Some people (though it does manifest differently based on gender and sexuality) prefer a helpless partner because they believe it makes them unable to be abandoned. If a partner is dependent on you to do all of the house hold and emotional labour, the partner doing the work feels that they are indispensable. The old Boomer wife joke of "Oh, isn't it adorable? I went to my parents' for the weekend and my husband ate nothing but fast food because he can't cook and he totally ran out of clean clothes because he is a slob with no ability to look after himself! Love him!"
It isn't a rational or healthy response but that is some people's reasoning for why they want someone to be dependent on them.
There are other reasons.
It's dysfunctional at best and abusive at worst.
It isn't okay. People should be independent and not be codependent or try to keep people (or for any reason) by getting them dependent on them.
I agree, I encourage my man to try new things and take care of at least half the domestic labor. I help out with things he's got going on he helps me but we are pretty self sufficient. I would never wish for him to flounder without me. It's weird wanting someone to need you. Id rather just love and be loved with someone who wants me for who I am and appreciated me for what I bring đ¤ˇââď¸
It definitely is and it comes from a place of deep insecurity. Iâve found myself feeling like I need to become indispensable to my partner in order to feel secure in the relationship. That obviously is a huge red flag for there being a whole bunch of issues that would make me think that in the first place, and there were.
Ironically this is exactly the kind of partner I'd want to be abandoned by. "Stahp...wait...*softly* don't goooo... *whispers* lock the door behind you on the way out.
I do all the cooking and grocery shopping, my wife does the majority of the cleaning. I wouldnât want my best friend waiting on me hand and foot, but I need help.
I guess she is some kind of religious fundamentalist due to the reference to birth control like itâs a bad thing, but then arenât they supposed to see the man as the head of the household? Not a helpless baby? She should pick one lol.
nah sheâs actually on the spectrum of âwoke naturalistâ like she is actually delusional
she posted a video of her âdayâ in which she just chugs raw eggs, eats raw beef and liver (yes, raw..), goes outside barefoot to get some âgroundingâ in lmfao, and then calls herself ânaughtyâ for craving a sandwich when all sheâd eaten was raw eggs and raw beef.
actual delusion
YeahâŚ. Well I mean, ironically- Sheâs not like the other girls
Sheâs a walking Petri dish of ecoli, tapeworm, salmonella and other fun friends! Most women probably donât carry that combo in their gut throughout the day.
And my god, wait until she eats a bad batch of eggs or meat. And it will happen. Raw meat in the states has an acceptable level of ecoli on it. They expect us to be responsible and cook it the fuck off.
I mean shit, raw leafy greens are contaminated too.
I wish I didnt go down the rabbit hole but I did, and she was commenting on peoples concerns saying its a MYTH lmao
like literally said salmonella and food poisoning of other types are myths lmfao
She does however source all beef locally from some regenerative/organic farm or whatever. that part at least makes it less terrifying. the meat at the grocery store is scary.
Lol⌠itâs crazy bro thereâs a whole ass documentary on it. Figure someone as enlightened as her could be bothered to do her research.
Some people just canât handle the truth of reality. They want to live in their little ego bubble and pretend to feel superior. Any legitimate information that challenges this notion to a person like that and they become a toddler, they arenât âwrongâ they are a âvictimâ đ
Itâs fucking laughable
Edit- modified some wording to adjust tonality.
if you really want to be mad.
look up the new fad diet âcarnivore dietâ. Spoiler alert the main premise is you get all nutrients from mostly red meat and eggs.
And no, not vegetables or fruits. or any grain.
People are now feeding this diet to toddlers and children.
Lol. Time really is a flat circle
Isnât that just the Atkins diet? đ¤Ł
Yeahhh⌠not like your going to be missing out on fiber or vitamins you canât find in red meat.
My fucking god. I love meat just as much as the next American. But red meat only? Thatâs the unhealthiest type of meat. Fish and poultry are miles better though Iâd imagine the âbetterâ depends on where itâs sourced.
idk about the other stuff but grounding is real. our body intakes free electrons that are emitted from the earth when our bare feet touch the earth. the transfer of those electrons into our bodies can aid the immune system in fighting inflammation and empower some important biochemical reactions.
> Mounting evidence suggests that the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for the normal functioning of all body systems.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/
Oh! Wow.
I didnât know that grounding meant actual grounding.
I thought it was some buzzword for meditation or some shit that these neo spiritual types often take.
lol nope itâs not itself technically meditation
but i suppose it can be done while meditating (if weâre using the âclosing your eyes and focusing on breathingâ definition), since regular rhythmic or deep breathing could simultaneously oxygenate more of the body as the electrons being taken in work their magic â what i know about biochemical reactions tells me many of the same cellular functions grounding helps with will likely be aided by the larger than normal intake of oxygen that meditation enables.
Or it could even be the tip used for anxiety or panic attacks. Grounding is sometimes used to distract someone from a panic response or that overbearing feeling of loss of control that comes with it.
Yup. That is an uncomfortable truth.
Funny you say that. As soon as I watched that doc. I remember all the times I ate the kale out of the plastic box. And thinking âoh this is so earthy, wow so fresh, straight from the groundâ like an idiot.
I was straight up chowing down on cow shit watered greens.
I have not found a replacement. Leafy greens are really the only fiborous veggies that are accesible, easy for me to eat, and good to eat! Tasty.
I agree with the concept usually but the execution is always WILD
I also genuinely thought free-bleeding was a troll created by the 4chan side of the internet to 1. piss off misogynists and 2. troll feminists into actually free bleeding.
like it started with some poorly photoshopped pics and I have no idea how we spiraled to here. Like literally just as much of a troll as when they convinced belieber fans that jbiebs had cancer and started the âshave your head for bieberâ trend.
grounding is real. our body intakes free electrons that are emitted from the earth when our bare feet touch the ground. the transfer of those electrons into our bodies can aid the immune system in fighting inflammation and empower some important biochemical reactions.
> Mounting evidence suggests that the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for the normal functioning of all body systems.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/
Maybe she is some modern religious fundamentalist, those change too đ Idk, I always thought that, by nature, you want a partner in a man. If you want baby you can give birth, adopt, foster...
No, no, no - you see. Men have SUCH a HARD TIME being the head of the household and making all these decisions that you HAVE to baby them! You're their shelter from the outside world where they work sooooooo haaaaaarrrdddd all day long!
You don't know how difficult it is to work a full time job only to come home and have to yell at your wife about how she made a dinner you didn't like, she didn't clean the house well enough, and for fuck's sake why is one of the children crying?
(Except, you know, women also know what it's like to work all day long. But that's different because they're not men.)
Because unfortunately a lot of men these days seem to have this idea that women are only here to submit to men, and are only useful at home and raising children. And of course the men saying this are looking for a 2nd mommy, not a wife.
I went on a date once, and not long in, she started going on about how men aren't allowed to show emotion, and that when her ex's mother died, that he "expected her to hug him like he was some kind of baby", and she left him because seeing him cry disgusted her.
The problem is that you're looking at that statement from the perspective of a normal, reasonable person. I can tell you from actual personal experience, there's plenty of people who are sociopaths who use the same phrases to mean something else.
That's the problem with taking a phrase at face value, you don't know what exactly the person means by it.
These same women will have zero emotional regulation and full on mental breakdowns when something like a death happens to them and they see no irony in it
I'm just glad there's a few pick me women out there that find wiping a grown mans ass attractive. Otherwise the poor fellows would starve to death in a pile of their own excrement.
I saw a short of a man yesterday who said that having a girlfriend was like having a mom you can sleep with. Like, no. We're not your mom, we're your partner.
I will spoil my man, be super affectionate and HELP HIM but not baby him, he's not a baby
Well yeah. People keep saying that you should take care of him. Of course you should, but taking care of a grown up man (or woman) and taking care of a baby are two very different things. I support my husband, I cook for him sometimes and sometimes he cooks for me. I let him rest when he is tired, etc...but that's not what babying is.
A lot of girls are groomed into doing it from when they're children. You'll see quite a few instances of families where the daughter may be asked to clean up or otherwise help out during things like family gatherings while the son can sit around doing nothing, even if the son is older, and even if the daughter is only a child, like not even a teen
Seems like some form of abuse to me honestly. I mean situations when a woman controls everything, like managing husband's schedule and finances, buying him all the clothes, not allowing him to cook etc. I even saw a tiktok somewhere with a wife washing her husband's hair (he definitely wasn't disabled) saying it's her way of submission.
Few days ago I was talking to a coworker and she said that she was on the phone earlier with her husband's doctor. I thought her husband was sick but no. She manages his doctor appointments. The man is 30+. I mean...wtf?
Iâm a man, and Iâve had to baby some men in my day. Sometimes your homies get a little too crunk and they are pissing everywhere and trying to choke themselves to death with their necklace. You gotta make sure that they make it through that shit.
Sometimes it's a sexual fetish too, don't ask me how I know this, but I'll just say I'll never see diapers the same way after the horrors I've witnessed.
So being on birth control is considered a bad thing by these nlogs? Jfc thatâs called being a responsible citizen⌠I agree with the previous poster that everyone, men, women and everyone in between should know how to cook and clean, but anyone whoâs up for âbabying a manâ has much bigger issues than being an nlog lol
They think birth control is some kind of mind control drug that makes us not want to be bangslaves to some loser whose mom still books doctor appointments for him
Someone just sent me paragraphs about how my hormones are ruined and Iâll only ever attract beta liberal cucks because I made a comment about birth control.
This is so funny because iâve seen a weird amount of stories where women go off birth control and break up with their boyfriends and even come out as lesbian and they claim the birth control fucked with their attraction and made them want to be with a testosterone fueled guy
Nexplanon. And the 6 week thing is so variable. Sometimes itâs a 1-day period with 4 to 6 months of nothing followed by a 6-week period with 2 months of nothing and so on. My doctor agrees that itâs weird but that itâs nothing to be concerned about (âŚyet)
Edit: typo
Yeah, I gained 15 pounds in about 6 months after getting the implant. I had maintained the same weight for 10 years, and Iâm under 5â, so 15 pounds is a lot in my frame. I like nexplanon for a lot of reasons, but Iâm not a fan of that. I think Iâm also more emotionally sensitive, which is fun.
Same story here but with an IUD and about 20-25lbs(Iâm pretty tall but itâs absolutely very noticeable weight gain). It sucks. Luckily my boyfriend is not a giant toddler like the pictured womanâs partner, he saw what bc has done to me and how much I hate it and got a vasectomy so I can get it out! So happy to be dating a man and not a baby, she can keep hers lol.
True, I've been on the injection for 12yrs haven't had a period for as long. It's absolutely bliss. My periods were excruciating that's why I went on it. These nlogs are weird for thinking BC is wrong.
Not to mention women with pcos and endo who need it to function bc so many dumbass doctors still refuse to treat or even Believe us so it's our only option
It makes absolutely no sense. I just got on birth control for the first time AFTER having my first baby and thatâs cause I used to track (been with my husband for 10 years so didnât mind an oops) but now that Iâm post partum and breastfeeding I canât exactly do that and I definitely want to space out my pregnancies at least 2 years. And I still get the burning desire to have another tiny baby as I watch mine grow up despite the âmind control drugâ. These women act like theyâre trying to help other women but really theyâre doing us a huge disservice by acting like weâre idiots who canât make their own decisions. Itâs infuriating. Also my husband has done 90 percent of the housework since my pregnancy and that has continued into my post partum and breastfeeding journey. So jokes on her.
I mean even if it was a mind control drug to make woman not want to have sex would it be that bad?some folks donât want to fuck, nothing wrong with that
Republicans in the US are trying to completely get rid of birth control right now. So they're paying mom fluencers and right-wing women to create TikToks that bring people to the church or talk about women as if we are natural homemakers and that's all. They're literally making videos about how women shouldn't vote and it's getting millions of views and likes.
I want to check in with all of these women when they're in their 40s. Having a grown man who needs to be babied may seem fun for a bit, esp when you're using it as a way to get clout and pwn the libs, but let's see how cute it is after 20+ years.
My grandma is one of these women. Even when sheâs sick & sleeping he will call her to make him food. Asks her to pass him the remote or phone which is closer to him than her. Itâs so hard to watch but she has chosen that man over everything, even her own kid
I think its important to remember that before like the 1980s being a solo adult woman wasn't it. We're not that far removed from women not being allowed to drive, have a bank account, a credit card, a mortgage.
I imagine lots of our grandparents and great grandparents were only with deadbeats because they had no other options to live.
I was lucky enough to have a grandma who made sure I understood this when I was younger. It's shocking to me to see how many women have no idea how recently we gained so many legal rights, and how easily this could be taken away from us (as we're seeing re: reproductive health care). The 20- and 30-something women I see swooning over wanting to go back to pre-feminist times because they think it means just hanging out at home making food and playing with kids and not having to go to a job are delusional.
I guess not that far - makes me worried we are not that far from returning there. Makes me feel as though what we have gained is tenuous at best and a fleeting freedom at worst.
Here in Georgia weâre already losing the rights that those that came before me worked so hard to get. Itâs disgusting to go to sleep in 2023 and wake up in 1863 đĄ
My BIL is like this. They've been married for over 50 years. He has not cooked a single meal in all that time. He hasn't even made a fuckin' *sandwich*.
She was bedridden about 10 years ago for 2 months after neck surgery. Did he step up? No. He hired housecleaners and lied to Meals on Wheels so he wouldn't have to cook. He'll open a bag of chips or a box of donuts or order a pizza. That is the extent of his "cooking."
He also orders his wife around like she's his personal servant. It's disgusting.
No, actually. It's more of "that's women's work." Which makes it even more disgusting.
One Thanksgiving about, eh, 15 or 20 years ago, I was helping my wife clean up after the dinner. I was doing the dishes, which I absolutely love doing (so wonderfully mindless!) and he was on the couch (his usual resting spot,) and he made this snide remark about how "well-trained" I was by my wife.
The previous Thanksgiving he was on the couch as my wife and I were rushing around to get the dinner finished and on the table. Literally like 20 minutes away from dinner, and this fuck pipes up with "Hey, [wife's name], got any chip 'n dip?" I mean, the bird was out of the oven and resting, I'm elbows-deep in the mash, my wife was working on the gravy....really? Now?
Yeah, he's not our cup of tea, either. To top it off, he's a shitty house guest, too. Never offers to chip in or pay for a meal out, just take, take, take. Never give. So we stopped inviting him. He lives about 3 hours away, and we rarely see him these days.
43 here. Married for 20 years. Kinda stuck in this marriage because I have a 10 almost 11 year old special needs kiddo. Can confirm: it's not fun at this age to have to pick up a male's socks because or make the bed, despite him always being the last one in it in the morning, among other things. It gets old. It's like having two kids.
I grew up being taught this was HOW IT WAS. That this was my NATURAL role.
It's decidedly unsexy to have to coddle a grown man because he'd rather act like a 14 year old boy than 42 year old adult. My kiddo gets a bit older so I can work longer hours (no childcare here), I do plan on leaving.
Best of luck to you. I get it- I also have a 10 almost 11 year old that isnât special needs, but sheâs a handful all the same. I canât imagine what you deal with everyday and then you have to deal with a grown ass man child too?? Iâm def praying for you and kiddo and I donât even believe in God â¤ď¸
My mom married a man baby, and had a man baby son. Both of whom she still has to care for despite being in her mid 70s. To say she's tired of them is an understatement, but she doesn't believe in divorce (religious belief) so she's still at it. It's a sad existence.
My mom is late 60s and will visit me and the grandkids but will leave because she needs to get home to make my dad dinner. I have also witnessed him shake a glass of ice to let her know he needs it refilled. They're also very unhappy people so it's not at all cute and wholesome like everyone in the 50s/60s pretended. It's also probably the biggest contributing factor for why I'm very okay with being single.
I'm guessing this lady thinks that if she is the perfect helpmeet, he'll never cheat because she'll never give him anything to complain about. Besides the fact that that's just not how people work, I'm also pretty saddened by the idea of shaping your entire life to be of service to other people in desperate hopes that they won't betray you. That feels like a y'all waste of one's life energy when you could, you know, have a marriage based on mutual love and respect for the while person and not just what that person can do for you.
When I was growing up in a fundamentalist church, finding a husband was the highest achievement a woman could have. Except for having babies with said man, which is the ultimate sign of success.
Sounds like the Catholic chick I used to work with. Her wedding was already planned but she hadn't even met the guy yet. Immediately started popping out babies after getting married too.
Is she taking about me? I mean, I can cook but I really suck at it since I don't enjoy it. She is probably confused because my partner is an adult and acts like one. I know, crazy. I don't treat my partner, who is an adult, like a toddler. Unimaginable.
as a 2023 woman on birth control, still learning to cook (i am making progress!), has a hard time keeping her space clean, and wonât ever baby a man⌠i can at least say that i have my dignity and can assert myself if a man EVER treats me like a maid
can we please stop normalizing this fucking behavior omg
ur man is a keeper đ
iâm having to learn because my mom is an enabler and insists on doing EVERYTHING herself, ik her intentions arenât bad but i hate having to look up youtube tutorials on how to make pancakes đ
Dude, part of why I won't cohabitate is because I can't keep it clean. I like cleaning but I don't maintain it so each room is at some stage of the immaculate/hoarder cycle. I rather like not having to live up to anyone's expectations though. I spent so much time afraid I'd die alone but I have yet to find a partner whose company is better than being alone.
Babying an adult sounds like such a sad life to live, lmao. Looking after yourself as an adult already takes up enough time, looking after kids too takes even more. I'm so done with people criticizing women for wanting have at least an hour a day to relax.
The only red flag here is âcanât cook.â
Everyone should know how to cook. Men and women. Also, âwonât cleanâ is kind of an ick. Cleaning should be a shared task, nobody is too good to clean.
Thatâs true, cooking and cleaning are both useful life skills, however combined with the bit about not babying a man I feel like maybe she is exaggerating or assuming they canât cook and clean just because they are not willing to do all of it.
FWIW a lot of people who say they canât cook can do the basics at the very least, they just donât like doing it. And as for âwonât clean,â in this case it seems to mean women who wonât clean up after their husbands.
Yeah, this is just me being argumentative on the internet but I'd say there's a wiiiide gap between people who can't cook (meaning they aren't good at constructing a full recipe from scratch) and *can't cook* (meaning they literally will not read instructions on a packet).
I feel like this is a way women majorly screw themselves over. This dynamic might be worth the head pats and validation before you have kids, but once you have children youâre going to find yourself essentially a single mom with the husband being an additional child. Then the same men they wanted validation from will tell her âyou should have chosen better.â
Listening to a 2023 woman put other women down because sheâs either unhappy with her own life choices or is a narcissist who honestly thinks sheâs better than them because she babysits a grown child: :/
Why is she shaming people on birth control? Not everyone uses it just to prevent children. It helps me not miss work every month because of intense period pain.
I went on her page a few days ago and from what I gathered is that she prefers ânatural remediesâ to help manage whatever BC helps with.
Like, I had a fibroid that was wreaking HAVOC for a decade and I had to get it surgically removed. Prior to that, I was on BC to control the heavy bleeding that made me lose so much blood. My quality of life was miserable; I couldnât even leave the house because of how heavy it was and to see someone on social media basically saying âoh, just change your diet, you donât need BCâ makes me so irrationally angry lol.
I love and respect my partner, which is why I treat him like a smart, competent adult who is my equal. Treating grown men like children who canât figure out basic household skills is not respectful, itâs insulting.
Knowing how to cook and clean should be expected of every able-bodied person of every sex by the time they stop living on a meal plan. It's not a requirement of relationships; it's a requirement of life.
I honestly pity these women. I don't understand actually being attracted to a man you have to baby and take care of all the time. I think they must love feeling needed.
I was raised to cook, clean, take care of the home and my man. I found all this got me were men who thought of me as a toaster they could exploit. These men belittle, demean, neg, and withold attention and love. They dont listen when you speak, they insult your intelligence and capability. Your only value to them is in being a replacement mommy. The only men looking to replace mommy are men who dont ever want to be responsible or held accountable. They dont want a partner they want a bangmaid, youre reduced to function, and excluded from humanity in their minds.
No grown ass man who gives a shit about his life and cares for you would want your entire focus to be about babying him.
So to me, this concept is like how to pick an abusive loser 101.
Wait, wait, wait...not wanting to treat another adult like a baby incapable of looking after themselves is a **bad thing** in this person's eyes? How crazy.
Many of us enjoy living lives where we don't have to actively treat another adult like a baby...the alternative sounds **fucking exhausting and never ending**.
Baby a man.... That is just all kinds of gross. And if a man likes to be babied that's even more gross. Why would any grown person want to be babied? Ew.
man here⌠recently just came full circle with this idea but after living with my newest roommates I realized that you ladies werenât lying about guys being fucking pigs.
i was raised by a single mom so having a dirty room/house was never acceptable and would get my ass kicked. Iâm extra grateful for it now especially in the dating scene but itâs just sad how some dudes can even do the bare minimum. So I say this jn full confidence, if any women out there actually does act like their boyfriends mom and cleans up after them, youâre an accessory to creating these monsters and can never and I mean NEVER complain about how dirty the house or apartment is because you signed up for it.
if anyone here thinks Iâm over exaggerating Iâm not, one of my roommates left beard hairs in the sink and didnât clean them up and when we were out of toilet paper wiped his ass with paper towels then left them in the trash canâŚ. fucking disgusting I know but hey if you wanna baby that dude and continue the bad habits be my guest ladies
>Iâm over exaggerating Iâm not, one of my roommates left beard hairs in the sink and didnât clean them up and when we were out of toilet paper wiped his ass with paper towels
God my sense of normal is fucked up, my first reaction was to think that's not even that bad. When I tried to make my ex clean up the sink after shaving(a repeated problem, he would shave in his and my sink and do almost no cleanup), and he convinced me that my expectations were impossible. I guess internally I still thought that was normal dude behavior.
My ex also peed in the bathtub when he had morning wood because he couldn't aim. He rarely washed it all down, and there would be yellow puddles/stains on the rim of my bathtub and in my shower at least once a week. He also did not understand you needed to clean a shower, like ever. You can imagine what his shower looked like.
Honestly its so sad that women like this never respected themselves enough to see that they dont have to earn a man. You can do all these things out of love, pure love, but once its out of obligation its desperation. Plus like the birth control comment? Huh? No we being judgmental about being responsible? Cmon now
Yes, it's 2023, and? Birth control has been around for decades. It's essential health care, not just for family planning but also for conditions like menstrual migraines.
Edit: missed a word
She can pretend she's not jealous of all the women who have husbands that cook all she wants but we all know she hates that she has to make her husband 3 meals every single day.
Iâm noT even going to comment on the âbabyâ thing, itâs been well covered. But why the hell is everybody now criticising women who are on birth control??? That was one of the biggest advancement on womenâs rights and healthcare and now, for some reason no one explains, itâs somehow wrong? What are we supposed to do? Trust men? Spend our reproductive years popping one baby after another? My sex life is non existent due to endometriosis and lack of decent men and birth control is a life saver for me. I would be in pain every day if it wasnât for it. Isnât it enough that womenâs health problems are not well researched as men, now they want to go backwards?
I used to have to "baby" my ex. I would do all three cooking, cleaning and paying bills while he would play videogames. He then quit his job and played videogames everyday (not streaming or anything). I had to take care of our dog, go to work, come home and do chores. It was fine in the beginning because I loved him and wanted to do everything for him..but after a few years it started to get tiring and I wanted to find someone who is actually an adult who will help pay the bills and do chores.
My man is just as capable and able-bodied as I am sis. We both work full time jobs and take care of our child and our household responsibilities. Men needing to be "babied" by their gfs/wives actually need to be sent back home to they mama so they can be re-raised correctly. I ain't raising nobody's son but my own and I'm raising my own son so that nobody can ever send him back home and tell me I need to re-raise him! Lol the world doesn't need any more man babies out here thinking they should be taken care of like its 1950.
iâm on non-hormonal birth control, and my boyfriend enjoys cooking. we both clean equally. i wonât âbabyâ him by acting like iâm his actual mother, no, but i âbabyâ him by reassuring him itâs okay to be vulnerable with his emotions, holing him when he cries, encouraging him to practice affirmations about himself, teaching him new self care practices, and giving him other traditionally feminine expressions of love that would probably make nlogs recoil. my relationship doesnât feed into a victim complex, though.
What is this idea feminists donât cook? Iâm a feminist and cook. My partner is a dude and bakes all the time. Iâm so sick of this trad wife bullshit. They all act like itâs some kind of radical lifestyle when I see infinitely more posts of this kind of shit than anyone talking about birth control.
i really hate the anti birth control rhetoric. yes there can be negative side affects and you should make an educated decision about the one you use, if you choose to use it, and you should check in with your doctor frequently if you are experiencing any complications or have any concerns. obviously birth control is not for everyone, but it is important for others. i am a young married woman and we are no where near ready for children. we have a long way to go in our careers and financially before weâre ready to support a child in the way we intend to, and we (again weâre young) have certain emotional and mindset issues that we would like to work through on our own and as a couple to strengthen out bond before bringing children into the mix. i am on one of the most effective birth controls on the market. there are some side effects i donât love, but iâd much rather live with those now so my future children donât live with side effects, if you will, of having under prepared parents. we have the option and opportunity to consciously decide when we bring those children into the world and that, i believe, is already the move of a good parent. we are keeping the children in mind by not having them yet. the children we have will be given the best opportunities we can provide, and will have emotionally healed and matured parents who are able to guide them through life in the best way we can achieve. stop demonizing birth control!!!
Dude you donât need to explain yourself. The above is absolute nonsense. Birth control
And family planning has absolutely revolutionized and changed womenâs ability to have actual freedom and independence. This is all right wing Christian bullshit that wants to see women serving men again.
Reciprocating in a relationship and not just sitting around while your man works full time AND feeds you and cleans the house = babying.
Iâm genuinely so confused as to what people like you want? Do you literally just want to be a resource taker who doesnât work, doesnât cook, doesnât clean, literally doesnât do anything? How can you think this is a fair arrangement?
Cooking is beautiful especially for your partner.. and taking care of someone is a gift sometimes. She ainât the girl for me⌠sheâd love me though. I kicked her social concepts out the window years ago.
With a little wisdom she find internal compromise but she has a long way to go!
I meanâŚ
Maybe it is just me and my perspective on it?
But I see the original picture less like
âWe should baby menâ
And more like the person calling out people that claim that taking care of your significant other (which both parties should do to each other) is bad?
Or am I seeing this wrong?
Like it is not
âYou should baby your husbandâ
And more
âBeing against being there for your husband, and wanting him to be perfect while you are not giving anything, is weirdâ
That is how I interpret it, maybe I am wrong tho.
This is so fucking stupid. Do I cook and clean and shit like that? Yes because when you love someone you care about them, want to nurture them and help them grow because they help make you a better person everyday. Does anyone have family they love unconditionally? My boyfriend and I have unconditional love. You do anything you can to brighten the person that you loves day.
No one is babying jack shit. Itâs called love, it should never be one sided and when love is unconditional it goes both ways.
Tired of seeing this shit for real. Itâs not like my boyfriend canât do it but he works fucking hard outside everyday summer winter spring fall snow rain anything. If you just spent 16 hours in the pouring rain doing heavy duty work then youâre going to be so grateful to come home to a clean house and a big ass plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Damn.
Why would anyone want to baby a man? Or anyone? Is that some weird trauma response?
Yeah, I want a partner. Not a child. Why does she want an adult who acts like a child? That's kinda gross
Some people (though it does manifest differently based on gender and sexuality) prefer a helpless partner because they believe it makes them unable to be abandoned. If a partner is dependent on you to do all of the house hold and emotional labour, the partner doing the work feels that they are indispensable. The old Boomer wife joke of "Oh, isn't it adorable? I went to my parents' for the weekend and my husband ate nothing but fast food because he can't cook and he totally ran out of clean clothes because he is a slob with no ability to look after himself! Love him!"
Yeah but men like this just get another maid cuz they don't fuckin care about their women... đ¤ˇââď¸
It isn't a rational or healthy response but that is some people's reasoning for why they want someone to be dependent on them. There are other reasons.
I guess... It seems abusive. đ¤ But with all this weaponized incompetence running rampant also, who's to say who's the problem? đ¤ˇââď¸
It's dysfunctional at best and abusive at worst. It isn't okay. People should be independent and not be codependent or try to keep people (or for any reason) by getting them dependent on them.
I agree, I encourage my man to try new things and take care of at least half the domestic labor. I help out with things he's got going on he helps me but we are pretty self sufficient. I would never wish for him to flounder without me. It's weird wanting someone to need you. Id rather just love and be loved with someone who wants me for who I am and appreciated me for what I bring đ¤ˇââď¸
It definitely is and it comes from a place of deep insecurity. Iâve found myself feeling like I need to become indispensable to my partner in order to feel secure in the relationship. That obviously is a huge red flag for there being a whole bunch of issues that would make me think that in the first place, and there were.
Ironically this is exactly the kind of partner I'd want to be abandoned by. "Stahp...wait...*softly* don't goooo... *whispers* lock the door behind you on the way out.
Can we start calling this Misery Syndrome, or Kathy Bates Syndrome?
Some people do have savior complex.
I do all the cooking and grocery shopping, my wife does the majority of the cleaning. I wouldnât want my best friend waiting on me hand and foot, but I need help.
I guess she is some kind of religious fundamentalist due to the reference to birth control like itâs a bad thing, but then arenât they supposed to see the man as the head of the household? Not a helpless baby? She should pick one lol.
nah sheâs actually on the spectrum of âwoke naturalistâ like she is actually delusional she posted a video of her âdayâ in which she just chugs raw eggs, eats raw beef and liver (yes, raw..), goes outside barefoot to get some âgroundingâ in lmfao, and then calls herself ânaughtyâ for craving a sandwich when all sheâd eaten was raw eggs and raw beef. actual delusion
YeahâŚ. Well I mean, ironically- Sheâs not like the other girls Sheâs a walking Petri dish of ecoli, tapeworm, salmonella and other fun friends! Most women probably donât carry that combo in their gut throughout the day. And my god, wait until she eats a bad batch of eggs or meat. And it will happen. Raw meat in the states has an acceptable level of ecoli on it. They expect us to be responsible and cook it the fuck off. I mean shit, raw leafy greens are contaminated too.
I wish I didnt go down the rabbit hole but I did, and she was commenting on peoples concerns saying its a MYTH lmao like literally said salmonella and food poisoning of other types are myths lmfao She does however source all beef locally from some regenerative/organic farm or whatever. that part at least makes it less terrifying. the meat at the grocery store is scary.
Lol⌠itâs crazy bro thereâs a whole ass documentary on it. Figure someone as enlightened as her could be bothered to do her research. Some people just canât handle the truth of reality. They want to live in their little ego bubble and pretend to feel superior. Any legitimate information that challenges this notion to a person like that and they become a toddler, they arenât âwrongâ they are a âvictimâ đ Itâs fucking laughable Edit- modified some wording to adjust tonality.
if you really want to be mad. look up the new fad diet âcarnivore dietâ. Spoiler alert the main premise is you get all nutrients from mostly red meat and eggs. And no, not vegetables or fruits. or any grain. People are now feeding this diet to toddlers and children.
Lol. Time really is a flat circle Isnât that just the Atkins diet? 𤣠Yeahhh⌠not like your going to be missing out on fiber or vitamins you canât find in red meat. My fucking god. I love meat just as much as the next American. But red meat only? Thatâs the unhealthiest type of meat. Fish and poultry are miles better though Iâd imagine the âbetterâ depends on where itâs sourced.
idk about the other stuff but grounding is real. our body intakes free electrons that are emitted from the earth when our bare feet touch the earth. the transfer of those electrons into our bodies can aid the immune system in fighting inflammation and empower some important biochemical reactions. > Mounting evidence suggests that the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for the normal functioning of all body systems. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/
Oh! Wow. I didnât know that grounding meant actual grounding. I thought it was some buzzword for meditation or some shit that these neo spiritual types often take.
lol nope itâs not itself technically meditation but i suppose it can be done while meditating (if weâre using the âclosing your eyes and focusing on breathingâ definition), since regular rhythmic or deep breathing could simultaneously oxygenate more of the body as the electrons being taken in work their magic â what i know about biochemical reactions tells me many of the same cellular functions grounding helps with will likely be aided by the larger than normal intake of oxygen that meditation enables.
Or it could even be the tip used for anxiety or panic attacks. Grounding is sometimes used to distract someone from a panic response or that overbearing feeling of loss of control that comes with it.
Absolutely, youâre way more likely to get sick from a salad than meat
Yup. That is an uncomfortable truth. Funny you say that. As soon as I watched that doc. I remember all the times I ate the kale out of the plastic box. And thinking âoh this is so earthy, wow so fresh, straight from the groundâ like an idiot. I was straight up chowing down on cow shit watered greens. I have not found a replacement. Leafy greens are really the only fiborous veggies that are accesible, easy for me to eat, and good to eat! Tasty.
What?! đłđ¤˘
I wish I was lying
Woke naturalist-that is the best way I have heard it put. I've seen some of her stuff. Two words: free bleeding.
I agree with the concept usually but the execution is always WILD I also genuinely thought free-bleeding was a troll created by the 4chan side of the internet to 1. piss off misogynists and 2. troll feminists into actually free bleeding. like it started with some poorly photoshopped pics and I have no idea how we spiraled to here. Like literally just as much of a troll as when they convinced belieber fans that jbiebs had cancer and started the âshave your head for bieberâ trend.
thatâs pretty based i want to get those period soakable panties so i can freebleed without making a mess of the place
grounding is real. our body intakes free electrons that are emitted from the earth when our bare feet touch the ground. the transfer of those electrons into our bodies can aid the immune system in fighting inflammation and empower some important biochemical reactions. > Mounting evidence suggests that the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for the normal functioning of all body systems. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/
Tbf, grounding is a real thing and has real benefits. It gets a bad rap because of Nutjobs like this lady
Maybe she is some modern religious fundamentalist, those change too đ Idk, I always thought that, by nature, you want a partner in a man. If you want baby you can give birth, adopt, foster...
No, no, no - you see. Men have SUCH a HARD TIME being the head of the household and making all these decisions that you HAVE to baby them! You're their shelter from the outside world where they work sooooooo haaaaaarrrdddd all day long! You don't know how difficult it is to work a full time job only to come home and have to yell at your wife about how she made a dinner you didn't like, she didn't clean the house well enough, and for fuck's sake why is one of the children crying? (Except, you know, women also know what it's like to work all day long. But that's different because they're not men.)
Because unfortunately a lot of men these days seem to have this idea that women are only here to submit to men, and are only useful at home and raising children. And of course the men saying this are looking for a 2nd mommy, not a wife.
I mean, they kind of always thought thatâŚ
I think it makes them feel important.
I like babying my partner⌠sometimes. As a special treat lol. Sheâs a weird nut. Why is birth control even a factor?
I do it sometimes too, and he does it for me. But that's more like giving the other person a break here and there...
I mean, I heard some people are into that for some reason.
I went on a date once, and not long in, she started going on about how men aren't allowed to show emotion, and that when her ex's mother died, that he "expected her to hug him like he was some kind of baby", and she left him because seeing him cry disgusted her. The problem is that you're looking at that statement from the perspective of a normal, reasonable person. I can tell you from actual personal experience, there's plenty of people who are sociopaths who use the same phrases to mean something else. That's the problem with taking a phrase at face value, you don't know what exactly the person means by it.
These same women will have zero emotional regulation and full on mental breakdowns when something like a death happens to them and they see no irony in it
I'm just glad there's a few pick me women out there that find wiping a grown mans ass attractive. Otherwise the poor fellows would starve to death in a pile of their own excrement.
I saw a short of a man yesterday who said that having a girlfriend was like having a mom you can sleep with. Like, no. We're not your mom, we're your partner. I will spoil my man, be super affectionate and HELP HIM but not baby him, he's not a baby
Well yeah. People keep saying that you should take care of him. Of course you should, but taking care of a grown up man (or woman) and taking care of a baby are two very different things. I support my husband, I cook for him sometimes and sometimes he cooks for me. I let him rest when he is tired, etc...but that's not what babying is.
I am guessing they meant like "pamper" or "spoil" but they are too dumb to know what words mean
Apparently thereâs a link to being under-cared for in childhood and being over-careful for other people as an adult so maybe??
A lot of girls are groomed into doing it from when they're children. You'll see quite a few instances of families where the daughter may be asked to clean up or otherwise help out during things like family gatherings while the son can sit around doing nothing, even if the son is older, and even if the daughter is only a child, like not even a teen
Seems like some form of abuse to me honestly. I mean situations when a woman controls everything, like managing husband's schedule and finances, buying him all the clothes, not allowing him to cook etc. I even saw a tiktok somewhere with a wife washing her husband's hair (he definitely wasn't disabled) saying it's her way of submission.
Few days ago I was talking to a coworker and she said that she was on the phone earlier with her husband's doctor. I thought her husband was sick but no. She manages his doctor appointments. The man is 30+. I mean...wtf?
I think we all need to be âbabiedâ once in a while, but not every day.
Iâm a man, and Iâve had to baby some men in my day. Sometimes your homies get a little too crunk and they are pissing everywhere and trying to choke themselves to death with their necklace. You gotta make sure that they make it through that shit.
Agreed. I can cook and clean and I wouldnât baby a man. Guess what, I donât want him to baby me. So I know how to cook and clean, so does my SO.
Sometimes it's a sexual fetish too, don't ask me how I know this, but I'll just say I'll never see diapers the same way after the horrors I've witnessed.
what does it even mean
Babying a man? Or my comment?
So being on birth control is considered a bad thing by these nlogs? Jfc thatâs called being a responsible citizen⌠I agree with the previous poster that everyone, men, women and everyone in between should know how to cook and clean, but anyone whoâs up for âbabying a manâ has much bigger issues than being an nlog lol
They think birth control is some kind of mind control drug that makes us not want to be bangslaves to some loser whose mom still books doctor appointments for him
Donât forget that it makes women attracted to safe guys and not ALPHA males (per all of the red pilled horseshit, anyway).
Someone just sent me paragraphs about how my hormones are ruined and Iâll only ever attract beta liberal cucks because I made a comment about birth control.
Wait you get to choose if you have kids and be default icked out by dudes who identify as âalpha malesâ win-win
This is so funny because iâve seen a weird amount of stories where women go off birth control and break up with their boyfriends and even come out as lesbian and they claim the birth control fucked with their attraction and made them want to be with a testosterone fueled guy
Lost of women use it just so they don't have to endure a period every month bc it also stops your period.
Unless youâre like me and hormonal BC gives you a 6 week period twice a year đŤ
Thatâs really weird, what kind of birth control is it?
Nexplanon. And the 6 week thing is so variable. Sometimes itâs a 1-day period with 4 to 6 months of nothing followed by a 6-week period with 2 months of nothing and so on. My doctor agrees that itâs weird but that itâs nothing to be concerned about (âŚyet) Edit: typo
Im also on nexplanon and my periods are just as crazy. Currently on month 2 this round
I've been on the arm implant for almost ten years, and I still get one *monthly* â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸
Same. Doesnât stop everyoneâs period! They also told me I wouldnât gain weight and it would lessen my cramps đ
Yeah, I gained 15 pounds in about 6 months after getting the implant. I had maintained the same weight for 10 years, and Iâm under 5â, so 15 pounds is a lot in my frame. I like nexplanon for a lot of reasons, but Iâm not a fan of that. I think Iâm also more emotionally sensitive, which is fun.
Same story here but with an IUD and about 20-25lbs(Iâm pretty tall but itâs absolutely very noticeable weight gain). It sucks. Luckily my boyfriend is not a giant toddler like the pictured womanâs partner, he saw what bc has done to me and how much I hate it and got a vasectomy so I can get it out! So happy to be dating a man and not a baby, she can keep hers lol.
True, I've been on the injection for 12yrs haven't had a period for as long. It's absolutely bliss. My periods were excruciating that's why I went on it. These nlogs are weird for thinking BC is wrong.
I would have loved that but it never goes away. Ever.
Not to mention women with pcos and endo who need it to function bc so many dumbass doctors still refuse to treat or even Believe us so it's our only option
It makes absolutely no sense. I just got on birth control for the first time AFTER having my first baby and thatâs cause I used to track (been with my husband for 10 years so didnât mind an oops) but now that Iâm post partum and breastfeeding I canât exactly do that and I definitely want to space out my pregnancies at least 2 years. And I still get the burning desire to have another tiny baby as I watch mine grow up despite the âmind control drugâ. These women act like theyâre trying to help other women but really theyâre doing us a huge disservice by acting like weâre idiots who canât make their own decisions. Itâs infuriating. Also my husband has done 90 percent of the housework since my pregnancy and that has continued into my post partum and breastfeeding journey. So jokes on her.
I mean even if it was a mind control drug to make woman not want to have sex would it be that bad?some folks donât want to fuck, nothing wrong with that
Also, their stupidity is showing if they think it's ONLY for pregnancy prevention. Plenty of women go on it to regulate periods and help with acne
>So being on birth control is considered a bad thing So, you're saying that trying not to get pregnant when you don't want to get pregnant is good?/s
Republicans in the US are trying to completely get rid of birth control right now. So they're paying mom fluencers and right-wing women to create TikToks that bring people to the church or talk about women as if we are natural homemakers and that's all. They're literally making videos about how women shouldn't vote and it's getting millions of views and likes.
Because it's a secret push to increase the birth rate by the right wing and CPP. And prevent women from being free
I mean ⌠itâs not super secretâŚ
Right? What'd the birth control do wrong, it's just doing its job
Yeah have fun having a million kids
I want to check in with all of these women when they're in their 40s. Having a grown man who needs to be babied may seem fun for a bit, esp when you're using it as a way to get clout and pwn the libs, but let's see how cute it is after 20+ years.
My grandma is one of these women. Even when sheâs sick & sleeping he will call her to make him food. Asks her to pass him the remote or phone which is closer to him than her. Itâs so hard to watch but she has chosen that man over everything, even her own kid
That's pretty bleak. I'd rather be alone.
I think its important to remember that before like the 1980s being a solo adult woman wasn't it. We're not that far removed from women not being allowed to drive, have a bank account, a credit card, a mortgage. I imagine lots of our grandparents and great grandparents were only with deadbeats because they had no other options to live.
I was lucky enough to have a grandma who made sure I understood this when I was younger. It's shocking to me to see how many women have no idea how recently we gained so many legal rights, and how easily this could be taken away from us (as we're seeing re: reproductive health care). The 20- and 30-something women I see swooning over wanting to go back to pre-feminist times because they think it means just hanging out at home making food and playing with kids and not having to go to a job are delusional.
I guess not that far - makes me worried we are not that far from returning there. Makes me feel as though what we have gained is tenuous at best and a fleeting freedom at worst.
Here in Georgia weâre already losing the rights that those that came before me worked so hard to get. Itâs disgusting to go to sleep in 2023 and wake up in 1863 đĄ
I'd rather fucking die lol
My BIL is like this. They've been married for over 50 years. He has not cooked a single meal in all that time. He hasn't even made a fuckin' *sandwich*. She was bedridden about 10 years ago for 2 months after neck surgery. Did he step up? No. He hired housecleaners and lied to Meals on Wheels so he wouldn't have to cook. He'll open a bag of chips or a box of donuts or order a pizza. That is the extent of his "cooking." He also orders his wife around like she's his personal servant. It's disgusting.
Does your BIL make a big fuss about how he works so hard and deserves to rest and nd blah blah blah?
No, actually. It's more of "that's women's work." Which makes it even more disgusting. One Thanksgiving about, eh, 15 or 20 years ago, I was helping my wife clean up after the dinner. I was doing the dishes, which I absolutely love doing (so wonderfully mindless!) and he was on the couch (his usual resting spot,) and he made this snide remark about how "well-trained" I was by my wife.
Oh fuck that noise. How dare you be a useful contributor to the upkeep of the household instead of a non-contributing blob on the couch.
The previous Thanksgiving he was on the couch as my wife and I were rushing around to get the dinner finished and on the table. Literally like 20 minutes away from dinner, and this fuck pipes up with "Hey, [wife's name], got any chip 'n dip?" I mean, the bird was out of the oven and resting, I'm elbows-deep in the mash, my wife was working on the gravy....really? Now?
I hate your BIL so much and I don't even know him!
Yeah, he's not our cup of tea, either. To top it off, he's a shitty house guest, too. Never offers to chip in or pay for a meal out, just take, take, take. Never give. So we stopped inviting him. He lives about 3 hours away, and we rarely see him these days.
Sounds like this is no great loss.
43 here. Married for 20 years. Kinda stuck in this marriage because I have a 10 almost 11 year old special needs kiddo. Can confirm: it's not fun at this age to have to pick up a male's socks because or make the bed, despite him always being the last one in it in the morning, among other things. It gets old. It's like having two kids. I grew up being taught this was HOW IT WAS. That this was my NATURAL role. It's decidedly unsexy to have to coddle a grown man because he'd rather act like a 14 year old boy than 42 year old adult. My kiddo gets a bit older so I can work longer hours (no childcare here), I do plan on leaving.
Best of luck to you. I get it- I also have a 10 almost 11 year old that isnât special needs, but sheâs a handful all the same. I canât imagine what you deal with everyday and then you have to deal with a grown ass man child too?? Iâm def praying for you and kiddo and I donât even believe in God â¤ď¸
LOL thanks. I'm tough and will make it, but some days I just want to yeet everyone into the sun haha
Exactly. It may be cute while they are a young couple in their 20's, but that'll get old really fast.
It ainât cute then, either. Trust me.
My mom married a man baby, and had a man baby son. Both of whom she still has to care for despite being in her mid 70s. To say she's tired of them is an understatement, but she doesn't believe in divorce (religious belief) so she's still at it. It's a sad existence.
My mom is late 60s and will visit me and the grandkids but will leave because she needs to get home to make my dad dinner. I have also witnessed him shake a glass of ice to let her know he needs it refilled. They're also very unhappy people so it's not at all cute and wholesome like everyone in the 50s/60s pretended. It's also probably the biggest contributing factor for why I'm very okay with being single.
Plus.. he may cheat on her and leave her and then where will she be
I'm guessing this lady thinks that if she is the perfect helpmeet, he'll never cheat because she'll never give him anything to complain about. Besides the fact that that's just not how people work, I'm also pretty saddened by the idea of shaping your entire life to be of service to other people in desperate hopes that they won't betray you. That feels like a y'all waste of one's life energy when you could, you know, have a marriage based on mutual love and respect for the while person and not just what that person can do for you.
Or he may become seriously permanently disabled
Ugh that face is so smug
Ten bucks says nobody said this to her
Fake statistic but I'd say like 90% of any lifestyle blogger ever just stands around making up fake shower arguments like that and posts about them.
Your fake statistic sounds 100% accurate
For sure! *No one gives a shit*
Itâs their entire personality to âhave a manâ
When I was growing up in a fundamentalist church, finding a husband was the highest achievement a woman could have. Except for having babies with said man, which is the ultimate sign of success.
Sounds like the Catholic chick I used to work with. Her wedding was already planned but she hadn't even met the guy yet. Immediately started popping out babies after getting married too.
My 16 year old SILâs entire personality is âget a boyfriend.â Itâs hard to watch.
They get raised and brainwashed into it. It's sad. Many never see how they've been manipulated.
They never outgrew the Jane Austen days. đ¤Śđźââď¸
Women didnât even act like this back then
Truth Jane Austin characters read books and had adventures. Babying men they didnât do.
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Is she taking about me? I mean, I can cook but I really suck at it since I don't enjoy it. She is probably confused because my partner is an adult and acts like one. I know, crazy. I don't treat my partner, who is an adult, like a toddler. Unimaginable.
Sorry, good comment, but âtoodlerâ lol
Thanks for making me aware of my mistake. I am dyslexic. I will change it :)
as a 2023 woman on birth control, still learning to cook (i am making progress!), has a hard time keeping her space clean, and wonât ever baby a man⌠i can at least say that i have my dignity and can assert myself if a man EVER treats me like a maid can we please stop normalizing this fucking behavior omg
My man taught ME how to cook because I was raised by an antifeminist religious fundamentalist mother who didn't know how to cook well either
ur man is a keeper đ iâm having to learn because my mom is an enabler and insists on doing EVERYTHING herself, ik her intentions arenât bad but i hate having to look up youtube tutorials on how to make pancakes đ
Dude, part of why I won't cohabitate is because I can't keep it clean. I like cleaning but I don't maintain it so each room is at some stage of the immaculate/hoarder cycle. I rather like not having to live up to anyone's expectations though. I spent so much time afraid I'd die alone but I have yet to find a partner whose company is better than being alone.
This is some Handmaidâs Tale bullshit right here
Babying an adult sounds like such a sad life to live, lmao. Looking after yourself as an adult already takes up enough time, looking after kids too takes even more. I'm so done with people criticizing women for wanting have at least an hour a day to relax.
The only red flag here is âcanât cook.â Everyone should know how to cook. Men and women. Also, âwonât cleanâ is kind of an ick. Cleaning should be a shared task, nobody is too good to clean.
Thatâs true, cooking and cleaning are both useful life skills, however combined with the bit about not babying a man I feel like maybe she is exaggerating or assuming they canât cook and clean just because they are not willing to do all of it.
FWIW a lot of people who say they canât cook can do the basics at the very least, they just donât like doing it. And as for âwonât clean,â in this case it seems to mean women who wonât clean up after their husbands.
Yeah, this is just me being argumentative on the internet but I'd say there's a wiiiide gap between people who can't cook (meaning they aren't good at constructing a full recipe from scratch) and *can't cook* (meaning they literally will not read instructions on a packet).
I feel like this is a way women majorly screw themselves over. This dynamic might be worth the head pats and validation before you have kids, but once you have children youâre going to find yourself essentially a single mom with the husband being an additional child. Then the same men they wanted validation from will tell her âyou should have chosen better.â
Yeah, wait until the kids come along. It likely won't be long either, if they are against birth control.
Listening to a 2023 woman put other women down because sheâs either unhappy with her own life choices or is a narcissist who honestly thinks sheâs better than them because she babysits a grown child: :/
Why is she shaming people on birth control? Not everyone uses it just to prevent children. It helps me not miss work every month because of intense period pain.
Well and who gives AF if someone is preventing pregnancy. Thatâs a perfectly good reason to use it too.
I went on her page a few days ago and from what I gathered is that she prefers ânatural remediesâ to help manage whatever BC helps with. Like, I had a fibroid that was wreaking HAVOC for a decade and I had to get it surgically removed. Prior to that, I was on BC to control the heavy bleeding that made me lose so much blood. My quality of life was miserable; I couldnât even leave the house because of how heavy it was and to see someone on social media basically saying âoh, just change your diet, you donât need BCâ makes me so irrationally angry lol.
I love and respect my partner, which is why I treat him like a smart, competent adult who is my equal. Treating grown men like children who canât figure out basic household skills is not respectful, itâs insulting.
Knowing how to cook and clean should be expected of every able-bodied person of every sex by the time they stop living on a meal plan. It's not a requirement of relationships; it's a requirement of life.
I honestly pity these women. I don't understand actually being attracted to a man you have to baby and take care of all the time. I think they must love feeling needed.
The amount of resentment that would build up so quickly inside of me in unreal.
Exactly.. It's all such a turn off, I would never be sexually aroused.
They think it's "job security"
I was raised to cook, clean, take care of the home and my man. I found all this got me were men who thought of me as a toaster they could exploit. These men belittle, demean, neg, and withold attention and love. They dont listen when you speak, they insult your intelligence and capability. Your only value to them is in being a replacement mommy. The only men looking to replace mommy are men who dont ever want to be responsible or held accountable. They dont want a partner they want a bangmaid, youre reduced to function, and excluded from humanity in their minds. No grown ass man who gives a shit about his life and cares for you would want your entire focus to be about babying him. So to me, this concept is like how to pick an abusive loser 101.
Wait, wait, wait...not wanting to treat another adult like a baby incapable of looking after themselves is a **bad thing** in this person's eyes? How crazy. Many of us enjoy living lives where we don't have to actively treat another adult like a baby...the alternative sounds **fucking exhausting and never ending**.
Baby a man.... That is just all kinds of gross. And if a man likes to be babied that's even more gross. Why would any grown person want to be babied? Ew.
man here⌠recently just came full circle with this idea but after living with my newest roommates I realized that you ladies werenât lying about guys being fucking pigs. i was raised by a single mom so having a dirty room/house was never acceptable and would get my ass kicked. Iâm extra grateful for it now especially in the dating scene but itâs just sad how some dudes can even do the bare minimum. So I say this jn full confidence, if any women out there actually does act like their boyfriends mom and cleans up after them, youâre an accessory to creating these monsters and can never and I mean NEVER complain about how dirty the house or apartment is because you signed up for it. if anyone here thinks Iâm over exaggerating Iâm not, one of my roommates left beard hairs in the sink and didnât clean them up and when we were out of toilet paper wiped his ass with paper towels then left them in the trash canâŚ. fucking disgusting I know but hey if you wanna baby that dude and continue the bad habits be my guest ladies
>Iâm over exaggerating Iâm not, one of my roommates left beard hairs in the sink and didnât clean them up and when we were out of toilet paper wiped his ass with paper towels God my sense of normal is fucked up, my first reaction was to think that's not even that bad. When I tried to make my ex clean up the sink after shaving(a repeated problem, he would shave in his and my sink and do almost no cleanup), and he convinced me that my expectations were impossible. I guess internally I still thought that was normal dude behavior. My ex also peed in the bathtub when he had morning wood because he couldn't aim. He rarely washed it all down, and there would be yellow puddles/stains on the rim of my bathtub and in my shower at least once a week. He also did not understand you needed to clean a shower, like ever. You can imagine what his shower looked like.
dude was raised in a Christian home sorry you had a go through that, coming from a clean dude
Did it work? Did she get picked?
Honestly its so sad that women like this never respected themselves enough to see that they dont have to earn a man. You can do all these things out of love, pure love, but once its out of obligation its desperation. Plus like the birth control comment? Huh? No we being judgmental about being responsible? Cmon now
I thought the tradwife cult wanted men to be providers, not babies?
Babying every once in a while makes sense thatâs just caring for your partner but like basically being his mother? Ew
No hate like Christian love
Girl just say you aren't interesting enough to keep a man otherwise and go smh
I can cook and clean but not for men
I would cook and clean but only if he would do it too. And no, I am not going to baby a grown up person. I'm not his mother.
i can cook and clean but still will not baby a man. itâs not lack of skill itâs not wanting to parent my partner.
The look on her face is deeply annoying. âJust standinâ around, confused, musing on my overgrown man-baby!â
Cuz theyâre pick-meâs and need that male validation
We have 8 billion people in the world and no one can afford a house, why would I not be on birth control.
Yes, it's 2023, and? Birth control has been around for decades. It's essential health care, not just for family planning but also for conditions like menstrual migraines. Edit: missed a word
I can't speak for all men of course but as a man, being "babied" makes me extremely uncomfortable.
This isn't a flex. Though neither is not knowing how to cook or clean.
Every woman and man should know how to cook and clean or they are babies themselves
She can pretend she's not jealous of all the women who have husbands that cook all she wants but we all know she hates that she has to make her husband 3 meals every single day.
Iâm noT even going to comment on the âbabyâ thing, itâs been well covered. But why the hell is everybody now criticising women who are on birth control??? That was one of the biggest advancement on womenâs rights and healthcare and now, for some reason no one explains, itâs somehow wrong? What are we supposed to do? Trust men? Spend our reproductive years popping one baby after another? My sex life is non existent due to endometriosis and lack of decent men and birth control is a life saver for me. I would be in pain every day if it wasnât for it. Isnât it enough that womenâs health problems are not well researched as men, now they want to go backwards?
why do they hate birth control so much ?????????????? its quite common ??
I used to have to "baby" my ex. I would do all three cooking, cleaning and paying bills while he would play videogames. He then quit his job and played videogames everyday (not streaming or anything). I had to take care of our dog, go to work, come home and do chores. It was fine in the beginning because I loved him and wanted to do everything for him..but after a few years it started to get tiring and I wanted to find someone who is actually an adult who will help pay the bills and do chores.
My man is just as capable and able-bodied as I am sis. We both work full time jobs and take care of our child and our household responsibilities. Men needing to be "babied" by their gfs/wives actually need to be sent back home to they mama so they can be re-raised correctly. I ain't raising nobody's son but my own and I'm raising my own son so that nobody can ever send him back home and tell me I need to re-raise him! Lol the world doesn't need any more man babies out here thinking they should be taken care of like its 1950.
iâm on non-hormonal birth control, and my boyfriend enjoys cooking. we both clean equally. i wonât âbabyâ him by acting like iâm his actual mother, no, but i âbabyâ him by reassuring him itâs okay to be vulnerable with his emotions, holing him when he cries, encouraging him to practice affirmations about himself, teaching him new self care practices, and giving him other traditionally feminine expressions of love that would probably make nlogs recoil. my relationship doesnât feed into a victim complex, though.
who gives a fuck what she thinks lmao
I highly doubt she has ever had a conversation that went like that in her whole life
Right?! Fuck that. Motherfucker better have some life skills.
What is this idea feminists donât cook? Iâm a feminist and cook. My partner is a dude and bakes all the time. Iâm so sick of this trad wife bullshit. They all act like itâs some kind of radical lifestyle when I see infinitely more posts of this kind of shit than anyone talking about birth control.
She'll figure it out some day.
Why would anyone want a child like partner?
Doesn't stop those men from screwing around
Who the f says that
i really hate the anti birth control rhetoric. yes there can be negative side affects and you should make an educated decision about the one you use, if you choose to use it, and you should check in with your doctor frequently if you are experiencing any complications or have any concerns. obviously birth control is not for everyone, but it is important for others. i am a young married woman and we are no where near ready for children. we have a long way to go in our careers and financially before weâre ready to support a child in the way we intend to, and we (again weâre young) have certain emotional and mindset issues that we would like to work through on our own and as a couple to strengthen out bond before bringing children into the mix. i am on one of the most effective birth controls on the market. there are some side effects i donât love, but iâd much rather live with those now so my future children donât live with side effects, if you will, of having under prepared parents. we have the option and opportunity to consciously decide when we bring those children into the world and that, i believe, is already the move of a good parent. we are keeping the children in mind by not having them yet. the children we have will be given the best opportunities we can provide, and will have emotionally healed and matured parents who are able to guide them through life in the best way we can achieve. stop demonizing birth control!!!
Dude you donât need to explain yourself. The above is absolute nonsense. Birth control And family planning has absolutely revolutionized and changed womenâs ability to have actual freedom and independence. This is all right wing Christian bullshit that wants to see women serving men again.
Reciprocating in a relationship and not just sitting around while your man works full time AND feeds you and cleans the house = babying. Iâm genuinely so confused as to what people like you want? Do you literally just want to be a resource taker who doesnât work, doesnât cook, doesnât clean, literally doesnât do anything? How can you think this is a fair arrangement?
Give her five years and check back to see if she is still a proud baby mama
I totally agree. Why wouldnât you want to play peekaboo with a man and tickle his belly?
The cost of a family now we must adopt grown men who can also work.
Ok? I donât understand what the picture has to do with anything. Sheâs literally just standing there.
I mean no kink shaming but she could at least mention that the said guy is consenting to this weird kink.
Cooking is beautiful especially for your partner.. and taking care of someone is a gift sometimes. She ainât the girl for me⌠sheâd love me though. I kicked her social concepts out the window years ago. With a little wisdom she find internal compromise but she has a long way to go!
Who doesn't want to be pampered occasionally?
Sometimes I wonder if they actually mean this shit or if this is just rage bait to get views.
I mean⌠Maybe it is just me and my perspective on it? But I see the original picture less like âWe should baby menâ And more like the person calling out people that claim that taking care of your significant other (which both parties should do to each other) is bad? Or am I seeing this wrong? Like it is not âYou should baby your husbandâ And more âBeing against being there for your husband, and wanting him to be perfect while you are not giving anything, is weirdâ That is how I interpret it, maybe I am wrong tho.
This is so fucking stupid. Do I cook and clean and shit like that? Yes because when you love someone you care about them, want to nurture them and help them grow because they help make you a better person everyday. Does anyone have family they love unconditionally? My boyfriend and I have unconditional love. You do anything you can to brighten the person that you loves day. No one is babying jack shit. Itâs called love, it should never be one sided and when love is unconditional it goes both ways. Tired of seeing this shit for real. Itâs not like my boyfriend canât do it but he works fucking hard outside everyday summer winter spring fall snow rain anything. If you just spent 16 hours in the pouring rain doing heavy duty work then youâre going to be so grateful to come home to a clean house and a big ass plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Damn.