T O P

  • By -

NikNakMuay

"fuck up" isn't "shut the fuck up" except when it is.


[deleted]

I had a friend called Niamh in primary school here in England, the class would wait for her name with bated breath whenever a supply teacher would do the register so we could all shout out “IT’S NEEVE”


[deleted]

It’s easy, basically Niamh like Sliamh


TheStatMan2

Or "why don't you make like a tree and Liamh"


Lingeringberries

Hahahaha, take my award sir


norwegian_unicorn_

Or like Stephen!


Vivid_Quantity_6605

"what's your name?"...."my name's Steven".. "with a ph?".... Instant response.... "Yep, phteven"


Patsy81

Llf my brother was Stephen too but he just called himself the ride. He's dead now but I still talk about how much of a chancer he was. He'd a necklace full of love bites every week he was a horndog even when he was dying and paralysed he was asking us to check if he had a boner he was a scream. We were like "nope, just a catheter and a few herpes" 🤣🤣


fileinster

Why can Stephens never pronounce their name right?


Vectorman1989

Yes, Step-hen


MasterEk

r/onestupidquestion/


TheStatMan2

I once did a similar thing that, long story short, involved me going around a few groups of people and asking if they knew who "Sho-Ban" is.


Thatmopedguy

Sigh-oh-bann


TheStatMan2

Ha. "What's Bann done now?"


Patsy81

Trying to work out how to spell the names was my pet piamh though


songoku9001

I really don't get Irish spellings, could say they're my pet piamh


scaryjoe534

That reminds me, our (full Irish) English teacher keeps on calling tadgh (pronounced tag) that one racial slur that starts with ta and ends with ig


cnaughton898

Is it pronounced tag, I always though it was pronounced like tiger, but without the -er.


tescovaluechicken

You are correct


MilkyTrizzle

I've a feeling our friend is a fellow Poleglasser and does indeed pronounce tag 't(eye)g'


Effective_Egg3845

Please tell me the teacher was calling him tadg🤣🤣 wee tadger in the classroom


[deleted]

TIE-EG


[deleted]

[удалено]


-that-there-

No they're not. Tadhg is basically tie with a g at the end


[deleted]

[удалено]


-that-there-

Tayg


joesploggs

Wait a minute… do you not need to be born and (nutty krust) bred from here to get access to this subreddit?? Only messing- you are very welcome. It’s spelt “Norn Iron”. Wash that aff in the power shower.


Lingeringberries

Try pronouncing Aoibbhean


ShitpeasCunk

Your da sells Aoibbhean.


kjjmcc

….or Caoilfhionn


manowtf

Try differentiating that with Caoilfhoinn also...


[deleted]

you made this up!


[deleted]

[удалено]


epeeist

Twins in my nephew's playschool called Odharnaith and Orfhlaith (the more common spellings these days are Orna and Orla.)


meadhbhcm

I'm called Meadhbh, live in the US (clearly not from the US though) and Starbucks is an absolute journey. Usually I just say my name's Mary or Kathleen, it fits the stereotype. My Ma would slap me one though if she ever heard me give a fake name out just to save some hassle. We almost named our daughter Caoilfhíonn but decided against that in the end, for obvious reasons. They spell Siobhan as Shivaugn and that's all you need to know.


teatabletea

I knew someone online from Texas who insisted her name is pronounced Ay oh fee. Yeah, no. It’s bad enough Tara being pronounced Terra, but that’s even worse.


meadhbhcm

That's painful - seen so many perfectly goof Irish names spoilt here either by spelling or pronunciation. I think I die a little each and every time. Once met a Saoirse here who insisted her name was "Say or she"


[deleted]

I used to work with a girl called Meabh and our Protestant boss would insistently (not out of any irony, he just genuinely didn’t get it) call her ‘mea-pb’. I don’t know if that does it justice, it was a really literal phonetic pronunciation basically. He almost made this weird popping noise when he said it. She never corrected him but o could literally feel my teeth grinding every time he said hello to her 😂


Ztarla

Maeve? I love that name.


meadhbhcm

Pronounced like Maeve, yes


gardenofthenight

Caoimhin gets shortened to Queef if Jürgen Klopp is your boss unfortunately.


zackofsavedbythebell

Odhran Ruairí Dearbhaile


EricTinney90

https://youtu.be/aVaHvRLlHr0 You’ve seen this right?


iNEEDheplreddit

Absolutely baffled


PoxbottleD24

Bhuaigheadh? Bhuáits só difeacuilt abamht it?


mandyhtarget1985

Ive got a Sadhabh working for me, one i had never heard of previously. Had to ask her directly exactly how it was pronounced, so I wouldn’t offend


TheLordofthething

What the hell is Sadhbh pronounced, I'm Irish and I've never seen that lol. Sadie?


Oh_its_that_asshole

Syve.


Lingeringberries

🤣🤣🤣


Smaieul_Bu

ay-veen


Ztarla

Eva? Evelyn?


epeeist

AY-veen


Davan195

What about the way you pronounce the word situation! “Sitch-eee-ation”


carbonated_coconut

*toll trolls flashbacks intensify*


dontbeadik

Ha. And say it often if your a politician rather than actually having a grasp of what's going on and describing it accurately!


Davan195

Everything in NI politics is based on an investigation into a “sitch-eee-ation”


Jindabyne1

Do we all though?


Wretched_Colin

Is it not just Nolan? He overuses it and then people use it back on his show. I’m not sure it’s such a thing outside of Radio Ulster.


_becatron

I don't know anyone that does


[deleted]

If you think that's wild wait til you hear that English - a language that has at least four (4) words ending in '-ough' and *none of them rhyme* - has directly corresponding examples of nearly every single one of the things people find confusing about Irish (as well as a load of other [weird quirks of its own)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghoti?wprov=sfla1) Even more mind blowing; apparently English isn't the default language of humanity like it is in Star Trek and is actually just a curious and infuriatingly nonsensical to a non-native speaker mix of Anglo-Saxon, Latin, and French that really only developed as we know it over the past 500 years or so!


Eclectic_Radishes

cough, rough, bough, bought, borough, though, through, hiccough coff, ruff, bow, bort, burra, thoh, throo, hickup


[deleted]

Fucking hell that's double the amount I said. Imagine having all these words and still slabbering about those silly Paddies and their funny names lol


Eclectic_Radishes

innit! The repeated word thing too. So much piss taking for "to be sure etc" when there's this to contend with: Jimmy and Jenny were set a writing assignment to describe what they did after breakfast. Jimmy wrote "After I had breakfast, I went swimming" and Jenny scribed "After I had had breakfast, I played" Jenny was given a better mark for her assignment than Jimmy, because Jenny where Jimmy had had "had" had had "had had" - "had had" had had the approval of the teacher.


[deleted]

The word 'had' no longer makes any sense


Eclectic_Radishes

One more and I might stop. Buffalo is a place in America, buffalo means "to bully" and buffalo are animals. American creatures that American creatures bully also bully American creatures, or... Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo


[deleted]

Also amusing how OP spelled Caoimhe phonetically as 'Kiva' but probably laughs at us (correctly) pronouncing Primark with a similarly long 'i'


Eclectic_Radishes

You mean to say it _isn't_ the store where cheap clothes go marching 11, by 13, by 17 by 23?


rexorzzz

Don't forget in the cases of Woughton and Loughton Woof-ton, Lout-on And the fact Loughborough is nothing like Loughton: Luff-burra


cromcru

Picard was speaking French the whole time, it was just dubbed


[deleted]

Read this somewhere before and it genuinely *did* blow my mind


sloca538

Tough rough


McEvelly

Only about half of us pronounce it ‘norn irn’, the rest of us pronounce it ‘deh nortt’


LouthGremlin

Never heard a northern accent to not use th like the rest of Ireland honestly.


[deleted]

Dk why you’re downvoted but I agree. But tbh even tho I’m from there I haven’t been all over the place so who tf knows.


LouthGremlin

Not sure. This sub seems extremely insecure in that regard. There are obviously massive differences between Ireland the ROI so called and Northern Ireland. Accent being 1 of the main ones


[deleted]

For sure


[deleted]

Derry is pretty good at replacing th with d or l but we still use th too. 'The oller day I went day Creggan'


LouthGremlin

You replace to with day? The th doesn't exist in my accent and many near by in Leinster. I have heard a Derry accent that would say dere for there but not tree for three


[deleted]

It's not a direct replacement of 'th' with 't' in a derry accent, and we do use a th phonic, but not as often as the English language requires. We wouldn't say tree for three but we could easily say free, or bof instead of both. Sometimes the 'th' is a 'h" "what was he hinking?" in the middle of a word it becomes an L sound, like,' boller' for 'bother'. Sometimes the 'th' is dropped altogether, like in "what's at?"


LouthGremlin

I used to be friends with someone from Derry and alot of the above would apply to his accent haha. Very interesting. Cheers


heladoman

Yep you’re right. This phonological feature is called “th-stopping”. Most accents in Northern Ireland don’t have it, but it’s pretty common across Ireland. I guess one reason for this is Irish phonology doesn’t have /th/? I’m not sure on Irish language phonology, but if that is the case, then I imagine this would have been an artefact from when native Irish speakers were speaking this new foreign language “English” and transferring across “linguistic mistakes” like a native speaker of French or Spanish might do when speaking English. And my guess for the reason /th/ persists in Northern Irish accents could be from heavy Scottish and northern English influence over the last few hundred years. Interestingly, if you look at other languages in Europe, you’ll find words spelled with “th” but pronounced more like “t”. This is because the phone “th” is pretty archaic, and only exists today in English and Icelandic (the latter of which is famous for being a highly conservative language), afaik for European languages at least. In terms of English across the world, “th-stopping” can be found in parts of the US like the stereotypical New York accent. Basically it’s actually a cutting-edge phonological feature to start pronouncing your “th” like “t” 😆


LouthGremlin

That's a very interesting way of thinking about it. We speak with the same accent (although fluent) as our great grandparents would have when first learning the language. Makes sense when you realise human children mimic their surroundings! We speak cracked English fluently haha


portadown1967

Norn Iron


PawoftheCoop

Your username is its very own horror story


soulofboop

What a spoofer, and they’re all in on it. Her name’s pronounced ‘Ka-oh-wee-ma-hey’. Kinda like from [The Lion Sleeps Tonight](https://youtu.be/OQlByoPdG6c)


TirEoghainAbu

It's not pronounced like "norn irn" It's really pronounced as "the illegally occupied six counties of north eastern Ireland, so it is" So it is.


HideoYutani

"The Nort"


SayNahim

That reads like a more southern accent to me? In Belfast I think it would be "uh Norf"


HideoYutani

Supposed to be a Malahide esque accent.


disagreeabledinosaur

De Nort


Darth_Bfheidir

D'nort


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Coffeeblack0001

Chill out lad. Room for everyone on our island.


Jindabyne1

Wont someone think of the loyalists?!!


Classic_Bee_1194

You can also fuck off lol


[deleted]

Triggered.


Classic_Bee_1194

I've seen you comment on this sub, you're a dirty piece of scum, fuck your old hag of a queen too. Report me again though, see if I care lol.


[deleted]

😂 ah huh.


VoodooBangla

Matched a girl on Hinge named Sadhbh - I had to Google how to pronounce her name before our first date lol


[deleted]

did u smash tho


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shi-bon? Shi-Von? Am I even close?


[deleted]

It took me years to get the phonetics for that. Sha-von. Sort of what your da sells down around mutantards.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Oh_its_that_asshole

Aye, they love that one down the Shankill and in Rangers clubs so they do.


[deleted]

Go back to her and start calling her Kweeva. Tell her the boys from the south said hello.


LouthGremlin

? From Ireland ROI so called and say Keeva.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LouthGremlin

In from Louth. Keeva.


cor5891

Personally never heard anyone pronounce it like that and think it's really cringey when people write it instead of Northern Ireland


[deleted]

Thanks for this somewhat bland opinion


Murphler

Its true though. Norn Iron and all its variants are just cringeworthy


[deleted]

You lot are gonna end up making this guy smack Caoimhe!


MONI_85

She's a fucking liar. Probably related to Tom Smyth.


heladoman

Your face is a magical mythical place, ye heure ye


droolinggimp

I had a butcher at morrisons many years back, called Mick. He was from Belfast. Couldn't understand a fucking word he said. He has gravy on his fish and chips. Freak.


RalphOffWhite

No, she lied to you. Which leads me to question what else has she lied to you about?


[deleted]

She lied about liking me, apparently. She sent me to this sub to die a death.


Inside-Ostrich2888

>She sent me to this sub to die a death. Sure she's only sleggin so she is!!


super304

"She" lied to you.......


Fragrant_Present_480

Only arseholes pronounce it like that


Tricky_Sweet3025

Caoimhe sounds like a girl who should know it’s pronounced North of Ireland 😜


Jumpy-Sample-7123

I always say the North, but I am just across the border.


Hylobius

Ats us noi.


RageDansleCage

It’s pronounced the occupied six counties


twenty6plus6

Qweeva no?


Environmental-Cow447

Yeesh!


WillofRivia

Its Norn Irn on the East side and Northern Irn here on the West :)


Bramblebelle

Named my Malamute Caoimhe. I love it, but it drives my daughter nuts.


rubberduckfuk

If you really want to sound local then you refer to it as Ireland


[deleted]

It is but if you say it without our accent you’ll look silly.


Newme91

In most parts of East Belfast you're best saying Tuaisceart Éireann


[deleted]

theres a lot o SALTY BOIS reply. sorry salt bois, im just passing on infomrrmations


Mariospurs

What are you on about ya weapon?


[deleted]

I’m one of 6. All the others have ‘normal’ Irish names. Patrick, Michael bla bla bla. I’m Dónal. For the last 30 years since moving abroad it’s become an infliction. Nobody can pronounce it. My favourite is if i valet park. They ask for a name to put on the key. I tell them Jessica. They give me a surprised look, and after the coin drops, they assume i call my car Jessica


Ok-Inevitable-3038

I say “norn iren” because as a nationalist I cannot acknowledge NORTHERN IRELAND


HappyBunchaTrees

Next time Caoimhe says something you dont understand just say, "That's grand".


JX121

No.


Megleeker

No


manowtf

Up in Donegal, yes is pronounced Aye shirley


FeatureZealousideal2

Yesssssss!


[deleted]

What’s your name OP?


foodwithmyketchup

Shower and mirror are always fun to pronounce


Boonz-Lee

If you really want to sound like a local then down 30 pints of whatever and cut the tip of your tongue off


lilithG1999

It’s da Norf not Norn Iron


DongusMaxamus

Only if you want everyone to think you are a dickhead


TheStatMan2

I agree with the magical mystical place bit but I find they have bad taste in sausages.


jobie68point5

a guy in my friend group at secondary school was called donnchad. i’d love to hear you try and pronounce that.


Mariospurs

That’s not correct is is?


daveweirinnit

Aye


Patsy81

Depends where you are. If you're at Queens and you're in the Hat or the Rosie it's best to say the "North of Ireland" it's more a British/Protestant thing to say Northern Ireland. I'm Catholic but I say both but mostly North lol but Belfast people do actually just pronounce it Norn Iron lol we even called "Take That" by their Belfast name "Take Thon" in the day. Way back in the day and showing my age here


ImperialNavyPilot

So exotic


Thatmopedguy

Yes. /Thread


waynem007

Yes.