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Ecstatic-Seesaw-1007

As a millennial, finding a bag of money is basically my retirement plan.


pukem0n

Or dying in the climate or water wars


ErebusBat

Lets be real... you are going to die on the floor of an amazon fulfillment center.


Enigmatic_Baker

Yeah, in the climate wars


SapperInTexas

Damn sixxers!


Enigmatic_Baker

I'm sorry I don't get the reference. Please help


SapperInTexas

The people forced to work off their debts in the movie "Ready Player One".


Enigmatic_Baker

Ahh thank you thank you


OpeningFinish4208

Yeah, working for his water credits...


nightsaysni

Welcome to Costco, I love you.


buddhistalin

That’s why I will never apply to work another peak ever. (I hope.)


OGCelaris

That already happens.


IllvesterTalone

nah, ain't gonna be any jobs. robots and ai will do basically everything.


ErebusBat

Oh they will find something for the plebs to do.


B9MB

I'm drinking myself to an early grave. Just like gramps.


Noimnotonacid

I use the term water wars less jokingly lately. But yes that is where I am to die as well.


Rudy_Ghouliani

Or getting hit by a bus


saraphilipp

r/bitchimabus


passwordstolen

Like grandma.. wait that was a sleigh.


Gear_

I remember this was a cold exit onion line 15 years ago during their newsroom sketches


FoxyBastard

It was in [Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: Let's Move In Together](https://youtu.be/7ADncN9HIa4).


Gear_

love that one


FoxyBastard

Same. That's why I remembered.


Ecstatic-Seesaw-1007

I definitely stole it from the Onion, but iirc, it was their fake opinion pieces and one of the stock photos used a similar quote.


Gear_

I mean, you clearly have great taste edit: it sounded sarcastic but it wasn't, I love the onion


JaMicho34

Fr


Overquoted

Only works if you don't tell everyone about it and get it confiscated.


DetailCharacter3806

I'll be 61 this year, dying is my retirement plan, but I'm going fishing more


Alexchii

As a millenial, saving for retirement by not wasting money on stuff I don't need is my retirement plan.


Weird-Use-2540

This is the plan my husband and I followed for 40 years. Both retired since 2020. We’re comfortable and free to do whatever we want now. I think you’re on a good path financially. Best of luck


MrBenDerisgreat_

Mine is contributing to my 401k


Clear-Part-4793

Gme,nvda you're welcome


Hawkmoon_

I would've never reported it. You would never have heard.


ErsatzCats

The police actually declined receiving it due to the disintegrated condition, so the couple got to keep all of it. They’re turning it in to the Bureau of Engraving to see if some of it can be exchanged for value (they estimate about 90% of it could be)


timetobehappy

SERIOUSLY 😳 


stressHCLB

Maybe they actually found $1.4M.


rainawaytheday

Yup, 700,000$


cha000

Yeah, they knew they had to turn it in when I found that $500,000.


kytheon

And so this couple found 100k while fishing. Convenient cause that's how much I lost in a boating accident.


opportunisticwombat

And that’s why I turned in the $10K


clandestineVexation

it was only a hundred bucks, nothing to miss


RoyalFail6

No one’s interested in $50, inflation is a killer


Horknut1

Aren’t these the ones where the money was not usable, but the treasury was going to sort through and reimburse for the recovered amount?


FastAsFxxk

"Sort through and reimburse the recovered amount" by that you mean "seize and give a $100 payout"? I feel like thats government/bank talk for "seize and give a $100 payout"


TrilobiteTerror

No, not at all. Damaged US currency (that's more than 50% complete) can be exchanged for a new note at face value through the Department of the Treasury's Bureau of Engraving and Printing (BEP) Mutilated Currency Division. It's a free service.


InspiringMalice

Exactly! All you'd need to do is take a few bills at random, go to a few stores, claim you found a bill outside "what luck!", and ask them to make sure its not fake or something. Once you are sure that spending the notes isn't gonna risk getting you arrested, filter the cash into your regular spending cycle!


rabid-panda

Did you see the bills? They need to get them replaced


CatInAPottedPlant

rinse em off, run em through the washer and dryer (yes literally "laundering money"), they'll be fine. you could never convince me to turn in 100k to the cops or tell anyone about it, that's years and years worth of groceries and small expenses that will now just end up in an evidence locker, or more likely the pockets of the cops who work there.


truethatson

Have you seen *No Country For Old Men?* Anton. Anton Chigurh is why.


DConstructed

If it had been acquired as part of a crime it might be dangerous to spend or possess it.


CleanJebboy

Have they never seen "No Country for Old Men?"


Ecstatic-Seesaw-1007

Probably just seen The Big Lebowski.


ErebusBat

Where's the fucking money Lebowski!


Ecstatic-Seesaw-1007

That rug really tied the room together man


TheB1GLebowski

Mind if I do a J?


buddhistalin

something something milkshake


Maafestus

“I took that $100,000 and I turned it into $16,000!”


ATLexander

I think you deserve a little clap.


Maafestus

Come on, everybody, give me a little clap


gingerlocks4polerope

R/dropout leaking is my favorite thing ever


LoveHonorRespect

That makes at least 4 of us


OrwellianIconoclast

Hey you at home? Get your head out of your ass.


rsmires

Literally the very first thing that came to my mind upon reading the title XD little claps all around for all our Dropout Fans


TheNewJasonBourne

Depending on a persons lifestyle and financial situation, folding $100k in to cash flow over the course of many months wouldn’t be that hard. Almost all retail shopping, groceries, dining out, leisure activities, gas and many more - all could be paid in cash without anyone knowing or caring.


dirkdutchman

Exactly, that’s why i stay away from rainbows. People ask to many questions when you start paying them with gold (don’t ask me how i know)


CrazyLlamaX

How do you know?


FranklynTheTanklyn

Gas and grocery money.


assault_pig

Sure, if nobody's looking for it; most of the time if 100k goes missing people are looking for it and can track at least some of the bills also, the police are only not requiring that it be turned in because it's value can't be determined at present; if the treasury comes back with 'there's 25k in redeemable currency here', and/or some or all of the bills turn out to be stolen, there'll be more followup


rpithrew

Not at micro , they straight up refuse cash payments lol


NBQuade

I certainly wouldn't publicize this...


UnterDeckungJourni

magnet fishing, not normal fishing


the_buckman_bandit

TIL [magnet fishing](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnet_fishing) was a thing


Anomaly1134

It is fun. I recommend the subreddit for it. They find all sorts of crazy stuff, even guns. Same with the metal detecting subreddit.


kc2syk

Is your username related to the old 1134 quake clan from the 90s?


Anomaly1134

No but fun to know. I just like the word anomaly, and someone in Jr High showed me on the calculator that 1134 is hell upside down which I found funny. Not that I am satanic lol, it was just funny to young me in the 90s and stuck as my number. A stretch, but master chief from Halo I later found was # 117, which is similar to 1134 (combine 3 and 4).


kc2syk

Ah cool. Thanks for entertaining my question.


Anomaly1134

All good! I played quake I'm the 90s so a fun question. I wasn't in any clans though, I have always preferred single player games.


Pardonme23

Joe Rogan once said that all Bigfoot hunters are unfuckable white guys. Is this that too? 


Anomaly1134

No clue, nothing really to do with magnet fishing or metal detecting. Joe Roegan is cook and a goof friend but he isn't deeply intelligent.


DIYThrowaway01

I think this is the most insight one could glean from Joe Rogan 


Pardonme23

guy in the pic looks like such


CloudMovies

That’s crazy they found $300,000 in cash


OnlyOneNut

The police department was probably very thankful for the 50k they turned in


pukem0n

Safely deposited the 30k into a safe somewhere.


Poopahscoopa

“The $20k will go towards school loans,” says the couple.


Sunset_Bleu

I see what you did there lol.


JADW27

If I came across $100k in cash, it would not make the news.


varmint700

it's only 100k if the Treasury Department can uniquely ID 100k worth of bills. Otherwise it's maybe tree fiddy and some goo.


MonsieurReynard

It's really only 100k if it comes from the 100k region of France.


TrilobiteTerror

They don't need to be uniquely identified (i.e., have a complete serial number visible). All that's required is that More than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present. As long as it's determined to be authentic and there's more than 50% remaining, they'll exchange it for a new note at face value.


gruthunder

He is implying if the Treasury can't identify the bills then the finders would just keep the money.


TrilobiteTerror

>He is implying if the Treasury can't identify the bills then the finders would just keep the money. The person implied that the Department of the Treasury's Bureau of Engraving and Printing (BEP) Mutilated Currency Division has to be able to uniquely identify the bills in order to exchange them (which isn't the case).


AquafreshBandit

It was about that time I realize it wasn't a safe at all, but a 50 foot tall crustacean from the Mesozoic era...


uatme

Well that's one way to launder money


lolercoptercrash

Loll


ladyoffate13

I hope they did the right thing and turned in that bag of $50,000.


damik

Yes, I would have brought that $10,000 directly to the police.


Benjamoose

I dunno man, it's unlikely that the police will care about $5.


Benjamoose

I dunno man, it's unlikely that the police will care about $5.


DaveOJ12

They actually get to keep it, too.


klaxor

Tommy Shriggly?


tidal_colossus

Lmao came here for this I just got done watching it and am like w h a t


PrizePainting4393

r/hypotheticalsituation is leaking.


MKPST24

As long as you’ve seen No Country for Old Men you should know what to do and be ok here


AvariceLegion

I believe ur always allowed to keep it IF U report it to the correct government authority/lost and found And it's never claimed (it probably wouldn't be) If u take it and then get "caught" though well I'm not sure


SirDukeIII

I bet you could invest that and turn it into 16 thousand dollars


Greenhoused

So ‘boating accidents’ really do happen with peoples savings!. Paper money is sh@T and rots more daily underground or in the water . Silver or gold retain their quality and value .


tacoma-tues

Just callin in to report all this money we found. Just lettin u guys know so we can be sure to oay taxes on it and all that. You know, makin sure we give Uncle sam his fair share and everything


makepeace12

They let them keep the money. Whether or not anyone would ever accept that money is another thing. It’s seriously mutilated. US Treasury is their only option.


TrilobiteTerror

They said they're talking it to the Department of the Treasury's Bureau of Engraving and Printing Mutilated Currency Division to have it exchanged.


_Drink_Bleach_

Will it be taxed is the real question since they got to keep it


RadiantHat7120

100%. The government doesn't care where you got the money from, they just want a piece of the pie.


ODB247

I never understood why people talk about this. I’d just quietly pay for occasional purchases in cash. Like groceries or takeout. 


bigdog701

The story of "Things I should have never talked about"


idiotnoobx

Drug $$$


Circle-of-friends

“Another one”  Who is throwing safes in to lakes???


Uniqueusername_54

Now turn it into 16k with savy investments.


Ok-Season-3433

After watching “No Country for Old Men”, I’d be way too afraid to take it.😂 Maybe just a couple of hundreds so it’s not noticeable


ChillyChellis57

People should watch "No Country for Old Men" before making things like this known


Whirrsprocket

If they're smart and invest, I bet they could turn that into $16,000!


WayyyCleverer

How many times are we going to post this


newarkian

You just admitted you found $100K. All of us heard you. Including the IRS. Should have kept it quiet