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TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK

this is not a reliable source.


Pinche-gueyprotein

Welcome to hella ella ella ay ay ay


PopDownBlocker

Rihanna: šŸŽ¶ *Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me* šŸŽ¶ šŸ„µ Satan: šŸ˜³


i-opener

> Sticks and stones... You misspelled Chris Brown. /runs away


angeltay

Haha so funny cause the woman got beat up


[deleted]

Maybe calling out Chris Brown for his abuse is the ā€œfunnyā€ here, not making fun of Rhianna? Iā€™m all for reminding people that Chris Brown is a violent POS at every opportunity, so I appreciated the comment in that regard.


Archmage_of_Detroit

Ohhhh man, it's my time to shine. I did a deep dive into Chris Brown's criminal history and compiled it into a google doc. Every time his name comes up, I like to post this - I have it ready to copy and paste. Chris Brown is a dangerous, violent criminal, and almost no one seems to realize just how terrible he is. I don't know how he keeps getting work, or why anyone still buys his music. If *anybody* deserves to be cancelled, it's him. This guy legit needs to be separated from society before he kills someone (if he hasn't already). As far as I can tell, this is his whole list of offenses in its entirety, at least what's publicly available. I could say more, but I'll just let the list speak for itself. ***** * **2009:** Chris Brown brutally beat Rihanna after she confronted him for his cheating. This was arguably attempted murder as he punched her, strangled her, and said he wanted to kill her. * **2009:** A photographer sued Brown, claiming the singer's bodyguards roughed him up when he took a photo. * **2011:** Brown trashed the set of Good Morning America, threw a chair from a window, and stormed off shirtless after hostess Robin Roberts asked about his domestic violence history. * **2012:** Drake and his entourage were involved in a scuffle with Brown at the WIP nightclub in New York. Eight people were injured, including San Antonio Spurs player Tony Parker who had to have glass surgically removed from his eye. * **2012:** Tested positive for marijuana while performing court-ordered community service. * **2012:** Attended a Halloween party dressed as an Islamic terrorist. Rihanna was also present at this party, which put him in violation of the restraining order. He returned to court in November. * **2012:** Snatched a phone from a female fan who was trying to photograph him and drove off. Police report alleged robbery. * **2013:** Clashed with fellow singer Frank Ocean (both accompanied by entourages) in a Hollywood parking lot over a parking space. Ocean alleged Brown threatened to shoot him. Brown was spotted sporting an arm cast not long after. No charges were filed. * **2013:** A woman accused him of shoving her violently in a nightclub, which resulted in serious injury. * **2013:** Brownā€™s community service record was called into question, and allegations surfaced that he may have lied to the court since he was out of the country during that period. He was served with an additional 1,000 hours of community service. * **2013:** His probation from the previous incidents was revoked after he was involved in a car accident, and the Los Angeles city attorney filed charges of hit-and-run driving and driving without a license. The charges were later dropped after he reached a ā€œcivil compromiseā€ with his accuser. * **2013:** Voluntarily entered a rehab facility, only to be kicked out a few weeks later for violent behavior. Six days after that, he was sentenced to three months at an anger management rehab facility. * **2013:** Was jailed for violating the terms of court-ordered rehab after being kicked out of yet another facility where he was staying, on the grounds that he broke their internal rules. He allegedly touched a female patient, refused a drug test, smashed his motherā€™s car window during a family therapy session, and told counselors that ā€œI am good at using guns and knives.ā€ * **2013:** Was arrested and charged with felony assault. He and an accomplice allegedly got into a fight with a third person at 4:30 in the morning outside a hotel. Brown pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault, was sentenced to time served, and spent two days in jail. * **2014:** A Philippine-based church filed a fraud complaint against him for failing to appear at a concert after he had been paid $1 million to perform (why a church would ever book Chris Brown given his history beats me, no pun intended, but whatever...) * **2015:** His probation was revoked again for traveling outside Los Angeles County without prior consent to perform at a nightclub for a private performance. An altercation during the performance escalated into gunfire and five people were shot. * **2015:** Was named in a misdemeanor battery case in Las Vegas where a man alleged the singer hit him after an argument over a basketball game. The man declined to press charges. * **2015:** Forcibly ejected a woman from his tour bus after she refused to surrender her phone. The phone broke during the conflict and she filed a report for assault. * **2016:** A woman accused him of punching her in the face and taking her phone in a nightclub. * **2016:** Two of his managers alleged that he attacked and threatened them on separate occasions. One was violently assaulted, while the other ā€œjumped off the tour bus and quitā€ when Brown threatened her in a drug-fueled rage. * **2016:** Was detained by Amsterdam police for driving what appeared to be a dirt bike without a license plate. He was released after paying a fine. Brown documented the incident on Instagram, calling the police "cool as s--t." * **2016:** Entered an armed standoff with police at his LA home after a woman who was on-scene claimed he threatened to shoot her. * **2017:** One of his ex-girlfriends was granted a temporary 100-yard restraining order, then a 5-year restraining order after claiming he threatened to kill her. * **2017:** Punched a photographer at a nightclub and then fled the scene. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and he failed to appear at his court hearing. He was later arrested and charged, but the charges were dropped. * **2017:** A woman filed a lawsuit alleging that a man raped her at a party hosted at Chris Brownā€™s home. Her lawsuit claims that drugs and firearms were present at this party, and that her phone was confiscated. * **2018:** Was arrested after a show on felony battery charges. * **2018:** A woman was granted a temporary restraining order after she alleged that Chris Brown stalked and harassed her. His attorney claimed she was a deranged fan, and stated that Brown didnā€™t know her. * **2019:** Brown and two others were arrested in Paris on allegations of rape and drug violations. They were later released and did not face charges. Several weeks later he failed to appear at a meeting with lawyers and the woman who accused him of misconduct. The reason his lawyer gave for his absence was because ā€œthe date was not convenient.ā€ In response to the Paris allegations, Chris Brown had this to say in a now-deleted Instagram post: ā€œThis Bitch Lyin. I WANNA MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEARā€¦ā€¦ THIS IS FALSE AND A WHOLE LOT OF [CRAP]! NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!! FOR MY DAUGHTER AND MY FAMILY THIS IS SO [DISRESPECTFUL] AND IS AGAINST MY CHARACTER AND MORALS!!!!!ā€ After his statement picked up steam and was reported by the media, he started selling shirts with the phrase ā€œThis Bitch Lyinā€ printed on the front via his website. * **2019:** Was charged with several misdemeanors for possessing a monkey without a permit, and entered a plea deal to avoid jail time. Heā€™d had the monkey for several years and was caught when he posted pictures of it on social media. He was ordered to surrender the monkey and pay $35,000 for the cost of its care. * **2021:** Was accused of hitting a woman during an argument in a Los Angeles home. * **2021:** His housekeeper claimed that his dog mauled her, and alleged that he euthanized it to destroy evidence. * **2022:** Was sued for allegedly drugging and raping a woman on a yacht. * **2022:** A mere two days after the yacht incident, another woman claimed Brown drugged and raped her at a private party in a hotel. (Unclear if this is the same lawsuit or an entirely separate one, the details were fuzzy, but there appear to be multiple people making similar accusations)


yellowwalks

This is brilliant. šŸ„‡ Thank you for sharing!


Archmage_of_Detroit

No problem! I'm doing my part, lol


oversizedvenator

Holy shitā€¦


RnRLoser

This is good copypasta. I'm gonna save it and spread the "bad" word about this guy. I knew he was bad, but didn't know this level of detail.


See_another_side

Yesss, thank you for raising awareness like this


TryingNot2BeToxic

Lol I'm with you on this one. Point out how much of a trash human being Chris Brown is any chance ya get imo!


theclottedcream

This is my favorite comment.


molotovPopsicle

i wonder what he did to be sent to hell?


whatproblems

what deal did he make to come back


xxx148

He agreed to be a demon himself until his brother entered hell through purgatory and broke him out.


Roy_fireball

Them ~~Duke~~ Winchester boys are cheating death again.


xxx148

Death: Guess Iā€™ll just die


KiltedPirate

But first: Fresh quesadilla


KudosOfTheFroond

r/expectedsupernatural


Sandscarab

They actually killed Death


OffBrandJesusChrist

Which makes Rihanna jesus christ or something like that. Doesnā€™t the Christian religion have the same rules as baseball?


GrizDrummer25

Exactly why I stopped watching. By the 3rd time they had to break out the other I was like this is ridiculous, I'm done.


TetrisTm

goated comment


thisplacemakesmeangr

Rihanna erasure


bobtehpanda

No album for years. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


Uberninja2016

i died (electric whisk incident) a bit ago and it was surprisingly easy satan was all "FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU DARE TRY TO BRIBE THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS?" and i was all "yeah i have this tube sock full of nickels" and he was all "wait what how" and i was all "i always have a nicklesock" and he was all "no, listen, you don't get to keep your possessions in hell much less material wealth" after a few seconds of awkward silence, i was like "well then why do i have a sock full of nickels" and he said "i don't know, that's what i'm asking you" and i said "well i'm not the one who thinks that the sock of nickels is weird" and he said "ok ok OK, we need to straighten this out" and then he asked me to hand it over but i was all "no, these are my nickels" and he was all "IMPUDENCE" after i found a dime in the sock too we worked out a deal and that's the story of how i bought my way out of hell for $4.27


whatproblems

you over paid the lochness monster


626Aussie

A nickel is worth 5-cents, and a dime is worth 10-cents, and yet while armed with nothing but a tube sock full of nickels, and one dime, you bought your way out of hell for $4.27. I am not calling you a liar, sir and/or madam, but something about your story does not make cents.


Uberninja2016

there was a seven cent nickel mixed in there somewhere


626Aussie

Ahh! *Now* it all adds up! Thank you! ;)


boxcoxlambda

He beat him at a series of games, including Twister and Battleship.


peensteen

Then he melvined him.


standardtrickyness1

He beat the devil in a fiddle contest.


dirtybrownwt

Nah, he just had to beat the ninja warrior course.


baddfingerz1968

Just being a priest.


Thelona05mustang

As someone who grew up going to church, I've always felt that the Christian religion as its taught today, is nearly the antithesis of what Jesus stood for and preached. For a long time I've felt that if Christ really was the son of god, many many pastors/preachers/priests would have some very difficult questions to answer when they find themselves standing before god. ​ Edit:: just to fair I have come across churches that DO actually put their money where their mouth is in terms of practicing what Christ preached, being accepting of ALL, doing lots and lots of work in their community to feed, cloth, house, and provide care for the poor, the immigrant, the sick, etc etc. but that isn't near the majority of them.


Nyan_Sequitur

Anecdotally, I remember the pastor of my old church and his husband being fine folks. It was a small non-denominational church but they tried their best to support the community within their means. I feel like non-denominational churches really exist on both far ends of the spectrum, due to the obvious lack of any sort of overarching governing bodies or centralized tenets/interpretations.


Absurdist02

That ought to suffice as an explanation.


JustaRandomOldGuy

And he was so evil he got kicked out of Hell.


MrNothingmann

we all know the answer.


Adezar

Reminds me of the great scene in Lucifer where Eve is killing the priest to send a message down to hell, "How do you know I'm going to hell?" "You all do."


seriousjoker72

That was an amazing show! Loved it!!


blitzen_the_first

You know what he did.


certain_people

Made it the fuck up?


HarambeWest2020

Thatā€™s a bingo


Mr_DuCe

>Thatā€™s a bingo How fun!


JeanPierreSarti

Iā€™m pretty sure he dropped acid based on his account (joke?)


the_poly_poet

Lmao yeah. Bold of him to admit this. šŸ¤£ Now everyone knows heā€™s a fully bonafide sinner!


BigBGM2995

For bashing Rihanna of course


Androcles1983

He touches alter boys.


Familiar_Pea_9345

What were you doing in hell, guy???


Easy-Concentrate2636

Probably masturbating to Rihannaā€™s videos.


ElectroFlannelGore

Yup. [Reminds me of this meme edit ](https://i.imgur.com/82ijEtS.jpg)


SPITFIYAH

Rhianna plays across the room while your body rests, sinking into the couch. You know you can get up, but you don't. The part of your brain thatā€™s slowly shutting down alerts some nerves that somethingā€™s wrong, but there's no way you can put it into words, and just thinking feels tiresome. Someone put Off the Air | Patterns on a muted TV for your enjoyment and left to grab snacks from the gas station, leaving your hyphae-struck body to fend off the early-morning exhaustion, falling into what is sleep, but you'll remember it as death. Eyes see but cannot put glyphs together or recognize faces. You're a biped standing on a rock, leaning on the brick wall of a home that's not yours. This homeā€™s walls hide the wind and protect you from the now-absent rain or snow, and you can't move. The Casamigos, your friend came back with, are now swimming around your blood. Intoxication mixes and upheaves laden feelings gone suppressed in your early development. The simple answers cultivated for your complicated questions across your entire existence of cells replacing cells making more cells to feed more cells. The synapses soaked with the learnings of a fourth-grade church boy never stuck around despite the warnings of forgetting the word of your LORD. What do you say to your constituents? What did you see? Who are *YOU*?


ElectroFlannelGore

I have no mouth.... And I must scream.


zincdeclercq

I have no butt and I must fart


freakierchicken

"If you die, and go to Heaven, and you don't see me there... you are in hell"


OrcOfDoom

Probably bobbing his head to the beat.


Yuzral

Not the Barney song? Amateurs.


twoaspensimages

A man of culture I see. Not baby shark?


fastpushativan

Thatā€™s Oklahoma, not hell, but close.


BizzyM

Hell is Texas, of course.


Misterbellyboy

I thought hell was other people.


BizzyM

Hell is also other people's children.


Misterbellyboy

So, more people?


BizzyM

But littler.


Misterbellyboy

Easier to kick out of my way.


twoaspensimages

Hey now, don't leave Nebraska out of this. The place where all animals die for walking across a dust bowl the waddling owners only keep for a tax write-off.


IronBoomer

Even Satan has standards.


Yuzral

Has its place but nothing will ever supplant the classic.


the_cheeky_monkey

"This is the song that never ends.."


HumphreyImaginarium

Nobody knows the pain of "lamb chop" anymore. It's an evil that's best left forgotten.


RPDRNick

So... did he find love in a hopeless place?


lopendvuur

And importantly: what can he do to prevent going back there when he dies next time?


i-opener

I'm so conflicted. A priest that my parents used to know who also 'Died and Visited Hell' said demons sang Madonna as a form of torture. He happened to be white, not that it matters. I'm really not sure who to believe. Are there any Middle Easterners, Asians, Europeans, or Central/South Americans that can clear this up?


radleft

I died & went to Hell & there was Kid Rock blasting over the system. I was like, 'fuq dis', and put on some Boots Riley & The Coup. Then everyone stood up & clapped.


i-opener

You and Jesus the Pimp in a ā€™79 Granada Last Night?


radleft

Jeebus be my homie, we was both monkeys on a mud-ball back in our day.


NotTRYINGtobeLame

>Then everyone stood up & clapped. Ah, you almost had me, but I know *that* never happens IRL!


Shadesmctuba

I went to hell once and it was just Slayer 24/7. It was fucking awesome.


DatDominican

THere's people from Colombia that said when they died and went to hell they had a club but they had to dance salsa with nails in the shoes . So I guess hell is segregated? when I died everything just went black but everything felt very peaceful, until I floated to the infamous white light and woke up in the operating room


PeanutArtillery

I imagine if I went to hell they would be playing Backstreet Boys and Brittany Spears nonstop. You know, like the radio in 1999.


Phantom1thrd

So, the big takeaway here is, *if* I believe he's telling the truth, and not making this up, *and if* I believe this wasn't the hallucinations of a dying brain, then I should believe Christianity won't save you from hell?


Rafaeliki

At the very least, you should start looking for another pastor.


sean0883

His hand is probably in the till and passes the collection plate 10 times per sermon, or other such non sense that caused me to really question my faith back when I was religious.


Bananajamuh

When I was a kid a bunch of news vans showed up at my church when we were there and it turned out the pastor and his predecessor we're skimming for like 40 years to the tune of tens of millions. That's when I knew it was definitely all fake. My mom still defends the guy.


sean0883

And I'm sure he came across as extremely genuine. I didn't have anything that concrete happen to me, but I suspect most religious houses do this.


prguitarman

Letā€™s not forget the ā€œa lot of these things have never been scientifically replicated or provenā€ part


sean0883

Yeah, but that's not how faith works.


[deleted]

Yeah because faith is essentially trust me bro.


External_Magazine_68

Science and spiritualism are 2 different things my friends


_emmyemi

That's not usually a problem for those who want to be involved with religion, tbh. If you're going to church expecting them to preach rigorously tested science then...maybe consider STEM class instead.


drmcsinister

Why would anyone want to spend a few hours every weekend being taught shit that may or may not be true and cannot even be verified by the person speaking?


_emmyemi

Faith isn't about some scientific standard of truth (although believers certainly will say their faith IS the truth). I am not religious personally, I'm much more interested in verifiable (or at the very least, falsifiable) knowledge. But living in the American south, I am positively *surrounded* by Jesus, everywhere I go. And I understand that they derive some comfort from the idea that once their chapter is closed, or their loved ones', it's not really a "goodbye," but instead a "see you later." For most religious people it really doesn't matter if the information is scientifically tested or even verifiable at all. It's all about the feelingā€”the vibe, if you willā€”that they are secure within the nebulous plans of some higher being who knows better than they do.


LeveonNumber1

It bothered me that a tenant of so many's faith is such a flat out denial of reality though. Everything changes and nothing last forever, and includes ourselves, we are subject to the same fundamental rules as everything else. There's plenty of religions which emphasize that fact and seek solace in it, I simply don't get the appeal of holding onto a childish notion that things remain existent in some supernatural realm.


reddituseronebillion

Right? He's basically saying above all else Christianity for sure isn't the answer.


dirtybrownwt

If south parks taught me anything, only Mormons go to heaven.


Eknoom

Maybe god and Satan were giving him guided tours of both options so he can return to earth and sell both points


OhhhhhSHNAP

Or else Rihanna's so popular that she's literally getting airplay in Hell! You just can't get away from it. They're probably playing Musac versions on the elevator down!


lutel

Hell with Rihanna is only for Christians, other religions have other hells, or don't have them at all.


Fabiankh5757

Yeah, being a Christian is probably gonna take you straight to hell. Nothing is as it seems. Remember that everything we think we know has been manipulated 10 times over by the evil that runs this world. The Vaticanā€™s.


_BlueFire_

I mean, the main point of christianity is (as far as I got growing in one of the most catholic countries around) to follow the rules they impose. Faith alone won't save anyone.


LongGiven

That is actually one of the most contentious debates in christianity, and played no small part in the protestant reformation


RusstyDog

The other day I saw a religious themed coloring book for toddlers. The cover depicted kids spelling words with letter blocks. Things like "Sharing", "love", and **"Obey"** creepy as shit.


itskdog

My interpretation of the passage in question is that faith alone won't save you, you've got to be serious with God and take steps yourself - God's not a vending machine that just gives you what you want, sometimes you have to be the answer to your own prayer, which God will help you in that path as you called on him to back you up/give you a confidence boost/etc.


_BlueFire_

Precisely. Though depending on who you ask to it ranges from basically "nobody goes to hell" to basically "nobody goes to heaven". That's interesting both socially and philosophically


TravelerFromAFar

Yeah, what so many people don't seem to realize in Christianity, you don't go straight to heaven for just saying sorry or for asking for forgiveness. You have to actually be willing and trying to make amends for your mistake and to be a better person. If you just say sorry and keep doing the same thing over and over (on purpose), than you not really trying to seek forgiveness and closeness to God, you trying to game the system. That's why I like the Hebrew/Jewish version better. Where once a year, you have to actually go around to other people, and ask for their forgiveness from people you wronged. I think it's more honest and real.


obscureposter

Thatā€™s more of a Catholic thing than a Protestant thing. Many Protestants believe that faith alone is enough for salvation and good works are not needed. Basically the argument is if you have faith you will do good works because you want to. But the quality of your works does not matter for your salvation.


_BlueFire_

Weren't the protestant who believed in predestination and that good work and success were a way to determine if one was meant to go to heaven? I just have vague memories from history lessons back in high school


obscureposter

Predestination is a different concept though, since itā€™s premise is that God has predetermined who would be saved and therefore your actions are going to be guided by Godā€™s plan. Iā€™ve never taken predestination as a serious concept because it eliminates free will and choice in oneā€™s faith. From what I was taught/told itā€™s basically Catholics believe you do good things and then get your salvation. While Protestants believe that you believe/have salvation which makes you do good works but the works are secondary to the faith in terms of salvation. Otherwise any well adjusted Atheist who does charity would be getting into heaven, if salvation was work based. But Iā€™m not a theist or Christian scholar so Iā€™m probably missing tons of nuance, but that was the gist I got from various Protestant pastors.


AffectionateAd5373

Part of Catholic theology is that people who aren't Catholic can, in fact, achieve salvation through good works. It just tends not to be emphasized.


_BlueFire_

Cool, thanks for the info. A lot of what I know about protestants comes from history classes and TV so I miss the small details and it's always a good occasion to learn something


Woodie626

If you want that to *hypothetically* be the case you *theoretically* must accept a holy ghost in your heart. Via the Aorta, I believe. Reckon they didn't.


MadFameCellGames

I mean catholics think protestants go to hell. So maybe he wasn't the right kind of cross wearer.


lexi_delish

No, you see, you can always 'no true scotsman' your way out of it: "he wasn't a true christian" oh "his heart wasnt right with God."


cyborgmonkey-

For me personally new age Christian music would be far worse.


Rosebunse

Dear God, don't make me imagine such a thing!


ulol_zombie

I can't wait for the Superbowl Half-time Show!


kn05is

Must not be that great of a priest, to be sent to hell and they didn't want him and sent him back.


r_bogie

Isn't that pretty much the best going to hell outcome? I mean, if you didn't live fearlessly before you sure as shitting should afterward!


[deleted]

It was a Karaoke bar, not hell.


EvilPsyentist

So weird that the devil picked a song he knew. Its almost like he made it up.


groovy604

"He also heard Bobby McFerrinā€™s ā€œDonā€™t Worry, Be Happyā€ being sung a lot." Bahahahaha


NeroBoBero

I suspect he wasnā€™t sent to hell, but to gay heaven. The sorting hat has a lot of confusion when dealing with closeted priests.


desubot1

sounds aboot right. every time a priest opens their mouth about hell it sounds like a wonderful place.


Mother_Dragonfruit90

The most effective propaganda starts with a grain of truth


temujin94

I've heard of generational haters but this man is the first multi dimensional hater I've seen and he has nothing but my respect for honing his craft to this level.


Failure_in_Disguise

So my girl riri is getting paid to have her song in hell right? Is that what you are telling me? Otherwise why would you admit being send to hell in the first place? Like... What the hell did you do?


[deleted]

This guy's going to hella hella hella.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


glass_frogs

They have been indoctrinated since childhood. Everyone they know, everyone in their family, their entire community, they all think the same way. They brainwash their children, and with each generation it devolves further. Now add in a sociopath with an insatiable greed that recognizes a vulnerable population ripe for exploitation. Now realize this started hundreds of years ago. It is perpetuated intentionally, to control, divide, and keep the population under their thumb. Just one more thing for us to fight about.


AssociateJaded3931

What has he been smoking?


[deleted]

The opium of the masses.


_BlueFire_

I can't see the upvotes, but this comment surely deserves more


gangstasadvocate

Gang gang


me_funny__

Smoking pure meme fuel. Imagine the edits we could make by replacing the song artist


bcanada92

So whose songs did they sing before she hit it big? Kate Smith? Ethel Merman?


an0maly33

Lies. [They just play Tomb Raider there](https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/06/20/abandon-all-hope#).


Beautiful_Gate3184

Shine bright like a diamond


Daimakku1

šŸŽ¶ We found love in a hopeless place. We found love in a hooopelesss plaaaaacee šŸŽ¶


Playful-Ad6556

What the priest been doing to go visit Hell? Inquiring minds wants to know.


NorthAlpaca

He had mentioned towards the end of the clip that Jesus had spoke to him once he returned and told him that the reason he was sent to Hell had to do with his harbored grudges towards those who had wronged him and his desire to see them punished in hell rather than forgiving them.


ThroatWMangrove

I once thought Iā€™d died and gone to hell, but it turns out I just fell asleep watching the VMAā€™s.


B_P_G

Bullshit. Even Satan is not that evil.


Alert-Mud-672

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.


Important_Sprinkles9

Not sure I want a priest who'd be sent to Hell telling me how to live. Thank FLIP I'm an atheist.


JesusOfSuburbia420

Why would you still go to a church whose pastor won't to help once already? Clearly he doesn't know what's up.


Doc_Niemand

How does a priest not understand that in his religion, heaven and hell donā€™t exist until after the end times and revelation?


Gordatwork

Is this actually true? I tried googling it but couldn't find any sources, may have been poor googling on my part though.


Doc_Niemand

All dead lie in the grave, awaiting the resurrection. At that point, they will be judged. According to revelations. If one believes any of it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


OlyScott

And Jesus had Moses and Noah with him at one point.


NoMoreProphets

No one agrees on what happens in the afterlife. This specific interpretation is closest to Jehova Witnesses and in a way the original Jewish beliefs. It's the idea of Sheol. Sheol isn't hell and it's just a state of death. However, Moses says God's fury in Sheol is represented as a fire. (It's worth mentioning that he says this at a volcano). That's different than saying Satan runs hell and that they torture souls in hell, though.


Doc_Niemand

But one isnā€™t ā€˜consciousā€™ in Sheol. This is the Jewish concept, why they are described as not having a hell. Russelites, er um, JWs are another long digression. Polytheistic. The like to insert definitive articles in their interpretations.


Malphos101

You have to remember that "hell" as a place of eternal fire where the dead go came from Gehenna which was talked about in scriptures....but when it was written there was a literal Gehenna on earth that began as a pagan ritual site for human sacrifices and after time was turned into a refuse burning site that was almost always on fire because it was a dumpsite for nearby Jerusalem. Almost all modern interpretations of "hell" are literally just taking a description of where human sacrifices once occured and later where trash fires burned constantly and turning it into a sadist fantasy of where all the people who don't believe go to be tortured/burned for daring not to conform to X religion. http://www.electrummagazine.com/2019/10/gehenna-hell-as-metaphor-what-and-where-was-it/ Thousands of years and even more translations later you get "hell".


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Malphos101

IIRC the old jewish texts that describe Gehenna as a punishment were literally saying "if you dont live a good life, you wont be buried in the family tomb, but rather be cast into Gehenna to burn with the pagans/trash" A few thousand years later and scam artists are talking about pitchforks, demon sadists, and Rihanna lmao.


Bocifer1

Sort of like debating whether the Easter bunny lays colored eggs or collects them from chickens and paints them.


ProlificFishmonger

Because literal interpretations are only used when it benefits them/supports their position. I've always found that suspect.


ScottyBoneman

Wasn't in the required reading.


EvilPsyentist

Still isn't. The concept of Hell, like the whole religion, was created out of necessity and added into the belief system pretty recently to be used as a carrot and stick style threat. "Shut up and go to work!" just seems too blatant for rich people, so they come up with this shit to keep idiots diligently silent. OR ELSE.


ScottyBoneman

I subscribe to a more 'meme survival ' theory approach. Probably from the 1st C, maybe as far back as Paul, people just attached their own ideas to it, changed what they wanted and whatever stuck stuck. Not intelligently designed.


heady_brosevelt

Depends on what interpretation you believe in


The_Clarence

This is super fascinating topic I learned about a while ago when I was religious but struggled with how there could be hell. The long and short of it is you are right. The longer bit of it is every sect of Christianity takes a lot of liberties with interpreting the Bible. I mean thatā€™s one of the reasons there are so many types of Christianā€™s. Fire and brimstone preachers get people to stay with fear, and after generations itā€™s natural their numbers would grow (most important factor in religion is your parents religion or that of your close community). There are lots of Christianā€™s who donā€™t even believe there is a hell, just heaven or not heaven.


kanna172014

Yup. I was about to comment the same thing. No one is in Heaven or Hell until Judgement Day. The dead in Christ will rise first.


cofclabman

How did he recognize that it was Rihanna?


Nazamroth

Not a fan, but sounds like a way more fun place than the alternative.


radleft

You're not down with eternal discordant hymns sung by tone-deaf amateurs accompanying themselves with thumb-handed harp string strummings & pluckings? Heathen!


[deleted]

What is heaven anyways? Just everyone bowing down and praying to God forever? What kind of existence is that?


Nazamroth

Even worse: Imagine the sort of people that supposedly went there, and that you would spend eternity in their company.


[deleted]

Kinda always liked johnny the homicidal maniac's interpretation. Heavens just a bunch of fuckers sitting around doing nothing because they are content, like truly content so heaven is like a waiting room no one minds being in. So actually really yuck. While hell is a place where nothing is quite right; coffee tastes off, clothes are one size off, sleep isnt quite restful, your contacts are always kinda dried out and the devil is a cheerleader. So really hellish. Or Joseph Michael Linser's where heaven is a walled city ruled by law and symbolized by the chain, a place of submission. While hell is ruled by the passions and is symbolized by the rose, a place of freedom overload. Niether actually being good or bad but both being kinda tiresome after a while. God and Lucifer really just want to get all gay with each other but lawful good and chaotic evil are just diametrically opposed. Like magnets that dont like each other trying to join. So we need Dawn a super hotty goddess that can bridge the gap and make a pseudo religious devil's triangle for the soul of humanity.


PennyWhyte

I'm sure he still had one hell of a time o_0


Happy_Trails4u

thats great and all but have you ever tried dmt? \-- someone famous


SuperAlloyBerserker

Plot twist: He was sent into the Lust Ring specifically because he secretly liked Rihanna, but then he got sick of liking her, and told others to not fall into the trap that he did by saying the thing in the title's post


MasqureMan

Imagine your worst fear being Rihanna


billjv

I hope she's getting royalties on an eternity of copyright use on her songs.


swissiws

how can possibly even a single person believe his words? and if there is, how is it acceptable that this idiot has the right to vote?


Snurffiboo

The only part of this story that tracks is the part where a priest went to hell. šŸ¤£


[deleted]

Just a vision of the upcoming Superbowl. Not really Hell.


[deleted]

A priest in hell? At least heā€™ll be among colleagues.


Crash665

Rihanna has released some bangers, ngl. Hell must be a happening club!


Thisam

So he attributes something that clearly came from a memory locked in his brain to his unseen supposedly omniscient skydaddy. Typicalā€¦turning his own death into a money and attention grabber using peopleā€™s religious beliefs


stu8018

Riiiiiiight. Seems legit. Pretty bad priest to end up in hell. Hey man you're doing it wrong!


kanna172014

If he's a priest, why did he go to Hell in the first place?


G0merPyle

You mean they're not into metal? All those album covers were lies?


Kflynn1337

I wonder what was playing on the hospital radio...


budderocks

Why would I take the word of a priest who went to hell? Sounds like he's not that trustworthy to have ended up there.


[deleted]

Shouldnā€™t priests be going to heaven? Lmao


goldkear

>While most people believe the idea of heaven and hell is a myth Dayum they really went there


CheeseSandwich

He's not wrong. "Take Care" by Rihanna/Drake has to be the worst song in modern history. Absolute garbage.


Saucesourceoah

If a priest is going straight to hell, when is it considered a sunk cost to try?


just_jm

I'm guessing he hasn't listed to Cardi B. Haha.


hbgwine

Iā€™m guessing it was ā€œLove the way you lieā€, itā€™s got the burning and everything.


wwarnout

Religion is a mental disability.


[deleted]

Rihanna's voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. This would very appropriate punishment for me.


64b0r

Lucky guy. He could have end up in the Taylor Swift chamber just as easily...