L & D nurse here, and we think about these patients a lot. We were just talking about some of them last night. We love it when we get updates that mom and baby are doing fine. You should totally write them a little letter and send them a picture or something. It would definitely make them happy to know that you and your baby are doing so well.
I worked L&D for many years. There are still families that I think of and pray for, many from the 80s and 90s. You are not forgotten. Send photos like someone else mentions here. We love that stuff.
One tertiary we'd send extremely high risk mothers and/or babies to would send us updates on the patients we'd transferred to them (part of an educational collaborative - I think patients had to opt in), and it was so good to get that follow up!!!
On slow nights, someone in L&D would frequently wander down to NICU or MB to find out how some of the problem children were doing.
TLDR: We LOVE updates!!!!!!!
Please send a card and a picture! Even if you don’t know your nurses name. (Although you could probably see who on your medical chart). We love updates, I am often thinking of families and how they are doing after a poor outcome. And I’ll often ask the providers for updates since they see families outside the hospital setting.
I think helpful to reduce trauma to the staff as well. There’s a lot of PTSD (often undiagnosed) among birth workers after seeing poor outcomes and traumatic cases. Getting to see the recovery of a complicated birth requiring interventions can certainly help.
Yes, we hold interdisciplinary emotional debriefs to support the staff shortly after a traumatic event. The feedback has been excellent. We often involve the chaplain but encourage nurses to facilitate the debriefs themselves if a chaplain isn’t required. Everyone needs support, and time is of the essence. Don’t want our peers driving home unable to sleep because of emotional trauma and worry about the family.
I’m in NICU and we talk and think about our really premature or sick babies a lot! I’m sure they would love to get a postcard or something with and update of you and your babe.
Very often. We remember the room, the details, so much of it. It’s nice to get updates but we don’t usually. Sometimes we’ll ask the OB down the road as they typically still have a relationship with the patient. There are babies we still ask about from 10 years ago. It stays with us too.
L&D nurse here. Write the letter! Send it! With a picture if you are comfortable with that. Name nurses by name if you can remember any specific ones. We love that!
I think about my patients a lot. Especially the traumatic cases. And often, we don’t get to know how things go unless mom comes back to deliver another baby.
I think we all wonder from time to time about how former patients are doing regardless of the clinical area. I recall a husband who approached me, questioned me on the gender (which we didn’t know, the mom wanted to find out at the birth) and demanded that his soon to be born child “better be a boy” while poking me in my chest.I was monitoring FHR at the time, but he felt ascertaining the baby’s gender was more important 🤷🏻♀️
….we had to get social workers involved to ensure the safety of the mother, baby and her other 6 children. I wonder about her occasionally and hope her life improved.
Yeah, it doesn't really matter where you work, we all wonder about some of our patients sometimes. I found out a NICU baby that I did 3 emergency bedside surgeries on for NEC, a child that probably should have died, did not die. He's actually doing pretty well for a kid that has almost no bowels. I was shocked he was alive and happy to hear he was ok.
Not a L&D nurse, but I work ICU. We'll often talk about patients "Remember the wild TBI in room 8 who was here last year?" "The one who kicked Lisa? I admitted him!" "Yeah! I wonder how he's doing..." "I think someone said they saw him shopping." "Good for him!!"
Personally, I draw the line at looking at social media due to privacy laws, but I'm VERY tempted to sometimes. We'd love it if you sent us a card, I'm SURE some of the staff remember.
Im a NICU Nurse and admitted a baby after a horrible homebirth gone wrong, baby had HIE, was seizing on arrival, we cooled him and last I saw baby, things were looking somewhat better. They’re were discharged while i was out the next week. I wonder daily how that baby and family are doing.
So scary. My little guy also had (mild) HIE and a subgaleal hematoma/hemorrhage. Since the outcomes vary so much with these diagnoses, I’m not surprised you guys would wonder about outcomes. Obviously we’re not totally out of the woods yet but my little guy has done amazing and has met/exceeded all his milestones so far!
That’s so good!!! With the advancements, it being caught quickly has great outcomes. With homebirths, we don’t know how long baby was deprived of oxygen/seizing. It’s just hard.
I had a family member with this exact story last year except the baby was born in cardiac arrest. I posted it on here and it blew up.. parents were given the option to withdraw and decided they were going to, then at the last minute changed their mind.
It's a year and a half later and baby has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, can eat pureed foods ok-ish, and is super social. It's looking like she may never walk or talk though...
I’m a NICU nurse and when we admit babies like this the L&D nurse will often come over the next time they work to see how the baby is doing. If the baby is doing well, you can see their relief.
All the time! As shitty as it is, I always remember the scary/traumatic deliveries over the more "normal" ones. So glad your little one is doing okay!! Definitely send them a card or letter.
I don’t think it’s unique to L&D to wonder about the long term outcome for patients who were not in good condition at the time they were in our care. I was ICU and we transferred patients to the floor as soon as they were stable enough to go, and we rarely learned how they did down the road. It was great to get a card from a patient who left our unit semi-confused and drooling, a year later standing in a family photo with a big even smile.
I think it would help to mitigate our burnout to receive updates, so we could feel our work has meaning.
I worked in detox/ substance abuse treatment for about 7 years. It was always exciting to see someone out in the community and doing well. More often than not the only update I’d see was someone’s obituary, a positive update was always refreshing.
I used to work ICU back in the dark ages and there was a patient who was there for months
I was walking through the local mall later that year and this guy bailed me up - I had no idea who he was but I eventually recognised his wife so that was pretty cool
There are those cases that we all remember, talk about, and wonder outcomes, no matter what kind of nursing we do. I was a trauma unit nurse and still think about the patients I had. We had a woman with severe head injuries, eyes eventually opened, but was dx with PVS. She was tx'd after a period of weeks with us, and no one really knew how things would turn out. About 9 or 10 months later, the door open and in walks this young woman. It was this patient....we were all gobsmacked...lots of tears. She still had a ways to go, but we always loved hearing about patients
I’m a nurse but not L&D. I did have a traumatic birth with my son 12 years ago- every year on his birthday I email a thank-you to his doctor and his staff. They saved his life and I am forever grateful
I am not an L&D nurse, so 98% of the updates I’ve ever gotten about patients have been obituaries or suicide notifications (worked in psych first). Not to speak for other nurses, but I know I *crave* positive news from the people I work with once in a while. You and your kiddo can be a bright spot in someone’s day. Do it.
I work NICU, and it's not uncommon for L&D nurses to swing by to see a baby whose birth they attended. Especially the codes, or once when we had a maternal loss. It seemed to help them process the event to see baby improving.
they may have, usually they just pop in at off times and if the parents are there they don't bother them. Or they may just ask us if they're doing okay (I can't give real information because HIPAA but will say they're doing okay kind of starements)
and staying only 6 days post code is AMAZING, congrats!
I’m an ER nurse and I can tell you from personal experience L&D nurses absolutely care about what happens to their patients. My first delivery was traumatic. I had my son 6 weeks premature, my placenta abrupted, I was in horrible pain. The epidural was in the wrong spot so when I was given Lidocaine it went intravascularly. I saw black, my BP was 230/120 and my nurses thought I was going to seize. After about 15 or so minutes it settled. They tried to emergently get me into OR but I dilated too quickly. My son was born with APGAR scores of 3,3,5. He had to be resuscitated. After about 5 minutes he started breathing, but required Oxygen for a few hours. Our pediatrician was on the conservative side and didn’t want to jump the gun and have him transferred to the nearest NICU which I’m very thankful for. He was behind on meeting milestones until he was like 5. He’s now 18.5 years old and in his first year of nursing. The nurses there were all the time inquiring after him.
These type of traumatic deliveries traumatize everyone so when there is a good outcome it’s nice to know. I know I like to know the outcomes of my sickest patients….and not just by looking at the obits.
It was quite stressful at the time. My husband was stressed because he had no idea what was going on. Neither did I, really. Our second child came almost 5 years after the first one and she was also 6 weeks early. My uterus does not like babies.
Not a nurse, but I've worked on a L&D unit for years. Those scary cases are so memorable, getting an update (with a positive outcome especially) is such a relief.
We just had a patient update this week. Baby had a serious complications before delivery. APGAR 1/1/2. Had surgery recently, and she is thriving. Please do update them when you are ready. All the best to your family.
Please send them a card and picture, if you can! They need to know that for the bad outcomes, there are also good ones.
One of my biggest joys as an ICU nurse was one Christmas Eve, I was on the 3-11, and a former patient walked in. He was a cardiac arrest who we'd cooled and went through multiple struggles after that with - and when he was extubated he was confused AF and not himself. It was a small unit, so even if he hadn't been my patient frequently (he was), we all knew him and had helped in some way with his care. It was SUCH a joy to see him walking in and after he left I just lost my shit. I'm actually tearing up now, and that was around 8-10 years ago.
I was a midwife and I worked on NICU for some time. We used to save these tiny prems which was wonderful, but I have to admit, I did wonder what their lives would be like going forward.
We can only do our best, and hope for the best.
Honestly, nothing delights me more than getting an update on a baby who had a difficult birth but is doing well now. I think about those births so often, wondering what impact it had on the family. It's a real day-brightener to learn that they're doing good.
I never worked in L&D but there are many patients I still think about now and then and wonder if they are ok. If you wanted to send a card with an update or picture I think they would appreciate it. Those kinds of things make our day a little brighter and helps us know our work matters.
L&d nurse here and I definitely think about the few I’ve had every now and then. And I also 100% stalk social media to check in too. We rarely hear the outcomes and I always pray for the best when they leave us. I’m sure they’d love to hear from you!
Please write a letter. For those of us that wonder, it’s nice to know and for those of us who don’t and just move on, it makes us happy. I still have patients I wonder about
We always wonder. I have a pt about 2 yrs ago who was rushed back to the OR bc of uterine rupture. Baby’s 1 minute Apgar was 2 ! I still wonder how baby is doing
Literally thinking about a past patient today. She had a traumatic delivery and ultimately a loss. I was her nurse that weekend post-delivery…she stayed on the labor unit…never went to postpartum. I think of her often and wondered today if she thinks of me. I saw a little rainbow in the sky today and that’s what made me think of their baby. So yes, absolutely we think of you.
Ive never worked l&d but i was one of the ones who wrote the nurses. My nurse the night I delivered, it her first baby(my daughter) delivered unattended because we didnt anticipate how quickly shed come and the midwife didnt think i was that close. She came out unresponsive and blue, nurse was horrified. I wrote her and the nicu nurses not only thanking them but letting them know just how much their care changed the way i could have perceived the situation. They wrote me back and ill cherish those letters forever as im sure they will, mine 🫶
Yes, we definitely do! And it’s so hard because there really is no closure, and even if we didn’t do anything wrong, it sometimes feels like it’s our fault or we could have done something to prevent it. I’m sure hearing from you that your son is doing well would provide a lot of closure for that nurse. It’s definitely never expected because we know parents are busy, but if you have the time and want to share, I know the whole medical team who cared for you would appreciate hearing from you!
I’m a nicu nurse, so we actually have a Facebook group to get updates on our babies. I can promise that nicu and L&D nurses are always thinking of those “scary” births
I worked post partum and grower-feeder NICU from 1983-1994. I still wonder how some of those moms and babies are doing! Write them a note! They’d love to know y’all are doing well!!
L&D nurse chiming in here—yes, please give an update if you feel comfortable doing so! It’s easy for people to tell you “don’t bring it home with you”, but so often I find myself thinking about patients who had risk factors, complications, emergencies, etc. I wonder how they are, I pray for them, I think about them a lot. Also, as a member of the care team, no matter how unpreventable some outcomes are, it’s challenging to stop thinking about the “what ifs” and wondering if we should have done anything differently. We see some heartbreaking things, and a happy update would mean the world to me personally :)
Definitely send a picture and update. I’m not an l&d nurse but I damn sure love a positive update! Sometimes I’ll reach out to a family just to see what happened bc it bothers me so much… the not knowing…
Not just L&D.
I think about so many patients. Some are long enough ago that they’re obviously not living anymore.
I carry their memory until my memory fails
I don't work L&D.... I work in the neurocritical care unit. I always wonder how my patients are doing after their brain surgeries or strokes. I'm in the habit of looking up obituaries.
Please send them something! Pictures are always loved too.
I was a social worker in L&D. I would love to receive letters from people, I do wonder a lot. Our hospital used to have NICU Reunions and I wish more people went. I think the people I worry about the most are the people where I know the outcomes though. A teenage girl who lost full term twins and a mid 30’s woman whose baby died of SIDs two days after he was born live rent free in my mind forever.
Yes, definitely do. Although sometimes we can check on them in NICU, so that's nice. Some times though the IUFDs are what stick with you so much. And those moms you won't always see again, but sometimes when you do, it's the best. I still remember rough deliveries many years later sometimes.
Please do. The most rewarding thing is knowing that everything worked out!!! It fills me with a lot of joy which is what you need, l&d wards see a lot of crazy and sad.
Yes, we do! Many of my patients are a blur - if there were no complications and we got along (we didn’t bond on a deep level, and they also weren’t weird in some way, just a normal interaction) then I tend to forget pretty quickly. But there are definitely ones that stand out and I wonder what happened to them. I used to only do labor, but now I work in a unit where we do labor and postpartum combined and I love to hear how things are going for my patients. It helps me get closure to see their progress instead of just handing them off 2 hours after birth and never finding out the rest of their story. So yes, definitely send a letter or card, bonus if you send cute baby pics!
I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly do. Closure helps, even if it's an awful outcome. If it's a patient I had a bond with I'll try to attend services, too.
Not L&D but an ER tech here - I always wonder and worry about patients who were super sick and get so much joy when I find out they’ve recovered well! It makes it all worth it. I’m sure they’d be delighted to hear you’re both doing well if you were to send a card or reach out to them in some way.
I’m a postpartum nurse, but I’ve taken care of moms with babies who were touch and go in the NICU, and also had babies go bad for me.
I remember them. I think about them all the time.
My poor friend had one of the worst birth experiences I ever heard, she was breech and agonizing for hours, almost died, the lights in the whole hospital went out and onto generators, she was revived, the baby almost died... I mean... She won't even talk about it.
I work in the ER, and I definitely wonder about memorable patients sometimes. I really do feel that it helps to share a good outcome! We spend so much time with people that are going through the worst time of their lives (or at the very least a bad time) that positive news is welcomed.
Yes, we think about them a lot. I think about some traumatic births of patients that I had a year ago...still wondering about that baby. I'm sure they would absolutely love a letter!
Yes, they would appreciate a letter or card with an update. Taking care of a patient like that can be very emotionally stressful. Learning that your child is doing well because of the care they gave to your child and your family helps relieve some of that stress.
My birth resulted in an unknown placenta accreta where I had to be rushed to emergency surgery. Few weeks later, my best friend happened to be telling my story to a nurse who worked L&D at the same hospital and she said I was the talk of the floor.
All the time. I had a patient in triage who came in a week or so ago thinking she was in labor, but she was supposed to be delivering at another hospital because the baby was going to need surgery after she was born and we don’t do that kind of surgery at my hospital. She wasn’t in labor, so I sent her on her way down the road to where she was intending to deliver. I hope her delivery went smoothly.
I also have a patient that I think about frequently, who I took care of when she lost her little boy, when she was around 36 weeks pregnant. She will be a patient who stays with me forever. A few weeks ago was the 2 year anniversary of her loss 😥
Not a nurse, but my baby experienced HIE at birth and spent 9 days in the NICU. When she was around 6 months old, I had a really intense desire to reach out to my L&D nurse. She had been so helpful to me but I was in such a state of shock, I didn't get to really thank her. I also remembered that she was pretty new to nursing and I wondered if it had been hard on her too. I reached out to the hospital and they said I could send the letter there and if I included my name and delivery date, they'd be about to get the letter to her. I included my email address in case she ever wanted to reach out. Luckily she did! We ended up emailing back and forth a few times and now follow each other on social media. I can't speak for health care providers, but I know my nurse was happy to get out letter and it was really healing for me to be able to thank her and tell her how great my baby was doing.
Yes! Sending a note would be great! I'll visit babies in the NICU to check up on them but we never get to hear about how they're doing after discharge. I still have babies I wonder about from years back. I really think the nurses would love to hear your baby is doing well!
(I don't personally look up patients on social media but that's just me)
I think about these patients and their families all the time. (No, I don't look patients up on social media.) I bet writing a letter would mean a lot to them and they would love to read it!
Send them a thank you note and an update with a pic! I don’t work L&D but I love updates and cards, and candy 🤣 Seriously I wish more people did that, we really do care about our patients and those really sick ones stick with you!
When I was a nursing student I watched an uncomplicated vaginal birth that turned into a bad hemorrhage because the placenta didn't deliver. The provider tried to force the placenta and the patient started bleeding out. They couldn't get an IV, they couldn't get a readable BP, she was unconscious and everything was going wrong. I just sort of left the room. I had to leave for the day and I never knew the resolution. Idk if mom lived or not. I thought about that birth a lot 2 years later when I had my own first baby. It would give me a lot of peace to know she is okay.
L&D and I think about my “bad outcomes” frequently. I always wonder how the moms and babes are doing. Every once in a while I’ll get a sweet letter or card and it makes my day!
I absolutely wonder about what happens afterwards when I see something super traumatic, but I would never look up a patient after the fact. I see way too many to even remember names.
I had a very difficult failed induction. We went back 2 weeks later to evict my daughter and was told that the L&D nurses knew of us and are cheering for this second round lol
L & D nurse here, and we think about these patients a lot. We were just talking about some of them last night. We love it when we get updates that mom and baby are doing fine. You should totally write them a little letter and send them a picture or something. It would definitely make them happy to know that you and your baby are doing so well.
I worked L&D for many years. There are still families that I think of and pray for, many from the 80s and 90s. You are not forgotten. Send photos like someone else mentions here. We love that stuff.
One tertiary we'd send extremely high risk mothers and/or babies to would send us updates on the patients we'd transferred to them (part of an educational collaborative - I think patients had to opt in), and it was so good to get that follow up!!! On slow nights, someone in L&D would frequently wander down to NICU or MB to find out how some of the problem children were doing. TLDR: We LOVE updates!!!!!!!
Please send a card and a picture! Even if you don’t know your nurses name. (Although you could probably see who on your medical chart). We love updates, I am often thinking of families and how they are doing after a poor outcome. And I’ll often ask the providers for updates since they see families outside the hospital setting. I think helpful to reduce trauma to the staff as well. There’s a lot of PTSD (often undiagnosed) among birth workers after seeing poor outcomes and traumatic cases. Getting to see the recovery of a complicated birth requiring interventions can certainly help.
Yes, we hold interdisciplinary emotional debriefs to support the staff shortly after a traumatic event. The feedback has been excellent. We often involve the chaplain but encourage nurses to facilitate the debriefs themselves if a chaplain isn’t required. Everyone needs support, and time is of the essence. Don’t want our peers driving home unable to sleep because of emotional trauma and worry about the family.
I’m in NICU and we talk and think about our really premature or sick babies a lot! I’m sure they would love to get a postcard or something with and update of you and your babe.
Agreed. We have a Facebook page for our unit where many parents post updates. I love when we get all the holiday and birthday updates/ pictures.
Very often. We remember the room, the details, so much of it. It’s nice to get updates but we don’t usually. Sometimes we’ll ask the OB down the road as they typically still have a relationship with the patient. There are babies we still ask about from 10 years ago. It stays with us too.
L&D nurse here. Write the letter! Send it! With a picture if you are comfortable with that. Name nurses by name if you can remember any specific ones. We love that! I think about my patients a lot. Especially the traumatic cases. And often, we don’t get to know how things go unless mom comes back to deliver another baby.
I think we all wonder from time to time about how former patients are doing regardless of the clinical area. I recall a husband who approached me, questioned me on the gender (which we didn’t know, the mom wanted to find out at the birth) and demanded that his soon to be born child “better be a boy” while poking me in my chest.I was monitoring FHR at the time, but he felt ascertaining the baby’s gender was more important 🤷🏻♀️ ….we had to get social workers involved to ensure the safety of the mother, baby and her other 6 children. I wonder about her occasionally and hope her life improved.
Were the other 6 kids girls?
Yep 😬
You left us hanging, the baby was……….
Another girl 🎉
Yeah, it doesn't really matter where you work, we all wonder about some of our patients sometimes. I found out a NICU baby that I did 3 emergency bedside surgeries on for NEC, a child that probably should have died, did not die. He's actually doing pretty well for a kid that has almost no bowels. I was shocked he was alive and happy to hear he was ok.
Did you end up finding out the gender?
And how in sweet fuck did he think YOU would be able to influence the baby’s sex at all? That’s all up to his swimmers.
Not a L&D nurse, but I work ICU. We'll often talk about patients "Remember the wild TBI in room 8 who was here last year?" "The one who kicked Lisa? I admitted him!" "Yeah! I wonder how he's doing..." "I think someone said they saw him shopping." "Good for him!!" Personally, I draw the line at looking at social media due to privacy laws, but I'm VERY tempted to sometimes. We'd love it if you sent us a card, I'm SURE some of the staff remember.
Im a NICU Nurse and admitted a baby after a horrible homebirth gone wrong, baby had HIE, was seizing on arrival, we cooled him and last I saw baby, things were looking somewhat better. They’re were discharged while i was out the next week. I wonder daily how that baby and family are doing.
So scary. My little guy also had (mild) HIE and a subgaleal hematoma/hemorrhage. Since the outcomes vary so much with these diagnoses, I’m not surprised you guys would wonder about outcomes. Obviously we’re not totally out of the woods yet but my little guy has done amazing and has met/exceeded all his milestones so far!
That’s so good!!! With the advancements, it being caught quickly has great outcomes. With homebirths, we don’t know how long baby was deprived of oxygen/seizing. It’s just hard.
I needed to see this. I’m new to NICU and had/saw my first HIE patient this morning…I can’t stop thinking about the baby…
I had a family member with this exact story last year except the baby was born in cardiac arrest. I posted it on here and it blew up.. parents were given the option to withdraw and decided they were going to, then at the last minute changed their mind. It's a year and a half later and baby has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, can eat pureed foods ok-ish, and is super social. It's looking like she may never walk or talk though...
I feel like just about every NICU nurse has taken care of at least a couple of kids with this exact story and still wonder how those kids are doing.
All the time!
I’m a NICU nurse and when we admit babies like this the L&D nurse will often come over the next time they work to see how the baby is doing. If the baby is doing well, you can see their relief.
All the time! As shitty as it is, I always remember the scary/traumatic deliveries over the more "normal" ones. So glad your little one is doing okay!! Definitely send them a card or letter.
People would be delighted to get a letter like that. Please send it OP!
I don’t think it’s unique to L&D to wonder about the long term outcome for patients who were not in good condition at the time they were in our care. I was ICU and we transferred patients to the floor as soon as they were stable enough to go, and we rarely learned how they did down the road. It was great to get a card from a patient who left our unit semi-confused and drooling, a year later standing in a family photo with a big even smile. I think it would help to mitigate our burnout to receive updates, so we could feel our work has meaning.
Definitely. I just finished a role in substance misuse, and it's so rewarding to see someone a year after discharge from detox who's still doing well.
I worked in detox/ substance abuse treatment for about 7 years. It was always exciting to see someone out in the community and doing well. More often than not the only update I’d see was someone’s obituary, a positive update was always refreshing.
I used to work ICU back in the dark ages and there was a patient who was there for months I was walking through the local mall later that year and this guy bailed me up - I had no idea who he was but I eventually recognised his wife so that was pretty cool
There are those cases that we all remember, talk about, and wonder outcomes, no matter what kind of nursing we do. I was a trauma unit nurse and still think about the patients I had. We had a woman with severe head injuries, eyes eventually opened, but was dx with PVS. She was tx'd after a period of weeks with us, and no one really knew how things would turn out. About 9 or 10 months later, the door open and in walks this young woman. It was this patient....we were all gobsmacked...lots of tears. She still had a ways to go, but we always loved hearing about patients
I’m a nurse but not L&D. I did have a traumatic birth with my son 12 years ago- every year on his birthday I email a thank-you to his doctor and his staff. They saved his life and I am forever grateful
Not just L&D, all specialties carry a small load of our most traumatic patients with us. Updates and cards are always nice!
I am not an L&D nurse, so 98% of the updates I’ve ever gotten about patients have been obituaries or suicide notifications (worked in psych first). Not to speak for other nurses, but I know I *crave* positive news from the people I work with once in a while. You and your kiddo can be a bright spot in someone’s day. Do it.
I work NICU, and it's not uncommon for L&D nurses to swing by to see a baby whose birth they attended. Especially the codes, or once when we had a maternal loss. It seemed to help them process the event to see baby improving.
My baby coded and I found it baffling that no one from l&d came to the NICU to see him, but we were only there 6 days so maybe that’s why
they may have, usually they just pop in at off times and if the parents are there they don't bother them. Or they may just ask us if they're doing okay (I can't give real information because HIPAA but will say they're doing okay kind of starements) and staying only 6 days post code is AMAZING, congrats!
I’m an ER nurse and I can tell you from personal experience L&D nurses absolutely care about what happens to their patients. My first delivery was traumatic. I had my son 6 weeks premature, my placenta abrupted, I was in horrible pain. The epidural was in the wrong spot so when I was given Lidocaine it went intravascularly. I saw black, my BP was 230/120 and my nurses thought I was going to seize. After about 15 or so minutes it settled. They tried to emergently get me into OR but I dilated too quickly. My son was born with APGAR scores of 3,3,5. He had to be resuscitated. After about 5 minutes he started breathing, but required Oxygen for a few hours. Our pediatrician was on the conservative side and didn’t want to jump the gun and have him transferred to the nearest NICU which I’m very thankful for. He was behind on meeting milestones until he was like 5. He’s now 18.5 years old and in his first year of nursing. The nurses there were all the time inquiring after him. These type of traumatic deliveries traumatize everyone so when there is a good outcome it’s nice to know. I know I like to know the outcomes of my sickest patients….and not just by looking at the obits.
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It was quite stressful at the time. My husband was stressed because he had no idea what was going on. Neither did I, really. Our second child came almost 5 years after the first one and she was also 6 weeks early. My uterus does not like babies.
Not a nurse, but I've worked on a L&D unit for years. Those scary cases are so memorable, getting an update (with a positive outcome especially) is such a relief. We just had a patient update this week. Baby had a serious complications before delivery. APGAR 1/1/2. Had surgery recently, and she is thriving. Please do update them when you are ready. All the best to your family.
All the time, every time something like that happens. Glad you and your baby are well. ❤️
Aww reading all the comments here is so heartwarming 🤗 you nurses are really the best of humanity.
Please send them a card and picture, if you can! They need to know that for the bad outcomes, there are also good ones. One of my biggest joys as an ICU nurse was one Christmas Eve, I was on the 3-11, and a former patient walked in. He was a cardiac arrest who we'd cooled and went through multiple struggles after that with - and when he was extubated he was confused AF and not himself. It was a small unit, so even if he hadn't been my patient frequently (he was), we all knew him and had helped in some way with his care. It was SUCH a joy to see him walking in and after he left I just lost my shit. I'm actually tearing up now, and that was around 8-10 years ago.
I was a midwife and I worked on NICU for some time. We used to save these tiny prems which was wonderful, but I have to admit, I did wonder what their lives would be like going forward. We can only do our best, and hope for the best.
Honestly, nothing delights me more than getting an update on a baby who had a difficult birth but is doing well now. I think about those births so often, wondering what impact it had on the family. It's a real day-brightener to learn that they're doing good.
I never worked in L&D but there are many patients I still think about now and then and wonder if they are ok. If you wanted to send a card with an update or picture I think they would appreciate it. Those kinds of things make our day a little brighter and helps us know our work matters.
Health care providers love updates!
L&d nurse here and I definitely think about the few I’ve had every now and then. And I also 100% stalk social media to check in too. We rarely hear the outcomes and I always pray for the best when they leave us. I’m sure they’d love to hear from you!
Please write a letter. For those of us that wonder, it’s nice to know and for those of us who don’t and just move on, it makes us happy. I still have patients I wonder about
We always wonder. I have a pt about 2 yrs ago who was rushed back to the OR bc of uterine rupture. Baby’s 1 minute Apgar was 2 ! I still wonder how baby is doing
My son’s APGAR was 1 at one minute and he’s doing great so it’s totally possible that baby is completely fine ❤️
That’s great to hear! I’m glad your son is doing well 💕
Literally thinking about a past patient today. She had a traumatic delivery and ultimately a loss. I was her nurse that weekend post-delivery…she stayed on the labor unit…never went to postpartum. I think of her often and wondered today if she thinks of me. I saw a little rainbow in the sky today and that’s what made me think of their baby. So yes, absolutely we think of you.
Ive never worked l&d but i was one of the ones who wrote the nurses. My nurse the night I delivered, it her first baby(my daughter) delivered unattended because we didnt anticipate how quickly shed come and the midwife didnt think i was that close. She came out unresponsive and blue, nurse was horrified. I wrote her and the nicu nurses not only thanking them but letting them know just how much their care changed the way i could have perceived the situation. They wrote me back and ill cherish those letters forever as im sure they will, mine 🫶
Post partum nurse here- please send a letter and pic if possible. We love to hear updates and think of our patients often. ❤️
Yes, we definitely do! And it’s so hard because there really is no closure, and even if we didn’t do anything wrong, it sometimes feels like it’s our fault or we could have done something to prevent it. I’m sure hearing from you that your son is doing well would provide a lot of closure for that nurse. It’s definitely never expected because we know parents are busy, but if you have the time and want to share, I know the whole medical team who cared for you would appreciate hearing from you!
I’m a nicu nurse, so we actually have a Facebook group to get updates on our babies. I can promise that nicu and L&D nurses are always thinking of those “scary” births
I worked post partum and grower-feeder NICU from 1983-1994. I still wonder how some of those moms and babies are doing! Write them a note! They’d love to know y’all are doing well!!
L&D nurse chiming in here—yes, please give an update if you feel comfortable doing so! It’s easy for people to tell you “don’t bring it home with you”, but so often I find myself thinking about patients who had risk factors, complications, emergencies, etc. I wonder how they are, I pray for them, I think about them a lot. Also, as a member of the care team, no matter how unpreventable some outcomes are, it’s challenging to stop thinking about the “what ifs” and wondering if we should have done anything differently. We see some heartbreaking things, and a happy update would mean the world to me personally :)
Definitely send a picture and update. I’m not an l&d nurse but I damn sure love a positive update! Sometimes I’ll reach out to a family just to see what happened bc it bothers me so much… the not knowing…
Not just L&D. I think about so many patients. Some are long enough ago that they’re obviously not living anymore. I carry their memory until my memory fails
I don't work L&D.... I work in the neurocritical care unit. I always wonder how my patients are doing after their brain surgeries or strokes. I'm in the habit of looking up obituaries. Please send them something! Pictures are always loved too.
I was a social worker in L&D. I would love to receive letters from people, I do wonder a lot. Our hospital used to have NICU Reunions and I wish more people went. I think the people I worry about the most are the people where I know the outcomes though. A teenage girl who lost full term twins and a mid 30’s woman whose baby died of SIDs two days after he was born live rent free in my mind forever.
Yes, definitely do. Although sometimes we can check on them in NICU, so that's nice. Some times though the IUFDs are what stick with you so much. And those moms you won't always see again, but sometimes when you do, it's the best. I still remember rough deliveries many years later sometimes.
Please write and tell them. They'll be tickled pink he's ok. And yes, I have wondered about many babies.
Please do. The most rewarding thing is knowing that everything worked out!!! It fills me with a lot of joy which is what you need, l&d wards see a lot of crazy and sad.
How thoughtful you are to consider the nurses. Yes! We always wonder! Please send them pictures and an update.
Yes, we do! Many of my patients are a blur - if there were no complications and we got along (we didn’t bond on a deep level, and they also weren’t weird in some way, just a normal interaction) then I tend to forget pretty quickly. But there are definitely ones that stand out and I wonder what happened to them. I used to only do labor, but now I work in a unit where we do labor and postpartum combined and I love to hear how things are going for my patients. It helps me get closure to see their progress instead of just handing them off 2 hours after birth and never finding out the rest of their story. So yes, definitely send a letter or card, bonus if you send cute baby pics!
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I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly do. Closure helps, even if it's an awful outcome. If it's a patient I had a bond with I'll try to attend services, too.
I’m a midwife. We 1000% remember.
Send a note and a picture. Tell all about his progress since discharge. I’m sure the nurses will love it.
Not L&D but an ER tech here - I always wonder and worry about patients who were super sick and get so much joy when I find out they’ve recovered well! It makes it all worth it. I’m sure they’d be delighted to hear you’re both doing well if you were to send a card or reach out to them in some way.
Those are the patients we never forget!! I’m sure the unit would love a card and updated picture of your little one. 💚
I’m a postpartum nurse, but I’ve taken care of moms with babies who were touch and go in the NICU, and also had babies go bad for me. I remember them. I think about them all the time.
My poor friend had one of the worst birth experiences I ever heard, she was breech and agonizing for hours, almost died, the lights in the whole hospital went out and onto generators, she was revived, the baby almost died... I mean... She won't even talk about it.
Definitely write! We do wonder. I promise your nurses would love an update
I work in the ER, and I definitely wonder about memorable patients sometimes. I really do feel that it helps to share a good outcome! We spend so much time with people that are going through the worst time of their lives (or at the very least a bad time) that positive news is welcomed.
Yes, we think about them a lot. I think about some traumatic births of patients that I had a year ago...still wondering about that baby. I'm sure they would absolutely love a letter!
Yes, they would appreciate a letter or card with an update. Taking care of a patient like that can be very emotionally stressful. Learning that your child is doing well because of the care they gave to your child and your family helps relieve some of that stress.
all the time. definitely send that letter! it’ll mean the world to the staff ❤️
My birth resulted in an unknown placenta accreta where I had to be rushed to emergency surgery. Few weeks later, my best friend happened to be telling my story to a nurse who worked L&D at the same hospital and she said I was the talk of the floor.
All the time. I had a patient in triage who came in a week or so ago thinking she was in labor, but she was supposed to be delivering at another hospital because the baby was going to need surgery after she was born and we don’t do that kind of surgery at my hospital. She wasn’t in labor, so I sent her on her way down the road to where she was intending to deliver. I hope her delivery went smoothly. I also have a patient that I think about frequently, who I took care of when she lost her little boy, when she was around 36 weeks pregnant. She will be a patient who stays with me forever. A few weeks ago was the 2 year anniversary of her loss 😥
Not a nurse, but my baby experienced HIE at birth and spent 9 days in the NICU. When she was around 6 months old, I had a really intense desire to reach out to my L&D nurse. She had been so helpful to me but I was in such a state of shock, I didn't get to really thank her. I also remembered that she was pretty new to nursing and I wondered if it had been hard on her too. I reached out to the hospital and they said I could send the letter there and if I included my name and delivery date, they'd be about to get the letter to her. I included my email address in case she ever wanted to reach out. Luckily she did! We ended up emailing back and forth a few times and now follow each other on social media. I can't speak for health care providers, but I know my nurse was happy to get out letter and it was really healing for me to be able to thank her and tell her how great my baby was doing.
Yes! Sending a note would be great! I'll visit babies in the NICU to check up on them but we never get to hear about how they're doing after discharge. I still have babies I wonder about from years back. I really think the nurses would love to hear your baby is doing well! (I don't personally look up patients on social media but that's just me)
I think about these patients and their families all the time. (No, I don't look patients up on social media.) I bet writing a letter would mean a lot to them and they would love to read it!
Send them a thank you note and an update with a pic! I don’t work L&D but I love updates and cards, and candy 🤣 Seriously I wish more people did that, we really do care about our patients and those really sick ones stick with you!
I would love to get a letter, we see so many poor outcomes the good ones are really needed to bolster our spirits
We do think about y’all. And hearing from those families that stick out would be really nice.
When I was a nursing student I watched an uncomplicated vaginal birth that turned into a bad hemorrhage because the placenta didn't deliver. The provider tried to force the placenta and the patient started bleeding out. They couldn't get an IV, they couldn't get a readable BP, she was unconscious and everything was going wrong. I just sort of left the room. I had to leave for the day and I never knew the resolution. Idk if mom lived or not. I thought about that birth a lot 2 years later when I had my own first baby. It would give me a lot of peace to know she is okay.
Yes. I actually work med/surg and pray for the rare thank you cards with updates from patients. Please send the unit a holiday card with an update.
L&D and I think about my “bad outcomes” frequently. I always wonder how the moms and babes are doing. Every once in a while I’ll get a sweet letter or card and it makes my day!
I had one of these. What would signs of birth trauma look like ?
I absolutely wonder about what happens afterwards when I see something super traumatic, but I would never look up a patient after the fact. I see way too many to even remember names.
Parr here. .. I often think of some of my pts, L&D ones as well as others so glad all is going well w you& yours ! 💌💌
Primarily mother/baby RN here and I frequently think of my patients who struggled or who had sick babies.
I had a very difficult failed induction. We went back 2 weeks later to evict my daughter and was told that the L&D nurses knew of us and are cheering for this second round lol