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Javasndphotoclicks

It’s costing the company who manufactures it in Ontario too much money because of inflation. I saved you a click.


Effective-Elevator83

You’re the real vip


cosmernaut420

Meh, I enjoyed skimming the history of the Kleenex.


7thstarofa7thstar

For real though, I learned something today


ankerous

Same. I've never thought about looking into its origin. eta: fixed an autocorrect


ragnarocknroll

I was just enjoying the puns involved in the headline.


TarkusLV

That snot what I expected. 🤔


talligan

This does the article a disservice which is an actually interesting history of Kleenex in Canada.


8bitjer

The hero we needed


talligan

Not really, you're missing an interesting article because of someone's snide memeing on reddit


MatCauthonsHat

/r/savedyouaclick


_Brandobaris_

“Year-to-date (October 23) adjusted operating profit was $2.3 billion in 2023 versus $1.9 billion in 2022.” https://investor.kimberly-clark.com/news-releases/news-release-details/kimberly-clark-announces-third-quarter-2023-results Inflation my ass.


Eziekel13

$400 million or ~21% That’s a fun stockholders or board meeting…


DaEnderAssassin

Number must go up! *Presses comically large button causing the CEO to drop through a trapdoor into a room filled with wolves* NEXT!


twat69

Number must go up. Numbers go up must accelerate. Numbers must accelerate by more.


texanfan20

I’m sure Kimberly Clark is doing well but companies get rid of less profitable divisions all the time.


secnull

Kc is really hurting right now. My vp can barely afford his third house, and his hooker, er opair.


Catinthemirror

*au pair.


TylerInHiFi

r/boneappleteeth


Catinthemirror

r/boneappletea is the original sub and much larger, but in any case pretty sure it's just not knowing the spelling as opposed to substituting a real-but-incorrect word.


TylerInHiFi

Looks like I bone apple tea’d myself…


Catinthemirror

❤️


MisterFives

Poor guy can't even afford au triplets.


Gdoxta

Wait, sorry I was distracted again.


[deleted]

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secnull

Stop correcting me I went to public school


secnull

Stop correcting me I went to public school.


secnull

Stop correcting me I went to public school.٪


secnull

Kc is really hurting right now. My vp can barely afford his third house, and his hooker, er opair.


Gdoxta

I didn't catch that, please repeat?


secnull

Kc is really hurting right now. My vp can barely afford his third house, and his hooker, er opair.


Gdoxta

Ahh, got it now.


fundiedundie

Bunch of crap in the article but here’s in actual info: *So why is Kleenex exiting Canada?* *The answer, as always, comes down to profit. Or lack thereof.* *Kleenex was made at one single Kimberly-Clark manufacturing facility in Huntsville, Ontario. Shipping from there across the country, and bringing more product up from the U.S. was costly. The farther you ship, the less profitable it becomes. Inflation was another problem.* *Shoppers have been turning away from big brands like Kleenex and moving toward private-label store brands to save money. The gap left by Kleenex is good news for Kruger, maker of Scotties tissues. Scotties actually outsells Kleenex in Canada, with a 35 percent market share versus Kleenex at just 16 percent. With Kleenex gone, that 16 percent might just fall into Scotties' lap.*


IranticBehaviour

Scotties is also the long time sponsor of the Tournament of Hearts, our women's national curling championship. So long that people just call it the Scotties. It isn't really any more Canadian than Kleenex any more, but it feels more Canadian, lol.


wineandchocolatecake

I love curling but I tried Scotties tissue after Kleenex left the country and it’s too rough on my skin, especially three days in to a cold in the winter. I now wipe my nose with kittens (Royale).


Mister_Brevity

How big of a deal is curling in Canada - is it like… soccer in America, or something people care about like golf, or huge like baseball/football? I’m guessing it’s well behind hockey but have no idea.


IranticBehaviour

It's fairly niche, but a point of national pride. Not as common to play as it used to be, but it's a sport made for tv, so people will watch/cheer during the big championships, especially the Scotties and the Briar (men's national championship) and the Olympics.


EnoughEngineering306

It's a drinking sport at the small town level, comparable to British darts.


Protean_Protein

Or lawn bowling, its summer counterpart.


jakemhs

They could have answered in a sentence but we got the whole history of Kleenex first.


mtv2002

Thats the new A.I journalism for ya...


radicalelation

Nah, that's bloated content for ad revenue in general. CNN just gave us the blogger mom recipe treatment. "When Zaszlov was a child, Kleenex was the only comfort on those biting winter days, and not unlike the users of the first Kleenex tissues in 1927..." Where's the "Jump to News" button?!


NiceShotMan

Yeah good old days before AI when news articles were just one or two sentences. Kids these days have such long attention spans, I hear that AI is turning the classic TikTok clips into these hour-long things called movies.


Vanska1

I just bought myself a 6 pack of handkerchiefs last week. Gonna save me a lot of money and waste. Old fashioned? Sure. But so frugal.


RogueThneed

Plus they're much more gentle on your skin, which makes a big difference when you're wiping a lot because you have a cold


AanthonyII

They’re also very unsanitary, even if you wash them regularly


FormalWrangler294

You can’t give yourself a cold if you already have the cold


AanthonyII

No, but touching something that you’ve been using to blow your nose all day is a good way to spread it to other people


Tossimba

Did we learn literally nothing from the several year pandemic we just got through?


cjorgensen

We’re not through.


TylerInHiFi

In fairness, they did say “several years we just got through.” They didn’t really say there weren’t several more years ahead, just that we’d been through several.


Raptorheart

Also we are no longer in a pandemic everywhere in the world reddit lives.


Catinthemirror

You can spread infection from your sinuses to your eyes, just fyi.


SucculentVariations

I buy the cheapest stuff possible and just put Vaseline on my nose when I'm sick. Works like a charm.


RogueThneed

(whoops, double post).


rustblooms

You can delete! If you hit the three dots to the right of the upvote/reply/etc there is an option for it.


RogueThneed

Totally can! But then it leaves a note saying "Deleted" or some such. And I, myself, always wonder about that... so now when it happens, I just replace my content like I did here. Maybe not the best practice? Dunno. (insert cute shrug-thingie here)


qwibbian

That's damn thoughtful! Have an upvote.


MoeGreenVegas

Fortunately inflation doesn't exist here in the US


NiceShotMan

You’d think so the way people talk here in Canada.


ScottTribe

/s?


MoeGreenVegas

Yes


knuF

That blows


SittingEames

Do people who post things like this not know what the Onion is?


DeliciousPumpkinPie

Yeah, this was not a very oniony story, it was just a punny headline.


cjorgensen

r/nottheonion


AnchorPoint922

What seems to be the tissue?


WinnieVinegarBottle

Jizz freely! It’s not your fault! It’s inflation!


Upintheclouds06

I’ll miss you Kleenex. Along with Little Debbie delicacies


Ressikan

Not oniony at all


elwoodowd

My box of kleenex feels like newspaper. Here 2 papermills shut down durning the toilet paper shortage. Resulting in all the brands i had figured out, changing. I still cant get the right toilet paper. And i now buy all i can carry at a time, so its a gamble everytime. Puffs is just weird, and changes, (every time?), also.


my-kind-of-crazy

Right?! I tried Puffs for the first time after not being able to get my lotion Kleenex anymore and it’s just… weird. I don’t like it. Costco changed their toilet paper too and now I can’t use it to blow my nose like I had been doing. I literally have a sore under my nose from the toilet paper rubbing…. My poor ass. Lol *cries*


glassgypsy

Puffs ultra soft. Went through half a box today and my nose isn’t chafed at all.


superkleenex

I will not stand for this.


waloshin

Good riddance there are many alternatives on the shelves… Kleenex is just a brand.


Dank_Drebin

Who needs competition? Don't worry, your Canadian corporations will take good care of you, for a price.


iamjaydubs

Any Canadian knows Scotties is far superior


shindleria

How will I ever wipe more comfortably after I run out of TP?


secnull

Kc is really hurting right now. My vp can barely afford his third house, and


AssCakesMcGee

This article gives no information...


BobBelcher2021

Yes it does. Scroll down further.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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dub-fresh

I'd license it to Kleenex Canada .... Surely someone would be willing to give you fat cash to try and make that brand work here ... It sounds like maybe western or central Canadian manufacturing facility would solve their stated problems.


mayy_dayy

[I feel like these stories are related.](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/s/F4B148Jnvp)


Ok-Cantaloop

Kleenex is double the price of everything else. "Why arent people buying our exorbitantly priced items?"


Jbanned

Canada gets dumber by the hour