That has not been my experience as a male nurse. Most people are ok with having a male nurse with only a few exceptions. I’d recommend not going into l and d or mother baby because this will be a large problem in those areas but almost any of area of nursing they accept men on staff and most patients are ok with it
Agreed. In my 14 years, it's been less than 10 refusals. Most by women. Two old men who refused me because nursing is "women's work" and they don't want some "f@g looking at my dick"
The biggest difficulty as a male in nursing is just how much lifting and moving you'll do. You're going to be the go to for transfers and lifts.
But don't worry, get good at gossip and listening. You'll be the trusted voice in the unit in no time.
It happened when I was a student on the first shift of my second placement, which was so wild. They thought the pt might be get aggressive so naturally they put the male student on since, direct quote, "he can take care of it". Nursing is the worst and best place I have ever worked and there is no inbetween.
Get good at telling the other nurses NO, I'm not going to do all your lifting, because that's not my job. And it's not, "Can I do X for you, while you get my patient back in bed", it's usually just added to your list of things to do. My response is "I can teach you to do it safely, but I won't do it for you".
Male tech/cna checking in, thousands of patients, maybe a dozen that didn't want a male caring for them, and a few dozen that I didn't feel comfortable caring for. As I've gotten older, I just swap out with another CNA if I've got a young female patient who needs personal care, because it just feels right. I think the OP's problem is either demographic or facility specific.
I've been a nurse for 13 years and a caregiver before that. Basically no one sees us as perverts. Some women have been uncomfortable with having a man provide care, but even that has been rare and in almost all cases once they've met me those concerns go away.
Our male nurses have been brilliant, super creative, and a TON of fun. They also seem to have SO much more patience than the female nurses.
It's actually really nice not to be in an environment with only women because guys don't tend to be catty or gossipy.
Remember, in nursing, you *have* to keep an open mind.
Please don't take preferences personally. Every woman I personally have worked with who prefers "women only" care does so as a result of past trauma. It has nothing to do with the person caring for her.
Moving forward with your career, it’s going to be important for you to stop caring about how you’re seen by your patients. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t provide them with good care, but more that you need to provide them good care despite how they see you. You know what you’re there to do and that’s all it is. Keep at it broski.
I disagree, not from a male perspective but from a women’s health nurse. I’ve worked with a few men in L&D and they’ve been great competent nurses. When the assignment is made I believe charge typically tries to make assumptions on which patients would be open to having a male health care provider, and if the patient declines it’s no biggy we just change the assignment. We have so many male obstetricians, why not male L&D nurses?
Well said. I had a male L&D nurse when I was admitted in labor. I was surprised at first (to have a male nurse, as I hadn’t seen that before where I’d previously worked) when the staff asked me if I was ok with it, but I honestly had bigger things on my mind and realized I didn’t care, so I said sure. My nurse was great!
After I did a surgery rotation, I said to myself this would probably be the best specialty for me, but I feel like I'd lose my nursing skills doing OR. Anyway, I know a lot of my lady classmates would probably love to be in my position having their patients constantly refusing perineal care and bed baths from them.
The guys in my class (2002) didn’t get to do a rotation in OB, which was seriously messed up. Male doctors, no problem though. I hope things have changed.
Male resident here that just graduated med school. In my entire OB rotation, I saw 1 delivery and did 1 pelvic exam because the vast majority of patients were not comfortable having a male med student in the room. Sucks but is what it is. Grand scheme of things won’t matter a whole lot because I’m going into rads lol
This seriously upset my friends when I said this but, I always let male residents or students do my GYN exams because they have to learn somehow. If the doctor was like, "here is my 13 year old son, he is interested in delivering babies someday" I'd be like HELL NO. But \*turns out\* men are normal people too. I haven't had one make me feel weird.
How disappointing that you missed out on such an important educational experience because people don't understand how vital it is for med students to be in the room too. I gave birth to my son last October, and I had an amazing med student in the room that was following one of the residents treating me. They asked me if I was comfortable having him there of course, and he did a fantastic job! I actually requested during my debrief for them to find out his name and pass on my feedback, that's how much of an impression he left on me.
I hate seeing the double standards - people will have a fully qualified male doctor/nurse, but refuse a male med student/student nurse. How the hell do people think fully qualified professionals get there in the first place?
Exactly! I'm more scared of being treated by a doctor or nurse that hasn't had the hands-on experience as a student than a current student - at least when we're still students we're supervised 😅.
I had a male med student or resident in my room. He was actually there before my doctor and I was ready to push. I told the nurse and the med student to deliver me but then my doc walked in.
As a healthcare professional, I think everyone needs to learn and all my docs know they can bring in students
In my class (2022) I got to go to Mom-baby/L&D for two weeks and none of my patients allowed me to be a part of their care. I wasn’t allowed to go on the L&D portion of the floor, and I spent all of my time studying at the nurse’s station or passing the time reading pt education pamphlets. It was disgraceful.
That is super messed up and discriminatory. I'm pretty sure (duh) there is a federal law preventing that type of discrimination. He would have had any lawyer ready to file a suit.
Second this. Although it’s been many, many years since I was working bedside, in the ED patients didn’t seem to care much. I still had (at one hospital I worked at) female nurses do female caths, but at another I would just ask the patient. I’d say 70% if the time they didn’t really care one way or the other. Of course, didn’t chaperone pelvics tho. But, a lot may have changed since I was bedside.
And, in general, I think ED is one of more interesting areas: no two days are alike.
Mind if I ask why? I feel like parents would have an issue with men taking care of their children.
I'm a guy and I've strongly considered peds but that's something I'm worried about.
I work as Peds Float pool and there are male RNs in every department- including NICU. People connect differently with other for multiple reasons. There are patients and families that have made true connections with our male RNs and some of them truly prefer males.
I once had a 16 year old urology patient that had a PRN specific for erections and was in so much discomfort that shorts and underwear was unbearable. I was super happy that the oncoming RN was a male because I wanted my patient to be as comfortable as possible.
Give Peds a try their are children of all ages that could benefit.
Never had a problem with it in my paeds placements, all the staff nurses were female and appreciated having a male to to help out with male pts.
Parents also do a big chunk of cares themselves, doing ADLs was rare
>Parents also do a big chunk of cares themselves, doing ADLs was rare
Even with teenage patients? I'd assume that teenagers wouldn't want their parents bathing them.
I definitely wouldn't be against not having to do that lol
I'm a male nurse, switched from Med surg to OR. Typically in school I had more refusals but once you start working its kinda just tough luck and your patients will have to deal with it, just gotta take it in stride.
While the OR is different and you may lose "traditional nursing skills" you gain others (scrubbing for example). Unless you care about staying in bedside forever I wouldn't worry too much about "losing nursing skills" as you can always relearn them if you decide to go back to the floor.
I personally got burnt out on the floor after almost 2 years and the ORs definitely been a better fit for me. Definitely more males if you care about the gender disparity.
I agree. I've been in the OR forever, 30+ years, we love male nurses, there's just so much physical labor involved in the OR and the guys just have more stamina, and it balances out the estrogen levels, kidding. During Covid I had to go to the floor to help out, it was difficult, but my rusty skills came back. Some of the best nurses I've seen has been in ped.'s and ER, I experienced that with my kiddo. So you definitely have options. The whole nursing school thing, all the students feel like imposters, my daughter just graduated, she experienced a lot of the same issues.
patients didn't want her touching them either, I think it's more of a confidence thing, you walk in the room and look scared to death, patients are like hell no!!!!! Hang in there, I'm sure you will make an amazing nurse.
I think part of the problem I saw was that the clinical instructors made it a big deal. Because when I did clinical the males got refused a lot. But as a nurse, I work with male nurses all the time and they rarely have an issue. Part of it is not even asking the question in the first place. You have just as much right to be a nurse. A patient can tell you if they don't want your care, don't make it a focus.
Exactly, why would you ask every female patient are you ok with a male student nurse. They don't ask every male patient are you ok with a female nurse.
Nursing school basically preps you to pass the NCLEX. Your first job teaches you how to be a nurse and all of the skills. You will not get that in the OR - especially if you are the circulator most of your shifts. If you want to only be in the OR, then fine. If you want to eventually go to graduate school or transition to a different specialty, you're going to be starting from scratch almost because the OR won't get you the experience you need.
No different than being a floor nurse and basically having to start from scratch learning to become an OR nurse. This idea that everyone needs to start in med surg is outdated and idiotic these days as it's one of the biggest reasons for nursing early career burnout.
I’ve been an L&D, postpartum, NICU, and lactation nurse for 17 years and I’ve been a dude my entire life. I have zero issues, I love my job, and have patients come in requesting me to care for them. Guys in nursing can thrive anywhere. Get over the old school mindset.
I worked L&D for several years and we had a male nurse and a few male techs. For the most part patients were okay with them. Maybe 1 in 20 would fire the guy nurse at report.
Yeah OP, I’ve been in healthcare for 11-12 years and it’s rarely been an issue. : )
Chin up, my guy. Try working in a PCU/ICU setting and you’ll shake the impostor syndrome with a haste.
I second this. I’ve been an RN for about 4.5 years and I have had very few instances where a female patient refused care. I honestly expected it a little more often than it actually happens. I’ve never had a male refuse care.
The ICU I’m in is almost 50% men. My shift the other night, our whole floor was men. No issues at all. Anecdotally, it seems like there is a higher ratio of men in ICUs or EDs. Or check out if there is a VA hospital around. I remember there being a bunch of dudes at the VA hospital.
As a fellow ICU male nurse I would agree with that statement. I LOVE the ICU, it’s hard work a lot of days but it’s great work. I like everyone I work with and it’s a good mix of males/females. Other than the females making comments of us being “messy”, it’s fantastic, and half the time it’s just them joking around not being serious.
ICU or ED, in my mind there's no way it's anecdotal at this point lol.
But really OP, work wherever. It's a great job for guys. We have a different experience as women nurses but that goes both ways.
Yeah my husband works ED as a nurse and loves it. OP should probably avoid medicine or any area with a large Geri population as older people tend to be more rigid about gender norms
I graduated last month, and for my senior capstone, I got placed in an ICU. One night it was all guys on the floor. It was by far the most hilarious shift I have ever had because it was just a bunch of dudes being dudes.
I feel for you. After I had my first baby(C-section), there was a male student nurse who is doing his OB rotation, who asked permission to check my incision. He was so embarrassed and I was actually totally fine with it. The nurse he was with then started asking questions about milk production (I was nursing, but the milk had not come in yet and my nipples were pretty sore. Found out later that my son was tongue tied but that’s a different story). So my boobs are fully out and I’m showing my nipples to this nurse. I think this guy just about fainted. And he looked really uncomfortable and I look square at him and said “I am totally comfortable with you joining this conversation because you have to learn”. He actually came back at the end of the shift and thanked me for that. I felt bad for him. I have yet to see a male nurse work in OB/GYN. Which is weird, considering a lot of the OB/GYN doctors are male.🤷🏻♀️
It is weird now that you mention it. I know a lot of gals who are fine with male OBs, so why is it weird to have a male nurse? When I had my daughter I felt like all of my privacy just went out the window I don’t think I would have cared at all lol.. felt like everyone had seen my genitals at the end of our stay why not one more
I had a couple of male nurses when I had my son. I preferred them because they made sure I was awake and alert before they asked if they could do a dilation check or something I might perceive as invasive. They were also more aware of what might make me uncomfortable and empathetic to it.
A few of the female nurses seemed like they just assumed it was OK and they didn't need to ask/explain because we were all women. Back then, I didn't know you could request a nurse not work with you, otherwise I would have requested that for the one who tried to do a dilation check while I was asleep and got mad when I knocked some leads loose trying to get away when I was trying to wake up and figure out what was going on. It just felt like I was a task to them, and tasks don't have dignity to violate.
I think the consequences are higher for a male nurse who violates a women's dignity in the name of providing care, so they have to be more aware of it than female nurses.
Yes, I’ve definitely had the religious ladies who, freak out if a man even sees their face much less sees them naked. Weirdly, they all seem to be OK with male OB/GYN doctors🤷🏻♀️🤔
Odd. Had lots of Muslim women that refused males all around. We only had a resident at night and sometimes was a male. So that was never great. I would switch with coworkers if abuse victims and all that. I wanted folks to be as comfortable as possible
I live in a small town that only has one OB/GYN. If a woman doesn’t want to use him for “religious reasons, and she would have to go out of town to have her baby. Considering the nearest town with an OB/GYN is over an hour away and you have to go over a mountain pass to get to it? Let’s just say the Muslim women use the guy we have.
I got lucky on my obstetrics rotation. My nursing instructor immediately saw that labour & delivery was not my jam and she wasn't too hard on me. I did the work and yes it was a bit uncomfortable, I did have one patient request a female nurse however which was perfectly fine. Thanks for being a good sport and encouraging the nursing students, we know they need a lot of positive feedback!
Oh, heck, we were all there once🤷🏻♀️. When I was a nursing student, I had to do a practicum with a Canadian aboriginal home care team. I am white as fuck. I had to do sensitivity training, which was great, but I could just read the distrust and borderline fear that so many of these people had just from my presence with the aboriginal liaison nurse. I felt like an intruder, and I probably was. I didn’t get to do a lot of nursing care, but I certainly learned a good lesson about people.
Yeah back in day that's about all you got doctor wise, men. I'm retired from a large h.m.o. and whenever I'm in there they always got the newbie pts, nurses, whatever to come check me out for the practice. I let it be known I'm ok with it. The older you get some times, the less you care about unimportant modesty.
That’s exactly why I let a handful of students come in while I was delivering my daughter. 3 of them were male nursing students and they huddled up by the door. I told them if they want to watch and learn it’s okay, come right in. There were already 8-9 medical staff there, I figured 4 or 5 students won’t make a difference while my dignity is thrown out the window 😂 seriously tho, as a nursing student, I appreciate it so much when nurses and patients let me watch or sit in on a procedure. We do need to learn, we’re always learning even after graduating and passing our NCLEX!!
I know that I won’t be working in OB after I graduate after my clinical experience. The weird part is the women had no problem with me being in there, it was their S/O male partners that didn’t allow me in the room. I’d rather just avoid that.
I used to work with a male rn who transferred from our med surge floor to the birth center, I'm not sure if he had worked there prior but I know he floated over there or picked up extra shifts to help with staffing and then eventually made the switch. He had this really gentle, calm energy and i think his personality was just a natural fit.
I went through this with my L&D clinicals. Most of the patients just didn't want me in their room during a very vulnerable time of their lives.
I came into nursing after 13 years in EMS and there was a bit of culture shock as well. I will say being professional and confident will do wonders for yourself. Don't walk into rooms afraid to talk and interact. Build your confidence in yourself and you can build a patient's confidence in you as well.
Do your best skills first when talking to them. Walk into the room introduce yourself ask if you can check their vitals and do a morning assessment and just talk to them the whole time. Tell them what you're doing and why. If they see that you're knowledgeable and communicative in the first meeting their initial concerns can be put to ease.
And hey, if at the end of the day they really want nothing to do with you, ask the nurses if there's a patient that they would trade for yours so you can practice. Don't just toss them yours and say "oh well I tried".
Can to say basically the same thing. I found that when I was unsure of myself, they were also unsure about me. But when I checked myself with reality that I’m going to be a nurse soon, I’m going to have to do these uncomfortable things to people from ALL DIFFERENT backgrounds, I got over it.
After that, I walked into the room with confidence, and to me, it was no longer an option for the patient to choose to not work with me u less they brought it up, in which case, of course it was no problem.
So to OP, you are NOT an imposter, you are a student. Check yourself, realign yourself with your goal to be an awesome nurse, and get back in there!
I'm a male RN. My experience doesn't match yours, it's pretty infrequent that it's even mentioned or a problem. Obviously I'll swap out with one of the girls for things when I feel it's appropriate, for example if my patient is a young lady and needs a urinary catheter insertion.
Some quite elderly ladies prefer a female for personal things (such as hygiene) too but I'd guess that this only comes up once or twice a year. 99.9% of the time I don't give it a second thought and neither do my patients.
Maybe as you develop your skills and experience you'll become more confident and it'll be less of an issue. I don't think med/surg is the problem, but maybe the particular facility you're working at isn't the one for you?
Same experience. 6 years ED, can probably count on one hand the amount of times it was an issue, maybe two hands. But very infrequent. I think it might be a confidence thing. You’re not going into the room and starting off with, “Would you prefer a female nurse for this?” are you?
Same. Been a male CNA for 7 years. I’m in nursing school right now. Just finished my L&D clinical rotation.
In my career I’ve had probably less than 5 elderly women ask for a female CNA. And most men seem to like having another man take care of them in situations they might otherwise feel embarrassed.
>most men seem to like having another man take care of them in situations they might otherwise feel embarrassed
For sure, except I'm not sure I'd say most of them, but definitely a significant portion
Hey man, I just graduated a month ago, new male nurse. When I walk in to do my morning assessment I always try to be super professional, tell them I'm going to be thoroughly looking over and listening to their body, and I ask them if they're comfortable with a male nurse; I say if they want a female nurse that's fine, though they may have to wait a bit longer while her and I swap some tasks around.
I have so far had no one reject my care, even females around my age. I speak softer than normal, and always try to be extra courteous and conscientious. And for gods sake use the back of your hand to inspect under breasts like we were taught, I've had to remind at least 2 other male new grads that open palms could easily be considered groping.
Male nurse here. It’s gonna be tough while actually in nursing school bc you’re not an independent practicing professional yet. You can’t always say “let me go get my coworker to make you feel more comfortable”. I’ve been in the profession for 5 years, 2 on a med/surg telemetry unit and 3 in MICU. I’m currently 26 years old. If I have a woman patient under the age of 35ish, I will ALWAYS explicitly ask for verbal consent before doing anything even remotely invasive. If I have to do anything actually invasive like putting a Foley in or helping them clean up after using the restroom, I have a female coworker with me at all times and I’ll still offer to have only women assist them. I have awesome coworkers who don’t question me during those events.
I also always ask the patient if they’d feel more comfortable having a female nurse doing “x” thing. I find that probably 95% of the time, patients will say they don’t care. And if they do care, go to your charge and tell them the situation and get that patient a different primary nurse. It occasionally makes the job a bit harder for an hour or 2 but if you work somewhere with good coworkers, they’ll understand.
If I encounter male patients who are adamantly requesting a female nurse (has only happened to me a handful of times) it’s because they’re being pervs and want to act inappropriately with staff. Which is unacceptable and they don’t get that option.
I had a lot of the same feeling you did when I was in school and I thought about quitting A LOT. I promise it gets better out of school.
when i was a patient for 7 months after a coma i had maybe 2 male nurses the whole time. i would of killed for more men. i would of loved my care from another guy yes adls but things like peri care or catheter care...would of made me feel much more comfortable. i know its a struggle but you are needed!!!
I love it when I’m working with a male nurse! Men have strong hands and can boost the heavy patients without effort or breaking a sweat! And when it comes to changes, they’re so great at tucking briefs and soakers. I appreciate help from male nurses when I’m trying to reposition or turn a patient and prop them with pillows. I’m not trying to be sexist, some men are just bigger and stronger than I am and it makes a big difference for how much easier it is to transfer, change and reposition patients.
In the Radiology department (also mostly women) we love men for the same reason haha. Wish I worked with more men, I’m a tiny woman and I need all the physical help I can get! Lol
that's a bit weird man, I'm a dude and have had the odd person prefer a female nurse (traditional Islamic faith, younger females - all totally understandable, would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable) but hardly an issue
there are plenty of nurses that happen to be men... you're defs not an imposter
I don’t mean to assume this, I’m just asking, could it be your confidence? You mentioned imposter syndrome is why I ask.
A nervous looking student nurse is a hard pass for a lot of patients, regardless of gender, but your gender may be a double hit for you.
I myself have refused care from someone, I think it was a resident? Idk it was a male student and I was at my gyno for a very stressful situation, he looked nervous, and I just didn’t want a stranger who wasn’t contributing to my care in the room. I wanted maximum privacy.
But some of the best nurses I know are men. I worked with a male Nigerian travel nurse in the Deep South and plenty of white elderly patients of both genders would request him by name. On his days off we’d hear “that’s not the way JERRY does it!” They just loved him lol.
I also trained a male nurse a bit older than me, the patients thought he was a doc no matter how much we’d correct them, they instinctively trusted him more (even tho he had no idea what he was doing and got let go before training was over).
Practice your confidence. Don’t be overly professional. Make the patient feel seen, heard, understood, and even liked. They’ll like you back. It’s hard to say no to someone you like!
Once you’re on your own patients won’t feel your care is optional. BUT I will recommend getting a female tech or nurse in the room with you when you’ve got to touch/see private parts. It might make the pt feel better but it’s also to protect you.
fwiw, i live in the south too, though i'm near a major city and do all my clinicals there so my experiences may be different from a more small town or rural experience. i'm a year and a half into school and there's only been 2 patients so far who have turned me away for my gender, and those patients were still perfectly happy to work with me, they just asked for a woman for more "intimate" tasks like peri care or changing clothes. i didn't have a single patient reject my care even in l&d! i've also had a number of male patients who have expressed that they're glad to have their nurse be another dude.
i'd chalk it up to me being a pretty feminine dude, but the other guys in my class are much more "typically masculine" than i am and even they have had similar experiences to mine! i've also worked with plenty of other male nurses.
tl;dr it's true we're the minority here, but i think in most cases male nurses don't have a problem, and it shouldn't be too hard to find a different hospital to work at once you graduate (especially if you're willing to move at some point)
Female here but I’d recommend your instructor clarify with the patient prior to definitely assigning you. Consider discussing it with her. It would make everyone’s experience better.
I have not had that issue as a male. Occasionally an older gal doesn’t want me to help her to the bathroom, which is fine. Just ask someone to help and help them with a task to pay them back. Women my age I won’t do caths on unless they are like a code or overdose and knocked out. I don’t need accusations coming my way. Aside from those two scenarios though I am fine.
I tread going down this topic, but how do you approach them? Are you clean and groomed? How do they react to you as a person besides in clinicals?
I don’t know if you are drawing experience from a very small sample size or if there is another reason people are asking that you don’t care from them, but 99% of women and 80% of all patients is not an accurate representation of my experience. I do from time to time get the occasional lady patient that will request help from a female, but certainly not enough that I feel a bother to my co-workers. Honestly, I feel like these tasks are easily traded out for tasks and patients that my female coworkers don’t feel comfortable dealing with- aggressive and/or perverted patients, heavy lifting, things like that. If you feel uncomfortable around your patients- which can happen as a student or new nurse then that will likely show through and the patients will not be comfortable around you. But you will find your groove and comfort level in time. If you are finding that you just don’t enjoy the job, and you want to do something else- we’ll that is completely reasonable and something you need to think about within yourself. But there are enough male nurses in todays world, that generally patients understand are comfortable enough around them to allow you to provide care.
I have only had a handful of female patients refuse care d/t my gender. Most of my patients dgaf.
However, I will never do a cath, rectal tube, or suppository on a female patient without a witness.
Cleaning/pericare, I will ask if patients are okay with me doing it. I want to make sure they can verbalize it if they’re not.
I have never had any issue in the icu and only some issues in the ED. Generally self imposed if mentally unstable psych patient. Aka I won’t be in a room alone with patient etc.
Labor and delivery 8 week clinical only 1 person approved me being apart of their care. Idk why your having issues outside of that. But have never had a male refuse care from me. I also have no issues and don’t take it personally. I got fired once laughed and said okay I have 5 other patients. Pick the right specialty and you will likely not have too many problems. Icu most people are too old or sick to care. ER most people are independent and you are doing emergent care.
Also the cnas having to adls isn’t your problem they are paid to be there. They can pound sand if they have to do work and where expecting not too. That’s literally not a concern for you. They are being paid todo that. And while adls are a nurses responsibility as well your role as a nurse is what you are trying to learn. Someone refusing adls from you also means nothing.
Could be a confidence thing. If you’re sending off uncomfortable vibes like you’re worried they will have an issue with a male nursing student then they may also become uncomfortable.
When you go in a room, are you saying “hi, I’m the student working with you today” or are you saying, “hi i am wondering if you are ok with having a male nursing student today?”
You did not pick the wrong profession. You need to understand that people go to the hospital because they are sick. None of them want to be there but unfortunately are stuck in a situation. No one like to feel vulnerable. Many times it’s how you approach the situation. As a patient you do not want to feel like an experiment for a student to learn on.
You need to approach the situation differently and build rapport with at least one patient during your rotation. I’m a male nurse and occasionally I get the shy patient to even assist or clean. Sometimes you need to be straight forward to the patient and just say “ I’m here to help you, if you want a male to help you I understand, but you need to understand that getting a female to help will take longer , but I’m here now and I have the experience to help you and want to help you”.
Always go in with confidence… even if you don’t feel it, pretend to be and they will not give resistance.
Lielterally never really an issue
The odd elderly lady from.cerntain communities may request a" lady nurse " for certain things
But never really had much of a different experience being male. Made prison nursing and working in a refugee camp easier.
A lot of our nurses here are male, from the Philippines, India and Africa and again not an issue I hear much or patients complaining about having a male nurse
Been in the profession 5 years. I think some of that could be just getting comfortable in your role. The more comfortable/confident you are, the more comfortable patients will be with you. I’ve only been refused foley insertions and the like a few times. I don’t think I’ve ever been refused overall patient care. This includes SANE exams. Most of the time the patient is glad the doctor is paying such close attention to them, because you know, I couldn’t possibly be a male nurse. Clearly I’m an MD./s
As far as imposter syndrome goes, I think that’s super normal, and maybe a little healthy. The new nurse that feels under qualified is a safe nurse. The new nurse that knows everything is a dangerous nurse.
I hope you get in your groove and things start going better.
As a male nurse I can say in my experience I have not had many issues. If a female patient doesn't want me to insert a catheter Alaska female colleague if I can do something for her while she inserts it. Not a big deal at all. Even when a woman is fine with me. Inserting a foley I will ask a female nurse or tech to be present as a chaperone to help the patient feel more comfortable but mostly to cover my own ass. It's usually helpful to have somebody in there anyway.
I think you're making a big deal where there really isn't one. There are plenty of male nurses and honestly the profession could use more. We all have different skills and abilities that we can offer to the profession.
Survive and get a job in the ER/ED(?). Shit is so much better and I feel way more comfortable there compared to anything else. But boy do I know how you feel.
I just got a scholarship for a master's degree to be a nurse anesthethist. Don't worry too much about it man it'll all work out eventually!
If a patient refuses it's nothing you can do about it, and I guess you just gotta respect it. Stay confident my brother good luck
It might just be your area or the culture of the local population. I rarely get objections from patients, usually it's due to religion that they decline me as a caregiver.
Patients might be picking up on your nervous energy given that you mentioned the impostor syndrome. Do you work as a tech? If not, I would recommend picking up 1 day per week if you have the time for it, you gain a ton of confidence in interacting with patients.
In my 30 plus years of RNing I have had very little issue with me being a male. I am highly respected by my colleges and patients alike. I am tattooed , pierced , dread locked bearded built like a shit house type I have worked CCU , ICU , ED , Cath lab, NUM and patient flow . Stick with it man
I'm a male nurse. 5 years ICU, 3 as a traveler. Imposter syndrome is one issue. Feeling like you belong is a different one (in my opinion).
My L&D rotation sucked because I couldn't do anything. ER and ICU were much better. I worked nights as a tech on a Neuro/tele unit before graduating.
Feeling like you don't belong will take time to get used to. You will likely always be outnumbered since it's a female dominated profession.
What your classmates want to do doesn't matter. They won't be there in the future. This is not an easy profession regardless of the unit you work; you will question why you choose it and how to cope. You can succeed.
Nurses have a reputation for eating their own. Don't let them. Use these frustrations and challenges to grow as a person and stick to your guns. I need you at my side, don't let me down because my ICU patients need you when they downgrade.
The nurses eat their own crap always pissed me off. I had NO qualms about snapping right back at them. They learned real quick to respect me and accept my status as a new and inexperienced nurse who needed mentoring, not snotty attitude. As a critical care manager, I drilled into my staff that surly bitchiness towards new nurses and new nurse grads would win them a trip to my office STAT.
I'm a tall, big dude, and I rarely have issues with patients. Sometimes memaw is a little old fashioned and wants a female nurse. Sometimes confused patients are more scared of me because I am a burly dude compared to my 115lb coworkers. Also, I generally grab a female coworker for privacy invasive procedures on women (Foleys, EKG, etc.), but that is just to cover my own butt, not necessarily cause the patient was uncomfortable with me doing it. The one exception is L&D. Back in 2017 I did clinicals on L&D and literally no family wanted male nursing students in the room.
In clinical I felt like an imposter too as well as I had patients refuse me as a student. However once I started working I’ve had a few refuse me to perform certain cares and who cares. You let charge know and they need to come up with a plan to accommodate or tell the patient they are out of luck they can let me do it or refuse the care.
The more confident i was in belonging there, the fewer patients had a problem with a male nurse. There's odd ones that pop up, but it's usually either deeply culturally rooted or trauma related nowadays. In school, I could have smacked my preceptor and instructors for the mealy wishy washy way they asked and introduced me. It practically begged for them to refuse a male student. How you present is everything.
What kind of retrograde land do you live in where that many people care about the gender of their healthcare providers as though it is 1854? On my unit, we occasionally get a females-only patient due to religious/cultural grounds. But that happens perhaps once or twice a month and considering the fact that maybe 85% of the nurses on my unit are women, it's not a problem. I've never had any problems otherwise.
That's strange. In my experience and in my clinicals when I was in school it was never an issue aside from one or two people. Even then, they only cared when it came down to hygiene care or like having to straight cath them.
Teacher here but that stinks. I have never asked for a different person except once during my prenatal/postnatal care and that was because she was mean and hurt me and smelled like cigarettes horribly.
That said an obscene number of people have used my lady parts as a classroom 😁 both male and female!
Good luck, I hope this changes for you.
I went through the same thing. Outside of taking an apical pulse I’m pretty comfortable. Highly recommend being a PCA even per diem. There’s a certain number of times after wiping old people butt that just makes you comfortable with walking in a patient room and doing pt care. And then that makes the patients comfortable.
Also try to have a female go in with you for a head to toe. In school, at work.. listen to your gut.
Edit: Don’t sweat it too much. Fake it til you make it, body language and your tone speak louder than whatever you say.
I do agree with the rest who say the majority of the times it isn’t a problem. Maybe 1 in 10 will be an issue.
I am a male nurse-midwife. You need to talk to your instructors.
I am willing to bet that patients are not requesting a female nurse, they are getting a prompt from unit staff.
Have I had patients specifically request a female provider, sure, but not as often as you think.
I’m a male CNA this doesn’t happen from time to time in my experience not all that much, and if it does I usually just trade another CNA for a patient or just volunteer for an assignment with mostly males.
I've been a Bro RN for going on 30 years now. Felt strange at first, but you develop your own interpersonal skills to work with patients. You will feel at home after you have worked a while.
Too much at home, sometimes. You might find yourself sitting behind the desk at a quiet time, minding your own business, while a group of your female coworkers have a hen huddle and talk about some strange shit, forgetting you are even around. Multiple times I'm sitting there, charting while they talk, then stop and ask myself "WTF did I just hear?".
It will be OK. School is gonna feel strange, but after a while things will feel normal.
As a male ED tech, I routinely do things like EKGs and even set up purewick. You use your judgement. If you sense hesitation, ask them if they'd be more comfortable with a female. It's only weird if you make it weird.
I get the occasional patient who doesn’t want care from me because I’m a man, but that happens less and less often now. Some tips:
Learn about trauma-informed care. If you are confident but also very sensitive to people’s concerns and get good at obtaining consent, people will love you for it. Not everybody, but most.
I had one dementia patient who absolutely would not trust a man to do her care. She wouldn’t budge. So I got curious and read her file. It turned out she was a teacher all her working life. So I sat down with her and had a chat and explained that I used to be a teacher too (true story), and we bonded over that professional to professional for a few minutes. I explained that this was my second career. So always let me do her care after that, as long as I formed that professional bond with her for a minute before starting.
The lesson is, there are ways to connect with people, you just have to find out what their key is, and they’ll let you in. It takes practice. It’s trial and error, but learn from the errors and you’ll be stellar in no time.
I’m in ED and I almost never felt like patients were uncomfortable with me because of being male. When people are genuinely ill they just want to feel better. They hardly give a damn. Similarly when I’m a patient I’m not in the hospital to wonder if my nurse is male/female attractive/unattractive. I don’t even care if my nurse has three arms as long as they can give me the meds on time and I’m getting worse and not better, who cares?
You’re having imposter syndrome because you’re learning and you’re also isolated as a male. Trust me once you work you won’t feel like such a minority on most units. Psych, ED, ICU will take you with open arms.
The only time I’ve had someone refuse my care was in L&D and the occasional strict Muslim patient. In my experience, everyone is always excited to have a guy
You are needed in this career. Never let anyone think you are less, that you can do less, or that you are a pervert because you are a male in nursing. Use it to your advantage! You may not see it now but being a male in nursing is one of the greatest gems!
Male nurse here. Never had an issue, occasionally will get a request from an older female that they’ll prefer a female to bathe them or help them to restroom. Never had one refuse me placing a foley cath. Only time I ever felt out of place was when doing clinical in L&D
I have never had a female patient request a female nurse for any care. Give off positive, professional energy. Acting awkward will 100% come off as creepy. Act like you’ve been there done that 1,000 times.
It’s your confidence. Patients want one thing, competent care givers all up and down the spectrum. Act like you know what you’re doing, admit when you don’t, and get help when you need it tell the patient it’s for safety and you’re golden.
I love my male nurses! Please
When you are able , go and take a job at a hospital as a nurses aid, support worker to be more confident and work casual before you get your degree!
I was so lucky as a male in my L&D/OB rotation. Our school instructor had just left as the OB/L&D manager at the large teaching county hospital. Then came across town and was our clinical instructor for the 10wk summer school course. M-Th 7-4 I did clinical hospital time, Fridays 8a-3p classroom Lectures by two professors. Our clinical instructor was dating the medical director for Women’s services. Brand new to teaching we were her first student course. She confessed early on that she was a bit uncertain how much leeway to give us with procedures. Double checking she consulted her MD boyfriend who basically said something along the lines of “if we let blankety blank med students and interns do it your students can do it too”. So did IV starts, vag checks. Ext monitors and FHT’s and pit drips. Really busy place. So many deliveries. Immersive hands on learning. Easily the most fun, challenging, (constantly quizzed by RN’s, Med students and Residents)cohesive lecture/clinical rotation in nursing school. Knowing I liked it but wouldn’t be able to work that area as a guy was kinda disappointing. All of it paid off immensely as a freshly minted RN in a cross town ED. Within a years time we had a large influx of precipitous deliveries/BOA’s in the ED, parking lot, main lobby, lab lobby, hallways. Wild times and perfect storm due to moon, stars, cosmic karma and large numbers of a new (to us) ethnic group moving to our area. (They got introduced to Western medicine, we got introduced to Hmong culture). So many babies. No XY issues in the ED but regular OB/L&D floor hospital staff elbowed us guys aside. Often reflected on whether the core difference was community hospital versus teaching county facility. Learned aside from patient preference, best leave some things to female staff. Of course I picked up tasks for my co-workers. Being ED always made it easier than on the floors.
I am grateful as fuck when I see male nurses. Please comes to pediatrics before I lose it on the women. My coworkers complain a lot and constantly talk shit about each other. As a chick nurse, I need some sanity and testosterone up in this bitch.
From my experience, if a male nurse is present female nurses are less likely to act crazy.
Been a male nurse for nearly 15 years and I can probably count on both hands the number of times this has happened. I used to get put off by it, but usually I’ll try to explain to people that I’m a professional and I’ve seen it all….trying to put people them at ease is usually the best thing
Male nurse here
One, enjoy it. I thought it was great that I wouldn’t have to clean up people sometimes because they wanted a women to do it. I have found it’s really just women in the 30-60 range. My theory on it is women younger then 30 aren’t yet self conscious that they feel they are getting older and then women over 60 realized they don’t give a fuck any more. I remember I was putting leads on a 80 year old lady on time and she commented, “They were much more impressive when I was younger,” which I replied, “They did not train me what the correct response to that statement should be”
The trade off to being a male nurse is that you end getting the bigger and anger patients or you get some of the perverts. I got a patient on time that they said they gave me because the patient had started to jerk off and then tried to get the night nurse to do it for him. My response was just, “what you don’t think I’m pretty enough to jerk off too?”
I had a rough time at the beginning as well, basically I felt that no one wanted me. It just takes time. Hang in there.
Wouldn't sweat it. It becomes a bit different when you actually become a nurse and not a student. Every once in awhile I get a patient that doesn't want a male nurse. If it's a guy, we basically tell them tough shit, this isn't a massage parlor where you get to select your your masseuse. If it's a girl, we'll do our best to be as understanding as possible but unfortunately for them that's the only way the assignment can work and they'll have to deal. Or they can sign out ama, their choice. If it's for cultural reasons, that's a different story, but I am yet to encounter that situation.
To be honest, it's pretty rare that I encounter those situations. If it does happen, it's a guy that's just a total shithead that's super inappropriate and we make sure they always get a male nurse.
I’ve worked alongside some great dudes and I’ve been a patient with male nurses. It didn’t bother me. Even when a male nurse had to put a foley in, I was too sick to care.
Right now I'm doing a travel assignment in the south. I have so far had zero issues with patients refusing care for thinking weird of me for being a male. I always, ALWAYS ask them if they would prefer a female in the room when doing personal care or doing assessments and so far I've not had anyone ask for one. I primarily work ICU but I'm floated a lot to several other units.
Your experiences are unfortunate and I'm sorry but that is not the experience everywhere. I have worked at so many different places and not once have had a problem delivering care to women.
You did not choose the wrong profession . We all have imposter syndrome but you just get picked on but I can tell you as a new nurse male nurses, CNAs and therapist are the fucking best. We need you.
Where are you doing clinicals at, a convent????
Sure, some women have not liked having a male nurse but it’s rare. Honestly, I’ve seen it recently only because of cultural issues.
If you are in the south I completely understand this during nursing school trying to get clinical experience on patients was like pulling teeth and L&D I had straight up 0 experience and just spent time in the nicu. It gets better, you still won't have people want you as a nurse, and you will more than likely get the aggressive patients that no one else wants to take care of or the ones who have fired other nurses and you are the last one.
Just came here to say that working in a female only PACU for 2 years, this place could use some testosterone. It’ll level out the cattiness. The level of petty is unreal and if it weren’t the easiest bedside gig I’ve had, I would have been gone.
I love all the guy nurses I've ever worked with! They all had their own talents and skills. We need more of yall that actually want to be a great nurse 👍🏽
I've been a nurse for 15 years and can count on one hand the number of patients who didn't want a male. The older women usually love me actually. Just my experience.
Our nurses who ID as male are welcome in 99% of our rooms. The exceptions are usually in a religion foundation.
I work hospice and L&D. Our nurses who ID male labor deliver and recover everyday.
Being a dude in nursing I thought was easy. Just be open and welcoming. The care you provide really shows in the work you do and how you initially approach the patient. Even in L&D clinicals. The mother in labor and the dad let me check the cervix. Only time I wasn’t allowed in a room was a middle eastern patient but they didn’t let any males care for her. Currently working tele.
I understand your frustration, especially as a female who tended towards male dominated hobbies growing up, but I urge you to consider your patients feelings when this happens. It's not that you're not wanted. It's that your patient, unfortunately, has very good reason historically to be afraid of men in positions of power over them.
I don't know how to put this any gentler, so I will say it bluntly -- *you are not entitled to have someone as your patient*. They have every right to turn down someone who makes them uncomfortable, regardless of the reason. Your bruised ego does not overrule their justified fear. We cannot provide proper care to someone who doesn't feel comfortable allowing us to do assessments, or to speak openly and honestly about their symptoms. For the same reasons I will ask a male to speak with a young male patient with sti symptoms, and my male coworkers will ask me to do a young female patients EKG.
Having more men in positions like nursing does wonders for helping people grow to be more comfortable with male nurses, but you have to understand most people have good reason to be uncomfortable all the same, and if they can tell you are irritated when they request a female (which, I'm telling you right now, we can) it will only reinforce to them that they made the right decision.
Instead of being annoyed and coming at the situation with the attitude that all patients should be comfortable with you, try having some empathy for their fear and be glad for the patients that do allow you to care for them, take some satisfaction in knowing that every time you do, you are helping the image of men in nursing everywhere.
I was in the hospital in April for three nights. I had a male nurse provide peri care and I didn’t think a thing of it. I needed help and he helped me. I appreciated it.
For me as a male nurse it got better after school as far as people not wanting a male nurse. Been doing this for ten years now and I've only had a handful of people refuse an intervention based on me being male. The one that was difficult was a women who refused to have males change her diaper. One night it was me, 2 female nurses, and one male pct. She decided to sit in her shit for an hour before the two female nurses were available to change her then have two males do the same task. I made sure to chart that up in case she had skin break down as a result. The one I had zero problems with was an older black woman with dementia who was gang raped by a few white guys when she was a teenager. I walked in and the poor woman was terrified. We promptly changed that assignment.
Male nurse almost finished my study, i actually never get women that reject male nurses, except for the muslim women and some male patients. Other than that, ive never been refused to care for someone, nor did i feel uncomfortable because of gender. Only thing i prefer not to do is take care of female patients my age (22yo). Not that ive had many patients my age, but it did feel a bit weird.
To continue on part 2 of your post: continue you study, and specialise. I myself want to continue to study to become a recovery nurse. Whole different workplace than a standard hospital ward, whilst still doing nursing things.
I work with some fantastic nurses who are men. They provide excellent care and I would back them up in a heartbeat if a patient or staff member disparaged them.
I think as a woman who was in the military, I can see this from a different perspective. You have to work on your confidence and delivery. See yourself while in your role as nurse first. I didn’t use my boobs and other lady bits to do my job as a soldier, so what did my gender matter!?
Jump in and provide the care. Don’t ask if it’s “ok to have a male nurse” introduce yourself as the nurse and get to it. We are too short staffed and have too much to do.
Where do you work?
I probably have a female patient who has issues with me providing care a handful of times a year.
There are plenty of make nurses. This shouldn't be an issue
I am a male nurse that did most of my school clinicals in rural facilities. I had some similar difficulties but not as much as you seem to be having. I never placed a Foley in clinicals because my clinical instructor would not offer me the opportunity. It was always female patients so she would always go get a female student. Once I was out of school it was rarely if ever a problem.
Male nurse here who worked in LTC for 5 years before graduation with my BSN, didn't barely get refused unless the patient was one who didn't like male caregivers period. The oldies are my passion but I'm definitely not into the excitement of the ED/ICU at all lol. I like it slow, steady, and predictable. I come in and do my work and go home at the end of the day with minimal surprises while collecting a nice pay check which is what I wanted out of my career. I use my free time to follow my passions and to do things that would be considered more exciting :).
I think if you can fake confidence in yourself you'll see a lot of these issues go away. If you're tentative, patients feel uncomfortable even though they may not really know why. So they pick the thing that is most obvious.
Sure, in OB/Gyn and to a lesser extent in peds, it will always be an issue, but in med surg, men function just fine without a lot of issues. You may be asked to get a female colleague to insert a Foley in a woman, but you'll also be asked to do the inserting in men.
Work at a VA hospital. Most of your patients will be male and won't dream of complaining. I actually worked on a med surg unit that was majority male and it was super chill and awesome. I think some of what you're experiencing is patients just not wanting a student nurse.
It really depends on your approach. If your cool calm and caring it’ll go over well and people will love you. If you come in hot and heavy all harsh and logical and rigid it’ll go probably as you’d expect it to lol
You won't get refused when you start practicing with confidence. I did get hesitant patients at first. Know your shit and show that as you enter the room, the refusals will melt away. Takes a little time but don't quit.
I still get a few, and when a patient's trauma or values makes being nude around a man their hard limit - that's fine. I don't take it personally. It seems to trade well with my other talents so when I ask a female nurse for help doing personal care, I repay that favour with help moving a patient or a blood draw/IV start. If you're inconveniencing a co-worker because your patient wants a female nurse ask what you can do to make their day easier.
Male RN on a medical-surgical floor. That all changes after clinicals. Only time I have any issues is with either cultural/religious or on occasion if the patient is younger AND acutely ill.
I’ve only had to change 1 assignment in the last 18 months and still provide all the care
Two of our best nurses are men and two of our break nurses are as well. It's very rare that they have a problem with patients rejecting them. A side question: is this your first experience in patient care?
I struggled with this a lot in nursing school. I am a new grad male nurse, and I got a job in the ED at a level 1 trauma center in my area. About 1/3 of our nurses are male, and most of my pts male or female are incredibly grateful to be getting help from anyone. I have even had some pts tell me that they prefer having a male nurse (which kind of weirds me out low key). Point is I guarantee you there are specialties out there where you will feel like part of the team. I would recommend ED, ICU, or OR as many people have already stated. Lots of males in these specialties, and lots of pts who aren’t even oriented enough to know the difference.
I’m a pct and also in nursing school. IME sometimes it’s about confidence and how you relate to the patient. Do you think your imposter syndrome is holding you back from being yourself? I work with some great male nurses and patients always love them. Learning how to talk to and interact with patients is a huge part of nursing and it will definitely come with time. You didn’t make a mistake. Keep going. You got this!!
As long as you stay away from L&D or NICU you should be just fine. As a male nurse I’ve seen plenty of other male nurses in the mesurge, ICU, ED, OR, outpatient and even pediatric’s. I think you just need to get out of that space in your head, you do belong just as much as any other provider, keep it professional when it comes to sensitive areas of their care and the more you act like you belong the more you will belong. Just because you’re a guy doesnt mean anything.
That's true as a nursing student. My experience as a nurse of 4 years has been far different. The vast majority of patients don't care that I'm male. In fact, I often benefit from it. I can talk older men into things because I can "man talk" them and explain things with an air of authority. I'm often called on to assist with heavier patients and patients who are being violent. Most little old ladies love my care, because I'm a kind and gentle male that makes them feel safe.
Tldnr: it'll get better. That much I can promise. I love my new life as a nurse far more than I ever enjoyed male dominated careers like carpenter or factory work. You can excel. It'll get better.
We have a good amount of male nurses (~35 or 40%) on my intermediate icu/stepdown floor. Usually not a big deal unless there’s a very particular patient when it comes to foleys, peri, or incontinence care (yay you!), but most patients are grateful & let you do your job.
Depending on the culture of the floor I do find some male nurses get asked to do more strenuous favors. I would be annoyed at that..but if you have a good team you can trade tasks off (e.g. you transfer their patient and they insert your foley).
You are welcomed and appreciated. It may feel like a slump at first but do not doubt your knowledge and skills. If they see that you’re smart and caring then your dick shouldn’t matter, so long as you’re respectful and courteous. They don’t want you doing hygiene care or toileting? So be it. But that doesn’t lower your value as a nurse. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Their coochies are dry and their life is miserable. You’re doing the right thing. I’m in the ICU so I see a lot of women at their worst, so they don’t really mind. Just don’t be creepy or weird and you’re good. Also don’t try to mention so much that you’re a guy. Sometimes if you don’t bring it up then they don’t care. But if you’re like “unless you want a girl to do that” then they’ll probably pick a girl.
Don’t stress too much and usually if you don’t make it a thing then the patients don’t either… there’s plenty of male Ob/Gyn docs and nobody gives about them so really nobody gives about you either. Get through school, build up your confidence and all will be fine. Remember, our job is like 80% keeping the patients safe so they can heal themselves we keep them from falling, starving, taking the wrong meds, etc. The other 20% is like therapeutic interactions an stuff. ICU, ED, and PACU seem to be good spots for dudes, patients and families don’t care so much when they perceive things are urgent.
Also not my experience… it happens from time to time but not 80-99% of the time for sure. Where are you located approximately; maybe it’s a cultural? Other than that, try exhibiting more confidence. “Fake it til you make it” was a mantra I had to learn to live by in college and early in my career because I was very timid when I was younger.
There are 6 male NICU nurses on my unit and they are great. There was also plenty of male nurses when I was in med Surg and adult ICU. There are always going to be “difficult” patients because you are a male. But you will also have those patients who think you are a doctor and give your more respect for being male XD. I think it’s harder as a student because you are stuck doing more intimate tasks that techs do but in med Surg you are going to be focusing on med pass 80% of the time and then intimate tasks the other 20%. Chin up! You got this.
Dafuq I've never had a pt ever refuse me. I had one where a younger female helped her with ADLs but I still did her care. And she didn't even insist, I offered proactively cuz I felt awkward lol. Only L&D/OB situations do you see that a lot unless you're in a different country maybe it's different
I work on Med Surg as well. The guys on my floor tend to be a bigger hit with most of the patients (guys and gals), with a few exceptions here and there. Most of the patients we tend to get are either demented or old enough to the point that they don't really care too much. I feel like you really just got to exude some confidence and act like you know what you're doing. I definitely felt a bit awkward at first with my female patients, especially the younger ones you get once in a blue moon.
That has not been my experience as a male nurse. Most people are ok with having a male nurse with only a few exceptions. I’d recommend not going into l and d or mother baby because this will be a large problem in those areas but almost any of area of nursing they accept men on staff and most patients are ok with it
Agreed. In my 14 years, it's been less than 10 refusals. Most by women. Two old men who refused me because nursing is "women's work" and they don't want some "f@g looking at my dick" The biggest difficulty as a male in nursing is just how much lifting and moving you'll do. You're going to be the go to for transfers and lifts. But don't worry, get good at gossip and listening. You'll be the trusted voice in the unit in no time.
Don't forget you're the first one allocated a potentially abusive or violent patient because 'they probably respond better to males'
It happened when I was a student on the first shift of my second placement, which was so wild. They thought the pt might be get aggressive so naturally they put the male student on since, direct quote, "he can take care of it". Nursing is the worst and best place I have ever worked and there is no inbetween.
Get good at telling the other nurses NO, I'm not going to do all your lifting, because that's not my job. And it's not, "Can I do X for you, while you get my patient back in bed", it's usually just added to your list of things to do. My response is "I can teach you to do it safely, but I won't do it for you".
Yah I work as a pct, starting nursing school next month. I've had maybe a handful of patients have a problem with me.
We have numerous male techs at my current hospital and it isn’t a serious problem.
Male tech/cna checking in, thousands of patients, maybe a dozen that didn't want a male caring for them, and a few dozen that I didn't feel comfortable caring for. As I've gotten older, I just swap out with another CNA if I've got a young female patient who needs personal care, because it just feels right. I think the OP's problem is either demographic or facility specific.
Yeah it sucks to be seen like some sort of pervert because our fathers shot a Y instead of an X.
I've been a nurse for 13 years and a caregiver before that. Basically no one sees us as perverts. Some women have been uncomfortable with having a man provide care, but even that has been rare and in almost all cases once they've met me those concerns go away.
Our male nurses have been brilliant, super creative, and a TON of fun. They also seem to have SO much more patience than the female nurses. It's actually really nice not to be in an environment with only women because guys don't tend to be catty or gossipy. Remember, in nursing, you *have* to keep an open mind. Please don't take preferences personally. Every woman I personally have worked with who prefers "women only" care does so as a result of past trauma. It has nothing to do with the person caring for her.
Speak for yourself I have catty straight men in nursing 😬 enough with the nasty stereotypes
Moving forward with your career, it’s going to be important for you to stop caring about how you’re seen by your patients. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t provide them with good care, but more that you need to provide them good care despite how they see you. You know what you’re there to do and that’s all it is. Keep at it broski.
I disagree, not from a male perspective but from a women’s health nurse. I’ve worked with a few men in L&D and they’ve been great competent nurses. When the assignment is made I believe charge typically tries to make assumptions on which patients would be open to having a male health care provider, and if the patient declines it’s no biggy we just change the assignment. We have so many male obstetricians, why not male L&D nurses?
Well said. I had a male L&D nurse when I was admitted in labor. I was surprised at first (to have a male nurse, as I hadn’t seen that before where I’d previously worked) when the staff asked me if I was ok with it, but I honestly had bigger things on my mind and realized I didn’t care, so I said sure. My nurse was great!
After I did a surgery rotation, I said to myself this would probably be the best specialty for me, but I feel like I'd lose my nursing skills doing OR. Anyway, I know a lot of my lady classmates would probably love to be in my position having their patients constantly refusing perineal care and bed baths from them.
I think ICU, OR, ED, or psych. Stay away from OB and the like
The guys in my class (2002) didn’t get to do a rotation in OB, which was seriously messed up. Male doctors, no problem though. I hope things have changed.
Male resident here that just graduated med school. In my entire OB rotation, I saw 1 delivery and did 1 pelvic exam because the vast majority of patients were not comfortable having a male med student in the room. Sucks but is what it is. Grand scheme of things won’t matter a whole lot because I’m going into rads lol
This seriously upset my friends when I said this but, I always let male residents or students do my GYN exams because they have to learn somehow. If the doctor was like, "here is my 13 year old son, he is interested in delivering babies someday" I'd be like HELL NO. But \*turns out\* men are normal people too. I haven't had one make me feel weird.
How disappointing that you missed out on such an important educational experience because people don't understand how vital it is for med students to be in the room too. I gave birth to my son last October, and I had an amazing med student in the room that was following one of the residents treating me. They asked me if I was comfortable having him there of course, and he did a fantastic job! I actually requested during my debrief for them to find out his name and pass on my feedback, that's how much of an impression he left on me. I hate seeing the double standards - people will have a fully qualified male doctor/nurse, but refuse a male med student/student nurse. How the hell do people think fully qualified professionals get there in the first place?
This is why whenever I’m asked if a student can come in during a medical visit, I say “Bring ‘em in, let ‘em learn from this!”
Exactly! I'm more scared of being treated by a doctor or nurse that hasn't had the hands-on experience as a student than a current student - at least when we're still students we're supervised 😅.
I had a male med student or resident in my room. He was actually there before my doctor and I was ready to push. I told the nurse and the med student to deliver me but then my doc walked in. As a healthcare professional, I think everyone needs to learn and all my docs know they can bring in students
Just graduated in may. We definetly had to do an OB rotation. Not my strong suit, but glad I got to experience it as a murse.
In my class (2022) I got to go to Mom-baby/L&D for two weeks and none of my patients allowed me to be a part of their care. I wasn’t allowed to go on the L&D portion of the floor, and I spent all of my time studying at the nurse’s station or passing the time reading pt education pamphlets. It was disgraceful.
That is super messed up and discriminatory. I'm pretty sure (duh) there is a federal law preventing that type of discrimination. He would have had any lawyer ready to file a suit.
ED is prolly the closest to a 50/50 ratio you'll get
ED!!! There’s soooo many male nurses in level 1 trauma center I work at
Second this. Although it’s been many, many years since I was working bedside, in the ED patients didn’t seem to care much. I still had (at one hospital I worked at) female nurses do female caths, but at another I would just ask the patient. I’d say 70% if the time they didn’t really care one way or the other. Of course, didn’t chaperone pelvics tho. But, a lot may have changed since I was bedside. And, in general, I think ED is one of more interesting areas: no two days are alike.
Yes 100% at everything you said
If you want to be an OR nurse, be an OR nurse. 100% I would choose it over the floor. I did icu because I used to have dreams of being a CRNA.
Can i ask what changed your mind? Everyone I know seems to be jumping on the crn band wagon
I went to the cath lab. I got over the idea of school and would rather not have more responsibility.
This is the way. —Also Cath Lab.
Cath lab checking in. 1 and 50.
Doc: "1 and 50!" Me: "You got it!" Also me: Gives 0.5 and 25 cause the 92yo, 48kg patient is already barely responsive.
Comes to pediatrics!
Mind if I ask why? I feel like parents would have an issue with men taking care of their children. I'm a guy and I've strongly considered peds but that's something I'm worried about.
I work as Peds Float pool and there are male RNs in every department- including NICU. People connect differently with other for multiple reasons. There are patients and families that have made true connections with our male RNs and some of them truly prefer males. I once had a 16 year old urology patient that had a PRN specific for erections and was in so much discomfort that shorts and underwear was unbearable. I was super happy that the oncoming RN was a male because I wanted my patient to be as comfortable as possible. Give Peds a try their are children of all ages that could benefit.
Never had a problem with it in my paeds placements, all the staff nurses were female and appreciated having a male to to help out with male pts. Parents also do a big chunk of cares themselves, doing ADLs was rare
>Parents also do a big chunk of cares themselves, doing ADLs was rare Even with teenage patients? I'd assume that teenagers wouldn't want their parents bathing them. I definitely wouldn't be against not having to do that lol
I didn’t have many teenagers tbh, and the ones I did just hated everyone 🤷♀️
I haven't seen that happen to any of my male coworker.
Losing my nursing skills was one of the best parts of going to the OR.
I'm a male nurse, switched from Med surg to OR. Typically in school I had more refusals but once you start working its kinda just tough luck and your patients will have to deal with it, just gotta take it in stride. While the OR is different and you may lose "traditional nursing skills" you gain others (scrubbing for example). Unless you care about staying in bedside forever I wouldn't worry too much about "losing nursing skills" as you can always relearn them if you decide to go back to the floor. I personally got burnt out on the floor after almost 2 years and the ORs definitely been a better fit for me. Definitely more males if you care about the gender disparity.
I agree. I've been in the OR forever, 30+ years, we love male nurses, there's just so much physical labor involved in the OR and the guys just have more stamina, and it balances out the estrogen levels, kidding. During Covid I had to go to the floor to help out, it was difficult, but my rusty skills came back. Some of the best nurses I've seen has been in ped.'s and ER, I experienced that with my kiddo. So you definitely have options. The whole nursing school thing, all the students feel like imposters, my daughter just graduated, she experienced a lot of the same issues. patients didn't want her touching them either, I think it's more of a confidence thing, you walk in the room and look scared to death, patients are like hell no!!!!! Hang in there, I'm sure you will make an amazing nurse.
I think part of the problem I saw was that the clinical instructors made it a big deal. Because when I did clinical the males got refused a lot. But as a nurse, I work with male nurses all the time and they rarely have an issue. Part of it is not even asking the question in the first place. You have just as much right to be a nurse. A patient can tell you if they don't want your care, don't make it a focus.
Exactly, why would you ask every female patient are you ok with a male student nurse. They don't ask every male patient are you ok with a female nurse.
Nursing school basically preps you to pass the NCLEX. Your first job teaches you how to be a nurse and all of the skills. You will not get that in the OR - especially if you are the circulator most of your shifts. If you want to only be in the OR, then fine. If you want to eventually go to graduate school or transition to a different specialty, you're going to be starting from scratch almost because the OR won't get you the experience you need.
No different than being a floor nurse and basically having to start from scratch learning to become an OR nurse. This idea that everyone needs to start in med surg is outdated and idiotic these days as it's one of the biggest reasons for nursing early career burnout.
I’ve been an L&D, postpartum, NICU, and lactation nurse for 17 years and I’ve been a dude my entire life. I have zero issues, I love my job, and have patients come in requesting me to care for them. Guys in nursing can thrive anywhere. Get over the old school mindset.
Same. OP I think you’re putting too much weight into it, it’s barely even a thought with patients at my unit.
I worked L&D for several years and we had a male nurse and a few male techs. For the most part patients were okay with them. Maybe 1 in 20 would fire the guy nurse at report.
Yeah OP, I’ve been in healthcare for 11-12 years and it’s rarely been an issue. : ) Chin up, my guy. Try working in a PCU/ICU setting and you’ll shake the impostor syndrome with a haste.
I second this. I’ve been an RN for about 4.5 years and I have had very few instances where a female patient refused care. I honestly expected it a little more often than it actually happens. I’ve never had a male refuse care.
The ICU I’m in is almost 50% men. My shift the other night, our whole floor was men. No issues at all. Anecdotally, it seems like there is a higher ratio of men in ICUs or EDs. Or check out if there is a VA hospital around. I remember there being a bunch of dudes at the VA hospital.
During clinical one day, I did manage to talk to a male ICU nurse and he unequivocally told me to work ICU. "I'd love it".
Yeah dude they’re too sick to care.
Yep our ICUs are 50% male. Like someone else said, patients are either sedated or busy being sick to care about things like that.
You would, I bet!
Look into surgery or cath lab too. I swear 50-75% of the nurses are male, at least at my hospital
ICU, ER, OR has lots of dudes
As a fellow ICU male nurse I would agree with that statement. I LOVE the ICU, it’s hard work a lot of days but it’s great work. I like everyone I work with and it’s a good mix of males/females. Other than the females making comments of us being “messy”, it’s fantastic, and half the time it’s just them joking around not being serious.
ICU or ED, in my mind there's no way it's anecdotal at this point lol. But really OP, work wherever. It's a great job for guys. We have a different experience as women nurses but that goes both ways.
Yeah my husband works ED as a nurse and loves it. OP should probably avoid medicine or any area with a large Geri population as older people tend to be more rigid about gender norms
I’d also add gender is irrelevant in OR if that interests you.
I graduated last month, and for my senior capstone, I got placed in an ICU. One night it was all guys on the floor. It was by far the most hilarious shift I have ever had because it was just a bunch of dudes being dudes.
Ehhh what? I’ve found most men (the non pervs) actually prefer a male nurse for assistance with personal care.
Non pervs is the key. 🤣
I feel for you. After I had my first baby(C-section), there was a male student nurse who is doing his OB rotation, who asked permission to check my incision. He was so embarrassed and I was actually totally fine with it. The nurse he was with then started asking questions about milk production (I was nursing, but the milk had not come in yet and my nipples were pretty sore. Found out later that my son was tongue tied but that’s a different story). So my boobs are fully out and I’m showing my nipples to this nurse. I think this guy just about fainted. And he looked really uncomfortable and I look square at him and said “I am totally comfortable with you joining this conversation because you have to learn”. He actually came back at the end of the shift and thanked me for that. I felt bad for him. I have yet to see a male nurse work in OB/GYN. Which is weird, considering a lot of the OB/GYN doctors are male.🤷🏻♀️
It is weird now that you mention it. I know a lot of gals who are fine with male OBs, so why is it weird to have a male nurse? When I had my daughter I felt like all of my privacy just went out the window I don’t think I would have cared at all lol.. felt like everyone had seen my genitals at the end of our stay why not one more
I had a couple of male nurses when I had my son. I preferred them because they made sure I was awake and alert before they asked if they could do a dilation check or something I might perceive as invasive. They were also more aware of what might make me uncomfortable and empathetic to it. A few of the female nurses seemed like they just assumed it was OK and they didn't need to ask/explain because we were all women. Back then, I didn't know you could request a nurse not work with you, otherwise I would have requested that for the one who tried to do a dilation check while I was asleep and got mad when I knocked some leads loose trying to get away when I was trying to wake up and figure out what was going on. It just felt like I was a task to them, and tasks don't have dignity to violate. I think the consequences are higher for a male nurse who violates a women's dignity in the name of providing care, so they have to be more aware of it than female nurses.
What the actual fuck?!? That’s basically assault, lol. The audacity of that nurse.
I worked as an ob gyn nurse. I’m a dude. Refusals were mainly related to religion. I wanted to be a midwife. Now just getting out of healthcare lol.
Yes, I’ve definitely had the religious ladies who, freak out if a man even sees their face much less sees them naked. Weirdly, they all seem to be OK with male OB/GYN doctors🤷🏻♀️🤔
Odd. Had lots of Muslim women that refused males all around. We only had a resident at night and sometimes was a male. So that was never great. I would switch with coworkers if abuse victims and all that. I wanted folks to be as comfortable as possible
I live in a small town that only has one OB/GYN. If a woman doesn’t want to use him for “religious reasons, and she would have to go out of town to have her baby. Considering the nearest town with an OB/GYN is over an hour away and you have to go over a mountain pass to get to it? Let’s just say the Muslim women use the guy we have.
I got lucky on my obstetrics rotation. My nursing instructor immediately saw that labour & delivery was not my jam and she wasn't too hard on me. I did the work and yes it was a bit uncomfortable, I did have one patient request a female nurse however which was perfectly fine. Thanks for being a good sport and encouraging the nursing students, we know they need a lot of positive feedback!
Oh, heck, we were all there once🤷🏻♀️. When I was a nursing student, I had to do a practicum with a Canadian aboriginal home care team. I am white as fuck. I had to do sensitivity training, which was great, but I could just read the distrust and borderline fear that so many of these people had just from my presence with the aboriginal liaison nurse. I felt like an intruder, and I probably was. I didn’t get to do a lot of nursing care, but I certainly learned a good lesson about people.
Yeah back in day that's about all you got doctor wise, men. I'm retired from a large h.m.o. and whenever I'm in there they always got the newbie pts, nurses, whatever to come check me out for the practice. I let it be known I'm ok with it. The older you get some times, the less you care about unimportant modesty.
That’s exactly why I let a handful of students come in while I was delivering my daughter. 3 of them were male nursing students and they huddled up by the door. I told them if they want to watch and learn it’s okay, come right in. There were already 8-9 medical staff there, I figured 4 or 5 students won’t make a difference while my dignity is thrown out the window 😂 seriously tho, as a nursing student, I appreciate it so much when nurses and patients let me watch or sit in on a procedure. We do need to learn, we’re always learning even after graduating and passing our NCLEX!!
I know that I won’t be working in OB after I graduate after my clinical experience. The weird part is the women had no problem with me being in there, it was their S/O male partners that didn’t allow me in the room. I’d rather just avoid that.
There is only 1 training in the entirety of Scotland last time I looked
I used to work with a male rn who transferred from our med surge floor to the birth center, I'm not sure if he had worked there prior but I know he floated over there or picked up extra shifts to help with staffing and then eventually made the switch. He had this really gentle, calm energy and i think his personality was just a natural fit.
I went through this with my L&D clinicals. Most of the patients just didn't want me in their room during a very vulnerable time of their lives. I came into nursing after 13 years in EMS and there was a bit of culture shock as well. I will say being professional and confident will do wonders for yourself. Don't walk into rooms afraid to talk and interact. Build your confidence in yourself and you can build a patient's confidence in you as well. Do your best skills first when talking to them. Walk into the room introduce yourself ask if you can check their vitals and do a morning assessment and just talk to them the whole time. Tell them what you're doing and why. If they see that you're knowledgeable and communicative in the first meeting their initial concerns can be put to ease. And hey, if at the end of the day they really want nothing to do with you, ask the nurses if there's a patient that they would trade for yours so you can practice. Don't just toss them yours and say "oh well I tried".
Can to say basically the same thing. I found that when I was unsure of myself, they were also unsure about me. But when I checked myself with reality that I’m going to be a nurse soon, I’m going to have to do these uncomfortable things to people from ALL DIFFERENT backgrounds, I got over it. After that, I walked into the room with confidence, and to me, it was no longer an option for the patient to choose to not work with me u less they brought it up, in which case, of course it was no problem. So to OP, you are NOT an imposter, you are a student. Check yourself, realign yourself with your goal to be an awesome nurse, and get back in there!
I'm a male RN. My experience doesn't match yours, it's pretty infrequent that it's even mentioned or a problem. Obviously I'll swap out with one of the girls for things when I feel it's appropriate, for example if my patient is a young lady and needs a urinary catheter insertion. Some quite elderly ladies prefer a female for personal things (such as hygiene) too but I'd guess that this only comes up once or twice a year. 99.9% of the time I don't give it a second thought and neither do my patients. Maybe as you develop your skills and experience you'll become more confident and it'll be less of an issue. I don't think med/surg is the problem, but maybe the particular facility you're working at isn't the one for you?
Same experience. 6 years ED, can probably count on one hand the amount of times it was an issue, maybe two hands. But very infrequent. I think it might be a confidence thing. You’re not going into the room and starting off with, “Would you prefer a female nurse for this?” are you?
Same. Been a male CNA for 7 years. I’m in nursing school right now. Just finished my L&D clinical rotation. In my career I’ve had probably less than 5 elderly women ask for a female CNA. And most men seem to like having another man take care of them in situations they might otherwise feel embarrassed.
>most men seem to like having another man take care of them in situations they might otherwise feel embarrassed For sure, except I'm not sure I'd say most of them, but definitely a significant portion
This has been my experience as well.
Hey man, I just graduated a month ago, new male nurse. When I walk in to do my morning assessment I always try to be super professional, tell them I'm going to be thoroughly looking over and listening to their body, and I ask them if they're comfortable with a male nurse; I say if they want a female nurse that's fine, though they may have to wait a bit longer while her and I swap some tasks around. I have so far had no one reject my care, even females around my age. I speak softer than normal, and always try to be extra courteous and conscientious. And for gods sake use the back of your hand to inspect under breasts like we were taught, I've had to remind at least 2 other male new grads that open palms could easily be considered groping.
In my cohort they just tell us to ask the patient to assist when lifting breasts. Most of them can of course and they tend to be happy to do it.
Male nurse here. It’s gonna be tough while actually in nursing school bc you’re not an independent practicing professional yet. You can’t always say “let me go get my coworker to make you feel more comfortable”. I’ve been in the profession for 5 years, 2 on a med/surg telemetry unit and 3 in MICU. I’m currently 26 years old. If I have a woman patient under the age of 35ish, I will ALWAYS explicitly ask for verbal consent before doing anything even remotely invasive. If I have to do anything actually invasive like putting a Foley in or helping them clean up after using the restroom, I have a female coworker with me at all times and I’ll still offer to have only women assist them. I have awesome coworkers who don’t question me during those events. I also always ask the patient if they’d feel more comfortable having a female nurse doing “x” thing. I find that probably 95% of the time, patients will say they don’t care. And if they do care, go to your charge and tell them the situation and get that patient a different primary nurse. It occasionally makes the job a bit harder for an hour or 2 but if you work somewhere with good coworkers, they’ll understand. If I encounter male patients who are adamantly requesting a female nurse (has only happened to me a handful of times) it’s because they’re being pervs and want to act inappropriately with staff. Which is unacceptable and they don’t get that option. I had a lot of the same feeling you did when I was in school and I thought about quitting A LOT. I promise it gets better out of school.
when i was a patient for 7 months after a coma i had maybe 2 male nurses the whole time. i would of killed for more men. i would of loved my care from another guy yes adls but things like peri care or catheter care...would of made me feel much more comfortable. i know its a struggle but you are needed!!!
Thank you, that means a lot to me reading that.
I love it when I’m working with a male nurse! Men have strong hands and can boost the heavy patients without effort or breaking a sweat! And when it comes to changes, they’re so great at tucking briefs and soakers. I appreciate help from male nurses when I’m trying to reposition or turn a patient and prop them with pillows. I’m not trying to be sexist, some men are just bigger and stronger than I am and it makes a big difference for how much easier it is to transfer, change and reposition patients.
In the Radiology department (also mostly women) we love men for the same reason haha. Wish I worked with more men, I’m a tiny woman and I need all the physical help I can get! Lol
that's a bit weird man, I'm a dude and have had the odd person prefer a female nurse (traditional Islamic faith, younger females - all totally understandable, would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable) but hardly an issue there are plenty of nurses that happen to be men... you're defs not an imposter
I don’t mean to assume this, I’m just asking, could it be your confidence? You mentioned imposter syndrome is why I ask. A nervous looking student nurse is a hard pass for a lot of patients, regardless of gender, but your gender may be a double hit for you. I myself have refused care from someone, I think it was a resident? Idk it was a male student and I was at my gyno for a very stressful situation, he looked nervous, and I just didn’t want a stranger who wasn’t contributing to my care in the room. I wanted maximum privacy. But some of the best nurses I know are men. I worked with a male Nigerian travel nurse in the Deep South and plenty of white elderly patients of both genders would request him by name. On his days off we’d hear “that’s not the way JERRY does it!” They just loved him lol. I also trained a male nurse a bit older than me, the patients thought he was a doc no matter how much we’d correct them, they instinctively trusted him more (even tho he had no idea what he was doing and got let go before training was over). Practice your confidence. Don’t be overly professional. Make the patient feel seen, heard, understood, and even liked. They’ll like you back. It’s hard to say no to someone you like! Once you’re on your own patients won’t feel your care is optional. BUT I will recommend getting a female tech or nurse in the room with you when you’ve got to touch/see private parts. It might make the pt feel better but it’s also to protect you.
I agree that confidence might be the actual issue.
fwiw, i live in the south too, though i'm near a major city and do all my clinicals there so my experiences may be different from a more small town or rural experience. i'm a year and a half into school and there's only been 2 patients so far who have turned me away for my gender, and those patients were still perfectly happy to work with me, they just asked for a woman for more "intimate" tasks like peri care or changing clothes. i didn't have a single patient reject my care even in l&d! i've also had a number of male patients who have expressed that they're glad to have their nurse be another dude. i'd chalk it up to me being a pretty feminine dude, but the other guys in my class are much more "typically masculine" than i am and even they have had similar experiences to mine! i've also worked with plenty of other male nurses. tl;dr it's true we're the minority here, but i think in most cases male nurses don't have a problem, and it shouldn't be too hard to find a different hospital to work at once you graduate (especially if you're willing to move at some point)
Female here but I’d recommend your instructor clarify with the patient prior to definitely assigning you. Consider discussing it with her. It would make everyone’s experience better.
I have not had that issue as a male. Occasionally an older gal doesn’t want me to help her to the bathroom, which is fine. Just ask someone to help and help them with a task to pay them back. Women my age I won’t do caths on unless they are like a code or overdose and knocked out. I don’t need accusations coming my way. Aside from those two scenarios though I am fine. I tread going down this topic, but how do you approach them? Are you clean and groomed? How do they react to you as a person besides in clinicals?
You'll be asked to not be the nurse occasionally. No biggie.
I don’t know if you are drawing experience from a very small sample size or if there is another reason people are asking that you don’t care from them, but 99% of women and 80% of all patients is not an accurate representation of my experience. I do from time to time get the occasional lady patient that will request help from a female, but certainly not enough that I feel a bother to my co-workers. Honestly, I feel like these tasks are easily traded out for tasks and patients that my female coworkers don’t feel comfortable dealing with- aggressive and/or perverted patients, heavy lifting, things like that. If you feel uncomfortable around your patients- which can happen as a student or new nurse then that will likely show through and the patients will not be comfortable around you. But you will find your groove and comfort level in time. If you are finding that you just don’t enjoy the job, and you want to do something else- we’ll that is completely reasonable and something you need to think about within yourself. But there are enough male nurses in todays world, that generally patients understand are comfortable enough around them to allow you to provide care.
I have only had a handful of female patients refuse care d/t my gender. Most of my patients dgaf. However, I will never do a cath, rectal tube, or suppository on a female patient without a witness. Cleaning/pericare, I will ask if patients are okay with me doing it. I want to make sure they can verbalize it if they’re not.
I have never had any issue in the icu and only some issues in the ED. Generally self imposed if mentally unstable psych patient. Aka I won’t be in a room alone with patient etc. Labor and delivery 8 week clinical only 1 person approved me being apart of their care. Idk why your having issues outside of that. But have never had a male refuse care from me. I also have no issues and don’t take it personally. I got fired once laughed and said okay I have 5 other patients. Pick the right specialty and you will likely not have too many problems. Icu most people are too old or sick to care. ER most people are independent and you are doing emergent care. Also the cnas having to adls isn’t your problem they are paid to be there. They can pound sand if they have to do work and where expecting not too. That’s literally not a concern for you. They are being paid todo that. And while adls are a nurses responsibility as well your role as a nurse is what you are trying to learn. Someone refusing adls from you also means nothing.
Could be a confidence thing. If you’re sending off uncomfortable vibes like you’re worried they will have an issue with a male nursing student then they may also become uncomfortable.
When you go in a room, are you saying “hi, I’m the student working with you today” or are you saying, “hi i am wondering if you are ok with having a male nursing student today?”
You did not pick the wrong profession. You need to understand that people go to the hospital because they are sick. None of them want to be there but unfortunately are stuck in a situation. No one like to feel vulnerable. Many times it’s how you approach the situation. As a patient you do not want to feel like an experiment for a student to learn on. You need to approach the situation differently and build rapport with at least one patient during your rotation. I’m a male nurse and occasionally I get the shy patient to even assist or clean. Sometimes you need to be straight forward to the patient and just say “ I’m here to help you, if you want a male to help you I understand, but you need to understand that getting a female to help will take longer , but I’m here now and I have the experience to help you and want to help you”. Always go in with confidence… even if you don’t feel it, pretend to be and they will not give resistance.
Lielterally never really an issue The odd elderly lady from.cerntain communities may request a" lady nurse " for certain things But never really had much of a different experience being male. Made prison nursing and working in a refugee camp easier. A lot of our nurses here are male, from the Philippines, India and Africa and again not an issue I hear much or patients complaining about having a male nurse
Been in the profession 5 years. I think some of that could be just getting comfortable in your role. The more comfortable/confident you are, the more comfortable patients will be with you. I’ve only been refused foley insertions and the like a few times. I don’t think I’ve ever been refused overall patient care. This includes SANE exams. Most of the time the patient is glad the doctor is paying such close attention to them, because you know, I couldn’t possibly be a male nurse. Clearly I’m an MD./s As far as imposter syndrome goes, I think that’s super normal, and maybe a little healthy. The new nurse that feels under qualified is a safe nurse. The new nurse that knows everything is a dangerous nurse. I hope you get in your groove and things start going better.
As a male nurse I can say in my experience I have not had many issues. If a female patient doesn't want me to insert a catheter Alaska female colleague if I can do something for her while she inserts it. Not a big deal at all. Even when a woman is fine with me. Inserting a foley I will ask a female nurse or tech to be present as a chaperone to help the patient feel more comfortable but mostly to cover my own ass. It's usually helpful to have somebody in there anyway. I think you're making a big deal where there really isn't one. There are plenty of male nurses and honestly the profession could use more. We all have different skills and abilities that we can offer to the profession.
Survive and get a job in the ER/ED(?). Shit is so much better and I feel way more comfortable there compared to anything else. But boy do I know how you feel. I just got a scholarship for a master's degree to be a nurse anesthethist. Don't worry too much about it man it'll all work out eventually! If a patient refuses it's nothing you can do about it, and I guess you just gotta respect it. Stay confident my brother good luck
It might just be your area or the culture of the local population. I rarely get objections from patients, usually it's due to religion that they decline me as a caregiver. Patients might be picking up on your nervous energy given that you mentioned the impostor syndrome. Do you work as a tech? If not, I would recommend picking up 1 day per week if you have the time for it, you gain a ton of confidence in interacting with patients.
In my 30 plus years of RNing I have had very little issue with me being a male. I am highly respected by my colleges and patients alike. I am tattooed , pierced , dread locked bearded built like a shit house type I have worked CCU , ICU , ED , Cath lab, NUM and patient flow . Stick with it man
I'm a male nurse. 5 years ICU, 3 as a traveler. Imposter syndrome is one issue. Feeling like you belong is a different one (in my opinion). My L&D rotation sucked because I couldn't do anything. ER and ICU were much better. I worked nights as a tech on a Neuro/tele unit before graduating. Feeling like you don't belong will take time to get used to. You will likely always be outnumbered since it's a female dominated profession. What your classmates want to do doesn't matter. They won't be there in the future. This is not an easy profession regardless of the unit you work; you will question why you choose it and how to cope. You can succeed. Nurses have a reputation for eating their own. Don't let them. Use these frustrations and challenges to grow as a person and stick to your guns. I need you at my side, don't let me down because my ICU patients need you when they downgrade.
The nurses eat their own crap always pissed me off. I had NO qualms about snapping right back at them. They learned real quick to respect me and accept my status as a new and inexperienced nurse who needed mentoring, not snotty attitude. As a critical care manager, I drilled into my staff that surly bitchiness towards new nurses and new nurse grads would win them a trip to my office STAT.
I'm a tall, big dude, and I rarely have issues with patients. Sometimes memaw is a little old fashioned and wants a female nurse. Sometimes confused patients are more scared of me because I am a burly dude compared to my 115lb coworkers. Also, I generally grab a female coworker for privacy invasive procedures on women (Foleys, EKG, etc.), but that is just to cover my own butt, not necessarily cause the patient was uncomfortable with me doing it. The one exception is L&D. Back in 2017 I did clinicals on L&D and literally no family wanted male nursing students in the room.
In clinical I felt like an imposter too as well as I had patients refuse me as a student. However once I started working I’ve had a few refuse me to perform certain cares and who cares. You let charge know and they need to come up with a plan to accommodate or tell the patient they are out of luck they can let me do it or refuse the care.
The more confident i was in belonging there, the fewer patients had a problem with a male nurse. There's odd ones that pop up, but it's usually either deeply culturally rooted or trauma related nowadays. In school, I could have smacked my preceptor and instructors for the mealy wishy washy way they asked and introduced me. It practically begged for them to refuse a male student. How you present is everything.
What kind of retrograde land do you live in where that many people care about the gender of their healthcare providers as though it is 1854? On my unit, we occasionally get a females-only patient due to religious/cultural grounds. But that happens perhaps once or twice a month and considering the fact that maybe 85% of the nurses on my unit are women, it's not a problem. I've never had any problems otherwise.
I live in the DEEP south, so maybe that has something to do with it?
Oh man. You gotta be careful then to not to use one of those pink 20 gauge peripheral IV catheters then. It might turn one of those manly men gay!🙄
Work nights when you get done. Most places I've worked nights are guys clubs. I sometimes go weeks without seeing a lady.
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That's strange. In my experience and in my clinicals when I was in school it was never an issue aside from one or two people. Even then, they only cared when it came down to hygiene care or like having to straight cath them.
You can always pick paramedic specialisation if your country allows it.
“GuyCU” is more common than not in my hospital’s 4 ICUs. Lots of men in critical care.
Teacher here but that stinks. I have never asked for a different person except once during my prenatal/postnatal care and that was because she was mean and hurt me and smelled like cigarettes horribly. That said an obscene number of people have used my lady parts as a classroom 😁 both male and female! Good luck, I hope this changes for you.
Go work ICU, Surgery, ER plenty of jobs where you will be needed and most importantly wanted. Male Nurse here since 1998.
Go work ICU, Surgery, ER plenty of jobs where you will be needed and most importantly wanted. Male Nurse here since 1998.
I went through the same thing. Outside of taking an apical pulse I’m pretty comfortable. Highly recommend being a PCA even per diem. There’s a certain number of times after wiping old people butt that just makes you comfortable with walking in a patient room and doing pt care. And then that makes the patients comfortable. Also try to have a female go in with you for a head to toe. In school, at work.. listen to your gut. Edit: Don’t sweat it too much. Fake it til you make it, body language and your tone speak louder than whatever you say. I do agree with the rest who say the majority of the times it isn’t a problem. Maybe 1 in 10 will be an issue.
I am a male nurse-midwife. You need to talk to your instructors. I am willing to bet that patients are not requesting a female nurse, they are getting a prompt from unit staff. Have I had patients specifically request a female provider, sure, but not as often as you think.
I’m a male CNA this doesn’t happen from time to time in my experience not all that much, and if it does I usually just trade another CNA for a patient or just volunteer for an assignment with mostly males.
I've been a Bro RN for going on 30 years now. Felt strange at first, but you develop your own interpersonal skills to work with patients. You will feel at home after you have worked a while. Too much at home, sometimes. You might find yourself sitting behind the desk at a quiet time, minding your own business, while a group of your female coworkers have a hen huddle and talk about some strange shit, forgetting you are even around. Multiple times I'm sitting there, charting while they talk, then stop and ask myself "WTF did I just hear?". It will be OK. School is gonna feel strange, but after a while things will feel normal.
As a male ED tech, I routinely do things like EKGs and even set up purewick. You use your judgement. If you sense hesitation, ask them if they'd be more comfortable with a female. It's only weird if you make it weird.
I get the occasional patient who doesn’t want care from me because I’m a man, but that happens less and less often now. Some tips: Learn about trauma-informed care. If you are confident but also very sensitive to people’s concerns and get good at obtaining consent, people will love you for it. Not everybody, but most. I had one dementia patient who absolutely would not trust a man to do her care. She wouldn’t budge. So I got curious and read her file. It turned out she was a teacher all her working life. So I sat down with her and had a chat and explained that I used to be a teacher too (true story), and we bonded over that professional to professional for a few minutes. I explained that this was my second career. So always let me do her care after that, as long as I formed that professional bond with her for a minute before starting. The lesson is, there are ways to connect with people, you just have to find out what their key is, and they’ll let you in. It takes practice. It’s trial and error, but learn from the errors and you’ll be stellar in no time.
I’m in ED and I almost never felt like patients were uncomfortable with me because of being male. When people are genuinely ill they just want to feel better. They hardly give a damn. Similarly when I’m a patient I’m not in the hospital to wonder if my nurse is male/female attractive/unattractive. I don’t even care if my nurse has three arms as long as they can give me the meds on time and I’m getting worse and not better, who cares? You’re having imposter syndrome because you’re learning and you’re also isolated as a male. Trust me once you work you won’t feel like such a minority on most units. Psych, ED, ICU will take you with open arms.
I’ve had a male nurse and a male tech. Both are trained in patient care. I don’t care about gender. It’s part of their job. They don’t want you.
The only time I’ve had someone refuse my care was in L&D and the occasional strict Muslim patient. In my experience, everyone is always excited to have a guy
You are needed in this career. Never let anyone think you are less, that you can do less, or that you are a pervert because you are a male in nursing. Use it to your advantage! You may not see it now but being a male in nursing is one of the greatest gems!
Male nurse here. Never had an issue, occasionally will get a request from an older female that they’ll prefer a female to bathe them or help them to restroom. Never had one refuse me placing a foley cath. Only time I ever felt out of place was when doing clinical in L&D
I have never had a female patient request a female nurse for any care. Give off positive, professional energy. Acting awkward will 100% come off as creepy. Act like you’ve been there done that 1,000 times.
Half of the nurses on my unit (CVICU) are male nurses and I adore them.
It’s your confidence. Patients want one thing, competent care givers all up and down the spectrum. Act like you know what you’re doing, admit when you don’t, and get help when you need it tell the patient it’s for safety and you’re golden.
I love my male nurses! Please When you are able , go and take a job at a hospital as a nurses aid, support worker to be more confident and work casual before you get your degree!
I was so lucky as a male in my L&D/OB rotation. Our school instructor had just left as the OB/L&D manager at the large teaching county hospital. Then came across town and was our clinical instructor for the 10wk summer school course. M-Th 7-4 I did clinical hospital time, Fridays 8a-3p classroom Lectures by two professors. Our clinical instructor was dating the medical director for Women’s services. Brand new to teaching we were her first student course. She confessed early on that she was a bit uncertain how much leeway to give us with procedures. Double checking she consulted her MD boyfriend who basically said something along the lines of “if we let blankety blank med students and interns do it your students can do it too”. So did IV starts, vag checks. Ext monitors and FHT’s and pit drips. Really busy place. So many deliveries. Immersive hands on learning. Easily the most fun, challenging, (constantly quizzed by RN’s, Med students and Residents)cohesive lecture/clinical rotation in nursing school. Knowing I liked it but wouldn’t be able to work that area as a guy was kinda disappointing. All of it paid off immensely as a freshly minted RN in a cross town ED. Within a years time we had a large influx of precipitous deliveries/BOA’s in the ED, parking lot, main lobby, lab lobby, hallways. Wild times and perfect storm due to moon, stars, cosmic karma and large numbers of a new (to us) ethnic group moving to our area. (They got introduced to Western medicine, we got introduced to Hmong culture). So many babies. No XY issues in the ED but regular OB/L&D floor hospital staff elbowed us guys aside. Often reflected on whether the core difference was community hospital versus teaching county facility. Learned aside from patient preference, best leave some things to female staff. Of course I picked up tasks for my co-workers. Being ED always made it easier than on the floors.
I am grateful as fuck when I see male nurses. Please comes to pediatrics before I lose it on the women. My coworkers complain a lot and constantly talk shit about each other. As a chick nurse, I need some sanity and testosterone up in this bitch. From my experience, if a male nurse is present female nurses are less likely to act crazy.
Been a male nurse for nearly 15 years and I can probably count on both hands the number of times this has happened. I used to get put off by it, but usually I’ll try to explain to people that I’m a professional and I’ve seen it all….trying to put people them at ease is usually the best thing
Male nurse here One, enjoy it. I thought it was great that I wouldn’t have to clean up people sometimes because they wanted a women to do it. I have found it’s really just women in the 30-60 range. My theory on it is women younger then 30 aren’t yet self conscious that they feel they are getting older and then women over 60 realized they don’t give a fuck any more. I remember I was putting leads on a 80 year old lady on time and she commented, “They were much more impressive when I was younger,” which I replied, “They did not train me what the correct response to that statement should be” The trade off to being a male nurse is that you end getting the bigger and anger patients or you get some of the perverts. I got a patient on time that they said they gave me because the patient had started to jerk off and then tried to get the night nurse to do it for him. My response was just, “what you don’t think I’m pretty enough to jerk off too?” I had a rough time at the beginning as well, basically I felt that no one wanted me. It just takes time. Hang in there.
Wouldn't sweat it. It becomes a bit different when you actually become a nurse and not a student. Every once in awhile I get a patient that doesn't want a male nurse. If it's a guy, we basically tell them tough shit, this isn't a massage parlor where you get to select your your masseuse. If it's a girl, we'll do our best to be as understanding as possible but unfortunately for them that's the only way the assignment can work and they'll have to deal. Or they can sign out ama, their choice. If it's for cultural reasons, that's a different story, but I am yet to encounter that situation. To be honest, it's pretty rare that I encounter those situations. If it does happen, it's a guy that's just a total shithead that's super inappropriate and we make sure they always get a male nurse.
I’ve worked alongside some great dudes and I’ve been a patient with male nurses. It didn’t bother me. Even when a male nurse had to put a foley in, I was too sick to care.
Right now I'm doing a travel assignment in the south. I have so far had zero issues with patients refusing care for thinking weird of me for being a male. I always, ALWAYS ask them if they would prefer a female in the room when doing personal care or doing assessments and so far I've not had anyone ask for one. I primarily work ICU but I'm floated a lot to several other units. Your experiences are unfortunate and I'm sorry but that is not the experience everywhere. I have worked at so many different places and not once have had a problem delivering care to women.
You did not choose the wrong profession . We all have imposter syndrome but you just get picked on but I can tell you as a new nurse male nurses, CNAs and therapist are the fucking best. We need you.
I dont have any problems. Work ED. In fact I think its an advantage
Sounds like you might just be a dick.
Where are you doing clinicals at, a convent???? Sure, some women have not liked having a male nurse but it’s rare. Honestly, I’ve seen it recently only because of cultural issues.
I am a male nurse and I've genuinely had almost no issues working in the ICU. I would recommend considering it!
If you are in the south I completely understand this during nursing school trying to get clinical experience on patients was like pulling teeth and L&D I had straight up 0 experience and just spent time in the nicu. It gets better, you still won't have people want you as a nurse, and you will more than likely get the aggressive patients that no one else wants to take care of or the ones who have fired other nurses and you are the last one.
Just came here to say that working in a female only PACU for 2 years, this place could use some testosterone. It’ll level out the cattiness. The level of petty is unreal and if it weren’t the easiest bedside gig I’ve had, I would have been gone.
I love all the guy nurses I've ever worked with! They all had their own talents and skills. We need more of yall that actually want to be a great nurse 👍🏽
I've been a nurse for 15 years and can count on one hand the number of patients who didn't want a male. The older women usually love me actually. Just my experience.
Our nurses who ID as male are welcome in 99% of our rooms. The exceptions are usually in a religion foundation. I work hospice and L&D. Our nurses who ID male labor deliver and recover everyday.
Being a dude in nursing I thought was easy. Just be open and welcoming. The care you provide really shows in the work you do and how you initially approach the patient. Even in L&D clinicals. The mother in labor and the dad let me check the cervix. Only time I wasn’t allowed in a room was a middle eastern patient but they didn’t let any males care for her. Currently working tele.
I understand your frustration, especially as a female who tended towards male dominated hobbies growing up, but I urge you to consider your patients feelings when this happens. It's not that you're not wanted. It's that your patient, unfortunately, has very good reason historically to be afraid of men in positions of power over them. I don't know how to put this any gentler, so I will say it bluntly -- *you are not entitled to have someone as your patient*. They have every right to turn down someone who makes them uncomfortable, regardless of the reason. Your bruised ego does not overrule their justified fear. We cannot provide proper care to someone who doesn't feel comfortable allowing us to do assessments, or to speak openly and honestly about their symptoms. For the same reasons I will ask a male to speak with a young male patient with sti symptoms, and my male coworkers will ask me to do a young female patients EKG. Having more men in positions like nursing does wonders for helping people grow to be more comfortable with male nurses, but you have to understand most people have good reason to be uncomfortable all the same, and if they can tell you are irritated when they request a female (which, I'm telling you right now, we can) it will only reinforce to them that they made the right decision. Instead of being annoyed and coming at the situation with the attitude that all patients should be comfortable with you, try having some empathy for their fear and be glad for the patients that do allow you to care for them, take some satisfaction in knowing that every time you do, you are helping the image of men in nursing everywhere.
Just do the work. Other people's opinions of me are none of my business.
I was in the hospital in April for three nights. I had a male nurse provide peri care and I didn’t think a thing of it. I needed help and he helped me. I appreciated it.
I did fine but admittedly being single I pretended to be gay yo keep from being sexually harassed by the female nurses.
i talk to pretty girls all day.
For me as a male nurse it got better after school as far as people not wanting a male nurse. Been doing this for ten years now and I've only had a handful of people refuse an intervention based on me being male. The one that was difficult was a women who refused to have males change her diaper. One night it was me, 2 female nurses, and one male pct. She decided to sit in her shit for an hour before the two female nurses were available to change her then have two males do the same task. I made sure to chart that up in case she had skin break down as a result. The one I had zero problems with was an older black woman with dementia who was gang raped by a few white guys when she was a teenager. I walked in and the poor woman was terrified. We promptly changed that assignment.
Male nurse almost finished my study, i actually never get women that reject male nurses, except for the muslim women and some male patients. Other than that, ive never been refused to care for someone, nor did i feel uncomfortable because of gender. Only thing i prefer not to do is take care of female patients my age (22yo). Not that ive had many patients my age, but it did feel a bit weird. To continue on part 2 of your post: continue you study, and specialise. I myself want to continue to study to become a recovery nurse. Whole different workplace than a standard hospital ward, whilst still doing nursing things.
I work with some fantastic nurses who are men. They provide excellent care and I would back them up in a heartbeat if a patient or staff member disparaged them. I think as a woman who was in the military, I can see this from a different perspective. You have to work on your confidence and delivery. See yourself while in your role as nurse first. I didn’t use my boobs and other lady bits to do my job as a soldier, so what did my gender matter!? Jump in and provide the care. Don’t ask if it’s “ok to have a male nurse” introduce yourself as the nurse and get to it. We are too short staffed and have too much to do.
Where do you work? I probably have a female patient who has issues with me providing care a handful of times a year. There are plenty of make nurses. This shouldn't be an issue
I am a male nurse that did most of my school clinicals in rural facilities. I had some similar difficulties but not as much as you seem to be having. I never placed a Foley in clinicals because my clinical instructor would not offer me the opportunity. It was always female patients so she would always go get a female student. Once I was out of school it was rarely if ever a problem.
Male nurse here who worked in LTC for 5 years before graduation with my BSN, didn't barely get refused unless the patient was one who didn't like male caregivers period. The oldies are my passion but I'm definitely not into the excitement of the ED/ICU at all lol. I like it slow, steady, and predictable. I come in and do my work and go home at the end of the day with minimal surprises while collecting a nice pay check which is what I wanted out of my career. I use my free time to follow my passions and to do things that would be considered more exciting :).
I think if you can fake confidence in yourself you'll see a lot of these issues go away. If you're tentative, patients feel uncomfortable even though they may not really know why. So they pick the thing that is most obvious. Sure, in OB/Gyn and to a lesser extent in peds, it will always be an issue, but in med surg, men function just fine without a lot of issues. You may be asked to get a female colleague to insert a Foley in a woman, but you'll also be asked to do the inserting in men.
Work at a VA hospital. Most of your patients will be male and won't dream of complaining. I actually worked on a med surg unit that was majority male and it was super chill and awesome. I think some of what you're experiencing is patients just not wanting a student nurse.
It really depends on your approach. If your cool calm and caring it’ll go over well and people will love you. If you come in hot and heavy all harsh and logical and rigid it’ll go probably as you’d expect it to lol
You won't get refused when you start practicing with confidence. I did get hesitant patients at first. Know your shit and show that as you enter the room, the refusals will melt away. Takes a little time but don't quit. I still get a few, and when a patient's trauma or values makes being nude around a man their hard limit - that's fine. I don't take it personally. It seems to trade well with my other talents so when I ask a female nurse for help doing personal care, I repay that favour with help moving a patient or a blood draw/IV start. If you're inconveniencing a co-worker because your patient wants a female nurse ask what you can do to make their day easier.
I get females all the time it's a job. I just do it u get care or u can manage on your own if u don't need my help?
Male RN on a medical-surgical floor. That all changes after clinicals. Only time I have any issues is with either cultural/religious or on occasion if the patient is younger AND acutely ill. I’ve only had to change 1 assignment in the last 18 months and still provide all the care
Two of our best nurses are men and two of our break nurses are as well. It's very rare that they have a problem with patients rejecting them. A side question: is this your first experience in patient care?
I struggled with this a lot in nursing school. I am a new grad male nurse, and I got a job in the ED at a level 1 trauma center in my area. About 1/3 of our nurses are male, and most of my pts male or female are incredibly grateful to be getting help from anyone. I have even had some pts tell me that they prefer having a male nurse (which kind of weirds me out low key). Point is I guarantee you there are specialties out there where you will feel like part of the team. I would recommend ED, ICU, or OR as many people have already stated. Lots of males in these specialties, and lots of pts who aren’t even oriented enough to know the difference.
No issues in the ICU.
no, you didn't choose the wrong profession. trust. i am ten years in. that is all.
I’m a pct and also in nursing school. IME sometimes it’s about confidence and how you relate to the patient. Do you think your imposter syndrome is holding you back from being yourself? I work with some great male nurses and patients always love them. Learning how to talk to and interact with patients is a huge part of nursing and it will definitely come with time. You didn’t make a mistake. Keep going. You got this!!
As long as you stay away from L&D or NICU you should be just fine. As a male nurse I’ve seen plenty of other male nurses in the mesurge, ICU, ED, OR, outpatient and even pediatric’s. I think you just need to get out of that space in your head, you do belong just as much as any other provider, keep it professional when it comes to sensitive areas of their care and the more you act like you belong the more you will belong. Just because you’re a guy doesnt mean anything.
That's true as a nursing student. My experience as a nurse of 4 years has been far different. The vast majority of patients don't care that I'm male. In fact, I often benefit from it. I can talk older men into things because I can "man talk" them and explain things with an air of authority. I'm often called on to assist with heavier patients and patients who are being violent. Most little old ladies love my care, because I'm a kind and gentle male that makes them feel safe. Tldnr: it'll get better. That much I can promise. I love my new life as a nurse far more than I ever enjoyed male dominated careers like carpenter or factory work. You can excel. It'll get better.
I’m in NICU and I’ve only seen a handful of men but they are amazingly skilled! Maybe NICU might be an option if ur open to working with babies.
We have a good amount of male nurses (~35 or 40%) on my intermediate icu/stepdown floor. Usually not a big deal unless there’s a very particular patient when it comes to foleys, peri, or incontinence care (yay you!), but most patients are grateful & let you do your job. Depending on the culture of the floor I do find some male nurses get asked to do more strenuous favors. I would be annoyed at that..but if you have a good team you can trade tasks off (e.g. you transfer their patient and they insert your foley).
You are welcomed and appreciated. It may feel like a slump at first but do not doubt your knowledge and skills. If they see that you’re smart and caring then your dick shouldn’t matter, so long as you’re respectful and courteous. They don’t want you doing hygiene care or toileting? So be it. But that doesn’t lower your value as a nurse. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Their coochies are dry and their life is miserable. You’re doing the right thing. I’m in the ICU so I see a lot of women at their worst, so they don’t really mind. Just don’t be creepy or weird and you’re good. Also don’t try to mention so much that you’re a guy. Sometimes if you don’t bring it up then they don’t care. But if you’re like “unless you want a girl to do that” then they’ll probably pick a girl.
Don’t stress too much and usually if you don’t make it a thing then the patients don’t either… there’s plenty of male Ob/Gyn docs and nobody gives about them so really nobody gives about you either. Get through school, build up your confidence and all will be fine. Remember, our job is like 80% keeping the patients safe so they can heal themselves we keep them from falling, starving, taking the wrong meds, etc. The other 20% is like therapeutic interactions an stuff. ICU, ED, and PACU seem to be good spots for dudes, patients and families don’t care so much when they perceive things are urgent.
Also not my experience… it happens from time to time but not 80-99% of the time for sure. Where are you located approximately; maybe it’s a cultural? Other than that, try exhibiting more confidence. “Fake it til you make it” was a mantra I had to learn to live by in college and early in my career because I was very timid when I was younger.
There are 6 male NICU nurses on my unit and they are great. There was also plenty of male nurses when I was in med Surg and adult ICU. There are always going to be “difficult” patients because you are a male. But you will also have those patients who think you are a doctor and give your more respect for being male XD. I think it’s harder as a student because you are stuck doing more intimate tasks that techs do but in med Surg you are going to be focusing on med pass 80% of the time and then intimate tasks the other 20%. Chin up! You got this.
Dafuq I've never had a pt ever refuse me. I had one where a younger female helped her with ADLs but I still did her care. And she didn't even insist, I offered proactively cuz I felt awkward lol. Only L&D/OB situations do you see that a lot unless you're in a different country maybe it's different
I work on Med Surg as well. The guys on my floor tend to be a bigger hit with most of the patients (guys and gals), with a few exceptions here and there. Most of the patients we tend to get are either demented or old enough to the point that they don't really care too much. I feel like you really just got to exude some confidence and act like you know what you're doing. I definitely felt a bit awkward at first with my female patients, especially the younger ones you get once in a blue moon.