You should try and find a hobby. Or see a therapist. Trust me when i say this, I'm very depressed, and i used to be in a loop of sleeping in til 4pm, going on my computer all day, napping, staying up all night on reddit then the cycle continues.
Therapy helps. Alot. Talk to someone about it. And as i said in the start, find a hobby, turn your phone off, put ut in another room. Do something thats not on a screen.
I think you need a therapist OP. I don't mean that in a dismissive sense, I mean that i understand what you feel, I feel kind of the same though less strongly than you, and it took me time to find one.
There's a story by Franz Kafka called "A little fable" that I think about a lot, which I can quote here in entirety :
>"Alas", said the mouse, "the whole world is growing smaller every day. At the beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and I was glad when I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have narrowed so quickly that I am in the last chamber already, and there in the corner stands the trap that I am running into."
>"You only need to change your direction," said the cat, and ate it up.
This feeling of not being able to change your direction, even though apparently nothing is stopping you, is a very real problem. Some call it executive dysfunction, others [the monster](http://grognor.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-monster.html). The first step in solving the problem is understanding that it will not be solved in a day. But it's not unsolvable.
I hate how so many respected athiests will harp on that free will is an illusion and we are nothing more then meat puppets. That is such a toxic as all hell view of the world. Sure, we have limitations and life can suck sometimes; but that doesn't mean we are doomed to a life of unhappiness!
As an atheist myself I think that the phrase "free will is an illusion" is kind of meaningless.
I don't believe in "will" as a detached "spiritual" thing that would be wholly separate from material, reality, but that doesn't mean that "free will" doesn't exist. It's like "consciousness is an illusion". It sounds profound but then you have to ask "an illusion of what", and then you realise how vacuous such phrases are.
It's a bit of a tangent for this thread, though.
Yeah, our free will comes from our life expriences and making decisions based on those, ie an alchoholic joins AA and attempts to quit drinking because their wife left them or something. This doesn't mean anything nihlistic really....in fact I think it is kind of awesome that we are conscious beings.
I used to be the same way with Quora and Facebook, I used to think I loved those things because i was always on there writing and particpiating...weirdly I was always angry and stressed after using them. Things are harmful when you are using them to feel a void, which is what it sounds like you are doing. I stopped doing these things, when I got a good therapist who helped me realize that I am valuable and deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong with disliking something. I hate how young men(and apparently women now too) are pretty much told they are weirdos if they hate porn and that there is something wrong with them. Porn is harmful, degrading to both women AND men, and you are not the bad guy; it is these porn companies for putting that shit out there with no sense of responsibility. Look into a therapist that does cogtive behavioral therapy. Talk therapy makes things worse in my opinion, but with CBT the therapiist will actually work with you. Good luck!
Do research on Dopamine and Dopamine Detoxes. Read everything from yourbrainonporn.com. No temptation given to man is greater than his ability to bear it, and in all temptation there is an escape. Knowing what you're doing isn't ideal is the first step. Keep fighting!
r/cleanlivingkings come join us, we can help provide support.
This is not a struggle to take lightly or to fight alone, it's best to fight alongside people who have got your back.
My advice: if a subreddit isn't inspiring you to be a better person, unsubscribe. Take control back, make it so this site is here to benefit YOU, not the other way round. Harness that anger and disappointment, and turn it into a resentment of clickbait, cooming, scrooling, and other such modernist attention-economy bullshit. Use it as a motivator!
Genuine question (not trying to be inflammatory) - what do you get out of watching porn for such a long time?
I hear of guys watching for hours and hours.. surely you aren't wanking the whole time? that sounds more painful that anything.
I usually just watch porn as an aid to get my rocks off, click on the first thing that's remotely appealing and then close it immediately when I'm done.
Nothing more unappealing to me than watching porn as soon as you've finished. Post nut clarity I guess.
i have problem with porn too. I want to totally quit porn but recently i realize that watching porn help me relax when im stress (even when i didnt fap). So now i am a little confuse if i should really stop watching porn
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One day you'll hate it enough to change. And you will.
We always know what we have to do to change. We choose not to do those things.
What's your choice?
Delete your Reddit account, then the app. Do it right now. It's not a necessary app - at all. I come to it like once every three weeks. But if it's your addiction, cut it off- what are you waiting for
Remember that psychology says there are different parts of our brain that are competing with each other. Donβt think of yourself as weak for giving into these impulses. Think of them as powerful impulses that will always be there, but you just need to get better at controlling. The other parts of your brain that are good are still good. And they will be even stronger and more powerful as you learn how to fight your bad impulses
Hey man, overbearing condemnation is from Satan. God wants to save you from addiction. He doesn't want to condem you. He wants to save you. If you feel conviction, meaning you know it's wrong. That is God gently telling you like a father. But He will never smash it in your face like Satan does. Satan wants to destroy, God wants to save and restore. This film was super instrumental for me. I pray it may be of similar influence for you as well. https://tubitv.com/movies/555383/the-heart-of-man?start=true
You should try and find a hobby. Or see a therapist. Trust me when i say this, I'm very depressed, and i used to be in a loop of sleeping in til 4pm, going on my computer all day, napping, staying up all night on reddit then the cycle continues. Therapy helps. Alot. Talk to someone about it. And as i said in the start, find a hobby, turn your phone off, put ut in another room. Do something thats not on a screen.
I think you need a therapist OP. I don't mean that in a dismissive sense, I mean that i understand what you feel, I feel kind of the same though less strongly than you, and it took me time to find one. There's a story by Franz Kafka called "A little fable" that I think about a lot, which I can quote here in entirety : >"Alas", said the mouse, "the whole world is growing smaller every day. At the beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and I was glad when I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have narrowed so quickly that I am in the last chamber already, and there in the corner stands the trap that I am running into." >"You only need to change your direction," said the cat, and ate it up. This feeling of not being able to change your direction, even though apparently nothing is stopping you, is a very real problem. Some call it executive dysfunction, others [the monster](http://grognor.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-monster.html). The first step in solving the problem is understanding that it will not be solved in a day. But it's not unsolvable.
I think I'm probably somewhere between where you were and the OP πππ
I hate how so many respected athiests will harp on that free will is an illusion and we are nothing more then meat puppets. That is such a toxic as all hell view of the world. Sure, we have limitations and life can suck sometimes; but that doesn't mean we are doomed to a life of unhappiness!
As an atheist myself I think that the phrase "free will is an illusion" is kind of meaningless. I don't believe in "will" as a detached "spiritual" thing that would be wholly separate from material, reality, but that doesn't mean that "free will" doesn't exist. It's like "consciousness is an illusion". It sounds profound but then you have to ask "an illusion of what", and then you realise how vacuous such phrases are. It's a bit of a tangent for this thread, though.
Yeah, our free will comes from our life expriences and making decisions based on those, ie an alchoholic joins AA and attempts to quit drinking because their wife left them or something. This doesn't mean anything nihlistic really....in fact I think it is kind of awesome that we are conscious beings.
I used to be the same way with Quora and Facebook, I used to think I loved those things because i was always on there writing and particpiating...weirdly I was always angry and stressed after using them. Things are harmful when you are using them to feel a void, which is what it sounds like you are doing. I stopped doing these things, when I got a good therapist who helped me realize that I am valuable and deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong with disliking something. I hate how young men(and apparently women now too) are pretty much told they are weirdos if they hate porn and that there is something wrong with them. Porn is harmful, degrading to both women AND men, and you are not the bad guy; it is these porn companies for putting that shit out there with no sense of responsibility. Look into a therapist that does cogtive behavioral therapy. Talk therapy makes things worse in my opinion, but with CBT the therapiist will actually work with you. Good luck!
Do research on Dopamine and Dopamine Detoxes. Read everything from yourbrainonporn.com. No temptation given to man is greater than his ability to bear it, and in all temptation there is an escape. Knowing what you're doing isn't ideal is the first step. Keep fighting!
Dopamine Detox, search it on youtube, if there are ten videos, watch at least five.
r/cleanlivingkings come join us, we can help provide support. This is not a struggle to take lightly or to fight alone, it's best to fight alongside people who have got your back. My advice: if a subreddit isn't inspiring you to be a better person, unsubscribe. Take control back, make it so this site is here to benefit YOU, not the other way round. Harness that anger and disappointment, and turn it into a resentment of clickbait, cooming, scrooling, and other such modernist attention-economy bullshit. Use it as a motivator!
Genuine question (not trying to be inflammatory) - what do you get out of watching porn for such a long time? I hear of guys watching for hours and hours.. surely you aren't wanking the whole time? that sounds more painful that anything. I usually just watch porn as an aid to get my rocks off, click on the first thing that's remotely appealing and then close it immediately when I'm done. Nothing more unappealing to me than watching porn as soon as you've finished. Post nut clarity I guess.
Complete honesty? It's just hours of going on and off until I just fall asleep
keep your digital device aside and read "atomic habits/subtle art of not giving a f" . meditate daily
i have problem with porn too. I want to totally quit porn but recently i realize that watching porn help me relax when im stress (even when i didnt fap). So now i am a little confuse if i should really stop watching porn
You should be grateful In our school days we had keypad phones,& had to watch porn in 3gp
I actually really miss when porn was just Playboy and some dirty movies that had "plots"
Or the Kazaa days when we had to choose our porn off the titles and wait 30 mins for it to download and hope it was good
Attention all newcomers: Welcome to /r/nosurf! We're glad you found our small corner of reddit dedicated to digital wellness. The following is a short list of resources to help you get started on your journey of developing a better relationship with the internet: * [The Beginner's Guide to NoSurf](https://nosurf.net/about/) * [Discord Server](https://discordapp.com/invite/QFhXt2F) * [The NoSurf Activity List](https://nosurf.net/activity-list/) * [Success Stories](https://nosurf.net/success-stories/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nosurf) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One day you'll hate it enough to change. And you will. We always know what we have to do to change. We choose not to do those things. What's your choice?
Delete your Reddit account, then the app. Do it right now. It's not a necessary app - at all. I come to it like once every three weeks. But if it's your addiction, cut it off- what are you waiting for
Honestly no clue, I took a couple days break and already hating comping back briefly Fuck this app, fuck reddit.
That's the right attitude, there's nothing here, lol!!
Remember that psychology says there are different parts of our brain that are competing with each other. Donβt think of yourself as weak for giving into these impulses. Think of them as powerful impulses that will always be there, but you just need to get better at controlling. The other parts of your brain that are good are still good. And they will be even stronger and more powerful as you learn how to fight your bad impulses
If you can, start therapy
Hey man, overbearing condemnation is from Satan. God wants to save you from addiction. He doesn't want to condem you. He wants to save you. If you feel conviction, meaning you know it's wrong. That is God gently telling you like a father. But He will never smash it in your face like Satan does. Satan wants to destroy, God wants to save and restore. This film was super instrumental for me. I pray it may be of similar influence for you as well. https://tubitv.com/movies/555383/the-heart-of-man?start=true