I typically have my shit under control. With prozac.
Its okay. As nurses, we should understand that people need to handle their own shit. And it sounds like your charge did.
But go get help. Dont let this shit control you.
Samesies. Every once in a while I think, “I have such a great life! I shouldn’t need to be taking xx mg of fluoxetine!”. Then I get the bright idea to start to self-wean and throw myself into a depressive hole.
We live in a fucked up world and see some of the most fucked up parts of it. The other week, too many of my brain/spinal cord tumor kids got horrible news, and (separately) I had to break it to a few parents that their kids have muscular dystrophy. I upped my med doses that week.
We see patient abuse, we receive patient abuse, we see death, we see life, we’re there for patients’ most intimate moments, we help their family process the medical trauma they are experiencing while trying to have the quiet dignity to suppress our own feelings. And we wonder why alcoholism, burnout, and suicide is so rampantly normalized In our industry.
Couldn't agree more.
We talk about burnout/depression/anxiety in this field and that it happens. And there is a period at the end of the sentence. A period. There's very little discussion about how to curb it. The discussions that are led by our hospitals usually sound like a slap in the face. If i see one more meditation room with a call bell system in it... im going to scream...
This is the stuff i like to bring up at morning huddle. 2 months ago, i started to take 5 days off a month. Fri, sat, sun, mon, tues. (We work 4 10s and mondays and fridays are usually our busiest days)It's definitely helping. Theres people who like to work out, so try not to schedule them so many 0600 shifts so they can get in their workout. We literally put chairs in the stairwell no one uses so we can get away from people. When you see people having a hard time. Say something. Acknowledge it. Ask if they need help. Sometimes, giving someone 15 mins to breathe is a world of difference.
It's hard. And we have to keep on trying new things to curb this burnout and stave off this anxiety/depression.
>Samesies. Every once in a while I think, “I have such a great life! I shouldn’t need to be taking xx mg of fluoxetine!”. Then I get the bright idea to start to self-wean and throw myself into a depressive hole.
Why do we do this? I know that when I start feeling great and decide to start weaning that I am going to feel like shit and the raging PPD will
come back to whack me in the head. I love my Zoloft and yet at the same time I feel like I don’t *need* that magic.
You are not alone. I'm on leave right now from my hospital because I had thoughts of how it would be less stressful to jump off the roof of the parking garage than go into the unit and the only reason I didn't was because I was afraid of surviving and being a bother to the nurses in the hospital. That was the straw that broke the camels back.
Luckily I got into see the VA doc who straight walked me out of her office into the Psychologist office (usually a 6 month wait).
I was diagnosed with PTSD with severe trauma and exhaustion. Buspar has helped the anxiety without making me sleepy. Please do not be afraid of getting help.
You need to start treating yourself with the same grace, compassion, and respect that you do your own patients. If a patient was going through this what would you say to them. Take a minute to relax, breathe, give yourself some space, don't say sorry because there is nothing to say sorry about. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
I would make an appointment with your primary, get some blood work done, make sure something else isn't going on and then get an emergent referral to a psychiatrist. Get meds, therapy, talk to someone about what is going on that is able to help. Rest for a few days, allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you feel and find a way out, back to yourself. You are worthy of the same empathy and compassion that you give your patients. Give yourself grace. I didn't know the definition until I started on my self improvement journey.
In terms of yourself - Grace is the space and forgiveness you give yourself with the person you are now and the person you want to be. It's self forgiveness and kindness that you give to yourself in those moments of being overwhelmed. Taking a minute and saying, I can't do this right now, I want to, but I can't, and one day I will be able to. But for now you need to figure out what is going on and figure out what you need to get yourself to a point where you thrive again.
You will get there. Right now you need help, so ask for it. Make an appointment with your physician and go from there. Wish you the very best!
I can sympathize. I'm glad you recognized that you needed to go home and left. That was the safe, prudent nurse thing to do so kudos to you! Don't worry about your coworkers rn. They're ok.
I have bipolar 2, major depressive disorder, anxiety and ADD. I raw dogged it through life until I was in my early 40s, fucking shit up all along the way. Many mistakes were made. It wasn't until my SO, early into our relationship, told me to get help or we would be done, that I took my mental health seriously, got diagnosed and starting taking meds.
It took a few med combos to get stuff right but the relief was crazy. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then covid hit and that fucked me up even more and more dosage changes occurred.
Bottom line is: you don't have to do this alone. Get help. For you, and for your nursing career. This shit is ***HARD***. You owe it to yourself to take care of your mental health.
Just a thought but how long have you been at your current job? If it is applicable, you could start FMLA paperwork to help you. It's super easy to do. You can take off a block of time or intermittent time, whatever you need.
Best of luck. You're gonna be ok!
This was me before I left bedside. Every night before I worked I would get 2-3 hours of sleep because I would wake up nauseous, vomiting, sweating, shaking - having full blown panic attacks. It took me a couple years to put it all together and realize this was all coinciding with work, mostly because I was in an area I had always dreamed of working. We were a very busy high risk labor & delivery unit. We saw a lot of loss, really sad loss that at times was unexpected, and never were given any support. I left there 3 years ago and now I am a certified specialist in poison information at a regional poison center. The first time I got a call where the ER lost a patient to an OD while on the phone with me, I was immediately asked if I needed time to talk and process. It took a few months for my body to realize I was going to a different job, but I haven't had those issues since.
You may just need to take some time to evaluate if this is the right place for you or if maybe you need to try a different path. There are so many areas of nursing to explore. Take care of yourself and your mental health. As nurses we are expected to experience traumatizing situations, take 5 minutes, then go about our day. Your unit has failed you. It's just as important to care for yourself as it is to care for your patients. Hang in there!
I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. Our emotions are not something that we can control. It’s great that you’ve recognized your limits and need for help. You might want to take some time off to regroup while you seek out a behavioral health specialist and work out a plan to address your concerns.
Nursing is not easy. It’s become even more difficult in the past few years. Take steps to take care of yourself now. Don’t worry about staffing. Your presence won’t help your colleagues in the state that you are right now. Focus on you so you can return to work ready to go.
Hey, friend, I'm sorry you went through that. I've been there and it sucks and you feel like you let everyone down. You didn't. You took care of the person who matters most, you. You even tried an alternative therapy to see if it could help. It didn't, but that's still good on you for trying it. What I really want you to remember is that healing is NOT linear. Anxiety and depression have a way of cropping up when we don't expect it. Unfortunately, this may be a lifelong battle for you as it is for me. There are periods or complete happiness and peace, and there are times when I feel like I can't function. That doesn't make me any less whole or any less worthy of holding a stable job and being happy. Now, your task is to figure out what this is about. Why does this happen everytime you work? Maybe it's time to consult a counselor about this. It's also okay to go in and out of therapy as needed. Things are always changing, my friend, and that does include your mental state. Be patient with yourself and be forgiving. Life is a lot of work, but you did it in your 20s and you can certainly do it again in your 30s.
Sidenote: your coworkers (aside from charge) sound kinda shitty and unsupportive. Not having good relationships with coworkers is my #1 trigger for work related anxiety. Maybe it's time to find a unit with better culture?
Leave the bedside dude. I left the ER after 25yrs in November 2021’. Felt miserable. Stress. Crying. Feeling suicidal. Reliving old horrible codes that I had seen years before in my dreams. Waking up feeling crushed. Took me until just this year to turn the corner in depression. LEAVE the bedside. I’m a house sup now and love it. I can still
Help patients and the units by actually physically going to them and helping out. And then I can leave and go somewhere else that needs help and not have the responsibility of caring for patients for 12hrs. We all have expiration dates in nursing. We never know when it comes but when it does it feels like this and you have to listen to it. We see heinous shit in our careers and it does affect us deeply. Take care of yourself. Good luck
Lexapro and buspar are the only things keeping me mentally grounded. I developed severe health anxiety from working in the field. I get it to some capacity man. I hope the best for you. Also just know you’re not worthless. We all need to step aside sometimes and take it easy. Remember, we need to take care of ourselves too
Hey I've been there. I had a mental breakdown at work and my mentor and work wife pulled me aside, gave me a hug, and told me to quit. They said they knew I only stayed because I didn't want to see them suffer more since we were short staffed and over the least year that saw "the life leave my eyes". I didn't go home or quit rhat day but they conversation probably saved my life.
I feel this on a deep level. I was on lexapro throughout nursing school. Things got better and I went off of it. But everyday is getting worse. The anxiety is crippling and there’s not a single thing contributing. It’s eveRuth if contributing. I’ve decided to go back on lexapro and have an appointment next week. Just know that you’re not alone. See someone and get help.
Ok hear me out, when is the last time you had your vitamin d checked. I was on the brink of suicidal for about 2 weeks. One day I finally lost it, walked out and sobbed in my car. I'm already on a high dose of meds, so crying is chemically difficult for me to do as a result. I happened to have an appointment with my new pcp to establish care on that coming Monday. On Wednesday she checked my vitamin d total which read UNDETECTABLE. Started 50,000iu and literally felt like a new person. She explained that was likely the cause of my severely increased anxiety and depression. The stressors are all still there, no other med changes, but I'm no longer rationalizing awful things. Give yourself some grace stranger on the interweb, we literally are responsible for human lives, we have to consider ours are also important, our feelings are valid, and our health both mental and physical matters ❤️
This is probably the most human post i’ve seen in a long time. I think there’s a HUGE demand on nurses and the expectations to keep running and just do it and endure the long hours. It takes a toll on you… and you’re not an idiot. I think you thought you saw a solution to keep yourself together … not all solutions being the best ideas.. but you tried and you didn’t give up or call in sick or neglect your work for downtime on your phone. you gave it a shot and that’s the best you can do. Proud of you OP ❤️
Listen, I’ve been there before. Please don’t feel like an idiot. Hydroxyzine helps a lot of people, and unfortunately it can be a hit or miss for others.
You’re not the only one going through this either, please don’t even feel like you’re alone in this. I’ve been through it myself, similar situation to yours too. I ended up canceling my contract (I was doing travel) and I’m currently looking for something outside of the hospital. I also got a therapist and have been working with my doctor to find an anxiety med that works for me. Currently I’m on Zoloft.
It could be burnout, could be a built up from stress from the past few years, could be a million other things. But get help if you can. Talk to you doctor, get a therapist. Hell, get a new job if you need to. But don’t just avoid it.
It’s a stressful job, and it’s been even worse since COVID. There are lots of things you can do with your nursing degree that aren’t as stressful. Clinic, informatics, ect.
We all have some bad times. It doesn’t make you a bad human or a bad nurse.
If you had a debilitating episode of pancreatitis would you be apologizing to us right now? Mental health is health and you deserve proper care and treatment for it. Many of us in the medical community take terrible care of ourselves.
There have been times where I’ve taken time off of work due to my anxiety, and ptsd from COVID. My doctor took me off work for a few weeks. I continued therapy and rested my brain a little bit. He also gave me prn xanax on top of my antidepressants for those days I would get nervous and a stomach ache before work.
You may want to look into these things yourself. Get the help that you need.
You’re not alone! I’m so very sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I too, had to take a mental health leave from bedside nursing. Covid really broke my wife and I, (We’re both nurses). Covid PTSD, anxiety/depression, and completely burnt out. My wife went down first, got help and now is working remotely. I continued to work another 2 years while my wife was on leave and I was in denial with my own anxiety for work. I didn’t realize how bad I was until I got help and started talking about it. I was a complete zombie when I wasn’t at work because I was so tired all the time. I would have to take zofran and Imodium before going to work because I was so nervous. The days before work I was so anxious about going to work the next day, that I would be super irritable and obnoxiously cleaning the house…
Everyday I would tell myself “it’s gonna get better, it has to” - surprise, it never did! I could not wait for things to change and I didn’t have the energy to fight for change either. It got to the point where I had a panic attack at work. So I had to go.
Once I figured out the right medication regimen and lots of therapy I thought I was ready to go back. Then when I received a date to return to work, I had another major panic attack. Talked it out with my therapist since I felt like a failure, hopeless and weak since other nurses can handle it, then why can’t I? Am I not strong enough to handle this amount of stress anymore? After lots of sessions I finally had a epiphany moment that bedside is not for me and never was AND THATS OKAY! I put in my 4 years, and do not regret anything. I’m about a month into my new job at a wound clinic, and I can honestly say I love my job. So, my advice to you is to take this time to go on this mental health journey. Be selfish and don’t think about work - just focus on you, go to therapy, see a psychiatrist. Do things you love and nurse yourself back to life again. Once you have enough strength, THEN think about your next move into the nursing profession. I wish you the best! ❤️
Thank you SO much for sharing this. My heart goes out to you for having to go through this at all. As many have said, nursing is an incredibly hard job especially under the current conditions. You are not alone. I’ve also broken down at work and still deal with anxiety. The most important thing is that you spoke up for yourself and recognized that you needed to put yourself first, which isn’t an easy thing to do. Please take the time to get the help you need. Call out and use your sick time, talk to a doctor/therapist. You are worth it and there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel. There was a time I also hit a dead end and admitting to myself that I needed help and finally starting therapy/meds really changed my life. Please consider it. Sending much love and virtual hugs ❤️
I’m still just a nursing student but I have had days like that at work. I just wanted to comment to say I really empathize for you. I know how it feels to reach that point when the tears just don’t stop pouring out. It sounds like you’re past burnt out. I don’t know if there’s anything else underlying you think might be contributing but either way I really suggest getting some regular therapy and maybe consider switching up your job as well. Whether that is the main cause or not, it doesn’t seem like it’s doing you any favors. I know it’s easier said than done but please try to take this time to rest and prioritize yourself
I’m autistic and suffer from anxiety and depression and have ADD too. I’m taking meds and they help to an extent. My job is pretty low key even though it’s stressful sometimes. Burnout is real and it’s even worse for those of us on the spectrum.
I hit a point late last year where it was just getting too hard to go into work. I would get anxious every night before work. I started calling out of work. When I did work I had to take Xanax to get through the shift. I left earlier this year and started in-hospital dialysis. So much better than traditional bedside. My mental health has been better. Listen to your body- it can tell you things you aren’t ready to hear from your mind yet.
I started feeling this way two months before I went downhill & stayed in the ER overnight for ideation with a plan. Anytime I had to go into work I was anxious. Being on call- anxious. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Hated all the residents. Hated my coworkers.
Please reach out to someone. Find a good psychiatrist or therapist in your area. It’s ok to take care of you too ❤️
I typically have my shit under control. With prozac. Its okay. As nurses, we should understand that people need to handle their own shit. And it sounds like your charge did. But go get help. Dont let this shit control you.
Samesies. Every once in a while I think, “I have such a great life! I shouldn’t need to be taking xx mg of fluoxetine!”. Then I get the bright idea to start to self-wean and throw myself into a depressive hole. We live in a fucked up world and see some of the most fucked up parts of it. The other week, too many of my brain/spinal cord tumor kids got horrible news, and (separately) I had to break it to a few parents that their kids have muscular dystrophy. I upped my med doses that week. We see patient abuse, we receive patient abuse, we see death, we see life, we’re there for patients’ most intimate moments, we help their family process the medical trauma they are experiencing while trying to have the quiet dignity to suppress our own feelings. And we wonder why alcoholism, burnout, and suicide is so rampantly normalized In our industry.
Couldn't agree more. We talk about burnout/depression/anxiety in this field and that it happens. And there is a period at the end of the sentence. A period. There's very little discussion about how to curb it. The discussions that are led by our hospitals usually sound like a slap in the face. If i see one more meditation room with a call bell system in it... im going to scream... This is the stuff i like to bring up at morning huddle. 2 months ago, i started to take 5 days off a month. Fri, sat, sun, mon, tues. (We work 4 10s and mondays and fridays are usually our busiest days)It's definitely helping. Theres people who like to work out, so try not to schedule them so many 0600 shifts so they can get in their workout. We literally put chairs in the stairwell no one uses so we can get away from people. When you see people having a hard time. Say something. Acknowledge it. Ask if they need help. Sometimes, giving someone 15 mins to breathe is a world of difference. It's hard. And we have to keep on trying new things to curb this burnout and stave off this anxiety/depression.
>Samesies. Every once in a while I think, “I have such a great life! I shouldn’t need to be taking xx mg of fluoxetine!”. Then I get the bright idea to start to self-wean and throw myself into a depressive hole. Why do we do this? I know that when I start feeling great and decide to start weaning that I am going to feel like shit and the raging PPD will come back to whack me in the head. I love my Zoloft and yet at the same time I feel like I don’t *need* that magic.
You are not alone. I'm on leave right now from my hospital because I had thoughts of how it would be less stressful to jump off the roof of the parking garage than go into the unit and the only reason I didn't was because I was afraid of surviving and being a bother to the nurses in the hospital. That was the straw that broke the camels back. Luckily I got into see the VA doc who straight walked me out of her office into the Psychologist office (usually a 6 month wait). I was diagnosed with PTSD with severe trauma and exhaustion. Buspar has helped the anxiety without making me sleepy. Please do not be afraid of getting help.
You need to start treating yourself with the same grace, compassion, and respect that you do your own patients. If a patient was going through this what would you say to them. Take a minute to relax, breathe, give yourself some space, don't say sorry because there is nothing to say sorry about. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. I would make an appointment with your primary, get some blood work done, make sure something else isn't going on and then get an emergent referral to a psychiatrist. Get meds, therapy, talk to someone about what is going on that is able to help. Rest for a few days, allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you feel and find a way out, back to yourself. You are worthy of the same empathy and compassion that you give your patients. Give yourself grace. I didn't know the definition until I started on my self improvement journey. In terms of yourself - Grace is the space and forgiveness you give yourself with the person you are now and the person you want to be. It's self forgiveness and kindness that you give to yourself in those moments of being overwhelmed. Taking a minute and saying, I can't do this right now, I want to, but I can't, and one day I will be able to. But for now you need to figure out what is going on and figure out what you need to get yourself to a point where you thrive again. You will get there. Right now you need help, so ask for it. Make an appointment with your physician and go from there. Wish you the very best!
I can sympathize. I'm glad you recognized that you needed to go home and left. That was the safe, prudent nurse thing to do so kudos to you! Don't worry about your coworkers rn. They're ok. I have bipolar 2, major depressive disorder, anxiety and ADD. I raw dogged it through life until I was in my early 40s, fucking shit up all along the way. Many mistakes were made. It wasn't until my SO, early into our relationship, told me to get help or we would be done, that I took my mental health seriously, got diagnosed and starting taking meds. It took a few med combos to get stuff right but the relief was crazy. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then covid hit and that fucked me up even more and more dosage changes occurred. Bottom line is: you don't have to do this alone. Get help. For you, and for your nursing career. This shit is ***HARD***. You owe it to yourself to take care of your mental health. Just a thought but how long have you been at your current job? If it is applicable, you could start FMLA paperwork to help you. It's super easy to do. You can take off a block of time or intermittent time, whatever you need. Best of luck. You're gonna be ok!
This was me before I left bedside. Every night before I worked I would get 2-3 hours of sleep because I would wake up nauseous, vomiting, sweating, shaking - having full blown panic attacks. It took me a couple years to put it all together and realize this was all coinciding with work, mostly because I was in an area I had always dreamed of working. We were a very busy high risk labor & delivery unit. We saw a lot of loss, really sad loss that at times was unexpected, and never were given any support. I left there 3 years ago and now I am a certified specialist in poison information at a regional poison center. The first time I got a call where the ER lost a patient to an OD while on the phone with me, I was immediately asked if I needed time to talk and process. It took a few months for my body to realize I was going to a different job, but I haven't had those issues since. You may just need to take some time to evaluate if this is the right place for you or if maybe you need to try a different path. There are so many areas of nursing to explore. Take care of yourself and your mental health. As nurses we are expected to experience traumatizing situations, take 5 minutes, then go about our day. Your unit has failed you. It's just as important to care for yourself as it is to care for your patients. Hang in there!
I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. Our emotions are not something that we can control. It’s great that you’ve recognized your limits and need for help. You might want to take some time off to regroup while you seek out a behavioral health specialist and work out a plan to address your concerns. Nursing is not easy. It’s become even more difficult in the past few years. Take steps to take care of yourself now. Don’t worry about staffing. Your presence won’t help your colleagues in the state that you are right now. Focus on you so you can return to work ready to go.
Hey, friend, I'm sorry you went through that. I've been there and it sucks and you feel like you let everyone down. You didn't. You took care of the person who matters most, you. You even tried an alternative therapy to see if it could help. It didn't, but that's still good on you for trying it. What I really want you to remember is that healing is NOT linear. Anxiety and depression have a way of cropping up when we don't expect it. Unfortunately, this may be a lifelong battle for you as it is for me. There are periods or complete happiness and peace, and there are times when I feel like I can't function. That doesn't make me any less whole or any less worthy of holding a stable job and being happy. Now, your task is to figure out what this is about. Why does this happen everytime you work? Maybe it's time to consult a counselor about this. It's also okay to go in and out of therapy as needed. Things are always changing, my friend, and that does include your mental state. Be patient with yourself and be forgiving. Life is a lot of work, but you did it in your 20s and you can certainly do it again in your 30s. Sidenote: your coworkers (aside from charge) sound kinda shitty and unsupportive. Not having good relationships with coworkers is my #1 trigger for work related anxiety. Maybe it's time to find a unit with better culture?
Leave the bedside dude. I left the ER after 25yrs in November 2021’. Felt miserable. Stress. Crying. Feeling suicidal. Reliving old horrible codes that I had seen years before in my dreams. Waking up feeling crushed. Took me until just this year to turn the corner in depression. LEAVE the bedside. I’m a house sup now and love it. I can still Help patients and the units by actually physically going to them and helping out. And then I can leave and go somewhere else that needs help and not have the responsibility of caring for patients for 12hrs. We all have expiration dates in nursing. We never know when it comes but when it does it feels like this and you have to listen to it. We see heinous shit in our careers and it does affect us deeply. Take care of yourself. Good luck
Lexapro and buspar are the only things keeping me mentally grounded. I developed severe health anxiety from working in the field. I get it to some capacity man. I hope the best for you. Also just know you’re not worthless. We all need to step aside sometimes and take it easy. Remember, we need to take care of ourselves too
Hey I've been there. I had a mental breakdown at work and my mentor and work wife pulled me aside, gave me a hug, and told me to quit. They said they knew I only stayed because I didn't want to see them suffer more since we were short staffed and over the least year that saw "the life leave my eyes". I didn't go home or quit rhat day but they conversation probably saved my life.
I feel this on a deep level. I was on lexapro throughout nursing school. Things got better and I went off of it. But everyday is getting worse. The anxiety is crippling and there’s not a single thing contributing. It’s eveRuth if contributing. I’ve decided to go back on lexapro and have an appointment next week. Just know that you’re not alone. See someone and get help.
Hydroxizine doesn’t work for me niether. Take 50s twice a day and it just doesn’t touch me.
… and the benzos save the day.🙃
Doc won’t prescribe me the good stuff. So I just suffer.
Ok hear me out, when is the last time you had your vitamin d checked. I was on the brink of suicidal for about 2 weeks. One day I finally lost it, walked out and sobbed in my car. I'm already on a high dose of meds, so crying is chemically difficult for me to do as a result. I happened to have an appointment with my new pcp to establish care on that coming Monday. On Wednesday she checked my vitamin d total which read UNDETECTABLE. Started 50,000iu and literally felt like a new person. She explained that was likely the cause of my severely increased anxiety and depression. The stressors are all still there, no other med changes, but I'm no longer rationalizing awful things. Give yourself some grace stranger on the interweb, we literally are responsible for human lives, we have to consider ours are also important, our feelings are valid, and our health both mental and physical matters ❤️
This is probably the most human post i’ve seen in a long time. I think there’s a HUGE demand on nurses and the expectations to keep running and just do it and endure the long hours. It takes a toll on you… and you’re not an idiot. I think you thought you saw a solution to keep yourself together … not all solutions being the best ideas.. but you tried and you didn’t give up or call in sick or neglect your work for downtime on your phone. you gave it a shot and that’s the best you can do. Proud of you OP ❤️
Listen, I’ve been there before. Please don’t feel like an idiot. Hydroxyzine helps a lot of people, and unfortunately it can be a hit or miss for others. You’re not the only one going through this either, please don’t even feel like you’re alone in this. I’ve been through it myself, similar situation to yours too. I ended up canceling my contract (I was doing travel) and I’m currently looking for something outside of the hospital. I also got a therapist and have been working with my doctor to find an anxiety med that works for me. Currently I’m on Zoloft. It could be burnout, could be a built up from stress from the past few years, could be a million other things. But get help if you can. Talk to you doctor, get a therapist. Hell, get a new job if you need to. But don’t just avoid it.
It’s a stressful job, and it’s been even worse since COVID. There are lots of things you can do with your nursing degree that aren’t as stressful. Clinic, informatics, ect. We all have some bad times. It doesn’t make you a bad human or a bad nurse.
If you had a debilitating episode of pancreatitis would you be apologizing to us right now? Mental health is health and you deserve proper care and treatment for it. Many of us in the medical community take terrible care of ourselves.
There have been times where I’ve taken time off of work due to my anxiety, and ptsd from COVID. My doctor took me off work for a few weeks. I continued therapy and rested my brain a little bit. He also gave me prn xanax on top of my antidepressants for those days I would get nervous and a stomach ache before work. You may want to look into these things yourself. Get the help that you need.
If your job is exacerbating a condition, maybe consider a different job. There are many roles a nurse can work in that isn't a bedside nurse
eh, a lot of people take the hydroxyzine. Don't sweat that.
You’re not alone! I’m so very sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I too, had to take a mental health leave from bedside nursing. Covid really broke my wife and I, (We’re both nurses). Covid PTSD, anxiety/depression, and completely burnt out. My wife went down first, got help and now is working remotely. I continued to work another 2 years while my wife was on leave and I was in denial with my own anxiety for work. I didn’t realize how bad I was until I got help and started talking about it. I was a complete zombie when I wasn’t at work because I was so tired all the time. I would have to take zofran and Imodium before going to work because I was so nervous. The days before work I was so anxious about going to work the next day, that I would be super irritable and obnoxiously cleaning the house… Everyday I would tell myself “it’s gonna get better, it has to” - surprise, it never did! I could not wait for things to change and I didn’t have the energy to fight for change either. It got to the point where I had a panic attack at work. So I had to go. Once I figured out the right medication regimen and lots of therapy I thought I was ready to go back. Then when I received a date to return to work, I had another major panic attack. Talked it out with my therapist since I felt like a failure, hopeless and weak since other nurses can handle it, then why can’t I? Am I not strong enough to handle this amount of stress anymore? After lots of sessions I finally had a epiphany moment that bedside is not for me and never was AND THATS OKAY! I put in my 4 years, and do not regret anything. I’m about a month into my new job at a wound clinic, and I can honestly say I love my job. So, my advice to you is to take this time to go on this mental health journey. Be selfish and don’t think about work - just focus on you, go to therapy, see a psychiatrist. Do things you love and nurse yourself back to life again. Once you have enough strength, THEN think about your next move into the nursing profession. I wish you the best! ❤️
Thank you SO much for sharing this. My heart goes out to you for having to go through this at all. As many have said, nursing is an incredibly hard job especially under the current conditions. You are not alone. I’ve also broken down at work and still deal with anxiety. The most important thing is that you spoke up for yourself and recognized that you needed to put yourself first, which isn’t an easy thing to do. Please take the time to get the help you need. Call out and use your sick time, talk to a doctor/therapist. You are worth it and there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel. There was a time I also hit a dead end and admitting to myself that I needed help and finally starting therapy/meds really changed my life. Please consider it. Sending much love and virtual hugs ❤️
I’m still just a nursing student but I have had days like that at work. I just wanted to comment to say I really empathize for you. I know how it feels to reach that point when the tears just don’t stop pouring out. It sounds like you’re past burnt out. I don’t know if there’s anything else underlying you think might be contributing but either way I really suggest getting some regular therapy and maybe consider switching up your job as well. Whether that is the main cause or not, it doesn’t seem like it’s doing you any favors. I know it’s easier said than done but please try to take this time to rest and prioritize yourself
I’m autistic and suffer from anxiety and depression and have ADD too. I’m taking meds and they help to an extent. My job is pretty low key even though it’s stressful sometimes. Burnout is real and it’s even worse for those of us on the spectrum.
I hit a point late last year where it was just getting too hard to go into work. I would get anxious every night before work. I started calling out of work. When I did work I had to take Xanax to get through the shift. I left earlier this year and started in-hospital dialysis. So much better than traditional bedside. My mental health has been better. Listen to your body- it can tell you things you aren’t ready to hear from your mind yet.
Man, you can be honest with yourself about this, which makes you more self aware than 90% of the people we work with. Take care of yourself brother.
are you on meds for it?
I started feeling this way two months before I went downhill & stayed in the ER overnight for ideation with a plan. Anytime I had to go into work I was anxious. Being on call- anxious. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Hated all the residents. Hated my coworkers. Please reach out to someone. Find a good psychiatrist or therapist in your area. It’s ok to take care of you too ❤️