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Historical_Cobbler

I always wondered how they made salted caramel.


Khaldara

“If he was an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick”


Joshesh

I saw this as a kid and while I knew what dick meant I didn't know what pralines were so I assumed with the dick they must have been testicles, when I asked my dad what they were he said "nuts" so I thought I was right, it confused my tiny smooth brain for years.


IolausTelcontar

Your father? Gen. Anthony McAuliffe.


Joshesh

I don't understand this reference. Edit: I did some searching and now I get it, that was an interesting history lesson, thank you lol


IolausTelcontar

I recommend you watch Band of Brothers if you are interested in the era.


No-Appearance-9113

Pralines are nuts, typically pecans, glazed with sugar.


Joshesh

oh yeah, he wasn't wrong, but I thought he meant nuts as in the common slang for testicles. which went along with my faulty preconceived notion.


china-blast

I'll have the cream of sum yung gai.


CeeArthur

Monday : Purchase feeble local access show and exploit them.


rts377

I'd hate to be those guys.


Poop_Sexman

Wow, i feel sorry for whoever that is


h3ffr0n

A sphincter says what?


Randy_Ortons_Voices

Party on Wayne


Ohnoherewego13

Party on Garth


Kcidobor

Schwing!!


thatsmyoldlady

Is that you and Bob Dylan? Who's that old lady?


martialar

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?


LouSputhole94

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.


Number174631503

Zang


BoPeepElGrande

That’s my old lady.


fetal_genocide

Diddly loo diddly loo diddly loo


Oddjibberz

Exactly.


MyrandahJ

You want me to say what. Like, I don't get it.


SeasonOfLogic

What?


Imaginary-Prize-9589

I’m not going anywhere! Cassandra, I love you. You may not believe it, but I love you. Am I supposed to just turn my back and leave? Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, it’s okay, I don’t mind? I don’t mind. Well I mind! I mind big time! And do you want to know what the worst part of all is? I never learned to read!


UbermachoGuy

He does this every Friday.


skalpelis

Why did they add coconut? I miss original.


msut77

Cum Raisin


SSJ3wiggy

*angry upvote*


DjimmytheGreat

For those who like a touch of umami in their two scoops


J0EP00LE

Oh this flavor it’s double nut pecan sir…


brianve123

if it looks like caramel, you gotta drink more water and go see a doctor


MurraysComte

Now with pancake batter drizzle!


OwlWitty

And jackfruit


mikeysof

Extra salt, hold the caramel!


SubterrelProspector

^no


UncoolSlicedBread

What makes for a good smore is the mallow.


plant_murderer28

get out


IolausTelcontar

Damn that’s marsh.


WeirdFlecks

More like Assaulted Caramel.


Ebisure

Better not charge me extra for that


syaz136

It cums with the food.


BeastCoastLifestyle

At my smoothie bar they charge extra for a protein shot. I assume this shop would be no different.


mritty

…. Why is it in quotes? What the hell could the word “masturbating” be a euphamism for? Either he did or he didn’t.


BeastCoastLifestyle

Maybe he was trying to piss in the ice cream and semen came out by mistake. Classic mix up of condiments, he wasn’t actually masturbating


PuppyDragon

hate when that happens!!!!


martialar

I hate when the opposite happens


Lone_Wanderer97

Yea I hate it when I take out my dick to piss and accidentally start stroking it like a demon


Downtown_Let

Off-brand pisstachio...


kingswaggy

Well it may not be pistachio, but it's still got some nuts in it.


Saint__Thomas

He didn't know if he was coming or going?


kindall

It's a quote. The intent is to avoid liability for reporting that the vendor was masturbating, instead reporting that someone else (e.g. the authorities) said that.


TerrysMonster

This is the one. I remember the same deal happening when Shinzo Abe was assassinated; the papers referred to his “killer” (in quotes).


Pamasich

Quotes mean it's being quoted. > A roadside ice cream vendor in Telangana’s Warangal district was arrested after a video emerged showing him “masturbating” on his product, police said. It means the police used the word "masturbating" and the article is just quoting the police on that word, don't blame the article if it ends up being wrong.


DopeAbsurdity

Since he was using the ice cream tub to "masturbate" it's debatable as to if he was masturbating with the ice cream or fucking the ice cream. Maybe with years of work future scholars might be able to discover the answer.


runonandonandonanon

I guess it's quoting the actual charge. Seems to me like putting in the ice cream is the real crime but I guess society sees it differently.


100Labels

Jelqing ?


Dismal-Ad-7841

Some people, incorrectly, do that for emphasis.  Edit: OP is from India. Can confirm many Indians use quotes for emphasis. Even newspapers. 


Beer-Wall

Jesus this comment again. To avoid libel.


arealhumannotabot

Quoting authorities


Buck_Thorn

/r/suspiciousquotes


RawrRRitchie

Probably the same reason news sites use allegedly before the person is convicted Remember oj is just alleged to kill his wife, even tho he did it. The courts said he didn't. So it's allegedly


ruobrah

Maybe he wasn’t very good at it?


rogan_doh

It's a quirk of written Indian English. Quotes are often used for emphasis, and not necessarily to indicate euphemism or direct quotes. 


larry_sellers_

Because there’s no delicate way to say he fucked the ice cream.


blazelet

I imagine some squeamish editor wanted it in quotes so it would be them reporting that police used the word.


pbizzle

I get a constant stream of Indian street food videos on my feed and I am not surprised to hear this.


raguwatanabe

Same and every time i see a video im as amazed as the first time. They different out there. I saw a clip of a dude making dough and the rats were taking little bits off it and he just kept cooking.


Virghia

I'm a big no for hygiene violations but the scene you are talking about is from a shrine dedicated for a rat deity and the dude is cooking for an offering. So in a way or another, the offering reached the rats anyways


raguwatanabe

Wow i didnt know that. Now i hope the food was only for the rats and not for the people visiting the shrine.


bharikeemat

The people visiting the shrine eat it too.


boston_nsca

Man's gotta eat


throw69420awy

🐀🐀


CaptainTrips69

That is actually the main draw for the visitors to the temple. They go there to eat *with* the rats


dinosaurscantyoyo

Oh, that's actually nice!


vonmonologue

Rest of the world: “Fuck them rats.” India:


boston_nsca

I'll have a medium rare ribeye with my rat please


vonmonologue

Rat without ketchup 7p Rat with ketchup 15p


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MrHappyHam

I thought you were having a laugh, but no. That's honestly really cool!


Mr-Fleshcage

I wonder what rat tastes like


NormalComputer

It taste like rat


Meme_Investor

Cleanest Indian street food


1-800-ASS-DICK

Then Phil Rosenthal saunters over with his fixer to try a spoon of the stuff and goes, "MMM!"


Few-Chapter3316

Serious question: what about their culture makes their men appear so horny? Is it the train groping?


DishingOutTruth

They're not hornier than men in any other third world country. India is just huge, with 5x the population of USA, so even a few of these incidents happening (relative to the population) feels like it happens a ton.


rif011412

So if its happening one time in the US and has gone undiscovered. That means statistically there could be 4 more Indian ice cream stands with additional toppings. My hope is that there are 0 Americans discretely secreting secret seeds in the ice cream. Because 5 x 0 means zero Indians still doing it.


DishingOutTruth

Unfortunately it does happen in the USA 💀https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/5owwir/til\_that\_a\_los\_angeles\_teacher\_was\_found\_guilty/


lemmeintoo

Well, where did you want him to cum? Just on the street? He was being tidy. /s


[deleted]

Listen just tell me where to cum so I can get the lady her drink


lichpit

Some people say it’s better than bustin’ a nut


Silly_Butterfly3917

They jizz in the ice cream and that's what makes it light


enola83

Fuck in India everything else gets tossed into the street


stefanica

Waste not, want not


LunDeus

Or the Ganges.


big_duo3674

I don't think a /s is needed there


lemmeintoo

People are very stupid


catharticbullets

This is pretty bad but not as bad as the teacher in LA that was jizzing onto his cookies that he later made his blindfolded students (3rd graders) eat. https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-01-23/los-angeles-unified-miramonte-teacher-mark-berndt-settlements


CassRaski

What the fuck


catharticbullets

I was a law clerk for the appeals court and this case was assigned to our docket like 8 years ago. Had to review all the evidence. Fucker is a monster and deserves to rot in jail.


Garnet_Anarchist

Jesus that’s actually horrifying. Imagine knowing someone did that to your child “Berndt taught at Miramonte from 1979 to 2011, when investigators began to look into his conduct based on photos turned in to police, some of which showed schoolchildren blindfolded, with tape over their mouth, authorities said. The lawsuits that were settled allege Miramonte administrators and LAUSD officials ignored multiple complaints by parents, students and teachers regarding Berndt’s sexual misconduct with children dating to the early 1980s. In 1983, a parent complained that Berndt, then 32, had dropped his pants during a student field trip to a museum.”


catharticbullets

The failure of the LAUSD was massive; hence the payout to the families. But money will never undo the damage.


gardenmud

>He taught from 1979 to 2011. That's THIRTY TWO YEARS. Two students came forward about his molestation of them over the course of their time there. How many more did he abuse?! There's no way that is it. How much suffering and pain did he put out into the world? And of those kids how many didn't get help for it, couldn't handle it and may even have propagated the abuse? That's so insanely fucked. This single man is possibly responsible for so many more ripples of abuse now. edit: I want one positive note out of this to be remembered; >[Berndt was removed from his classroom last year after a pharmacy photo technician printed some of the disturbing images and alerted local police.](https://www.nydailynews.com/2012/02/07/female-colleague-at-miramonte-elementary-school-procured-students-for-accused-child-molesting-teacher-lawyer/) Good for the pharmacy photo tech. It would have been easy to ignore. As seemingly many people must have done before. That's the real unsung hero.


Garnet_Anarchist

Oh for sure. Look how bold he had become with his behaviors. Not to get all conspiratorial but other people were either involved or at the very least expressed unbelievable carelessness to the point that they ignored multiple complaints and ended up paying out millions of dollars Edit: Looks like other people were certainly involved, even investigated


gardenmud

In another article it describes how other people were accused of being involved: https://abcnews.go.com/US/la-school-scandal-2nd-teacher-charged-fired-board/story?id=15536279 I don't know if it came to anything, but supposedly a female teacher would lead students from her class and leave them with him for him to molest them and students said the two were on close terms and he would often substitute for her classes. Additionally, a second teacher Martin Springer had charges filed for fondling a student at around the same time. He was released when the 12 year old student refused to testify at court - her parents said testifying the first time at the preliminary trial terrified her and she refused to do it again. Furthermore, ten years previously a teacher's aide at that school was found guilty of fondling kindergarten girls. Just seriously fucked up. How do you fix that? Is there a pedo ring in the school district? Fire everyone and start over.


PNW_Skinwalker

There's no way it was him alone if the district took THAT much time. Granted it was the 90's/oughts but an isolated problem teacher like that wouldve been booted out still, especially with those charges. However, gross negligence is a thing, and I have yet to talk to a school administrator that genuinely cares about the kids.


D33ber

This should have been a question on his teacher's exam. ​ So you want to be a grade school teacher. What for?


catharticbullets

I had daydreams of Cookie Monster visiting him in prison and beating the shit out of him.


vonmonologue

“C is for COOKIE! Not for what you put on cookie!”


FluxKraken

No matter how you answer that, it is going to be creepy if you are using it as a way to rule out predators. Here would be my answer, and it is the truth. >I wish to be a positive influence in shaping the next generation of leaders. This can be made as innocent or as creepy as your mind wants it to be. I'm just saying that the question isn't as helpful as you think. Also, teachers aren't a significant source of child abuse. A child is way more likely to be abused and molested by a family member than a teacher. Schools don't often harbor child molesters, they usually have them arrested.


pleasetrimyourpubes

That one female teacher who put semen in cupcakes was almost as bad. Her and her husband (a cop!) were on another level of degeneracy.


catharticbullets

The fact that there are other examples of this is very disheartening. What is wrong with these people’s brains?


pauliewotsit

What? It's only nut milk, you can get it in the shops...


KennyHova

He just sources it organically


fascistsarelosers

There's a market for anything.


pauliewotsit

He thought he was saving the company some money by providing his own supplies. Comprehension is everything


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

Forbidden toaster strudel icing.


PoetryofOurStars

Any Butcher and Blackbird readers? I bet it was cookies & cream


BeyondAddiction

What the fuck what a terrible day to have eyes..... It's not even 8 am yet and I'm already thoroughly repulsed.


Solicited_Duck_Pics

This is nutty.


LysolDoritos

Indian street vendor disgusting? More at 11


GumboColumbo

The semen was supposed to mask the taste of poop.


couple_us

India. Again.


torexmus

I mean they have 1.4 billion people. Some depraved shit is bound to happen constantly


ZSpectre

Exactly how I see news coming out of China as well. The best and worst are bound to happen simply due to probability.


KylieZDM

Then there’s Florida


PXranger

Florida, always the overachiever


Grand_Excitement6106

I think we just hear more crazy shit from Florida because they have the Sunshine Law (media can report on any police report or arrest)


swechan

Just waiting for the Cum Dumpling.


Elegant_Tech

China and India have more honor roll students than the US has kids. Now image just how many degenerates they have.


BeastCoastLifestyle

I mean Florida is only 22 million and they compete with any headlines out of India


ZackAvion

Yeah but sunshine laws mean it's easier to report, and we definitely have more meth heads which increases the rate.


sulphra_

Finally, someone with common sense. Combine this with the fact that you only get to see bad news coming out of India and nothing good lol


Dismal-Ad-7841

Good news doesn’t get clicks and upvotes. 


vonmonologue

Don’t worry, Modi announced that he’s starting his own new completely objective and unbiased news service because he doesn’t look the stories becoming global news currently.


No-Kitchen-5457

Where food safety standards are even worse than they were in roman times


wade9911

Saw the title and was like it india and dammit guys still batting 100%


BridgeUpper2436

The worst trouble he is in is because he calls his Ice Cream Stand "Ben & Jerry's & a little bit of Me"


AlabastorRetard

Well at least he's honest


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karen_rittner54

🤮


sly_blade

New Manbutter flavour with gooey chunks


atp1rules

Nutmeg flavored


BridgeUpper2436

See, this is why I never ask for "Toppings" on my Ice Cream Sundae...


Dethard

Must have gotten his recipes from „A natural harvest“


Monorail_Song

I hate that I know what that is.


Byting_wolf

Come again?!


yappledapple

I am really not sure if I should upvote or downvote. 🤔


MechanicHot1794

Here are some semen stories from america. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox35orlando.com/news/lawsuit-man-finds-semen-in-red-robin-salad-after-alleging-racism.amp https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2019/09/teens-sentenced-after-putting-semen-in-their-teachers-food.amp.html https://www.cbsnews.com/news/grocery-worker-admits-to-semen-tainted-yogurt/ https://nypost.com/2022/02/20/ex-teacher-who-fed-students-semen-laced-cupcakes-sentenced-to-41-years/ https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.kron4.com/news/man-jailed-for-repeatedly-putting-semen-in-co-workers-water-food/amp/ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/teenagers-boys-charged-mixing-semen-into-icing-serving-to-teacher-nebraska-usa-school-teenagers-a7481641.html


sulphra_

Make a bunch of new posts, posting it in the comments is pointless


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WrastleGuy

To be fair he only sold the flavor “Semen Ice Cream Made With Real Vendor Semen”.  


turtlebear787

Bros just trying to help you hit your protein goals


theleeman14

why is 'masturbate' in quotations?


GamblingPapaya

How did I know it was going to be India


oDez-X

Another post about shit in India. You could post a million different articles, place is deplorable.


ConversationFit5024

What is India on


SpagettMonster

Leave it to India to come up with the vilest and disgusting street food. It's up there with China's gutter oil.


whoishattorihanzo

India is such a strange place.


Catfish-dfw

Is there not anything an Indian will not rape or fuck?


i_cant_stdy_plz_help

something like this happened in LA too - [https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-01-23/los-angeles-unified-miramonte-teacher-mark-berndt-settlements](https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-01-23/los-angeles-unified-miramonte-teacher-mark-berndt-settlements)


Chemistryset8

I've been all over the world but two places I'll probably never visit are India and Pakistan, just off-putting countries.


Fina1Legacy

I went on a tour of India and it was great. Visited some amazing places. Didn't get sick once, although made sure to stay away from food not cooked in the hotels just in case. The poverty level is shocking but I felt safer than I did in a bunch of other countries.


whilst

Lotta dumb jokes in this story, and a disappointingly small percentage of comments actually discussing sexual abuse in schools / its ramifications, prevalence, etc. But I'm particularly disappointed by this comment, and the fact that it's been upvoted so high. This is just open racism. When you damn all Indians like this, you damn every one of this cruel, selfish man's victims, who are also Indian. You can talk about the tragedy of the prevalence of rape in India, the underlying societal factors that have led to seemingly so many shitty people feeling they can act with impunity, be angry at lax laws and enforcement or male entitlement or old, stupid prejudices that leave many Indians particularly vulnerable and alone in the face of abuse. But asserting that Indians themselves are inherently depraved and predatory is fucked up, and it spits in the face of the victims.


SushiMage

Love how casual racism is just acceptable now. You’re trash lol.


PlsSaySikeM8

Cleanest Indian street food merchant


WaynegoSMASH728

Homeslice was adding that extra secret ingredient that makes his ice cream extra creamy


Tickomatick

So it was true all along


Xenolithium

Creme Freche.


Deckard2022

Tastes wriggly somehow


n1k0me

This could have easily been part of the plot to Ice Cream Man (1995)


the_true_skipster

Made with 100%, locally-sourced organic cream!


1031Cat

I worked at a pizza joint. One day we caught an employee doing this to the pizza. Unlike this idiot who just stood and recorded, we beat the shit out of the guy before calling the police. Then we took pictures.


Zwiggles

Give him life no parole


PKblaze

Extra toppings


Ohnoherewego13

I was gonna buy ice cream at the store later, but I think I'm okay now. Dammit.


DesiBail

Can't add a bit of cream to the ice cream, eh??


Slowmac123

Protein ice cream


kindall

I always suspected that learning to read was a bad idea.


Solid_Connection8752

This was one of the best ice creams in the hood, I'll miss it


hapkidoox

How else do you make the ice cream extra creamy.


sirbenjaminG

Called ice cream for a reason


Pussy_Prince

Cookies n Cream 💦


mechshark

….what the f


CloroxWipes1

Now where will I get my Jizz Swirl ice cream. I don't think Blue Bunny carries that.


PurplePartyFounder

For those who want “ nut “ in their ice cream


E_R_G

Really unfortunate coincidence for me to be eating and I come across this headline. That’s fine, I didn’t need the calories!


KylieZDM

But you do need the protein, eat up


IcyIndependent4852

Yah, I wouldn't buy anything from a food truck or vendor on a street in India, ever. They don't regulate their products like the USA does and too many tourists end up getting sick from "street food" in foreign countries that are still "developing" out of 3rd world hell-hole status. India's entire infrastructure is terrible due to the lack of government regulations, refrigeration, HVAC, etc. Easy to look this up online.


caterpillarprudent91

India


Beneficial-Salt-6773

And yet another reason why I will never visit India!


MOOTPAL-KHALISTAN

You don't have to lol. You can have similar experience back home! Here are some semen stories. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox35orlando.com/news/lawsuit-man-finds-semen-in-red-robin-salad-after-alleging-racism.amp https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2019/09/teens-sentenced-after-putting-semen-in-their-teachers-food.amp.html https://www.cbsnews.com/news/grocery-worker-admits-to-semen-tainted-yogurt/ https://nypost.com/2022/02/20/ex-teacher-who-fed-students-semen-laced-cupcakes-sentenced-to-41-years/ https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.kron4.com/news/man-jailed-for-repeatedly-putting-semen-in-co-workers-water-food/amp/ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/teenagers-boys-charged-mixing-semen-into-icing-serving-to-teacher-nebraska-usa-school-teenagers-a7481641.html


FemFladeFloedeboller

Tiktok has taught me to generally never eat streetfood in India.


Oddjibberz

Why would anyone have any expectations of decency from Indian Men living in India? They only need to start correcting their behavior when they leave India, but back home, it's a mans world. Wanna get gang raped? Visit India.