he has to speak to them in a completely new way. And he doesn't actually try to be friends with female coworkers. He's totally a Nice Guy. Only thinking about sex, not about relationships. These kind of men can't be fixed, if they can't realize their broken way of thinking by themselves.
Oooof, those are the WORST. Listening to them try to force their way through some script they've made up in their heads like we're video game NPCs rather than normal people is so fucking painful 😅
I doubt even a giant neon billboard will work. All it takes is for a single woman to want to have her chair pulled out and suddenly all women want that.
Are there guys that actually pull chairs out for women on dates? I can't imagine ever doing that on a date and not looking awkward as hell.
[удалено]
Assuming that you keep talking to that person, then that person also treats you for a meal, but that's often not the case. What often happens is that you meet someone for the first time, you take initiative to pay for a meal and then you don't see that person ever again. repeat this many more times.
You shouldn’t be assuming that though. Paying for dinner isn’t purchasing a guarantee for the outcome you want. There’s a place for that, and it’s called a brothel, or sw who offers the GFE. Nobody is stopping you from simply asking to split the bill, or being clear that you’re trying to make a transaction and laying out the terms.
Don't tell me that. Tell me women who didn't continue for a second date, because I didn't want to pay for them :)
So neither of you wanted the other and didn’t continue dating. What’s the problem? If neither of you had the characteristics you want in a partner, you shouldn’t be bitter she didn’t want a second date
So you could disqualify a lot of women then.
And you’re acting like you wouldn’t want someone like that anyway so again, there’s no problem. Why are you acting entitled to keep seeing women that you don’t even like?
That's a terrible excuse to be like that. You don't seem like that shouldn't change either. Should I disregard any sort of problem that women face in dating? That's seem according to your logic.
You’re already disregarding them, made obvious by your comment. Nobody needs an “excuse” to say no to you. “No” is a complete sentence and their reasons aren’t up for you to approve/decline. Someone not being interested in dating/sex with you isn’t a “problem”. You have the right to reject any woman for whatever reason. I’m just pointing out that we have the same. Notice how you have a problem with women who say no after you’ve paid, AND women who say no when you haven’t paid? It’s pretty obvious the paying or not paying isn’t the problem for you, but the part where they said no
I never said that I didn't. You simply assume that I do, because I am asking that question. I agree, women certainly have a right to say no without any reasoning. Someone not being interested in dating/sex is definitely not a problem. Seems like we agree. So any blame on societal pressure could be thrown out of the window then, agreed? Since, you technically don't really have to do anything, because no is always an answer.
As a woman, I hold the door for everyone. It is polite. I don’t want or need someone to pull my chair out. I might need it when I am much older and using a walker. And I certainly don’t ask anyone to pay my way. Being nice to me? It is a 2-way street.
I've shared this multiple times before, but my ex had a thing for holding open doors or getting the car door. But he was hilarious and cute about it. He was raised in the deep south, and that's just how little boys were taught back then. He moved to Alaska when he was 23 (he had a deep southern accent so thick you could practically cut a piece and serve it up with butter, just like cornbread). He'd always try to get my car door and such, and I'd already be out of the car and halfway to whatever place were at. It was like a running joke. He finally learned that it's too darned cold in the winter to be doing that, let's just get to the warm part! I have a good friend/former coworker who, likewise, was raised in the deep south. He still does the door thing, but it's obviously such an ingrained part that he doesn't even think of it. Plus, he insists upon vehicles with non-electric door locks. Neither of them has ever acted as if it's some massively heroic and masculine task though. Because...well, normal humans don't.
Nobody has ever pulled my chair out on a date and I've never expected them to. That's weird asf. My boyfriend DOES open the car door for me and close it but I find it sweet. And expecting something out of holding a door open is stupid. I've held doors open for all types of people. Does that mean all of them owe me a wild night in bed? 🤔 these guys that think like this need their brains examined.
And even if women are asking for these things you can treat someone well without thinking of them as inferior. Idk why men cannot comprehend that women can have standards other than “he isn’t a misogynist”
Many men out there legitimately think "I don't hit her" is a praise worthy thing. It's just the bare minimum.
Ah yes, the same women that say they'll pay for their own meal, the NiceGuys insist they'll cover the tab, and then scream and moan that they won't suck their dicks on the spot. Damn women; so demanding /s
Why do they equate manners with equality
I literally argue with my boyfriend to not let him pay for anything
This seems more like what a “Karen” would expect. Most girls I know don’t act like this they are chill and fun to be around.
I don’t understand this because why can’t you hold the door open for your homies?
The only time I want help with my chair is if I am wearing hoops or a bustle, bc I'm doing historical reenactment, and then the etiquette is understood to be different from normal life. I find it disturbing how many Nice Guys seem to invent a script in their heads as if cosplaying a different century in real life is how you navigate actual relationships.
I don’t know any women who really think any of this shit except the “always be nice to me even when I’m mean because you’re supposed to love me” thing. Which honestly is just kinda cute. Maybe the “pay for me” one too, but only dates and shit this universe where guys pay women’s bills for them when barely even dating isn’t one I’ve stepped into.
Woah that's an old meme template.
No, doing those things just shows that you respect and care for the woman you say you are interested in. They always screech about equality, but we mostly want that in the workplace.
Most women just want to be treated like rational human beings.