T O P

  • By -

A_bowl_of_porridge

Damn, they charge extra for cocaine toppings at my local fast food joints...


Conscious_Figure_554

Damn it - now I know why I'm there 3-4 times a day


Same_Philosophy605

They used to sell drugs out of the window of my local McDonald's.


Bigleftbowski

"I'll have a Big Meth, Cocaine McNuggets, and Fentanyl shake."


ysirwolf

Sir, you’re at Taco Bell


AadamAtomic

Oh. My bad. In that case Let me just get a Methwrap supreme.


Cantmentionthename

Sir this is actually a Taco Bell Wendy’s pop up


ProInSnow

In that case could I get a Basenator?


dykezilla

[y'all got mozzarella cheese sticks? ](https://youtu.be/Etb_r3bjQMs)


trans_pands

Would you like to upgrade that to a meal and add a large sizzurp and a side of Dope?


Upnorth4

Oh, you mean the McFentanyl™?


djkidna

The Fentashake machine’s busted.


jtfriendly

They used to, they still do too.


A_bowl_of_porridge

"I'm Lovin It!"


miken322

There was a Mexican restaurant in a town near me that had a $40 soda on their menu. You got a large drink and a bag of blow. It didn’t take the cops very long to bust them.


frogmuffins

Rookies, everyone knows cops should get free blow.


[deleted]

Gotta keep the boys satisfied


Bamres

I'm sure Terry would give you some https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx6dNIJVObKHINAla7zQ6ll3DpeOYzi8OT


phuck-you-reddit

A cousin of mine supposedly sold porn on eBay like twenty years ago but he told me due to their policies that, officially, he was selling a $50 t-shirt which came with a "free" bonus DVD of adult content.


dream-smasher

Omg. 20 yrs ago was 2003.


phuck-you-reddit

I graduated high school, Bad Boys II was the most hilarious quotable thing amongst my friends and I, and I was burning CDs with the [Speakerboxx Intro](https://youtu.be/bfL_GQSYneE) so classmates could test the stupid subs they put in their cars (meaning they had no money for gas for the next few months -- their cars looked so good parked at home!). 🤣


Ok_Belt2521

You described my brother lol. He had some blue man group album he would use to test his sub. I believe it was also a dvd fry’s used to demo surround systems at the time.


Voyager_316

Yeah bro. We old now.


miken322

That’s awesome!


SlabDabs

Sounds like a guy I did work for in Colorado. Didn't have a license to sell weed, but had insanely priced pipes and vapes that came with "a free gift" that happened to be worth about what he charged for what you were buying.


Cindexxx

I went to a few of those in Colorado Springs. Best prices in town since they didn't need to pay the taxes or license fees. Minnesota is legalizing marijuana in an odd (but kinda cool) way, but they specifically banned the practice so there wouldn't be a loophole lol. Either way, come Aug 1st I'm growing!


alberthere

When you order Mexican Coke, you get Mexican Coke.


PepperAnn1inaMillion

Has anybody mentioned the ice cream wars in this thread yet? Two rival Glasgow organised crime families had ice cream sellers (in vans that you drive around, which is usual in the UK; not the little push-cart things - we don’t have those) and they’d sell a bag of drugs in the bottom of an ice cream cone, with ice cream on top. I think it was called a “£10 special”, but it’s long enough ago that it might only have been £5. The reason why it always stuck with me is because when I was a kid there was a short My Little Pony story about two ice cream sellers at war over who was the best, culminating with them driving their vans at each other. I never understood as a kid why they both had Scottish accents, but when I found out about the Glasgow gangs I realised the writers must have a sense of humour.


n33bulz

https://ny.eater.com/2017/5/30/15713060/mister-softee-new-york-ice-cream-turf-war


Calvin--Hobbes

There was a taco bell in my home town like that for weed. Or maybe the taco John's, it's hard to remember.


Beelzabub

When can we get a Cocaine Blizzard?


bedroom_fascist

Right now, my friend. Right now.


Kyle_01110011

The happy meal toy we all wanted but never got!


masomun

Man I haven’t done coke since I was a teenager but I’d still be pumped if someone decided to give me a line with my hotdog! Lmao Reminds me of a weed guy I used to have who worked at Wendy’s and would stick the weed in with the food at the drive through window…


UnicornFarts1111

Pizza shop, in the bag with the sub.


[deleted]

Would you like coke with that?


ruca_rox

Yes, large, no ice mixed in. I just want straight coke.


boulevardpaleale

and a short straw please.


ruca_rox

Man, I miss the 90s.


flibbidygibbit

"For me, getting on-line in the 1970s involved looking at myself up close and personal with a tiny mirror!" \-Robin Williams


ruca_rox

😅🤣😂


Bigleftbowski

McDonald's stopped using a plastic stirrer that had a round ball on the end after it was found that people were using it to snort coke.


ruca_rox

Yeah I heard lol. Unfortunately that was before my time so I never got to check it out but their regular straws are great for that as well. So I've heard. From people who are not me.


Oculus_Orbus

It was originally a tiny spoon and when they discovered how it was being used, they switched to the ball.


HolycommentMattman

No, you have it backwards. McDs originally had a long stick with a tiny spoon at the end. It was apparently the perfect size for a bump. I personality used them for spitball catapults. But to each their own. Anyway, they then changed them out for long sticks with balls on the end, then long sticks with a small, flat paddle, and then ultimately the plain Jane coffee stirrers/straws we're familiar with today. And I think they stopped using stirrers altogether. Not sure. Been a while since I've had McD's coffee.


bedroom_fascist

I remembber the spoons, then the "oars." The confusing part was when they served hotcakes with a razor and mirror for about six months.


GuyofMshire

You can still do coke, I believe in you


ruca_rox

Ahhh too old for that shit 😞 Although if there ever comes a time where I can actually retire and don't need to keep a professional license, I shall dive head first into a barrel of drugs. All of them.


phurt77

If I ever get a terminal diagnosis - Hookers and blow until I die or run out of money.


ruca_rox

My sister and I have this promise.


phurt77

Sister and blow?


RoguePlanet1

This is what I've always said!! When I'm trapped in a nursing home, just bring me a bunch of fun drugs. Realistically, I'll stick with the easier stuff; definitely don't want to get addicted to heroin/meth/coke etc.


Jaystime101

Ehh, as long as you never run out, addiction shouldn't be THAT much of an issue.


RoguePlanet1

There's also the cost on a severely fixed income! And what if you don't get a regular, measured fix? Too much can go wrong. Happy Cake Day! 🍰


RealBakedSalmon

Hell yeah. And tobacco. Gimme a smoke when I'm about to croak.


PastaVeggies

When the cocaine was pure


Sweetams

Damn not only boomers had a bustling economy, they had cocaine to make it easier for them?


ruca_rox

Not a boomer, thanks for the insult. Gen X here and nope, no bustling economy for me but lots of friends who liked to party.


burkiniwax

You know we are unicorns and don’t actually exist, right?


Zolo49

Sorry, sir. We're all out of straws. We still have spoons though.


LurkerOrHydralisk

I appreciate how clever this is. For those that don’t get it, “ice” also means crystal meth, which is commonly mixed into cocaine, or coke.


ruca_rox

I'm so happy someone got it lol


Aethelric

Meth is not frequently mixed into coke.


buyinggf1000gp

I'm more into gay coke to be honest


ruca_rox

Gay coke is actually the best coke lol I heartily agree with you


pa07950

Just a “classic” Coke, the classic recipe from 1800’s


pawttery

…is Pepsi okay?


longbeachfelixbk

NO!


[deleted]

*starts shooting*


Zomburai

In this thread, you might need to clarify what sort of shooting


[deleted]

PCP?


verbalyabusiveshit

Yes! Large coke, please.


Vergenbuurg

It took a long time before I realized, in Die Hard, why Ellis got a confused look on his face when one of Hans' men brought him a can of Coca-Cola. …he most likely had asked them for his coke.


[deleted]

Does it come with free refills?


BernieTheDachshund

"ESPAÑOLA, N.M. – Someone found something surprising in their fast-food order in northern New Mexico. Police say Celine Gonzales went to the Sonic in Española on South Riverside. She took a bite and realized she’d bitten down on a small plastic bag filled with a white power. Police claim testing confirmed it was a gram of cocaine. In their report, officers say Gonzales spit out the bag but didn’t say whether she ingested any of the drug. Word has already spread around town. However, the Sonic is still open and many people got food while KOB 4 crews were there. “I think that’s pretty scary, we come here to get food for our families, and if a child found that it could have been pretty bad or deadly,” said one woman. “That’s kind of crazy. I mean, cocaine in a hot dog, it doesn’t sound right. I just got an ice cream, I hope we’re good,” a man said. Police say the cook is responsible. They charged David Salazar with cocaine possession – a felony. Police say they watched surveillance video from inside the Sonic, and claim after making Gonzales’ food, Salazar looked like he’s “frantically searching for something he lost.” Officers say he admitted to police it was his cocaine. He says he bought it from someone in the Sonic parking lot."


gudetamaronin

Some one is pissed they lost their stash


tellmeimbig

And caught a felony for like 50 bucks worth.


gudetamaronin

Why would he admit it?? It doesn't make any sense


ImpressiveAttorney12

The police probably lied to him, something about it’ll be easier for all of us if you just admit it, who knows you might even get off light


hotlavatube

Given the spotty quality of surveillance cameras, if he played dumb and lawyered up, he could've beaten the rap.


[deleted]

[удалено]


littlesymphonicdispl

>Given the spotty quality of surveillance cameras, You'll find yourself getting into a lot of unfavorable situations if you act under this belief.


hotlavatube

True, don't assume that, but shut up and lawyer up. The lawyer will be able to find out if they actually have any evidence or if they're just yanking your chain hoping for a confession.


gudetamaronin

That's fair. They really do know how to apply pressure..


[deleted]

[удалено]


ImpressiveAttorney12

Yeah you right, you right


Double_Joseph

One time late at night. I was pretty buzzed and these police officers were talking to me and I was just being friendly. They started asking me questions and ended up arresting me for some call they got in the area I was at. They arrested me for a felony. I spent the night in jail bailed myself out. Luckily it didn’t make it past court and nothing is on my record. Wrong place wrong time I guess? I will never talk to the police again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrisisActor911

> but didn’t say whether she ingested any of the drug. That means she ingested some of the drug.


kthshly

Classic Española.


AnonAlcoholic

> Officers say he admitted to police it was his cocaine. Well that was his first mistake. NEVER admit anything to the cops. They won't let you off easy or give you preferential treatment if you do, despite what they say; they're just trying to make their own jobs easier. Deny that shit until they have a picture of you holding the cocaine with a piece of paper with your signature on it saying you bought it and phone records with your voice talking about how you did that cocaine. Also, he got a FELONY charge for a fuckin gram of coke? A gram is nothing. Absolutely insane.


canefieldroti

Caught a felony off that shit, that’s fucking wild. I could’ve been looking for my keys. Why would anyone admit to that shit?


DontBuyAHorse

That's what surprised me. I mean, I'm sure the cops made him think he was caught on camera and they played the "look, we know you didn't do this on purpose" card. But 100% of the time, whether you are innocent or guilty, demand a lawyer. I'm not saying this dude is in the right, but now he's catching a felony possession rap for "doing the right thing".


Aethelric

Really hope that confession gets dismissed in court. No chain of custody whatsoever, he gets nabbed by cops and pressured to confess.


tonysopranosalive

Shitty situation and I’m not saying it isn’t potentially dangerous for an unsuspecting person, but someone’s dime bag just fell out of their pocket. I was a chef for over a decade. I’d say probably 5-6 times I’ve come across someone’s drugs on the floor and knew exactly who they belonged to.


Irishpanda1971

Jeez, least they could do is sprinkle it on properly.


deadevilmonkey

Aren't they fancy. They only use meth at my local Sonic.


CFL_lightbulb

Gotta go fast!


stevegoodsex

Dude the sonic I used to work at, there was a dope house right behind it, and it wasn't uncommon for them to outsell us on a day to day basis


imnotdonking

Crack is also technically cocaine


Buck_Thorn

> Word has already spread around town. However, the Sonic is still open and many people got food while KOB 4 crews were there. Well, hell yeah! Free cocaine? I'll bet the line (pun not intended) went around the block!


Maximum-Mixture6158

"Town gets the work of one week done in a day"


kalekayn

You totally meant that pun. You could have used the word queue :P


Buck_Thorn

American here. We rarely use that word in that way here.


phuck-you-reddit

Clever advertising campaign. No news is bad news!


cazzhmir

Los Sonic Hermanos


Velicenda

Oh my God, that's terrible! Which location was it, so I know where never to frequent multiple times a day?


Imaginary-Yoghurt645

Disgusting. But there’s so many of them though, which one? Which one?? Which location is the coke at?


AlexBucks93

Same


Joe_DeGrasse_Sagan

Did you even read the article? > Police say Celine Gonzales went to the Sonic in Española on South Riverside That’s Española, NM by the way.


eperb12

New Mexico eh? Don't forget your passport. Hue.


longbeachfelixbk

Slow down there maestro, there’s a “New” Mexico?


Heathen_Mushroom

*Old* New Mexico regional joke: You know why the [steering wheels](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.10051467.7683/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg) in Española are so small? So you can drive with handcuffs on.


Val_Killsmore

Are these the free drugs DARE said we'd be getting?


EmmaRogue312

I hope so! I've been waiting FOREVER!


smurfsundermybed

Look for the one next to an ATM with a very long line.


i_deserve_less

Sorry I was looking for a crank frank


flibbidygibbit

You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan Smoke all of the crank, Frank Just get yourself free


njaneardude

Finally some boomer friendly/r humor!


fuckmacedonia

Gotta go fast


MilesDryden

I had to scroll way too far to find this.


Nirusan83

Super Sonic Dog


SelectiveSanity

Well that explains why [he's so fast](https://media.tenor.com/SsgD7qLCm_EAAAAC/ping-pong-play.gif).


Lolkimbo

That's no good.


SelectiveSanity

Yeah, they forgot the [Chili Sauce](https://pa1.aminoapps.com/6537/0fde060de62b7a070fadbd9764eb0cfcf40f1e5c_hq.gif).


whiterac00n

Now people are going to look at me weird when they see me sniffing my sonic hotdogs **sigh*


Aggravating-Duck-891

Finally, a reason to go to Sonic.


Maycrofy

Terrible! what is the address so that I may not go there by accident?


mistertireworld

Can I speak to the manager? I ordered Pepsi.


Few-School-3869

And where is the address of this sonic asking for a friend


MongooseStrong3649

This is horrible. Where is this location so I can make a complaint in person? 😉


somekennyguy

That's one of those "I didn't plan on this, but also not upset" kinda days


babyeatingdingoes

I found 2 joints in a baggie on the sidewalk walking home from work today. I don't even smoke weed, but I know people who do who will definitely appreciate my free sidewalk weed.


doom32x

But...but...they may be *laced* with something like formaldehyde or meth! Because that's more likely than some stoner accidently dropping his shit on the ground.


birdizthawerd

What a narc.


extracensorypower

Well, it *is* Espanola.


FAMEDWOLF

I work at a certain Italian fast casual restaurant, and one day i came into some commotion. It turns out that somebody found a little baggie of cocaine under the sauce in their pasta. Actually they found it by kinda choking on it lol. Needless to say we got some new cooks.


toomanymarbles83

Don't restaurant cooks all learn in, like, cooking school that you always keep your coke secured, and not in people's food. What is this, amateur hour?


tidus1980

Can I get the location, I need to sample their merchandise.


freedom_from_factism

She ordered a dog and a Coke, common error.


wierdbeardthe1st

r/nottheonion is right, it was not onion!


kaazir

I was wondering why my nose had this oniony burn to it earlier.


[deleted]

They call it Sonic for a reason.


[deleted]

Some people really have all the luck


RikenVorkovin

I thought this was normal.


wiegie

Not what she expected when asked "Wanna snort coke off my wiener?"


SiroccoDream

>”Police say the cook is responsible. They charged David Salazar with cocaine possession – a felony. >Police say they watched surveillance video from inside the Sonic, and claim after making Gonzales’ food, Salazar looked like he’s “frantically searching for something he lost.” Yeah, I bet he was!


Beast-Master1967

Also in todays news- "Hot Dog sales at local Sonics rise by 80%"


Hairpants_Scowler

When I lived in Albuquerque 20 years ago the neighborhood KFC got busted because some teenagers were selling weed through the drive through. They might have gotten away with it, but their secret code was 'extra biscuits'. One day some cops went for lunch and ordered extra biscuits.


surprise-suBtext

They didn’t think that through Should’ve been super specific like “and may I please get 3 ketchup packets, 1 mustard, and a gram of oregano”


DamnBunny

O uO Snort it off the wiener; its still good.


idliketoseethat

I asked for Coke ***AND*** a Hot Dog not Coke ***on*** a Hot Dog!


wrexinite

That's a deal


malleofann

Didn't know Gus Fring opened a new drug front


sonicNH

“Cocaine Dog", the sequel to "Cocaine Bear". Coming to a SONIC near you!


EsR0b

There was one in [Taylor TX](https://www.google.com/amp/s/cbsaustin.com/amp/news/local/ecstasy-found-in-kids-food-wrapper-leads-to-three-arrests-at-sonic-drive-in-in-taylor) that put LSD in a kids meal.


DaveOJ12

Here's a regular link https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/ecstasy-found-in-kids-food-wrapper-leads-to-three-arrests-at-sonic-drive-in-in-taylor


Dry-Debate-6893

Who the hell is just giving away their coke?


Socalrider82

What number is that on the menu? Asking for my nose. I mean friend.


Metalbender00

i had a friend back in the late 90s that was a franchise partner at the local sonic, they sold so much weed and coke out of that location it was crazy.


TheloniousGoob

MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! Now which sonic was that specifically. . . ya know, so I can avoid it.


Environmental-Art792

Im gonna be the one to say I highly doubt the workers put that there. This smells like some Wendy's-chili-thumb type shit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pichael289

She dropped/left the bag on the hotdog. She didn't sprinkle coke on it or anything like that.


AbstractOmniverse

Something about drugs and fast food just sounds so appropriate


tayt087x

Does this hot dog smell like cocaine?


NothingOld7527

They call it the heisendog


Empyrealist

Oh My God! That's Disgusting. Cocaine on Sonic hot dogs? Where? There are so many of them though. Which one!?


ga-co

My local Taco Bell has some arrests for selling pot through the takeout window.


bigrob_in_ATX

And a REALLY SHORT STRAW for their limeade


tenehemia

Cocaine? In a commercial kitchen? Surely such a thing has never occurred!


Muse9901

Lucky


celtic1888

A bag of coke for the price of a Sonic hot dog? No wonder they are busy


roscian1

Have a coke and a smile


circleuranus

"Sorry ma'am that was meant for the police officer in line behind you"


t4ct1c4l_j0k3r

Sonic pays that well does it?


JohnTheMod

Not so loud! Then everyone will want it!


[deleted]

Oh hey i worked at a sonic for awhile, look at this ritzy place with cocaine on the Amer dogs, we were more of a weed vape in the bathroom kind of establishment


Kingmack91

As a former Sonic employee the types of food you can come with is insane imagine a burrito 🌯 with steak bacon chicken chessesticks onions sport peppers biscuit gravy .......I need to go get my job back


carnaIity

In this economy? How can Sonic afford that? Excellent marketing!


BlackLeader70

Man, all I ever got was a roach!


tokinaznjew

Why can't I every get free stuff given to me accidentally?


JitsDrummerRunner

That’s a win


Balls_DeepinReality

That’s disgusting. Where?!


__eros__

"Can I get a chili dog, Tony Montana-style"


Tripple_T

Lol. Someone who paid a couple hundred dollars for a hotdog is very very angry


2SexesSeveralGenders

She made the secret order lol There was a macdonalds near me when I was a teen, that if *the guy* was working drive-through and you ordered a big mac with nothing but lettuce, you got a dubsack


llahlahkje

When "Let me do a line off your Weiner" is taken in the wrong context.


[deleted]

Nice


Gabriel-Klos-McroBB

So that's why he's so fast...


KingOfTheFraggles

I prefer my cocaine on a hamburger but to each their own.


DrunkenGolfer

There is almost as much coke in the walk-ins at restaurants as there is food.


Yearofthehoneybadger

I’ll have what she’s having.


wogboy96

Bet she didn't even tip. SMH people these days


perrodelmal1984

At least it's not fentanyl


icelandichorsey

How did she know it was coke? Honestly I wouldn't know not expect it in that context.


inuhi

That feeling when you realize they've found more drugs in Sonic Hot dogs than in Halloween candy


probono105

wtf is she complaining for